Thread:Thomperfan/@comment-32807753-20180130225024/@comment-32807753-20180201194401

Okay. I just finished reading it now and... I have MANY problems with this.

Don't get me wrong. I think AndrewBrauer is an okay writer (at least with his original works), but when it comes to re-writes... oof... well, this one is pretty bad.

To make it quick, let me go through all the reasons why disliked it:


 * Lincoln is uncharacterstically selfish here. He's willing to put others at expense just so he can acheive something or feel like he has a special talent. Even when he's depressed, he doesn't even consider the sisters how his sisters would feel and just thinks about himself, being all mopey dopey about the sisters being mad at him for his wrong actions. Maybe if Lincoln learned how the sisters felt when the other video of them was posted, I'd excuse it, but that doesn't happen, so...


 * The sisters are uncharacterstically mean. This might be the worst I've seen them yet. All they did in the original was slam doors in his face and get upset at him. Here, they literally tell Lincoln to kill himself and say he doesn't exist. I don't recall any of that happening in the original. The sisters, no matter what, would never do anything like this! If Making the Case was what people made it out to be, this would be how it plays out and not what we got in the original episode.


 * The pacing of the story is wonky. The way the sisters feel bad for what they said feels lackluster and the ending isn't satisfying, especially becuase of how short if felt. You can't have all this buildup to Lincoln possibly killing himself becuase of his family, and then end it with, "oh, we're sorry I guess" and "Oh, it's ok." And some scenes feel like they're too slow, and they drag and drag. I love drama as much as the next guy, but there is a point where enough is enough, and a lot of this feels to melodramatic.


 * The "mean sister" trope (notice how Lisa, Luan, Lori, Lola, and Lynn are specifically picked out of the bunch and are painted as the evil ones out of the family in the fantasy) and Luna as the guardian (notice how she is one of the first to "realize" Lincoln is depressed because of her)

If you want a better version of this, read Inadequate. It pretty much is a dark fanfic done correctly. While it does expect us to take pity on Lincoln, but it isn't from whining or feeling like his life is full of torment. It's from self-deprivation and guilt of his actions in MtC. No one is demonized (even the sisters thankfully). The only villains are Lincoln's thoughts and depression. This writer knows the show and it portrays Lincoln in the way I'd expect him to be portrayed. It's heartbraking, but in an accurate, true, and interesting way. It's him who victimizes himself and calls himself a bad guy. The sisters even try to help out too.