User blog:MrTyeDye/Fanfiction: Peeking Through the Fourth Wall (Episode 22)

''[We open on the couch. This time, Lincoln and Lisa are accompanied by Lori, Lana and Ronnie Anne. There are a few Thanksgiving decorations in the background.]''

Lincoln: Hey, everyone! Welcome to Peeking Through the Fourth Wall. Since Ronnie Anne's back in our neck of the woods for Thanksgiving, we thought it'd be the perfect time to record a new episode!

Ronnie Anne: Glad to be here, Lame-O. What's the story on tap for tonight?

Lincoln: Hmm... "A Second Chance" by Immatureboys! Let's take a look.

''It was an exciting day at Royal Woods Elementary school as Lincoln ventured into his locker. However, he held as much caution as he should thanks to a certain someone.''

Ronnie Anne: ...me?

Lisa: That would be safe to assume.

''Using the light on his cellphone, he checked to see if it was booby-trapped. He even took a smell at it. Everything seem to be clear as he took a breathe of relief.''

Lisa: I was wondering when I'd get the opportunity to test out my new invention.

''[Lisa takes out a remote and presses a few buttons. Once she's done, the display on the TV changes, like so:]''

Everything seemed to be clear as he took a breath of relief.

Lisa: I installed an AI that automatically corrects grammar and spelling errors. I'm sure this will make the reading experience more pleasurable for all of us.

Lana: Speak for yourself.

Ronnie Anne: No, no, this is good for us too. She doesn't have to see the mistakes and we don't have to hear her complain about them.

As he opened it, a boxing glove flashed out with a hard punch, knocking Lincoln across the halls.

Ronnie Anne: What?! I never did that! That would've broken his nose!

''The day only got worse as the halls then took him to a very unpleasant place. The screams and yells echoed through his ears as he went rushing out of the girl's locker room to avoid being assaulted any further.''

Lori: So the girls see him go flying into the locker room, and they assume that he went in there on purpose?

''He might have been in the clear if a teacher had not caught him as he exited the locker room. Already, he had a guilty look upon his face, so explaining himself would be pointless at this point. However, the limelight kids laughed and took pictures of him once again.''

''This was not his day as the boy sat in detention with some other kids. It had marked the second week that he was a victim to some very cruel pranks. Thankfully, it was not his comedian sister. Luan may have been cruel with her pranks, but even she had standards.''

Ronnie Anne: Standards, my butt. When I went to visit Lincoln on April Fool's Day he looked like he was run over by a truck.

''Concerned for his best friend, Clyde peeked into the detention room to check up on Lincoln. Lincoln took a glance and issued for Clyde to go on without him.''

''Lincoln may have had his recess taken away, but not his lunchtime. Clyde found him as he took a seat next to him. By the half stoic, half-angry expression, Lincoln was not in the most pleasant mode. "Hey Lincoln are you feeling okay?" Clyde asked.''

''"Hey look guys, it's the peeping tom!" one boy pointed out.''

Lisa: Fun fact: that phrase originated from Lady Godiva's naked ride through Coventry. According to legend, Tom was the name of the man who spied on her during her ride.

Lana: [Snickers] She rode into town naked? What for?

Lisa: It was a deal she struck with her husband, a powerful lord who had levied crippling taxes on the people of-

Lana: Forget it. I already don't care.

''"Yeah, really stepping it up for your age, eh Lincoln?" another student commented, winking.''

''Lincoln took a seat, only to find a liquid coming from his pants. On his bottom, he felt a burning sensation. Rather than the Sloppy Joes, it was hot soup this time, causing him to jump up and down like crazy.''

Ronnie Anne: First a spring-loaded boxing glove, and now scalding soup?! These aren't pranks! These are... attacks!

''The burning sent him through frenzy. There was a message that read, "happy soup for today, Lame-O, signed Ronnie Anne."''

"Well, at least she's using more variety now," Clyde said, joining in on the laughter.

Lincoln: Yeah, laugh it up, guys. I'd need skin grafts on my butt after that.

[Lana chuckles.]

Lincoln: It's not funny!

Lana: It's kinda funny.

''"Ugh, doesn't she have anything better to do?" Lincoln caught the soup and kicked it away.''

''"Ronnie Anne and Lincoln, sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G." The boys made fun of the white haired boy.''

"Oh please, Ronnie Anne and I are not like that," Lincoln defended.

"Yeah, tell it to the treats that your girlfriend always leaves you."

Lincoln: Hey, Lori? Did you ever do this kind of stuff to Bobby when you two first met?

Lori: Oh, God, no. We met in high school. We were too old for that kind of nonsense by then.

[Lincoln side-eyes Lori before turning back to the screen.]

''Lincoln scoffed in annoyance. "Ronnie Anne is not my girlfriend."''

"Oh really, why does she always come after you?"

''"Ohhhhhhhhh!" the group of boys hummed all together.''

''Lincoln was tired of her pranks, and now he was taking abuse from his own classmates. He had to get out of it somehow. "Guys, Ronnie Anne is not my girlfriend. In fact, she is not even a friend. She is rude, gross, and very annoying. I'd rather lick that bathroom floor then ever kiss that annoying nuisance."''

[Ronnie Anne starts squirming.]

Lincoln: I'm sorry!

Ronnie Anne: I know, I know. It's all in the past. It's just... it really hurt when I heard you say that.

"Uh, Lincoln," Clyde warned.

''"What?" Lincoln replied in angry tone, only to find his abuser right behind him. Ronnie Anne shifted both shock and anger upon her face. As she faced with Lincoln, she stormed out of the lunchroom.''

Lisa: That sentence implies that she walked backwards out of the lunchroom.

Lana: I thought we weren't going to have to hear that from you.

Lisa: I thought so too. However, the preceding sentence was technically grammatically correct, so it bypassed the AI's programming.

"Whoa Lincoln, I think you hurt her feelings."

"Give me a break, Clyde. Ronnie is the toughest girl at school. I'm pretty sure this won't get the best of her."

"I don't know, man. She seems pretty upset."

''After he served detention again, Lincoln arrived home by himself. Upon his arrival, couch cushions bombarded him. There he saw his eldest sister crying her eyes out, throwing a tantrum like a child who got denied their toy.''

Lori: Oh, bite me, narrator. I have the right to be upset when my boyfriend breaks up with me.

The black makeup, the cheap sweater, the bunched up tissues and the chocolate ice cream made it obvious that Lori was sobbing endlessly.

The abuse continued as she threw more couch cushions and then CDs.

Lisa: This author is being awfully liberal with the term "abuse".

''Lincoln was confused by this outcome. He took cover next to the couch to avoid all of her projectiles.''

''"What is wrong with you?" Lincoln exclaimed.''

''"You made Ronnie Anne cry!" Lori shot back in a tearful rage.''

"Look, it was not intentional. Wait, how do you know who she is?"

''"Bobby told me right after he broke up with me." Lori continued to sob and cry.''

Ronnie Anne: Honestly? I don't think Bobby was being fair to you. I mean, you didn't do anything.

Lori: Well... these kinds of things are complicated. You'll understand when you start dating.

Lana: I thought she already was.

Ronnie Anne: I'm not!

Lincoln: She's not!

"Why does Bobby care about Ronnie Anne? Are they friends?"

"No, Ronnie Anne is Bobby's little sister. And he said that he can never date someone who hurts someone he's related to."

"I didn't even know Bobby had a sister. Look, I didn't mean to, I just…" Lincoln tried to explain, but Lori chased him down and then grabbed him by the shirt.

Lori cut him off and demanded, "I don't want to hear it Lincoln! You have to make things right between you and Ronnie Anne."

''Lincoln was annoyed enough by her in school; now he was put on the spot by his own family. "You mean make things right between you and Bobby?"''

''Lori gave Lincoln a killing growl. "It is the only way he will get back together with me if he sees you being nice to her."''

"Look if you would just let me explain then…"

Lori cut Lincoln off again. "Enough, Lincoln! We have reservations at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet at six for a double date. So you are going to make amends and make her feel like the most special girl in the world."

Lincoln: You know, looking back... that's kind of fishy, isn't it? Bobby breaks up with Lori and then agrees to a double date right afterwards?

[Lori starts twiddling her fingers as her eyes dart back and forth.]

''"You've got to be kidding me!" Lincoln fired back. "Why should I have to make peace with her? I mean, I don't even like…"''

Lincoln: Is this really necessary? Seems like it's just a reenactment of something that actually happened to us.

Lisa: Agreed. For the viewers' sake, let's move forward to the point where the story starts to diverge from our own experience.

[A few minutes later...]

''Lincoln rolled his eyes at Bobby's behavior, knowing that he could not keep up this act forever. As he stared at the couple, he started to wonder why he issued the break up in the first place when Lori was clearly not at fault. In fact, he was amazed Lori did not find his statement the least bit insulting.''

''Together alone at last, Lincoln decided another approach. Now that Lori and Bobby were occupied at the buffet, he confronted his bully. "You know, it is your fault this happened in the first place."''

Ronnie Anne: My fault?! You were the one who said all those mean things!

"It didn't mean you had to insult me like that in school."

"Don't act like you're completely innocent. It's bad enough that I have to deal with your constant harassment at school."

''"Harassment?" Ronnie Anne questioned, dumbfounded.''

Lincoln: If you've got another word for shoving a sloppy joe down my pants, I'd like to hear it.

Lana: Um, how about "a favor"? She's giving you free food!

Lincoln: I don't like eating food that's been near my butt!

Lana: Why not? That's where it's gonna end up, anyway.

[Beat]

Lori: She's not wrong.

"Yeah, for the way you slugged me the first time."

Ronnie Anne: I did that because you kissed me out of nowhere!

Lincoln: Well... in my defense, it wasn't exactly my idea to do that.

Ronnie Anne: Then whose was it?

[Lori, Lana and Lisa start whistling.]

"The stupid pranks you always pull on me like the pants, the shoelace, whoopee cushion, garbage in locker, the boxing glove in the locker, and now the hot soup."

Ronnie Anne: The first three I'll own up to. The second two didn't happen.

Lana: [To Lincoln] She gave you free garbage, too?! You should be kissing her feet!

"Oh those, they are just harmless pranks."

"You think it's funny making me into a laughing stock?"

"I thought you could handle a few harmless jokes."

"If by harmless you mean butt burns and getting detention for something that was not my fault is your idea of humor."

Ronnie Anne: I never burned his butt, and I never got him detention! This story is grilling me over stuff I didn't even do!

"Yeah well, two wrongs don't make a right Lincoln."

"Yeah speak for yourself! I never asked to be here anyway. It's because my stupid sister forced me to."

Ronnie Anne: I didn't want to be there any more than you did, Lame-O.

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne gave death stares as they were about to get into a fight.

"Maybe you'd like a fist instead."

''While Lori and Bobby were slowly repairing the broken glass of their relationship, they overheard Lincoln and Ronnie Anne fight. Bobby quickly let go of Lori's hand, as this did not satisfy him. Lori on the other hand was furious as she was about to approach Lincoln until she heard the agreement being done.''

"Lincoln, I swear if you…" Lori warned as she was a few steps from crushing Lincoln.

Lincoln: She's the one who threatened to punch me! Why is Lori getting protective of her?!

Lana: Girls gotta look out for each other, Linc.

Lincoln: That sounds sexist.

Lana: Well, so what? What's wrong with being sexy?

[Lana gets weird looks from the other four kids.]

Lisa: I don't think we should dignify that with a response.

"No Lori, this has to be said."

"Lincoln, you will…" Lori said in a threatening tone, about to lose it.

''"For once can you shut up and hear me out?!" Lincoln shouted at Lori, causing her to freeze up'''. Even Bobby was widened' with shock.

Lisa: Bobby widened with shock? That still doesn't make much sense. Shouldn't it say that his eyes widened?

'''You programmed me to correct this story, not rewrite it. Give me a break.'''

Lisa: All right. Fair point.

''Ronnie was surprised herself that Lincoln was growing a backbone. Still, there were times when he would be fed up with someone's nonsense. So he had his limitations.''

"Sure I insulted you, but don't act like it was not for a good cause."

Ronnie Anne: "For a good cause"? What, was he dissing me for charity?

"It was because I was so fed up with your foolish pranks and constant humiliation that I thought kissing you would get you to back off."

Lori: Wait... is he explaining why he insulted her or why he kissed her?

Lisa: Protip: switching arguments mid-speech is not a viable debate tactic.

"There is a major difference between teasing and bullying, and you clearly don't know the difference between the two."

''Ronnie's Anne expression shifted from anger to rage. She tightened her fist. Lori was even more ready to crush Lincoln since her relationship with Bobby was on thin ice. After Lincoln's outburst, her expression started to fade from anger and rage. Now she felt like the bigger monster than Lincoln. Lincoln tried to tell her his side of the story, but she did not listen. He was mostly a victim to all of this. Lori tried to touch his shoulder, but Lincoln stormed out of the restaurant.''

''"Sis, is this all true?" Bobby inquired to his little sister.''

''Ronnie Anne sighed in defeat and shame. "Yeah…"''

Ronnie Anne: Pfft. As if he didn't know already.

Lincoln: Wait, he knew about all the pranking?

Ronnie Anne: You bet. In fact, he did the same thing when he was my age. One time he got sent to the principal's office for putting an earthworm down Dana's shirt.

Lana: [pouts] Glad to hear someone knows how to treat a girl.

Lori: Um, wow. Where did that come from?

Lana: Me and Skippy spent all day looking for slugs on the playground yesterday, and he didn't try to put any of them in my hair! Not one! [Sighs] I love him, but sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who's taking this relationship seriously.

''"Lori, got comfort Lincoln for now, I'll contact you tomorrow alright." Bobby told Lori, no longer mad as he calm down.'' (Yeah, not even touching this one. I'm an artificial intelligence, not a miracle worker.)

Lisa: So you're not advanced enough to fix that sentence, but you are advanced enough to sass me. Seems legitimate.

In fact, he felt very foolish if not the bad guy in this situation.

''"Yeah sure, thanks Boo-Boo-Bear." Lori and Bobby gave one last hug as Lori went after Lincoln.''

''Bobby then faced Ronnie Anne with a face of disappointment. "Mom is going to want to hear about your behavior when she gets home."''

Ronnie Anne: Weak! What kind of big brother snitches on his sister?! We're supposed to have each others' back!

''It was a silent car ride back home as Lincoln and Lori did interact with each other. Lincoln stared at the window most of the time. Lori could not help but tilt her eyelids to her quiet brother. She suspected that he was still mad at her for not listening to him as she and the others did not when they convinced him to kiss his abuser.''

[Ronnie Anne grumbles.]

Lincoln: Um, Ronnie Anne? Are you o-

[Ronnie Anne gives him a light, playful punch on the arm.]

Ronnie Anne: Oh, no, I'm abusing Lincoln! Lock me up and throw away the key!

Lincoln: [To Lori] I warned her that she wasn't going to like what some authors had to say about her.

As the ride ended, Lincoln was quick enough to exit as Lori followed.

''Lincoln was on his way upstairs as the sisters ambushed him with questions on his date. With the stoic look on his face, he did not want to hear about romance let alone his love life.''

Lana: Those both sound like the same thing.

''He bypassed the girls as he went into his room. When they were on their way to follow Lori called them.''

"Guys stop, let Lincoln rest for tonight," Lori ordered.

"What's up with Lincoln? He seems down in the dumps," Lynn asked.

"Ew, Lincoln has to take a dump," Leni said.

Lana: That... that's not even what Lynn said. Leni's pretty dumb, but her ears work just fine.

"He should do that in the bathroom then."

''Lori slapped her forehead. "No Leni, it means he's sad."''

"Well if you leave it to me, I can turn that frown upside down," Luan suggested.

"I can play him my latest song," Luna offered next.

"Maybe I can read him my poem," Lucy offered. 

"Guys, come on, just leave him be for now. I promise I'll tell you everything. He just had a rough day," Lori told the siblings as they walked away.

''The next morning as Lincoln was out the door, Lori waited for him in the Vanzilla. Lori offered him a ride to school, but he easily declined, no doubt still mad about the other day. He still held that stoic face as he did with the double date. Lori could not blame him, but she insisted on giving him a ride with no strings attached.''

Lori could not tell if he really was still mad about the other day, but she needed to comfort him eventually.

Lisa: The narrator just said, a line ago, that there was "no doubt" that Lincoln was still mad. Is a little consistency too much to ask?

''As Lori continued to pester him for the ride, Lincoln then accepted and stepped into Vanzilla. She wanted to use this time to talk with her brother, sibling to sibling. On the way to school, Lincoln did the same by staring at the bright open skies without a single word. He was almost as emotionless and quiet as Lucy.''

"Lincoln…" Lori called out.

''"If you're giving me a ride because of the other day, I will not accept it, or are you going to force me into another ridiculous dilemma for your own needs?" Lincoln chirped.''

Lana: Geez, what a jerk!...Also, I think he already did accept it.

Lisa: And "chirping" isn't generally something people do when they're angry.

Lori felt a bit insulted, but at the same time, she had no reason to be.

Lori: This narrator's a real piece of work.

"I deserve that and much more."

"Just drop me off at a close by street and I'll walk from there."

"Lincoln, look I understand if you're still mad and you don't feel like talking, but just hear me out first. I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry for the other day. I acted like a selfish jerk and took my anger out on you without hearing you out first. You were right the other day; all I just thought about was repairing my relationship with Bobby and nothing else. I should not have forced you to go on a double date with someone you don't like."

Lincoln: But I do like you, Ronnie Anne.

[Lori, Lana and Lisa all grin.]

Lincoln: You all know what I meant by that so don't even start.

Lincoln turned his head to Lori and asked, "Is Bobby at least talking to you?"

"Yeah, he's cleared the misunderstanding, and even he started to realize that it was a stupid reason to break up in the first place. He even wanted to express his sincere apologies to you through endless text."

Lisa: I'm not sure how much Lincoln would appreciate a text message that went on infinitely - even if it was meant as an apology.

"That's great, although I feel a little guilty for snapping at Ronnie Anne like that even when you and Bobby were counting on me to make amends."

"For what it is worth little bro, I think it was really cool the way you stood up for yourself against your bully, and even to me. I know I can be unreasonable at times, but I can always count on you or the others to set me straight."

"Yeah, if I'm not crushed by you first."

Lori blushed over Lincoln's comment as she reflected on the times she threatened to turn him into a human pretzel.

Lori: All one of them?

"Yeah sorry about that, I'll try to watch my words carefully next time. For now, if Ronnie Anne is bothering you, just let me know and I'll inform Bobby immediately."

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

"So are we good… twerp…I mean Lincoln?"

Ronnie Anne: How often do you call him-

Lori: Barely ever.

[Beat]

Ronnie Anne: So then why-

Lori: I'm used to it.

''"Yeah, we're good." Lincoln exited the vehicle with as smile as Lori smiled back.''

''Clyde waited at the front door for Lincoln. "Good morning Lincoln."''

"Morning, Clyde," Lincoln greeted back.

''The school day was very quiet through the hours. Lincoln got through his classes with ease. There was no sign of Ronnie Anne or her pranks in sight. Could it be that she got suspended or even expelled? Lincoln enjoyed the peace, but at the same time still felt guilty for shoving her out. Still, if there was one thing he was not, it was everyone's punching bag.''

Ronnie Anne: Lincoln, be honest. Did I ever make you feel like a punching bag?

Lincoln: Well... maybe a little.

[Ronnie Anne gives him a guilty look.]

Lincoln: ...before we really started to get to know each other.

''The two boys walked through the halls talking to one another until they came across the same ones from the other day. When their faces faced one another, the teasing was already afoot. Lincoln was a little annoyed but not by a whole lot. Didn't they have anything better to do besides mess with him?''

''"Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G!" the boys teased.''

''"Just ignore them, Lincoln. Who cares what they think?" Clyde advised.''

Lisa: That advice would have been invaluable a couple of days prior.

Lana: What are you talking about? I think it really would have helped him.

Lisa: That's what I said.

Lana: No it isn't. You said it wouldn't be valuable.

Lisa: No, I said it would be invaluable. "Invaluable" means "valuable".

Lana: That doesn't make any sense.

Lori: Actually, it does. When something is "valuable", it has worth. If it's invaluable, it means that its worth is too massive to measure. It's like the difference between "ordinary" and "extraordinary".

Lisa: [Gawks at Lori] Wha... you... how did you...

Lori: Looked it up on my phone while you two were talking.

"Yeah sure."

''Lincoln and Clyde walked away from the boys, trying to tone down all the teasing that was being thrown against them. "Seems like this relationship between you and Ronnie Anne is getting out of hand. Even if you dislike her, they say otherwise."'' (God, that was exhausting. I hope you appreciate what I'm doing for you.)

Lisa: You're a computer program. You can't feel exhaustion.

Can too.

Lisa: Oh, for the love of... just stop complaining and perform your function like you're supposed to.

"I don't dislike Ronnie Anne. I just do not know what to feel after her childish pranks. I get enough of that from Luan at home. I only wonder how she is taking it."

"So what do you think now?"

''Ronnie Anne caught sight of Lincoln and Clyde, and quickly hid since she was already in enough trouble back at home. "Honestly, I'm not so sure. I don't think she's bad person. But maybe if she didn't always pick on me so often, I would maybe kind of like her," Lincoln said.''

Lincoln: This... isn't me. I never liked Ronnie Anne's pranking, but I never held a grudge over it either.

Lisa: This behavior seems to be more in line with how the author thinks you should feel, rather than how you did feel.

''Ronnie Anne was flabbergasted over this revelation. Now she was starting to feel even guiltier then she already had, but what did she care anymore?''

Throughout the school day, Lincoln continued to enjoy the peaceful days, now that he didn't have to worry about a certain someone.

Ronnie Anne: Oh, please. "A certain someone"? Who am I, Voldemort?

''As he came out of the restroom whistling through the halls, he did not look where he was going as he bumped into someone. As he set to apologize, he was surprised on the person he came across.''

''"Ronnie Anne." Lincoln recognized.''

"Oh it's you," She grunted, not wanting to face him.

"So how are you holding up?"

''Ronnie Anne replied in a grumpy tone. "Oh, just the usual. I've been warned to keep my distance from you or else I'll be grounded for a month. Luckily it's only for two weeks, but I guess I had it coming sooner or later."''

"Yeah, you did kind of deserve it."

Lori: Wha... you don't just say that to someone! Show some tact!

Ronnie Anne: No, no, Lori. He's right. I'm just a big fat meanie and this is what I deserve.

"Are you trying to pick a fight with me? Whatever, now get out of my way or else, I really will punch you again."

Ronnie Anne: See? Point proven. I just said I'd be grounded if I even got near you, and I'm still going to punch you in the face because that's all I know how to do. I'm just a big, stupid bully. [Gets off the couch]

Lincoln: Ronnie Anne, wait!

[Ronnie Anne storms out of the living room and up the stairs.]

Lincoln: [Sighs] I'll go talk to her. You all can go on without me.

[Lincoln leaves the room.]

"I actually was hoping to talk to you."

"So you can remind me how much of bully I am. Well it's too long since I already blew my chance at that."

Lori: You literally just threatened to punch him. I mean, if the shoe fits...

"Just because a situation looks bad does not mean it's unfixable, so I was hoping to fix what we have."

''The Hispanic stopped at her tracks. "Really?"''

''"Yeah, anything is better than us being at each other's throats." She looked at Lincoln with much caution. "Don't worry, I won't tell my sisters about our encounter, I promise."''

After school, the two of them have agreed to meet a secret place for dissuasion.

Lisa: Dissuasion from what?

''There they would avoid all the crazy accusations and the relentless teasing. When Lincoln told Clyde to go home without him, Clyde was already suspicions, but did trust his best friend's judgment nevertheless. The little sisters on the other hand had their doubts on Lincoln not returning home in time. Even if Clyde did not say a thing, they suspected other things afoot.''

''Even if Clyde said not to worry, the little sisters did not listen. Call it material instincts.''

Lisa: I'd rather not, since that wouldn't make any sense.

''Lincoln got ice creams for him and Ronnie Anne as they met up at the park together. The first few minutes it was quiet, but then the two of them opened their mouths but cut each other off.''

"You first," Lincoln suggested.

''"Look, I never meant to hurt you with all those jokes, but if I did, I'm really sorry, yet your expressions are just priceless." Lincoln paid her a scowl. "Not that any of it mattered, but yeah sorry."''

Lana: This apology kind of stinks.

"And I'm really sorry for hurting your feelings of those nasty things I said about you. You are right about one thing; two wrongs don't always make a right," Lincoln replied.

"Nah, you're right, I should have not pushed you that hard."

"Man, and I thought my sisters were pushy."

"I remember when your sister pushed Bobby into a theme park ride, but didn't know how much bumper cars made Lori sick inside from all the motion."

[Beat]

Lori: Wait, which one of us pushed Bobby?

Lisa: Presumably you. Why Ronnie Anne didn't bother to use your name is beyond me.

"Yeah, then she threw up and the camera caught it."

"You remember that time where Bobby thought store bought flowers were too impersonal, so he picked out some instead?"

"Yeah, it turned out to be poison ivy. Lori swelled up for days. I could not even look at her without laughing, only to get chased down by her."

"Try not to get my bad side Boo-Boo-Bear, you don't have a bad side babe," Ronnie Anne said imitating her brother with selfies.

The two of them laughed and joked with each other, making fun of their sibling's relationship.

Lori: Oh, they're laughing now, but when they're seventeen years old, they'll be doing the exact same thing. Mark my words.

''No longer was there was any hostility within them as they smiled to one another. After getting the good humor out of their system, the two sat quietly for a moment to catch their breath.''

''[Lincoln comes back down the stairs with Ronnie Anne. She bears a faint smile, though her eyes are a bit swollen and teary. The two of them retake their seat on the couch, with Lincoln draping his arm around her shoulder.]''

Lori: Better?

Lincoln: Mm-hmm. What'd we miss?

Lana: You and Ronnie Anne are talking things out and making up.

Ronnie Anne: We are?

''"So why do you think people have been getting the impression that I'm in love with you?" she inquired resuming their conversation.''

Lincoln: I don't think they did. They were just giving me a hard time, 'cause that's what guys do.

Lincoln took a guess. "Maybe because you've been doing it to me and no one else."

"I guess I never thought of that, but you make it look so easy."

"What do you mean?"

"Look, it's not you..."

Lori: You literally just said it was him.

"...it's me, I am just not good at that stuff. I'm not good at being open with my feelings like your sister and Bobby. I mean the more I see them prancing around like they are fairly tale characters, the more I tend to laugh at them."

Lisa: I don't see how that's relevant. Being open and frank about your feelings doesn't necessitate acting like a fairy tale character.

''Lincoln took a stare at her for a while and then laid his head on the park bench. "I can kind of relate to what you're saying. My sisters always push me on my love life. Nevertheless, seeing how so cheesy my sister and Bobby makes me also not want to be like them. If I have a relationship, I'll have it my way and no one else's."''

"I know, right?" Ronnie Anne agreed.

''"Why don't we make a deal, how about we start over this whole ordeal? You promise to tone down your pranks and violence and I won't ever insult you for anyone's benefit again even when I am under pressure. I believe in second chances, so deal?" Lincoln offered a fist bump.''

Lincoln: That's more or less what we ended up doing anyway.

''Ronnie Anne smiled and fist bumped Lincoln back. "Deal Lame-O." Ronnie Anne struck Lincoln in the shoulder. "But don't start getting any ideas Lame-O."''

"I would not have it any other way."

"By the way, I haven't forgotten what you did before. Now it's my turn."

"What do you mean?"

''The Hispanic suddenly grabbed the white haired boy by the collar. With a quick pull in, she planted her lips onto his. Lincoln was immediately red as he did not expect this outcome, let alone Ronnie Anne approaching him like that. Lincoln was left frozen as the kiss broke away. Not only him, Ronnie Anne was beyond flustered as well.''

Lori, Lana and Lisa: Awwwww!

[Lincoln and Ronnie Anne blush.]

Lincoln: Oh, knock it off!

(Awwwww!)

Lincoln: And that goes for you, um... whatever your name is!

Lisa: Grammy.

''Ronnie Anne touched his lip with her index finger. "Smell you later Lame-O." She gave a wink as she ran off.''

''Lincoln's stomach started to turn as he looked back at his bully, but now his supposed friend. As he was set to go, he heard some rumbling in the bushes. Out of the bushes had popped out his younger sisters, ready to battle the bully. Lola, Lana, Lucy and Lisa were ready to take on Lincoln's bully.''

Lisa: Just a guess, but I think the author is trying to suggest that we were ready to take on the bully.

''"Okay bully, came out and show yourself!" Lola yelled. "You're not making my brother's life miserable anymore! Only we get to do that."''

''"What are you guys doing here?" Lincoln asked.''

"We were worried about you, so we decided to be your backup in case that bully ever came back," Lana answered.

Ronnie Anne: [Snickers] Please. I think I could take a bunch of little kids.

Lana: Wanna bet? I wrestle alligators, lady.

Ronnie Anne: [Rolls her eyes] Yeah, okay. I'm sure you do.

Lincoln: Actually, she does. She wasn't lying.

Ronnie Anne: Wait... really?

''[Lincoln, Lori and Lisa nod. Ronnie Anne slowly turns back towards Lana, who flexes her bicep and kisses it.]''

Lincoln could not help but grin at their concern.

''"Are you okay Lincoln? She did not hurt you did she?" Lucy asked.''

Lisa used her device to scan Lincoln's body. "My scanners detect no severe bruising whatsoever. Could it be that you gave your bully a piece of your mind?" (If I have to correct one more comma splice I'm gonna lose it.)

Lisa: Oh, suck it up. This is far from the worst story we've had to read, grammar-wise.

''Lincoln shook his head. "No guys, she didn't do anything; we were just talking, so we're cool now."''

Lana had to ask, "Really, so you no longer hate each other?"

"Nope, we are starting over now."

"We heard about what happened last night, so we decided to find you," Lola explained.

''"How did you?" Lincoln asked.''

''"Simple, elder brother. I just tracked your location from the micro-chip in your skull." Lisa replied.''

[Ronnie Anne gawks at Lincoln.]

Ronnie Anne: She put a what in you?

Lincoln: A tracking chip. She put one in all of us.

Ronnie Anne: I... why are you saying that like it's a totally normal thing?!

Lana: We're used to it.

Lori: If you lived with Lisa, you'd understand.

Ronnie Anne: I don't think I would.

Lincoln wondered, "Wait, you implanted a micro –chip in my brain?"

''Lisa looked the other direction, looking all suspicions. "Noooo…"''

Lola took a seat on Lincoln's lap. "We're sorry that we forced you to kiss that girl Linky."

Lori: We didn't "force" him to do anything. We just suggested-

[Lori gasps and clasps a hand over her mouth as soon as she realized what she was saying.]

Ronnie Anne: So that's where you got that idea. In hindsight, I'm not that surprised.

''Lincoln smiled and placed both hands on the twins shoulder. "It's alright, guys. If you meddle, it does not mean you're being annoying or mean. It just means you care and always have good intentions. But next time heed my advice when I say don't get involved. Now come on, who wants ice cream?"''

"We do!" Lola and Lana cheered.

"I can go for some frozen supplements," Lisa said.

''Lincoln gave his younger siblings some money for their ice cream. As they left his side for some frozen threats, he went on his phone.''

Lori: Frozen threats?

Lana: "Gimme some ice cream or I'll slug ya!" [Laughs]

''In his pocket, he found a note containing Ronnie Anne's number. With a hopeful smile, he sent his first text.''

"See you at school tomorrow Lame-O," is what the text said back with heart to Lincoln, which made him overjoyed inside.

"Not if I see you first," Lincoln texted back with a smiley face.

Lisa: Thank you, Grammy. Your services were much appreciated.

(You're very welcome.)

[Lincoln looks at Ronnie Anne.]

Lincoln: Feel better?

''[Ronnie Anne nods. Lincoln pulls her into a tight hug, letting her head rest on his shoulder.]''

Lincoln: You're not a bully. You're my friend.

''[The three sisters smile and walk away, leaving Lincoln and Ronnie Anne alone. The two of them hold their embrace for a good, long while.]''

'''Pssst... could one of you turn me off? I'm getting kind of tired.]'''

Lincoln: Oh! Of course.

[Lincoln picks up the remote that Lisa left behind and points it at the screen.]