User blog:American Titan/AT’s Famous Fanficks 13: “A Night Of Delight In The Mansion Of Fright”

Author's Note: Wow! It's been a while since I've posted one of these. Me and my good writing partner, Muppetspot, wrote this one a few months back. I proofread it and everything, but had not posted it until now, moooostly due to laziness. After this fanfic, me and Muppet decided to stop focusing on the Loud House for fanfiction ideas, and instead, to look into other shows. Eventually, you, the fans of my work, will be seeing fanfictions taken in from several different TV shows, such as Hamtaro, Panty And Stocking, Goof Troop, Jimmy Neutron, Love Live Sunshine, and more! With an emphasis on "eventually".

Overall, I would say that I was proud of this one. But every artist has to move on from their same old characters at some point. Rest assured, if we can find ways to find our OC Donut Steal original characters into other roles for future fanfics, we will. We might even call back to Loud House at some points. But me and Muppet did not want to continue with the Loud House, with it's steady decline in quality as a TV show.

As an aside, yes, I know I'm releasing a Halloween fanfiction in July. It was entirely written outside of the Halloween season, too. Gotta problem with dat, bub? -American Titan

——————————————————————————————————————————

Ahh, the Loud House. What a classical setting to start off yet another Famous Fanfick at. And it looks like it’s going to be quite another normal day there, too (which obviously means that chaos is surely ensuing right now).

Luan had just got a squirt flower filled with paint and was looking for an unfortunate soul to prank. She was craving a little more action ever since that paintball war between the siblings ended, weeks ago.

“Lemme see...Lincoln? Nah, he’s fearful about being covered in paint ever since Bun Bun almost got ruined.” Luan was contemplating her next move.

Luan then saw Lynn.

“Lynn? Nah, too defensive. She’ll tie me in pretzel knots to get the last laugh.” Luan noted. “Even though I normally get the last laugh! Ahaha!”

Then Luan saw Aunt Ruth, who was walking towards the living room to catch up on a television soap opera. Perfect timing.

“Bingo!” Luan thought to herself.

“Hey Aunt Ruth, want to smell my new romance flower? It smells like cookies!”

“Pillsbury cookies?” Aunt Ruth asked.

“Nope! Even better! Mrs. Field’s cookies!” Luan added.

“Eh, sure, why not! Anything to make my little niece who wears four underpants happy!” Aunt Ruth said.

Aunt Ruth came closer to sniff the flower on Luan’s shirt.

“Four underpants. Looks like she’s gonna need a new pair of glasses soon.” Luan thought to herself.

She then squeezed the trigger, which splurged out a ton of paint onto Aunt Ruth’s eyes.

“Hahaaaaaa! Classic stuff, classic stuff!” Luan chuckled.

“AHH, MY EYES!” Aunt Ruth yelled.

She ran into the coffee table.

“AHH, WOOD SPLINTERS!” Aunt Ruth yelled.

She then ran into the supporting beam of the house.

crumble

crumble

“...uh oh,” Luan said meekly.

Uh-oh is right. Luan forgot that last time she pulled this hilarious prank, it was done outside of the house.

The support beam began to crack.

“Yipe! MOMMY!” Luan screamed.

Luan began scurrying around the room for something to help seal the crack up.

“AHH! MY MEDICALLY APPROVED BANDAGE TAPE!” Aunt Ruth screamed from the kitchen.

Luan got an idea. She ripped off the bandaging tape from Aunt Ruth’s hairy leg…

“YOWIEEEEE!!!” Aunt Ruth screamed.

...and used it to tape up the support beam. With the use of her extremely quick hands, Luan managed to (messily) tape up the beam. Even afterwards, it seemed a bit unstable.

“Ehh, heh...all better?” Luan said weakly.

The support beam then continued to crumble, as the tape ripped off of it.

The house then started to crack in several places.

“AHH! THE CEILING!” Aunt Ruth shouted, as a piece of ceiling fell on her.

The house was a goner by this point.

KABOOM!

KABANG!

KAPLOWIE!

KAYOWIE!

KARMA-OWIE!

A chunk of brick landed smack dab on Luan’s head. Luckily, thanks to the power of slapstick cartoon body physics, she was OK, minus the headache she had procured with it.

Luna’s drums, from her bedroom, started falling on top of Luan’s head, too.

BANG!

ZONK!

BA DUM TSH!

“Duuuh, play me a solo, Boogie Bob!” Luan said, dazed out.

Lincoln was busy taking a bath, naked, as he noticed the house crumbling to pieces.

“What the hell?” Lincoln asked himself out loud.

The house was crumbling so bad that the bathtub starting angling down towards the destroyed living room.

“No, no, no, NOOOOOOO!” Lincoln shrieked.

The bathtub disconnected from the bathroom floor and tumbled down into the living room, shattering itself on impact. It coincidentally landed on Luan, too, knocking her even more unconscious than before. The Gods must hate Luan today.

“Gah! Can someone get me some underwear?!” Lincoln yelled in fear.

He tried covering his nude body up with a kitchen rag, embarrassed.

By this time, everyone and everything fell down.

“MOM!! My tea set got shattered because the house crumbled to pieces!” Lola whined.

“Ugh. My phone legit broke when a brick collided with it, so I guess I’m stuck having to talk to you dweebs now.” Lori sighed.

Lori looked around the debris of the house and noticed Lincoln wearing the kitchen rag around his private area.

“Eww! Lincoln, why are you literally naked?” Lori asked.

“I fell from the bathroom. You got any underwear for me?” Lincoln asked sheepishly.

“Don’t worry, your dresser is right over there.” Lori pointed to Lincoln’s broken wooden dresser, a few steps away in the living room. It fell through the ceiling from the upper level of the house.

“Thanks,” Lincoln said as he ran to get something on.

Leni awoke from her beauty sleep, and took off her eye mask to discover that the bed that she and Lori were on had just collapsed through the floor.

“Is this a movie set for Independence Day 3?” Leni asked.

“Lori, can you help me?” Lucy called. Her underwear got caught to a nail as she fell from her bedroom. She was dangling from a wooden post, by her undies.

“BWAAAA hahaaaaa! I’m totes taking a selfie of this for Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!” Lori cheered out. She took out her phone, only to remember that a brick had just destroyed the screen on it.

“Ahh, crud.” Lori sighed in defeat.

“Fine, I’ll just ask someone else for help.” Lucy said, ticked off.

“What in the holy home of hushpuppies happened here?,” Lynn Sr screamed.

“Luan screwed the house up.” Lincoln pointed fingers.

Luan just had gotten out of her daze. She rose up from under the heavy rubble of the bathtub.

“Hey, it wasn’t MY fault that Aunt Ruth decided to smack her head into a support beam!” Luan corrected.

Lynn Sr decided to have Lynn Jr take care of Aunt Ruth, due to her dirty deeds.

“Lynn, hon, can you please do the honors?”

Lynn Jr was angry that her football game on TV was disrupted by the house being destroyed into a million pieces and all.

“With pleasure!”

With all her might, Lynn kicked Aunt Ruth’s booty with her foot. She went soaring through the roof, out of the house, and into deep outer space.

“MY HIP IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!”

A twinkling star could be seen in the sky.

“HEAVE-HOE!” Lynn shouted.

“It’s ‘heave-ho’, Lynn.” Lincoln corrected her.

“Whoever disrupts my football watching is a hoe, that’s for sure!” Lynn protested.

“What are going to do, Daaaaaad?” Lola asked in a high-pitched, innocent angel voice, with tears strolling down her cheeks.

“Bobby can’t see me like this. We have a date tonight at that weird fusion buffet!” Lori worried.

“Fusion of what? Vomit and barf chunks?” Lana teased.

“We need some temporary shelter, until we can get the house fixed up again.” Luan proposed.

“Well, who’s gonna trek out of town to find a place?” Lynn Sr questioned.

“Since I’m such a brave saint angel child, I volunteer myself to go boldly looking where no man has looked before: for a house, to fancy all of my sister’s feminine desires.” Lincoln said with a brave, cool-looking grin.

“Lincoln, you know you’re in your undies still, right?” Lori said.

Lucy chuckled, still hanging from the wooden post.

“Eep!” Lincoln tried shadowing his stomach from the others with his hands.

Lincoln threw on a t-shirt, some pants, and some socks, then picked Lucy up from off of the wooden post and brought her down.

“See? You ladies need a manly superman, like muah.” Lincoln gloated.

“My heeeeerooooooo.” Lucy sarcastically added in. “By the way, where’s Bun Bun?”

Bun-Bun’s rabbit head had been smashed in by a piece of the bathtub. It was leaking stuffing out.

“BUN-BUN! NOOOOOOOOOO!! My only source of journey-related bravery, GONE! What am I to dooooo?” Lincoln cried out.

His sisters looked at him with pity, and sympathy.

“I will help you look for shelter, and I’ll fix Bun-Bun up, too, Lincoln,” Leni said bravely, standing up for her younger sibling.

Lincoln ran over to her and gave her a big hug.

“I don’t act like a sissy all the time, with my image to keep up, but thank you so much.” Lincoln said gratefully to Leni.

“Well, let’s go on home-searching, just grab the necessities!” Luan said.

“You’re joining, too, Luan?” Lincoln asked.

“I feel kinda guilty for spraying the paint in the first place, that caused this all. I might as well do my part.” Luan said, embarrassed.

“Count me in, too. I haven’t gotten out of the house much lately, and I wanted to go outside to inspire poetic ideas.” Lucy added in. She joined in the hug that Lincoln, Leni, and Luan were having.

“Well, let’s pack and go.” Lincoln said. “It’s going to get late soon.”

“Don’t forget clean underwear, Mister Lewdy Pants!” Lola screamed. “You ladies bring some spare panties, too!”

“Thanks for telling the neighborhood about our underwear,” Luan said, rolling her eyes.

Luan looked over at Mr. Grouse’s yard. One of Lola’s glittery pink undies had landed in his yard. He got out of the house and picked it up.

“My yard, my property.” Mr. Grouse gloated.

“Dangit!” Lola screamed.

“Well, us BRAVE siblings can’t just be standin’ here doin’ nothin! Onward, ladies!” Lincoln pointed Lucy, Luan, and Leni in the direction of the now-destroyed exit door to the house.

—————————————————————————————————————

They walked and walked for miles. Lucy made sure to step over all of the sidewalk cracks to avoid bad luck.

“I hope this doesn’t take long, my head still hurts,” Luan admitted.

Leni rubbed it in an attempt to make it feel better, feeling sorry for Luan.

“Wait, guys! I see something up ahead!” Lucy said. “It looks like...a mansion!”

“You sure you’re not seeing a mirage, Luce-Luce?” Lincoln made sure.

“No, really! Look up there!” Lucy pointed.

Atop a dark and stormy hill, laid a dark green mansion. It looked abandoned, condemned, haunted…

...and perfect for a $0.00 night’s stay.

Hotels? Bah! Too pricey! They cost at least $0.01 per night, ya know!

“Free mansion living, here I come!” Lincoln said, excited.

“Lincoln, that thing looks 100% haunted, plus, we don’t want to see you running in your underwear again after the Halloween haunted maze experience,” Luan said.

“Luckily, only YOU saw that, Miss I’m So Scared I’m Gonna Wet My Panties Again Luan Marie LOUD.” Lincoln said with a smirk.

“Yet my eyes cannot unsee it.” Luan had the horrid image of Lincoln’s body burned into her retinas.

“Deep stuff.” Lucy commented.

“Let’s go in, guys!” Leni screamed. “We’ve searched for hours already. It’s either this place, or sleeping under a bridge downtown, where all the hobos are.”

“Like the dreaded Hobo Who Eats French Fries Off Of The Ground.” Lucy took note.

The camera then shifts to the Hobo Who Eats French Fries Off Of The Ground, looking in a downtown dumpster. He finds a rotten package of thrown-out McDonald’s French fries. Drooling over them, despite mud and maggots covering them up, he devours the “delicacy” in one gulp. No soft drink needed.

“EH, HAAAAAAH!” the Hobo laughs.

We then return to Lincoln, Lucy, Luan, and Leni.

“Welp, that’s a no-brainer! Let’s head in!” Lincoln suggested to the group.

However, what they didn’t know is that the mansion used to be owned by Greedy ExecutiveProducer, a rich tycoon movie executive. It became abandoned after his death...twice. It was condemned by the town, laying to rot for months, despite it still being in pristine shape inside. It even still contained Greedy’s billion-dollar fortune inside of the main money safe.

Even though Greedy had passed away, his ghost spirit returned to the mansion, to haunt it, as a means of protecting his old home, and his fortune.

Inside of the mansion, we see the ghost of Greedy ExecutiveProducer awakening. He looked out the window to see the group of Louds talking outside.

“Well, let’s see here! Hey! That’s the incompetent boy who destroyed my movie studio and killed me! And he’s brought some of his ugly girlfriends, too!” Greedy cackled. “Time for a fun-filled night...for me! AH HAAAAAAAAA!!”

Greedy floated through several floors to get right to the door so he could scare the pants right off the unwanted visitors.

“Three, two, one!” Greedy flung the mansion doors open with his ghostly powers, right as the group walked up to them.

“Wow! It’s like the house is inviting us in!” Lincoln was excited.

“Thank you, Mister Doors!” Leni complimented the inanimate objects.

“Umm...Lincoln…” Lucy said, afraid of what was to come out of this haunted place.

“Woah, this place is super fancy!” Leni said.

The others were amazed at the beautiful, yet eerie, interior of the mansion.

The mansion doors then SLAMMED shut behind them, locking them in for the night.

“Eep!” they were all startled.

Except for Greedy. He knew that he was playing his cards right.

“Let’s find the bedrooms and go to sleep.” Lincoln asked weakly. “Does that sound good?”

“Yeah. yawn, It’s been a long day.” Luan said groggily.

“At least your panties didn’t give you a thong wedgie.” Lucy said to Luan, annoyed, as she rubbed her butt.

—————————————————————————————————————

The four of them decided to go upstairs, where there were four separate bedrooms to house each of them.

(Four bedrooms? Why did Greedy need that many in his mansion? He was a lonely maroon for his entire life!)

“How convenient, four bedrooms!” Lincoln said.

“We must have done something that the narrator liked.” Lucy pointed out.

Those chocolates that Leni gave to me for Christmas were very tasty. (Especially the ones with the cherries inside of them.)

Leni yawned.

“Well, guys, I’m about to hit the hay.” Leni walked past a hay bale in the middle of the hallway and smacked it.

“Good night!” Leni called out to her siblings.

“Good night!” they replied back.

Leni walked into her bedroom and set the alarm clock besides her bed for 9 AM.

“Tomorrow, hopefully we can see if this house is really worth moving into.” Leni said quietly, before dozing off to sleep.

“Oh, I don’t THINK so, missie!” Greedy said to himself.

He reached into the clock and turned the hour dial with his ghost finger, so that the clock was now set to ten seconds before 9 AM.

“Sweet dreams, my precious imbecile. Ahh, haa.” Greedy said to Leni.

(The Loud siblings couldn’t hear anything that Greedy said. He was a ghost, after all.)

TEN SECONDS LATER…

RINNNG! RINNNG! RINNNG!

“Morning already?” Leni wondered.

Greedy, in the next room over, put a record onto a dusty old turntable. The record said “Barnyard Harmonies”.

The record produced a “COCK A DOODLE DOOOOOOO!!!” noise. Leni heard it.

“Oh, boy! Time for breakfast!” Leni cheerfully said.

She got dressed again and ran over to Lincoln’s bedroom, where he was still trying to fall asleep.

She turned on the bedroom light.

“Rise and shine, Lincoln, old buddy! It’s time to wakey wakey!” Leni said loudly towards him.

“Urgh...Leni...I just started sleeping…” Lincoln said, annoyed.

“Come on, sleepy pants! You’ve been reading too many Ace Savvy comics again! Get up, get up, early bird gets the worm!” Leni then brought a marching parade trombone and drum set into the room and played a marching band song to help him wake up.

“Why me?” Lincoln sighed.

“Will you two SHADDAP?!?” Luan shouted from next door. “It’s ten o'clock at night!”

“Looks like Luan and Lucy joined your Ace Savvy midnight binge! Don’t worry, Lincoln, I’ll play my song for them, too!” Leni gleefully skipped into Luan’s room.

“Uh oh,” Lincoln said.

“GAAAAAAAH! MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!” Luan commented on Leni’s horrible music. “We’re trying to sleep!”

“THE TRUTH WILL BE REVEALED.” Leni still kept to her broken alarm clock wake up schedule, as she continued to play.

“This is going to be a looooong night.” Lucy thought to herself.

—————————————————————————————————————

After, Leni’s “one woman-band” alarm clock, the other siblings decide to go downstairs after Leni promised them all a nice “morning” breakfast meal.

“Don’t worry, guys.” Lincoln said, huddled together with Lucy and Luan. “We’ll just show her a clock downstairs that says the correct time, then we’ll get to bed. Besides, there’s no food in that kitchen to cook with, anyways.”

“Hopefully nothing bad will happen to this or this will be a Night Of Fright,” Luan said.

“Stop name-dropping the fanfiction title, Miss Self-Aware.” Lucy monotonously took note.

As the group talks amongst each other, Greedy’s spirit had levitated a truckload supply of fidget spinners from a delivery van outside, all the way onto the house’s hallway stairs, that the Louds needed to travel down to get to the kitchen.

“This is what today’s youth is into these days, right?” Greedy talked to himself.

He then floated around the corner from the top of the stairs, to get a glimpse of the action.

The group of Louds decided to take the first step down the stairs simultaneously, without looking down. They all tumbled down in a huge tangled ball.

“AHH, DOH, EEK, UGH, ERN, ACK, PLOK, DUY!”

BOOM!

They finally reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Owwww!” Lincoln cried out. “My rump roast is too sore for me to even walk from here. Ohhhhh…”

“Can somebody answer the banging in my head?” Luan blurted out.

Lucy took up the offer.

“Hello, a table for THREE, Mister Sugar Poppy.” Lucy was seeing stars.

They all collapsed on the ground, on top of each other.

Leni, ignoring a gigantic grandfather clock right beside her, (which showed the time as 10:05 pm) was making breakfast for the group.

“Guys, this fresh meal won’t last long! Get it while it’s still hot!” she called from the kitchen.

She had just finished pan-searing a fresh batch of Air. She shuffled the Air off of the sizzling hot pan, onto a plate, and put it onto the kitchen table for the others to dig in.

There was nothing visible on the plate.

“Ahh, haa HAAAAAAAAAAA! This is going to be rich. Like me!” Greedy cackled.

—————————————————————————————————————

From the kitchen, Greedy does an impression of Lucy’s voice, deciding to mess with Leni.

He picks up a special megaphone, used to transmit ghost voices into the human world, so that Leni can hear him. He speaks into it.

“Leni, we don’t want to eat that! We want to eat books, because we’re all SPOILED LITTLE BRATS, imeanuh, sigh!”

“Oh! Clumsy me, what was I thinking?” Leni realized. “One fresh Book A La Mode, coming right up, Lucy!”

“Hmm. But which one has the best taste?” Leni wondered.

She looked through the kitchen cabinets until she discovered three cookbooks.

One was labeled “Aunt Delilah’s Perfect Breakfast Cookbook.”

Leni looked at it and said, “This one looks...perfect!”

She took out a pot and filled it up with sink water. Then, she threw the book into the pot.

The book opened to a page that listed a step for cooking a breakfast ham.

“Let simmer in boiling water for 30 minutes.”

“30 minutes it is!” Leni promised.

20 MINUTES LATER...

“Let’s see here.”

Leni took a whiff of the book, simmering inside of the pot. It smelled like a burning tree.

“Ick! This smells awful! I need to season this dish, as well.” Leni took note.

She picked up the second cookbook and took a look at the title.

“Recipes For All Seasons.”

“This is perfect seasoning!” Leni ripped out several pages, tore them into itty bitty pieces, and sprinkled them onto the boiling book.

Leni also saw the biography novel of JaceNormanFan, (why that was in Greedy’s mansion kitchen, we will never know) and burned it by mistake with a flame torch.

“Oopsie Daisy! I accidentally hurt this JaceNormanFan book!......”

She then held the trigger down on the torch again, burning it to a crisp.

“Ahh! All better now!”

10 MINUTES LATER…

The trio of Louds started to awaken out of their dazes.

“Huh? Whazza, where are we?” Luan dizzily said.

“Who are we?” Lincoln added.

“What’s my character arc?” Lucy added in, as well.

“Guysssss! Your breakfast is ready!” Leni called out from the kitchen.

“Yes! I’m starving!” Lincoln joyfully cheered.

“Oh, boy! I’m so hungry, I could eat a Zelda CDI reference!” Luan said with glee.

The three of them raced to the kitchen table to see what Leni cooked.

Leni took off the silver lid from the silver platter.

“Ta-daaaa!”

Lincoln, Lucy, and Luan all slowly turned their smiles upside down when they saw a wet, soaked cookbook in front of them.

“Leni, your accounting skills need serious improvement. Hahaaaa!” Luan joked.

“What...is this?” Lucy asked.

“It’s breakfast! With extra seasoning!” Leni crossed her arms in triumph.

Lucy and Lincoln exchanged a “she’s cuckoo” hand gesture.

Leni then procured a biography of CrazyManCody, laying besides the now-charred JaceNormanFan biography.

“Do you like you breakfast charred, Linky?” Leni asked innocently.

She then pulled the trigger on the flame torch again, destroying the CrazyManCody biography into a blackened, fiery mess.

Lincoln and Lucy watched the torch in horror, fearing what would happen if they didn’t eat up.

“DELICIOUS BREAKFAST! YUM!” Lincoln speedily began to slice off a chunk of the boiled book and eat it.

“HEY! SAVE THE COVER FOR ME, YOU HOG!” Lucy rushed to cut off the cover from the book, to eat it.

“Ahh. I knew they would enjoy it!” Leni thought to herself.

“Ouch, this is going to be hard on my tum-tum,” Lucy said.

—————————————————————————————————————

Luan decide to take a walk in the hallway, to avoid eating Leni’s meal.

“If she thinks that I’m chowing down on a chapter of Aunt Delilah, then she has another thing coming!” Luan thought to herself.

She walked back towards her bedroom upstairs, kicking the fidget spinners on the stairs out of the way.

“Ahh, the wise one she is, eyy! Let’s give her another SCARE, shall we?” Greedy said to the reading audience.

Greedy levitated all of the supportive beams and nails out of the floorboards right near Luan’s room, cutting a trapdoor out for her.

“Phew. This is probably just a bad dream, that’s all. Time to get back to- AAAAAHHH!” Luan screamed.

Luan broke the wooden floorboard near her room by walking on it, and fell right into the hole that Greedy loosened up. Her underwear got caught on a broken wooden floorboard beam from upstairs, giving her an atomic wedgie.

“YAHOOOOOOIE!” Luan shrieked.

Greedy decide to prank Luan even more. He took out a fishpole from his ghost pockets and carefully put the hook right under Luan’s shirt. He then put on a demon mask over his face.

“I hope we catch a BIG one out there tonight! Ahh ha, h-h-h-h-haaaa!” Greedy chuckled.

Luan was reeled up from the wooden floorboard that caught her undies. She was relieved of her crotch pain, but that would soon be short-lived.

Luan was reeled up to a door attached to the ceiling, leading into the attic. It was a dark and dusty room, making the scenery all the more creepy.

“W-where is this thing taking me? Who goes there?” Luan was terrified.

Greedy picked up the megaphone again and laughed, with a ghostly echo from inside the attic.

“Whoever this is, it isn’t funny anymore!” Luan was shivering.

When she got up to the attic, she tried to see if anyone was there, but it was too dark to see anything.

She then saw a silhouette of a flashlight on the ground. It was planted there by Greedy.

She slowly reached for the flashlight and grabbed it. She then turned it on, only to see a magical floating demon face staring right at her.

“Ooga-booga-BOOGA!” Greedy says into the megaphone.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!” Luan screams as she tries to run away.

“I love it when they fight! AHAHAHAHAHA!” Greedy said as he pulled and held tightly on his fishing pole. “Just like the stupid pink dog on that teevee cartoon!”

Luan ran back into the kitchen and hid under the table. Leni was just serving Lincoln and Lucy dessert: a scoopful of “ice cream”, made out of dust. Hesitant to eat it, they soon breathed a sigh of relief as Luan took Leni’s attention off of watching her guests eat her delicious, dusty dessert.

“Luan, we aren’t playing hide and go seek right now.” Lucy said to her, peeking her head below the table.

Leni got down on her knees and crawled over to Luan. She gave Luan a big hug and asked, “What happened?”

Leni then noticed that Luan wasn’t wearing any undies, due to them getting caught onto the fishing rod.

“Also, Luan, not wearing panties is soooooo 7 years ago.” Leni said. “Same with socks.”

“P-PANTIES...S-SOCKS S,S,SCARED OFF BY...BY...GHOST DEMON!!!” Luan spoke in trembles.

“But Luan, enraged Lola isn’t with us right now!” Leni assured her.

We see Greedy reeling in his catch from earlier. He had hooked Luan’s ripped panties, along with her socks and undershirt and pulled them up into the attic.

“What a catch! And I didn’t even need to spend money on that fancy schmancy WORM BAIT! AHHHHHHH, ha.” Greedy flexed his ghost muscles victoriously.

Leni walked Luan to her bedroom to get her a fresh change of clothes. Lincoln and Lucy followed behind. They discovered that there was a huge hole near Luan’s bedroom door.

“Ahh, that’s it! She probably got scared because the old wooden floor crashed in on her.” Lucy pointed out.

“That explains it.” Lincoln concluded.

He walked over to Luan and told her, “See, Luan? There’s no ghosts haunting this place. It’s just your imagination.”

“Can my imagination also scare my underwear right off me?” Luan sulked.

“...Probably. Now, get to bed and rest up for tomorrow! We’ve got a busy day ahead of us! We need to check out the rest of the rooms in this house so that we can see if this is a good place to move into!” Lincoln patted Luan on the back.

“Thanks for the spare underwear that you brought along in your backpack, Leni.” Luan said. “I probably would’ve needed a fresh pair anyway…”

“Finally! Time for some sleep!” Lucy cheered.

“Woohoo! I call bunk bed!” Leni chimed in.

“You don’t have a bunk bed.” Lincoln called out to her from across the hall.

They all closed their bedroom doors at the same time. Except for Luan.

She had her bedroom light turned on at full brightness. She was too traumatized by the ghost demon to dim the lights any darker.

“Sigh……” Luan buried her head in defeat.

We then see Lincoln talking, under the dark outside nightfall, in his bedroom.

“Boy, Bun Bun, Luan was so ridiculous tonight.” Lincoln spoke to Bun Bun in his hands. “I mean, a ghost demon?!? Whaaaa?” Lincoln told his best bunny buddy.

“Welp, I can’t keep awake any longer. Good night, my sweet prince.” Lincoln said.

Lincoln dozed off to sleep.

—————————————————————————————————————

Greedy hovered over Lincoln, sleeping in his bed.

“Oh, you won’t be having any peace and quiet under MY watch, little boy! This’ll get you yet!” Greedy said to himself.

He dove off of a ghostly diving board, into the soft plush body of Bun Bun.

Taking over Bun Bun’s form, he spoke through the plush toy, with Lincoln’s ear right beside him. He impersonated Luan’s voice.

“L-Lincoln?”

Lincoln could barely open his eyes from how sleepy he was.

“Urr, what do you want, Luan?” Lincoln replied.

“Could you get me a glass of water from the bathroom? I-I’m too scaaaaared of the ghosts here tonight to sleep.” Greedy said in his girly Luan voice.

“That’s what you get for running underwearless around this desolate place, Luan.” Lincoln snickered.

“Yeah, yeah, you big hunk. Now get me that water or else I’ll BURN YOU TO THE- err, I meant, tee hee! Girly makeup and stuff!” Greedy narrowly dodged a bullet.

“Fine, Luan. I’ll get you some water.”

Lincoln slowly got out of bed. Tired as all hell, he dragged himself over to the bathroom to fill up a cup with cold tap water. With his eyes barely open, he dragged himself back to the bedroom.

Bun Bun was waiting, at the center of the bed.

Greedy made Bun Bun speak again in Luan’s voice.

“Yaaaaay! Thanks for the cup, big boy!” Greedy said in his girly voice.

“Don’t mention it, Bun Bun.” Lincoln put the glass of water next to Bun Bun’s hand and got back into bed, and closed his eyes once again.

Then his eyes shot back open.

“BUN BUN?!?!?” Lincoln shouted.

Greedy maneuvered Bun Bun’s hand to grab the glass of water, and poured it all over Lincoln’s head.

“Well, look who’s wet noooow! NOW WAKE UP, JERK!” Greedy boomed in his normal, manly voice,

“Bun Bun, wha-wha-what did I do?” Lincoln shivered.

“You stepped into the wrong mansion, BUB! Leave before it’s TOO LATE! And take your WHORE sisters with ya! AHHHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!” Greedy assessed his authority.

“I am sorry, B-uuuun Bun, did I do anything else wrong?” Lincoln was in tears.

Greedy made Bun Bun take a sip of the remaining water in the cup, before making Bun Bun spit the water into Lincoln’s face.

“YICK! I HATE SINK WATER!” Greedy made Bun Bun yell.

Lincoln ran out of the bedroom in tears.

“Waaaaaaah! Bun Bun hates me now!!” Lincoln sobbed.

“Oh, brother, not again!” Lucy tried covering her ears with her pillows to shield out the noise from out in the hallway.

As Bun Bun, Greedy rubbed the plush toy’s hands together menacingly.

“They’re eating out of the palm of my hand.” Greedy monotonously stated.

He then looked at Bun Bun’s arm.

“My...ripped and torn rabbit hand.” Greedy corrected. “I got another plan.”

—————————————————————————————————————

Greedy saw Lincoln running into Leni’s bedroom, so he secretly snuck into the leg of Lincoln’s (sweat-filled) pajama pants and nailed his underwear to the door of her bedroom.

“LENI, WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!” Lincoln screeched, as he ran towards Leni in bed.

The elastic of the underwear was extending, as it was nailed to the door. Lincoln didn’t seem to notice.

“What’s up, Lincoln?” Leni was having a hard time waking up to Lincoln’s commotion, too.

“It was the ghost demon, and the Bun Bun, and the talking, and the…” Lincoln spat out.

“...underwear slingshot?” Leni pointed to Lincoln’s briefs.

Lincoln noticed too late. He had stretched them out too far, thanks to Greedy nailing them in place.

“Mommy.” Lincoln quietly murmured.

The underwear elastic flung Lincoln out of Leni’s room, all the way across the hallway and down the stairs.

“AAAA-YEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Lincoln screamed.

He paused in mid-air.

“Also, I should take note that my underwear is killing me right now!”

He continued soaring through the hallway.

“AAAA-YEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” Lincoln screamed.

The underwear slingshot flung Lincoln straight into a downstairs bookcase, full of ironically-titled books.

Lincoln peeked his head out of a pile of books that were all titled The Forts Of World War 2, volumes 1-45.

“Uuuuuuugh.” Lincoln’s head was spinning.

But that wasn’t all. There were still some loose books on the upper shelves.

They all started to fall onto Lincoln’s head, beginning with “Fundamental Theorems Of Gravity”, by Issac Newton.

“Doy!”

Followed by “How To Cure Headaches”, by Dr. Sherman E. Watson.

“Ding!”

And finally, we end with a colossal encyclopedia: “Boulders Across America”, by Charles F. Reilly.

“Doh!”

“Lincoln, you can’t say that one. It’s trademarked by Homer Simpson.” Luan was watching from the stairs.

“Shut it, Luan!” Lincoln yelled.

“Oh Lincoln, do you want some new underwear?” Leni asked. “I can see your tighty whities are destroyed!”

Lincoln was too unconscious to answer.

“Oh, Greedy. You really DO deserve an Oscar for your achievements in REVENGE!” Greedy complimented himself.

—————————————————————————————————————

The Louds were beginning to think that something was...off...about this house.

“Lemme see here. First, Leni cooks books, followed by Luan’s commando run, and now Lincoln’s Tighty Whitey slingshot.” Lucy said. “And knowing how these episodes go, I’m probably next!”

“What could this house possibly be telling us with these messages?” Luan pondered.

“Maybe these are messages from God, telling us that we’ve picked the wrong house to stay in.” Leni theorized.

“Why, I DO enjoy viewing myself as a GOD, of sorts.” Greedy self-cheered from the ceiling.

“Or, maybe I just need better underwear?” Linc said. “Phew. It’s drafty in here.”

Greedy grinned. They were starting to get the point that they weren’t welcome here.

“Can someone get me new underwear?” Lincoln said embarrassed. “It’s cold.”

Luan rolled her eyes while smiling.

“I’ll go upstairs for them.” Luan complied.

Leni spoke out. “You know, guys, even though we’ve had a rough start here, maybe we just need to sort out a few kinks. Then, we can call this place our new home!”

The others looked at her in agreement.

Greedy’s jaw dropped.

“wwwwwww-WHAT!!!” Greedy said angrily.

“Yeah. Leni’s right for once in her life!” Lincoln said joyfully.

“Hey!” Leni was offended.

“Every house takes time to get used to. We just need to get used to THIS one! Like we did for our old house.” Lincoln added on.

Lucy smiled. “Can’t go wrong with that.”

“I’m in, too!” Luan shouted from upstairs.

Lincoln, Lucy, and Leni fistbumped from downstairs.

“YEAH!”

“Curses! Looks like these kindergartener-brained IDIOTS are upping their anty! Better up MINE alongside them! Ahhhhh ha.” Greedy schemed.

————————————————————————————————————— “Let’s see, what was that God-ugly BOY holding while he went to sleep?” Greedy asked himself.

He got out a Ghost Apple Iphone…

“In the other realm of life, these newly fangled technologee things are free of charge! Ahhh hah!”

...and scanned the plush bunny with the Iphone.

The Google results that showed up indicated to Greedy that this bunny toy was part of a series of dolls from the 1980’s called the Cabbage Patch Bunsters. Some were rarer than the others. Of course, Lincoln had the most common main character in the set: Bun-Bun. And after all this time, the value of his plushie skyrocketed to...25 cents!

“Why even keep that slobber-ridden hunk a GARBAGE if it aint worth DOOKIE on them sellin sites? What a JOKE!” Greedy thought to himself. After all, he only bought the priciest items for his mansion. At least, back when he was alive.

Greedy also didn’t know about (or sympathize with) the touching backstory of how Bun Bun was given to Lincoln at the hospital gift shop when he was born. Greedy was never a fan of simple human emotions, when there was money involved.

“Wait a second!” Greedy’s eyes popped open. “How is this one so expensive?!?”

He found the infamous Hun Bun plushie in an image next to Bun Bun. Hun Bun was a plush doll that was a cousin of Bun Bun, produced in the same toy line. It was only on the market for a short time, before being recalled due to being a choking hazard, with how easily the eyes fell off. It was reaching high prices in online auctions.

“$725! $890! $1337! Oh, man, the kid would LOVE this one!” Greedy evilly grinned. “But where can I get such a stupid-looking toy?” Greedy thought. “I swear, it looks familiar, too, but I can’t put my invisible ghost finger on it…”

“Say, I know where I saw that toy before! One of em’s at the pawn shop down the street! I think I’ll take a trip down there using the Floater Express! AHHHHHHH HAHAHAAAA!”

Greedy flew over to the pawn shop. It was late at night, and while the pawn shop was open 24/7, the store clerk was sound asleep. There hadn’t been a customer in hours.

Greedy flew over to the glass case behind the cash register, where the new-in-box Hun Bun was.

“Three thousand BUCKS, new in BOX, sealed with TAG? I think I’ll take it for FREE! ahh HA.” Greedy chuckled.

Greedy reached into the glass case and encapsulated the Hun Bun slowly into his ghostly grasp, so he could remove it from the glass case without triggering any alarms.

“Welp, I gots it GOOOOOD! AWWWWWWW! ISN’T IT PURDY?” Greedy taunted the toy as he flew back towards the mansion.

The next morning, Lincoln woke up and headed downstairs.

“Mmm, I wonder what’s for breakfast this time.” he said.

Just as he reached the ground floor, he saw it in the family room, up above the roaring fireplace.

A brand new, sealed, Hun Bun plush toy.

And it was all his.

“OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHHHHHHH!!!” Lincoln squeed in excitement.

He ran over to the toy and hugged it in its box.

“OHHHHHH I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOUUUUU!” Lincoln jumped for joy.

Greedy watched from a distance, ready to make his next move.

“Oh, boy, I’m rich! This will cover a whole year of allowance! Now, to see how much this guy is selling for on Ebay, so I can list him up!” Lincoln excitedly pulled out his smartphone and searched on ebay.

“Now, here’s something you’ll REALLY like, FOLKS!” Greedy said to the audience.

Greedy flew into Lincoln’s smartphone, where he could access the binary website code that made up the Ebay website. Walls of digital coding surrounded Greedy.

“Now, I’m not an expert on these here zero’s and one’s, but I think I know how to change some of them PRICES up realllll nice!”

Greedy dipped his hand into a wall of code, and pulled out some zero and one digits. Then, he rearranged them as quick as he could. He didn’t have much time to spare, with how fast Lincoln was typing on his phone.

“Oh my gosh oh my gosh, going to sell it and get some new underpants!” Lincoln sang out.

“Hun...Bun...new...in...box. Aaaaaand SEARCH!” Lincoln typed.

The results that popped up for Hun Bun made Lincoln’s jaw drop.

“Hun Bun sealed box…. 1 dollar???” Lincoln gasped.

“Hun Bun new no box...50 cents?”

“Hun Bun dog toy ripped to shreds...5 cents?!? Whaaaaaaa?”

Lincoln was shocked. None of the Hun Buns on Ebay appeared to be selling for anything.

“What a piece of junk! I’m gonna burn it to mere ash. At least THAT will bring me more enjoyment than just letting it rot for another decade!” Lincoln said as he threw the Hun Bun into the fireplace.

It burned into a charred ash. The cardboard box turned to nothing more than scrap at the bottom of the fireplace. Hun Bun’s plastic eyes popped out at Lincoln as it’s fur burned off. Lincoln picked the eyes back up off the floor and threw them back in.

“Fire! FIRE!” Lincoln said, producing a pre-pubescent laugh.

“Oh, that’s not all, dear CHAPPIE!” Greedy said, still inside of the phone’s coding software. He took all of the misplaced zero and one digits and put them back in the correct order.

Suddenly, prices of Hun Bun rose up faster than a roadrunner, back to normal.

“Meep, meep!” Greedy cackled.

The first search result on Lincoln’s phone screen was a sealed, signed by the creator Hun Bun, selling for $10,000. So THAT’S what that scribble on Lincoln’s Hun Bun box was!

Lincoln saw this and was noticeably angered.

“Oh, come on! No! NOOOOOO!!!” Lincoln cried out loud.

“Yes! YEEEEEEES!!!” Greedy burst out into laughter.

However, Greedy was enjoying himself so much, that he didn’t seem to notice that his left arm and right leg had disappeared off of him. Whenever something valuable associated with Greedy was destroyed, part of his ghostly body fizzed out along with it, permanently.

After his spell of laughter, Greedy exited the phone, and noticed his missing body parts.

“GAH!” Greedy shrieked.

“Well, no matter! That prank only cost me AN ARM AND A LEG! AHHHHHH, ha. Oh, man, I’m good!” Greedy started to laugh again.

—————————————————————————————————————

“Oh Linkyyyyyyyy, I got you some new underpants!” Luan sang out, to tease him.

Luan held up a pair of white boxers with red hearts, something his mom got him for Valentine’s Day.

“Oh Luaaaaaan, you better throw em down to me before the others see, or else you’re getting a rude awakening in the morning!” Lincoln started to sweat.

“Don’t worry. We already have.” Lucy commented from the kitchen with a smirk.

Leni took a picture with her camera.

“Why did my mom get those for me?” Lincoln dug his head into his arms.

Because you felt lonely on Valentine’s Day and your Mom pitied you. Be grateful!

“With you as the narrator, I’m anything BUT grateful.” Lincoln said to me.

Meanwhile, Lucy in the kitchen was trying to come up with a new poem, to ease everyone out from the craziness that had just happened to each of them.

She decided to relax inside of an old grandfather clock. It had a pendulum space inside of it, but the pendulum hadn’t rotated in years, due to built-up rust. Lucy was basing her poem off of a spooky playground, that four kids wandered onto.

Lucy wrote: “The swings sway side to side in the shallow shadows of the park…”

“Now, let’s see if I can come up with any rhymes for slide? Hmmmmm...” Lucy thought to herself.

Greedy peered over Lucy, hard at work.

“Looks like your TIME is up!”

Greedy took out a spraycan of WD 30 and lubricated the pendulum’s axis, making the pendulum work again. Greedy also set the clock hands to 1 PM.

DING-DONG!

The pendulum moved alongside the clock. It whacked Lucy in the face.

“Oww!” Lucy jolted.

While Lucy was recovering from her injury, Greedy wrote something down into Lucy’s poem.

Lucy came to just a few seconds later. She didn’t realize that someone else had added content to her poem.

“Ugh, stupid clock! Now, where was I?” Lucy remembered her poem.

Lucy wrote: “Sliding down the endless spiral of gloomy horror, to find nothing at the end…”

Greedy turned the clock hands to 2 PM.

DING-DONG! DING-DONG!

The pendulum smacked Lucy two times upside the head.

“Argh! Geez louise.” Lucy murmured.

Greedy added another line into the poem.

After an hour and a half, the poem was finished.

Lucy brought everyone into the living room to listen to her new literature piece.

“AYYYYY, YA BUMS, GIT DOWN HERE FOR MA STOREH!”

Leni, Luan, and Lincoln all came out of separate rooms, into the living room.

“What’s cookin, ok lookin?” Lincoln asked Lucy.

“I know we’re all a little tense right now with how this house is treating us, so I decided to write a poem, because of how much I care for all you guys.” Lucy explained.

“Aww, how sweet!” Luan cooed.

“It’s called, ‘Darkened Park’.” Lucy read aloud. “Ahem.”

“Four kids on a blustery night,

Saw a battered playground, shrouded in fright.

They decided to explore, for all they could tell,

The grounds seemed like a landmark from hell.

Hey, you can’t say that on the Loud House Wik-”

Lucy paused.

The others were confused.

Lucy shrugged her shoulders. She must have forgot to delete that line from her rough draft. She continued on.

“The oldest beauty, from the group of four…”

Leni blushed.

“...Decided to go first towards the monkeybars of yore.

The monkeybar pipes broke while she was climbing them and she fell and died.”

Leni was shocked.

“Lucy! How rude!”

“Huh?” Lucy was stunned that Leni disliked her work. Usually, Leni adores Lucy’s writing.

“That was totes uncalled for! Hmph!” Leni pouted and crossed her arms in dissapointment.

“...um...Leni?”

“I’m not TALKING to you anymore, meanie!” Leni burst out.

Lincoln and Luan were clueless as to what was going on.

“Geez,” Lucy said.

“Please continue, Lucy!” Lincoln urged. Lincoln and Luan were still enjoying the poem.

“Sure thing, guys.” Lucy assured them.

“The jokester of the bunch…”

Luan perked up.

“...Saw a slide around the bend. She slid down the endless spiral of gloomy horror, to find nothing at the end…

“That was a good thing, too, because no one would miss her crummy jokes that suck eggs if she were to go missing.”

“Gasp! Does she get a wedgie as well!?!?” Luan yelled.

“Then the girl got a wedgie from the slide that gave her terminal cancer.” Lucy read from the poem.

“Gasp gasp! Two words, not funny!,” Luan said, annoyed. “Or creative.”

Luan crossed her arms, offended.

“HMPH!”

“Goodness, what was I thinking reading this?” Lucy said as she wiped the sweat off her head.

“Bah, who needs them emotional females! They’re probably going through puberty, is all.” Lincoln shrugged them off.

Leni and Luan gave Lincoln a dirty look.

“Come on, Lucy! This poem is really getting my mind off of this stupid mansion! Tell me the rest of the poem!” Lincoln cheered her on.

“Phew. At least I still have my fanbase intact.” Lucy was relieved.

“The third one to play on the grounds, the solo boy…”

Lincoln was on the edge of his couch seat.

“...Was one to take up a swing as a toy. The swings swayed side to side in the shallow shadows of the park, well into the nighttime, waaay past dark.”

“The wind made the boy swing up too high. The chains of the swing wrapped around him from the strong winds, and choked his neck until he died slowly and painfully.”

Lincoln’s jaw dropped.

“The fourth and best girl, Lucy M. Loud, thereby took control of the playground and dumped the three corpses off of a cliff. She didn’t attend the funerals, either- WAIT WHAT THE HECK AM I READING?!” Lucy finally realized what she had just been reading off.

She looked back on the other parts of the poem, which detailed the torturous deaths of the fictional Leni and Luan characters in the poems.

Lincoln was enraged at Lucy now, too.

“Wait, guys! I can explain!” Lucy tried to defend herself.

“You sure can, Miss Princess Of The Playground!” Luan taunted back at her.

“What the heck were you trying to do, make us even MORE miserable in this stupid house?” Lincoln snapped at Lucy.

“Yeah! You’re probably the one that's been PRANKING us in this house, too!” Leni accused Lucy.

“Wait a second! Why was LENI listed off in the poem first? Ain’t IIIII the most important person here?” Luan barked at Leni.

“Well, excuse me, princess! At least I dedicate my time to beauty instead of jokes no one wants to hear!” Leni defended her turf.

“Look at you two, thinking you’re both hot stuff! Since I’m the main character of the show, I beat BOTH of you out!” Lincoln grunted towards Leni and Luan.

“Oh yeah? We’ll see about that!” Luan fought back. “Like we would ever take orders from a boy who wears heart boxers!”

In a split second, Lincoln, Leni, and Luan all formed a fighting cloud of pain as they tried to fight for who was the most important sibling.

Lucy tried to back away, but Luan dragged her into the fighting cloud against her will.

“Help me…” Lucy squeaked.

The four of them were deep into battle, tearing each other to shreds.

Greedy was having a blast, enjoying the show.

“If only my momma could see me now…ahh haa…” Greedy shed a tear in joy.

The fight cloud continued strong, until they all realized something at the same time.

“Wait a second...that didn’t really seem like Lucy’s poetry, when she was insulting us…” Leni spoke out.

“That’s because it wasn’t! I dunno HOW that stuff got in there.” Lucy followed up.

“Wait a second...then that means…” Luan realized.

Greedy was so happy, watching the fight, that he accidentally swayed the megaphone back and forth, as he danced with it.

The Loud kids could hear what Greedy was saying through the megaphone.

“AHHHHHH HAHaaa! They all FELL for it! Hee, hee, hee! I truly AM the worst ghost in town! They’ll either be outta my mansion in no time, or perhaps they’ll fight to the DEATH with how mad they are! AHHHHHHHHH ha!” Greedy said.

The Loud kids looked around the mansion frantically. They heard someone right next to them. But they couldn’t see anyone.

“Oh, God. There really IS a ghost in here!” Leni shouted.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” The four Loud kids yelled in fear.

“We can’t live with a real life GHOST! I’m outta here!” Luan scrambled for the exit door.

Before she could leave, Lucy grabbed her shoulder.

“Wait a minute, Luan! That’s just what the ghost wants us to do! I have an idea to cleanse the house.” Lucy said.

“Oooooh, this isn’t the time for ideas. This is the time for hightailing it out of this place! Hurry up, Lucy! What is it?” Luan said.

“I know how to kill ghosts!” Lucy said.

“There’s a way to kill...ghosts??” Lincoln was confused.

“YES! We just need to find its source of power and destroy it! That way, the ghost can no longer exist, even in memory.”

Luan started to calm down.

“We just need to figure out what this source of power is. Something that is closely associated with the ghost, and something that the ghost was known for owning. Without it, the ghost shall no longer be remembered, and will die a second death. Kind of like what happened in that Coco movie.” Lucy told everyone.

“Well, what could that item possibly be? And don’t say Hun Bun, because I want to forget that I ever found that in the first place.” Lincoln said, further regretting his decision of burning the plushie.

Lucy looked around the living room. Greedy started to get nervous.

“Not the safe, not the safe…” Greedy crossed his fingers.

Lucy spotted a book on the bookshelf that Lincoln crashed into earlier. It was still in its original spot, unharmed by when all of the other books fell off of the shelf.

She went up to the broken bookshelf and lifted the book up from off of the shelf. It was actually a hidden lever, that revealed a hidden safe, filled with all of Greedy’s money. Millions of dollars lay past this safe door, locked by a secret password.

“There’s something in that safe, guys!” Lucy was flabbergasted.

“Well then let’s open it up, baby!” Lincoln cheered.

“YEAH!” Leni and Luan followed suit.

“Oh, NO! Those ROTTEN kids are trying to steal my life savings! All of my 3 billion trillion hunkagazillion dollars, in CASH, is in there! I need to stop them before it’s too late!” Greedy panicked.

The megaphone was still attached to his arm.

“It’s the DOUGH inside of there that we need to destroy, guys!” Lincoln informed the group.

“Let’s do it, post-haste! This place is giving me the ghoulies!” Leni added in.

“Ew.” Luan winced in disgust.

—————————————————————————————————————

“Now how do we open this thing?” Luan looked, confused, at the locked combination safe door.

Greedy sat back and relaxed in a floating ghost chair. He knew that turning and twisting the numbered combination knob on the door wouldn’t do anything. Only he knew the secret to opening it.

“Here, lemme try! I saw this in a cartoon once.” Leni offered to the group.

She stomped over to the safe door, like an army soldier, and spit into her hands.

“Ptoo, ptoo!”

She held her hands in front of the door, in a commanding stance.

“Open, SESAME!”

Nothing happened to the door.

Leni walked back to the others, who were facepalming.

“Well, that’s about all I can do.” Leni shrugged.

After a few more seconds, however, the door slowly swung open, thanks to Leni.

Greedy was stunned. “How did they figure THAT out?”

“Yaaaaaaaay! Fat stacks of ghost cash, here we come!” Lincoln cheered.

They peered into the safe. Billions of dollars could be seen lying on the ground.

Luan dove into the pile of cash and swam around in it like a pool, diving under the money and bobbing her head back above the pile, spitting out some dollar bills from her mouth.

“I always wanted to do this. Tee hee!” Luan said to the group.

“Guys, we can’t be hypnotized in awe at all of this millionaire moolah. We need to burn this money,” Lucy said. “And whilst NOT acting like rich ducks!”

“Party pooper Lucy,” Luan said as she got out of the money pool.

“Now, what can we use around the house to help us burn it?” Leni wondered. “Hmmm…...oh, I know! Nah, not that……….oh, maybe! No, that’s only available on Tuesdays. Hrmmmmm…..”

“Why not use your flame thrower?” Lincoln asked.

“Flame thrower?” Leni asked.

Lincoln tipped the narrator $3, and a flame thrower came down from the sky into Leni’s hands.

“Flame thrower.” Lincoln smirked.

“Grrrrrrrrr-AH! Curse you, selfishly cheap narrators!” Greedy cursed to me.

“Now, Leni, just be careful with how you handle that thing-”

“FLAMETHROWERRRRRRR! FLAMES, FLAMES, FIRE, FIRE, YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAW!!!” Leni rapidly and wildly waved the flamethrower across the field of money, and across the room.

“HIT THE DIRT!” Lincoln said as he ran outside with his luggage.

“GAH!!” Lucy and Luan followed suit.

“The orangey flames intrigue me.” Leni said quietly to herself, as she burned, baby, burned.

“MY MONEY!” Greedy screamed as he saw his entire stash of cash burn to ash.

Leni and the others didn’t realize, however, that the mansion was burning alongside the money, thanks to the flamethrower.

The walls of the safe room started to crumble. The mansion was falling apart.

“Leni! Get out of there! Hurry!” Lucy shouted to her from outside the mansion. Lincoln and Luan were standing outside beside her.

Greedy was starting to fade into non-existence. (And that ain’t good for someone who’s already dead!) He was being sent into the Second Death, and there’s no coming back from there.

“I’M GOING GHOST! AGAIN!” Greedy cried to himself. “I’LL GET YOU ONE DAY, YA LITTLE DEMONS! AND YOUR LITTLE RABBIT, TOO! AHHHHHHhhhhhh...ha...ha...”

—————————————————————————————————————

Leni barely escaped the mansion in time. It was all in flames by now. No one could seek residence in it now.

One of the burnt plastic Hun Bun eyes blasted out through one of the shattered windows, right in front of Lincoln’s feet. He could see the melting plastic dot, still with a bit of fire on top of it. He crushed it out with his shoe.

“Two homes ruined in two days. I feel like a loser,” Lincoln admitted.

“Aren’t we all?” Luan sighed.

“Hey, don’t feel down, guys! Let’s get some supper at the diner just down the block! It’s on me.” Lucy said.

Everyone nodded their heads. They didn’t really dress for dinner, with all of the burn marks on their clothes, but they could use something to cheer them up after such a rough few days.

“Lincoln, your pants are invisible, just like the spooky ghost we killed.” Luan teased.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Lincoln said, relieved. “At least we have each other, which is what matters.”

“And $50 worth of dinner money that I saved from the mansion vault!” Lucy said with a smile.

“Heck yeah!” everyone else joyfully said.

—————————————————————————————————————

After a few minutes of walking, they came across Danny’s Diner. It wasn’t a great restaurant, but hey, at least it was better than eating at Denny’s.

They walked in and seated themselves. Smoke was still fuming off of their bodies, and the ash that got onto them made them look like hoboes.

A British father and son were eating at the table next to them when they oversaw the dirtied torture victims, fresh out of Greedy’s mansion.

“Simply gobsmacking, me son. Never before have I seen such knackered nutters dining at the Nosh Diner in such putridly poor clothing wears, indeed.” the father said.

“They’re dressed quite right for a dog’s dinner. Let us anspray to an Antarctica diner, far from these foul children. I am not of such self worth to be put into shambles by these on-the-pull women, indubitably.”

“I want a cheeseburger!” Leni said.

Lucy was staring at the well-kept British boy, in love.

“I want him.” Lucy sighed.

“RUN, SKIP, HOP, GET AWAY.” the father yelled to his son.

“On the nose, dearest fatha!”

They ran out of the eatery faster than Turbo Snail’s and Bolt Dog’s baby child.

“Good, they were starting to cramp up our family’s style.” Lucy smirked.

Amanda, the diner’s waitress, came over to the table. She saw Lincoln and shuddered.

“Oh no, you brought your family this time…” Amanda muttered under her breath.

“Hello, folkssss. Would youuuu like to ord-” Amanda said slowly, ticked off at her previous Loud family interactions.

“ILL HAVE TWO NUMBER 9’S, A NUMBER 9 LARGE, A NUMBER 6, EXTRA DIP…” Leni sang off her order at high speed.

Amanda cried into her arms as she couldn’t keep up with writing the order down, as she predicted.

“This family belongs in the NUTHOUSE!” she screamed.

In the middle of watching Leni torturing Amanda, Lincoln’s cell phone rang.

“One sec, guys! Need to go to the little boy’s room!” Lincoln announced to the table.

Once he got into a toilet stall, he reached up his booty and got his phone out of his hidden pocket.

“What can I say? I need SOME action in my life.” Lincoln shrugged to the readers.

He pressed ‘Answer Call’ on the phone. It was Lynn Sr.

“Heya, champ!” Lynn Sr greeted Lincoln.

“Hey, Dad! Whazzap?” Lincoln replied.

“So, we’ve got some good news! Me, your mom, and the rest of your sisters are all at the house. The work crew finished reconstruction, and it’s all back to normal! There’s no need for us to move anytime soon!” Lynn Sr announced.

“That’s great, Dad!” Lincoln was relieved.

“So, what are you and the girls doing right now? I hear 50’s music in the background.” Lynn Sr asked.

“Oh, we’re just at Danny’s, down a few blocks. I’ll tell them about the good news, and we’ll head back home after we eat.” Lincoln explained.

“Danny’s? Well, there’s no need to walk back to the house in the cold and rain!” Lynn Sr told him. “We even got Vanzilla fixed up, too, so we can pick you up when you guys are all finished up with your meal.” Lynn Sr said.

“Sweet! I’ll see you in about a half hour, Dad!” Lincoln said.

“Alright, I’ll see you then!” Lynn Sr signed off.

Before he could hang up the phone, though, Lynn Sr heard something outside. It sounded like a screaming sound, that seemed to be getting louder and louder with every passing second.

“Eh, probably just the wind,” Lynn Sr said. “Come on girls, let’s load up into the car to join Linc and the girls!” he announced to the other sisters, sitting in the living room.

“Yeah!” the others jumped for joy.

They all loaded into the van and were ready to get onto the road.

Lynn Sr started up the van with his keys, when all of a sudden, he heard the scream again. It seemed to be coming from the sky.

“aaaaaaaaaaaaAaAaAaAaAaAaAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-”

KABOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Aunt Ruth faceplanted into the roof of Vanzilla, destroying the van again, and crushing everyone inside of it. Especially Lynn Jr, as a punishment for the prank she pulled on Lincoln just after the paintball tournament.

“KARMA IS A SON OF A…”

A chunk of van roof fell on Lynn’s head, making her see stars.

“I’ll have TWO cups of sugar, Sir Sweetums!” Lynn said, before fainting.

“Urgh…” Lynn Sr was in worse pain. Lincoln was still on the phone with him.

“Dad? What happened over there? What’s wrong?” Lincoln asked, worried.

“Lincoln, I think it’s best if you...walked, back home tonight...” Lynn Sr fainted inside of the damaged car.

THE END