User blog:Chanyhuman/The Butterguy Effect (Genderbent The Butterfly Effect)

The fallowing is a genderbent version of The Butterfly Effect.

Story

[The scene opens up to an outside view of the Loud House on a sunny day; Linka leaps out of her room to perform for the audience.]

Linka: "Watch in awe, as The Amazing Linka displays her unbelievable yo-yo skills! I shall now "walk the dog"!" [Charlotte enters the scene, carrying a leash in her mouth.]

Linka: "Not you, Charlotte. I meant the yo-yo."

[Charlotte whimpers, and she walks out of the scene; Linka does her "walk the dog" trick.]

Linka: "I shall now go "AROUND THE WORLD"!"

[Charlotte enters the scene, carrying a suitcase.]

Linka: "Sorry, still talking about the yo-yo."

[Charlotte whimpers, and she walks out of the scene; Linka attempts to do the "around the world" trick, but the yo-yo flies off her finger, ricochets around the hallway, and flies into Levi and Leon’s room, causing a crash.]

Linka: *nervous* "Uh, The Amazing Linka will now take a brief intermission."

[Linka and Charlotte look in the room, and notice that the bottles on Levi’s desk have been broken, and their contents are spilled.]

Linka: "Yikes. I better go tell Levi."

[Flashes into Linka’s imagination, where Levi sees the damage in a dark, stylized environment.]

Levi: *''turning red with anger, with his teeth sharpened. * "You've completely DESTROYED'' MY LIFE'S WORK! I DESPISE YOU, AND YOU NO LONGER EXIST TO ME!"

[A wall of fire burns in the background behind his, along with a cultist choir, as the scene flashes back to Linka.]

Linka: "Yeah, I'm not telling Levi."

Charlotte: *whimpers*

Linka: "Oh, come on, Charlotte. When did you get a conscience? I've seen you poop on the couch! Besides, if I just walks away, what's the worst that can happen?"

[Charlotte takes a glance at the viewers; Linka takes the yo-yo from the damage.]

Linka: "I'll just remove the evidence, and they'll be none the wiser."

[Linka and Charlotte walk out of the room; a drop of one chemical falls into a puddle of another chemical, causing an explosion that raises the roof.]

[Transitions to Levi, who is examining the damage on his desk.]

Levi: "I don't understand what went wrong. Science is a fickle mistress."

[Loki is looking over a hole in the wall causes by the explosion, which leads to the closet in his and Loni’s room; Loni pokes his head through the hole.]

Loni: "Hi, Loki! Have we always had a window in our closet?"

Loki: "Ugh, it's not a window. Levi’s experiment blew a hole in the wall." *notices a picture frame peeking out from the other side.* "What's this?"

[Loki sees that the frame contains a signed photo of Bebe.]

Loki: "'To my bodacious babe'? Loni, why is this picture Bebe hidden on your side of the closet?"

Loni: "Oh, there it is! That was a surprise present from Bebe for your 88-day-iversary. She asked me to hide it for her, but I forgot where I put it."

Loki: *groans* "That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bebe gave me socks! I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bebe behind my back! You are no longer my brother!"

Linka: *walks into the room* "Everything okay after that unexpected and totally random explosion that I know nothing about?"

[Loki shouts in anger, marches out of the room, and slams the door; a coat rack in the closet falls and hits Loni on the head, knocking him out; a shelf also tips over, causing several pairs of shoes to fall on him.]

[Loni opens his eyes and regains consciousness on Levi’s bed; Linka and Levi are looking down on him.]

Loni: "What happened?"

Linka: "A shelf fell on your head."

Loni: "Of course! Everyone knows that an object falling at a velocity of 9.8 meters per second squared will result in a temporary loss of consciousness."

Levi: "I knew that. The question is, how did you?"

Linka: "Hey, I saw this in a movie once. I bet getting hit on the head altered Loni’s brain and made him smart."

Levi: "Linka, you seem unable to distinguish between scientific fact and preposterous Hollywood schlock."

Loni: "I don't get it."

Levi: "You see? The same old Loni. Can't even understand simple English."

Loni: *walks over to Levi’s chalkboard, which contains a complex equation.* "No, I don't get why you multiplied your "Z" polynomials before solving your non-negative integer exponents."

[Levi looks over the equation, and gasps loudly as he realizes that Loni is right.]

Loni: "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to disprove Newtonian physics. Buh-bye!"

Levi: *collapses to the floor, devastated*" My world no longer makes sense."

[Charlotte looks up and growls at Linka.]

Linka: "Don't you have a couch to poop on?"

[Cuts to Linka finishing cleaning up the couch.]

Linka: "Charlotte, that was a rhetorical question!"

[Lynn enters the house, screams loudly, and pounds his fist against the wall; he hyperventilates as Linka walks up to him.]

Linka: "What are you so upset about?"

Lynn: "I just got kicked off all my sports teams because I'm failing school!"

Linka: "How could you fail? Doesn't Levi tutor you?"

Lynn: "He used to, until he dropped out and got a job as a gas station attendant at Flow’s Food & Fuel."

Linka: "He WHAT?!"

Lynn: "UGH, WITHOUT SPORTS, MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!" [kicks his soccer ball hard]

Lexx: *walks down the stairs* "I present to you your new "Mr Cute and--" [the ball hits him in the face] "OH, MY NOSE!"

[Lexx looks into a mirror, and sees that his nose has severely swollen up.]

Lexx: *gasps* "I am a hideous... monster."

Linka: "It’s not that bad, Lexx."

Lexx: "MY PAGEANT CAREER IS OVER!"

[Lexx runs up the stairs, and he trips and falls on his face when he reaches the top.]

Lexx: "OH, MY TEETH!" *cries*

[Charlotte looks up at Linka, and she shakes her head in disapproval.]

Linka: "*sighs* Fine, I'll fix it."

[Linka rides her bike over to Flow’s Food & Fuel, and she sees Levi wearing a gas station attendant's uniform.]

Linka: "Levi, why are you doing this?"

Levi: "Flow’s the only girl who will hire four-year-olds with no experience."

Linka: "No, I mean, why are you doing any of this? Come home. Lynn needs you!"

Levi: "Why don't you get Mr. Smartypants to help him!" [Loni drives up in a purple convertible.] "Speak of the Devil. Regular or unleaded?

Loni: *draws out a certificate* "Oh, I don't need gas. I just won the Nobel Prize for inventing a car that runs on apple juice."

Levi: "Of course you did."

Loni: *hands Levi a juice box* "Fill 'er up, please."

[Levi opens up the fuel tank, and squirts the box's contents into it.]

Linka: "And then we'll all get in Loni’s juicemobile, go home, and forget about this nonsense."

Loni: "Can't! I'm off to Harvard! Au revoir, adios, auf Wiedersehen, and aloha!"

Levi: "A-HA! "Aloha" means "Hello"!"

Loni: "It also means "Goodbye"!" *speeds off*

Levi: "Dang it. I used to know that."

[Flow, the owner of the station, opens a window and calls out to Levi.]

Flow: "Hey, Chatty Carey, BACK TO WORK!"

[The station's pay phone rings; Linka answers it and hears barking on the other side.]

Linka: "Hello? Charlotte? He’s WHAT?! Alright, I'm on my way!"

[Linka enters Lexx’s room; holding an ice pack.]

Linka: "Look who it is, Mr. Soon-to-heal."

[Lexx, who is trying to stuff a bunch of clothes into a suitcase, turns to Linka; he still has his swollen nose, and all except for one of his teeth are gone.]

Lexx: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

Linka: "AAAAAHHH! I mean, you're looking better!"

Lexx: *with a lisp* "Oh, nice try, Linka, but I am out of here! I can't stay where I'm constantly reminded of my former self!" *''looks, sadly, up at old photos of himself. * ''"My beautiful, beautiful self."

Linka: "But... But..."

[Lexx struggles to pull his stuffed suitcase, and the handle breaks off, causing him to fall on his face and black both his eyes.]

Lexx: "I'll send for this!" *''grabs the ice pack, puts it over his eyes; and walks out into the hallway. *''

Linka: "Lexx, wait!"

[Linka tries to run for him, but she bumps into a plastic bubble with Leif in it.] Leif: "Careful, Linka! You could get seriously injured!"

Linka: "Leif, what are you doing in there?"

Leif: "I saw what happened to Lexx. Life is a fragile thing. I don't want to take any risks."

Linka: "But you're the king of risks!"

Leif: "Was the king of risks! From now on, I'll stay in here, where it's safe! You know what I'm talkin' about, huh, Gia?"

[Gia rolls by in her hamster ball.]

Linka: "Leif, you can't be serious!" [Leif rolls past her.] "Leif?!"

[Linka suddenly hears Lukes singing.]

Luke: *singing* "Things have gotten drastic. Now, my brother lives in plastic. Where did it all go wrong?"

Linka: "Luke?"

Luke: *shows Linka a laptop* "Check it, sis. I uploaded a song I wrote about our family going down the Highway to--HELLO! I just got fifty more hits!"

[The ceiling breaks open, and Marge Swagger descends, holding onto a rope ladder from a helicopter.]

Luke: *gasps* "Marge Swagger?!"

Marge: "Your singing is amazing! You gotta join my tour"! *holds Luke’s hand*

Luke: "Luke is IN!"

[The rope goes up through the hole in the ceiling, carrying away both.]

Linka: "Don't you leave, too! THE FAMILY'S FALLING APART!"

Luke: *from the helicopter* "SORRY, DUDE!"

[The helicopter flies away.]

[Linka goes into her room, and she decides to call Clare with her walkie-talkie.]

Linka: "Clare, this is Linka! Come in! I've got a Code Blue!"

[The screen splits in half to show Clare’s location.]

Clare: "Code Blue?! You did something wrong and lied about it, and now everything is all messed up?!"

Linka: "Affirmative! Can you come over?!"

Clare: "Negative. I've got a Code Green!"

Linka: "You showed up to school in your underwear?"

Clare: "No, that's Code Orange? Hang on."

[It is revealed that Clare is skydiving with Loki, and she takes a picture of each other with her camera phone; Linka gets the picture by text message on her phone, and she jumps up in surprise.]

Linka: "SWEET MOTHER OF...What are you doing with Loki?!"

Clare: "I've been trying to tell you! A Code Green; Loki broke up with Bebe, and I'm the rebound girl!"

Loki: "Happy eight-minute-iversary, Snookie-Booboo-Sugarbear."

[Clare leans in for a kiss, but Loki releases his parachute, causing Clare to kiss a flying bird instead.]

Linka: *gags and throws away the walkie-talkie.* "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY?!"

[Lane shows up, with a serious look, and knocks on Linka door.]

Lane: "Knock-knock."

Linka: "Who's there?"

Lane: "This is not a joke, Linka. Do you know what's going on in the world? Here, take Ms. Coconuts. She just reminds me of all the trees that are being cut down in the rainforest."

Linka: "Wait, Lane, what brought this on?"

Lane: "Well, ever since Luke left, I've had no one to try my jokes out on. So, I've been watching a lot of cable news, and what I've seen is horrific. So, I've decided to become... an ACTIVIST!"

Linka: "Don't be ridiculous! You're a comedian!" *''takes out a pie and throws it into her face. *'' "See? Funny, right?"

[A mod of wild animals stampedes past Linka.]

Linka: "What the heck was that?!"

Lane: "They're just Leif’s pets. I liberated them. And now, I'm off to heal this ticking time bomb we call Earth."

Linka: "Wait, Lane, you can't be serious!"

[A monkey appears, spooking Linka, and it takes Ms. Coconuts.]

[The monkey and a big snake are in the living room; Linka chases Izzy, who is hiding under the couch.]

Linka: "Get back here, Izzy!"

[The snake hisses at her, and hides behind the couch.]

Linka: "Izzy, come to Aunt Linka!"

News Reporter: *on the TV* "And now, for tonight's top stories. Former rising star Luke Loud was kicked off the Marge Swagger tour for destroying a hotel room."

[The news cut to footage of Luke screaming amidst the wreckage of his hotel room.]

Luke: *in a British accent* "ALL I WANTED WAS A BLEEDING PILLOW MINT!"

Linka: "Luke?"

News Reporter: "In a related story, former comedian turned activist Lane Loud has chained himself to a giant redwood tree."

[The news cuts to footage of Lane chained to a giant redwood tree, while witnesses record him with their mobile devices.]

Lane: *chanting* "Hey-hey, ho-ho! Keep your hands off, let it grow!"

Linka: "Lane?!"

[Izzy, the snake, and the monkey join her in viewing.]

News Reporter: "I'm being told we have breaking news."

Linka: "Please don't be one of my brothers!"

[The news cuts to a reporter on the scene at Flow’s Food & Fuel, with Levi drinking a "Flowpee" ice drink right next to him.]

Reporter 2: "Tucker, I'm here at Flow’s Food & Fuel, where two unknown bandits have just made off with a carload of beef jerky and a cotton candy machine!"

Levi: "They're not unknown, they're my brothers." *sips* "Their betrayal hurts more than this brain freeze."

Reporter 2: "I'm getting word that the bandits are currently leading police on a slow-speed chase!"

[Cuts to an army of police cars chasing Lexx's kiddie car through the desert; Lexx, with his face now covered in bandages, is driving, while Lynn is in the passenger seat, eating cotton candy.]

[Linka and the animals look on in shock; Izzy, Linka, and the monkey take on the classic frighten poses.]

Linka: "WHERE DID IT ALL GO WROOOONG?!"

News Reporter: "One has to wonder, where did it all go wrong for these boys? And why is a four-year-old working at a gas station?"

[Flow takes hold of the camera.]

Flow: "Interview over! Wait, don't forget to come down to Flow’s Food & Fuel, home of the Flowpee! Now the interview's over." *''puts her hand over the camera. *''

[Linka turns off the TV; suddenly Lars appears next to her.]

Lars: "I was watching that."

Linka: *screams and jumps up in terror* "Lars! At least you're still normal!"

[Lars looks toward Linka, then smiles wide revealing a pair of vampire like fangs as he hisses.]

Linka: "D'AAH! NOT NORMAL!"

Lars: I was bitten by Leif’s liberated vampire bat! Greatest! Day! EVER!" *turns into a bat and flies away. *

Linka: "Nine brothers lost, but there's still one I can save!"

[Linka enters Levi’s and Leon’s room, and she looks into Leon’s crib, but he is not in it.]

Linka: "Leon?"

[The roof is lifted up from outside by Leon, who grown into a giant; he looks down at Linka, and he giggles.]

Linka: "LEON!"

[Linka sees a trail of Levi’s chemicals leading from his desk to the crib.]

Linka: "Oh no, Levi’s chemicals! What have I done?!"

Leon: "Mmmm... yum yum!"

[Leon reaches down for Linka as she tries to run away, but gets caught, and Leon opens his mouth.]

Linka: "DON'T EAT ME, LEON!"

[Linka screams as Leon lifts her toward his mouth; her open mouth fills the camera, turning the screen black.]

[The screen flashes back to the point where Linka and Charlotte were ignoring the damage on Levi’s desk.]

Linka: "Oh. So that's the worst thing that could happen."

Charlotte: *barks*

Linka: "I totally agree! I'm going to tell Levi!"

Levi: *in the doorway* "Tell Levi what?" *gasps as he sees the damage.*

Linka: *in fear* "I was playing with my yo-yo, and it got out of control, and it wrecked your experiment, and I'm really, really sorry! Go ahead and disown me, cause I deserve it!"

[Levi smiles, and hugs Linka.]

Linka: "I'm confused. You're not mad?"

Levi: "Mad? I'm ecstatic! You proved my hypothesis! Your recklessness was the one variable my rigidly-controlled experiment sorely needed!"

Linka: "Still confused."

Levi: "I'm saying thank you for being a clumsy doofus. And thanks for admitting what you did."

Linka: "I didn't have a choice. I didn't want you to work at a gas station, or Lynn and Lexx to turn to a life of crime, or Leif to live in a bubble, or...or...or..."

Levi: *walking away* "Fascinating. Exposure to my chemicals seems to have damaged her cerebral cortex."

Linka: *sighs and looks at the audience* "Boy, am I glad that nightmare's over."

''[Linka hears a bicycle bell ringing from outside. She looks out and sees Loki, and Clare riding a tandem bike, which is dragging a string of cans and a sign reading "JUST MARRIED". This causes Linka to scream in fear.]''

Trivia


 * Tip; confese your sins. Otherwise the guilt will go to your head.
 * The original script was writen by Kevin Sullivan.
 * Please support the offical release.