User blog:Chanyhuman/Back in White (Genderbent Back in Black)

The fallowing is a genderbent verion of Back in Black.

Story

[The episode begins with Linka finishing her model of the solar system for a science project.] Linka: There you go, Mars. Right next to your buddy, Earth. *starts rotating the project.* Oh, watch out for Jupiter. He's full of gas. Lars: *holding a container of fake blood.* Hey, Linka. ''[Linka gets scared by her brother’s appearance and falls off the chair. Fake blood splatters on her project. She then gets up.]'' Linka: Lars, you got blood all over my school project! Lars: Relax, it's fake. Sigh. Unfortunately. [Later, Lars is mopping the fake blood while Linka uses a blow dryer on pages of her school book.] Lars: *noticing his fake blood's thickness.* Hmm, needs more molasses. That'll give it just the right amount of ooze. *walks off* [The doorbell rings] Linka: *Opens the door* Hey, Ruby. Ruby: *Fists bumps her* Hey, Linka. My parents are both at work so I have to bring my little sis. [Her identical sister comes in.] Linka: No problem. Hey, Roxanne. Make yourself at home. Rocky: *Fist bumps him* Thanks, girl. Linka: *To Rusty* Did you bring Uranus? Ruby: I Never leave home without it.

''[Later, Ruby and Linka are finishing their science project. Roxanne is seen playing with her ball. Lars walks out of the kitchen and sees Roxanne.]'' Lars: Gasp. *starts to flirt with Roxanne.* Oh... *Spills the maple syrup he is holding.* ''[Linka, Ruby, and Roxanne hear Lars. However, he disappears, leaving footprints of maple syrup into the living room.]'' Linka: What the? [Roxanne is playing on her portable video game on the living room couch.]

Lars: *Sticks her head out of the fireplace.* Sigh. [Roxanne puts down the game, but Lars disappears again.] Roxanne: I gotta pee. Linka: Bathroom's upstairs and down the hall to the left. [As Roxanne goes to the bathroom, Lars hangs upside down from the vent.] Lars: Sigh. [As Roxanne turns around, and Lars disappears.] Roxanne: *confused* Hello? [Outside, as Roxanne plays soccer, Lars sticks his head out of Charlotte’s doghouse.] Lars: Sigh. [Roxanne then turns around, but Lars disappeared again, and Charlotte shows up instead as she drags her butt to leave.] Lars: Sigh. [Scene then cuts to Lars’s bedroom] I know she's not really my type, But he's so- *looks out of the window* what's the word my brothers use? Cute. *Carries Edna* Don't worry, Edna. You'll always be my undead soul mate, But until we can finally be united, it'd be cool to have someone to hang with. [Edna just sits there] You think I should just talk to her? *Pats Edna* I knew you'd understand.

''[In the kitchen, Roxanne opens the refrigerator door. She spots Lars’s container of fake blood. She takes it from there, and Then closes the refrigerator door.]'' Lars: I see you found my blood. ''[Roxanne gets scared, making her jump and throw the container. The fake blood splatters on her.]'' Lars: It's my new recipe. Beet juice, molasses, and cocoa powder. Hmm. *Pulls Roxanne’s shirt.* Now it's got the ooze but not the splatter. *Holds out his hand.* Hi, I'm Lars. ''[Roxanne freezes for a moment, then runs away. She walks out of the bathroom.]'' Lars: *Holding one of Linka’s shirts on a hanger.* Thought you might want a clean shirt. [Roxanne stops, and stands in place.] Just to be clear, it's my sister’s. [Roxanne backs away] I would never wear something so offensively cheerful. Roxanne: *Starts falling down the stairs.* Ah! ''[Roxanne lands, gets up uninjured, and runs out of the door. Linka and Ruby take a peek out of the dining room.]'' Ruby: Was that Roxanne? Sorry, Linka, you'll have to finish the project. *Opens and closes the door to go after her sister.* Linka: *Walks to Lars, who is sitting on the couch.* What happened? Lars: I keep trying to talk to Roxanne but every time she runs away from me. *curls himself up* What am I doing wrong? Linka: Well, what are you talking to her about? Lars: The usual stuff. Blood, bruises. [Lars’s bats fly onto his head.] I didn't even get a chance to show her my new embalming kit. Linka: Well, maybe she's just not into that kind of stuff. Lars: Then, what  is  she into? Linka: I don't know her very well but she seems  just like a regular, normal kid. Lars: Regular and normal. Hmm... *Walks up the stairs* Regular and normal...

[It is nighttime in the house.] Loki: Lexx! Did you take my Red Riot chapstick again?! Lexx: *Opens his bedroom door* No, but someone took my perfume. I bet it was Loni! [The door to the bathroom opens, where Loni is seen inside.] Loni: Now, I may have a feminine side, but that Was not! But I'd like to know who took my pink spots coat, Loki! [Loki, Loni, and Lexx start arguing.] Loni: Where do you get off?! Loki: You are literally the one always stretching out my sweaters every time you borrow them! Loni: Fess up! Lexx: That's  my  scent! I can't let people associate it with you! Loki: We can do this the hard way- Lexx: *turns around* Hang on, I smell my perfume! *Sniffs up the pink scent leading him to Lynn and Lars’s room.* LYNN! You'd better not be using my perfume to cover the stink of your hockey pads! [The three brothers gasp as it was shocking to see Lars using Lexx’s perfume, Loki’s chapstick, and wearing Loni’s Sports coat.] Loki: *curious* What are you doing? Lars: I-I-I...I thought if I'd be regular and normal, Ruby’s sister Roxanne would like me. Sorry I took your stuff. I understand if you're mad. Loki: *stomps his feet* You're darn right we're mad! [Lars is down] *gets excited*  Mad you didn't let us help! Loni: Yeah, we've been wanting to give you a makeover since like, birth! Lexx: *comes in with a big cardboard collage of fashion models with Lars’s face plastered all over their own.* I've been working on this Lars vision board for years! Until now, it was just a fantasy. Loki: *looks at Lexx* Lexx, We’ll never doubt your beliefs again. *calls his other brothers* GUYS! IT'S LITERALLY HAPPENING! LARS IS FINALLY READY! [The others get out their styling gear.] Lars: Will this hurt? ''[The guys all start giving him a makeover. This results in Lars looking like a cheerleader.]'' Brothers: Too peppy. [They give him another makeover and this time, the result is Lars as an 80's divo.] Brothers: Too poofy. [They try again and this time, Lars looks like a fancy prince.] Brothers: Too prince-y. [One more makeover results in Lars wearing hot pink and having blonde hair.] Brothers: Too...PERFECT!!! Lars: *examines his new look with his pet bat perching on his head.* Hmm...I can live with this. What do you think, Fangs? Lexx: *shoos Fangs away* Eww, eww! No more bats! Luke: Yeah, and do not talk about mortality. Loni: Or death. Leif: Or ask him her blood type. Loki: Or suggest a cemetery for a date. Lane: And make sure you tell jokes, and laugh at all of hers. Like this. *laughs heartily* Lars: *not even trying* Ha ha. Ha. Ha ha. Lynn: Oh, and act like your into sports. Girls really dig that. Levi: If all else fails, try a little of my patented cake spray, scientifically proven to attract eight-year-old girls. [Levi sprays some on Lars while the other brothers cough in disgust.] Lars: Gag. Levi: Note to self: go lighter with the fish oil. ''[Chris suddenly attacks Lars due to the spray and he calmly screams at this attack and runs out of his room while Linka is passing with her completed project. Fangs comes flying out and almost hits Linka and her project.]'' Linka: *confused* Who  was  that? Loki: The new and improved, regular and normal Lars! Loni: AKA the future Mro. Roxanne! Linka : So, that's how you're helping Lars? I don't know, guys. That seems like a really- Levi: Oh, please. As if a female would have any insight into matters of the heart. Luke: You just get Roxanne back here, sis. Linka: How am I supposed to do that? Lane: Get Ruby to bring her. Don't you girls have more work to do on your project? Linka: Nope. All finished. Lynn: *smashes the project with his hockey stick.* Not anymore.

[Linka and Roxanne are fixing up the damage Lynn caused to the project.] Ruby: *suspicious* So, the dog did this? Linka: Uh, yup. *false discipline* Bad Charlotte! ''[Charlotte whimpers and drags her butt across the carpet in frustration. Lars is coming down the stairs. He trips in his new shoes but quickly regains his balance and poses for Roxanne. The other guys are looking eagerly toward this, but Roxanne does not seem to notice Lars. Loni signals Lars to flip his hair at her.]''

Lars: *flipping hair* OMG, Roxanne. It's totally great to see you. Roxanne: Um...who are you? Lars: I'm Lars. Roxanne: Oh. Uh...I didn't recognize you. [Loki enters dragging Bebe into the house while pretending to be on a call on his phone.] Loki: *acting* You can't make it to mini-golf? But we already bought four tickets! [Bebe looks at Lucy in confusion over his new look and Loki nudges her for her cue.]

Bebe: *reading something on her arm.* Oh, um, right! Um, maybe we should...invite two other people to come. Loki: *gasping and acting* What a great idea! Anyone? Lars? Lars: *acting* I'm supposed to meet my guy-friends at the mall, but...YOLO. [Lori nudges Bobby for his cue again.] Bebe: Oh! *reading her arm script* If only there was another girl to round out the foursome. Loki: You're free, right, Roxanne? *grabs her arm* Great! [Loki and Lars eagerly leave with their confused dates while the other brothers grin with hope.] Ruby: *flirts with them* Any of you  other boys  looking for a date? [They all back away upstairs after hearing that.]

''[Hole-In-Onederland. The dates are playing a game.]'' Loki: Just follow my lead, and remember, regular and normal. ''[Lars nods. Loki swings and misses his ball.]'' Loki: *acting* Oops! *giggles* Boo Boo Bear, what am I doing wrong? Can you help me? Bebe: *unaware of acting* But, Babe, you're on the Varsity Golf-[Loki hits her leg with his putter.] OW! I mean, sure, Babe. I'll help you. *shows her* Okay, just square your shoulders and follow through. ''[They putt together. Lars tries doing what Loki did and hits Roxanne in the knee.]'' Lars: Oops. *tosses her putter* Roxanne: Ow! What was that for? Lars: I thought uh, um, uh, Did you see that Baseball team that played the other night? *nervously grins as Roxanne looks on confused.* [The next hole, Bebe putts her ball through the windmill and sinks it.] Loki: Ooh. *chuckles and claps* Great shot, Boo Boo Bear. *giggles* Bebe: That one's for you, babe. *pokes his nose* Loki: Aw! *giggles* [Roxanne steps up to the putting position and hits her ball, making it fly everywhere in the course.] Lars: Ooh, great shot, Roxy Bear. Roxanne: What? I totally shanked it! My ball went down a rain gutter. Lars: Ha ha. Ha ha. You're so funny. *pushes her* Roxanne: Ah! *falls into the water hazard.* [On the haunted hole, Rocky sinks his ball into the cup.] Bebe: Good shot, sister. *high fives Roxanne* Loki: *feigning fear* Ooh, this hole is creepy! Right, Lars? [Lars is admiring a casket.] Lars: Whoa. The Freilich 2000 with crushed velvet interior. I've only seen these in catalogues. *opens it up and prepares to get in.* Loki: *pulling his brother back* Lars, no no no! *whispering* Regular and normal! [When Loki pulls Lars free, he accidentally hits Roxanne who then is pushed back, and lands inside a coffin screaming all the way.]

''[Back at the Loud House, the other boys are waiting around for Loki and Lars to get back. Lexx is pacing around, Leif is adding his booger to Levi’s chemical, Lynn is tossing a baseball up in the air bored, Luke is playing a song on his acoustic guitar, Lane is reading a book, and Loni is playing with Leon. Soon, their dating brothers get back and they're eager to hear what happened.]'' Lexx: TELL ME EVERYTHING! TELL ME EVERYTHING! Loni: Are you totes in love?

Lars: *taking his dress shoes off; depressed.* No. We are totes not. Loki: Lars, wait. We're sorry we pushed you so hard. Brothers: Sorry. Loki: We got a little too excited when you said you wanted to be normal and regular, like us, and I saw that you were trying be like me, Loni, and Lexx, but mostly Loni and Lexx, but you're not any of us or those things. You're Lars Loud. You're perfect just the way you are. And  we  love you, man. Lars: Sigh. There's no need to apologize. I know you were just trying to help, and I thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit in the dark. That always cheers me up. *heads upstairs* Loki: Well, lesson learned: you can take the guy out of the coffin, but you can't take the coffin out of the guy.

[Linka has just finished her project again and hears Lars.] Lars: Well, Edna, Roxanne doesn't like me as myself, she doesn't like me as a regular, normal guy, maybe she just doesn't like me. *takes off his accessories* Sigh. I was a fool to ever think it could work with a mortal being. [pulls out his coffin and sits in it in despondence.] Linka: Poor kid. Lars: Fangs, bedtime. [Fangs comes swooping by and knocks Linka’s project out of her hand, causing it to break.] Linka: Dang it.

''[The next day at Ruby’s house. Linka and Ruby have finished the project once again.]'' Ruby: There we go. Now, as long as we keep it far away from  your  house, we should be done. [Roxanne comes walking by covered in some red liquid substance.] Ruby: *panicking* AH! ROXANNE! YOU'RE BLEEDING! *gasps and faints* [Linka checks her project partner's condition.] Roxanne: Don't worry, girl. Ruby faints all the time. Linka: Yeah, but are you alright? Roxanne: Oh, yeah. This is  fake  blood. Linka: Why would you have fake blood? Roxanne: I saw Lars making it at your house, and it seemed kinda cool, so I thought I'd give it a try. Anyway...*walks off* [Linka gets an idea and bumps the project off the table with her butt.] Lincoln: *acting* Oops. Ruby: *waking up* Wha...what happened? Linka: Uh...you fainted and broke our solar system. Ruby: Aw, man! Linka: That's okay. We can fix it at my house. I have an extra Jupiter. Ruby: *unsure*  Your  house? Linka: Well, our project isn't any safer here. Ruby: I guess you're right. Come on, Rox! Let's roll!

''[The Loud House. Ruby and Linka are once more repairing their project while Roxanne is playing video games.]'' Ruby: Done! Form a protective perimeter. ''[Ruby and Linka surround their solar system with their arms. While in that position, Linka notices Lars coming into the kitchen, back to his usual goth self.]'' Linka: Hey, Roxanne, grab us some sodas from the kitchen, will ya? ''[Roxanne shrugs and goes to the kitchen. Lars puts in some more fake blood and just as he closes the door, Roxanne appears behind it and Lars’s gets scared (for once.)]'' Lars: Ah! [calm] Oh. Hi. Roxanne: *with sodas* Uh, hi. You changed your hair back. Lars: Yeah, the blonde wasn't really me. I was trying to be regular and normal, but I think I'm just gonna be myself. Roxanne: I'm really glad to hear that. Lars: Thanks. Well, see you later. *realizes what she said* Wait. You are? But when we first met, you kept running away. I thought I scared you. Roxanne: To be honest, I thought you were too cool for me, and I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just ran. [The two realize they have more in common than they thought, and blush.] Lars: Hey, uh, my coffin collection's in the basement. Wanna check it out? Roxanne: Sure. They'd be really fun. As long as I don't have to get in one. Lars: Deal. [Lars turns to Linka and gives her a thumbs-up as thanks.] Ruby: *exhausted from their protecting their project.* Can we stop? I'm feeling faint.

[The next day at school, Linka and Ruby are carefully bringing their project over, trying to avoid it getting ruined at the last second.] Ruby : Easy. Ah! Watch the pothole! Linka: It's okay, Ruby. We spent all weekend on this, we're not gonna drop it now. [Roxanne and Lars appear right behind them with a container of fake blood.] Lars and Roxanne: Hey, guys. [Both Linka and Ruby leap in the air and shriek while still holding onto their project.] Ruby: Phew. Good save, girl! *high fives Linka* Lars: Sorry we scared you. Roxanne: We just wanted to tell you we nailed the fake blood recipe. Lars: We also threw in a few popcorn kernels for brain matter. *adds kernels* [The sight of this makes Ruby pass out and drop the project, destroying it for the last time.] Linka: [annoyed] Dang it.

Trivia


 * Unfortunitly, there was no male version of Mrs. So I invinted one, "Mro."
 * The original verion was writen by Gloria Shen.
 * Please support the ofical release.