User blog:RadicalPatMan/Fanfic - Lana's Invention

My first ever original fanfic so comment and review the fanfic. Guess what this fanfic's referencing.



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Fanfic
(Scene opens with Lola sitting on the couch without her tiara reading a book called Little Red Ridding Hood)

Lana (offscreen): Hey, Lo-la!

(Lola trembles being put off on hearing Lana's voice)'

Lola: What?

Lana: (she's holding a box in her hands, smiling) Will you play with my new pets?

Lola: Go away, I'm busy! I just lost my favorite tiara!

Lana: Come on, Lola I'm sure this will cheer you up, PLEEEASE!

Lola: Huh? Uh, all right, all right, sure.

(Lana perks up smiling excitedly at the camera, it fades out to the next shot of Lola's face; cut to a full body shot of Lola, who appears to have a lizard wrapped around her head.)

Lola: All right, Lana. I'm losing my patience! Let's get this over with!

Lana: Ahem. Ladies and gents, I give you... my new pet lizard, Iggy! Not to be confused with my other lizard Izzy.

[Lola tries to play with Iggy but it ends up going number 2 on her sash.]

Lola: AAHHH!!!! (Lola runs off throwing her dirty sash off her)

[Next, Lana showing Lola a puppy, Lola is standing a few feet away behind her, still not impressed.]

Lola: Will you hurry so I can finish my book? (She frowns)

Lana: (finally gets up and shows Lola the puppy) Check this out, Lola. Isn't this puppy so cute?

(Lola stares at the puppy)

Lola: Well, it does look kind of cute (Lana is initially relieved until the puppy starts to chew and rip off the bottom half of Lola's dress)

Lola: Yooooouuuu!

[Lana holds up a box and presents it to her, all wrapped up in a ribbon]

Lana: Here, Lola, for yooou!

(Now Lola's dress is back to normal.)

Lola: Oh. What is it?

Lana: Go ahead, open it!

[Lola does so, taking out a gecko]

Lola: What is it?

Lana: It's my newest pet which is a gecko. It's the pet that'll always love you forever and stay close to you.

Lola: Say, now that's a good pet! Especially for those who are amazing like me! (holds the gecko) Why, it's amazing! What's it do?

Lana: It sticks to you.

(Lola tries to pull the gecko off her, but it seems to have a tight grip and refuses to let go. Lana smiles)

Lana: I'm so glad you like it, Lola! Wait here, I'll go get its babies!

Lola: YOU FILTHY SWINE! I WILL DO SOMETHING NOT NICE ONCE I GET THIS LIZARD OFF ME!

(She grunts and strains for a bit until Lana comes back to no avail)

Lana: Say, what's the matter, Lola? Say... you don't suppose... She's unhappy? I know now what I must do. I must make my twin happy even if we do fight occasionally.

[Lana looks on sadly at her twin, and bites her lip.]

(Later, in Lisa's room. Lisa is working on an invention when Lana comes in)

Lisa: Fellow sibling, what seems to be the trouble.

Lana: Lola's unhappy and since you're smart, you'll know how to make her happy.

Lisa: Although I may not know much about making people happy, I have Darcy for that, I have an invention that can make even the grumpiest person happy using a remote control but I haven't tested it yet so-

(Lana runs off and swipes the invention)

Lana: Thanks Lisa!

(Lisa stares the viewers)

Lisa: Well, at least this'll be a good learning experience for her.

[Back in the living room, Lola's continuing with the book she was reading earlier, "Dance Of The Hours" plays again]

Lana: (offscreen) Lo-la! *she gets startled again from hearing Lana*

Lola: WHAT?!

Lana: *sympathetically with her lips sticking out* Are you feeling any better?

Lola: (mockingly) No I'm not feeling any better. *suddenly ponders* Wait! What are you up to?

Lana: [innocently] Oh, no-othing. *with her hands behind her back slowly rocking with her hips back and forth coyly*

Lola: What have you got behind your back? (gets off the couch, folding up the paper, ready to whack her with it) You're hiding something from me... aren't you? What is it you're hiding? All right let's see it! Okay, hand it over!

(Lana looks knowingly at the audience, jumps into the air and slams something down on Lola's head. It looks like a cross between a toaster and something out of 'Flash Gordon'. "Night On Bald Mountain" by Modest Mussorgsky starts to play as Lola feels the big metal helmet on her head)

Lola: Hey! What is this thing? (tries to pull it off her head) Get it off of me!

Lana: It's a happy helmet thingy, Lola. Now you'll always be happy! And this is the remote control. And I use this dial to control how happy you are!

Lola: Youuu SICK little monkey! Why I oughta- !

''Lana pushes a button on the remote control and Lola freezes as a buzzing sound is heard. Her mouth curves into a smile and she tries to fight it. "Flight Of The Bumblebee" plays''

Lana: Hey, it works! *pushes the button again.*

Lola: HEY! WHAT'S- HAPPENING- TO ME?!

(Lana cackles madly. Lola's mouth is forced into an even bigger smile and Lana laughs harder)

Lola: No! Got to fight it! Can't lose control! Will strong.... body weak.....(Lana laughs harder still...Lola's mouth snaps into a huge grin and she laughs insanely)

Lola: "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA, ha ha ha ha! Lana, I'm so - happy! I must - go *has the word "go" in her mouth, she moves rapidly with every word* - do nice - things! Hee hee he hee hee, ha ha ha hahaaaa! *walks off; In doing this, her entire body turns except for her head, then juts out her chest before taking any steps. Later on, she is seen at an ironing board, still grinning away,* So - happy - ironing... for LANA! Ha ha ha ha ha haaa!

[Lola holds up a newly ironed pair of overalls off the board and gives them to Lana.]

[Lola in bed with posters of sickeningly, frighteningly cute, fluffy animals and happy smiles all around her. A crash is heard with some beeping. Lola's eyes crack open. Lana pulls up in Lola's princess car outside the house, she has a bike horn on her head attached to a helmet, she honks it again. She appears at the door, before opening it]

Lana: Oh Lo-la! I've got a surprise for you! Hey... maybe Lola is somewhere being sad! I will make her happy again!

[Lana grabs the remote and pushes the button. Lola sits bolt upright in bed]

Lana: Lo-la, oh Lo-la!

[Poor Lola appears at the foot of the stairs, still with the huge smile on her face but completely and utterly miserable; she lurches towards Lana to try and strangle her but the helmet isn't letting her do so.]

Lana: Boy, Lola, if you think you're happy now, wait'll you hear this! It's a record of my favorite song! [Lana goes over to a gramophone]
 * The cover shows a Burl Ives like man on it*

Lana: It's called "Happy Happy Joy Joy'!"

[She places the record into the record player and a guitar chord starts up after a few seconds]

Man on the record: Hello, boys and girls! This is your old pal Stinky Wizzleteats! This is a song about a whale! (Lana pushes the button and Lola assumes a dance position)

Man on the record: NO! This is a song about being happy!

Lana jumps into place, they both do a little bob up and down with their knees bending a little to the tune, one friend at a time, both grinning away

Man on the record: That's right! It's the happy happy joy joy song! *They both look at each other smiling*

Happy Happy Joy Joy

[Lola and Lana both do a "jello thrusting" movement*]

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

[They both hit their butts together four times]

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

[They both do a little physically impossible skip on the spot]

Happy Happy Joy Joy

[Followed by a little hop on all fours till they go offscreen]

Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy

I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and girls, let's try it again!

Happy Happy Joy Joy *they both repeat the routine again*

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy (Lana is seen on her own doing a little dance, her teeth all buck like and whacky)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy

If'n you ain't the granddaddy of all liars! And the little critters of nature, they don't know that they're ugly. That's very funny. A fly marrying a bumblebee... I'd told you I'd shoot, but you didn't believe me, why didn't you believe me?!

(At the last part Lola bounces into the kitchen. She rummages through a drawer and pulls out a hammer)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

(Lola starts smashing the hammer over her head whilst Lana is still dancing)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

(Lola's still smashing...)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

(...while Lana is doing a dance routine on the floor, her glutes going left and right whilst she's on her back, Lola is still smashing away)

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy Happy Joy Joy

Happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy...

(Lola smashes the helmet faster to the beat of the song)

...joy joy joooooy!

(A ticked off Lola stomps over to Lana and grabs her around the neck just as the songs ends.)

Lana: Lola, you're... you're angry?

Lola: You're darn tootin' I'm angry! I have never been this angry in my entire life!

Lana: I was just trying to cheer you up!

Lola: (angry) You call having a lizard poop on my sash, a puppy ruin my dress, a gecko sticking to me, and a happy helmaet forcing me to be happy sound fun to you!

Lana: I'm sorry!

Lola: (shaking Lana) Not as sorry as you're going to be when I'm through with- (Lola's favorite tiara falls out of Lana's overalls. Lola lets go of Lana as she grabs her tiara)

Lola: (angry) You had my tiara the whole time! I ought to do something not nice! But since you did try to cheer me up, I'll forgive you.

Lana: Okay!

(Lola and Lana hug as the episode ends)

THE END.