User blog:Chanyhuman/White Rabid (Genderbent White Hare)



The fallowing is a Genderbent version of White Hare.

Story 

[Linka is in her room dressed like a biker gang member.]

Linka: *talking to the audience* "You might be wondering who's the cool girl in the Loud House. It's me, Linka, and I can't wait to tell you why I have this stuff on, you see..."

[Linka is interrupted by Clare.]

Clare: *on the walkie talkie. * "Linka are you ready to introduce yourself to the new boy today?"

Linka: "Or Clare can tell you *On the walkie talkie.* that's formative all set, got my threads, *camera zooms in at temporary tattoo* got my temporary tatt, and a list of slang I got from a teen magazine."

Clare: "That's great, buddy. But, do you really need all that? You're already cool. You jumped that puddle on your bike the other day."

Linka: "Well the way he wears his hair tie with his ponytail, the new boy seems super cool. So I've gotta up my game."

Clare: "I hear ya, and you only get one chance to make a good first impression, if you blow this you'll have to wait for another boy to move to town, and who knows when that'll be."

Linka: "Thank you for that added pressure."

Clare: "Don't mention it! So what's the plan?"

Linka: "I'm gonna catch him on the bus this morning so I can have some 1 on 1 time with him."

Clare: "Good thinking! You need a wing-woman?"

Linka: "Thanks, but there are some things a woman must do alone."

Clare: "I get that, I said the same thing to my moms the first time I used a public restroom. Good luck buddy!"*Gets off walkie-talkie. *

Linka: *gets off walkie-talkie. * "And now I have just one less obstacle, to get out of the house before my brothers figure out what I'm up to." *tries to sneak out of the house but fails. *

Brothers: *Off-screen* "Hold it!"

Linka: "Hey, morning' gents."

Levi: "Did you really think we wouldn't notice that you're dressed like a stereotypical Hollywood representation of a 1950's greaser?"

Linka: "This is gel, not grease, and besides can't a girl wear something different to school for a change?"

Lane: "Not in this house."

Luke: "Now, what's the sitch, sis?"

Linka: "There is no sitch!"

Clare: *on the walkie-talkie. * "Linka? Come in! I thought of some topics for you to discuss with the new boy."

Brothers: *Excited* "New boy?!"

Clare: "Like corn nuts, are they corn, or are they nuts? Discuss!"

Linka: *on the walkie talkie.* "Not now, Clare, I've gotta call you back." *turns off walkie talkie.*

Loki: "So you thought you'd impress the new boy by wearing this?"

Linka: "No, no no no no! I don't need your help. I've got it all planned out."*backs up and runs into Lexx. *

Lexx: "Linka."

Linka: "No, I'm sure you have your own plan and want to tell me what to do. But the last time I took your advice I got a black eye." [Flashbacks to "genderbent Heavy Meddle", where Linka steps outside, marches up towards Ronnie Andy, and gives him a kiss.]

Brothers: *sweetly* “Aww!”

[However, he then responds to this by punching Linka in the face.]

Brothers: *concerned* “Ooh!”

[The flashback then ends.]

Loni: "But, Linka!"

Linka: "No, I've only got one chance to make a good first impression, and I want to do it my way!"

Brothers: "Linka!"

Linka: *Points the other way* "Look, free pizza!"

[Her brothers turn in that direction and Linka runs off into the forest where there is a rabbit hole.]

Linka: "Whew! Hope I didn't stink up the jacket. I'll hide here until the bus comes." [A bunny hops up to Linka.] "Hey there, little girl." [The bunny twitches her nose towards Linka, then numerous male bunnies join their sister; Linka counts the rabbits.] 23, 24, 25! *To the audience* "Man, that's a lot of brothers, I can't even imagine what that would be like."

Lynn: *Off-screen* "Hey Linka!"

[Linka gets scared by this and jumps up, hitting a branch causing her to fall unconscious.]

[Linka, now as a rabbit named Warna, sneaks up to the door, only to fail once again.]

Rabbit Brothers: *Off-Screen* "Hold it!"

Warna: "Hey, morning' gents."

Bishop: "Why are you dressed like a hoodlum from the wrong side of the forest?"

Broly: "Yeah, what's the sitch?"

Warna: "There is no sitch!"

Dana: *on the walkie talkie.* "Warna, I 've come up with some topics for you to discuss with the new boy."

Rabbit Brothers: "New Boy?!"

Dana: *on the walkie talkie. * "Butter lettuce. Is it butter, or is it lettuce? Discuss!"

Warna: "Dana, I'll call you back." *turns off walkie talkie. *

Boris: "Tell us everything about him."

Warna: "There's nothing to tell, Boris. It's a just a new boy at school."

Brenden: "I hate him already."

Warna: "You don't even know him, Brenden."

Baby: "Neither do you, that's why we're helping. Ohhh, I love matchmaking!"

Brad: "What's the use? Life's just an endless stretch of misery. Occasionally brightened by despair."

Blu: "I think your Chakras need some like realignment, Brad."

Bob: *Paints a picture* "Look guys, I captured the moment in oils, I call it "Portrait of a clueless girl being saved by her brothers"."

Warna: *Pushes her brothers back* "Guys, I don't need your help!"

[Warna gets a text from Bryan saying "YES YOU DO!"]

Warna: "No, I don't, Bryan!"

Bishop: "Yes, you do, by my calculations, the chances of you successfully courting said the new girl without our help are an abysmal 25 to 1."

Warren: "Yeah, I'm quite used to those odds."

Brooker: *panicking* "But what if your plan doesn't work?! What if you ruined your chance to make a good first impression?! What if you grow old and alone?! What if I grow old and alone?! What if the world ends tomorrow?! What if..." *Interrupted by Warna. *

Warna: "Guys, I'm running out of time! Now if you excuse me, I'm leaving."

Broly: "Oh yeah, mate? And just 'ow do you plan on gettin' past the 25 of us?"

Warna: "Well, I plan to... Run!"

Boris: "Get her!"

Bowie: "This calls for some chase music!"

Buddy: *Checks his list* "I didn't have this on my to-do list for the day, but what the heck?"

Brock: "Warna, you stop running this instant or I'm telling Dad!"

Warna: "Look! Shiny object!"

Brandy: *confused* "Oooo where? Huh?"

[Boris tries to grab Warna, but misses.]

Boris: "Grab her, Barry!"

Barry: "Huh, what?" *snoring*

[Billy blows his whistle.]'

Billy: "Ugh! Beth, get in the game!"

Barry: "Go..." *Falls back to sleep on the couch. *

[Warna heads for the door, when suddenly...]

Bane: "Yee-haw! Rope them doggies!"

[He swings his rope, catches Warna before she could escape and hog-ties her.]

Bee: "Gotcha!" *Starts to lift her up. *

Warna: "Put me down, Bee!"

[Bee carries Warna back and drops her on the floor.]

Bart: "What a hare-rasing development!" *Laughs* "Get it?"

[The rabbit brothers groan.]

Bing: "Oh, Warna honey, you got it all wrong."

Barney: "Totes."

Remaining Brothers: "Yes!"

[Barney removes Warna’s sunglasses.]

Warna: "Give me those back, I need to look cool."

Bing: "Please, boys don't want a cool girl. Warna, what boys really want is a sensitive girl."

Barney: *Removes jacket a shows and lavender shirt. * "Ditch the leather and go with lavender." *Helps Warna up* "It's a much better match for your fur tones." [Boris starts pushing Warna to the door.]

Blaze: *Gives Warren books* "Read him a poem."

Brain: *Gives Warna a smoothie* "Offer to share a healthy and deliver kelp smoothie."

Blanket: *Gives Warna medicine* "But check his allergies first."

Bruno: *Gives Warren a rabbit's foot* "Keep this rabbit's foot for luck."

Brothers: *Disgusted* "Eww!"

Barney: "Compliment his clothes."

Baby: "Compliment his eyes."

Warna: "But wha-"

Bing: "Be kind."

Warna: "But-"

Brad: "Be romantic."

Warna: "But what if-"

Blu: "Be present."

Warna: "But-"

Boris: "Now go." [Boris shoves Warna out the door and closes it. Warna sighs and walks off.]

[Warna nervously sits down on a stump, looks around, and sees the new boy, she nervously walks up to him.]

Warna: "Hey, hi, *offers a handshake* you're new to Royal Woods aren't you?" *takes her hand back before the new boy can shake it. * "I've been watching you for days."

New Boy: *Creeped out* "Uh, what?"

Warna: "I, I mean, I've been meaning to introduce myself." *Offers a handshake, for real this time. * "I'm Warna."

New Boy: "Oh, *actually getting to return the handshake. * nice to meet you, Warna."

Warna: "I like how big your ears are."

New Boy: *uncomfortable* "They're big?!"

Warna: "No! No, uh, you'll grow into them." [Realizing that wasn't helping, Warna gets even more nervous] "I mean, do you like poems?" *Pulls out 'The Sonnets of Shakespeare'* "Shall I compare thee to a summers day? Thou fart more lovely, *realizes what she just said* I mean thou art more." *Desperately trying to change the subject* "What do you think about butter lettuce?"

New Boy: *Not even sure how to respond to that* "You know, I just remembered, I forgot my backpack."

Warna: "Wait, wanna share a kelp smoothie?"

New Boy: *Annoyed at this point, but still trying to be nice* "Um, sure, why not?"

Warna: "Wait, before you have any, do you have any allergies? Cause I'd hate to, see you break out in puss filled blisters." *Awkwardly smiles*

New Boy: *Grossed out by that comment* "Ew, on second thought, no thanks."

Warna: "Are you sure? It's really delicious." *Drinks, and spits it out with distaste*"It tastes like manure." *Looks back at the new boy and realizes she spit it right in his face] "Sorry I'm sure I have a hanky" *pulls out the rabbit's foot, which the new boy notices* "Oh, whoops, that's not it."

New Boy: "Ew! Is that a rabbit's foot?!"

Warna: "What? No, just a fuzzy mozzarella stick." *Pulls out a handkerchief any starts wiping the new boy’s face* "Sorry, let me help you. Uh, that stain oughta come out just fine, if not, you'll have an excuse to get a new tunic." [The new boy is now offended] Orange totally clashes with your fur tones anyways.

New Boy: "What!?"

[At that moment, a rabbit wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket appears next to the new boy.]

Big Kid: "Is this creep bothering you?"

New Boy: *Egotistically* "Yes."

[Warna’s jaw drops with disbelief]

Big Kid: "Hey, lavender shirt, don't you know it ain't cool to upset a gentleman?" Warna: "I was just-"

Big Kid: *Shoves Warna* "Take a hike." [She pushes Warna to the ground and puts her arm around the new boy.] "C'mon, let's get out of here."

New Boy: "I like your leather jacket, you're so cool."

[He giggles as the two head on their way; Warna picks himself up, and sadly walks back over to the stump and sighs. Dana joins her with a popsicle.]

Dana: "So, how'd it go?" *Removes the wrapper and the popsicle and starts chewing on the stick*

Warna: "I don't wanna talk about it."

Dana: *Pats Warren's head* "Ah, you don't have to, I watched the whole thing from the bushes."

Warna: "So much for making a good first impression."

Dana: "It's okay pal, I'm sure a new bunny will move to the woods soon, well once our coyote population goes down." [Warna sighs] "I don't understand why you changed your plan, why did you dress like that, and say those things, and make horse poop smoothies?"

Warna: "Believe me, I didn't wanna change my plan, but then my brothers came along and, well, you know how they are."

Dana: *Lovingly* "I know how Boris is." *Imagines Boris is hopping through the woods in slow motion*

Warna: "Are you picturing him hopping through the woods in slo-mo again? Dana: "Whaaaat? *Pops her thought cloud* No."

Warna: *Pulls out the rabbit's foot* "A lot of good you did me."

[She tosses it away, and falls over, knocking herself out.]

[Linka wakes up.]

Linka: "Wow, what a nightmare. I was definitely right to run away from my brothers, they would have ruined everything." [She hears chattering, and looks at the bunny, whose brothers ambush her and give her a flower; Linka whispers to her.] "Don't listen to them, they'll ruin everything, they don't know what they're doing." [A brown male bunny hops up to the bunny, and almost instantly, they rub noses, the male takes the flower, and they hop along, while the brothers high four. Linka realizes that she was wrong] "Woah, maybe they do know what they're doing, *gasps and starts panic* which means maybe my brothers know what they're doing! Which means maybe their plan is better than mine! Which means maybe I should stop talking to myself because I only have five minutes to find out before the bus arrives!" *Runs back into the house and finds it empty* "Oh no! I'm too late! They're gone."[She looks out the window and sees the school bus almost heading this way] "Ah, I'm gonna miss my big chance." [She hears Loki clear his throat, turns around to see all of his brothers blankly staring at her, and gets on her knees] "Oh, thank goodness you haven't left yet. Look, I was wrong, I want your help! My plan is going to fail! Tell me your plan! Tell me what to do!"

Loki: *Trying to calm his sister down* "Linka."

Linka: *Still in panicking* "Tell me what to wear!"

Lynn: "Linka."

Linka: *Grabs Lynn by the collar* "Tell me how to act!"

Loni: "Linka."

Linka: "Tell me what to say!"

Brothers: *All grab Linka* "LINKA!" *put her down*

Linka: "What?!"

Loki: *Relieved that their sister is ready to listen* "We weren't going to tell you any of those things." *Puts his hand on Linka’s shoulder*

Linka: "What? Why? You didn't wanna change me?"

Loki: "No, we wanted to know why you changed yourself."

Linka: "I just- *Rolls up her sleeve, to reveal her tattoo* I just thought-"

Loni: "Linka, you're perfect just the way you are."

Loki: "You're kind."

Loni: "You're fashionable."

Luke: "You're Rockin'."

Lane: "You're funny."

Lynn: "You're tough."

Lars: "You're deep."

Leif and Lexx: *Hugs Linka* "You're friendly."

Levi: "You're smart."

Leon: *Crawls up to her* "You Yinka Youd."

[Linka feels touched at this and smiles at her brothers.]

Loki: "Now, give me the jacket, *Redoes Linka’s hair to its original style* and go out there, *Holds up her orange blouse* and just be you."

[Linka smiles at her brothers. This is then cut short when the bus drives past the house]

Linka: Ah, I can still make it. [She puts on her shirt and leaves the house, as she starts chasing after the bus; The driver sees her in the mirror]

Linka: Wait!

[The kids on the bus laughing as the bus stops, Linka then gets on, and the kids keep laughing at her as she heads over to the new boy]

Linka: Hello, um, my, uh, name is Linka Loud.

New Boy: Nice to meet you Linka Loud.

Linka: So, you're new to Royal Woods?

New Boy: Yeah, it's lonely being the new kid in town.

Linka: Maybe you just haven't met the right people yet.

New Boy: *Moves his backpack* Would you like to sit down? [Linka sits next to him] Um, I didn't think you were gonna catch the bus.

Linka: Yeah, *holding her shirt* Good thing I'm dressed like a caution cone, or the driver never would have seen me.

New Boy: *Laughs* You're funny Linka Loud, *offers her a carrot stick* carrot stick?

Linka: *Accepting* Thanks. *Takes a bite* Oh, by the way, what's your name?

[The bus drives on, and the two bunnies from before are seen to have been watching, they look at each other, rub noses again, and hop off on their way]

Trivia 


 * In case you’re wondering, a genderbent Heavy Middle will never happen.
 * Now you see why I don’t ship bullies with their victims? Bullies are bullies, regardless of gender.
 * Tip: Just be yourself, if you want to an impression. You don’t have to dress your self, or try to act nor look like something you’re not, it’s all an option.
 * The original was written by Chris Savino.
 * Please support the official release.