User blog:Thomperfan/Tripped! (my version)

And this is the other my version I wanted to get out. I hope you enjoy it as well.

Act 1

(It starts out during daytime in the Loud House, in Rita and Lynn Sr.’s room, where we see Lincoln, his sisters and Rita seeing Lynn Sr. putting money in the plastic jug.)

Loud Sisters, Rita, and Lincoln: 1,797, 1,798, 1,799...1,800!

Lynn Sr.: There it is, gang! 1,800 smack-eronis of the savings jug! And you know what that means!

Loud Family: [singing while in a conga line that carries throughout the house] 🎝We're going on Vacation! We're going on Vacation! We're going on Vacation!🎝

(Just then I come through the front door.)

Me: Hey, guys! (notice they’re not in the living room) Uh, guys? Guys? (Just then I hear them singing) Hm, they must be in the kitchen. (I head into the kitchen and see my friends congaing. I go up to them.) Uh, hey guys.

Lincoln: (notices me) Oh, hey Nolan!

Me: Um, what’s with the conga line?

Lincoln: I am so glad you asked! This is a big moment for the Louds!

Me: (gasps) Wait, don’t tell me! You guys got free pizza for life!

Lincoln: Um… No. Though, that would be awesome.

Me: Um… You guys got free Burpin Burgers for life!

Lincoln: Again, cool, but no.

Me: You guys won a million dollars?

Lincoln: Nope.

Me: Your relatives are visiting?

Lincoln: No. The truth is… We’re finally taking a real family vacation! Not an overnight at Aunt Ruth’s, or campout in the church parking lot, a vacation vacation!

Me: What?! Oh my god! That is so cool! Congratulations, buddy!

Lincoln: Thank you, Noah. But getting here wasn’t easy.

[Flashback to Lana on the lemonade stand, and Lola standing on the barrel box.]

Lincoln: [narrating] "In a family this big, a vacation costs a lot of money."

Lola: [on a megaphone] "Line up for lemonade!"

Lincoln: [narrating] "So we all had to do our part."

Woman: [walks by] "Oh, no thank you."

Lola: [goes after her] "I said... [on the megaphone again] ...line, up, for, LEMONADE!!!"

Woman: [runs back, scared] "I'll take 5."

[She holds up her money and Lana makes 5 cups of lemonade. Lana and Lola put their contribution into the jug. Another flashback shows Luna playing her guitar.]

Luna: [singing] 🎵 So many places I wanna go, but I'd never get anywhere, without some dough!🎵

Mr. Grouse: "Hey, Loud! I'll pay ya just to stop making that horrible racket!"

Luna: [puts her guitar away] "Whatever works, dude. Vacation, all I ever wanted."

[Luna puts her contribution into the jug. Another flashback. At the IT offices, there's a line of food trucks. Lori is shown to be in a food truck named "Rock Taco", taking orders.]

Lori: "Got it. Dad, I need 3 more Lynn-sagnas, two with extra sauce."

[Lynn Sr. is shown to be in the kitchen, making the orders. However, he's pretty packed up.]

Lynn Sr.: [overworked] "Honey, please discourage special orders! I'm backed up in here!"

[Lori and Lynn Sr. dump their contribution into the jug, Lynn Sr. notices something]

Lynn Sr.: "Oops! That was a mushroom."

[Another flashback. It's 8:31 PM at Rita's dentist and Rita is working on the woman from the lemonade stand's teeth. She gets tired and falls asleep]

Woman: "Hey!" [wakes Rita up with a water tool]

Rita: [wakes up] "Oh! Sorry! I've been working a lot of overtime lately."

[Rita puts her contribution in the jug. She notices something]

Rita: "Whoops! That was a molar."

[Another flashback shows Leni running a fashion advice stand and is giving advice to Jancey Yates]

Leni: "Cinch that with a belt!"

[Jancey puts a coin in Leni's cup, and walks away, while the woman from the lemonade stand, and the dentist office walks up.]

Leni: "Live on the edge with a polka-dot skirt."

[She puts a coin in Leni's cup and walks away.]

Leni: [clearly disgusted by her next customer] Ugh, no, no. What did I tell you about wearing sock with sandals?"

[It's revealed that the customer is Mr. Grouse, who's wearing red shorts, and socks with sandals.]

Mr. Grouse: [sighs as he puts a bunch of coins in Leni's cup] "Oh, only if they're colorful or ironic."

[Leni puts her contribution in the jug. Another flashback shows Lynn on a snowy winter day knocking on someone's door carrying a snow shovel.]

Lynn: "All done, Mrs. Parker!" [It reveals that Lynn shoveled Mrs. Parker's walkway and the walkway next to it.] "I also do furniture moving and jar opening. Keep it in mind."

Mrs. Parker: "Oh, it's my lucky day! I dropped a jar of pickles under the sofa."

[Lynn puts her contribution in the jug. Another flashback shows Luan entertaining at a child's birthday party as a clown. She rolls up her sleeves and pulls out a penny from behind a boy's ear, then another one, then several more after that and the children cheer. She later puts her contribution in the jug out of her ear. Another flashback shows Lucy serving a funeral with four little kids in a bathroom.]

Lucy: "Dearly beloved, we gather today to say goodbye to Dorothy. She lived life to the fullest, whether she was swimming around in her castle, blowing bubbles, or eating rocks. Turns out that last part wasn't the best idea." [flushes Dorothy down the toilet and hands a little girl a tissue]

Little Girl: "Thank you. That was a beautiful service." [gives Lucy a sack of cash]

[Lucy puts her contribution in the jug. Another flashback shows Lincoln delivering newspapers, he throws one and it hits the top of a car, which triggers the alarm to go off. He throws another one and it scares a cat, who dives into the bushes, and crashes through a window. Lincoln puts his contribution in the jug, and then realizes his pockets are empty. Another flashback shows Lily as a DJ and Lisa breakdancing at the Royal Woods Mall. Scoots comes by and tosses a few coins.]

Scoots: Slay all day, girl! Woo!

[Lisa and Lily put their contribution in the jug. End of flashbacks as it cuts back to outside the Loud House]

Lincoln: "Thanks to all our hard work, we saved enough money for a week at the Weeping Willow Resort & Lodge on Lake Michigan! We're talking bumper boats, horseback riding, and 26 flavors of fudge!"

Me: (gasps) That sounds awesome!!

Lincoln: I know, right?! [catches up with his family who are still doing the conga.]

Me: (to the viewers) Wow, this is so cool! I wanna go with them! I’m gonna go ask my mom if I can go right now! (I rush back to my house as the Louds keep congaing)

Loud Family: "♫ We're going on vacation! We're going on vacation! We're going- ♫"

Mr. Grouse: [offscreen] "Hey, Louds! I'll pay you again to knock off that racket!"

Lynn: "We already have enough money!"

Luna: [nudges Lynn] "Hello? Road snacks?"

(Cuts to my mom working on her computer when suddenly I bound in, clearly excited.)

Me: (excited and talking fast) Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! I need to ask you something!

Mom: (sighs) Oh boy. OK, sweetie, calm down! What is it you want to tell me?

Me: Ok, the Loud Family is taking a vacation.

Mom: Oh, that’s very nice.

Me: And, I was wondering… Can I go with them?

Mom: What?

Me: Can I go with the Louds on vacation?

Mom: Hm, I don’t know. Did they ask you if you’d like to come?

Me: Well… no, not yet. But, they’re my best friends! I’m sure they’d love to have me come along. And if they don’t, then I’ll just come back. No questions asked.

Mom: Hm, are you absolutely sure you want to go with them?

Me: Mom, they’re going to Weeping Willow Resort & Lodge on Lake Michigan! It has bumper boats, horseback riding, and 26 fudge flavors! Yes, I’m absolutely sure I wanna go!

Mom: Well…

Me: Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?

Mom: (after thinking for a minute) OK, you can go.

Me: (ecstatic) YES! This is gonna be awesome! I’m gonna go start packing, right now! (I speed up the stairs to start packing)

Mom: (Sigh) Yep, that’s my boy.

THE NEXT DAY

(I’m coming out of the door to my house. I’ve got my backpack and a suitcase on wheels. My mom comes out with me.)

Mom: OK, honey. Are you sure you’ve got everything you want/need?

Me: Yep. I’ve got all my necessities in my suitcase, and all my pleasure stuff in my backpack.)

Mom: And you have your phone with you so you can contact me if anything goes wrong?

Me: Uh-huh. (I hold up my phone.)

Mom: OK, one last thing. (She holds out my lunchbox.) I packed you a lunch, and some snacks. They should last you the trip, but don’t eat them until you get on the road.

Me: Don’t worry, mom. I know how the LKs can be. I’ll have to be discreet about it.

Mom: OK. But are you really sure you’ll be able to handle this? I mean, you’ve never been on a trip without us before.

Me: Mom, I know the Loud Family can be crazy, but they’re also kind, helpful and loyal. As long as I’m with them. I’ll be in good hands.

Mom: (sighs) OK.

(The 2 of us hug and Mom kisses me on the cheek)

Me: OK, I’d better go. (I run off to the Loud House) See you guys in a week! Or later today!

[Cuts to the Loud House; Lynn Sr. putting suitcases on top of Vanzilla]

Rita: [Walking out with her things] Let's see, work's taken care of, Mr. Grouse is keeping an eye on the house, Clyde and the McBrides are taking care of Walt, Geo, Charles, and Cliff.

Lynn Sr.: [singing] Just a few more things and we'll all be relaxing in the-

[He and Rita head inside, while the siblings, minus Lily, come outside with their luggage, Lucy is dragging a coffin.]

Lola: [To Lucy] Why are you bringing that on vacation?

Lucy: You have your sunblock, I have mine.

Lynn Sr.: [coming back out with another bag] Whoa, guys, this is too much stuff! Something's gotta go back!

Luna: [Kicks Lynn Sr.'s bag] How 'bout this bag?

Lynn Sr.: Absolutely not! That bag's very important!

[The bag opens up to reveal a bunch of jigsaw puzzles.]

Lola: Puzzles?

Lynn Sr.: The bag stays!

[The kids start complaining just as Lisa walks out and whistles to get them to stop.]

Lisa: Enough! Stand back and let me work.

[Cuts to later, showing that Lisa has found a space for every piece of luggage in/on Vanzilla. The family, minus Lily, is impressed.]

Lucy: [to Lisa] How did you do that?

Lisa: Quite simple, really, I merely used a formula combining elements of spatial analysis, and the basic physics theorem stating that for every object-[realizes her family has gotten in Vanzilla; deadpanned] Don't ask if you don't really want to know.

Lynn Sr.: [from inside] Sorry kiddo, we should get a move-on. According to reviews, the hotel has very strict check-in policy. If we're not there by 8:00, they could give away our rooms!

Lana: [Just as Lynn Sr. starts the car] WAIT! [Opens the door and whistles. In Lola and Lana's room, Hops, El Diablo and Bitey hear and head out through the doggy door. As they enter Vanzilla, El Diablo and Bitey go under the seat, while Hops jumps into Lana's pocket. She closes the door.]

Lynn Sr.: Okay, here we go! Loud Vacation time! Can I get a "What? What?"

Loud Family: [as the the car pulls out of the driveway] What? What?

Rita: WAIT! [Lynn Sr. stops the car as she gets out] I forgot Lily's diapers! [goes back inside and comes out looking sheepish] Turns out I also forgot Lily! [reveals she has Lily, who looks annoyed]

Lily: [annoyed as Rita puts her in her seat] Poo-Poo!

(Lynn Sr. starts the car, but just before the Loud Family can head out, I come running up.)

Me: GUYS! WAAAAAAAAAIT! (I trip over a rock and stumble next to Vanzilla. I land on my back.)

Lynn Sr.: (surprised) Nolan?! Is that you?!

[The rest of the family peeks out]

Me: Yep, it’s me alright.

Leni: Noey, what are you doing here?

Lincoln: Yeah, and why do you have suitcase with you?

Me: Isn’t it obvious? I’m coming with you!

Lola: What do you mean “Coming with us”?

Rita: You mean you’re coming with us on our vacation? Uh, I don’t know, honey. Do your parents know about this?

Me: Yep! I asked them and they said I could go with you!

Rita: Well... Oh, what the heck! I'm sure we can fit just one more person into our vacation.

Lynn Sr.: What she said! Come on in!

Me: Yay!

Lori: Are you sure guys? I mean, it’s not that I don’t want Nolan to come too, but I think fourteen people would be a bit much.

Lynn Sr.: Come on! What's one more person gonna hurt?

Lincoln: Dad, I think Lori may have a point. I mean, where is he gonna sit?

Me: Oh, I know! I can sit in the trunk!

Leni: Are you sure Noey? You won’t be uncomfortable, will you?

Me: Don’t worry, I have experience with tight, enclosed spaces I’ll be fine.

(Cuts to me in the trunk with the rest of the bags, I have my backpack with me.)

Me: You know, this is way better, than I thought it was gonna be.

Lynn Sr.: Okay, now that we’re all here, let’s get this show on the road!

[Lynn Sr. starts the car and the family and I head off.]

Loud Family and I: [singing] "♫ We're going on Vacation! We're going on vacation! ♫"

[The Louds and I exit Franklin Avenue and head up to the Royal Woods Parkway; Cuts to me in the trunk, getting my phone out, I turn it on, go to the camera setting, and start recording.]

Me: (to the camera) Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Hi, Sophia! This is Nolan coming to you live from the trunk of Vanzilla. Me and the Loud Family are just starting our epic journey to Weeping Willows Resort and Lodge. And so far, everything’s going well. I mean, Rita almost left Lily back at the house, but other than that everything is going well.

Lori: (noticing me) Nolan, what are you doing?

Me: Oh, I figured since my parents are gonna wanna know what happened to me during this road trip, I could record a video of everything that happens, and show it to them when we get back home.

Lori: Oh. Nice idea.

Me: Oh, that reminds me. (to the Loud Family) Everyone, say hi to my parents and sister! (The Loud Family all says “hi” to the camera.) As I said so far, nothing bad has happened. But, I will let you guys know if anything interesting happens. (I turn the camera off.)

[Later on the road, an old style horn honks and shows to be a red truck with a farmer driving in it right behind the Louds and I]

Lynn: "Don't let that old geezer pass us, Dad! Floor it!"

Lynn Sr.: "Well, it's- It is floored!" [the truck passes them] "It's been floored the whole time!" [mumbling] "Dang show off in his hot rod."

[We finally make it up the hill.]

Lynn: Look! [It shows that the truck is already going down.] Come on, Dad! Let's get our dignity back!

Lynn Sr.: I'm right there with ya, LJ!

[Vanzilla starts overtaking the truck, as Lynn starts shouting "pass".]

Lisa: Father, this is not advisable! Factoring in the angle of our decent, current wind speed, and the condition of this aging heap. I fear we are going to wind up-

[Before she can finish her sentence, Lynn Sr. loses control of Vanzilla and crashes into a fence. The family and I are outside, surveying the damage.]

Lisa: -Nose-first in a ditch.

[The bumper to Vanzilla falls off.]

Lynn Sr.: [gasps and hugs Vanzilla, while crying] My baby! What have I done?!

Me: (taking out my phone and turning on the camera) Hey, guys. Heh heh, something happened. Mr. Lynn was trying to beat this guy in a truck but he went a little too fast and crashed Vanzilla into a fence, and also a ditch. (I show the crashed van and the bumper on the ground) As you can see the damage is pretty severe.

Lana: Stand back and let me work.

[Cuts to later, showing that Lana has gotten Vanzilla out of the ditch and repaired it.]

Rita: [impressed] Wow! Nice job, sweetie! How did you do that?

Lana: Eh, it was no biggie. There was a crack in the cylinder block, so I just re-routed the exhaust manifold pass the carburetor, and then-[realizes her family and I have gotten in Vanzilla; deadpanned] Don't ask if you don't really want to know.

[Lynn Sr. is about to start the car, when suddenly...]

Rita: Wait! [Gets out and gets Lily, who looks annoyed and gets back in Vanzilla.] Okay, now we can go.

[The red truck passes by them.]

Lynn and Lynn Sr.: Dang it.

[Later, the Louds are still driving and the weather starts to get a little heated out here]

Leni: "Oh, it's so hot. Dad, can you turn on the AC before my hair totally frizzes?"

Me: (coming up from the luggage) Yeah, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but it is pretty hot out here. Some air conditioning would be nice.

[Lynn Sr. presses the button to the AC, which seems to be fluttering and then stops working. He presses the button twice after that]

Lynn Sr.: "Huh. Doesn't seem to be working."

Lana: "Ugh, the coolant must've leaked when we crashed." [pulls out her toolbox] "Pull over, Pops. I'll check it out."

Lynn Sr.: "No can do. Remember, 8:00 check in."

Me: "Oh, I know! Maybe we can just roll down a window!"

Lynn Sr.: "Sorry, kiddo, but if we roll any of these windows down, they're not coming back up."

Rita: "I know it's hot, but just pretend you're at the beach."

Leni: "In this? Ugh, no!"

Me: Uh, don’t worry, Leni. I can cool you off!

Leni: (gasps) You have air conditioning?!

Me: Um, no, but I can do this! (I wave my arms in front of Leni like a fan) Is it working?

Leni: Oh, actually, yes, it is! Keep going. Faster! Faster!

Me: (Rapidly wave me my arms and panting) Leni, I’m going as fast as I can!

[The siblings see Lori snacking on some bean chips]

Lori: "Anyone want a low-cal bean chip?"

Lucy: "Vomit."

Me: Yeah, I’m not really much of a chip person, Lori.

Lori: "They're delicious. And supes high fiber." [Farts]

Lisa: "Yes, apparently."

Lori: "It was the seat! See?"

[Gas scent comes out of Lori's seat.]

Siblings, except Lori and I: [Groan in disgust]

Lori: "Now it's not doing it."

[The gas scent goes all over Vanzilla. Lincoln and Lucy groan in disgust]

Luan: "Suffocating!"

Lola: [Coughs] "Ack!"

Lynn Sr.: "Be strong, kids! No windows!" [Gas scent goes into the front seat] "Oh, it's in my mouth!"

[Lynn Sr. opens up the windows and everyone exhales deeply, except Lori, who blushes in embarrassment.]

Me: Lori, I think you may wanna stop eating those bean chips. They’re giving you issues.

Lori: (pushes me back into the trunk) Shut up!

Lynn Sr.: This is better!

Rita: What?! [Lets go of the map and it lands in Lynn Sr.'s face. He screams in panic, and so does the family as they swerve off the road and crash into a section of porta-potties, which topple over like dominoes, and one of the doors to Vanzilla falls off.]

Lynn Sr.: [taking a few deep breaths.] Is everyone okay?

Person: [In one of the porta-potties] I've been better!

[Lynn Sr. looks concerned as Lana jumps out and examines the broken door.]

Lana: The good news is, the crash made the windows go back up. The bad news is, now we have no door. No way I can re-attach this baby. [looks up] But I may have a solution.

[Cuts to later, showing that Lana has used Lucy's coffin as a serviceable door.]

Me: (getting out my phone camera) Hey, mom! Check this out! (I Show Vanzilla) Lana used her handywoman skills to make a new door for Vanzilla! Isn’t it cool?

Luan: Nice fix, but we've still got a grave situation! [laughs] Get it? [realizes her family and I have gotten in Vanzilla; frustrated] What? Don't set me up if you don't wanna hear a joke!

[As Luan gets in, Lynn Sr. starts Vanzilla, when suddenly...]

Rita: Wait! [reveals that Lily is on top of Vanzilla, looking annoyed. Rita reaches her arms out and gets her down.]

Lily: [annoyed] Ah!

[The family gets back on the road.]

Rita: "Who's ready for lunch?"

Siblings: "Me! Me! Me! Me!"

Rita: "Honey, let's start looking for a good picnic spot."

Lynn Sr.: "No time! We're behind schedule. We'll have to eat in the car."

Lynn: [Finds sandwiches inside a basket] "I got this! Sammies coming your way! Think fast!" [throws them to her other siblings]

Lola: [Gets hit by sandwich] "Watch it!" [Eats sandwich]

Lori: [Gets hit by sandwich] "Ow!" [Eats sandwich]

Luna: [Gets hit by sandwich] "Not so hard, dude!" [Eats sandwich]

Lincoln: [Misses sandwich] "I can't catch!"

Lynn: Nolan, heads up! Sandwich coming at you!

Me: Uh, no thanks, Lynn. I’m not really that hungry, right now.

Lynn: Oh, well, when you do get that hungry, just let me know and I’ll hook you up!

[The kids and parents have finished eating their sandwiches. Rita crumbles up her wrapper]

Rita: "Those egg salad sandwiches were delicious, honey. Thanks for making them."

Leni: "You're totes welcome, Mom."

Lynn: "Trash back here" [Luan, Lisa and Lincoln try to throw the wrappers in the bag]

Luan: "Whoops."

Lisa: "Sorry."

Lincoln: "I can't throw, either."

Lynn: [Gives them a thumbs down] "Weak!"

[Luna's stomach growls. Her face turns green and starts to feel nauseous. She takes her headphones off.]

Luna: "Whoa, guys, are you feeling alright? I'm not feeling too good myself."

[The other siblings get nauseous as well, except Leni and Lily.]

Lori: "Leni, what exactly did you put in those sandwiches?"

Leni: "I can't remember. I made them weeks ago."

Lincoln: "Leni!"

Lucy: "What?"

Luan: "That can't be good."

Leni: "Well, I was so excited for the trip that I wanted to get a head start!"

Siblings: [Groaning]

Me: (facepalming; to myself) That’s just like Leni.

Lincoln: "Uh-oh. I think I'm gonna barf."

Lisa: "I second that!"

Luna: "Puke fest!"

Lori: "Pull over, Dad!"

Lynn Sr.: "No time! Use a bag!"

Rita: "Lynn!"

Lynn Sr.: "Ok, ok!" [Stops the van on the gas station.] Nolan, stay in here, we shouldn’t be that long.

[The Loud Family starts puking in the bathrooms and outside the bathrooms. Leni is too occupied looking at the window, and so is Lily, so I sink down into the luggage of the trunk and take out my camera]

Me: (whispering) I just dodged a huge bullet. Leni made egg-salad sandwiches for us to eat, but they were weeks old. It caused the other Louds to throw up, but I didn’t take one. They shouldn’t be done for at least an hour, so, I might as well take advantage of this moment and eat the lunch you made for me before anyone finds out.

(I do just that. Cuts the all of the Louds back in Vanzilla. I’ve just finished my lunch before anyone found out.)

Lori: "Leni, you're off lunch duty until further notice."

Lisa: "Yeah, let's just round that up to 'forever'."

[The family and I leave the gas station as a car carrier passes them in the opposite direction. We notice the farmer from earlier have a flat-tire on his truck]

Lynn: "Ha, ha! Check out Farmer Speedy! Not doing much passing now, are you?"

Rita: [to Lynn; sternly] "Lynn, that's not very kind." [to Lynn Sr.] "Honey, we should help him."

Lynn Sr.: [sighs] "Okay. But only if it takes less than ten minutes!"

[Lynn Sr. stops the van and the family and I get out. Lynn Sr. also failed to notice that he accidentally kicked the gear shift into reverse and Vanzilla starts rolling backwards, unnoticed by the Louds and I]

Lana: "Need a hand with that flat, buddy?"

Farmer: "Oh, that'd be swell. The spare is buried under all these crates." [takes out a crate]

Lana: [takes the crate] "Not a problem. Louds, and Noah, assemble!"

[The 13 of us gather around Lana and she gives the crate to Lincoln. Lana jumps into the back and the siblings and I are passing the crates around and putting them in a pile while the parents are having a conversation with the farmer. Meanwhile, Vanzilla seems to have roll backward onto the car carrier, which has parked on the gas station. Hops, El Diablo, and Bitey pop up; Back with the Louds...]

Lana: "Last one!" [gives the last crate to Lisa. She grabs the spare tire, hops out the truck, and gets out a scissor jack to position where the tire should go.] "Huh, I haven't worked one of these babies before." [to the farmer] "1920?"

Farmer: "'21."

Lana: "12 banger?"

Farmer: "16."

Lana: "Ha, ha. Nice."

[Meanwhile, the car carrier driver comes out the restrooms and gets in as the horn blares. Back with the Louds, Lana has finished putting the spare tire on while the siblings finish putting all the crates back onto the truck.]

Lana: "There. This should get you where you need to go. But keep it under 50." [puts her wrench back in her toolbox]

Farmer: [tips his hat] "Much obliged for all your help, folks. Wish I could repay you in a bigger way, but... [gives a crate to Lynn Sr.] ...how about you take some of my cherries for the road."

[The twins and I grab a couple cherries and taste them]

Lola: [gasps] "These are delicious!"

Farmer: "It's all about using the right manure."

Lola: [notices what the farmer meant and spits them out] "Blegh!"

Me: (still eating) I don’t care. They still taste great.

Lana: "Yes. I'm picking up some...horse notes."

Farmer: [in his truck] "You have a nice day now." [drives off as the family and I wave goodbye]

Lynn Sr.: "Okay, gang. Let's get back on the road."

[The family and I notice that Vanzilla is not there]

Rita: [gasps] "Where's Vanzilla?!"

[Rita's question has been answered when we see Vanzilla on the car carrier and is driving off past us. We scream in horror and run off after the car carrier.]

Lynn Sr.: "Ah, you can't take my girl!"

[The family and I are shouting at the driver to stop]

Luan: "No! That's our car!"

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Well, there goes our vacation."

[End of Act 1]

Act 2

[With our mode of transportation gone, the Loud Family and I are sitting on a curb near the gas station where we used the bathroom.]

Me: (turning on my phone camera) Hey, mom. Hey, dad. Well, things have certainly taken a sour turn. We helped a guy fix his car, but we weren’t paying attention to Vanzilla, and it got taken away by a car carrier. So now, we’re just waiting to see if we can get Vanzilla back. (I pan the camera over to the Loud Family) Say hi, guys. (The Loud Family glumly says hi to the camera) OK, don’t worry. I’ll update you, once find a solution to this problem. (I turn it off.)

Lynn Sr.: (after hanging up the pay phone) "Okay, guys. I called the cops and they're gonna try to track down Vanzilla."

Lincoln: "I can't believe we're gonna miss out on the bumper boats."

Lori: "And the horseback riding."

Lola: "And the fudge! [Whines] Oh, the fudge!"

Lynn Sr.: "Hang on. Our vacation's not over yet. We just need to find a way to get to the hotel."

Lynn: "Boom! There's a bus station right down the street!"

[The family gets up and cheers as they head to the bus station]

Lincoln: "Alright!"

Lori: "We can still do this."

Rita: [realizing something] "Oh, wait. I just remembered... [to Lynn Sr.] ...your wallet and my purse are both in Vanzilla."

[Lynn Sr. looks over Rita's shoulder and sees a place called The Mud Flap Café. It looks like they are having an open mic contest, and the winner gets a cash prize.]

Lynn Sr.: "'Open mic contest?'"[gets an idea] "We'll just to have raise some cash. And Ol' Ding-a-ling Loud has a plan."

Lisa: "Now, Father, don't be so hard on yourself. Anyone could've lost the van."

Lynn Sr.: What I meant was, Ding-a-ling as in [pulls out his cowbell] My cowbell! [starts playing it.]

Lisa: Ah.

Lola: [as Lynn Sr. plays his cowbell] So, he doesn't have his wallet, but he has his cowbell?

Lisa: So both definitions of "Ding-a-ling" apply.

Me: (getting out my camera) OK, guys, we found a solution! They’re doing an open mic contest at this place called the mud flap cafe, and the winner gets a cash prize. So we’re gonna perform a song, and hopefully we’ll get enough money for a bus ticket!

[Cut to outside shot of The Mud Flap Cafe]

Waiter: "The Mud Flap Cafe is pleased to present... the Load family."

Lola: "Loud!"

Waiter: [Thinking Lola means him] "The Load family!"

[cuts to the Louds and I on stage.]

Lynn Sr.: [singing] ''♫ Wanted a family vacation. Just to get out of town. Had it all planned, packed up the van, ended up in a ditch somehow! We've got the blues, baby! Those road trippin' blues! ♫''

Lori, Leni, Luan, Lana, Lola and Lisa: [singing] ''♫ Bad, bad news. ♫''

All: [singing] ''♫ These seats smell weird, the baby is crying. She's probably mad we left her behind. ♫''

All: [singing] ''♫ Road, road trippin' blues. ♫''

Lynn Sr.: [singing] ♫ AC broke in Vanzilla ♫

Lynn: [singing] ''♫ The windows won't roll down. ♫''

Leni: [singing] ''♫ The bean chips of doom. ♫''

Luan: [choking] They spread noxious fumes!

Rita: [also choking] Can't breathe! [faints]

Lincoln: I think Mom passed out.

Lynn Sr.: [singing] ''♫ We got the blues, baby. Those road trippin' blues. ♫''

Lori, Leni, Luan, Lana, Lola and Lisa: [singing] ''♫ Bad, bad news. ♫''

All: [singing] ''♫ The dog ran off, the baby's still crying. At least we didn't forget her this time. ♫''

Lynn Sr.: [singing] ''♫ Road, road trippin' blues. ♫''

All: [singing] ''♫ La la la. It was one big family throw up. From the egg salad gone wrong. And that's how all of us wound up, broke on stage singing this song. ♫''

Lisa: [singing] ''♫ Broke on stage singing this song. ♫''

Lynn Sr.: [singing] ''♫ Road, road trippin' blues. ♫''

All: [singing] ''♫ Yeah. ♫''

Lynn Sr.: Yeah.

[The audience cheers at our performance and throws money around]

Luna: [picks up some cash] "Looks like we got a ticket to ride, dudes!"

[Ticket transition; The 14 of us are getting ready to head on the bus while Rita does a head count.]

Rita: "7, 8, 9, 10, 11... Dang it. Forgot Lily again."

Lily: [angrily] "Goo!"

Rita: [shows that she was holding her the whole time] "Oh. So, who are we missing?"

[Just then, an electric guitar can be heard playing inside the cafe, which could only mean one thing...]

Family and I: "Luna!" [run back inside to get her]

[At that moment, the bus we were supposed to go on leaves and another bus takes its place, unbeknownst to us.]

Bus Driver: [getting out] "Oh, gotta pee, gotta pee, gotta pee."

[Luna is still rocking out on stage when Lynn appears]

Lynn: Luna, we're gonna miss the bus! [grabs her]

Luna: [As her family and I carry her out] GOODNIGHT, MUD FLAP CAFE!!

Crowd Member: We love you Load!

[The Louds and I get inside the bus]

Lynn Sr.: "Let's save this vacation!"

Bus Driver: [gets back on the bus and looks behind him to see the Loud Family] "Oh, I just thought I was transporting one. Oh well."

[The bus drives off and it reveals that they're actually in a prison bus.]

Lincoln: "Where'd all the other passengers go?"

Lola: "Who cares? We got the bus to ourselves."

Luan: "Well, except for him."

[The 14 of us look back to see a prisoner handcuffed at the very back seat and is growling.]

Rita: "Honey, do you think there's something strange about this bus?"

Lynn Sr.: "Well, I've never seen one with shackles... [holds up a pair of handcuffs] ...but it's probably a safety thing."

Rita: "Or maybe, it's a prison thing."

Lynn Sr.: [gasps] "You're right. Which means that guy back there is..."

[Rita and Lynn Sr. look back at the prisoner in worry. Lily is patting the prisoner's face, and Lana is observing his tattoos.]

Lana: "Cool tattoos, mister. But I think your tattoo artist forgot to give this lady clothes. Don't worry... [pulls out a red marker] ...I'll fix it." [draws on his arm]

Leni: [to his right] "O.M. Gosh! I am totes obsessed with your bracelets! Can I try them on?"

Prisoner: "Uh...sure. If you can get 'em off me."

Me: (next to Leni; nervously) Um, Leni, I’m really not sure those are bracelets. You might wanna keep those on him.

Leni: Oh shush, Nolan. I know my bracelets. [she pulls out a hair pin, and unlocks the prisoner's handcuffs. Meaning he is now free.]

Lynn Sr.: "STOP THE BUS!"

[The bus driver stops and drops off the Louds in the middle of a highway. Lily sees that the prisoner opened the back door of the bus, jumps off, and land in the bushes. She giggles at this.]

Lynn Sr.: "Chins up, family. This vacation isn't over. Surely, some good Samaritan will give us a ride."

Me: (Pointing to the road) You mean like that?

Lynn Sr.: [notices a car coming] "Oh, here we are."

Woman Passenger: [nervously] "Keep going. Don't make eye contact." [The couple bury their faces in some maps as they drive by]

Lincoln: "Aw, come on!"

Lynn: "Weak!"

Lisa: "It's clear what the problem is here. No motorist is going to pick up a family of 14. I suggest we employ a technique known as "Hide the Iceberg".

Me and Leni: But we’re nowhere near ice.

Lisa: (facepalms) No, you two. It means, we put our best 10% forward, and conceal the rest."

Me and Leni: Oooooooooooh.

Me: Yeah, that makes more sense.

[Cuts to Rita and Lily standing on the side of the road, while the rest of their family is hiding in the bushes with sneaky looks on their faces. Rita holds Lily out and Lily gives a thumbs up, just as a car comes along. It's revealed there's a man, a woman and a girl in said car.]

Man in car: [concerned] "Oh, look at that poor lady and her baby! [to his wife] Pull over".

[The woman pulls over the car, just as the Loud Kids come out, screaming. The family in the car gasps, just as Lynn Sr. comes out, wailing and wearing some sort of grass outfit.]

Lynn Sr.: [jumping on the window] HI! WOULD YOU MIND PULLING OVER, PLEASE?!

[The family in the car screams and swerves. The lady pulls a lever, and the windshield wipers go off, flinging Lynn Sr. off the car. He does a few flips and lands on his stomach.]

Luan: '"Well, that was a wash." [Laughs]

Lynn Sr.: "Too soon, honey."

[The Loud Family and I sit on the ground. Lana's stomach starts acting up.]

Lana: "Excuse me, guys. I gotta lighten my load." [Walks in bushes] "Whoa! You guys have to see this!"

Rita: "Just fill up the hole, sweetie! We don't need to see it!"

Lana: "Not that. I found our ticket out of here!" [her family walks in the bushes] "Though, watch your step. I also pooped."

[The Loud Family and I look to see that Lana found an aircraft plane and is sitting on it]

Me: Wow! It’s a real airplane!

Lucy: "Pfft, that thing will never fly."

Lana: "Leave that to me." [pulls out her tools] "I'll have her up and running in no time!"

Luna: "Well, even so, who's gonna fly it?"

Luan: "How about Lori?" [Lori smiles at this suggestion] "She's been crop-dusting us all day!" [Everyone, except Lori, laughs at Luan's joke]

Lori: [offended] "Excuse me?! I told you it was the seat!"

Loud Family and I: "Riiiiiiight."

Rita: "I can fly the plane!" [hands Lily to Lynn Sr.] "Pop Pop taught me he flew jets in the military."

Lincoln: "Mom, that is so cool!"

Rita: "Oh, that's nothing. You should see me pop wheelies in a tank, baby!"

Me: (gasps) Awesomeness!

Lynn Sr.: [gasps] "Is there anything else we don't know about you, honey? Honey? Rita?"

[Cuts to the plane all fixed up with a diaper attached to it]

Lana: "Some parts were missing, so I had to improvise."

Lola: "With a diaper?"

Lana: "A night time diaper. For extra strength. I even found some paint to give ol' shakey a face lift." [The front of the plane has an angry face] "And I painted Lori on the crop-duster."

Lori: [scoffs] "It doesn't even look like me."

Me: I don’t know, Lori. As an artist myself, I have to say it does look pretty accurate.

[Lori just glares at me. Rita puts on airline goggles and starts the plane with her family and I on it]

Lynn Sr.: Uh, you sure you know what you're doing? Got our whole family in here."

[Rita stops the plane and on top of it, she notices...]

Rita: "Ah! Except Lily." [She gets her down as the rest of us glare at her] "Hey, that one is on all of you! I’m flying the plane here." [starts the plane again]

Lincoln: "Mom? You, uh...see the silo, right?"

[Rita doesn’t seem to notice, and we all start panicking, but Rita pulls up just in time and the plane flies over the silo and take to the skies. We sigh with relief.]

Me: (turning on my phone camera) Hey guys, if you couldn’t already tell, we’re flying in a plane, and Miss Rita is the one flying it! Yeah, Miss Rita can fly planes! How cool is that?! OK, gotta go! (I turn it off)

[During the flight, Lily sees something on the road]

Lily: [Points down] "Ban-zilly."

Family and I: "Aww."

Rita: "Actually, sweetie, this is an airplane."

Lily: [With a more serious tone] "Ban-zilly! Ban-zilly!"

Luna: [Looks to where Lily is pointing] "Whoa, the Chill-ster's right, dudes. Look over there!"

[The rest of us look, and see the car carrier that has our beloved Vanzilla]

Lynn Sr.: "My baby! After that car carrier!"

Lincoln: "What about our 8:00 check-in time?"

Lynn Sr.: "The way your mother flies, that shouldn't be a problem."

[The car carrier driver blows his horn at another driver on the same road]

Driver: "Move it, slowpoke! I'm behind schedule! [He goes around the driver and sees a sign] Speed limit enforced by aircraft? Yeah, I'll bet." [Through his carrier window, he sees our plane] "Dang it! If I get one more ticket, I'll be driving a golf cart!"

[The driver drives fast and goes through a corn maze]

Rita: "Pop-Pop taught me how to handle wise guys like this. Let's take it to him!" [She flies after the driver]

[On the car carrier, some of the Louds' stuff on top of Vanzilla start flying out]

Luna: [Notices her drum cymbals] "My hi-hat! Bogus!"

Lynn: [Notices her exercise equipment] "My kettlebells! Crud!"

Lynn Sr.: [Notices something] "My puzzles! Ding dang darn it!" [Instead of catching them, he ducks]

[The driver goes through a barn, causing all of the Louds' stuff to fall off and Vanzilla to lose its top half]

Lynn Sr.: [Horrified about the half broken van] "AAH! MY BABY!"

Leni: "Yay! Now it's a convertible!"

Lynn: "Man, nothing stops this guy!"

Lincoln: "Wait a minute, we have a crop-duster!"

Lori: [Still offended] "Ugh! Why are you guys always piling on me?!"

Me: Because, it’s funny!

Lori: (furious) Why you little-! (She tries to strangle me)

Lincoln: "Guys, I'm talking about the plane!"

Lori and I: [get it] "Ah."

Lincoln: "Get in front of him, Mom!"

[Rita flies the plane in front of the driver]

Lincoln: "Eat hot fertilizer!" [He turns the knob and green fog comes out of the crop-duster]

[The fog covers the driver's windshield, causing him to scream and crash into a bale of hay.]

Driver: [gets out and runs] "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME, PO-PO!"

[The family and I cheer in victory. Rita lands the plane and we rush over to the van.]

Lynn Sr.: "Okay, people. We've got a check-in to make!" [looks at Vanzilla close up] "Ah--uh, it's okay. It's just a little scratched."

[Hops, El Diablo, and Bitey pop up and are happy to see Lana again.]

Lana: [hugs them] "My babies! I thought I lost you!"

Lola: [sarcastically] "Wouldn't that have been tragic."

[Lily sees another bale of hay roll up to the plane and it reveals the prisoner from earlier. He gets on the plane and flies away. She giggles at this once again. Cuts to nighttime. The Louds and I finally make it to Weeping Willow with what's left of Vanzilla. Eventually, the tires give out.]

Me: Aw, man! What we do now?

Lynn Sr.: "It's one minute to 8:00! We're gonna have to hoof it!" [We get out and run inside the resort. Once inside Lynn S.r puts some money on the front desk] Lynn Loud Sr. checking in!

Concierge: [types on her computer and notices something] "Oh no. I'm so sorry, Mr. Loud. But you missed your check-in time, and we gave away your rooms."

Lynn Sr.: But, But, But, But it's 8:00!

Concierge: Actually, sir, [points to the clock] it's 8:35.

Lynn Sr.: [looks at his watch, only to find out it's broken] Oh, my watch stopped! How did that happen?!

[Flashback to when they were on the plane.]

Lynn Sr.: "My puzzles!"

[When he ducked, it turned out one of the suitcase's wheels managed to break his watch and he looks back. End flashback.]

Lynn Sr.: "Ah, please, can't you give us another room? We'll take anything you got!"

Concierge: [looks at the results] "I'm so sorry. The entire hotel is full."

Luan: "You don't know what we've been through."

Luna: "I've got a song about it!"

Rita: "Not now, honey."

Concierge: "I'd love to help you folks, but there's really nothing I can do."

?: "But there is something I can do."

[The Louds and I turn around and it reveals to be the farmer they helped earlier.]

Lynn: "Farmer Speedy?"

Farmer: "If it wasn't for you guys, I probably would've missed the check-in myself. So, the least I can do is help you folks out. You're staying with me."

Lola: "Well, that's sweet, mister, but we're a pretty big family. How would you have enough space for all of us?"

Farmer: "Oh, not a problem. I've got the whole top floor. Let me introduce myself, I'm Jerry Kling, the cherry king." [holds up a jar of his company-branded cherries]

Lynn Sr.: [gasps] "What? I-I cook with your cherries all the time."

Jerry Kling: "Well, come on, folks. Let me show you to your quarters."

[The Louds and I chatter in excitement]

Luan: "Aw, this was very cherry-table of you. Up until now, this vacation was the pits. [laughs]

Me: Yeah, we’re cherry grateful that you’re helping us! (laughs)

Lori: [glares] "Luan. Nolan."

Luan and I: "Okay. We'll can it. [we laugh again and high-five]

[And so the next day, the Louds enjoy our vacation at the Weeping Willow. Lori, Leni, Luan, and Lucy are riding horses, but Leni is facing the wrong way. Luna, Lynn, Lincoln, Lana, Lisa and are on tubes in the lake squirting each other with water guns, Jerry, Lola and I are snacking on some of his cherries at the dock, and Rita and Lynn Sr. are relaxing while Lily makes a sand castle.]

Lynn Sr.: "Well, honey, we made it. Our first real family vacation."

Rita: "I think we should make this a Loud family tradition."

[The couple clink their drinks together. Far away, the prisoner is still on the plane they used, celebrating his freedom.]

Prisoner: [laughs] "I'm free! Woo-hoo!"

[Just then, his celebration is cut short when the plane runs out of fuel and the engine shuts down. The plane starts to fall while the prisoner is still above the sky.]

Prisoner: "Dang it."

[He falls too and lands back in the local prison and a gate clanking shut is heard. Camera pans over to the crop-duster as well as the other parts of the plane in the trees and the crop-duster farts one last time.]

EPILOGUE

(The Louds and I are in one of the rooms on the top floor of the resort, doing our own things. I’m recording one last video on my phone.)

Me: (Talking to the phone camera) So, in the end, everything all worked out, we got the sweet room, and we’re having a great time. But, all the same, I can’t wait until we get home, so I can see you guys again. Talk to you soon. Bye! (I turn it off)

Rita: Did you finish your video yet, sweetie?

Me: (sigh) Not even close. I still have to edit all my footage, and I’m pretty sure I left out a few details.

Lincoln: Don’t worry, buddy, we can help you. Right guys?

(The rest of the Louds agree that they can help me out)

Me: Sweet! Let’s get to work!

(Cuts to a montage of the Louds re-creating the details I didn’t get to film, using paper cutouts, and I edit all the footage together in one video. Cuts to me finishing the editing process, while the Louds look on.)

Me: OK, guys. I think that should do it. We’re finished! Great job!

(We all high-five each other, and cheer.)

ONE WEEK LATER

(We’re all taking a ride a ride home in Jerry Kling’s truck. While we were at the resort, Jerry called a friend of his and took Vanzilla to be repaired. Cuts to us arriving at my house.)

Me: (Coming out with my bags) OK, guys, this is my stop. Man, that was a fun vacation.

Lincoln: I know, right?

Leni: I'm just glad I got to spend it with my family, and my dear sweet Noey! (kisses me)

Lana: Yeah, Nolan! You should totally come with us next year!

(The rest of the Loud Family clamours in agreement)

Me: (touched) Of course I'll come with you guys again. I love you all!

Loud Family: We love you too, Nolan!

(We wave goodbye to each other as the truck drives off to the Loud House. I go up to my house and knock on the door. My mom answers it.)

Mom: (gasps) Nolan, you’re back! (she hugs me) And you’re still in one piece! Oh, I missed you so much!

Me: I missed you too, mom.

(She and I go inside Sophia and Dad are home as well.)

Sophia: (noticing) Nolan’s back!

(They hug me as well)

Dad: What happened on the trip? Tell us everything!

Me: Well, okay, first, there was a-(realizes) You know what? Instead of telling you, I’m gonna show you.

(Cuts to a few minutes later, my family is gathered around me and I have my phone, which is on the video of the whole road trip I just went on.)

Me: OK, guys, here it is. The video that showcases everything that happened on the Loud Family road trip.

(I hit play and we start watching)

THE END