User blog:Thomperfan/LH episode commentaries- Get the Message (transcript)



Welcome back everyone! Now, we’re going to take a look at what does during the day in the Loud House.

So we see that Lincoln is playing a virtual reality zombie simulator, where you, twerk to stop the zombies. Yeah, that’s totally not weird at all. But in doing so, he accidentally stumbled in Lori and Leni’s room, where he found a very angry Lori Loud.

''Lori: "There's only one rule in this house: Stay out of my bedroom! If I catch you in here again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel!" [on the phone] "No, not you, Bobby." [giggles] "One sec, okay?" [kicks Lincoln out of her room.]''

Whoa, Lori, what the heck?! Seriously, that came out of nowhere. Looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. This was a seriously callous thing for Lori to do. Lincoln could not even see where he was going when he went into Lori’s room, and he didn’t break or touch anything. I mean, if he broke something important to her, I would kinda understand why Lori would snap. But she gets mad at him for just stumbling in there by accident.

So, Lincoln then decides to go play in the bathroom, when suddenly…

[There's a knock at the door.]

Lincoln: "Occupied!"

[The knocking then turns into a pounding.]

''Lincoln: "I can't believe some..." [answers door to see Lori is there.]''

Lori: [on the phone] "Bobby, you'll never guess what Whitney said to me today."

Lincoln: [rhetorically] "That you don't respect a man's privacy?"

Lori: [ignoring Lincoln and kicking him out.] "No, silly! Not even. She was all like..."

OK, Lori, that was just rude. I get that in a big family that only has one bathroom, some people really to do their business, but they should also respect when other people are doing stuff in said bathroom. OK, so far this episode has not succeeded in making me wanna root for Lori.

Lincoln goes to his room, but then remembers he forgot his gaming goggles in the bathroom. He runs to the bathroom but is then stopped by the twins, Lola and Lana, who tell him not run. When Lincoln asks them what they’re doing, they explain that they’re the new hall monitors at school and they’re practicing here.

''Lola: "If we catch you speeding again, you're going downtown! We already locked up Luan for telling bad jokes." [reveals Luan in a cardboard jail cell.]''

''Luan: "Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!" [laughs to rimshot]"Get it?"''

Lola: "That's five more minutes, dirtbag!"

Geez, these two are taking this really seriously. I mean locking Luan up for doing what she normally does? Sheesh, I’d hate to see what they’d actually do at school.

Lincoln: "Okay, okay. I'll walk within the speed limit. I swear."

Lana: "NO SWEARING!"

Uh, no Lana. He meant he promises he won’t speed. Just thought I’d clear that up.

So anyway, Lincoln goes to the bathroom, only to find out his gaming goggles are destroyed. Lincoln is distraught by this and thinks he knows who did it.

Lincoln: [enraged] "LORI! YOU DIRT BAG!"

OK, Linc, let’s not jump to conclusions, yes Lori was the last one to use the bathroom and seeing how she’s been acting so far, she would probably be the first suspect, but you weren’t there what they got broken, so let’s not make assumptions just yet.

Anyway, Lincoln still thinks Lori broke the goggles and is still really mad at her.

Clyde: [holding the goggles] "I can't believe it!"

Lincoln: "I know! She didn't even say sorry!"

''Clyde: [lovestruck] "No. I can't believe these were touched by Lori's beautiful tootsies..." [cradles the glasses]''

Oh, come on Clyde! I get that you think Lori’s hot, but your best friend just told you that she smashed his favorite gaming goggles. Wake up and smell the coffee, buddy! Lori’s not the angel you portray her as.

Lincoln then says that all Lori cares about is talking on her phone, and then says he’s going to give her a call that she’ll never forget.

Clyde: "What are you gonna say?"

[Lincoln looks in his drawer and pulls out a sheet of paper and shows it to Clyde.]

Clyde: "Why 'blank' is the worst sister ever?"

Lincoln: [evilly] "I knew this would come in handy someday. I just didn't know which sister would be getting it."

Whoa. You just had that worst sister ever letter to use on one of your sisters, I mean, I know you’d probably get pretty mad at them sometimes, but… Jesus. So Lincoln gets ready to call Lori, but she’s not answering her phone, so he decides to leave a message.

Voicemail: "Hey, this is Lori. You know what to do."

[Beep]

''Lincoln: "Hey, Lori. It's your dear brother, Lincoln. There's something I've been meaning to tell you. You are..." [goes into a blindingly raging rant about Lori; Luna comes into his room and rocks out to censor the harsh and foul message for any profanity it may contain, all the while Clyde watches in despair as his dream girl is getting roasted; finishing up.] "AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE THE WORST SISTER EVER!!! [hangs up] "What do you think, Clyde?"''

[Clyde faints]

(cracks up laughing) OK, I have to tell you, this scene right here always makes me laugh. Everything is so perfectly timed, it just so hard for me not to chuckle at least a little bit. Just after Lincoln finishes, Lori comes in.

Lori: "Hey, bro. I just wanna say I'm so sorry I stepped on your stupid toy. So I went out and bought you a stupid new one."

Lincoln: [shocked at her generosity] "You did what now?"

Lori: [hands him new glasses] "Also, I'm very impressed you didn't freak out over this. Very mature."

OK, Lori, it was nice of you to get Lincoln a new set of goggles, and it was commendable of you to say Lincoln was mature, but what was up with your apology, that didn’t even sound like an apology. It’s like you didn’t even care about what you did. OK, real talk, people, If I broke someone’s favorite toy, I would NEVER say it was stupid. At least not to their face/right in front of them. This episode is really not doing a good job of portraying Lori as someone we want to like.

So anyway, after Lori leaves, Lincoln realizes he messed up big time and starts panicking.

Lincoln:"Clyde! What have I done? I called Lori a-" [guitar riff]"-when she's actually a-" [harp string]

Wait a minute! Hang on! If you’re saying something nice about someone, what’s the point of censoring it? That just feels like needless pandering to the FCC, if you ask me.

Anyway, Lincoln deduces that Lori hasn’t read the message yet, and the only way to prevent her from hearing it is to sneak into Lori’s room and delete it from her phone before she finds out. And how are they gonna do that? By doing a mission impossible montage, with Lincoln sneaking into Lori and Leni’s room and Clyde being a lookout. And I really like this scene because it shows how well, Lincoln and Clyde can work together. So Lincoln gets the phone, deletes the message and gets out, before Lori even comes back. There we go. Problem solved. I’d say everything turned out al-

[It turns out it was all just a dramatization of what could happen.]

Lincoln: "And that's how we're gonna do it!"

What?! It was just a dream! Aw man! Well, I shouldn’t be TOO surprised. I mean, did I really think that Lori would react that way to Clyde?

So, the two guys actually start their plan. Lincoln gives Clyde the blueprints for the vents and they get into their position. Lincoln finds the twins, writing up Lily for not wearing a diaper? Seriously? First Luan, and now Lily? Are these two just keep on punishing their siblings for doing what they normally do? Are they gonna punish Luna up for playing her music loudly? Are they gonna punish Lynn for playing sports? Or punish Lucy for being spooky? Or Leni for being not bright? Come on, girls, I get you wanna do your job right, but you’re not actual police officers, just watching what goes on in the hallways of your schools.

Anyway, Lincoln manages to get past them and into the vents, where he meets another one of his sisters.

Lucy: "Hey, Lincoln."

Lincoln: [screams] "Lucy! What are you doing in here?"

Lucy: "I come here to think. I actually just wrote a new poem called "Ventilate".

Inside the wall

I choose to be alone

If I ever get stuck

Please listen for my moan.

Aw, that was a really nice poem, Luce. That’s another reason I love Lucy. She’s quite the poet. So Lincoln tries to make it to Lori and Leni’s room, but he makes a few wrong turns and ends up in the bathroom. But with the help of Lucy, he gets there, but due to his rope being made out of Cherry Licorice, it snaps and makes Lincoln thud to the ground. Which of course gets the attention of Lori.

''Clyde: [frantic] "Lincoln! Lori's coming!" [suave] "Don't worry, I'll stall her." [draws a fake mustache on his upper lip and takes his shirt off and approaches Lori only to be stunned by her beauty.]''

Lori: "What?"

[Clyde suddenly gets a nasty nosebleed from his shyness.]

''Lori: "Ugh! Gross!" [runs to her room]''

(sigh) Well, THAT went well. Yeah, I had a feeling Clyde wouldn’t last long. As you can see, Clyde just had a nosebleed, a thing commonly found in animes. I guess the writers thought they could keep up with the times. Most people really seem to hate this aspect about Clyde. Me? Well, I do think it’s pretty gross, but doesn’t take up a lot of the episode, so I can stomach it.

So, Lincoln manages to hide before Lori can spot him. He tries to get Lori’s phone but fails. Lori takes her phone and goes back down to the living room, with Lincoln hot on her trail.

[Clyde has covered his nostrils with tissues to clear up the bleeding.]

Lincoln: "Clyde! Do you read me?!"

[Lori is listening to all of her messages she got.]

Message 1: "Hey, babe. It's Bobby. Do you think we'll always be together?"

''Lori: "Aww! Totes saving that one!" [saves it]''

[Clyde faints again]

(sigh) And he fails yet again. Seriously, what was the point of making Clyde the lookout if he wasn’t gonna do anything or succeed. I mean, yeah, he wouldn’t be able to delete the message, for obvious reasons, but couldn’t you at least give him some job where he can’t screw up?

So while Lincoln is going after Lori he runs into the twins again.

Lola: "We warned you, dirt bag!"

Lana: "It's the clink for Linc!"

Lincoln: "Look! Luan's making a jailbreak!"

[The twins turn around and Lincoln makes a break for it downstairs.]

Lana: "Hey!"

Lola: "Oh, forget that bum. He's out of our jurisdiction now."

Lana: "Yeah. Let's get doughnuts."

[They head out for a doughnut break.]

(laughs) OK, that line got a chuckle out of me as well. So Lori is about to get to Lincoln’s message and when she does get to it she does this.

Lori: "Ugh! Delete! Lincoln, there are two rules in this house: stay out of my room, and never call my phone! My voicemail is full enough without useless messages from you!"

Lincoln: [sarcastically relieved] "Gee, Lori, I'm sorry."

Lori: "But, I'm gonna let it slide this time 'cause you were so mature when I broke your stupid toy."

Really Lori?! Really?! You’re really sinking this low?! You actually think messages from your own family are useless?! What if that was in urgent message and Lincoln was in trouble?! Some caring big sister! I’m sorry, but I just cannot accept Lori’s behavior in this episode. So far throughout this 11 minute span, she’s been nothing but rude, mean, condescending, and inconsiderate. It makes her unlikable and frustrating to watch.

[Lori gets a call and answers it.]

Lori: "Bobby. Only 12 messages today? I thought you cared about me."

YES HE DOES CARE ABOUT YOU, OTHERWISE THERE’D PROBABLY BE NO MESSAGES AT ALL!!! (Growls) Geez, it’s like in every scene Lori gets more and more unlikeable. Actually that is what’s happening. Lori gets more more unlikeable in every scene she has. Ugh. Let’s just wrap this video up.

Lincoln tells the audience that he’ll just talk to his sisters the next time he has a problem with them. And then realizes he can’t find his “Worst Sister Ever” letter. Guess where it ended up?

Lori: [sees something on the floor] "What's this? Why Lori is the worst sister ever? Bobby, I gotta go. I'M ABOUT TO TURN LINCOLN INTO A HUMAN PRETZEL!!!"

If you said, Lori found it, then you are correct. Lincoln searches upstairs, only to find a furious Lori with the letter and decides to make a run for it.

''Lincoln: "Well, it's time to do the official dance of the Loud House: the Running Man!" [puts on his new game goggles and starts dancing away from Lori's wrath.]''

Lori: "WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, I'M GONNA-"

[Luna rocks out to censor Lori's rant of revenge, just like she did for Lincoln.]

Oy. This cannot end well. I can only imagine what would happen. (sigh) This episode was not a good episode, and that’s shame considering its sister episode was a great way to start of the series. My biggest problem with this episode is with Lori. My GOD, she was SO unlikeable. This probably has to be the worst I’ve ever seen her, yes even more than some other episodes I’ll be getting to later on. Every single scene that she’s in makes want to punch her in the face or something. And the worst part is, there is NO explanation. We never get any reasons why Lori is acting this way, so it looks like Lori is just being a jerk for the sake of being a jerk. Honestly, if you only saw this episode and none of the other episodes featuring Lori, you actually WOULD think that Lori was the worst sister ever. I know that’s far from truth, but if you just saw this episode you would think that. Thank heavens, Lori’s gotten better in other episodes, otherwise, her reputation would be ruined.

As the for the other characters, they were pretty nice. Lincoln was the character I felt sorry for the most, because he gets treated like dirt for most of the episode when he did little to nothing wrong. Clyde, was not very useful, because all he did was tell Lincoln Lori was coming get a nosebleed, faint, and then he was gone for the rest of the episode, he did have one or two good scenes, but other then that, he wasn’t that helpful. The other sisters were also nice too, the twins while they were taking their hall monitor duties a little too seriously, were still entertaining to watch, and Luna, Luan, Lucy and Lily were there and all had their moments to shine. Another thing you may have noticed about this episode is that Leni, Lynn and Lisa were all absent from this episode, and that’s kind of a shame because I would’ve liked to see what they’d do in this episode.

The episode did have some other good qualities to it. That scene with Lincoln ranting into the phone still makes me chuckle, and the mission impossible montage Lincoln imagined was also pretty fun to watch. And the ending was kinda funny. So overall, while this episode may have some good qualities, I still don’t like this episode and wouldn’t reccomend you watch it. Next up is Heavy Meddle. Thanks for watching.