User blog:MrTyeDye/Fanfiction: Shrinkin' Lincoln (Part 4)

Yep... Chapter 4. Fanfiction.net link here.

Of all the trips Lincoln took through the hall, the one from Lucy to Lola was the most comfortable. Lucy kept her pockets cleaner than Lisa or Lana did, so hers wasn't as packed with dust. Lincoln supposed that that was because Lucy's hobbies were a lot less messy, or maybe because her dress had to be washed more often than Lisa's pants or Lana's overalls.

Whatever the case was, the trip was pretty short, since, again, the twins' room was only one door down from Lucy and Lynn's. Before he knew it, he was being raised out of Lucy's pocket and lowered onto the floor, where he once again found himself centered in the twins' room. He found himself standing before a round table, that was so large and imposing it looked as though it was taken straight from the legend of King Arthur. Or at least it would have if not for its gaudy pink color, its cheap plastic construction, and its cutesy attendees - a white stuffed cat with a golden collar, a rotund green dinosaur plushie, a perpetually smiling blonde rag doll with a navy blouse, and of course, his beaming six-year-old sister sitting on the far end.

"Oh, hello, Lincoln!" chirped Lola. "You're right on time; I just finished brewing the tea. Take a seat."

Lincoln climbed up onto the empty chair left for him, which was several times too big for him, but he wouldn't be able to reach the table otherwise. On the table in front of him, he saw that Lola had given him a thimble, in place of a full-sized teacup.

Lola stood up to address her tiny new guest. "Lincoln, I'd like you to meet Duchess, Mr. Patch and Miss Bliss," she said, pointing at the cat, the dinosaur and the rag doll, respectively. "Ladies, gentleman, I'd like you to meet my brother Lincoln. Please try not to faint from his overwhelming cuteness."

Lincoln blushed at her comment and gave the toys a stilted, awkward wave. "Um... hi, everybody. Hope the tea's good!"

"Oh, it is, Lincoln," said Lola, as she picked up the empty teapot and poured him a piping hot cup of air. "It was grown in Miss Bliss's garden, and everything grown in her garden tastes absolutely wonderful!"

Lincoln took a sip from the empty thimble, pretending to taste it. "Mmm, delicious!" he said, rubbing his tummy. "Boy, you weren't kidding!"

After pretending to wipe his mouth clean with a napkin, he turned to address the doll. "Must be a lot of hard work to tend to that garden, huh, Miss Bliss?"

"Actually, no!" said Lola. "Because Duchess put a magical spell on the garden, so that everything grows on its own and never goes bad!"

Lincoln sighed. It seemed that Lola failed to understand that you need conflict in order to make a story compelling. This was understandable - she was only six, after all - but it didn't make the party any less insipid. He had hoped that this would be the one activity that didn't make him fear for his safety, but now he felt like he was in danger of being bored to death.

As Lola continued to ramble on about Miss Bliss's garden, Lincoln's attention started to drift around the room, looking for anything even remotely interesting that he could focus on. He was a little concerned that Lola would catch on to the fact that he wasn't paying attention, but he wasn't exactly expecting an exam after the party. (Then again, knowing Lola, there very well could have been.)

But in the midst of his drifting, there was one detail that piqued Lincoln's curiosity. Right by Lola's bedside, there was a chair facing the wall, upon which a stuffed elephant sat.

"Hey, Lola?"

"Yes, Lincoln?"

"I couldn't help but notice that you left someone out," he said, pointing towards the elephant. "Who's that?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, that's Camembert," she said. "Don't worry about him; he's in time out."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">She named him after a cheese?, thought Lincoln. Eh, she probably just overheard the word somewhere and assumed it was a fancy name.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"If you don't mind my asking, why is he in time out?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Well, yesterday, he showed up at Miss Bliss's party uninvited, and started eating some of her crescent rolls," explained Lola. "She spent all day baking those, too. That's why he's in time out."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Well, that was rude, thought Lincoln.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">But as the party went on, Lincoln started to feel a pang of sadness for Camembert. Even though he was undoubtedly in the wrong, he just looked so pathetic facing the wall with his head slumped down and his trunk drooping. On any other day, Lincoln would have just ignored him, but at his size, Camembert's sadness seemed all too real.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Lola?" he said. "I know it's not my place to suggest this, but-"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Oh, don't be silly, Lincoln," interrupted Lola. "You're our guest of honor. Your opinion is more than welcome here. Now, what's your suggestion?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln took a deep breath and leaned forward, looking Lola straight in the eye. "I think we should invite Camembert to the table."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola gave him a peculiar look. "But I just told you he's in time out."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"I know, but he won't learn anything if we just mindlessly punish him. He may not even understand what he did wrong. Doesn't he at least deserve a chance to explain himself?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Hmm..."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola rubbed her chin, giving herself a moment to mull over Lincoln's suggestion.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"I suppose it wouldn't hurt to get a dialogue going," she said. "Miss Bliss, what say you?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">She leaned over towards Miss Bliss and held her ear up against the doll's face.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Mm-hmm... mm-hmm... okay."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">She sat back up in her chair and turned to address Lincoln. "Miss Bliss says she'll let him join us. But he won't be allowed to have any tea."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Fair enough," Lincoln said with a shrug.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">With that, Lola walked over to her bed, picked up Camembert's chair with him still in it, and carried him over to the table.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Camembert," she said, "upon further consideration, we have decided to invite you back to the table, so that you will have a chance to explain your actions to Miss Bliss. If, at any point, you try to partake in the refreshments, you will be asked to leave. Is that understood?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">She grabbed Camembert by the trunk and jerked it up and down, making the elephant nod his head.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Good. Now, let's begin with the obvious question; why did you think it was appropriate to appear at Miss Bliss's party uninvited and start eating her crescent rolls?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">She leaned over and pressed her ear up against Camembert's mouth, pretending to listen for a response.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Mmm-hmm..."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">She withdrew her ear and sat back up straight. "Camembert says that he didn't think it was fair for Miss Bliss to throw a party without inviting him."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">That sounded like a pretty flimsy reason to Lincoln, but the image of Camembert slumped over in that chair alone was still fresh in his mind, so he couldn't bring himself to be too mad at the pachyderm.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Well, Camembert, I understand why you would find that hurtful," said Lincoln. "After all, nobody likes to be left out. But you have to respect others' boundaries, and you can't expect to be on the guest list for every party that goes on in... where are we again?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Lolatopia," said Lola.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Of course, thought Lincoln.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Anyway, you can't expect to be invited to every party in Lolatopia. Besides, I'm sure you weren't the only one who wasn't invited."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola pushed Camembert into a slouching position and made him cross his arms, putting him in an pouty, petulant pose. "Camembert says he was so the only one who wasn't invited," said Lola. "The party was advertised across Lolatopia as an elephant-free gathering."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln gasped. "A what?!" he cried. "Miss Bliss, is this true?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola furrowed her brow at him. "Lincoln, I would like to remind you that Lolatopia laws forbid raising your voice at the table."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">'' Remind  me?! You never told me in the first place!''

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Sorry, Lola, I guess I forgot," he said, not wanting to provoke Lola's ire.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"I can see that," said Lola. "Regretfully, even though this is your first infraction, I'm afraid we'll have to give you a penalty."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln swallowed hard. "Which is...?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"A spanking."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln clasped his hand over his mouth, in order to muffle his yelp of surprise. His stomach churned at the thought of a giant-sized Lola bending him over her knee and spanking him raw, an experience equal parts painful and humiliating.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"L-Lola, l-let's talk about this," he stammered. "You're fifty times my size. A slap from you could really hurt me."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Oh, Lincoln, you've got it all wrong," Lola said with a chortle. "I'm not going to spank you."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Oh, thank God-

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Miss Bliss is!"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">''Dang it. Wait, what?''

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola stood up out of her chair, grabbed Miss Bliss by the scruff of her neck and dragged her over to Lincoln's side of the table. Before Lincoln could even ask how she intended to have her doll carry out the punishment, he got his answer when she hoisted him out of his chair and pressed him face down onto the table, so that his legs were dangling off the edge. The next thing he felt was the sensation of a rag doll's arm thwapping against his bottom. Even at his size, the doll's arm was too soft and flaccid to leave much of an impact, so the punishment didn't hurt anything other than his pride.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">As soon as Lola was convinced that he had learned his lesson (he had), she lifted him off the table, sat him back down, and put Miss Bliss back in her place.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Hopefully, we won't have to do that again," she said. "Now, Lincoln, I believe you had a question for Miss Bliss. Feel free to ask it again, but remember to use your indoor voice this time."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Yes, of course," said Lincoln. "Miss Bliss, is it true that you advertised your party as an 'elephant-free' gathering?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola grasped Miss Bliss by the head and made her nod. "Miss Bliss says that she doesn't care much for elephants," said Lola. "They stomp around and make far too much noise."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to restrain himself from snapping at the doll. "Okay, first of all, it's kind of hypocritical to exclude elephants just because of that, considering the fact that there's a dinosaur sitting right next to you," he said. "No offense, Mr. Patch."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Mr. Patch says, 'None taken'," said Lola.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln gave the dinosaur a nod before continuing. "Second of all, as far as I can see, Camembert is the only elephant who lives here in Lolatopia. Why would you single him out like that?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola took Miss Bliss by the head again. This time, she had the doll turn away from Lincoln and arch her head back, making her turn up her nonexistent nose at him. "Miss Bliss says that she has the right to exclude anyone she chooses."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">At this point, Miss Bliss's attitude was really starting to irk Lincoln, not helped by her perpetually smiling face that now seemed to be imbued with an aura of smugness.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"That may be," said Lincoln, "but you should at least understand why you made Camembert upset. How would you like it if he had a party and invited everyone but you?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola made Mr. Patch turn towards Miss Bliss, grabbed him by the neck and started bobbing his head back and forth. "Mr. Patch says he agrees with Lincoln," said Lola. "He would be very hurt if you threw a party and decided to make it dinosaur-free."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">In "response", Lola turned Miss Bliss towards Mr. Patch and had her shake her head at him. "Miss Bliss says it's not the same."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"HOW I-" Lincoln began, only to catch himself midway. "...Sorry. Gimme a minute."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">He scooted back in his seat, closed his eyes, and started taking deep breaths, in an attempt to simmer down.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">''Okay, Linc, get a grip. It's a  doll. An inanimate pile of fabric. You should  not  be letting it get you this angry.''

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Okay, I'm calm now," he said. "Miss Bliss, how is it not the same? Why are you so prejudiced against elephants?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola sighed and gave Miss Bliss a nudge to the back of the head, making it droop downward. "Miss Bliss says that if you're going to keep pressing her, then you might as well know the truth," said Lola. "You see, just a month ago, Miss Bliss had an awful dream. She dreamt that an elephant stormed into her garden and ate all of her crops, and then he stomped it all up so nothing could grow back. That's why she doesn't like elephants."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln blinked in confusion. "Hold on a second, I'm a little lost. This was a dream, you said?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Yes."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"So nothing actually happened to Miss Bliss's garden?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Oh, no. It's absolutely fine."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Okay, so..."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln took a deep breath and started massaging his temples. "...so she knows that nothing in the dream actually happened, but she still holds a grudge against Camembert."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Yeah."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"And elephants in general."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Pretty much."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln took another deep breath. "Lola, can I be blunt here?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Go ahead," she said.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"That's the stupidest reason to dislike someone I've ever heard."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola grabbed both of Miss Bliss's hands and slammed them down against the table, causing a piercing crack that made Lincoln jump in his seat. "Miss Bliss says, 'NO IT'S NOT!'"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"O-o-okay, okay," said Lincoln, shrinking into the chair. "Just... just try to calm yourself."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln felt a little silly for being so cowed by Miss Bliss's reaction, but at his size it was scary to hear Lola raise her voice to him - even if she was just speaking for someone else.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Wait a second...

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Hey, Lola, I thought you said no raising your voice at the table."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola gasped, took Miss Bliss by the hands again and pressed them up against the doll's mouth. "My word, Lincoln, you're right!" she cried. "I'm disappointed in you, Miss Bliss. As a seasoned tea partier, you really should know better than that. You will have to be punished."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln's lips twisted into a smug smirk. "So, does she get a spanking?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Normally, that would be the case," said Lola. "But Miss Bliss is the one in charge of giving spankings, and she can't spank herself. We'll have to think of something else."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Hmm..."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln stroked his chin, trying to think of a suitable penalty. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the empty spot by Lola's bed where Camembert used to be, and a lightbulb went off in his head.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Perhaps we could put her in time out, in Camembert's stead?" he suggested.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"That sounds reasonable to me," said Lola.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">She looked down at the doll, giving her a pointed look. "Of course, if you disagree, I could try thinking of something else. Would you prefer that?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola made Miss Bliss shake her head.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"I didn't think so."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">With that, she picked up Miss Bliss's chair, took it over to her bedside and placed it down, making her face the wall. Then, instead of retaking her seat, she walked over behind Duchess - who, Lincoln noticed, had been awfully quiet up until this point. She took the cat by the head and turned her towards Lincoln, until her beady eyes were in contact with his.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln, unsure of how to interpret that gesture, decided to play it safe and go for the apology.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Oh, hi, Duchess. Sorry if I made things awkward."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola shook the cat's head. "Duchess says there's no need to apologize," she said. "Actually, she admires the way you stood up to Miss Bliss. She thinks you were very brave."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Oh! Thank you, then."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola then grabbed both ends of Duchess's chair and started sliding it around the table, bringing her closer to Lincoln. "In fact," she said, a smile tugging at the end of her lips, "there's something else that Duchess has been meaning to tell you."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln started squirming in his seat, having only a faint idea of where this was going. She couldn't mean... could she?

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Once Duchess's chair was right next to Lincoln's, Lola picked up the cat's paw and started dragging it up and down Lincoln's arm. "Duchess says that she couldn't help but notice how handsome you are."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln giggled at the sensation of Duchess's fur tickling his skin. This only encouraged Lola, who interpreted the reaction as lovestruck bashfulness.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Duchess was too shy to say anything before," said Lola, as she made the cat crawl off of her chair and onto Lincoln's. "But now that bossy old Miss Bliss is gone, she can tell you how she really feels. She thinks that you're the the cutest little thing she's ever set eyes on."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola made Duchess nuzzle her nose up against Lincoln's cheek, eliciting another giggle - and, to his humiliation, a blush. He couldn't tell if he was just embarrassed at being in this position, or legitimately flattered by the stuffed cat's display of affection.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Now Duchess wants to know how you feel," said Lola, her voice taking on a breathy tone. "Do you like her? Do you like Duchess?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln could only guess what prompted him to do what he did next. Maybe he was afraid of the repercussions he'd receive if he didn't play along. Maybe Lola did that good a job making the stuffed animal's declaration of love sound earnest and heartfelt. Maybe he was just "caught up in the moment," as they say.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Whatever the case was, he yanked Duchess out of Lola's hands, dipped her down and pressed his lips up against the cat's stitched mouth.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Good lord, I'm smooching a stuffed animal, he thought as he held the kiss. This was too bizarre for words. He half-expected the entire world to freeze and a voiceover of, "Yeah, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up in this position..." to start playing. Nevertheless, he made a choice and now he had to follow through with it.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">By the time he released the kiss, put the cat down and looked back towards Lola, her eyes were bulging open and her hands were clasped over her mouth. Lincoln felt a twinge of unease, fearing that he had just committed a pretty serious faux pas.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">But upon closer inspection, he saw a hint of a smile peeking out from behind Lola's hands. Then, he heard a slight, barely audible snort, followed by a muffled snicker. This, in turn, was followed by several more snickers, each one louder than the last. Finally, the dam was broken by an eruption of side-splitting laughter. Lola took her hands off her mouth and slapped them both over her knees, as she gave up trying to hide her amusement and instead decided to focus her effort on keeping her balance. Alas, her efforts would be unsuccessful; it wasn't long before she fell backward onto her butt, cackling all the while.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola's laughter would prove to be contagious, as Lincoln burst into a fit of laughter of his own. One so severe, in fact, that he went careening off the chair and fell onto the floor, where his fall was fortunately broken by Lola's belly. For some indeterminate amount of time, they just rolled around on the floor, each one's laughter fueling the other's, until they only had a vague idea of what they were laughing about in the first place.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Once the laughter finally started to die down, Lola spoke again.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"That... that was really something," gasped Lola, catching her breath. "I didn't think you'd go that far."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"I didn't think so, either," said Lincoln. "I guess it just happened."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola, with a bit of effort, got back on her feet, and then helped Lincoln back onto his. "All that aside, thank you for coming," she said. "This really meant a lot to me."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">This struck Lincoln as a little odd. Lana and Lucy had concrete reasons for wanting to see Lincoln; Lana needed someone to take care of her animals, and Lucy wanted to win a contest. What was so important about a pretend tea party?

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">That thought, combined with the way Lola's baby blue eyes shimmered as she looked down at Lincoln, made him suspect that this was more than just a play session for her. He wondered whether or not he should press her for details, but fortunately, Lola just decided to volunteer the information herself.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"In fact," she said, her smile beginning to fade, "there's a reason I decided to invite you here. I have something that I need to get off my chest. Can I talk to you?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln walked up to Lola and gave her a pat on the ankle. "Sure, Lola."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola scooped him up into her palm and carried him over to her canopy bed. As she walked over, Lincoln noticed that her smile had all but disappeared completely. Once she made it over, she gently laid him down onto the mattress and took a seat next to him.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Something happened to me last Monday that I haven't stopped thinking about since," said Lola, hands clasped in front of her and eyes locked on some arbitrary space on the floor. "It was 5:00 after school, and the judges were announcing the results of the Miss Cute & Courteous Pageant."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Did you lose?" asked Lincoln.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"No, I won. Came out one place ahead of Lindsey Sweetwater, which felt pretty good."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln saw a hint of a smirk form on her face for a moment, before it vanished right back into the ether.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"So when I won, I started basking in my victory," Lola continued. "You know, cheering, blowing kisses, that sort of thing. And I guess I got a little carried away, 'cause Lindsey snapped at me. She said..."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola paused, clenched her eyes shut and sucked in air through her nose before proceeding. "She said, 'Geez, Lola, would you just shut up already?! Nobody even likes you!'"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln heard her voice start to fracture as soon as she got to the end of that sentence.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Oh, gosh, that's awful," he said. "Didn't anyone say anything to her?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Well, her mom walked up and scolded her," said Lola. "But..."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola started to tremble, and her eyes grew mistier. "...but none of the other girls stood up for me. None of them said, 'Hey, that's not true! I'm Lola's friend!'"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln couldn't say he was surprised. He still remembered the time he went snooping around the pageant halls for dirt on Lola, and all of the other girls ran and hid at the sound of her name.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"So for the rest of the night, I just put on a big ol' smile and pretended that nothing was wrong, because you're supposed to be happy when you win a pageant," said Lola. A tear fell from Lola's eye and started running down her cheek. "But once I was alone in my room, I just cried, and cried, because I knew that Lindsey was right."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Then, in a display that made Lincoln's heart crack like an egg, Lola crawled over to the other side of the bed and collapsed facefirst into her pillow. As she spoke, her voice deteriorated into muffled, fractured sobs.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"I don't have any friends," she whimpered. "Nobody likes me."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln walked over to the other side of the bed and started stroking his tiny hand across Lola's hair. Before he could think of something to say to console her, she came out with another heart-wrenching sentence:

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Sometimes I wonder if anyone here would even care about me if I wasn't part of the family."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln gasped, appalled that she would even thinksuch a thing, let alone say it. "Lola, don't you ever talk like that. You're a beautiful, wonderful, talented little girl. Even if you weren't related to us, all of that would still be true. We couldn't be luckier to have you in this family."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola sniffled. "Y-you mean it? You're not just saying that?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Of course I'm not. And by the way, I had a really great time today. You're a lot of fun to play with."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln took a moment to sit by Lola's side and let her cry before moving onto his next point.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"And it's okay if you're having trouble making friends," he said. "You're only six. You still have lots of time to work on that."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Lana's six!" cried Lola. "Lana's six and she already has, like, three friends! And I don't have any!"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola's sobs grew louder and heavier after her outburst. Lincoln cursed the fact that he was too small to hug her, or let her cry into his chest. At his size, all he could do was use his words.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Well, it's easier for some kids than others," admitted Lincoln. "But you know what? I didn't meet Clyde until I was eight."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">The sobbing started to quiet down after that point, indicating that she was at least willing to hear him out. Emboldened by his progress, Lincoln continued.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"And I didn't meet Ronnie Anne until I was eleven."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola lifted her head off her pillow and looked down to face Lincoln, her eyes puffy and swollen and her mascara running down her face.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"The point is, Lola, you're still young. You're in first grade. You've still got eleven whole years before you even make it to college. You have all the time in the world and plenty of great experiences ahead of you. Just keep putting yourself out there and looking for girls with similar interests, and I promise you'll be making friends before you know it."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lola choked back a couple of sobs and started wiping her eyes dry. "Promise?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Promise."

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln walked over to Lola and wrapped his arms as far as they could go around Lola's waist. Lola, enchanted by the gesture, finally found the wherewithal to smile again. In response, she used one hand to hold him against her tummy, and the other to pet him.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">After a few minutes of cuddling, Lola asked Lincoln one more question.

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Hey, Lincoln?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Yes, Lola?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">"Are you my friend?"

<p style="max-height:999999px;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Verdana,Verdana,Arial;font-size:11px;">Lincoln tightened his grip on Lola, hugging her as hard as he possibly could. "I sure am."