House of Lies/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "House of Lies".

Script
[At the Loud House]

Lana: "Hey, Lori? Can you take me to the dump? [Pans over to Lori with her phone and Lisa with her science kit in the living room] All the good trash gets dropped off today. Flip's, the hospital, the hazardous waste plant..."

Lori: "Ooh, Sorry, Lans. I can't. I have to... uh, stay at home and do homework."

Lana: [disappointed] Aw, ok. Guess I’ll just dig through Lynn's trash. Sometimes there’s some good stuff in there."

[After Lana goes upstairs, Lori takes out the car keys and is about to leave]

Lisa: "Eldest Sister, where are you going?"

Lori: "The mall. There’s a clearance sale that is literally calling my name!"

Lisa: "But you just told Lana you have homework."

Lori: "Well, yeah. I didn’t want to take her to the dump, so I told a little white lie. No big." [She leaves]

Lisa: "Mmh... [She takes out her tape recorder and records] Interesting development. Lori has blatantly lied to Lana and seems to have no remorse over it.

''[Later, the siblings are outside their front door chatting as Lynn Sr. drives up with Vanzilla. Leni comes out of it with an orange hairstyle]''

Leni: "Hey, you guys! What do you think of my new look?" [She walks by and goes past her siblings, who starts to compliment Leni's hair, to go inside]

Lucy: "Oh, uh, love it."

Luna: "Rockin'."

Lynn: "It softens your jaw line."

Leni: "Thanks! Isn’t great?" [She closes the front door]

Lola: "What was she thinking?"

Lori: "Literally no clue."

Lincoln: "Yuck."

Lana: "Her hair looks like the old carpeting in Vanzilla."

Lisa: [suspicious] "Mmh, more lies."

[Later, it’s dinnertime in the dining room]

Lynn: [sniffs something] "Do you guys smell something nasty?"

Lynn Sr.: "Hey! [Shows up with a dish of green glob] Hope you’re hungry, gang, I finally perfected my new cabbage casserole!" [He takes out a spoon and passes the casserole to each family members' plate]

Lola: "Wow, Daddy. Smells great!"

Rita: "Some of your best work, honey."

Lynn Sr. "Wait! I forgot the fish sauce! It really brings out the sulfur notes!" [He leaves to get it]

Lynn: [to the rest of her family] "Quick, ditch it before we have to eat the fish sauce!"

''[The family grabs their dish to find someplace to throw the casserole away. Lincoln grabs the whole dish, throws the casserole in the toilet, closes it, then goes back to the dining room with the others with empty dishes. Lisa, the only one who didn’t throw her casserole away, take notice of this.]''

Lisa: [records] "The lies continue."

[In Lisa's room, she examines the calculations of honesty and lying on her chalkboard]

Lisa: [records again] "I fear for my family's wellbeing, truth is the foundation of any functioning society, where as lying can only lead to chaos and ruin. I must rectify this problem".

''[Lisa, while wearing a welding helmet, drills something. She takes it off and it's revealed that she was inventing metal green glasses with small red lights on each side. She takes off her old glasses and puts on the new one and blinks]''

[The next day, the family is having breakfast in the kitchen and Lisa come by and sees Luna and Luan arguing]

Luna: "Just tell me where it is, brah!"

Luan: "Well, I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about!"

Lisa: "What seems to be the problem here?"

Luna: "Luan's always borrowing my gong to "punctuate" comedic moments and now it’s missing! I know she took it!"

Luan: "No, I didn’t!"

[A buzzer sound is heard]

Lisa: "Luna, you’re right. Luan is lying."

Luan: [denying] "No, I’m not!"

[The glasses buzzes again]

Lisa: "Oh, yes you are. Behold my latest invention: [She takes them off then puts them back on] lie-detecting glasses.

[She leaves while her family look at each other with worry]

[Later, the bathroom is very messy]

Lynn Sr.: "All right, which one of you water buffalos destroyed the bathroom?"

Lynn: [Comes out of her room] "Wasn’t me, Dad."

Lisa: [By the stairs while her glasses buzz] "That’s a lie."

[Lynn glares at her for being ratted on]

[In the same room, Rita is showing Lucy her novels]

Rita: "So, what do you think of the new chapter?" Lucy: "Umm... I really liked it."

Lisa: [Walks by as her glasses buzz] "Fib."

[In Lisa and Lily's room, Lily is drawing scribbles and shows it to Luan]

Luan: "Oh, it’s beautiful, Lily. I love it."

Lisa: [Shows up upside down as her glasses buzz] "Untrue."

[Lily glares at Luan]

[Leni is brushing her hair in her room as Lori comes in with her towels]

Lori: "Leni, there’s no hot water left! Did you take another 40-minute shower?"

[Leni spins Lori inside their room, looks around for Lisa, then closes the door]

Leni: "No. I was in there, like, five minutes.

[Lisa's glasses buzzes from inside the vent]

[Later, Lisa is getting a box of apple juice from the fridge and gets startled by her glaring family]

Lisa: [calm] "Greetings, Family. Can I help you?"

Lola: "You sure can. You can stop using your terrible glasses!"

Lori: "They’re literally driving us crazy!"

Lisa: "Look, I'm simply doing what's best for this family. Every lie drags us closer to chaos and ruin."

Rita: Sweetie, I agree but sometimes a little white lie can help smooth things over."

Lisa: "I formally disagree. There's no such thing as a good lie." "[She says as she walks out of the kitchen.]"

Lynn Sr.: "[Sighs]" "Okay, It's clear what we have to do."

Lincoln: "Tell the truth?"

Lynn Sr.: "No! Destroy those ding-dang glasses!"

"[The whole family gathers together making a plan.]"

"[In the night, cut to the house and then Lisa's room snoring.] "[Lily makes a noise to see if she's fully asleep, then she puts her fist up for the family to come. Lana spits out napkins into Lisa's ears so she can't hear anything. Leni walk over to her drawer and picks the lock. Then she gets her glasses and tosses them to Lincoln. Then he puts them in a sock then throws it out the window. Then Lynn goes across the house and gives it to Lori. She goes over to the driveway and Lola runs them over with her car. Then Lori tosses it to Rita then throws it away. She puts the rock and roll sign as that happens. So did the family.]"

"[Cut to the family except Lisa having breakfast, then Lisa walks in dissapointed."] Lisa: "Ahem? Anyone care to explain this?" "[She dumps out the glasses in the sock." Lola: "[Gasps]" "Are those your special glasses?" "[The whole family says they feel bad and sorry but they are lying.]" Camera: "Lie! Lie! Lie!" Rita: "What is that?"