User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: An Imaginative Night

This next story is based in part on a curious incident that actually happened to me at a slumber party during my high school years. It's also a good excuse to write about Lucy's more playful side. Fair warning, though: things are gonna get weird. This might be the strangest TLH story I've penned thus far, though it's still pretty tame compared to a lot of stuff out there. Anyway, enough about that. Here is:

An Imaginative Night
“N-now, Lucy. D-don’t run too far ahead. I-I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You know, you can just wait for us in the car, Dad.”

“N-nonono! Th-that’s fine. I’m here to protect you, sweetie.”

“Sigh. Just try not to embarrass yourself too much.”

Haiku watched Lucy and her father banter as they trekked through the infamous House of Terror. Normally, this sort of pastime was not her cup of tea. She had been to enough haunted houses to know which ones were actually haunted and which ones weren’t. But Lucy had expressed a desire to get some new inspiration for her haunted corn maze, and she needed a chaperone who wasn’t going to spend the entire survey jumping at his own shadow. And with her mother out of town, her older sisters having babysitting obligations, and Lincoln looking after her younger siblings, she had only her best friend Haiku to turn to. Fortunately, Haiku was willing to lend a hand in exchange for spending the night at the Loud House.

“I can’t help but feel profoundly disappointed,” said Lucy, staring up at an axe-wielding ghoul poised to strike. “Lincoln said this place was supposed to be scarier now that it had new management, but I just don’t see it.”

“Exaggerated/claims are often made by those/who are gripped by fear,” Haiku quipped.

“So true,” Lucy concurred. She traced her hand along what appeared to be a blood-soaked wall, sizing up the consistence of the ooze in her hand. “Sigh. They overdid it on the molasses. The consistency on this fake blood is too thick.”

“H-hey! Be careful, honey!” Lynn Sr. protested. “You don’t know where that’s been!”

Lucy simply ignored her father and continue roaming the manor, nitpicking and critiquing every flaw in the presentation without so much as flinching. Haiku remained composed as well, even as scores of kids ran about in abject terror. Lynn Sr., meanwhile, looked like he was ready to dart for the Bail Out door at any moment. The only thing keeping him from doing so was his parental instincts.

The exploration had them arrive at the study, where bookshelves lined the walls. Haiku rolled her eyes.

“The ol’ hidden-passageway-in-the-bookshelf cliché? Seriously?” she said incredulously. “I’ve seen you do better than that without even trying, Lucy.”

“The passageway itself is an old trope, yes,” said Lucy. “But it’s all in the execution. Let’s see if this room at least lives up to the hype.”

Lucy began tapping books at random while Lynn Sr. watched, chewing his fingernails and sweating bullets. Finally, one of the books sank into the shelf, and there was a loud rumbling sound. The shelf slid open, revealing what appeared to be a tall, menacing vampire. The vampire stared down at Lucy and licked his lips.

“Ah~! It’s not everyday that such a tasty morsel comes to my doorstep,” he said in a thick accent. “You will make for a delicious snack.”

Lynn Sr. shook like a leaf, trying desperately to keep a stiff upper lip. “N-now look here, you! Y-you are not hurting my daughter, you hear me?!”

Haiku groaned. She could only imagine how embarrassed Lucy was by her father’s cowardly yet overprotective antics. However, Lucy was still as stoic as ever. She ventured up to the vampire and cleared her throat.

“Please excuse this wretched mortal,” she said. “He is not used to your humble abode.”  She rolled up her sleeve and presented her arm to the vampire. “If you wish to partake of my essence, I invite you to do so. In fact, my blood may quench your thirst forever. Is that not what our kind seeks?”

The vampire gave Lucy a puzzled look. “Um, I just work here, kid.”

Lucy scoffed and covered up her arm before walking out of the room, with Haiku and Lynn Sr. following her.

“Sigh. They won’t even stay in character,” she complained. “What was Lincoln so afraid of?”

“Probably the same things your father is,” Haiku teased, though it was difficult to tell through her monotone delivery. She then smirked. “Still, that was a nice diplomacy save there. I’d expect nothing less from the valiant Abigail Reed.”

Lucy gave Haiku a look. Out of all of the surprises she expected the House of Terror to contain, she certainly wasn’t expecting Haiku to drop the name of the character she created for the Morticians Club’s tabletop game of choice, Bloodsucker: The Charade. Lynn Sr. was equally puzzled.

“Um, why did she call you that?” he asked.

“Inside joke,” Lucy replied quickly. “Anyway, I think I’ve seen enough.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” said Lynn Sr., breathing a sigh of relief. He nervously looked around. “So, um…  Do either of you know the way out?”

Lucy facepalmed. “Sigh. I’ll lead the way.”

Haiku simply rolled her eyes. Much like Lucy, she was very disappointed by the House of Terror. Between the lackluster presentation and Lynn Sr. cowering in fear the whole time, she felt as though the entire night was wasted. Even so, Lucy’s exchange with the costumed vampire remained in the back of her mind. Perhaps there was a way to salvage the evening…

***

Lynn Sr. was still visibly shaken when he pulled into the driveway. Even the sound of Haiku clearing her throat caused him to flinch.

“Thank you for letting me sleep over, Mr. Loud,” said Haiku.

“H-huh? O-oh, yeah, sure, no problem,” said Lynn Sr. hastily.

“Sigh,” Lucy mumbled. “Don’t mind him, Haiku. This was never really his bag.”  She hopped out of Vanzilla and held the door open. “Come. You can sleep in my room tonight.”

Haiku’s eyebrows shot up with intrigue. “Are you sure? What about Lynn?”

“She’s babysitting the Fox quintuplets tonight. She won’t be home until late,” Lucy explained. “I even got out my finest coffin for you to sleep in.”

Haiku nodded. “Thank you, mine host.”

Lucy found Haiku’s choice of words to be a bit strange, but she thought nothing of it. Lynn Sr. led the two inside, and they immediately ventured upstairs. They found that most of the family was already in their pajamas and just getting ready for bed.

“Oh. Hey, Lucy. Hey, Haiku,” said Lincoln with a wave. “How was the House of Terror? Pretty scary, huh?”

Lucy shrugged. “We’ve seen scarier.”

Lincoln deadpanned. “Of course you have.”

Lucy simply shrugged again and went into the bathroom. Haiku unslung her backpack from her back and took out a small gothic nightgown, along with a toothbrush, a cup, and some toothpaste. Lincoln raised an eyebrow.

“Wait, you two are getting ready for bed already?” he asked.

Haiku shrugged. “It’s been a long day.”

Deciding not to pry any further, Lincoln simply went off to his own room. Haiku slipped into Lucy’s room and closed the door. Sure enough, a velvet-lined casket laid open with a blanket and pillow inside. A small smirk crossed Haiku’s lips. After giving her teeth a quick brushing and putting on her nightgown, she climbed into the coffin and closed the lid.

***

It wasn’t long before Lucy came in. Seeing the coffin closed, she figured Haiku decided to turn in early. With a shrug, she got into her nightshirt, turned off the light, and crawled into her own bed. However, barely five minutes passed before she heard a ghastly creak. Turning her head, she saw the lid of the coffin slide open.

“Haiku? Do you need something?” she inquired.

Haiku slowly sat upright and turned her head. Lucy could swear that she could see Haiku’s eyes twinkle in the inky blackness of the room.

“Is that any way to greet your maker, young Abigail?”

Lucy felt a chill go up her spine. Whenever they played Bloodsucker: The Charade, Haiku’s character always had a commanding presence, and this time was no exception. Though part of her still wanted to go to sleep, she couldn’t help but become captivated by her friend’s chilling, hypnotic voice.

“Lady Thorndike,” she said. “Do pardon me; I was… unaware you were dropping in to visit.”

“Oh, this is no mere visit, my young progeny,” said Haiku. She climbed out of the coffin and shuffled over to Lucy. “I come bearing grave news. The League of Lilith is not pleased with your actions today.”

Lucy tilted her head. “If I have done something to upset the League, my lady, then I must know my crime.”

“You offered yourself to a vampire outside the League,” said Haiku coldly. “I thought I trained you to be more cautious than that.”

“He obviously seemed hungry,” Lucy said with a shrug. “What else was I to do? Let him starve?”

Haiku let out a muted chuckle. “You and your tender heart. You never did like the idea of being a total monster, did you?”

Lucy pouted. “And what of you, my lady? I mean no disrespect, but you aren’t the kind to turn a blind eye to suffering, either.”

Haiku sighed. “No, I am not. I value my humanity just as you do, my child. But that is not the issue. What if he was one of those leeches from the Crimson Cult? He could’ve drained you dry.”

Lucy’s breath hitched. “You believe he was with the Crimson Cult?”

“It’s possible.”

Lucy furrowed her brow. “If that is the case, then I am lucky indeed. Perhaps my tender heart has blinded me. My deepest apologies, my lady.”

Haiku smirked and caressed Lucy’s cheek.

“Abigail Reed. That tender heart is exactly what separates you from the Cult,” she cooed. “It is nothing to be ashamed of. Regardless, you should be on your guard. If that hapless skall was with the Crimson Cult, their dark magic is not far behind. Remember, there’s only so much the League and I can do to protect y—”

Haiku suddenly gasped and clutched at her chest. She fell to one knee, grunting and straining while still managing to keep her voice at a low whisper. Without a second thought, Lucy leapt out of bed and knelt beside her.

“My lady, what ails you?” she inquired.

Haiku looked at Lucy and sneered. “I’m afraid Lady Thorndike is no longer here, child,” she rasped, her voice sounding a lot more sinister. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you join her soon enough!”

Lucy recoiled and stumbled, her back pressed against her bed. Haiku cackled softly as she drew back her hand, imitating a claw. Lucy searched the room, her mind working furiously. Suddenly, over in the corner, she saw a bungie cord. Her hand clenched into a fist.

“You will have to catch me first, leech!” she proclaimed in a harsh whisper. She then blew in Haiku’s face, causing her to flinch. While Haiku was distracted, Lucy began running around the room, flapping her arms and squeaking softly. Haiku snarled.

“You cannot run from me, child. I possess the one who sired you; you should obey me!” she snapped.

“My blood oath to Lady Thorndike cannot be tainted by the Crimson Cult, cur,” Lucy retorted. She reached the bungie cord and scooped it up with her leg. “Release her, or I will force you to.”

“Never!” Haiku hissed.

Lucy shook her head. “Sigh. You cultist skalls are all alike. You never want to do things the easy way.”

Haiku let out a subtle, barely-audible screech as she ran towards Lucy. Lucy sidestepped Haiku’s charge and tripped her up with the bungie cord. She then proceeded to wrap the cord around Haiku’s body. Though the binds were far from tight, Haiku squirmed and writhed.

“Do the holy cords sting, savage?” Lucy asked coyly.

“Y-you think you’ve won, Abigail Reed?” Haiku rasped. “Rosie Thorndike’s body is still mine. I will never let her go.”

Lucy smirked. “We’ll just see about that, won’t we?”

She sat cross-legged and let out a meditative hum. “O, spirits of the House of Thorndike~. An intruder lurks within your bloodline~. I beseech you, cast them out~!”

Haiku let out a dark hiss, wriggling within her bonds. After much thrashing, she suddenly went limp. Lucy stared at her for what felt like a good minute. Slowly, Haiku opened her eyes.

“Ugh~. Wh-what’s happened?” she muttered. “A-Abigail?”

“Shh~. It’s okay, my lady,” Lucy whispered, stroking Haiku’s hair. “You are safe now.”  She hung her head. “Sigh. You were right about the Crimson Cult. I never should’ve offered myself to that wretch.”

“What’s done is done, child,” said Haiku. She then smirked. “Besides, if that skall had any sense, he would’ve attacked you before you had the chance to offer yourself. He must’ve been green.”

“Yes, he did seem freshly bitten,” Lucy mused. She then freed Haiku from the bungie cord. “May I ask you a question, my lady?”

“Speak, child.”

“Is my humanity… a weakness?”

Haiku shook her head. “Seeking to be kind/should not be seen as weakness/but instead as strength,” she quipped. “There is nothing wrong with you wanting to hang onto your humanity. It is admirable for a noble vampire such as yourself to strive to be more than a monster.”

Lucy bowed. “I agree, my lady. But even so, the Crimson Cult—”

“Are nothing but blood-crazed brutes who know only of their own hunger,” Haiku interrupted. “We are not like them. And when mortals say that we are, we must prove them wrong.”

Lucy smiled. “You are so wise, my lady.”

“When you live to be nine hundred years old, you will become wise, too,” said Haiku. “Now, we should report this to the League of Lil—”

She suddenly doubled over, rasping in pain. Lucy scowled.

“Back for more, beast?” she said, taking up the bungie cord.

Haiku turned to face Lucy, her face pleading. “Please. Do not strike me, child. Rosie’s safe, I promise,” she whimpered.

Lucy tilted her head. “If this is another one of your tricks…”

“It isn’t!” Haiku insisted. “I only need Rosie’s body for a brief time. This is the only way for me to contact you.”

Lucy knitted her brow. “How can I trust you?”

“What do the spirits say?” Haiku replied.

Lucy raised her hand and hummed. “They are… silent. Still, I’ve been tricked once tonight. It shan’t happen again. If you truly mean no harm, you won’t object to me being cautious.”

Haiku sighed. “If it is the only way to get you to trust me, then I suppose I have no choice.”

Lucy nodded and tied Haiku up with the bungie cord once again. “Right. Now, tell me who you are.”

“I am the former Viscountess of the Crimson Cult,” said Haiku. “I seek an alliance with the League of Lilith.”

Lucy snorted. “Sounds a bit too convenient.”

“You must understand. I did not join the Crimson Cult by choice,” said Haiku. “I was clanless, and happy that way. But they… they forced me to swear a blood oath to them.”

“If you were unwilling to serve them, how did you become Viscountess?” Lucy inquired.

“By lying to myself for hundreds of years,” Haiku said sorrowfully. “I am told of a young vampire who can commune with the dead. The Friars foretell that such a vampire will destroy the Crimson Cult. I seek to make their prophesy a reality.”

Lucy stroked her chin for a moment. “And how do I know this is not a trap?”

Haiku wiggled a bit, pretending that her hands were too tightly bound to move. She pointed at a jumprope in Lynn’s closet. “I see a merchant there. He’s selling Truthful Silk. Bind me with that, and every word out of my mouth shall be as pure as the finest blood.”

Lucy nodded and walked over to the jumprope. In a moment of clarity, she wondered if her other siblings were hearing any of their antics. But whether it was due to fatigue, adrenaline, or a bizarre cocktail of both, she banished the thought from her mind. After all, at the moment, she wasn’t Lucy Loud. She was Abigail Reed.

She followed Haiku’s instructions and bound her with the jumprope.

“I seek to destroy the Crimson Cult,” Haiku stated. “You are my only hope in achieving that goal, Abigail Reed.”

Lucy nodded and pondered. “Very well. I shall take you at your word. But there’s only so much I can do on my own. You’d best go to the Chancellor directly. Tell her I sent you.”

“I shall. Thank you for your kindness, Abigail Reed.”

Haiku twitched and went limp. After a minute, she roused up and looked at Lucy.

“Honestly, you’d think the Crimson Cult would find a better vessel for their communication,” she griped.

“I’m not sure what to tell you, my lady,” said Lucy. She undid Haiku’s bonds once again.

“Knowing my luck, this is going to be a trifecta,” Haiku said with a sigh. “I sincerely apologize for this, child. This normally doesn’t happen so oft—”

Once again, Haiku’s body seized up. Lucy braced herself.

“Who possess my master this time?” she inquired.

Haiku turned and sneered. “Miss me?”

“Gasp! You!” Lucy exclaimed. “Did you not learn your lesson from last time?”

“It’s you who should be taught a lesson!” Haiku hissed back. “Where is the Viscountess?! I know she was with you!”

“I’ll never tell you where she is, fiend,” Lucy proclaimed, taking up the bungie cord. “Let’s skip the niceties, shall we?”

For a third time, she bound Haiku hand and foot. Haiku squirmed and thrashed in the loose bonds, grunting and hissing.

“Your spirit friends won’t save you this time, Abigail Reed!” she rasped. “I’ve taken the necessary precautions! You’ll never get your precious master back, you hear?! Nev—”

At that moment, the door to Lucy’s room opened with a creak. Lucy and Haiku looked up to see Lynn, who had a flabbergasted look on her face. There was an awkward silence as they stared at each other.

“I don’t think I wanna know,” Lynn said finally.

Lucy and Haiku looked at each other and shrugged.

“We’ll pick this up at our next session,” said Haiku, shuffling out of the ropes.

“Sure,” said Lucy, climbing back into her bed. “Yawn~. Good night, Haiku.”

Haiku smirked as she slipped into her coffin. “Sweet dreams, Abigail Reed.”