Vacation Daze/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Vacation Daze".

Script
''[It's early morning in the city. Bobby is sweeping outside the apartment, and Sergio flies into Ronnie Anne's room.]'' Sergio: [Flying circles over Ronnie Anne, squawks.] "Rise and shine." Ronnie Anne: [Not even asleep, gets up, already dressed.] "One step ahead of you, Sergio. [Hops off her bed] It's my mom's one day off all month and we made plans to spend it together." Sergio: [Squawks] "You go, girl." ''[Ronnie Anne leaves her room. In Maria's room, she is sound asleep, and wakes up to her very excited daughter with a burrito and a cup of coffee, she's startled.]'' Ronnie Anne: "Morning Mom, I made you a breakfast burrito, and a coffee for the road." Maria: [Confused] "The road?" Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, I planned a few activities for our big day together." [She shows her mom the list, which is rather long.] Maria: "Oh, right, fantastic." Ronnie Anne: [Gives Maria the burrito.] "Now here, eat this, we only have eight hours until you have to be back at work." Sergio: [Squawks] "Seven hours and fifty-eight minutes." Ronnie Anne: "Hurry up and get dressed, I'll meet you in the kitchen." [Exits the room]

[Maria later leaves her room, with her coffee, and yawning, Rosa approaches her.] Rosa: [Concerned] "Maria, I heard you come in late last night. What are you doing up so early?" Maria: "I promised Ronnie Anne that I would spend the day with her." Rosa: "I'm worried about you, mija, you need your rest or you're going to wear yourself out." Maria: [Takes her mother's hand.] "Don't worry, I feel fine." Ronnie Anne: [Runs up to them.] "Mom, okay, so I thought we could catch a movie, Chupacabra IV." Maria: "Ooh, I wonder how they'll top Chupacabra III." [She thinks about it for a brief second, and Ronnie Anne pulls her to the front door.] Ronnie Anne: "Then lunch at the 'make your own pizza' place, then the arcade, and then the muse-" [Suddenly Maria gets a call.] Maria: "Oh, it's the new nurse, I should really answer, just a sec." [Answers] "Hey Linda." [Linda speaks] "No, we can't treat pigeons." [Linda speaks] "Even if it has insurance." [She and Ronnie Anne refrain from giggling while Linda speaks.] "Happy to help." [Hangs up] "Sorry about that, where were we?" Ronnie Anne: "Okay, so-" [Suddenly, Bobby kicks the door open.] Bobby: "Mom! I was unpacking a crate of salsa verde, and I got a splinter." Ronnie Anne: "What's the big deal? Just take it out." Bobby: [Cries in despair] "Ah, the pain!" [Almost passes out] Ronnie Anne: "Jeez Bobby, why are you being so dramatic?" [Walks over to him] "Here, let me-" Bobby: [Screams] "It hurts to touch!" Ronnie Anne: "I didn't even touch it." Maria: "Hang tight, sweetie, I'll go get my tweezers." [She goes to get them, when her sister-in-law approaches her.] Frida: "There you are, I heard it was your day off, and I need you to pose for a portrait." Ronnie Anne: [Grabs her mom's arm.] "Sorry Tía Frida, she's booked." Frida: "But Maria's the only one in the family I haven't captured, and I need to get this piece to the gallery." Bobby: [Screams again] "But what about my boo-boo?" Sergio: [Squawks] "Tick tock, tick tock." Ronnie Anne: "Okay fine, but how about she does both at the same time." [Later, Frida is doing her portrait, while Maria is trying to get Bobby's splinter out.] Bobby: "I can't look." [Looks] "Aah! I looked." Frida: "Maria, stay still or else you'll come out looking like a Picasso." Ronnie Anne: "So, you almost done? Cause it looks good to me Tía Frida." Frida: "What are you talking about? Maria doesn't even have a face yet, I'm waiting for the right expression." [The face in Frida's portrait is blank, Frida looks at her palette for a brief second, and when she looks back at the painting, there's a big green face scribbled on it; she gives a dirty look to her niece, who drops a green paintbrush and shrugs.] "Now I have to start over." [Frida puts down the palette, for a white roller, and erases the whole painting.] Ronnie Anne: "But we only have seven hours left." Sergio: [Squawks] "Six hours, forty minutes and counting." Maria: [Finally taking the splinter out.] "Got it." Bobby: "Thanks Mom, I better get back to the mercado." [Bobby races off, and Maria attempts to take a sip of her coffee, when suddenly...] Frida: "Freeze! That's the look." Maria: "Wait, really? This look?" Frida: "Yup, now just hold it." Ronnie Anne: "Ugh!" [Gets an instant camera, takes Maria's picture, and gives it to Frida.] "Here, you can use this instead." Frida: [Gasps] "That's an even better angle." Maria: [To Frida] "So you're all set?" Ronnie Anne: "Come on Mom, let's go before someone else needs-" Carlota: [Outside the apartment] "Tía Maria!" [Enters excited] Ronnie Anne: "Aw, come on!" Carlota: "I found you three great guys on this dating app, Middle-Aged Match." Maria: [Very unenthusiastic] "Gee, thanks." Carlota: [Takes out her phone] "This one looks just like Raul from Adios, Ana, Adios." Sergio: [Squawks] "But older." Carlota: "They're waiting in the hall." Ronnie Anne: "Seriously?!" Carlota: [Excited] "I know, right? [Starts putting blush on Maria] "Tía's playing the field." Ronnie Anne: [Growls, then gets an idea] "Ooh, guys, instead of having three long boring dates, how about speed dating?" Carlota: "Oh my gosh, yes!" [Carlota is so excited, she applies the blush so fast, a cloud emerges.]

[Later, Sergio, Ronnie Anne, Frida, Rosa, and Carlota are in the kitchen, watching Maria with her first date.] Raul: "Maria, your name is, como musica." Maria: [Giggles] "Right." Carlota: "Oh, it's so romantic." Rosa: "Shh, I can't hear." Ronnie Anne: [Aggravated] "For the love of... Sergio, can you help speed this up?" Sergio: [Squawks] "For the right price." ''[Ronnie Anne holds up a box of crackers, and shakes it a little. Sergio flies out and rips the man's toupee off; Squawks.]'' "Time's up, pal." ''[Humiliated, the man takes his toupee back and runs off. The second date comes in.]'' Date #2: "Alright, I guess it's my turn." Sergio: [Squawks a buzzer sound.] "Guess again." [Sergio chases him off, and the third guy comes in.] Date #3: "Well, hello there, it's nice to meet you-" Sergio: [Squawks and grabs him by the collar.] "It's not you, it's her." Date #3: [Okay with that] "Well, okay then." [Ronnie Anne opens the door for Sergio to drag him out.] "Have a good one." [Ronnie Anne is about to close the door, when her brother jets in.] Bobby: "Mom!" [Runs up to his mom, with a red stained finger.] "Mom, I got hot sauce where my splinter was; it burns! It burns!" ''[Bobby screams and passes out. Then, Carl comes up to Maria, with a toy train stuck to his butt.]'' Carl: [Jumps up on Bobby.] "Tía Maria, help! I glued my model caboose to my caboose, and then I got an itch." [The train toots it's horn, and Maria gets a phone call.] Maria: "Yes, Linda?" [Linda speaks] "Well, that's what the gloves are for." [Linda speaks, and Maria gets another call.] "Just a sec, I'm getting another call." [Sees who it is and answers.] "Hey Arturo, everything okay?" Arturo: "Hola Maria, great, the clinic is thriving, but," [Shows her a red and swollen arm.] "can you tell me what this rash is?" Bobby: [Regarding his finger] "It hurts so bad!" Carl: [Regarding his train] "How am I gonna go to the bathroom?!" Carlota: [Regarding her dating app] "What about this guy? He's cute." Bobby: "Ahh, Mom, the pain!" Carl: "Caboose on my caboose!" Bobby: "Mom!" Carlota: "Middle-aged guy!" Carl: "Caboose!" ''[At this point, Ronnie Anne is just watching her entire family keeping her mom occupied. Her eye twitches, and she gets really angry.]'' Ronnie Anne: [Gets in front of Maria, knocking everyone away, flailing her arms.] "STOP! Listen up!" Arturo: "Oh, hey Ronnie Anne, didn't see you there mija." Ronnie Anne: "Hey Dad. Everyone, I know you all need my mom, but this is supposed to be my day with her, and now the day is half over." Frida: "Aww! She misses her mama!" [Takes a photo] "It's so sweet!" [Ronnie Anne is now embarrassed, blushing, and Maria kneels down to her level.] Maria: "I'm sorry mija, you're right, I promise; no more interruptions, it'll just be you and me for the rest of the afternoon." Ronnie Anne: "Thanks Mom, and thanks everyone." Arturo: "But, what about my rash? It's spreading." [Maria hangs up.]

[Ronnie Anne excitedly leaves the building.] Ronnie Anne: "Come on, Mom, hurry." Maria: [Comes out, sipping her coffee.] "Okay, I got my coffee and I'm good to go. What's first?" Ronnie Anne: "If we hurry, we can still make the movie." [Maria gets a call, she takes out her phone, and Ronnie Anne takes it from her.] "I'd better take that, I know you're too nice not to answer." [Notices her mom's home screen is just a picture of the park.] "How am I not you background photo?" [Takes a selfie] "Come on, Mom." [Takes her away]

[Later, the two are in the subway.] Ronnie Anne: "On the way to the movie theatre, I'll show you the sneaker store that Sid and I are obsessed with." Maria: "That's... [yawns] great." Ronnie Anne: "And there's amazing street art on the way to the pizza place." [The train arrives, Ronnie Anne grabs a hand and boards.] "And after that, we can stop at the churro donut truck." Female Stranger: "Sounds delish." [Ronnie Anne realizes that she grabs hands with a some stranger, and lets go, awkwardly laughing.] Ronnie Anne: "Mom? You here?" ''[The train takes off, and Maria is asleep on the bench. The train stops at 34th Street, and Ronnie Anne gets off.]'' "No big, I'll just call her." [Tries to call her mom, but her pocket rings, and pulls out her mom's.] "Dang it, I took her phone. Okay, don't panic, she's smart, she's probably waiting for me at the last stop." ''[Meanwhile, at the last stop, Maria is still asleep, and a pigeon takes her coffee. It takes a sip and goes crazy, waking Maria up.]'' Maria: [Confused, and sees the station empty.] "Ronnie Anne?" [Digs through her purse.] "Oh no, my phone." [The pigeon starts chasing some people, and Maria takes a breath.] "Okay, don't panic, she's smart, she's probably waiting for me at the next stop." [The pigeon flies into a post, and Maria boards the next train, which leaves as soon as Ronnie Anne returns on another.] Ronnie Anne: "Mom?" Maria: [Getting off the train at 34th Street.] "Ronnie Anne?" Joe: "Nope, name's Joe." [Maria gives him a blank look.]

[Ronnie Anne runs up to the theatre.] Ronnie Anne: "Maybe she made her way here. [Heads inside and is on the deck of the screen; Quietly.] "Mom?" Female Person #1: "Amelie?" Female Person #2" "Elio?" Female Person #3: "Harry?" Ronnie Anne: "No, it's Ronnie Anne." Female Person #4: "Well, Ronnie Anne, you're ruining the movie." ''[The audience boo and throw their snacks at Ronnie Anne, and she runs out of the building. Maria then arrives and heads in.]'' Male Actor: "There's only one way to stop this chupacabra, and that is-" Maria: "Ronnie Anne?" Female Person #4: "Boo! Now we'll never know!" [Maria runs out and has popcorn in her hair.] Maria: "Okay, [Gets the popcorn off her hair.] where's another place we were supposed to meet? The pizza place!" [Runs off] ''[A montage then occurs of Ronnie Anne and Maria trying to find one another, Ronnie Anne checks the aracde, and Maria checks the pizza place. They both walk out, Ronnie Anne having got some prizes and Maria has a slice of pizza. They look around and head off, now Ronnie Anne's at the pizza place, and Maria's at the arcade, Maria now having a big pink teddy bear, and Ronnie Anne now having a slice of pizza. They both head off again, Maria is now at a cafe and takes a sip of her coffee.]'' Maria: [Satisfied] "Ahh." [Heads off] ''[The same pigeon from the subway lands on a table, drinks a coffee, then starts going crazy. Ronnie Anne is at the park and is looking through her phone, and Maria is looking at a map, the pigeon chasing people while both of those happen. They head off again, both running around the city, Maria arrives at the park and sees her "daughter" at one of the skate ramps, she runs up to "her" and touches "her" shoulder but it's just a guy that looks like Ronnie Anne, who growls, Maria smiles awkwardly and leaves. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne arrives at the churro truck and sees her "mother", her look-alike there as well, Ronnie Anne runs up to "her" and taps "her", but it's just a guy that looks like Maria, eating a churro. Ronnie Anne realizes her mistake and runs off.]'' Ronnie Anne Look-Alike: [With a churro of his own] "Same thing happened to me earlier." [Eats his churro] ''[Eventually, Maria returns to the Casagrande apartment and Ronnie Anne is still walking down the street, bummed out. She sighs and takes out her list.]'' Ronnie Anne: "Well, so much for quality time." ''[Crumples up her list and tosses it in a trash can, then sits down on the sidewalk. Just then, her phone rings and she answers.]'' "Hello?" Maria: "Ronnie Anne?" Ronnie Anne: "Mom?" Maria: "I'm calling from the landline, I was so worried. Please come home, mija, I'll explain everything." [The pigeon walks by Ronnie Anne, trying to find any coffee left in the cup it has, realzing it doesn't and tosses it in the same trash can.]

[Ronnie Anne returns home and sulks.] Maria: [Opens her door and sees her daughter.] "Ronnie Anne! There you are." [Ronnie Anne walks up to her.] "Hey, sweetie." Ronnie Anne: "Mom, what happened? This was supposed to be our special day." Maria: "I know, I feel terrible. Honestly, I was so tired, I fell asleep in the train station, then I looked everywhere for you but, my brain was so foggy, I couldn't remember where we were going first. I'm so sorry I ruined our day." Ronnie Anne: "I'm the one who should be sorry. I had no idea you were so exhausted, I feel like a huge jerk." Maria: "It's not your fault, [Hugs her daughter] I thought I could do it. Hey, there's still a little time left, we could hit the arcade." Carlota: "Tía Maria! [Holding up her phone] I found a new match for you. He's between jobs, but he's super handsome." Bobby: "Ow! [Enters holding his foot] "Mom, I dropped a pineapple on my foot and then I spilled hot sauce on it. The pain, the burn!" [Frida and Carl walk in, Frida with a canvas, and Carl having trains glued to his head and bottom] Ronnie Anne: "I have a better idea. Quick, come to my room." [Escrots her mother to her room and shuts the door.] Carl: "Tía Maria, I need you! The glue situation has gotten worse." Carlota: "You can't hide from love, Tía Maria!" Frida: "Oh, I need to show her my masterpiece." [Accidentally drops the canvas onto Bobby's good foot.] Bobby: [Screams] "That was my good foot!" Ronnie Anne: "Sorry guys, whatever you need, it'll have to wait, Mom's busy right now." [Lalo bites the caboose and starts dragging Carl away.] Carl: "I guess we're going now?" [Frida picks up her canvas and the rest leave, Ronnie Anne is satisfied and looks back at her door, Maria is having a nice sleep and Sergio is fanning her.] Sergio: [To the viewers; Squawks] "It's a living." [Nighttime comes and Ronnie Anne is sleeping on the couch. Maria approaches her and is in her work outfit.] Maria: "Hey, Ronnie Anne." [Ronnie Anne wakes up and yawns.] "I feel so much better. Thank you so much, sweetie, that was really thoughtful of you." Ronnie Anne: "No problem, Mom, you deserve it." Maria: "I promise my next day off is all yours." [Hugs Ronnie Anne] "Well, I better go, my shift's starting, and Linda just called to tell me that some genius swallowed a wrench." Ronnie Anne: "Really? Man, your job is so cool." Maria: [Gets an idea] "Would you want to come with me?" Ronnie Anne: "Could I?" Maria: "Sure. I mean we'd be together." Ronnie Anne: "Can I take the wrench out?" Maria: [Laughs, then becomes serious.] "No." [Ronnie Anne shrugs and off they go.]