User blog:Teag J. Brohman/Fanfiction - Lana Takes a Bath

This I see my Second Fanfic, don’t be fooled, this is in no way Child Porn I’m not a pedophile.

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We open on Lincoln waiting outside the Bathroom, he is struggling to hold in his pee, he talks to the audience

Lincoln: Baths, the polar opposite of showers, and my sisters are crazy about them, want proof? we've got Leni, who only takes them for relaxation purposes

We then cut to Leni taking a bubble bath, she is wearing a sea green mud mask, and cucumbers over her eyes

(Door Knocks)

Leni, startled by the sudden knocking, throws her arms up in the air

Leni: I surrender!

Lincoln: we've got Lori, who only bathes to recover from tests, and ever since she got that waterproof case, she now texts in the bath

We then cut to Lori taking a bubble bath, she is texting on her phone

(Knocking)

Lori: not now, I've literally spent hours studying for that test, can't I just get one minute of quiet?

She then proceeds with her texting

Lincoln: though Luna showers more often, she bathes every few weeks

We then cut to Luna taking a bubble bath, she is washing her hair when singing and rocking out to music playing from a radio perched on the sink

Lincoln: Luan, well, she only bathes for fun, not to get clean

We then cut to Luan taking a bubble bath

Luan: I guess I'm really Bubbling with Excitement (laughs)

Lincoln knocks on the door

Lincoln (flashback): can you hurry up in there, I need to pee

Lincoln: Whenever Lucy takes a bath, she always ends up turning the water into some strange potion

We then cut to Lucy taking a bubble bath, she is holding a wooden spoon

Lucy: oh magical brew, please tell me my future, or at least give me immortality

Cuts back to Present Lincoln

Lincoln: some of my sisters don't even bathe, Lynn doesn't bathe anymore, she says that athletes shower, Lisa doesn't bathe at all, she uses her Steam Suit, and she smells like fresh cut dandelions for some reason. But there is one person who of course, never bathes at all... LANA. And bathing her is no easy task, so we don't bathe her often (Lincoln feels a jolt, and proceeds to knock on the door) Hurry up on there!!!

We then cut to a dimmed bathroom, where Lola is taking a bubble bath, she is wearing cucumbers over her eyes.

Lola: (yelling) too bad, you're gonna have to wait

We then cut to Lincoln watching TV

Announcer: 30 people, a mysterious island, will they escape? tune in next week for the trilling conclusion of Missing, on the Nothing To Do With History Channel

Lola then walks towards Lincoln

Lola: what are you doing?

Lincoln: watching TV to pass the time

Lola: what are you talking about? Mom said You, Me and Luna have been assigned to give Lana a bath

Lincoln: wait what?

Luna then walks in

Luna: sorry bro, but mom said we would get pay, and I need to get that present for Sam

Lola: how on earth are we going to bathe Lana? It's easier said than done.

Lincoln: how about we try convincing her

We then cut to the Backyard with Luna and Lola standing next to a Rusty Washtub, where a bubble bath has been prepared for Lana, Lincoln walks in Covering Lana's eyes, Lana is wearing a army green one piece bathing suit

Lana: alright, what is it you want to show me?

Lincoln: it's a surprise

Lana then Takes Lincoln's hands off her eyes, and sees the bath prepared for her

Lana: eh, no

Lincoln: why not?

Lola: you need it, you're filthy

Lana: don't you know only big fat sissies take baths

Lana then angrily walks off screen

We then cut to Leni taking a bubble bath, she has cucumbers over her eyes, and a sea green mud mask, she snaps out of her trance

Leni: who said I was fat?

We then cut to Lincoln, Luna and Lola spitballing ideas to get Lana into the bath

Luna: how about we tie her to a tree, and spray her down with the hose

Lincoln: that's a horrible idea

Lola: how about we...

Lincoln: does it involve spraying down Lana with a hose?

Akward Pause

Lola: dang it

Lincoln: I think I've got an idea?

We then cut to The Living room, Leni is wearing her bathrobe filing her nails, Lincoln, Luna and Lola are in the same room as her

Lincoln: so, can you convince Lana to take a bath?

Leni: I'd love to

Luna: thanks Leni, you just saved us a ton of work

Lola: yeah, thanks

Leni: you're welcome

We then cut to The Backyard, where Leni is walking Lana to the Bath, Lana is still wearing her bathing suit

Leni: are you ready for the fun-est thing in the whole world

Lana: I already told you this, no

Leni: not even for this Totes Cool rubber Bath Toy?

Lana: I said i'm not interested

Lola: (yelling) will you just get in the stinking bath?

Lincoln, Luna and Leni: Lola!

Lola: I'm just saying

Luna: where'd she go?

Lincoln: Leni, you we're supposed to be keeping an eye on her

Leni: but the Rubber Bath Toy was so Colourful

Lincoln then smacks his forehead

Lincoln: alright, I guess we're gonna have to catch Lana

Everyone: Ready? Break!

We then cut to a montage of Lincoln, Luna, Lola and Leni trying to catch Lana, it then ends with Leni sneaking up behind Lana, she pounces, but misses when Lana runs away, Leni falls into a Mud Puddle

Leni: (Screams) I broke a nail, and I'm all muddy

We then cut to Lincoln, Lola and Luna discussing ideas for catching Lana

Lola: okay, since Leni is taking a bath right now, we can't get help from her

Lincoln: Maybe we need to catch her a different way

Luna: How about we use Dad's Fishing Net

Lincoln: great idea

We then cut to Lincoln and Luna sneaking behind Lana, she is completely oblivious, unaware that Lincoln and Luna we're about to catch her, they then spring the net on her and proceed to catch her

We then cut to Luna holding the Net carrying Lana in the net, Lincoln is standing next to the Bath, Lana is still wearing her bathing suit

Lana is then dropped into the bath

Lana: uhh, why the heck does this smell like daffodils?

Lola: do you want to smell like daffodils?

Lana: No!

Lincoln: wait a minute, why do you always wear that bathing suit whenever you take a bath

Lana: (annoyed) well duh, Families are watching

Lincoln then stares at the screen in confusion

Luna then proceeds to wash Lana's Hair

Lana: (complaining) gross, it smells like Dandelions

Luna: oh come on, you're gonna look great when we're done

Lana: I can hardly wait

Leni then walks out the back door, she is wearing a bathrobe and is holding the Rubber Bath Toy

Leni: do you want this? It's very colourful

Lana: (annoyed) alright, give me the toy

Lana then looks at it

Lana: wow, you're right, it is colourful?

Leni: I know, right!

We then cut to a montage of Lana getting cleaned in the bath, while Lana is having fun with the Rubber Bath Toy

We then cut to Lana all Sparkling

Lola: holy shamoley, you're all shiny

Lana: yep, clean as a whistle

Lincoln then talks to the Audience

Lincoln: that wasn't really hard at all, okay maybe getting her in was sort of a hustle, other than that, it probably went well

We then cut to Lincoln, Luna and Lola standing in front of Rita

Rita: alright, for getting Lana to take a bath, I hereby award you 30 dollars each

Lincoln: 30 dollars, that's enough to get me that new Ace Savvy Video Game

Luna: this will definitely get me that Present for Sam

Lola: I already know what I'm spending it on

Lana then walks in

Lincoln: thanks Lana

Lana: no problem

Luan and Lucy walk in

Luan: how on earth were you able to do that

Luna: what

Luan: give Lana a Bath?

Lincoln: alright, we'll tell you

We then see Lincoln whispering how to get Lana to Take a Bath in Luan's Ear

Lucy: Gasp!

We then slowly shift to Lana rolling around in a mud puddle

Lana: oh Mud, how I missed you

THE END