User blog:EnglishBoy2/The Loud House Rap Battles: LINCOLN VS LISA

Category: The Loud House

Type: Canon

Characters Involved: Lincoln, Lisa

Note 1: About time I got Lincoln in on the action right? Let's see how he does against the mad scientist Lisa Loud. Hope you enjoy this one.

LINCOLN VS LISA

Lincoln: It’s so clear,

People know what they see,

The best character in the Loud house by far is me,

Most fans,

Love the man with the plan,

Nobody ever rates the scientist that likes to go mad,

Your knowledge and lisp only bores the audience,

And no-one’s loving your mischief or naughtiness.

You’re a four year old with a bigger brain than heart,

Your scientific pursuit is rolling off the chart,

Cause your social skills are weak,

And your hobbies are… well who’s a fan.

Your experiments make me sick,

In our house surprisingly there’s no ban.

Lisa: Will you keep your troublesome lip quiet for a second,

Your way of life is underwhelming,

That’s what I reckon.

You waste excessive amount of time on comic books,

Which in college will give you no positive outlook,

I’m out there reporting discoveries that’ll benefit us all,

While you’re greatest achievement is dancing around like an ignoramous in the halls.

All of your strategic planning is for your selfish intentions,

Last I checked your idea to solve the room feud,

Was a success for approximately seven seconds.

Lincoln: Oh give it a rest Lisa,

You can’t even make your own sandwich,

Where’s smart Lisa in those moments,

Oh wait she would usually vanish.

You’re not as smart as you think,

Cause I’m the missing link,

Since it was me that stopped you from killing Lily.

Don’t you ever think?

You tried taking out Lily's vocal cords,

something we can't afford,

you could have done serious damage,

all to stop her using the 'd' word.

Lisa: You’re a dunce,

You think I don't care and won't be careful,

You haven’t a clue,

Your absurd beliefs are the most useless tool.

My actions are always for things that mattered,

Get ready because this next onslaught on words will leave you battered,

You refused to leave the comforts of your own chair,

While Lynn was being attacked by a chiroptera(bat) that she couldn’t bear.

In the episode Ties That Bind

You were satisfied with our departure which was anything but kind

Measuring up the washroom to benefit your requirements,

Of fitting an arcade which you deem the perfect acquirement,

Since you want to compare your thoughtful actions to mine,

Then tell me how all your scheming never goes according to plan.

Lincoln:  Well in life you need support and I have plenty,

By the time you get somewhere you’d probably be twenty,

Your reputation among scientists may be big,

But what is that when the audience love for you is the size of a twig,

People want someone approachable just like me,

the creepy one with chips on us is what they won’t want to see,

You may be able to solve Time Travel Lees,

But you’ll never solve the mystery how to handle the peace,

I was the one who got everyone to school on time,

And I’m on fire with this rhyme,

Saved Funny Business and Lola’s reputation,

I deserve at least a bit of credit for easing Lola’s frustration.

Lisa: I personally don’t care about people online,

You think it bothers me,

Please, it’s a waste of my time.

Because at the end of day it’s the future that counts,

And I have greater heights that I need to surmount,

You’re an overrated individual that won’t be worth a pound,

Playing games on modern technology will have no bounds,

To anything that’ll give you remote success,

And something that’ll make others think of you less.

People don’t remember ones that come with backfiring plans,

They remember the leaders that succeed and do what they can,

And working with NASA is what I would define as 'living the dream',

Instead of wasting valuable time forming a pointless video game team.

Lincoln: Tell me will they accept the girl that has no moral compass,

You have lots of chemicals around a baby and never run out of gas,

The amount of explosions that occur,

Can be heard from the corridor.

You burn off Lola’s hair and for a while she wore a wig,

you like to do your fecal studies and make it big,

by tracking the time we use the washrooms,

I don’t think anyone wants to see that,

They’d rather lie in Lucy’s tomb.

Lisa: Maybe it’s about time that I put you in your place,

By reminding you why colleagues will be fond to see my face,

See it was my gloweos that helped to navigate through the dark,

And that’s not even all the assistance that helped me reach my mark,

I use actual science to sort the conflicts of our siblings,

By using machine and that’s part of my fiddling,

With personal information that got the job done,

We may have altered back to our previous lifestyles

But it was soley because you weren’t having ‘fun’,

I handle the bills in the school and in our house,

I have a designed machine to chase away  a rodent like a mouse.

Lincoln: Mouse traps can catch them as well Lisa,

it's nothing all that great,

the pig heart that you found was enough to chase away David,

A possible future date.

Lisa:  I tutor my siblings in all of their required classes,

And tolerate the most of our youngest’s foul smelling gasses,

And all this I do without the need of some catch,

Like some tickets, some party, and cake.

Lincoln: Come on man, Luan had a small batch.

Lisa: If you had any idea what assistance I bring to this house,

You now know that I’m not just grim and gloomy,

like our good neighbour Mr Grouse.

When something goes wrong,

You’re sometimes at fault,

You don’t have the same level of respect from adults,

You’re a really lazy boy,

And I’m a determined scientist that will not fall.

Note 2: Probably didn't expect this kind of matchup. Maybe Lisa will rap in the show, if there's an episode addressing her love for West Coast Rap but we'll have to wait and see. So who do you think came out on top in this epic battle? And who else would you like to see face off? They could come right after the two eldest Loud Kids have a turn.

Next Up...

LORI VS LENI