User blog:MrTyeDye/Fanfiction: Peeking Through the Fourth Wall (Episode 9)

''[We open, as usual, on the couch. This time, Lincoln is joined by Lori, Luan, Lynn and Lisa.]''

Lincoln: Hey, all! Welcome back to Peeking Through the Fourth Wall. Today we'll be looking at an author who's been getting a lot of buzz recently. This is "All's Fair in Pranks and War" by TheMaximumMatt!

Luan Ooh, sounds like my kind of story!

[Lincoln comes in from the front door holding a load of cash in his hand and walks in the kitchen]

''Clyde: See you tomorrow Lincoln! [Walks off happily]''

Lincoln: Well, this story's off to a good start! Wouldn't you say?

Lynn: Yeah, but how'd you even make all that money? Did you win a dork contest? [Laughs]

Luan: [Shakes head] Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Lynn: Eh?

Luan: You rack your brain for an insult and that's what you come up with?

Lynn: Like you could do any better.

''Lincoln: See you Clyde! Oh man, that went way better than I thought it would! [Looks towards the audience] You might be wondering why I'm in such a good mood today and how I managed to make all of this money in such short notice. Well, you and see, Clyde and I got the idea to…''

Luan: ...monetize their Princess Pony fan theory channel on Youtube! Bring back the pie-throwing tank and let people really go to town on them! Throw after-school fights, which works extra well since they don't have to fake getting beaten up! [Turns to Lynn] See, Lynn? Those three were just off the top of my head!

Lynn: Yeah... well-

[Luan pats Lynn on the head.]

Luan: Leave the comedy to me, Lynn. You can just stick to playing with your balls.

[Lynn growls.]

[Lynn suddenly burst through kitchen growling loudly]

Lincoln: Is there an echo in here?

''Rita: I'm sorry sweetie. I'm sure they'll forget about it in a week or two…''

''Lynn: No they won't Mom! My life is completely over! And if I get my hands on whoever is responsible for this, I swear I'll-''

''Lincoln: Woah, Lynn! Seriously, what's gotten into you all of the sudden?! What happened?! Wait… let me guess… you lost a game and now you're making a huge fuss over it…''

Lynn: Fat chance. Lynn doesn't lose.

Lisa: Actually, my records show that quite the opposite is true. The latest example being last week's basketball game against the-

Lynn: Hey, Lisa? You know a lot about physics, right?

Lisa: Yes...?

Lynn: How much force do you think it'd take to break a four-year-old's arm?

[Lisa gulps.]

Lori: [To Lynn] Watch it, you. Keep your hands to yourself.

Lynn: (clenches teeth) No… I don't want to talk about it.

''Lincoln: Oh come on, Lynn. You can trust me. I'm your brother. It always helps me if I talk my problems out with someone.''

Lori: Well, unless that someone is Luan.

Luan: What?! I'm a great confidant! Remember when I comforted you after your first fight with Bobby?

Lori: Yeah, and then you tweeted, "Big sis is being a baby just because of some shouting match with her dumb boyfriend. #FirstWorldProblems"

Luan: You saw that?

Lori: Yep.

[Luan's face lights up.]

Luan: You follow me on Twitter?!

Lynn: (reluctantly) …You promise you won't laugh?!

''Lincoln: Uh… yeah? (confused)''

''Lynn: Fine. I guess I'll tell you.''

''[FLASHBACK: The Royal Wood Squirrels are called up to fielding. Lynn walks past all the players, who instantly being to laugh]''

Lisa: Who instantly being to laugh?

Lincoln: I think he meant to type "begin".

Lisa: Yes, but usually when you make a typo, you don't end up typing an anagram of the word you meant. That's a little bizarre.

''Lynn: Alright seriously. What it is it that's so funny?! You guys have been laughing at nothing ever since I came into the dugout.''

Random Player: Oh, it's nothing…

''Lynn: [Groans] Forget it! We got a game to win right now.''

[Lynn runs up to the pitcher's plate, where the audience sans Rita instantly begin to laugh at the sight of Lynn]

Lynn: What is going on right now?

[Coach runs up to Lynn and whispers something in her ear]

''Lynn: What?! [Lynn looks down at her pants to notice a giant brown stain on her butt] (Gasps) [Her face immediately goes pink as she stares at the audience, completely paralyzed from embarrassment]''

Lynn: Wha... did the author just have me crap myself?!

Lincoln: I guess your habit of holding it in until after the game had to catch up to you eventually.

Lynn: As if! I've got an iron sphincter. Remember our first trip to Pop-Pop's cabin? Well, on the way there, I-

Lori: Hey, Lynn? Literally none of us want to hear this story.

[Beat]

Lisa: I did...

[FLASHFOWARD TO PRESENT TIME]

''Lincoln: What?! That really happened?!''

''Lynn: Yeah! Some moron left an entire bar of chocolate under the seat I was on! It made me look like I went number two in myself! And we had to pause THE ENTIRE game just so I could clean it off! It was the worst!''

Lynn: Ohhh. Okay, that makes more sense.

Lincoln: How could you not notice before?

''Lynn: Because I was in such a rush to get to the game! Duh! You didn't have anything to do with this? Did you?!''

''Lincoln: [nervously] Well... I certainly didn't do it. I'm always careful with everything… You know that… right?''

Lincoln: Hey! [To Lynn] Why am I your first suspect? You're all way bigger chocoholics than me!

Lisa: True, but it's not as though you don't enjoy Theobroma Cacao-based confections. After all, who doesn't?

''Lynn: Yeah, I guess. But if I find the punk who did this to me-''

''[Enter Luan, who happens to being walking by the kitchen entrance hearing about what happened. She decides to make a pun about the event.]''

Lincoln: What event wouldn't she make a pun about?

''Luan: Hey you guys. I heard about what happened at the game. You must have been a "choco-lot" to take in, Lynn. (Laughs)''

[Lynn gives Luan a threatening glare]

''Luan: Oh don't be like that. Turn that "brown" upside down! (Laughs) Well, guess I'll see you guys "choco-later". (laughs as she walks off)''

''Lynn: HER! She's the one who did this to me!''

Lincoln: Uh… what makes you think that?

''Lynn: She put that bar under that seat just for a sick prank?! She ruined my life! I'm gonna teach her a lesson!''

Lori: Hold on. That sounds sketchy to me. I mean, Vanzilla's pretty big. How did she know that Lynn would just happen to take that seat?

Luan: Yeah, I may be clever like a fox, but I'm not psychic like a... whatever animal is psychic.

[Beat]

Luan: Hey, Lisa? Are there any animals that are-

Lisa: No.

''Lincoln: [Grabs Lynn's shoulder] Woah, Lynn! Calm down. Violence isn't gonna solve anything!''

Lynn: Yeah, hear that, Lori? Violence doesn't solve anything. So the next time I tell you we're out of bread-

Lori: Oh, would you get over that, already?!

''Lynn: [Swipes Lincoln's hand off her shoulder and pauses for a moment] Oh that's not where I'm taking this. If she thinks she can get away with this… ha, two can play at this game.''

Lincoln: (Worried) What do you mean by that?

''Lynn: …I'm gonna get back at Luan for this. Ha- then we'll see who has the last laugh. (Laughs in quiet, vengeful manner)''

Lincoln: I don't like where this is going (walks out of scene).

Luan: Neither do I. If Lynn thinks she can pull one over on The Clown Princess of Pranks, she's got another thing coming.

Lisa: Another think coming.

Luan: Whatever.

[Cut to next day where Luan gets out of bed only to realize her left hand is stuck to her cheek]

''Luan: Huh? What the-?! [Tries to pull it off but it proves no good] Why is my hand stuck to my face?! [continues trying to pull it off] Help!''

Luna: (Yawns) Dude, will you keep it down.

Lisa: Questions end in question marks.

''Luan: Oh thank gosh you're awake.! Luna, you gotta help me! I can't get my hand off of my face.''

Luna: (confused)… then just pull your hand off.

Luan: What part of "I can't" didn't she understand?

''Luan: What do you think I'm doing?! My hand is literally stuck to my face! It won't come off!''

''Luna: …okay, is this some kind of joke or something? Because I don't get it…''

''Luan: No! This is no joke! It's stuck! You gotta help!''

[Luna tries pulling Luan's hand off as Luan lets out a scream]

''Luna: (shocked) Oh my-… wow… dude, it's really stuck to there. [Covers her mouth, trying not to laugh]''

Luan: Eh, that wouldn't be all bad. I could get a gig as Edvard Munch's model! [Laughs]

[An awkward silence ensues as nobody laughs.]

Luan: Edvard Munch? The Scream? Am I the only cultured person on this house?!

Lisa: I got the reference. I just didn't think it was funny.

Luan: [Snippily] I'd take offense to that, but I don't think I've ever heard you laugh at anything.

Lincoln: Well, she laughed at my Ace Savvy costume, and then she laughed at me when I told her about my Girl Guru project...

Lori: So, basically, she only laughs when she wants to belittle someone else.

Lincoln: Pretty much.

[Lisa just shrugs.]

''Luan: I think someone must have glued it there or something. You gotta help get it o-… why are you covering your mouth like that.''

Lisa: Questions end in question marks.

''Luna: [Trying to hold her laugh] Okay. I'm trying not to laugh… I really am, but… [Luna can't hold her laugh] I'm sorry, but dude, I can't take you seriously like this! [continues laughing, thinking it's some funny act Luan is doing]''

''Luan: This isn't funny. I think this is someone's sick prank or something.''

''Luna: Dudes! You gotta come and see this!''

[The entire family including the parents come]

''Lola: What is it, Luna?! You woke me from my beauty sleep!''

Lincoln: This better be good…

''Luna: Oh it is! Check this out!''

[Luna pulls on Luan's hand, which is still stuck to her face]

''Luan: Ow! That really hurts!''

Luna: She thinks its stuck to her.

Luan: What do you mean, "thinks"?! It is stuck! You couldn't pull it off!

Lincoln: Wait, is her hand really stuck to her face.

Lisa: QUESTIONS END IN QUESTION MARKS.

Luna: I don't know, but it's hilarious.

[The entire family starts laughing, thinking it's one of Luan's silly jokes]

Lynn Sr.: [laughing] Oh Luan, you crack me up.

''Luan: No guys! Seriously, my hand is glued to my face.''

Lana: (Jokingly) Sure it is!

Lola: It makes it look so realistic!

Luan: "It"? Did Lola seriously just call me an "it"?

Lincoln: Well, you are a clown...

Luan: I'm not that kind of clown!

''Lincoln: Oh man, I normally don't say this, but this might be your funniest joke yet Luan. I don't know how you're doing it!''

''Luan: Guys! This is no joke! Help me!''

[The family walks back to their respective rooms]

''Luan: Forget this! I'll go get this off by myself!''

''Luna: Whatever dude. Oh man! You really are a funny roommate!''

Lori: So this is the one time we all find Luan funny, and it's not even because of something she did.

Lynn: Nope! It's because of something I did. I guess I'm the true master of comedy in this house!

[Luan just pouts, muttering profanities to herself.]

[Luan heads to the bathroom]

Luan: Why does everyone think I'm joking?!

[She tries pulling her hand off with water and soap on under her left hand, which begins making her hand come off]

''Lynn: Hey, Luan (in a smug manner) I gotta "hand" it to ya'. It looks like you're in a sticky situation [holds out glue bottle] (sarcastically) Oops…''

Luan: Oh, a hand pun. Of course the amateur goes for the low-hanging fruit.

Lori: What's wrong with hand puns?

Luan: What's wrong is that they're too easy. Do you know how many phrases there are that involve the word "hand"? There's "out of hand", "on the other hand", "handy", "firsthand", "secondhand", "give them a hand", "underhanded", "singlehandedly"...

[Ten minutes later]...

Luan: ... "hand-to-hand combat," "caught red-handed", "unhand me", "hand it over", "cap in hand"...

Lori: Should we stop her?

Lincoln: Nah. I want to see how long she can keep this up.

Lynn: Is it just me, or does the word "hand" sound kind of meaningless now?

Lisa: It's not just you. That's a phenomenon called "semantic satiation". When you hear a word repeatedly, eventually the word starts to lose its meaning as your brain perceives it as incoherent noise.

Lynn: Fascinating.

Luan: ..."hand over fist", "empty-handed", "sleight of hand", "free handouts", "I am not left handed"...

''Luan: You! You did this to me?!''

''Lynn: I might have. Haha, got ya! (runs off before Luan can say anything)''

''Luan: Oh… so it's a prank war you want, it's a prank war you'll get, sister! Just as soon as I can get my hand off my face! [pulls on it once more. This time it comes off, but leaves a painful hand-shaped mark on her face] Ow! (growls, vowing revenge on Lynn)''

''[Cuts to later where Lynn takes out her usual meatball sub from the fridge and warms it up in microwave. She takes it out, but once she bites into her it, she begins to sweat, and her face turns red]''

''Lynn: Ahh! My mouth is burning! (panting crazily)''

Lori: That doesn't sound like Lynn to me. One time I saw her wolf down a whole plate of buffalo wings without even flinching.

Lincoln: A plate of buffalo wings that was supposed to be for everyone, by the way.

Lynn: Hey, I needed the protein. [Flexes biceps] Gotta keep my babies fed.

[She rushes over to the fridge, but the water doesn't work.]

Lynn: Well, duh. Any spice monger knows that you don't try to douse your mouth with water. Water only makes it worse.

''[All of the milk and other liquid cartons have been crushed and emptied out. Lynn goes to the sink, but nothing comes out. Lynn runs over to the garden hose, but again, nothing comes out. Finally, she sees that the dog bowl is full of cold water. With no other option at the moment, Lynn rushes over to the dog bowl and drinks right out of it]''

Lynn: Ahh… so much better.

Luan: Hey Lynn, "water" you doing with that dog bowl?

Lincoln: Hold on. Did Luan shut off all the water just for that prank?

Lori: She does realize she'd be inconveniencing everyone in the house by doing that, right? Including herself?

Luan: Eh. The prank justifies the means. That's what I always say.

[Lynn glances at Luan, who is standing with Lincoln, Leni, Lana, and Lucy, who are laughing at Lynn]

''Luan: your sandwich looked a little bland, so I thought I might "spice" it up a bit. (holds up hot sauce bottle) (laughs)''

Lynn: (growls at Luan)

''Leni: Aww, Lynn, you never told me you were a dog. Come here girl!''

Lynn: Leni, not helping…

[Lynn blushes, which Lincoln takes notice of.]

Lincoln: Um, Lynn? What's up?

Lynn: N-nothing. I'm fine.

[Beat]

Lisa: She recently googled "puppy play". Make of that what you will.

Lynn: [Blushes deeper] Do you have any respect for others' privacy?!

Lisa: Not particularly.

''Mr. Grouse: Nice pet Loud! Oh wait, it's just you Lynn.''

[Cuts to later when Luan comes out of the shower]

''Luan: Ha… sweet revenge on Lynn. Now she knows not to mess with me anymore…''

[Luan looks in her closet]

''Luan: Hey, where are all of my clothes? [sees note on door] What's this?!''

''[Reads in mind with Lynn's voice: Sorry… Lame-o! Look outside your window! Lynn]''

''Luan: [Looks outside to see her clothes sloppily buried under the yard by Lynn] Dang it Lynn! I'm not going outside in my robe. What am I gonna do know?!''

Lori: So she literally grabbed all of Luan's clothes and brought them all downstairs without anyone noticing her?

Lincoln: Maybe she got Lucy to do it.

Lynn: But how would she carry them all? Lucy's sneaky, but she doesn't lift.

Lincoln: Or does she?

Everyone: Hmm...

[We cut to an imagine spot of Lucy at the gym, bench-pressing a three hundred pound barbell.]

Lucy: Sigh. The family can never know my secret.

[Cut back to reality.]

Everyone: ...nahhhh.

''[Cuts to Luan wearing Luna's clothes as she unburies her clothes. She hears laughter coming from her room. Lori, Lola, Lisa, Lily, and Luan are seen laughing at Luan]''

''Lynn: Nice dress Lame-o. Is it dress-up time for something?''

Lori: "Dress"? Luna doesn't wear dresses.

Luan: [Growls at Lynn]

''[The girls leave from her room. At the same time, Luna enters the room]''

''Luna: Does anybody know why our closet is half-empt… [she catches a glance at Luan wearing her clothes. An awkward silence follows, leaving Luan completely red from embarrassment] …I'm not even gonna ask… [leaves room]''

Lori: Please. If that's the first time she's walked in on her roommate wearing her clothes, she's lucky. I would know.

''Mr. Grouse: You know I would say something like "nice dress, Loud," but this isn't even nice. It's just pathetic.''

Luan: Not helping!

[What follows is a montage of Luan and Lynn pulling pranks on each other]

* Lynn opens the fridge, only to get a pie in the face

''* Luan is about to enter her room, but sees a bucket right above the door. Thinking it's a water bucket on the door prank, she kicks the door open and the bucket falls, but as soon as she steps in the room, her feet are stuck to the floor, revealing it was quick-drying glue that was in the bucket''

''* Lincoln walks onto a puddle that seems shallow at first, but when Lynn walks over it, she falls into the puddle which turns out to be deep. Luan blows a raspberry at her.''

Lincoln: Wait... how, though? I can't walk on water.

Lisa: Judging from the other stories we've read, there are quite a few people who think you can.

* Luan enters the bathroom to go for a break, but black tar-like liquid from the toilet sprays at her face

* Lynn opens the fridge again, this time dodging the pie in the face, but then gets punched in the stomach by a punching glove attached to a spring

* A mousetrap hurts Luan as she washes the dishes

* Lynn ends up being covered in mousetraps when she gets into bed

''* Lynn smugly opens the fridge, avoiding the pie in the face, punching glove in the gut, and two extra punching glove springs. She finally retrieves the soda from the fridge… only to get a punching glove in the face from the soda.''

Luan: Bravo, sir. Serial escalation and Rule of Three. This author knows his way around a joke.

[Cut to Lincoln coming back from Clyde's house]

''Lincoln: Bye, Clyde! Oh man! That turned out even better than yesterday! I gotta get to the cabinet! [Opens the cabinet door to get pepper spray in his face] AHH! My eyes!''

''Lynn: Sorry! That prank was meant for Luan!''

Luan: Ah, that's the problem with prank wars. There's always a risk of collateral damage.

Lori: Are we just gonna gloss over the fact that Lynn tried to get Luan maced?

Lincoln: Why wouldn't we? It's not like Luan never endangers her family for the sake of a prank.

''Lincoln: Man! My eyes! [Goes to sink, but the sink sprays paint at him]''

''Luan: Sorry Lincoln. That was meant for Lynn!''

''Lincoln: Seriously? How far has this prank war gone?!''

''Lucy: [holding ice pack on her head] Too far I say! [scares Lincoln]''

''Lincoln: Ah! Oh it's you. Wait, what happened to you?''

''Lucy: The stairs have been completely waxed. I hit my head. I can't even get in my own room.''

''Lincoln: You were affected by all of this pranking too. Anyone else?''

Luna: (Screams)

''Lincoln: Luna! I gotta go find her! (Slips on stairs)''

Lori: Find her how? Shouldn't you still be blind from the pepper spray?

Lucy: Told you so.

''[Eventually Lincoln and Lucy make it up to the stairs. They see Luna on the floor covered in ashes]''

''Lincoln: Woah! Luna what happened to you?!''

Luna: [Cough] Dude, I was electrocuted by my door!

Lucy: Must have been Luan.

Luan: What? No, it was Lynn. Luna's my roommate. That trap was obviously set for me.

''Lincoln: Oh man. We gotta stop this prank war before it gets out of hand!''

Lori: Luna literally just got electrocuted. I think it's too late for that.

Lucy: It's too late for that.

Lori: See? Lucy agrees with me.

The entire family has already been affected by this prank war.

''[What follows is yet another montage. This time with the rest of the family being pranked.]''

 * Leni gets attacked by springy floor board, which throws her at the ceiling she is stuck to sticky fly traps.

 * Lola sits on the couch which triggers a bunch of smoke bombs from under the cushions

 * Lori opens the door which causes a bucket of syrup to fall on her and pulls on a string that blows feathers on her

 * Lana falls through the floorboard on the front door, and lands in a pile of poison ivy

''Lincoln: Wait! That really happened while I was gone?!''

Lucy: Yeah.

Luna: [Gets up from floor] Dudes, is that why I saw Leni on the ceiling?

Lisa: No, Luna. I'm sure there's another perfectly logical explanation for that.

Lincoln: [looks up] What the-?

''Leni: Guys… could you get me down from here? Being on the ceiling this long is making me dizzy.''

''Lincoln: Don't worry, we'll get you down. Right now, we gotta stop this prank war.''

Lucy: As Lynn's roommate, I'll do anything to keep my room from being prank free.

''Luna: Same here! [gets shocked by some static electricity still on her] ZZZZ! Ow…''

Lynn: (Screams)

Lucy: That sounded like Lynn!

Lincoln: We gotta get down there!

[Lincoln, Lucy, and Luna run down the stairs only to slip and tumble down the stairs]

''Lincoln: Ow. Right, stairs were waxed… [pauses and gasps at the sight of the living room]''

''[The room has been turned into a complete battlefield. Pies are being thrown everywhere, water balloon bombs are exploding, and whoopee cushion mines have been planted. The room has a greenish-gray color to it]''

''Lynn: Eat pies, sucker! [Shoots pies from bazooka]''

Lori: Okay, who gave her a bazooka?

Luan: That's a PIE-zooka. And she probably stole it from me.

Lori: Then who gave you a bazooka?

Luan: I bought it with my own money. I run my own business, remember?

Lori: Oh, right.

Luan: And it's PIE-zooka.

[Beat]

Luan: Say it.

Lori: No.

Luan: Say pie-zooka!

Lori: No!

Luan: [Pulls out safety pin and throws grenade at Lynn, only to land on Lincoln, Lucy, and Luna, who get covered in frosting from the explosion]

Lincoln: Ah!

Lucy: Gross.

''Luna: Bogus! How are we going to get them now? This place is a battlefield!''

Lucy: Shouldn't Mom and Dad do something to stop this too?

Lincoln: Pfft. Mom and Dad stepping in to stop a fight. That's a good one.

[Rita, Lynn Sr., and the rest of the kids, sans Leni, are hiding in the parents' room]

Lana: Can't we do something to stop them?!

''Lynn Sr.: Have you seen what's happening out there?! We can't stop that! This is worse than April Fool's Day! I don't wanna get pelted by pies in my face.''

Lola: But what about Lincoln and the others?

''Rita: Sorry kid. (Regretfully) I wish there was something we could do, but there just isn't. They might have to be on their own now…''

Lisa: So instead of stepping up and acting like parents, they've decided to take the "shameless coward" route. I wish I could say that this was uncharacteristic of them.

Lana: I hope they're alright.

Lola: Me too…

Lily: Poo poo.

[Cut back to Lincoln and the others]

''Lincoln: [continuing from Lucy's question] Considering how they are, I'm not sure if they're going to be any help. [Thinks] I got it! You gotta get them to come to your rooms.''

Luna: Why?

Lincoln: I have a plan (whispers)

[Cuts to Luan running from the "field" that is her room]

Luan: [hides in her shelter]

Luna: Dude!

''Luan: Quiet. Lynn might be around still you'll never know when she's about to attack.''

''Luna: If you wanna stay safe, you can hide in our room. She'll never dare go in there.''

''Luan: No! I'll be "creamed" out there. (Laughs) But seriously, why would I go outside of my shelter?!''

''Luna: What about Mr. Coconuts? What if he gets hurt by Lynn…?''

Luan: [Cracks knuckles] Then she'll have to deal with me.

Lynn: [Snorts] Yeah, okay. I'm not too intimidated by a threat from a girl who got a D in Phys Ed last semester.

Luan: Wha... how do you even know that?!

Lynn: Word travels fast in this house.

''Luan: (gasps) Oh my gosh! What have I done! I can't let him get hurt by himself! I gotta go get him before it's too late! Follow me! [Luan sneaks around, avoiding several of Lynn's pranks, including whoopee cushions and pitfalls. She gives Luna boots that resist the wax on the stairs, which they climb on. The two eventually it to their room]''

Lisa: I think the author a word.

''Luan: Wait! (Slowly pushes door open with stick to make sure there are no pranks. A giant airbag comes through door, which Luan deflates) I set it on there just in case Lynn ever tries to get here. [The two enter the room carefully]''

[Lucy and Lynn make it upstairs too]

Lynn: Are you sure we're safe up here?

''Lucy: Trust me. Luan won't even know we're up here. [Both enter the room carefully]''

Lynn: What now?

''Lucy: This! [throws smoke bomb which blows think smoke around Lynn and Lucy tackles Lynn with rope]''

''Luan: Alright, we're- Luna? Where'd you go?''

Luna: [Throws smoke bomb at Luan and tackles Luan with rope]

Luan: We should've known! Looks like Luna and Lucy were just blowing smoke. [Laughs]

[Luan and Lynn open their eyes to find themselves tied to chairs next to each other in the hallway]

Lucy: Nice idea to use the smoke bombs from the couch Lincoln.

''Luan: What the? How did I get here?!''

Lynn: Let me go!

''Luna: No way dudes! We're not letting you go if you're going to keep this prank war going on!''

''Lucy: Same. I can't even sleep without worrying about being covered in feathers.''

Lynn: No! I'm not going to stop until she forfeits this war!

''Luan: Me forfeit?! It should be you! You are no match for me!''

Lisa: No, she demonstrably is.

Luan: [Under her breath] In the story, maybe...

Lynn: What?

Luan: Nothing.

''Lynn: Oh, you don't think I can take you down? I will take you down!''

''Lincoln: (angrily) ENOUGH! Both of you! Don't you see the chaos and harm you're bringing to this house.''

Lisa: '''QUESTIONS. END. IN. QUESTION. MARKS.'''

''You're hurting other innocent people in the process and yourselves! Is this really how you want to live everyday of your lives? Being hurt by each others pranks and hurting your own family? I mean look at what you did to Leni!''

Leni: Hi guys!

[The two begin to realize their mistake, seeing that the house has been turned into a battlefield and the family are still hiding in protection]

Lynn: Wow… did we do all of this…?

Lucy: Duh…

''Luan: (sighs) Look, I'm sorry that you guys have to get wrapped up in this situation. I really am.''

Lynn: I never meant for things to go this far either, but it's all her fault for starting this.

''Luan: (angrily) Me?! How is this my fault?! You're the one who glued my hand to my face.''

Lynn: Only because you ruined my baseball game by putting that chocolate on my seat.

''Luan: WHAT?! You think I did that?! I would never stoop down to using poop as a prank. That's just immature.''

Lori: Ah, see? I knew Luan wasn't responsible. It just didn't add up.

Lincoln: But what's this about you not using poop for pranks? You pelted us with used diapers last April Fool's, remember?

[Luan snickers.]

Lori: You're literally the only person who finds that funny, Luan.

Lynn: You joked about it, so it made sense for me to get back at you for it!

Luan: I only did because I felt bad for what happened, so I thought I might cheer you up with some of my jokes.

Lisa: That would be more logical if your jokes actually cheered people up.

Luan: They do! They just don't cheer you up, 'cause you're a little pouty-puss.

Lynn: Wait… so you really didn't put that chocolate on my seat?

Luan: No. Don't you think if it were really my prank I would've taken credit for it?

''Lynn: …Oh. Wow. I guess this really is my fault… [Becomes overwhelmed with guilt] I'm really sorry, Luan. I feel like a total butt for starting all of this.''

''Luan: I guess I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have joked about something so sensitive to you like that.''

Lincoln: Does this mean you'll stop this silly little prank war.

Lisa: Excuse me for a minute.

''[Lisa hops off the couch and goes upstairs. When she comes down, she's holding a bullhorn, which she points directly at the screen.]''

Lisa: QUESTIONS END IN QUESTION MARKS.

''Lynn: Of course. To be honest, I never liked doing this prank war to begin with. I couldn't do anything without worried that a pie would be thrown in my face.''

''Luan: Or without being covered in mousetraps... wanna call it a draw?''

''Lynn: Sure. I would give you a handshake, but I'm kind of still in this chair.''

Luna: Oh sorry.

Lucy: Yeah…

[The two untie the pranksters off of their chairs, who give a final handshake… but the two electrocute each other with joy buzzers in their hands]

Lynn: Okay… no more pranks starting now.

Luan: Sure.

[The rest of the family charges up the stairs, where the wax has wore off]

Lynn Sr.: Did I just hear what I thought I just heard?!

Rita: Is it over?!

Lincoln: Not 'til the fish jumps!

[Everyone else sits there stone-faced, except Lynn, who laughs and fist-bumps Lincoln.]

''Lynn: Yep. We made up now, but wait, if you didn't put that chocolate on the seat, then who did?''

Lincoln: I'm pretty sure it must have been Lily who dropped it.

[Everyone agrees to that statement]

Lily: Poo poo.

Lynn: She's lucky she can get away with her being a baby.

Luan: Well, I guess that's the end of that.

''Rita: Oh no it's not! I know a certain duo of pranksters who are going to clean up this entire mess in the whole house.''

Lynn Sr.: And disable all of the pranks you set up.

Lucy: Oh, now they step in to help...

Rita: I heard that!

Everyone: GOOD.

Lynn: Oh yeah sorry about that.

Luan: We should probably get to work on that.

[The two run off to clean up and everyone returns to their respective rooms]

Lincoln: I'm so glad that all of this over… but do you really think I should tell them what really might have happened…

[FLASHBACK to Lincoln holding an open box of various candy bars and being dropped off at Clyde's house after a trip to the store]

''Lincoln: Thanks Mom! This is going to be the best candy sales day ever!''

Lori: [Shakes head] Pinning your mistake on a baby who's too little to defend herself. Bad form, Linc.

Lincoln: So what? It's not like anyone's gonna punish her for it!

Rita: Glad to hear that, but I gotta hurry and pick up Lynn for her game before she's late.

''Lincoln: Alright! [Lincoln quickly rushes out of the van and a bar of chocolate falls out from the box, which Lincoln is completely unaware of at first] Bye!''

''Clyde: Hey Linc! You ready for that sale?''

''Lincoln: You bet I am! Oh man… I think I dropped a bar in the van. Eh… it's only one bar of something, what could go wrong?''

[Flashback ends and cuts to present time]

''Lincoln: Nah, I might tell her some other time. At least now I won't get hurt anymore [Lincoln smugly walks to his room, but steps on a springy floorboard which throws him at the ceiling and gets stuck to the ceiling by other sticky fly traps]''

''Lincoln: Ah! Okay… maybe I deserved that.''

''Leni: Hi, Linky! Guess we're ceiling buddies now!''

[The fly traps can't support Leni's weight anymore and she begins to sink down]

Leni: Oh no! Maybe not!

''[She falls off and crashes on the floor hard. Lincoln winces.]''

Leni: I'm okay… I think…

THE END

[Lisa's eyes widen.]

Lisa: "The end"? You mean... that's it? The story is over?

Lincoln: Yeah...?

[A grin breaks out across Lisa's face.]

Lisa: An entire story whose scene direction doesn't shift from present to past tense even once?!

''[Lisa takes out a remote and presses a button on it. The ceiling opens up to release a giant white banner that says, "NO TENSE CHANGES!" while bursts of confetti rain down and "Stars and Stripes Forever" plays in the background. Lisa marches triumphantly around the room.]''

Lincoln: You know, this was a pretty good story.

Lynn: Yeah, I liked it.

Luan: Though I still don't think Lynn could go toe-to-toe with me in a war of the pranks.

Lynn: Wanna try me?

Lori: I'd rather you didn't. [To Lincoln] So what's next for us?

Lincoln: Well, there is this one story we've been getting a lot of requests for.

Lori: What's it called?

Lincoln: Um... "Whipped".