User blog:Curious Poker Chip/Let Me Just Say...

In the past few days, I have gotten mad at Positron for his statements that he posts on here and I want to say first and foremost that I do apologize for my actions. It was despicable of me to continue to keep the argument going and to after the fact let my followers on DeviantART know. That was not something I should have done and as soon as I am able to get onto my DeviantART account, the first thing I will do is delete that status update.

However, I feel it is necessary to tell my side of the story. My thought process at the time was the fact that in my mind, I felt it was irresponsible of a person of power on a Wiki to make statements like that on a site where children frequently visit. Sure they don't have accounts like us but anyone can view this Wiki and I would suspect that the kids find their ways to the blog posts and comments in the episodes. And because it is impossible to read intent on the Internet (hence why people need to get to creating a sarcasm font), then to them and to the people on the outside looking in, myself included, someone could connotate an "inside joke" to be actuality.

I also maintain that at least to me at the time, Positron talking this way and him saying "oh I won't get banned" or something like that came across to me like he was arrogant and that he was pushing his power around. Like saying, "oh I can say whatever I want and I won't get banned because I am a Chat Mod". That is what I thought at the time and it's clear that he wasn't meaning it that way.

I also will say that Positron's statement, at least in my mind, is not a joke. A joke has a set-up and a punchline. A joke can be dark and can be controversial, but it still has to have those two parameters to qualify as a joke. To say that someone should die is in my mind not a joke. However if Positron had worded it in a correct way, like saying "Lincoln should die because blah-blah-blah punchline" then I wouldn't have an issue with it for the most part. I would still question why a Chat Mod would be wanting to post a dark joke on a kids' site but other than that I would've just left it alone. Because of this, while I am going to claim responsibility on my part for the harassment and for the other bullcrap that I caused, I still maintain that Positron should receive something for what he did. Maybe I am just narrow-minded but for me he did some harm and him getting nothing for it seems unfair to me. You may disagree with that, but I still feel that way a little. I definitely don't think this guy should lose his rights as a chat mod, but I still think that everybody needs to be careful about what they write. There was nothing wrong with that Positron wrote, but maybe this site wasn't the best place to write it on. May I suggest joking around with your close friends on Discord next time? That I think would work better.

I will take up some responsibility for me. I was trying to stand up against him because I felt that Positron was being arrogant and pushy. That was my fault and my mistake. I should not have done that at all and it was foolish and stupid of me to let the argument heat up to that point. Now my good name is tarnished even more than ever before. Let me assure you guys that I am not this way in real life and I don't know why I say and do this crap on the Internet. Maybe I just shouldn't be on here. I honestly should've left this Wiki a long time ago but I stayed for whatever reason. I guess I am just an overly opinionated S.O.B., but I do want to voice my sincerest and deepest apologies to everyone involved and to all the parties involved.

And before I forget, let me just take a minute to apologize also to DarkSuicune. It is very clear that you are passionate for your cause and I can respect the heck out of that! I am passionate for autism rights and for more shows to have characters with developmental disabilities in them (part of the reason why I love CJ). You and I ain't too different in that way. Some of my comments in the past were mean-spirited, but it mostly comes down to me being angry at the time over some of the conduct of some members of the LGBT community seeming to be hypocritical in them not practicing what they preach. I was raised with the mentality that men having romantic/sexual feelings for other men is wrong, and you are more than allowed to disagree with me on that, but I think that I would very much so like to keep that under wraps from now on and not bring it up on the comments/forums anymore. It's clear that you are doing an awesome in defending your cause because you do a standup job at defending the minority and I respect that so much. I don't want to be your enemy and I don't want us to fight about our vastly opposing views on this matter, so I would like to apologize for my actions towards you. Again, I am not a fan of what you and others do necessarily, but I don't want that to get in our way anymore.

So let me clarify, I maintain that saying "Lincoln should die" is not a joke and I do apologize again for all the conduct and sorrow and negative actions. I have no excuse for what I did and I do not want to be the pariah of The Loud House Wiki and I want to enjoy the show and enjoy talking about the show with likeminded people for as long as the show is on.

I need to heed Michael Jackson's words, "if [I] want to make the world a better place, take a look at [my]self and then make the change"