User blog:American Titan/AT's Famous Fanficks 5: "Blind Date"

Co-author's Note:A big tip of the hat this time to Muppetspot for writing this fanfic with me, and helping me to give me that spark in my career to keep on writing my very own fanficks here. I love all of my "fanfick fans" equally, but without Muppet, I would not be reviving my wiki account for this occasion, and potentially more to come! -American Titan

Tonight was a busy night for Lincoln. Because tonight, he was meeting his new girlfriend, Brittany, for comic book reading in his house. After Ronnie Anne had moved away, it was hard for the little boy to socialize with other girls. He must have gotten lucky when the new girl peeped her head into Superhero Club after school and Lincoln introduced her around the learning facility. She loved how nice he was, and decided to see how a first date would work out for the two of them.

“I am so glad most of my family isn’t home tonight,” Lincoln said to himself. “I only have to worry about my mom, Leni, and Lola tonight.” But even with only a handful of his family home, there was still room for them to intervene. Lincoln hoped to himself to make it back up to his room quickly from the front door where he waited so that the two lovebirds could hang out in peace.

Suddenly, Lincoln saw the car with Brittany in it, and her father driving. He was dropping her off for the evening at the house.

“Now, sweetie, just remember, no foul play in there. Understand?” her father explained.

“I know, Dad. I’ll stay safe. I have emergency phone contacts on hand just in case.” Brittany assured him.

“Good girl. I’ll see you at 7 tonight to pick you up.”

Brittany got out of the car and walked up the driveway to meet up with Lincoln. He was so excited and nervous at the same time to meet her again that he couldn't breathe. He was too immersed in the possibilities that she would be his new and improved Ronnie Anne.

“Hey, Lincoln! Nice meeting you here!” Brittany said.

“Buh, buh, buh, buh…” Lincoln sputtered out as his cheeks were bright red. Brittany waved her hand in front of his face to make sure that he was alright.

“Oh, um, yes, yes! The date! Come, Brittany! Let me start off by showing you all of my Ace Savvy comics in my room!” Lincoln said.

“Sounds wonderful!” Brittany replied.

The two lovebirds tried to walk right into the house, but found out that the door was locked. Lincoln rang the doorbell to get someone to unlock it, and Rita came to the door. She was overfilled with joy that Lincoln just got a new girlfriend.

“Oh my gosh, my little boy Linky is becoming a man,” Rita squealed. “And it seems just yesterday Lincoln was crying because he dropped his popsicle.”

Lincoln winced. “HAHAHA, great to know, Mom! Now if you’ll excuse us, we’ll be making our way to my bedro-”

“Wait I want to show you that memory in my photobook of you,” Rita said as she pulled out the book.

“Oh goodness, you don’t really wanna see those tonight, do you, Brittany?” Lincoln exclaimed.

“Actually, sure! I mean, it’s just showing your past to me,” Brittany said.

“Oh, and Lincoln was so CUTE as an itty witty BABY!” Rita added.

Lincoln was shaking in horror as Brittany joined Rita on the living room couch. He had no other choice but to join the two.

“So what’s this photo of Lincoln and the pink bear,” Brittany asked.

“Welp, you know, we were going shopping for one of Lincoln’s sisters named Luna at BoxMart, when Luna was still a very little girl. She wanted this Cockroaches figurine set so bad starring the four band members. Ah, they were such a great group. So we went in to buy them and when I wasn’t looking, Lincoln snatched up one of his favorite toys at the time and was playing with it in the store: Hug Bears!”

“Mooom!!!” Lincoln said.

Rita continued. “So while he had that, I even forgot that it belonged to the store, silly me. When we were about to exit, a security guard came over to take back the stolen item from the store, and, well you know how Lincoln is with his pink teddy bears and all! He just wanted it so bad! So this picture is him refusing to let go of the Hug Bear while the security guard tried taking it back! It was loads of laughs!”

“Does Lincoln still have his Hug Bear?,” Brittany asked.

“At least I donated that stupid thing to the thrift stores years ago.” a grumpy Lincoln mumbled.

“What’s that photo of Lincoln dressed as bunny rabbit,” Brittany asked.

“Next photo!” Lincoln tried to rush along through the book, but Rita turned the page back. “Lincoln, behave yourself in front of your guests!” Rita told him. Lincoln crossed his arms and made a big frowny face.

Rita began: “Oh my goodness, that bunny one dates back to when those mall photo stores were still open! Man, have days gone by. Before Lincoln turned 1 year old, we just had to take a picture of him at this young age! But we couldn't afford those expensive cameras way back when, so we took him into this store around Easter time and they had this adorable bunny costume that just fit around Lincoln's tiny, tiny head!”

“Lucky, lucky me.” Lincoln remarked.

Rita said “But Lincoln didn’t like the bunny costume. Apparently it was too itchy on his sensitive baby skin. It’s still sensitive today, with how much sunscreen I have to rub all over him whenever we go to the pools and the beaches! Linky was bawling his eyes out when the unphased store employee snapped that picture because he wanted to take the bunny costume off so badly!”

Lincoln dug his head into a couch pillow.

“Does Lincoln have to be in his underwear when you put lotion on him?” Brittany asked.

Rita replied, “I usually apply it when he has his bathing suit all put on, which is much flimsier than underwear. But you should see all of the underwear pics I have of him on the next page!”

“Does Lincoln wear boxers or tighty whities,” Brittany giggled.

Rita assured, “I actually don’t know the difference there, but here, you can see Lincoln screaming at the camera to get out of his room, and I think I see a special design on those undies… pink Hug Bears?”

Brittany giggles slightly as Lincoln’s face turned bright red.

“But that’s enough of this page.” Rita stated.

Lincoln breathed a sigh of relief, but this relief would be short-lived for what was on the pages to come after it.

“Hey Linky, does your little kids briefs get bunch up?” Brittany asked while giggling.

“Only when someone tries to take a photo of me half naked.” Lincoln sighed.

“Here’s the one I told you about earlier, dear!” Rita exclaimed with joy. “Lincoln crying that his SpongeyBobby popsicle just fell on the ground. Those flimsy things always seem to fall off the popsicle stick.”

“His face looks kinda silly when he’s crying.” Brittany said. She couldn’t hold her laughter in any longer and started to chuckle.

“It kinda does look a little silly, it kinda does.” Rita remarked while smirking.

“Can me and Brittany go upstairs now, Mom?” Lincoln asked in embarrassment.

“Oh, sure thing, sweetie.” Rita replied. “I’d hate to keep you two lovebirds away from what you were planning to do tonight. But remember, stay safe. None of that kissing with your tongue now!”

“MOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!” Lincoln responded.

“Hah, hah! Come on, Lincoln, let’s go look at your Ace Savvy comics.” Brittany told him.

Lincoln and Brittany walked upstairs. Lincoln was tiptoeing in fear that his sisters might hear him sneaking over to his bedroom, but once he was inside his room, he would be sister-free for the night.

“Oh my gosh, Lincoln. You are hysterical,” Brittany said.

“I’m glad you...enjoyed that experience, Brittany.” Lincoln replied.

As Lincoln past by several of his sister’s bedrooms without a problem, he could hear two of them talking in Lola’s and Lana’s bedroom. It sounded like Leni and Lola were talking about the latest gossip and what lipstick looked best on them. Lincoln quietly crept passed their room, but Brittany felt it would be rude to not introduce herself to them.

“Hello there! Nice to meet you two!” Brittany said.

Lincoln winced as he felt an invisible force smacking him in the face. Lola and Leni were stunned.

“Oh my gosh. Is that…” Leni said.

“...Lincoln’s new girlfriend I heard him talking about?” Lola added.

Lincoln thought to himself “Please no, please no, please no…”

“SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” Lola and Leni both jumped for joy and ran to get them both into the room. Once in, Leni closed the door, locking Lincoln into yet another embarrassing location for himself.

“It’s like, so nice to meet you, Miss…?” Leni exclaimed.

“Brittany. But you can call me Britster, too. That’s a nickname my father gave to me when I was just a girl. And you two?” Britanny asked.

“I’m totally Leni M. Loud. In that order.” Leni said.

“And I’m Lola Loud,” Lola said.

“We’re Lincoln’s sisters!” they both chanted.

“Lincoln has sisters? Huh, he never told me about you guys,” Brittany added in.

“He actually has ten of us to love and adore like the big brother he is! They just aren’t all home right now,” Lola explained.

“Sometimes, people in this house go invisible, so you don’t see what they’re doing!” Leni chimed in.

“I’m doomed,” Lincoln thought to himself.

“So does Lincoln have a childhood toy he still holds onto, Madame Lola?” Brittany asked.

“Oh emm gee, you would not BELIEVE the raggedy little thing that Lincoln still sleeps with at night!” Lola excitedly replied.

“That’s quite alright, you guys, I don’t think my girlfriend cares about that.” Lincoln said.

“You mean, Bun Bun,” Leni said as she held up the beige stuffed rabbit with the purple shirt.

“Aw, man, how did you even find that thing? I locked in up in a secret place for tonight!” Lincoln stated, shocked.

“Like, he was in your underwear drawer,” Leni admitted.

“D’oh!” Lincoln remarked.

“Do you have any stories about this so-called Bun Bun?” Brittany asked.

Leni chattered away, “I think the most memorable one was where Lincoln brought him to the, like, big shopping mall after getting his picture taken in this ugly bunny costume. Lincoln was, like, scared of the photo employee afterwards, so he was hugging Bun Bun for comfort. But then, near the water fountain in the center of the mall, Bun Bun accidentally fell in there, and when Lincoln tried to rescue him, he fell in the water, too! He got soaking wet in the magical water that makes coins appear at the bottom. We were all banned out of the mall afterwards but that was so hilarious!”

“Leni, coins don’t appear in water. Mall customers throw them in there for good luck.” Lola explained.

“Ooooooooh. So the water gave BIRTH to the coins. Gotcha!” Leni said. Lola facepalmed herself.

“Hahaa, that story sounded crazy! I can’t imagine how bad Linc must have felt getting kicked out of the whole mall! Hey, Lola, do you have any memories of Lincoln and his Bun Bun?” Brittany asked.

“Oh man, this one time Lincoln was going to camp and he forgot Bun Bun at home, he went to the camp offices and cried until Dad brought him over,” Lola giggles. “Lincoln still sleeps with that rabbit every night.”

“Wow, he must adore this little stuffed animal,” Brittany remarked.

“I know! It’s totes adorbs!” Leni replied.

“It’s so cute whenever I peek into his bedroom and I see Lincoln kissing Bun Bun while he’s sleeping!” Lola said.

All this time, Lincoln was standing in the corner, listening to the conversation and thinking to himself. Thinking about how awful the date had gone already. Thinking about how the time schedule had been all messed up. Thinking about how now, they stalled way too long to even get through the first five Ace Savvy comics he owned. Thinking that Brittany would never want to date him again.

“Can I pants Lincoln,” Brittany asked while giggling.

“Allow me! I’m an expert at this stuff.” Lola remarked as she ran towards quivering Lincoln in the corner.

“No, no!” Lincoln winced. The more he resisted, the more excited the girls got to see what was underneath.

Lola gripped onto his pants and yelled “FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!” She pulled down his pants, and the girls couldn’t believe what they saw. A pair of white boxers with red hearts.

Lola and Leni burst into hysterics. Brittany was laughing, too. Lincoln’s face turned apple red.

“What a classy get up for date night! I’m surprised you don’t have that stupid pink Hug Bear stapled to your shirt for a ‘fancy’ decoration!” Lola bursted out. She could barely talk with all the laughing she was doing. It was bringing her to tears in a happy sense.

It was also bringing Lincoln to tears, but in a not-so-happy sense.

Lincoln was more embarrassed than he ever was before. He ran into his room, SLAMMED the door shut, and started to cry his eyes out. The date was over for him, and he knew it.

“I’m sorry, im sorry, im sorry, its just...BWAHAHAHAHAHA” Leni started laughing again.

Brittany noticed Lincoln run into his room, so she left the two sisters be and followed Lincoln to his bedroom.

“Linky? Honey, are you ok?” Brittany asked.

Lincoln looked up from his bed where he lay with tears in his eyes.

“B-Brittany? You came to comfort me? I thought you *sniff* were having fun with my sisters,” Lincoln softly said.

“I thought it was funny until they pantsed you, and-” Brittany said.

“No, no, this whole date was a disaster. I should’ve *sniffle* just had it at your house. You probably won’t want to date me again, anyways.” Lincoln sadly exclaimed.

“Linky, do you want to know something that might make you feel better?” Brittany asked.

“Sure. Anything you want to say. I’m a good listener.” Lincoln said, wiping the tears away from his eyes.

“I loved the date tonight!” Brittany exclaimed.

Lincoln looked up in confusion.

“Uh, what?” Lincoln said.

“Yeah! I loved it so much because of your soft side, Lincoln,” Brittany said. “So many of my past boyfriends were WAAAAY too mean. All they cared about was sports, looking manly, and having girlfriends just to look cool in school. I could see that you care about your family with how you love your mother and sisters so much. Not many boys out there are like that.”

Just then, Lincoln heard a knock on his bedroom door. Lincoln opened the door to find Lola and Leni standing there.

“Lincoln, we’re sorry that we made you look so bad in front of you girlfriend,” Lola explained.

“Yeah, we like were just totes cray-cray over how you got a new girlfriend after Ronnie Anne left, and we went overboard with how excited we were.” Leni chimed in.

“You didn’t have to show her Bun Bun or my heart boxers,” Lincoln replied.

“Hah, we went WAAAAY overboard there, but hey, it’s just tough love for my BIG, STRONG BWOTHER!!!” Lola remarked. She then went up to Lincoln’s face to give him several lipstick-covered smooches as part of the joke, but Lincoln laughed and lightly shooed her away. Lola rolled her eyes and laughed, too.

“You must have quite a good time playing with your sisters all the time, Linc. I don’t have any over at my own house. I’m an only child.” Brittany revealed.

“Well maybe, we’ll just have to come back over here for another date soon so we can hang out together. What do you say, girls?” Lincoln said.

Lola and Leni both jumped for joy and screamed: “YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!”

“I’d love to come back over for another date,” Brittany said.

Brittany then kissed Lincoln on the cheek. He was madly dazed in how much he admired Brittany and her personality, that he fainted from her gentle and loving kiss.

“...Lincoln?” Brittany remarked as she waved her hand in front of his face to see if he was still conscious. “...LINCOLN?”

“Ahh, forget about him, looks like he’s knocked out for the night.” Lola said.

Leni picked Lincoln up and tucked him into his bed for the night. She put Bun Bun in his arms as well.

“Sweet dreams, Romeo.” Leni told a dazed Lincoln.

“Good night, Linc.” Brittany said. She kissed him on the cheek once more.

“Wait Lincoln is still in his heart boxers,” Lola laughed.

Brittany dawned a silly grin. “Only one way to find out…”


 * BEEP, BEEP*

Brittany’s dad had just arrived at the house to pick her up for the night.

“Oh, my dad’s here!,” Brittany said.

Brittany left the house with two girls giggling. Rita waved good bye to her from the living room window.

“Should we have told her in skirt was bunched in her underwear?” Leni whispered to Lola.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me.” Lola said.

She cracked open the bedroom window to shout over to Brittany, driving away: “HEY, BRITTANY! BRING YOUR DOLLS OVER FOR A TEA PARTY NEXT TIME IF YOU HAVE ANY!”

“CAN DO!” Brittany yelled back.

“AND UNBUNCH THOSE UNDIES OF YOURS, GIRLFRIEND!”

Lola could see Brittany’s face turn bright red as she reached towards her butt to fix up her panties, but before she knew it, the car turned the corner and went out of Lola’s field of view.

“So, you were giving your boyfriend a peep show, hah. Now I wouldn’t be the man to wear pink Ace Savvy panties or anything, but-,” Brittany’s dad chuckled.

“Daaaaaaaaaaad! You’re embarrassing me!” Brittany remarked.

THE END