User blog:TheMaximumMatt/Shortfiction - The Sweat Spot

The following takes place after the events of The Sweet Spot.

[A defeated Lincoln walks back in his room and furiously puts his duffle bag on his dresser.]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] I'm sorry you had to see that. [He shuts his door] Well, Operation: Sweet Spot went sour. I guess I should have known that in a family this big, you just can't control every little thing. [slyly] That said, there's a Sweet Spot in the living room too. It's at the end of the couch; close to the bathroom with a great view of the TV. And it's going to be mine! [grabs his radio] Nose Bleeder, this is Couch Potato. Operation: Snag the Sofa is a go! [wails crazily and heads out the door to catch the best spot on the sofa]

[Lincoln runs down to the sofa to see the spot in open. He runs down and sits in it]

Lincoln: [sighs] This is great.

[The sisters’ shadow appear over Lincoln. Lincoln turns to see the sisters, sans Lily, are glaring at him]

Lincoln: [irked] Here we go again.

Lori: What are you think you’re doing?

Lincoln: Bug off! This is my seat! You can’t have it!

Lana: Oh no! We know all about that seat! [Shows map on couch from Lincoln’s room]

Lincoln: [frustrated] Okay! We need to have a serious talk about you invading my room without my permission!

Lisa: Now, Lincoln. We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. Simply remove yourself from the sofa or face the consequences of your actions.

Lincoln: No! I was here first, so I’ll keep it to my myself.

Lynn: How would you like to keep several bruises to yourself?

The sisters: Yeah!

Lincoln: I’m keeping this seat and there’s nothing you can do that’ll make me- [Lincoln freezes as an imaginary idea bulb appears over his head. He slyly smiles] On second thought, I guess I am being a bit hasty. I’ll let you have this spot.

The sisters: Really?

Lincoln: [hops off] Yep. Enjoy. There’s just one problem. There’s only one seat and nine of you here. [walks off smiling]

[The sisters stare at each other]

Lori: Well, since I’m the oldest, I’ll gladly take this spot. Now if you could all get out of my way and-

Lana: [annoyed] No way! I’m taking it!

Leni: But I want it too! I should get it!

Lucy: [annoyed] Who says you get to have it to yourself? You probably can’t even remember why you want it in the first place. You’d waste it.

Luan: That was spot on, Lucy! [laughs] But seriously though, I should have it.

Luna: [frustrated] No way, dude. This seat is all mine.

Lisa: Wrong. I should claim it, seeing as how I’m the genius of this family.

Lynn: [angrily] The only thing you’re gonna claim is a black eye if you don’t let me on it.

Lola: [angrily] In your dreams, slob! It’s mine!

[The sisters quarrel with each other, resulting in them pummeling each other for a bit]

Lincoln: And three… two… one… [points to parents coming from upstairs]

Lynn Sr.: [angrily] That’s it! Since none of you still can’t get along down here, maybe you can behave yourselves when you’re grounded! All nine of you to your rooms! But not you, Lincoln, since you weren’t involved.

[An imaginary halo appears over a smiling Lincoln. The sisters grumble as they head upstairs. Lori glares at Lincoln, who in return, gives a sly smile and waves goodbye to her as he relaxes on the end of the sofa.]

Lori: [under her breath] You cheating little sneak…

THE END