User blog:InklingBear/Life of Pets - Ain't That An Itch?

Story #15 - Ain't That an Itch?
 8:15am 

It's a slightly warm Tuesday morning down the neighborhood of Royal Woods. The skies were light gray, leaves were falling off the trees, it's just a regular day in the season of autumn. As a matter of fact, it's really just another average day around the family of the Louds. Wonder what could the family animals be up to during the family's absence from this sweet residence?

Charles was outside, snoring peacefully like never before. There was nothing around the animal to cause any disturbance whatsoever. He dreamed away in a wonderful land of junk food. The dog was happy. Surrounded by all the sweets that he could possibly ever imagine. However, unbeknownst to the dog, that was certainly about to change.

Just out of nowhere, a flea hopped up right next to the snoozing animal. It stared it down as he was about to become the tiny insect's next vulnerable victim. As it jumped up to target the dog, it was unexpectedly blown away by the dog's breath. The flea's sudden bad timing got itself pushed back a couple of inches. It was hopping mad seconds later.

The flea wasn't bound to throw in the towel just yet. To the tiny insect, it was just getting started. A small hesitance later, it's determination was enough to try again. It dove right inside the white canine fur as if it was doing a cannonball. Eventually, the dog's dreaming session was abruptly interrupted by a little itch just above his tail.

Charles woke up howling as if he was in great pain. His immediate reaction to the insect gnawing away at his skin was to scratch away at his back. It lasted for some seconds to no avail. His scratching only helped with some of the itching.

The pup still felt like he was in agony. His back was still itching like heck. He soon resorted to biting around the area of the irritated area for a second to see if that helped.

It wasn't working.

Charles had to figure out another way to stop that itching problem of his. He had his paws over his head while he sadly whined to himself. The poor pup was desperate for a solution to soothe his needs.

Inside the house was Cliff the cat, sleeping on the carpet. He was like a humble angel who deserved the best. Who knows what the feline himself could be dreaming about? Eating fish? Smelling catnip? Playfully knocking stuff down on the floor? Whatever it may be, he was happy in his own little world.

A sudden disturbance dragged in a moment too soon. Charles emerged from the living room doorway as he dragged his canine rump across the living room carpet floor. His audible whining woke the cat up almost immediately. Needless to say, he was feeling a bit cranky.

The cat sat and observed the dog for a short time before he decided to break his silence. "Hey, ya better cut that out before ya get ta like it." he said. That sentence from Cliff got Charles to pause in the middle of soothing his little irritation as he glanced over to the cat.

"Well of course I like it!" he openly stated. "It's one of the things us dogs like ta do, 'n I ain't ashamed ta admit it."

Cliff reacted as if the dog's answer seemed awkward. "Oh, wow..."

He simply brushed it off like it's not anything important. "Anyway, is there any reason yer doin' that?"

"I've got a terrible itch, and nothin' I do seems ta ease the irritation!" Charles answered.

Cliff stared into the dog as he offered him the first suggestion he had on his mind. "I'm sure some ointment or somethin'll help ya out there."

"I got a better idea." Charles said.

"What's that?" Cliff asked out of his curiosity.

Charles sat down in front of the cat, facing away as he made his request. He tried to the best of his ability to not make it sound desperate. "Could ya help scratch my back?"

Cliff's eyes widened a little bit. He barely squinted them a second after. "I ain't doin' that."

Unfortunately denied, Charles had the nerve to beg the cat into doing this task for him. "C'mon, cat! Ya gotta do this fer me! I mean, I took the blame when ya had the guts ta do yer business on this carpet!"

Cliff gasped as if he was really offended. A small bit of hostility filled the triggered cat. "You swore you'd never mention that!"

Charles was serious as if he was a desperate animal looking for help, to which he is. "Well I'm bringin' it up now! Just hurry up 'n scratch me, please!" To add in some effect, Charles gave the feline his sweet puppy eyes. He was certain that it'd always change the mind of any animal or human being.

The feline hesitated for a second before he willingly accepted the dog's request. It worked. He let out a sigh first before he lifted up both of his paws. "Alright fine," he said before his claws extended out. "Let's get this over with."

Cliff casually started scratching away at the dog now. "I can't believe I'm doin' this..." he mumbled under his breath. The latter promptly sighed in relief as if it'd hit the spot. He happily panted and wagged his tail around like it's that one single moment he's been waiting for. It's like growing ecstatic when a pup's owner finally comes home for the day.

"Ahh... thank ya so much fer doin' this, pal." Charles gratefully stated.

"Ya owe me big fer this," Cliff responded. "But don't mention it."

As the feline's scratching session continued, the flea that was bothering the white pup suddenly made a huge leap into the fur of the black cat. It happened in a snap. It's like neither of the animals saw this coming. A quick beat later, the cat spat out a yowl.

Cliff's ears were irritated. He quickly placed the dog's task on hold as he resorted to scratch his ears with his hind paw. Charles took notice of this and turned around to the cat with concern.

"Ow ow ow ow..." Cliff mumbled to himself.

"What's wrong, cat?" Charles asked the poor feline.

"Ya can't figure out the problem here?" Cliff answered without hesitating. "My ears are itchin'!"

Charles was a little confused if not the least bit suspicious. The first thing he noticed was that his back was no longer irritated now. It was that moment that something had hit him. "Now wait just a gosh dang minute." he spat. "Somethin's a lil' suspicious here... I just know it."

"What do ya mean by that?" he curiously asked while he soothed his ears.

Charles squinted his eyes as he slowly rubbed his chin with his paw. "You started itchin' just after I stopped itchin'... what do ya think's goin' on?" Silence took place between the animals before they came to one true realization behind it all. "Cat... you don't think..."

Cliff followed. "That I may have..."

"F-f...Fleas?"

The two pets gulped simultaneously. This clearly was the only logical answer to their problem.

Cliff reacted as if this was some bad news. Really, it was. "Well ain't that an itch."

Charles gasped as he was utterly shocked with the pun, yet he was with him on that note. "Cat, watch it! ...But I couldn't agree more."

"What are we gonna do, dog?!" Cliff said, acting like he's about to panic.

Charles thought to himself for a second. "Well..." An idea came rushing in his mind soon after. "Let's see if there's any powder in this house."

"Ya mean baby powder?" Cliff assumed.

The two animals were in the kitchen now. Charles was in the pantry, digging around for something. The pup threw back some condiments, cans, oatmeal, until he found the bottle he was looking for to help with the cat's irritation.

"Nah, flea powder!" Charles corrected.

"Oh." Cliff uttered. "In that case, hit me with it!"

Charles was somewhat struggling to get the bottle of powder open. He shook it around for a couple of seconds to no avail. "C'mon ya darn thing. Open up!" he said before he became angry enough at the item to omit a small growl. He wasn't going to give up just yet.

The dog bit down on the bottle. He had to put some force into it to see if that would do anything. Cliff was quick to notice what was going to happen in a couple of seconds. He had to act as quickly as he could.

"Wait dog, stop!" the feline said as the flea jumped out and dove right into the dog once again. Before he could do anything else, it was a little too late for that now. The bottle burst open, blasting the cat in the face full of powder. Charles quickly took notice and spat the bottle out in front of him. A second or two went by before the cat started to cough. He had some powder shot down his gullet thanks to the inept canine.

"Whoa!" Charles reacted. He knew he would mess this up. "I'm real sorry 'bout that. Are ya alright?"

Cliff was still coughing up a storm. Eventually it would lead to the poor feline coughing up a hairball. He panted as he saw what he'd coughed up. Charles just sat there, watching this all do down before he unwillingly got called out by the feline.

"Well would ya look at that," Cliff sarcastically said to the dog. "Great job."

Charles responded back as bluntly as he could. "Yeah yeah, enough with the sarcasm, cat."

Cliff frantically shook his head from side to side as some of the powder fell off of his face. After the cat finished up, he noticed the irritation on his ears had completely withered out. He stood quietly for a second as he didn't know what to say. Charles proceeded to ask him a question regarding the flea powder all over his face.

"So, did it work?" he asked.

"Actually... yeah it did!" Cliff answered as if he were satisfied with the results. "Thanks!"

"Don't mention it, pal." The white pup said before his dialogue was abruptly interrupted as he shook around followed by another howl. "Arooooo it's back!"

The dog went scratching away at his ear now. It was irritating the pup even more than the first time the flea had caused the animal some of the itching agony.

"Don'tcha worry, dog!" Cliff said to the itching canine. "I gotcha!"

Cliff was quick to grab the bottle and dump it over the dog. Unfortunately, that little mishap from Charles resulted in an empty bottle. Tough break for the cat. "Crud!" he spat. The feline threw the bottle away from behind.

He now had to resort to another alternative for getting rid of the irritation. A couple of seconds had passed by in the day before another plan crossed paths with the cat's mind.

"Eureka!" Cliff said. He had another solution.

"What is it, cat?" Charles curiously asked.

They were upstairs, inside the bathroom now. Some hot, steaming water was running as the tub was almost three fourths full. It was just about ready. Cliff turned the water off before it got a chance to overflow. Charles stared the water down as the steam from the water rose above.

"Alright dog," Cliff said. "Hop on in."

Charles was on the verge of stuttering as he still scratched away at his sensitive ear. He attempted to make up an excuse to not hop in the shower. "I uh... don't think a shower's that necessary..." he said.

"C'mon dog." Cliff said, lowering his eyelids halfway. "This'll definitely help ya out with yer lil' problem."

Charles kept the ruse going as a small stench came drawing out, heading towards Cliff. "Seriously, I just freshened up earlier today!"

The stench of the pup crossed paths with the cat's nose. His tail and ears perked up upon notice. The next thing he did was waft that stench of his away before he made another sarcastic remark.

"I'm sure ya did." Cliff spat. "But that has nothin' ta do with yer itchin'!"

Charles was still rambling on with his excuses. It was up to the point where he didn't remember a single thing the cat had uttered to him. "Just early in the mornin' I was dousin' my fur in the rain, washin' those troubles away so I can have a fresh new-"

Cliff sighed. He was irritated with the pup's hesitation that he had to do the job himself. "Oh, fer cryin' out loud." he spat.

Fed up with the dog's chattering, he lifted the pup off the ground and casually threw him into the steaming bath, but not before the flea jumped out and landed on the back of the short haired feline just above his tail.

The one moment where the dog made contact with the water, it had him howling loud. "Arooooooo!" he reacted, jumping high out of the tub before he landed right next to the baffled cat. He got up a second later. He growled at the cat for what he had to do before he called him out.

"What the heck, cat?" Charles said in angry words.

Cliff brushed it off. He was pretty quick to jump onto the real question about their problem. "There's no time fer me ta apologize. Did it work or not?" he asked.

Charles hesitated as he checked to see if his ear was still irritated. "I dunno..." he responded. As it turned out, it wasn't anymore. "...I think it did work!"

The cat wasn't proved wrong in the slightest. He was satisfied with the plan that came across his mind. He placed a paw over the dog with a smile on his face. "See? I told ya it would work!"

At that moment, Cliff was shaking again. "Yow!" he loudly spat. This time, his rump area was real irritated thanks to that pesky flea. His eyes widened upon noticing his itch. It got to the point where he almost blushed right in front of the pup as if it was an embarrassing place to relieve the irritation.

He gulped.

The cat had no idea what to do from that point. He didn't want Charles to know where his itch was from next. Then again, he was really desperate to get that problem of his under control. He had to figure out something.

"You itchin' again, cat?" Charles asked with concern as if he noticed something wrong upon first glance. Cliff answered back with a small bit of hesitation by slowly nodding his head. "Where?"

"...Do ya really wanna know?" Cliff nervously responded.

"Never mind, I think I know where." the dog winked. "But not ta worry, I got the solution fer that!"

Cliff had a feeling he knew where the dog was going with his plan to help ease his irritated butt. Before he knew what it was, he expressed some sadness and embarrassment.

Charles took the cat outside in the hallway. "Alright cat," he said. "Ya see this thick rug here?"

The feline knew this was coming. He figured the pup would recommend this type of solution. A common activity dogs like him perform on a regular basis. "Oh no..." Cliff uttered to himself.

"I think ya know what ta do." Charles concluded with a wink and a smile.

Cliff clearly hesitated. He wasn't even trying to be subtle about it or anything. As humiliating as it was to literally drag his own butt across the rug, the cat would rather jump into the steaming bath instead. But at least nobody would be around to see the cat drag his own butt across that piece of furniture.

"C'mon, cat." Charles said. "What are ya waitin' for?"

The cat looked back at the tub. It was still steaming in there. He probably wouldn't like the contact of that burning sensation all over his skin. He would wait it out for it to cool off. But, who in the world knew how long it would take for it to reach an acceptable temperature for the cat? The cat had to make a decision right then and there. The steaming tub or the butt drag on the rug?

The itching grew a bit more intense now, to the point it perked the cat's tail upward. Cliff returned his attention to the rug once again. He sighed as if he had no other choice. "I can't believe I'm doin' this." He said, facing towards the reader now.

Still unbeknownst to the two animals, the flea had leaped out from the cat yet again before it landed right in the dog's fur once more. The cat sat his rump down on the edge of the rug. A moment later, he lifted up his hind legs and used his fore paws to scooch forward. He was actually doing it. His rump was growing soothed after each drag on the rug. Charles smirked at the cat as if he thought this was a funny event. It was enough to get him smiling.

Cliff was sighing in relief just when he was about to pause for a second. "Oh my that feels better..." he uttered.

He got up on his fours again before he shook his fur. The cat was feeling better already, despite having to do something unusual for his species in order to reach that objective. "Well. At least I ain't itchin' anymore."

Charles walked over to a relieved Cliff, still with a smirk on his face as if he did something funny, to which he did. Cliff glanced over to the dog before he glared at him. "Never speak of this ta anyone." the cat bluntly said. It was quite embarrassing to him. He was pretty serious.

The white pup's response was simple. He gestured zipping his yap shut before he gave a thumbs up to the feline. As they decided to head down the stairs, Charles jumped an inch in the air. The itching returned to the poor sap. A little whine omitted before he tumbled down the stairs.

"Whoa!" Cliff reacted as he quickly rushed down the flight of stairs. "Are ya alright?"

Charles eyes spiraled out. "That darn itchin' is back."

Cliff was growing irritated with the problem. He facepalmed a second after. "Oh son of a..."

Charles was quick to interfere. He knew what kind of humor he was going for. "Don't say it, cat!" he said. "Not in front of the kids!"

From that point, the flea somehow managed to multiply. A couple of them made a huge leap as they blended into Cliff's fur undetected as the cat utterly sighed. "Ya know I would never step into that kind a territory, dog." he said. "Calm yer buns."

Unbeknownst to the feline, Charles was back to dragging his rump across the carpet. "Ya don't see me tryin' here?" the dog said before whimpering.

Cliff was starting to itch again. This time, his fore leg was the one being irritated. He shook from the sudden irritance before he scratched away at the affected area. Only this time, it felt like it was spreading. Which this case, it definitely was.

They had no idea what to do. They already tried the flea powder and the bath to no avail. They didn't know they were facing several determined fleas to cause them to have such an irritating morning. They really didn't do anything that might have led to this problem. Seconds of scratching nonstop, tranquil fury filled the cat. He had enough of it.

"That's it!" Cliff spat in angry words. He would soon reach the point of desperation that he would try anything that'll help solve their problem. Even if it seemed the least bit unorthodox, he was all ears.

"All this itchin' 'n whinin' 'n moanin' isn't gonna help us in the slightest!" he angrily said.

Charles grew just as irritated as the feline. "I can't stand this darn itchin'!" the pup stated. "What are we gonna do?"

Cliff squinted his eyes as he stared menacingly at the canine. He was about to hitch a plan that's so crazy that it just might work. "Ya wanna know what we're gonna do?" he asked.

"Yeah, cat!" Charles answered. "Anythin'!"

The cat gave off the details. "Alright, I was thinkin' that maybe-"

Geo rolled in, interrupting Cliff with a suggestion of his own when they least expected it. "You could try some oatmeal!" he said, smiling.

The two pets were confused now. They were pretty sure that food wasn't going to help their troubles in the slightest. Cliff glanced over to the hamster. "Are ya kiddin' me, Ham?"

Charles did the same. "How the heck's food gonna help stop this itchin' problem we have?"

"No really!" Geo assured. "Trust me with this. I like to do a bit of research in my spare time."

The hamster rolled away. "You'll see!" Charles and Cliff were left thinking about his suggestion. It could work, but then again, it might not. Those words had those two pets spark up a discussion. At the same time, they were still scratching away at their irritation.

"Eh... should we believe him?" Charles asked.

Cliff was silent for a quick second. "I dunno, dog." he responded. He was actually a little bit desperate. Soon enough he grew to the hamster's idea. "But I will admit, I'm willin' enough ta try anythin' at this point."

"Me too, cat." Charles agreed. "Me too."

Cliff was ready to try the hamster's suggestion now. He was determined to get his itching under control once and for all.

"To the kitchen!" the cat spat before he zipped to the kitchen. Charles did the same a split second later.

Five Minutes Later

The two pets were rolling around in oatmeal. In their mind, the hamster's suggestion was probably the most weird and unorthodox they've ever heard from him. Before they knew it, it was surprisingly effective. The fleas that bothered to two suddenly decided to retreat. They finally gave up. It seemed too much for them.

Charles and Cliff were quick to notice that their irritated areas completely started to wither out as they continued to lather around in the product. They gasped a little before they paused and glanced at each other with a smile.

"No way!" Charles reacted.

"I don't believe it!" Cliff said. "It actually worked!"

Charles was finally relieved now. Same thing with Cliff. "Who knew that this stuff would help with all that itchin'?"

The cat felt like he would owe Geo his debt for the suggestion he had on his mind. It was a satisfying alternative for the two animals to experience. "And it's all thanks ta Ham!"

The dog and the cat got up with smiles on their faces. They sighed in great relief that it was finally all over. Victory belonged to the animals today, and there was nothing they needed to worry about now.

Up until Lynn Sr. entered the kitchen without warning. The man of the house caught a full sight of the two animals covered in oatmeal. They turned around to see the man scowling directly at the two. They jumped as his sudden appearance caught them both off their guard.

"Well Charles, Cliff." the man said before he walked towards the two. "I thought I told you two to stay out of the pantry!" He grabbed onto the two by their backs.

"You're not getting any treats for today, but guess what you are gonna get? A hot steaming bath!"

Charles and Cliff's ears perked up to the man's answer before they glanced towards the reader with a whine and a meow.

~End~

Trivia

 * The story's title was provided by EpsilonMk46.
 * Surprisingly enough, oatmeal sometimes does work on getting rid of fleas.
 * The "Itchin' 'n whinin' 'n moanin'" line references ICARUS from IIDX Troopers.
 * Walt is the only pet who doesn't appear in this story.