User blog:Weavillain/FANFICTION: Give It a Shot

Synopsis:  ''Most people regard autumn as "flu season". Lana, on the other hand, thinks of it as "avoid getting flu shots at all costs season". Luckily, Lynn Sr. thinks he has just the plan to take her mind off her upcoming flu vaccination.''

With the cycling of the seasons, there was to be expected to be the cycling of the burdens.

Winter bred traffic jams, closed-off roads, and buried automobiles; all of them succumbing to the winter snowfall. Oh, and the wind could be just a tad bit nippy when it wanted to be. Just a tad bit, of course.

Spring. Hey, would you look at that? Not a snowflake in sight. Too bad the allergens have come out to play, forcing thousands of unlucky souls to spend hundreds of dollars on allergy medication and tissues. Plenty of tissues. The local pharmacies, of course, don't find any reason to complain.

If broken AC's, swarms upon swarms of mosquitoes, and sunburns were up one's alley, summer had them covered in spades…and in giant sunburns, naturally.

Sickness was autumn's calling card. Unlike the other seasons, autumn hit the Loud family the hardest. With thirteen occupants came thirteen opportunities for the flu season to claim the entire house; just one sick person was enough for the illness to spread throughout the ranks and not much could be done about it once that happened.

Fortunately, twelve of the Louds had already been spared of the flu for the year. A day ago, they had been vaccinated, at a nearby pharmacy, with a flu shot, ensuring that the nasty bug wouldn't touch them for a while.

Of course, with a family as big as the Louds, there was bound to be that one person that could gum up the works at any given time; so much for all thirteen Louds getting treated all at once.

Gumming up the works; quite ironic since Lana was a mechanic.

"Enough was enough" was the motto that Lynn Sr. had after Lana's seventy-eighth (yes, he counted) refusal to go get her flu shot. He had given her two days to come around to accepting the inevitability, but she proved to be rather stalwart to her convictions, so much so that when she heard her father's footsteps approaching her bedroom, her only sanctuary in the entire world, she took shelter under her bed; she was still too slow to avoid her father catching her foot slipping underneath her "fortress", however, meaning that he knew to keep himself stationed in her room while she hid.

Of course, within those two days of waiting, Lynn Sr. had come up with a plan to get his daughter's mind off the procedure. That would be the easy part.

The hard part, however, was the here and now. Arms crossed, brows furrowed, and patience tested beyond their limits, Lynn Sr. asserted himself once more. "Lana, come on. Just come out of there and let's get this over with."

"But I don't wanna!" Lana cried, her panicked voice muffled underneath the furnished haven.

He shook his head. "It has to be done, Lana. You're the only one in the house who hasn't gotten their flu shot yet. You can't put this off forever."

"I so can put it off forever! Watch me!"

Lynn Sr. cracked a grin at the challenge. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah!"

"So, you're gonna stay under your bed for the rest of your life? Is that it?"

"You bet!"

"What'll you eat?"

He awaited an immediate surrender after that, but Lana proved to be more resourceful than he counted on.

"I've got plenty of food down here; dead crickets, lint, half-eaten potato chips, and…oh! A gummy bear!"

Okay then. Not a problem. He still felt like he had more ammunition than she did; a quick glance at Hops gave him an opportunity for a retort.

"Okay then, so how will you feed your pets?"

"Well…I…uh, I…"

'''Heh. Got her,''' Lynn Sr. thought as he pressed on.

"And how are you going to pass the first grade?"

"Ummm…"

His grin grew wider at the latest tactic that sprang to mind. "And more importantly than that, won't you miss your friends and family?"

He knew he got her with that one. She didn't even offer an attempt at fighting back. Sure enough, Lana poked her head out from the under bed, puppy dog eyes and a whimpering lip adorning her face.

"I guess you're right," she said sorrowfully. "Just gimme a second, okay?"

Lana, though not with any real effort, shimmied out, taking a few seconds to brush away the dust bunnies that clung to her clothes (she didn't mind them, but she knew her father would).

All the while, Lynn Sr. waited on her, smiling at the fact that even reluctantly, Lana was finally accepting the-hey!

Giving chase, it only took him about five seconds to catch up to her sprinting daughter, who that it'd be very clever to try and dash away by slipping past his legs, and catch her up her overalls. He hoisted up the peeved girl in his arms, holding her from underneath her armpits with both hands.

"Nice try, young lady," Lynn Sr. chided, a triumphant smirk and a raised eyebrow accentuating his victory. "You're not slipping away that easily."

He got puffed cheeks, a grump scowl, and folded arms for his troubles. But he'd do her better; he'd give her words of encouragement to ensure her that she had nothing to fear.

"Lana, it's not as bad as you think. It's just a little flu shot."

Lana's mouth formed into a sad frown. "Yeah, but it'll still hurt, y'know."

"Yes, Lana, flu shots can hurt, but we need them so we don't get sick, especially in a house this big; colds and flu spread like wildfire whenever one of us gets ill."

Without another word, Lana seemingly relented, sighing in defeat. "Okay, okay, I'll go."

"Good." He placed her down, taking a moment to pat her on the head. "Now, let's get to the van, alright?"

Before he could take a step forward, he felt a tug at his pants leg. Looking down, he found Lana shyly staring back at him.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Lana?"

The shyness melted away quickly, leaving a manic grin and a resolve for mischief. "Think fast!"

Once again, she broke away, bounding through the hallways at a blinding speed.

Yes! Freedom at last! She could practically feel herself running on air; she must've been way faster than she thought.

…

Oh wait. Hold on.

A downward glance confirmed her suspicions; she was running on air. Literally. Prior to her discovery, her feet were dangling around helplessly, in a running motion, as she was, once again, suspended in midair.

"Let's not try that again, okay, Lana?"

"Dang it."

Lynn Sr. guffawed. Oh sure, she'd be saying that now but with his "Plan B", it was only a matter of time before the shot went off without a hitch.

And unlike most "Plan B's", the "B" actually stood for something.

Nearly half an hour of conversation, between her father and some of the Goodwill pharmacists, passed before Lana, held captive by the hand from her own father, was led towards the patient consultation room.

As she scanned the area for a quick getaway, her frantic eyes came across a banner hanging from the ceiling above her head.

It was a promotional ad for the flu vaccinations that Goodwill was offering; she started sweating bullets at the long needle that the cartoon-looking pharmacist held in her hands.

She gripped her dad's hand harder, spurring his attention and wherewithal of her situation immediately. "It's okay, sweetie. You'll be fine."

She was too fixated on her apprehension to be offended at being called "sweetie" and the feeling of dread, pattering in her gut like heavy rainfall, only intensified when they finally arrived in the back of the store; a perfect place to pull off a heinous act with as few witnesses as possible to stop it.

The door they came to finally opened, and a thin woman, wearing a white-colored, standard pharmacist garb, greeted them. Her perky blonde bun and ruby red-painted smile were ultimately ineffective at mollifying Lana's fears. Her ever observant vision spotted her nametag.

Veronica, eh? She supposed monsters had names, too.

"Why, hello there."

She knew the address, as endearing as she allowed it to sound, was for her but she didn't care; taking refuge behind her father's leg was the only response she felt that Veronica deserved.

"Lana," Lynn Sr. said sternly, "don't be rude. Say 'hi'."

Her lumpy throat refused to cooperate for a few seconds but she finally uttered, strained and all, "H-hi."

Veronica chuckled. "She scared of getting a shot?"

"Like you wouldn't believe," Lynn Sr. said amusedly, letting out a short laugh of his own.

Lana frowned. How insensitive could her father be at a time like this?! Her only daught…okay, okay, one of his precious daughters was about to get pricked by a painfully sharp needle, and all he could do was laugh it up?

Her indignation quickly crumbled to her crippling anxieties about her fate as she was pulled into the room, Veronica following them. She was frozen up, not mindful of the door closing behind her until the *click* made her jump.

"Now, just get her seated over there," Veronica said as she pointed at the black chair before her, "and we can get started right away."

Even with everything she was going to endure, she promised herself that she wouldn't cry. A promise, however, could only carry her so far.

A tear trickled down her face, a preamble to sniffles and quivering as her father lead her into the chair. She couldn't force her eyes shut, not when her fear-fueled hyperawareness caught a glimpse of the syringe needle in Veronica's latex gloved hand.

Despite everything, she just couldn't look away. That…thing was about to be stuck in her arm and as Veronica approached, that taunting smile still plastered on her face, all she could think about were the myriad of stimuli she would be subjected to:

The blinding, hot pain, the sickening plunge of the needle through her skin and muscles, the squealing she'd emit, the helplessness as she was forced to sit still.

All of them hurt before and they'd sure to do so again.

Lynn Sr. brought his hand forward and touched her gently against her cheek.

"Lana." His heart ached when she didn't look to him for purchase. "Lana, look at me. Everything's going to be okay."

His words rung hollow, seizing nothing in the wake of Lana's foreboding. He felt her squirm a little as the sleeve of her right shirt was rolled up and her skin was patted down by an alcohol pad.

"It'll only be a little pinch, okay?" Veronica said sweetly as she sued her free hand to make a small gap between her forefinger and thumb. "Just a liiiiiiitle pinch."

Again, Lana's hyperventilating and clenched teeth were all any words of assurance were replied with. Slowly, the needle inched forward, spurring Lana's beating heart into a frenzy.

 'Now!'  Lynn Sr. thought, gasping in fraudulent wonder before he pointed up in the air. "Woah! Check out that three-horned rhinoceros beetle!"

Lana's eyes widened as she beamed, looking towards where her father was pointing.

"Where?!" she cried, looking around the ceiling as quickly for the exotic insect.

A three-horned rhinoceros beetle?! In this neck of the Royal Woods?! Heck, in this country?! She just had to see it for herself! She couldn't allow such a magnificent-looking, nonnative creature out of her sights!

"Where'd the beetle go?!" Lana exclaimed, as giddy and antsy as she remembered herself ever being before. "Dad, come on! Where is it?!"

Instead of a helpful answer, she heard Veronica say, "All done."

Lana blinked, quelling her excitable nerves as puzzlement settled upon her. "Huh?"

She looked toward her dad, who seemed to be none the wiser. All he could do was grin sheepishly and shrug. "Sorry, Lana. Guess it was just my imagination."

"What? But I was…" She spun around and looked back at Veronica, who was applying a band-aid over her arm. "…a-and you just-"

"Like she said, Lana, we're done," Lynn Sr. said. "You just got your shot."

"But I didn't even feel it."

A cheeky grin replaced his soft smile. "Huh. How about that?"

Though she was clearly disappointed that the elusive three-horned rhinoceros beetle was nowhere in sight, Lynn Sr. took pride in her daughter's satisfied smile, thrilled that her "ordeal" had come to an end.

"Thanks for everything, Veronica," Lynn Sr. said, offering the woman a handshake, which she gladly reciprocated in kind.

"Don't mention it, Mr. Loud, but don't forget to take these with you," she said as she turned to walk away from them to retrieve something from the corner of the room.

Instead of questioning what that "something" was, both father and daughter waited for Veronica to return…

…and grinned from ear-to-ear at what Veronica had procured; an open glass jar, filled to the brim with lollipops. She pulled out a green one and handed it off to Lana.

"One for the good patient," she said before she grabbed a blue one and gave it to an eager Lynn Sr., "and one for the good dad."

Lynn Sr. squealed. "And it's blueberry?! Yes!"

The drive home, unlike the one towards Goodwill, wasn't a tense, morbid experience for Lana. She happily sucked on her lollipop, admiring the rocketship band-aid that covered her wound.

"So, Lana, what'd you think about your flu shot?" Lynn Sr. asked.

She pulled out the treat before she answered, full of bravado, "Easy-peasy."

He wasn't sure of the answer. At least, for now. Admittedly, his questionable approach had helped in distracting Lana but only in distracting. It wouldn't be long before they'd be in this spot again, and Lynn Sr. needed to know if she was ready for next time, whether there was a distraction available or not.

"'Easy-peasy', huh? You know we'll have to come back in about a month, right? You need a second shot."

"Pssh. I can take it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. Not a problem."

 One month later… 

Lynn Sr. sighed, looking down at Lana's bed.

Not a problem? So much for that. Once again, Lana was cowering under the bed, refusing to come out in fear of what she'd have to go through.

Lynn Sr. knew that one of these days, she would have to get over this with her own conviction but for now, he had some work to do.

'Now, let's see, what other insects does Lana find fascinating?'