User blog:AustinDR/The Kids React to Mr. Krabs' Unquenchable Bloodlust

Lincoln: Well, it's been a long time, but we have another suggestion, guys.

Lori: This better be a good one.

Lana: What is it, Lincoln?

Lincoln: A YouTube Poop.

Lola: (gasps) People take videos of their....and they put it on YouTube?! I think I'm gonna be sick...

Lincoln: No, it's not that. It's where you take clips from shows or movies, and then splice them together.

Lisa: Are they supposed to make any sense whatsoever?

Lincoln: Usually not, but in this case, there's a story behind it.

Lori: Well, tell us what it is, we're dying from the suspense.

Lincoln: Mr. Krabs' Unquenchable Bloodlust.

Lucy: Sounds interesting.

Lola: Yeah, of course, that'd peak your interest.

Lincoln: Anyway, let's sit back and watch this.

(Lincoln clicks on the link of the video, and we're taken to SpongeBob and Patrick entering into Mr. Krabs' tent. While they unroll a treasure map, loud noises and flashy images pop onto the screen.)

Lola: Dangit, Lincoln, are you trying to make us deaf?!!

Lincoln: Note to self: always lower the volume.

Patrick: SpongeBob, do you notice something familiar about this map?

Krabs: (from behind, holding a chainsaw) Do you think this is a problem?

Leni: Oh my gosh!!

(We then cut to 3 days later with Krabs freaking out about the Health Inspector from "Nasty Patty.")

Krabs: The health inspector!

(Suddenly, a news anchorman appears on the television screen.)

Announcer: Be on the look out for a man whose been passing himself off as a health inspector in order to obtain free food!

Lana: Oh, yeah, I remember that epi...

(Fire forms around Mr. Krabs as the realization dawned on him. Mr Krabs then rages.)

Krabs: FREE FOOD?!!!

Luan: Oh no.

Krabs: We have to do everything in our power to KILL him!

Luna: Murder him, really? Over free food?

(Mr. Krabs then puts potassium cyanide onto a Krabby Patty.)

SpongeBob: This doesn't seem right.....

Krabs: Join me boy, or you're fired!

(SpongeBob hands the health inspector his patty.)

SpongeBob: Here you are, sir, enjoy!

(The health inspector starts to choke.)

Krabs: That patty killed him. The deed is done; we have to get rid of the body before anyone sees it!

(They bury the health inspector)

Krabs: They don't need air where he's going.

Luan: That's one halibut of a claim! Ha, ha! Get it?

Lori: This video got dark really fast.

Mr. Krabs: Listen here you little (bleep)! No one, and I mean no ONE can ever know about this!

(A police car rolls up)

Lana: Except for the police car that just pulled up.

Police Officer: I'm afraid we're going to have to arrest the two of you for not being at the Krusty Krab to whip us up a couple of deli.....

(He gets cut off by Krabs as he shoots the two officers to death; he then incinerates the car with a flamethrower much to SpongeBob's horror.)

Lucy: I'm really enjoying this.

(Krabs starts to have nightmares about his delusional self telling him to kill more.)

Krabs: STOP IT!!! Can't you here it?! Mommy, make it stop!!

Squidward: Um, SpongeBob have you noticed that Mr. Krabs has gone....COMPLETELY INSANE?!!

Lynn: (sarcastically) Gasp! I never would've guessed.

Leni: (unaware of her sarcasm) I thought that was obvious.

(Squidward evacuates the customers whilst SpongeBob calls the authorities. They then enter into Mr. Krabs' office.)

Krabs: Oh, hello boys!

(They suddenly beat him up, and the authorities arrive.)

Krabs: You little, yellow (bleep)!

Luna: That's from Robot Chicken, dudes!

Lori: If this video couldn't get anymore inappropriate enough (well for the younger ones, but who cares).

Krabs: I trusted you, and you gave me this? I can't believe me own crew would betray me like this!! I'll have your rear ends cut off, and mounted over me fire place!!!!

(Two police officers jump through the ceiling and pulverize Krabs with their sticks.)

Lana: What, police officers are ninjas now?

(The next scene shows Mr. Krabs being in the city jail. Music from Office Space starts to play; the siblings start to rock out to the music.)

Lincoln: Don't do any funny business, guys. The least that I need is for one of you to smash the computer with a baseball bat.

Mr. Krabs: I know what you're thinking: it's just a dumb old dollar! Let's just leave the old man, he wouldn't notice!

Lynn: Sorry, Mr. Krabs, but you deserve to be behind bars.

Krabs: Well, it's not going down like that! There's only one use for a BACKstabbin' crew like you!! (He starts to transform)

Leni: No, what's happening now!?

(Moar Krabs appears)

Lincoln: He transformed into Moar Krabs!!

Squidward: Well, Squidward, you've really outdone yourself.

Luna: By what?

Squidward: I guess  I do feel bad for Mr. Krabs..

Lily: Poo poo!!

Squidward: Oh, it'll pass. Everything will be fine.

(He has a imagination spot where SpongeBob's alone at the Krusty Krab, only for it to be interrupted by Mr. Krabs burning the restaurant down.)

Lana: All of this because of free food.

(They then have Mr. Krabs spazzing out and doing several strange things. Two wardens walk by.)

Warden: What the barnacles is going on in here?

(Mr. Krabs rips both of their faces off and escapes through the drainage system.)

Lori: I think I've seen that before.

(Squidward barracades his door.)

Lisa: Seems as though Squidward's...unstable.

(Squidward starts to wash himself in his bathtub.)

Lori: Since when did Squidward have curtains in his bathroom?

(An axe starts to tear the door down. Squidward screams in surprise.)

Luan: Here's Krabby!!

Krabs: OH YEAH, MR. KRABS!!

(Squidward gets killed by the axe, his blood splattering on the window.)

Lisa: A double window?

(SpongeBob and Patrick read a newspaper about Krabs' escape.)

SpongeBob: It's not save in Bikini Bottom anymore!!

(They run out of town and arrive to the tent from the beginning.)

SpongeBob: Oh my gosh! Mr. Krabs is a deranged maniac who keeps his victims' severed heads in a box!!

Krabs: Alright, boys, you know what I'm about to do now?

(SpongeBob and Patrick run away.)

Krabs: Because I can feel it; you wanna know what I'm feelin'?! I'M FEELIN' LIKE A TOTAL: BARNACLEHEAD!!!

Leni: AHH!!!! Floating head!

(Patrick gets caught in a lasso and is pulled away; a small explosion happens in the background.)

Lana: Patrick's dead...

Lola: Well, he was getting pretty bad in seasosn 4-9.

(SpongeBob makes it home. He receives an anonymous phonecall, afterwhich Krabs cuts the power to his house.)

Luna: Can it get any worse?

(Patrick opens teh front door to SpongeBob's house, and enters into it.)

SpongeBob: Patrick, is that you?

(Patrick slides his face down, revealing Krabs underneath.)

Lincoln: He killed :Patrick and took his skin!

Lucy: Yes, Krabs...end the sponge.

SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, stand back, I'm warning ya!!

Krabs: For a second there, I mistook you for a friend, but you're just dirty little man!

SpongeBob: NOOOO!!!!!

Krabs: So long, SpongeBob!

(SpongeBob has a bomb strapped to his chest.)

Krabs: What are you doing with that?

SpongeBob: Something that  should've been done a LONG time ago!

(The bomb detonates, ending Krab's killing spree. "Thriller" plays.)

Lincoln: Hm....so SpongeBob sacrificed himself so that Krab's killing spree could be brought to an end. That's really sad. But it's also...

Patrick: Everyone died. The end!

SpongeBob: (Bleep) you, Patrick.

Luan: Ha!

Lori: That was pretty much something.

Luna :I don't know what to say here. The video was all over the place.

Lynn: It was actually pretty well-edited, and it was actually a comprehensible story. For the most part.

Lisa: I can't fathom why this person would use his talents for some SpongeBob parody, but this was enjoyable.

Lucy: It started slow for me, but then I started to love it.

Lana: Though this does make me reconsider getting a crab as a pet.

Lola: Charles probably would've eaten it.

Lana: True.

Lincoln: Well, that was Mr. Krabs' Unquenchable Bloodlust. Thanks for the recommendation. And we're out of here.

(Lincoln turns off the computer, and he follows his siblings out of the room. With the lights turned off, the computer began to shut down, only to suddenly stop. The computer glitches a few times before the screen became red as blood. A low laugh emits from the computer.)

?: MOAR!