Board Thread:Fun and Games at TLH/@comment-26253276-20180103101820/@comment-26253276-20180106011614

Lori looks to the logger.

Lori: And thanks to you, I didn't have to eat one of my own siblings.

Logger: No problem! I'll help you if you ever get hungry! I cut down apple trees for a living.

Lori turns back to the news crew.

Lori: Could we get on with live footage of me?

Cameraman: Rolling in three, two, one.

Newswoman: Thank you, Patchy Drizzle. We are at Detroit, where Lori has last been seen. Here she is in all her glory, standing in the middle of Randolph Avenue, just north of East Congress Street.

The cameraman pans up the camera to show Lori looking down. Lori waves.

Lori: Hi!

The cameraman pans back down.

Newswoman: Due to hunger, she was nearly forced to eat one of her own siblings until a logger cut down a full apple tree, which she promptly emptied.

Lori: I heard the world's largest meatball weighed 1,110 pounds.*


 * Source: http://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/world-records/largest-meatball

Newswoman: According to a man whose car ran out of gas, she is also kind.