User blog:Discofurby/Many Superpowers Over the Loud House

This is a parody of One Flu Over the Loud House. It's not meant to be taken seriously, it's sort of AU, and it's based off a weird dream I had. In the dream, a family were developing powers one by one and people were acting as though they were less than human. It reminded me of how in the episode, Lincoln was treating the family like zombies when actually they were just sick. So, here's my parody.

One Saturday morning, Lincoln woke up. "Aah, the sweet sound of silence," he said to himself, then he noticed the oddity of it being silent: his family weren't called the 'Louds' for nothing, and normally, they were even louder on Saturdays because they didn't have to hurry and get ready for school or work.

"That never happens on a Saturday, I must be the first one up," he observed, looking at his clock.

"Wait a minute," he said, noticing the time, "Ten A.M.?! How could it be this quiet this late?".

Brushing it off, he got dressed, straightened out his hair, and walked down the hall. He noticed that there was a curious sign on Lana and Lola's bedroom door that read, "Come here to have your fortune told." Then, the twins walked out, but Lana was covered in ice and Lola was dressed as a fortune teller.

Just then, he saw Lori., "Lori," he said, "What's happening to the---", but then she dashed past, faster than he thought was humanly possible. He looked behind him and saw that Lynn was there, holding out her hand, and her basketball was floating above it.

Just then, Lisa pulled him into her and Lily's room and Luna and Luan grabbed hold of him. "Can you do anything unusual?" asked Luna.

"Not particularly," said Lincoln, confused.

"He's good," said Lincoln, "Let him go," and Luna and Luan did just that.

"Will someone please tell me what the heck is going on?" asked Lincoln.

"Haven't you heard?" asked Lisa, "This morning our family began to spontaneously develop superhuman abilities. Or as they're known on the street... superpowers."

"Now, you might think that it's cool that our family are developing superpowers, but you see, a week ago, all of us, and Clyde, saw a movie where a family developed powers and they all became psycho as a side effect. We weren't just talking powers, we were talking... an apocalypse!"

"The first sighting was in Lori's room," said Lisa, and she explained about how Lori had run downstairs with superhuman speed and then Lynn had started levitating her baseball around. Then, Lana had developed ice powers like Elsa from Frozen, and Lola had become psychic, shouting, "Mom! Lana's about to drink from the carton! And now she's about to lick Charles's face!".

"Okay," said Lisa, "the only people who have not inexplicably developed powers are you, me, Leni, Luan, Luna, and Lucy."

Just then, Lincoln suddenly noticed Lucy there. "Wait! Lucy can teleport!" he said.

"Incorrect," said Lucy, "I always get around this way."

"Well," said Lisa, "I suggest we vacate the premises, just in case our sisters are losing their cognitive abilites."

"I'm on it," said Lincoln, getting out his walkie-talkie, "Loud Brother to Safe Haven, my sisters are developing powers!"

Clyde, who had been having nightmares because of the movie, spat out his cereal. "Like in the movie?!" he said, "Lincoln, give it to me straight. Did Lori develop powers?"

"Affirmitave," said Lincoln, sighing.

"WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!" said Clyde dramatically, before adding, "Sorry. I know we can't afford the luxury of grief right now. I'll have everything ready. And I'll make lunch for you too. How many of you don't have powers?"

"Six," said Lincoln, but then he noticed that Luan appeared to be levitating and added, "Make that five."

"Guys, no," said Luan, "Fly can explain!", then burst out laughing and floated up to the ceiling.

"She's one of them," said Lisa, "Get her out!" and they lassooed Luan and pulled her out of the room.

"Guys," said Leni, "Don't you think we should wait until they actually show signs of it before assuming they're losing their minds? After all, they are our family."

"No, dude," said Luna, "It's too late for them, but not for us."

"Everyone, out of the house," said Lincoln.

"Wait," said Lisa, "We can't just go out there with our proverbial keisters hanging out," and she pressed a button that opened a closet, full of squirt guns. She handed them around, proclaiming, "These weapons loaded with dihydrogen monoxide will slow down anyone who approaches us."

"I'm not sure this is," said Leni, but Lisa said, "LOCK AND LOAD PEOPLE!" and they went outside of the house.

They moved into the hall, with Lincoln giving a warning that they could be anywhere. Then, he saw Luan flying out of her room. "Luna! Three o'clock!", he shouted, and Luna squirted water into Luan's mouth, causing her to fall to the ground. Then, Lola, still wearing her fortune teller's outfit, approached in her Princess Car.

"Lisa! Six o'clock!" he shouted.

"Drink cold water!" said Lisa, firing the water gun at Lola, causing her to crash (she didn't have complete knowledge of the future, she only had occasional premonitions).

"Leni, nine o'clock!", said Lincoln.

"Lincoln, make up your mind," said Leni missing the point, "What time is it?".

"Behind you," clarified Lincoln, but due to Lori's superhuman speed, she was out of the way before Leni could fire.

"Hey, you dropped your phone," said Leni, trying to hand the phone back to Lori, but Lincoln got there first and rammed Lori back into her her room.

"Lincoln, where's your heart?!" exclaimed Leni.

"Where's your brain?" replied Lincoln, "We're trying to stay alive here!".

"Luna's going to have powers now," said Lola, and Luan flew over to Luna, who then turned invisible: all that could be seen were her clothes.

"Evacuate!" shouted Lincoln, and he ran towards the stairs, followed by Lana, who was generating snowballs and throwing them at people. Luan flew, Lola drove, and Lynn, still showing off her psychokinesis, and the still-invisible Luna walked, towards them.

"Think, Loud," said Lincoln to himself, "What did they do in the movie? Wait, I got it," and he started pretending to shoot lasers from his fingers.

"Whoa, Lincoln's one of them now," said Lucy.

"In that case," said Lisa, preparing to fire her squirt gun, but Lincoln said, "Hold your fire! I'm just trying to blend in. Come on, it's our ticket to freedom."

They walked downstairs, also pretending to shoot lasers with their fingers.

"Would you like some candy?" said Leni, tossing them a bag of candy.

"Leni," said Lincoln once they were downstairs, "You're putting the squad in jeopardy and I won't have it! Wait, where's Lucy?"

He then saw his powered sisters eating the candy but he thought they'd gone mad and were eating Lucy. "Dang it! She was so young!".

He then got out his walkie-talkie and said, "Loud Brother to Safe Haven. I think Lucy died."

"Sorry to hear that, Loud Brother," said Clyde, but he was starting to wonder if this was all a prank, so he wasn't too concerned, "Everything's set on this end. Quick question for the lunch: Does everyone eat guacamole."

"Affirmative," said Lincoln, "And Safe Haven, thanks." He then opened the door and found out that the pets were there.

"Hi there," said Charles, Walt multiplied into five Walts, Geo walked right through his ball, and then Cliff turned into a giant cat and blocked the doorway.

"We can still go through the back door," said Lincoln, but then he saw that Lynn and Lola were in the way, so he shouted, "Reroute! Reroute!" before they had a chance to move out of the way.

"To the parental dwelling!" said Lisa, but nobody knew what she meant. "Mom and Dad's room," she explained.

"Move! Move!" said Lincoln, and they ran into their parents' room.

"Dad, people are developing powers, we need to get out through your window," said Lincoln, but then he saw that Lynn Sr. was making fire with his hands. They then saw that Rita was bending in ways that wouldn't normally be possible.

"Impressive, Mom!" said Rita and tried to give her a high five, but Lincoln stopped her.

"Mom, I hate to do this, but," said Lincoln and tried to fire at Rita but found he had run out of water.

Lucy then appeared and opened the door. "Lucy, you're alive!" said Lincoln, "But you can teleport?"

"Again, this is just how I get around," said Lucy, "And you're welcome for the rescue."

They left, with Lincoln barricading the door with a jumprope and saying, "That should hold 'em."

They were just about at the door when Clyde spoke over the walkie talkie: "Loud Brother, come in."

"Safe Haven, this is Loud Brother," said Lincoln, "We're just about out the door and heading to your location."

"That's why I'm calling," said Lincoln, "I'm afraid there's a bit of a crisis here," but then there was static and it went silent.

"Dang it!" said Lincoln, "The walkie's dead. We can't leave without knowing if Safe Haven is truly safe."

"I've got batteries in my room," said Lisa.

"Looks like we're going up," said Lincoln, "Loud, you take point."

"We're all Loud," said Lucy.

"Fine," said Lincoln a bit annoyed, "Just follow me."

They went upstairs and after digging through her box of equipment, Lisa found and replaced the batteries, but then Lily started shooting lasers from her eyes.

"Forgive me, Lily," said Lincoln, and tried to borrow Leni's water gun, but Leni said, "NO!"

"What is wrong with you?" said Lincoln.

"Our family may be turning into superhuman weirdos," said Leni, "but you're turning into a monster!"

"I'm trying to save us!" said Lincoln, "And I'm tired of you acting like Mother Teresa!"

"Shows what you know," said Leni, "Our mother's name is Rita."

"Milk in the hole!" exclaimed Lisa, throwing a bottle of milk.

Lily stopped shooting lasers and drank the milk.

"If you two ninnies are done bickering," said Lisa, "I'd like to taste that guacamole!".

"Safe Haven, we're back in," said Lincoln, "What is this crisis you were talking about?"

"I made peanut butter sauce for the Santa Fe egg rolls," said Clyde, "but then I realized someone might have a food allergy."

"We're fighting for our lives, Clyde!" said Lincoln, "No-one has a food allergy!"

"That's a relief," said Clyde, "because this sauce really ties the dish together. Safe Haven out!"

Then, Lucy appeared. "OK," she said, "Now I can teleport. See the difference?"

"No," admitted Lincoln.

Then, Lisa jumped really high; too high for a human normally. "Dang it!" she said.

Leni then started shapeshifting into different creatures before turning back into a human and Lincoln realized he had superhuman strength.

He then contacted Clyde saying, "Hey, I just got powers but I haven't gone crazy so I think we're good. Can you please come over with that lunch?"

Next thing you know, Clyde was standing next to the couch, on which the Louds sat: Lynn Sr. with a little fire in his right hand, Rita a literal human pretzel, Lori texting Bobby superhumanly fast, Leni in the form of a racoon, Luna invisible, Luan floating, Lynn levitating a glass of water over to herself, Lincoln holding Lucy with one hand, who'd teleported onto his hand, Lana who was being snowed on, Lola still in her fortune teller's outfit, Lisa having jumped to the top of the couch, and Lily shooting lasers from her eyes.

"Well," said Clyde, "The escape mission was a bust, but just because the Louds have powers doesn't mean they're not human, and I'd hate to see all this good food go to waste."

The Louds began eating and then Clyde added, "And besides, they'd make awesome superheroes."