User blog:007Jamesdean/No Place Like Homeschool (Done My Way)

[Episode begins with an alarm clock ringing.]

Lori: Wake up, everybody, time to get ready for school.

[Everyone minus Lola and Lily groan as they wait in line for the bathroom.]

Lincoln: [First in line holding his pee and pounding his fist on the door.] Come on Luna! There's nine people that need to use the bathroom!

Luna: One sec, bro, I can't leave until I hit this high note. ♫Getting ready for school♫ Oh wait, not quite. ♫School♫ ♫SCHOOL♫

Me: Boy. It's always hectic when we go to school huh?

Varie: It sure is.

Lynn: She shoots, she scores! ''[Lynn hits her hockey puck with her hockey stick on the bathroom door much to her siblings' (up front in the line) surprise. She slap shots it the other way, Lisa ducks under it and stops Lynn.]''

Lisa: Is that necessary?

Lynn: What? It's a waste of a shower if you haven't worked up a sweat.

Lana: [Who is sitting on the floor rubbing herself with mud.] Or, gotten dirty. [Continues rubbing herself] Ah.

Lola: [Pops her head out of her room with a mud mask and curlers in her hair.] Excuse me, can you keep it down, please? You know I require at least eight hours of beauty sleep. [Returns to bed]

Carol: Sorry Lola.

Lucy: [Pops up behind Lincoln, scaring him.] Um, what's up with Lola? Why isn't she getting ready for school?

Lincoln: It's pageant season, so she's homeschooling to have more time for rehearsal.

Lynn: [Scoffs] Homeschool. [Roller skating through a makeshift slalom course.] A.K.A sleep in, do a little bit of schoolwork, then goof off for the rest of the day.

Laney: Uh I'm pretty sure it's more than that Lynn. I mean it's still school.

Lynn: Yeah, school with no teachers to tell you what to do.

Lana: [Envious] Yeah, lucky. She gets to live it up on easy street for a whole week.

Lisa: Uh, actually, this year it's six weeks.

Lincoln: Six weeks?!

Lori: Lola needs time during the day to prepare for her pageants.

Lynn: I have basketball practice, football practice, lacrosse tryouts, and a hockey game, all before Thursday.

Lucy: And I have two grave site services back to back tomorrow, at cemeteries on opposite sides of town.

Lana: I'm dumpster diving with Flip, everyday after school this week.

Lisa: And I'm speaking about sodium sulfate at the science club after school tomorrow.

Lana: All, while Lola gets to sleep in as late as she wants.

Lucy: And not have to wait in line for the bathroom.

Lynn: And she can eat whatever she wants out of the fridge.

Luan: Hey! We should get to be homeschooled too.

Laney: Guys no. We shouldn't try to get in on Lola's homeschooling. She needs this time to focus on her work and her pageants.

Lincoln: Come on Laney. Even you have to admit. Homeschool will be perfect for you.

Laney: Perfect how?

Lincoln: Well, you'll have all the peace and quiet you'll ever want. No students to bother you or tease you. And plenty of time to read your books after you're finished.

Laney: Well if you put it that way that does sound nice. Okay, I'm in!

Lori: [Trying to be the voice of reason.] Guys, Mom and Dad would never let us actually do it.

Me: No they will and it's time for an intervention.

I gathered everyone in the living room including my mom and dad and family for a special presentation.

Me: Now the reason I've gathered you all here is because there has been a nasty spree of carnage thats been plaguing our country over the course of the last 19 years.

Lynn Sr.: What is this spree?

Me: (Dramatic Voice) SCHOOL SHOOTINGS!

Thunder and Lightning crashed in the background.

Luna: Dude! I've seen all those on the news. It was awful.

Leni: Why would schools be shot at?

Me: Lots of reasons Leni. These are done by kids that are pure evil and have nothing but hatred and evil in their hearts. They have done all kinds of horrible things to these schools all over the country. The most infamous of them all is one that happened in my neck of the woods in Colorado. Before I was even born: Columbine.

Lori: I've read about that. That was literally the most horrific tragedy I've ever read about.

Luna: I saw the Virginia Tech Massacre on the news and that was horrible dudes.

Laney: I've read about the most recent one in the newspapers: The Majorie Stoneman Douglas High School Shooting. That was awful.

Luan: That was awful. I can't believe that kid did that.

Lynn: What drove him to do that?

Varie: He was fueled by hate and vengeance.

Me: That's right and now the Gun Control debates are in effect. But we're getting off topic here. I figured that Homeschooling would be perfect for this family because of concern for should a school Shooting arise we need to stay safe. Even though we have powers and we can fight and protect out friends. We should be homeschooled because of School Shootings.

Rita: You raise a good point J.D.

Lily: I agree J.D. We should be homeschooled because of this terrible thing thats been happening.

Lilly: I agree too.

Patti: Me too. From now on J.D., Jayme, we're homeschooling you.

Me: Thanks mom.

Rita: I agree with you Patti. School Shootings are a huge problem. From now on you're all gonna be homeschooled. You can still go to regular school when it's needed though.

Everyone cheered.

[Cuts to Lisa, Lori, Luan and Luna in the kitchen; Lori and Luan are eating breakfast while Charles is chewing on a bone.]

Luna: [patting her knee] This is the life, right dudes?

Me: You said it Luna.

Sam: This is awesome.

Lisa: [reading College Math book by B. Smart.] I'll say. Just think I'd be reading kindergarten math books, and now I get to read this college math book.

Lori: I think you're missing the point Lisa.

Lisa: You goof off your way I'll goof off mine.

Me: I already finished my work.

They saw that my book was finished.

Me: I'm a fast worker.

Luna: I can see that dude. [To Laney] Come on Lanes. Chill out with us.

Laney: Sorry guys. I need to focus on my school work.

Lori: But Laney, we literally have all week to work on those books.

Varie: Lori let Laney do her work and then we can have our free time.

Lori: Yeah you're right.

Aylene: I already finished anyway.

Vince: I've graduated from school 4 years ago. So I'm good. I take care of my sisters now.

Me: How are Megan and Sarah doing partner?

Vince: They're doing awesome man. I'm so happy to have my sisters back every day.

Cody: That's awesome Vince.

[Cuts to the backyard]

Lincoln: [playing with action figure] Ace Savvy, deep in the Amazon jungle searches for the hidden lair of the evil villain, Blackjack. Will he find-

Lana: Look out! It's the mantis queen! [brings out a mantis and growls.]

Lincoln: Whoa, aaaaaah! Oh no.[keeps playing with Lana; Lucy is hanging upside down on the fence with her bats; Leni pushes a giggling Lily on a swing; Lynn is jumping rope; Cliff is sleeping but Lola is reading with sunglasses.]

Lynn: One thousand six.

Lola: Hey guys, it's 2 o'clock. Shouldn't you hit the books?

Me: I already finished mine Lola.

Lola: Wow! You're fast J.D.

Varie: Most of us are finished.

Lincoln: It's two already?

Lana: I guess we should do some work.

Leni: Thanks for reminding us, Lola.

Laney: I finished mine before breakfast.

Me: Good job Laney.

[Lori places workbooks on the dining room table and passes them around with Lincoln.]

Lori: OK, here we go. Workbook page one: Please read all contents carefully.

[The rest of the siblings do so for a few seconds.]

Lynn: Boom, one page down.

[Leni's phone rings]

Leni: I don't want to interrupt our flow, but Ed just sent me a totes amazing cat video. Want to see?

Lincoln: Yeah.

Lynn: Me too! Me too!

Lucy: Is it a black cat?

Me: Let me see.

[They watch the video of the meowing cat with music they pick up their workbooks again.]

Laney: Let me see too. [Looks at the cat video and gasps] Is that a cat wearing a leather jacket!? Sooo Cute!

Lori: Now, where were we? Oh right! [clears throat] Workbook page one: Please read all contents carefully.

[A jingle is heard from outside.]

Lana: Ooh, ice cream truck!

Me: It sounds like it.

Chione: It sure does.

[We all rush outside cheering only to find...]

Mr. Grouse: Hey everyone! I see you're enjoying my new CD of classic ice cream truck jingles. [starts dancing] Ooh, this one really swings.

Me: That's really funny Mr. Grouse. How have you been?

Mr. Grouse: I've been good J.D. I heard you all went on a huge global vacation.

Me: We sure did. It was an amazing and awesome experience.

Lana: Man, now I really want ice cream.

Me: Me too.

Leni: Let's go! We earned it, we already read the first page twice.

Laney: I'm not hun... Is that fudge ripple? My favorite!

Mary: You really love ice cream huh Laney?

Laney: I love Ice Cream!

Zoe: Everybody does.

Brittney: We sure do.

[Lola enters with a leotard carrying a juice box and briefcase of ribbons.]

Lucy: Hey Lola, ice cream break?

Lola: I can't. I have ribbon dancing rehearsal.

Allie: Have a good time Lola.

Lola: Thanks Allie.

[She gets into her little car and drives away.]

Luan: She really needs to work on her work life balance.

[Later that night, everyone minus Lola and Laney, are brushing their teeth.]

Lincoln: How fun has this week been?

Lynn: [chanting] Homeschool! Homeschool! Homeschool! [squirts toothpaste on Lisa's glasses causing some siblings to laugh, Lisa wipes it off with a sponge squeegee.]

Laney: Guys, homeschool isn't about goofing off! It's still school and it already has been a week.

Hercules: She's right guys. We're reaching the deadline and we have to do it.

Leni: Laney's right, guys. We should probably do those workbook thingies tomorrow.

Lori: True, we did promise Mom we'd get all of out work done.

Luan: Hmm, then again, tomorrow is Friday. So it's practically the weekend already. Might as well wait til Monday to get a fresh start.

Luna: Good call, brah!

[Lola enters the bathroom.]

Lola: Why are you guys still yammering? Go to bed already. We have a test at 8 AM tomorrow.

Lincoln: Test? What test?

Lola: [sighs] That's how homeschool works. You take a test every Friday to make sure you've been learning instead of slacking off all week! [sighs again]

Me: I know Lola.

Laney: Unlike you guys, I've been preparing for the test.

Varie: Me too.

Aylene: Same here.

Cody: Me too.

Lucy: [Lola's siblings grow worried] What? Why didn't anyone tell us that?

Lola: Hello? It's on page two of your workbooks. [shows the next page that says WEEKLY TEST causing her siblings to gasp.]

Lincoln: [surprised] All the way on page two? Well, of course we didn't see it.

Laney: Yeah, because all you've read was page one.

Lola went to sleep.

Lisa: But, I myself am not worried about a simple examination of the subject of-[looks in the workbook and gasps] What now?! "Kindergartners will be grade on their week's worth of arts and crafts projects"? Aah, art and crafts are my Achilles' heel. Stubby digits.

Laney: Don't worry guys. I'll help you out. Unlike you I've been studying.

Me: That's right Laney.

Zoe: We'll help you too.

Hercules: We sure will.

Lincoln: Come on, guys, we can still pass, even you, Lisa. We just have to pull an all nighter and really study.

Leni: Lincoln's right, no more distractions.

Leni's siblings: Agreed!

[The ice cream jingle is heard again, Lori pulls out a dollar.]

Laney: Ice cream! [We pull out dollars and ran outside only to find that it was only Mr. Grouse again]

Mr. Grouse: Ha ha, evening, Louds. [We groan]

Laney: Ugh!

Me: We really need to stop listening out for that.

Lincoln: [As we go back inside] Guys we can still pass, even you Lisa. We just have to pull an all nighter and really study.

Leni: Lincoln's right. No more destractions.

We all agreed.

[The kids are just finished eating a tub of Morgan's strawberry ice cream; Lynn pushes it away causing Cliff to jump.]

Me: Mmm. I love strawberry Ice Cream.

Lynn: OK, now that that's out of the way, we really gotta buckle down.

Lisa: To increase out chances of success, I suggest we find an environment free of any and all distractions.

Me: Good idea.

Lucy: I don't think you'll all fit in my coffin.

Varie: No it would be too small.

Heidi: I agree.

Isabelle: Me too.

[The others get surprised.]

Lisa: I have an alternate suggestion.

[The kids are now in the backyard near the bunker that was once used to avoid Luan's pranks.]

Lynn: Wow, you're going to let us inside your super top-secret bunker?

Me: This is gonna be interesting.

Lisa: Yes, but don't get any ideas. I will be changing the access code.

Laney: Darn.

[We are now inside it.]

Me: Boy it's like a fallout shelter in here. It would be perfect for us to use in case of a Nuclear Holocaust.

Lisa: Affirmative 2nd Big Brother. It would.

Lincoln: Alright, guys. Let's get cracking.

[Leni starts clicking with her tongue.]

Luan: Would you mind not doing that?

Leni: Doing what?

[Lynn's stomach starts growling.]

Lana: Hey, shut your gut. I'm trying to read over here.

Lynn: How can you hear my stomach over Luna's tapping foot?

Luna: I'm just trying to drown out the noise of Lucy chewing her pen.

Lucy: It helps me focus. Otherwise, all I can think about is Lori's perfume.

Lori: Um, would you rather smell Lana's grubby old hat?

Lana: [offended] Wow. [the sisters start arguing] It's your fault.

Leni: It's totally your fault and I don't like your perfume.

[Lincoln sounds an air horn alarming Me, Aylene, Leni, Luan and Lynn.]

Lincoln: Guys, guys. This isn't working.

Me: [Cleaning out my ears] OOOWWW!!!! Lincoln, what are you trying to do!? Blow our heads clean off our shoulders!?

Aylene: Yeah that hurt my ears!

Lincoln: Sorry guys.

Lisa: [takes the air horn away] Don't touch that. It's to scare away post-apocalyptic mutants. And or Mr. Grouse.

Lori: How does Lola pull this off every year?

Laney: [Pulls off her headphones] There's no trick guys. It's just hard work and focusing.

Lincoln: Well either way, we need her help to pass this test! You know what we gotta do, right?

Everyone else except Leni: Yes!

Leni: [at the same time] No. [everyone looks at her] Uh, yes. ...OK, no. What's up?

Lincoln: Someone's going to have to interrupt Lola's beauty sleep and ask her for help.

Laney: What? We can't do that!

Lynn: But she needs the full eight hours!

Lucy: Or else she can't function properly.

Luan: And she's a biter!

Lincoln: Well, someone's gotta do it.

Me: That won't be needed. Me and Naruto will gladly help you all for the test.

Lincoln: You would do that for us J.D.

Me: Sure. Friends always help eachother. Besides not to brag but you all saw me and Naruto on Total Drama and how we stayed up for 5 days non-stop.

Lynn: I remember that. That was cool.

Me: And it's killing two birds with one stone. We give Lola the sleep she needs and Me and Naruto will help you guys.

Lincoln: That's perfect.

Everyone was in agreement.

I called Naruto.

In the Leaf Naruto and Sakura were watching TV while snuggling and Naruto's cell phone rang.

Naruto: I got that. [Answers it] Hello?

Me: Hey little bro.

Naruto: Hey bro. What's happening?

Me: We need your help.

I explain what's going on.

Naruto: Homeschooling. Good reasons on homeschooling and I will be happy to help. I'm on my way.

Naruto hung up and got dressed and he spread his wings and flew over to us.

As we waited there was a knock on the door.

I answered it and Naruto was there.

Me: Hey little bro.

Naruto: Hey bro. Glad I could come.

Me: All right lets get to work.

Me and Naruto: SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!

We made clones and we got to work.

[The next day, We are finished with our tests; Lisa is making an arts and crafts bouquet of flowers]

Rita: [with stopwatch] OK guys, times up, pencils down. Or in your case, Lisa, pipe cleaners. [Lisa is stressed] [Soon Rita hands everyone back their tests and gives Lisa her bouquet back.]

Rita: Well, it was a close call, but congratulations to all of you, you all passed! [We all cheer]

Me: Thanks for helping us bro.

Naruto: No problem J.D. Glad I could help.

An ANBU appeared.

Me: Hello Captain Frog.

Frog: Hello J.D. I actually came for Naruto. Lady Hokage has called for you.

Naruto: I'm on my way.

Me: Be careful bro.

Naruto: Will do. (Snaps his fingers and he is instantly in his shinobi clothes)

Lori: That is literally so cool.

Lily: It sure is.

Naruto vanished in a ball of fire and the ANBU vanished too.

Me: Well guys. Now we have a new regimen here. We're now being homeschooled.

We all cheered.

It was the start of an amazing time at home.

THE END.

Another Fanfiction Complete.

I had this one on my mind for a while but I was waiting for the script to be made. This was an interesting one for me. Let me know what you all think.

See you all next time.