Thread:FirstDrellSpectre/@comment-27264989-20161211032827/@comment-24200891-20161211063212

Good work but the story has some mistakes. I'll give you a list of ones I found. If I find more of them I'll inform you.

I need to points some mistakes

Double negation - Nobody at the house, except Lincoln, isn't smart to help me with the experiment

Were insead of was - We was tone deaf by your explosion, Lisa /  You guys was in it too,

missing have -   I can't believe we gotten tone deaf! /  We all got caught in the explosion!

A sentence to fix -  Lola, this is all your fault, if you never ask me for something stupid, like mascara, you wouldn't have pranked me!

fixing the sentence -  Lola, this is all your fault. If you didn't ask me for something stupid, like mascara, you wouldn't have pranked me!

<p style="font-weight:normal;"><span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">wrong time -  <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">He'd deserve it! <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">

<p style="font-weight:normal;"><span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">right time -  <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">He deserved it! <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">

<p style="font-weight:normal;"><span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">wrong time -  <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">He behaves like a jerk, (to Lincoln) no offense, (to Lori) but turning him to an object was far too much, Lori! <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">

<p style="font-weight:normal;"><span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">right time -  <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">He behaved like a jerk, (to Lincoln) no offense, (to Lori) but turning him to an object was far too much, Lori! <span style="font-weight:normal;color:rgb(0,0,0);font-size:16px;">