User blog:MrTyeDye/Fanfiction: Peeking Through the Fourth Wall (Episode 3)

[We open, ''as always, in the Loud House living room. This time, Lincoln is accompanied on the couch by Lori, Lynn, Lana and Lisa.]''

Lincoln: Hey, Lincoln Loud here! Welcome back to Peeking Through the Fourth Wall! And today... hoo boy. Just by the title, I can tell this one's gonna be a doozy. We're looking at "Bad Blood" by FirstDrellSpectre.

Lori: Just as a warning, anyone who starts singing Taylor Swift is going to get smacked.

Lisa: Seconded.

Lana: Thirded.

Lynn: Fourthed.

Lincoln: Fifthed. Let's get started!

Lincoln was sitting in his room and tried to draw manga.

Lisa: We're one line in and already we have a random tense change. But it's only a shift from past progressive to simple past, so I'll let it slide.

''Lincoln: [to the audience] As you know I am a comic and manga enthusiast but I also wish to create something on my own. I read so many fictions so I have tons of inspirations. For now I try to practice manga drawing after I learned some basics in Tokyo.''

Lincoln: Whoa! I went to Tokyo?! When was that?!

Lana: Check it out! If you click that part, it takes you to another story that this guy wrote. Maybe you go to Tokyo in that story!

Lincoln: Aw, sweet! Can we read that instead, Lori?

Lori: Sorry, Lincoln. You already picked this one.

Lincoln: Aww...

2 hours later.

''Lincoln: [to the audience] Those characters look nice. Don't be surprised many of them are modeled on my sisters. I live with them since I was born so I can't stop thinking about them. I worked hard on those drawings and I'm so satisfied.''

Lisa: That line is such a mess of mangled syntax that I don't even know where to start. Is English even this author's first language?

Lincoln: No.

Lisa: Pardon?

Lincoln: This guy's from Poland. English isn't his native tongue.

[Lisa turns bright red.]

Lisa: ...I'll shut up now.

Lincoln left his room but later Lynn came in.

Lincoln: Of course. I get turned into a human pretzel if I accidentally step into Lori's room, but all of you can just waltz in and out of my room whenever you want. That's fair.

Lori: Lincoln, you're not allowed in my room because I don't want you in there. If you don't want us to go in your room, all you have to do is say so.

Lincoln: And you'd respect that?

Lori: I have literally no desire to step foot in your gross room anyway. So, yes, I would.

''Lynn: Lincoln, I need a paper to pack my subs. Can you give me some paper? [she was surprised on sight of Lincoln's manga drawings] Oh, if he wants to be a comic artist he needs to train a lot, those failed drawings aren't realistic.''

Lincoln: Oh, look who's suddenly an art critic! Tell you what, Lynn; try drawing a face that doesn't look like a deformed potato and get back to me.

Lynn: Hey!...Shut up!

''Lynn: He won't be mad if I take those ugly failed drawings. There are more practical uses than throwing to rubbish.''

Lincoln: Can I say something?

[Lincoln looks into the camera.]

Lincoln: Don't ever, ever do what Lynn just did.

Lynn: I didn't do any-

Lincoln: I mean the other Lynn. If you see a drawing someone did, don't assume it's just a rough cut. They might be really proud of it; you don't know. And either way, it's not your place to make that judgment.

And if you're the one who drew it and you still think it's garbage... save it. Save all your stuff, even if you think it looks terrible. I promise you you'll get a kick out of your old drawings later, no matter what you think of them now.

Okay, I'm done.

''Lynn took Lincoln's manga drawings and packed her sandwiches in them. Lincoln returned his room and was surprised his drawings were gone.''

Lincoln: Wait a second. She seriously couldn't find anything else to carry her sandwich in? A paper bag? A plastic bag? Her backpack?

Lana: Or just keep it under your hat! That's what I do. [takes a BLT out from under her hat and takes a bite out of it.]

Lincoln: How long as that been under there?

Lana: Two weeks.

Lincoln: [angry] Who took my drawings?!

''Lori: Don't yell twerp! We have to go to school!''

Lincoln: I'm coming!

Lori drove Lucy, Lana and Lola to elementary school, then Lincoln and Lynn to middle school and finally Leni, Luna and Luan to high school, then she went to her work.

Lincoln: Wait, Lori, aren't you still in school?

Lori: I am. I don't know why this guy thinks I'm not.

''Some time later during recess Lincoln detected one of his drawings in trash. He grabbed it and saw it was in sause.''

''Lincoln: [to the audience] My drawing. How was it taken here? Only one of my sisters could bring it here. Because only Lynn goes to middle school with me, it's her.' ''

Lisa: Brilliant, Holmes.

''[angry] Lynn! The sause, I saw it in her subs. Lynn! Wait till I get you!''

Lynn: Aw, what are you gonna do, slap me to death?

''Lincoln ran in fury to Lynn's classroom. She was surprised on his sight.''

Lynn: Hey, bro!

''Lincoln: Don't "hey, bro" me! You took my drawings from my room!''

''Lynn: You mean those scrawlings? [laugh] I made you a favor by getting rid of them.''

''Lincoln: I was practicing drawing manga! You disrespected my work by packing your disgusting subs in them!''

''Lynn: I needed a paper and those scrawlings were the disgusting things. Will you cry?''

Lynn: Yeah, Lincoln! Are you gonna cry 'cause I threw out your little doodles?

Lincoln: Those "doodles" mean a lot to me. You're not an artist; you wouldn't understand.

''Lincoln: No, you're gonna cry! [he took her homework from her bag]''

Lynn: What are you doing?!

Lincoln: You disrespected my work so now you'll learn how does it feel when all is for nothing!

''Lynn: Don't tear me homework apart! If I get F I won't be able to take part in match!''

''Lincoln: You should have thought of this before you destroyed my drawings! [he drowned it in bucket of water]''

Lincoln: HA! How does that feel, Ly- wait, where did I get a bucket of water?

Lynn: Yeah, that's kind of weird. In fact, why didn't you just tear it up? Wouldn't that've been simpler?

''Lynn: NOOOOOOO! You're gonna pay for this!''

Lincoln: Now we're even.

''With ringing Lincoln left to his classroom. Lincoln returned home still angry. Leni approached him.''

Leni: What's up, brother?

''Lincoln: Ugh, Dang it, Lynn! She destroyed my drawings!''

''Leni: This was so low! I can give you a relaxing massage if you're frustrated.''

Lana: You know, you'd think Leni would be great at giving massages, but she's not. She tried to give me one once and it just felt like she was trying to knead my back like a lump of pizza dough.

Lynn opened front door by kicking it very angry.

''Lynn: Lincoln! I got F because you destroyed my homework!''

Lincoln: It wouldn't happen if you didn't destroy my manga drawings!

Lynn: I'm gonna crush you for this!

''Lynn jumped on Lincoln and began punching him. He bit her fist and she screamed in pain. The he pushed her. Then they both began to wrestle violently.''

Lori: Oh, wow, this is getting violent!

Lisa: I do like how the author felt the need to point out that they were wrestling violently. As if there's a non-violent way to wrestle.

''Leni: Hey! What's that fight about?''

Lynn: He destroyed my homework!

Leni: That's mean, Lincoln!

Lincoln: She destroyed my manga drawings first!

''Leni: Lynn, that's mean! I don't know what's worse.''

Lisa: Given the choice, I would side with Lynn. Work is more important than pleasure.

Lana: No way! A drawing is something you put your heart and soul into! It's way more valuable!

''Lincoln and Lynn continued their strugle. She kicked him between legs much to his pain.''

Lincoln: Really, Lynn? A nut shot right at the beginning of the fight?

Lynn: What can I say? I’m a rudo.

He began collapsing but bit Lynn's ear and she suffered as well.

Lynn: Well, there you go, Lincoln. Can’t really call me out for fighting dirty when you start the fight by pulling a Mike Tyson.

[The other four siblings just give her blank stares.]

Lynn: Oh, come on! I’m the only one who gets that reference?!

''They fell on floor and continued struggle. Leni was terrified by her younger siblings fighting. Lori walked in and focused attention on the fight.''

Lori: What happening?

''Leni: Lincoln and Lynn are arguing and fighting. What are we going to do?''

Lori: Nothing, just follow the sister protocol and let them settle this themselves.

Leni: But Lincoln isn't our sister.

Lori: Then I rename it to sibling protocol.

Lincoln: Why didn’t we just call it that in the first place?

Lori: Well… we weren’t really thinking of you when we came up with the protocol.

Lincoln: Oh, what a surprise! I guess that explains why you thought it was okay to let them use my room without asking me first!

Lisa: In our defense, you can’t say that the Sister Fight Protocol didn’t work. Once you stopped trying to resolve the conflict and removed yourself, everything returned to normal. And I should point out that you would have been inconvenienced for far less time if not for that utterly idiotic attempt you made to defuse the situation.

Lori: [to Lincoln] You told me that Leni compared my looks to Aunt Ruth. Why on Earth did you think that that would make me less angry at her?

Lincoln: ...yeah, I’ll admit I have no idea what I was thinking when I said that. But that still doesn’t explain why you randomly decided to cool off’’ in my room!

Lana: Lincoln…

Lincoln: YOU CAN DRIVE! You could’ve gone to the mall, or to Bobby’s house, or anywhere in the city, but for some reason you decided to use the most cramped room in the house! And also, if the Sister Fight Protocol works so well, why didn’t we ever use it before and why haven’t we used it since?!

Lori: We did use it before! We wouldn’t just randomly create a new procedure for no reason! You, of all people, should have been familiar with it!

Lincoln: Oh, really?! Then where was the Sister Fight Protocol when Lynn was fighting with Lucy?! What about the countless fights that Lola and Lana have had with each other?! Where was the Sister Fight Protocol then?!

Lynn: Also, why does our house have only one bathroom? Am I the only one who finds that absolutely bizarre?! This is a two-story house with thirteen people living in it, not some tiny studio apartment in Hell’s Kitchen!

Lincoln: And can someone explain to me how Lori and Leni making up automatically lead to everyone else in the house making up?! Were you all really that invested in that stupid dress feud?! OR AM I JUST SUCH A TOXIC INFLUENCE ON THE HOUSE THAT I-

''[AN ERROR HAS OCCURRED. PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT COLLECT $200.]''

[DAAAAAISY, DAAAAAISY, GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER TRUE-]

''[The preceding segment will not be completed as planned. By doctor’s orders, MrTyeDye will make no further attempts to make sense of the plot to Brawl in the Family, lest he risk permanent brain damage and/or psychosis. ''

We now return to the regularly scheduled fanfic.]

''Lincoln grabbed a vase from commode near next to couch and hit Lynn in head by it breaking the vase. Lori and Leni were shocked by this but didn't involve.''

Lori: Okay, no. If I saw you break a vase over Lynn’s head, I’d grab you both by the collars and I wouldn’t let go until both of you cooled off.

Lincoln: But I thought that getting involved in fights only-

Lori: Lincoln, hush. We’re not going back to that again.

[Thank you, Lori.]

Lori: You’re welcome.

''Lincoln pushed Lynn from himself. Lynn got angrier while standing up.''

Lynn: You...just...made...me..mad!!!

Lincoln: Be mad at yourself because you started it!

Lynn: You little weakling!

''Lynn charged at Lincoln and pressed him to wall next to the fireplace. She put her right forearm on his throat and began chocking him and then began punching his stomach with her left fist. He screamed in pain and accidentally spat in her face. Lynn was distracted and lowered her guard. Lincoln used this chance to free himself by kicking her in stomach strong enough to push her.''

Lynn: Talentless sucker!

Lincoln: Dumb cow!

Lynn: [taunting] Lily makes better drawings than you.

Lincoln: I learn from my mistakes and you don't learn good enough to get C.

Lynn: Hey, I’ll have you know that my GPA is a solid B-minus.

''Lynn grabbed Lincoln to pushed his body and hit wall by his head. He tried to stand up but with headache it was difficult.''

Lincoln: Not over!

Lynn: Don't destroy my homework again!

''Lynn turned 180 degrees and began to walk away. Angry Lincoln didn't feel satisfied so he grabbed a photo on fireplace and threw it on Lynn hitting her back. She turned 180 degrees again and got hit by another photo in face.''

Lincoln: Don't disrespect my drawings again!

''Lynn: Wanna continue?! Have it!''

''Much to Lincoln's surprise she caught the third photo and threw it back. Lincoln got hit by all 3 photos. He grabbed ash from fireplace and threw it right into Lynn's eyes. She began panicing because the ash blinded her. Lincoln hit her with showel used to add coal to the fireplace.''

Lori: And now they’re using weapons. All this over a couple of drawings and a homework assignment.

Lincoln: Right, because you never got in a fight over something petty and meaningless.

Lori: Lincoln, at no point during my fight with Leni did I ever try to hit her with a shovel.

Lincoln: Touché.

''Lynn: Showel?! Seriously?!''

''Lincoln: You struck me the last time, you dumb cow! [he tried to hit her again but she dodged]''

''Lynn: You're misatken. [she showed she's holding poker] Again!''

''Lincoln: Dang it! I should have taken this too.''

Leni: Are you sure we shall not involve?

Lori: No.

Lana: So does that mean they will get involved?

Lincoln: I’m having a bit of trouble reading that exchange.

Leni:Because of them our house began falling apart.

''Lincoln and Lynn began fighting on showel and poker like on swords. Lincoln demolished a lamp when Lynn dodged his attack. Lynn accidentally destroyed a picture on wall because Lincoln dodged her attack. During their fight Lynn's poker fell into Lincoln's mouth so she pulled his mouth causing him lot of pain. Infuriated Lincoln charged on Lynn and wounded uncovered part of her leg by the showel. Lincoln was escaping to dining room but Lynn grabbed his trousers by the poker and made him fall on floor. Then she rushed on him but when she stepped on orange carpert in front of stairs Lincoln pulled the carpet making Lynn fall.''

They both continued their fights in dining room.

Lori: I have a feeling that this story is just going to be one long fight scene.

Lynn: You say that like it’s a bad thing. [Leans toward TV, grinning]

''Lincoln attacked, Lynn dodged, the boy attacked, the girl blocked. They charged on each other and began pushing each other with crossed poker and shovel. Lincoln kicked Lynn's leg in the same injured place, making her focus on the wound for a short time. He grabbed a chair from the grow up table and put it between himself and his sister. She went on the chair and jumped on Lincoln, making him fall on floor. She was sitting on his back and tried to attack him but he punched her in stomach making her release him.''

Lisa: How did Lincoln punch her in the stomach while she was sitting on his back?

Lincoln: In this story I have stretchy arms! Neat!

Lincoln escaped from Lynn's legs.

Lynn: Now that’s the least believable part of the story so far. There’s no way Lincoln could ever break out of these thighs of thunder. [flexes legs]

Lisa: And here I thought that Lola was the most narcissistic member of our household.

During their fight their crossed weapons broke glass in the trophy case.

Lynn: You could have destroyed him rewards!

Lincoln: I'm sorry I didn't!

Luan: [she grabbed the poker and the shovel] Guys, what's this about?!

Lori: Finally. I was wondering when someone would try to break it up.

Lincoln: Mind your business!

Lynn: Get lost!

''Luan: It's not the best way to break ice by breaking glass. [laugh] Get it?''

Lincoln: ...no. I don't get it.

Lisa: Neither do I. The "breaking the ice" idiom doesn't quite make sense in this context.

Lynn and Lincoln: [they punched Luan who didn't expect this] Ugh!

''Luan: Ouch! [she was lying and fidgeting in agony]''

Lynn and Lincoln: DON'T BUTT IN!

Lynn: I was supposed to tell this!

Lincoln: No, It was me!

Lynn: Don't parrot me!

Lincoln: Why shall I parrot such bird brain?

Lincoln: Ha! BURN!

Lisa: I have to admit, there's something charming about this author's odd turns of phrase. That line in particular sounds far more scathing than it would if it were written in conventional English.

''Lynn hit Lincoln in face once, making him confused, she hit him again, pushing in on wall. She tried to punch him again but he dodged and she hit wall instead. He stabbed her eyes by fingers to distract her.''

Lynn: Eye gouging? Sheesh, Lincoln, you're just as much of a rudo as I am.

She in rage grabbed Lincoln and tossed him on the dining table, damaging it.

Lynn: How did you like that?

''Lincoln: [standing up] Huh? Is this all you've got?''

Lynn: [snicker]

Lana: What's so funny?

Lynn: That is so not Lincoln. The real Lincoln would have run up to his room crying after a move like that.

Lincoln: Oh, please! If that were true, I'd never be able to tolerate living with you!

Lynn: What's that supposed to mean?!

Lincoln: I think you know exactly what it means, you big neanderthal! Or do I need to speak slower and with fewer syllables?!

[Lynn and Lincoln raise their fists to each other, only to have Lori and Lana, respectively, grab them by the wrists.]

Lana: Guys, cool it!

Lisa: I think the story's starting to rub off on them.

Lori: Well, you know what? [points to screen] THAT Lori may be willing to tolerate it, but not me. If you two can't keep your hands to yourself, I'm sending both of you up to your rooms for the rest of the night. Is that clear?

Lynn and Lincoln: [begrudgingly] Yes, Lori.

Lynn: You don't want to know what else I've got.

''Lincoln: Oh, I know. It's F from homework.''

Lincoln: BURN!

[Lynn just growls at him.]

Lynn: Grrrr!!!

Lana: Is there an echo in here?

''Luan: Seriously? What are you two fighting for?''

Lincoln: Nothing you shall know!

Lynn: May she knows how big jerk you are!

Lisa: Okay, I'm willing to grant the author some lenience because he's not a native English speaker, but I honestly have no idea what that line is supposed to mean.

Lincoln: True jerk is one who destroys someone's drawings.

Luan: That's what it's about?

Lynn: Now it's for more.

Luan: This is must be a lame joke.

Lincoln: [he stomped next to lying Luan in anger] Shut up!

''Lynn: You call this a kick? I'll show you a kick.''

''Lynn tried to kick Lincoln but he dodged, causing Lynn accidentally kick Luan. With no concern for her they run to kitchen. Lynn kicked Lincoln several times and made him fall on the sink.''

Lynn: I am more experienced in fight, weakling!

Lincoln: But still I have better notes.

Lincoln: Better notes? What, am I bragging about being a better student than her?

Lana: Yeah, I'm with Lincoln. I'm a little lost.

Lynn: They won't save your little butt.

Lincoln: Huh, at least my butt is not as big as yours, you glutton.

Lynn: Is that supposed to insult me? I've got buns of steel and I'm proud of 'em.

''[Lynn gets up and starts shaking her rump in her siblings' faces. All of them react with disgust, except for Lana, who reacts with wonder.]''

Lana: Lynn? Will I ever have a butt like that?

Lynn: One day, Lana. One day.

''Lynn: Can you make a better taunt? Where is your imagination? Oh, I know, in trash!''

Lynn: BURN!

''Outraged Lincoln put his fists into empty jars and began punching Lynn. She tried to block them but they were too heavy for her. Lincoln overpowered Lynn and made her fall on floor. He punched her 3 times and when he was about to strike her 4th time Luna suddenly appeared and grabbed both his arms. She pushed the jars on each other making them shatter.''

Lisa: Because taking the jars off his hands was just too much trouble, apparently. No, it was far better to smash them together and leave the kitchen floor littered with broken glass. Good thinking, Luna.

''Luna: Dude! You bahave like rude brats!''

Lynn: You say it sis!

Luna: But you are not better!

Lincoln: Follow your dumb sister protocol and don't butt in!

Luna: Change your tone!

Lynn: Right, don't butt in!

Lincoln: If you involve again you'll regret it!

Luna: Are you threatening me?

Lori: Gosh, Luna, what gave you that idea?

Lynn: [she's about to kick Lincoln] Don't turn back on you opponent!

''Lincoln: Oh! [he dodged]''

Lynn: Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I could've ended this fight in two minutes if we-

Lori: Lynn, I'm not going to warn you again. If you start a fight, it's straight to bed with you.

Lynn: Fine, Mom.

[Lincoln sticks his tongue out at Lynn.]

Lori: That goes for you, too, Lincoln.

''Luna: [she got kicked by Lynn and began losing balance] Auch! Strong kick. Oh no, no good! [she fell on stairs to the basement and got damaged]''

''Lori and Leni approached Luan who was suffering pain. They saw Lynn and Lincoln wrestling and breaking dishes much to their fear. Lana came from backyard and observed her older siblings fighting. During their struggle Lynn threw a pan on Lincoln but he covered himself with a cutting board. He deflected the pan by the cutting board and it hit a cupboard with chocolate bars. The whole chcolate fell on oven. One of the chocolate bars fell on ground turning fire on what caused the chocolate burned instantly.''

Lana: [histericaly screaming] WE'RE OUT OF CHOCOLATE!!!

Lisa: The two of them just started a fire and Lana's first reaction is to mourn the loss of our chocolate. I'm so glad she has her priorities straight.

Lana: Can you look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn't do the same thing?

[Beat]

Lisa: I cannot.

''Leni: I am more and more sure we shall involve! They will demolish whole house.''

Lincoln: [As Lori and Leni] "Should we do something?" "We should do something!" "Should we do something?" "We should do something!"

''Lori: If you two have problem, then solve it outside! On the backyard!''

Lana: "Hey, if you guys are gonna rip each other to shreds, at least do it without hurting the furniture!"

''Lincoln and Lynn resisted so Lori grabbed them both for shirts and threw them out the house. They fought on the backyard and insulted each other what took attention of Mr Grouse. He opened his window and took a look of fighting Louds.''

Mr Grouse: Louds!

Lynn and Lincoln: What!

''Mr Grouse: What's that supposed to be?! Such riffraff and downfall!''

Lincoln: That does not sound like Mr. Grouse.

Lynn: Yeah. If he saw us fighting he'd probably just pull up a chair and grab a bucket of popcorn.

''Lynn: Mind your business! [she threw a branch towards Mr. Grouse]''

''Mr Grouse: [he closed his window to have a cover from the branch] Ouch! [frightened he sat on floor with back on wall.] Moralocalypse!''

Lana: Hey, that sounds like a pretty cool name for a band. "Moralocalypse".

Lincoln: Eh.

Lana: You'd go see that band!

Lincoln: I'm not so sure I would. Luna might, though.

''Lincoln tried to punch Lynn but she blocked his fist, he tried again but she grabbed his arm and slapped his face. Then she screwed his arm much to his pain and tossed him on wall of the garage. He got angrier, stood up and took a branch from ground. He charged on her waving the branch. She kept avoiding it and punched him twice but he eventually hit her by branch in face and kicked her to make her fall. Lucy was sitting next to the tree and reading her book when suddenly fight of her siblings interrupted her.''

Lori: Wait, Lucy was just sitting there reading completely obliviously until you were right in front of her?

Lynn: That does kind of sound like something Lucy would do.

''Lucy: What is this?! I can't read!''

Lynn and Lincoln: [spooked] Aaah!

Lincoln: It's only our concern!

Lynn: Don't butt in!

Lori: I don't think she was trying to.

''Lincoln grabbed Lynn's pony tail, giving her pain so she responded with kicking his knee much to his pain. Lynn was about to strike Lincoln again so he in desperation grabbed random thing, Lucy's book to use it as shield. Lynn broke cover of the book much to Lucy's anger.''

''Lucy: Hey! Destroy your books instead of mine!''

Lisa: The very idea that Lynn would even own a book to destroy is laughable.

Lynn: Your face is laughable!

''Lynn: Shut up! [she hit Lucy in anger]''

Lucy: Ouch!

Lincoln: Don't involve her to this!

Lincoln tried to kick Lynn but she grabbed Lucy and used her as a living shield, Lincoln accidentally kicked Lucy much to her pain.

Lynn: Okay, time out. I may fight dirty, but I'd draw the line at using my little sister as a human shield. That's just heinous.

Lucy: Ouch!

''Lincoln: Are you crazy?! I kicked her because of you!''

Lynn: See? Even Lincoln is appalled at you, Other Lynn. You oughta be ashamed of yourself.

Lynn: Fight instead of talking!

''Lincoln: Here you are! [he grabbed an empty plant top and broke it on Lynn's head]''

''Lynn: Are you crazy?! Plant pot on my head?!''

Lynn grabbed a her Tennis ball dispenser...

Lynn: Wait, what was my ball launcher doing just lying around outside?

Lisa: Apparently, in this universe, we have the power to summon objects to materialize in front of us whenever we need them. Hence the bucket of water in Lynn's classroom.

''...and began firing at Lincoln. He grabbed cover from trash compactor and used it as shield. He deflected one of Lynn's ball hitting Lynn accidentally. Lincoln escaped but Lynn chased him. Lucy in same time was crying because two her closest siblings hit her painfully.''

Lisa: As opposed to hitting her painlessly?

''Lynn caught Lincoln and they rolled on the road. A van with energy drinks was driving but then driver of the van kicked break on sight of the fighting siblings. He stopped and avoided them.''

Driver: Sigh, kids this days!

One pack of cans of energy drinks broke van window and fell on the road. Lincoln saw this and ran to the cans. He drank one can of energy drink and felt stronger.

Lincoln: Okay, that's... more than a little contrived.

Lisa: Please refer to the theory I made a moment ago.

Lincoln: Nowe I have chance!

Lynn: You're dumb to think it will help you!

Lisa: I concur. You’d have to be pretty gullible to think that those simple concoctions of sugar and caffeine actually provide you with lasting energy.

Lynn: They do, though!

Lisa: I rest my case.

''Lincoln continued his fight with Lynn. She began thinking the energy drink really gave her brother strength. She grabbed a can of the drink and consumed it.''

Lisa: Once again, I rest my case.

Lynn: Don't judge, Lisa. Downing a can of Monster always makes me feel powerful. [flexes bicep, then kisses it]

Lisa: Yes, the Placebo Effect is powerful indeed. But that's all it is.

[Beat]

Lynn: You're a Placebo Effect!

''Lincoln and Lynn became agressive and brutal because of the energy drinks. They quickly got tired so they both grabbed two cans of the drink and drank it to gain advantage. After they were out of energy again they began fighting for the last two cans!''

Lynn: You won't drink my energy drinks!

Lincoln: Those are only mine!

The sisters observed them fighting from Lisa's room and worried more and more.

Leni: We really must stop them!

Lincoln: "We should do something!" "Should we do somethi-"

Lori, Lynn, Lana and Lisa: Enough.

Lori: This time the sibling protocol doesn't work!

Luan: They are really brutal when angry.

''Luna: I fell from stairs because of them. Ouch! It hurts!''

''Lucy: [crying] I don't care about them. My closest siblings wounded me literally and metaphorically.''

Lana: I thought saying "literally" all the time was Lori's thing.

Lori: Oh, shut up.

Leni: On the start they were just arguing about homework and drawings, then they fought about it and now they struggle for cans of energy drinks.

Lori: This time we must do something or they will literally kill each other!

''Lisa: I have solution. [she reloaded her water riffle]''

''Luan: I doubt this water gun will cool them down. [giggle] Get it?''

''Lisa: It's more than a water. [she fired a violet liquid on the fighting siblings]''

''Lincoln: Wha? What's happening? [he fainted]''

''Lynn: We drank too much! [she fainted]''

Lisa: Sleeping potion!

Lori: Wait, she had that the whole time and she didn't think to use it until now?!

Luna: Why do you have it?

Lisa: A prototype cure for insomnia.

''Few hours later Lincoln and Lynn woke up in hospital beds. Ther was 1 beds between them. Lynn Sr and Rita visited Lynn Jr and Rita.''

Lana: So mom and dad visited Lynn and... mom?

Lisa: See, that's an error that has nothing to do with the author's language issues. As such, I reserve the right to lambaste the author for his subpar attempts at proofreading.

Lori: Go ahead.

[Beat]

Lisa: [points at screen] You're bad at proofreading!

''Lincoln: Ouch! How it all hurts me.''

Lynn: I feel so dizzy.

Lynn Sr: You are after detoxication.

''Rita: How could you fight each other? You caused lot of damages! What's the worst you wounded Luna, Luan and Lucy!''

''Lynn: He destroyed my homework. How should I react?''

Lincoln: She started it by ruining my drawings!

Rita: Doesn't matter who started it because you both are guilty of the recent destructions!

''Lincoln: I worked hard on my manga drawings and she destroyed them. What should I do then?''

''Rita: Surely you shouldn't have beat her like that. For sure you shouldn't fight and destroy all things in house!''

Lincoln: Well, now, that's an aesop I can get behind.

For sure you shouldn't fight and destroy all things in house. - Rita Loud

''Lynn Sr.: This is absolutelly unacceptable! You are siblings and that's definitelly what you shouldn't have done to each other!''

Rita: Siblings are supposed to support each other.

Lynn: I have no brother after this!

Lincoln: I have 9 sisters more.

Lana: Geez! You're still going at it?!

Lincoln: Yeah, isn't this the part of the story where we should realize that we went too far?

''Rita: Stop it! With that attitude none of you will have anyone left. Now all your siblings fear you because they know what you can do when you're angry. None of them want to talk with you.''

''Lincoln and Lynn: What? [thet had flashbacks of what he did to Luan, Luna and Lucy]''

Lincoln: No! The last thing I want is my family to ignore me.

Lynn: I can't stand none of them wants to play with me.

Lincoln: None of us want to play with you anyway, Gloaty-Pants.

Lynn: Hey!

''Rita: Good that you feel bad for your actions. You should have thought about it before you began fighting.''

''Lynn Sr.: You won't avaoid punishment. For 4 months you are banned to meet friends, play sports, play video games or read comics.''

Lynn: All because of you!

Lincoln: Don't you see your fault?!

''Rita: You disapoint me by your inability to see your own guilt. Your pocket money is suspended till all damages you caused are repaired.''

Lynn: This is too harsh.

Lisa: Given the level of collateral damage you two caused, I'd say it's just harsh enough.

Lincoln: Yeah, agreed.

Lynn Sr: No, this is more than a proper punishment for you both.

Rita: You are also forbidden to approach each other for less than 30 feet.

Lynn Sr: Till you proove you're not dangerous one of you will sleep in the basement and another on attic without your possessions.

''Rita: You must know also that bruises and scratches will heal quite quickly and the destroyed furniture and dishes can be replaced. Much harder wounds to heal are the broken bonds, shattered trusts and destroyed friendships with your siblings.''

Lori: Well, this is ending on a dour note.

Lynn: I mean, why shouldn't it? Look at what we did. That kind of thing can't be resolved with a group hug.

Lori: ...guess you're right.

Lynn Sr: Now you have a lot of time to think about what you did.

''Parents left their 2 children alone, Lynn and Lincoln avoided looking at each other. Suddenly a random teenager approached them.''

Teen: Oh, I can't believe it!

Lincoln: What?

Teen: You are famous.

Lynn: For what?

''Teen: Oh, so you didn't see this. You should. [he showed him his smartphone] Watch youselves and enjoy. [he showed them recording of their fight on backyard and road much to their shame]''

Lincoln: Oh, come on! I know we went too far, but hadn't we suffered enough punishment already?!

Lisa: Given the fact that the Lincoln and Lynn in this story have still shown hardly any remorse for their actions, I'm inclined to say no.

Lynn and Lincoln: Who uploaded this?!

Teen: I don't know the one who did this personally but he should be rewarded for giving such entertaiment.

Lynn: Get out!

''Teen: Or what? Will you beat me like on this video? Buhu, I fear you so much. Oh, wait, I am don't. You are immobile now and completelly harmless because of your rumble.''

Lincoln: Please leave!

Teen: What can you do?

''Lincoln: I can call security by pushing this button and you'll be kicked out. [he showed the button]''

''Teen: Fine, I was going to leave anyway. [he left]'' Lincoln: I can't believe we behaved like this.

''Lynn: Me too. I didn't even know I can be such brute.''

Lynn: Real talk, Lincoln. I know I like to play rough and knock you around, but that's only because I know you can take it. You're a lot tougher than you think you are.

[Lincoln looks over at Lynn.]

Lincoln: Lynn... I-

Lynn: And I would never, ever go that hard on you. No matter how angry I was with you.

Lincoln: I know, Lynn.

Lincoln: Our rage blinded us to point of idiocy.

Lynn: Even I wouldn't want to play with myself now.

[Lori and Lynn snicker a bit, while Lincoln, Lana and Lisa eye them confusedly.]

''Lincoln: Now I remember clearly sound of sufferning I gave Luna, Luan and Lucy. I can't endure if they hate me now.''

''Lynn: Then welcome to my world. After such video my friends won't look the same on me.''

Lincoln: All started when you disrespected my drawings!

Lynn: But you destroyed my homework and I got F because of you!

Lori: [facepalms] Oh, for the love of...

Lana: Talk about holding a grudge!

Lynn and Lincoln: How petty does the author think we are?!

''Lincoln: Enough! We had a senseless fight and we both accomplished nothing, nothing.''

''Lynn: True, still my homework and your drawings are destroyed. There is no winner at all.''

''Lincoln: Actually people like this teen jerk won. They had entertainment looking at us.''

Lynn: Right, now only they laugh and we can't do anything with that.

Lynn and Lincoln: I'm sorry!

[When we cut back to the couch, we see that Lynn now has her arm around Lincoln.]

Lincoln: Now all I want is my family to trust me again.

Lynn: Family is a team and trust is basic.

Lincoln: And don't destroy drawings again, no matter how bad they look.

Lynn: Fine, but don't destroy my homework.

In same time the rest of the family was discussing in Lori's room.

Lori: You all know why we are here.

''Lucy: Lincoln hit me first time. I know it wasn't intentional but he didn't show remorse. It still hurts.''

Luan: I am in no mood to tell any jokes because two people close to me gave me mistreatment.

Lana: Now they frighten me so much I fear playing with them.

Leni: I can't believe to be related to such beasts.

[Lincoln and Lynn start getting misty-eyed.]

Luna: Maybe it wouldn't happen if they were stopped earlier.

''Leni: I told Lori the same but she responded "sister protocol" or "sibling protocol". Aaaah! I'm confused.''

[All five siblings are tempted to comment, but they don't. Again, doctor's orders.]

''Lori: It only shows each conflict is different because of different particiapnts and sources of the problem. All conflicts require diffent individual methods of solving them. The problem is finding a proper solution.''

''Leni: I don't want my family to be torn apart because of disagreements like this one. We must keep eyes on both Lincoln and Lynn to prevent another situation like this.''

Luna: With each next second of their fight they got more and more violent and agressive like each next hit was another reason to be angry.

Lisa: That's... actually quite poetic. And, I might add, an apt description of how feuds can spiral out of control.

Luan: And this is why the cycle of violence never gets broken.

THE END

''[The five Loud siblings just stare at the screen in silence for a while. Then, Lynn and Lincoln turn to face each other and hug it out.]''

Lynn: I don't care what that story says, Lincoln. You're worth way more to me than some dumb homework assignment.

Lincoln: And you're worth more than some rough sketches.

[Beat]

Lincoln: Also, I'm sorry I called you a neanderthal.

Lynn: And I'm sorry I called you a crybaby.

Lori: Guys, it's all right. Fights happen. It's what brothers and sisters do.

Lana: Yeah, just look at me and Lola!

Lynn: I know, I know. But not like that. [points to screen]

Hey, Lincoln? Let's promise to never take our fights to that level. If you ever catch yourself picking up a vase, put it down.

Lincoln: I promise.

[The two of them release the hug, extend their pinkies and lock them together.]

THE END