Thread:Thomperfan/@comment-30953185-20180512194058/@comment-32807753-20180513022549

in: The Loud House Encyclopedia Thomperfan/Nighttime Shenanigans User blog (It starts with me and Lincoln coming out of the bathroom, having just brushed our teeth.)

Me: Ah. Another great day. Ey, Lincoln?

Lincoln: (sleepily) Yeah, sure Nolan. (Yawns)

Me: Lincoln, are you okay? You look really sleepy.

Lincoln: No, I’m fine. I’ve just had a busy day, that's all. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go help my sisters get ready for bed.

(He’s about to go into Lori and Leni's room, but I go in front of him.)

Me: Nuh-uh. No, Lincoln. The only place you have to go is to bed.

Lincoln: But-

Me: No buts, Lincoln. You're tired. You need rest.

Lincoln: But Nolan, I have to help my sisters. They're counting on me and I can't let them down.

Me: Don't worry about it. I’ll help them get ready for bed.

Lincoln: Really? I'm not sure.

Me: Lincoln, buddy. I can do this. You just worry about sleeping.

Lincoln: (sighs) Thanks buddy. You're the best.

Me: I know.

(The two of us hug.)

Me: Now you go and rest.

(Lincoln goes to his room to sleep and I turn to the audience)

Me: (to the viewers) Okay, I know what you're thinking: Nolan, what are you doing? Aren't you worried that something is going to go wrong? Well to that I say: (laughs) You're hilarious. Look, when you’ve spent as much time with these eleven kids as much as I have, you know their problems and what they need, so helping ten of them get ready to go to sleep should be easy. Now to start off with the two eldest (and hottest) daughters, Lori and Leni.

(I go into Lori and Leni's room. Lori is doing her nails and Leni is reading a magazine.)

Me: Hello ladies.

Lori: Nolan, what are you doing here? Where's Lincoln? I literally need him.

Me: Lincoln is not available tonight, so I have conveniently stepped in for him and am happy to assist you with whatever you girls need.

Lori: Oh, how sweet. Well, I need you to get my phone for me. I literally left it downstairs.

Me: Don't worry, I’m on it.

(I grab a flashlight and carefully head downstairs.)

Me: Hm. Now if I were Lori Loud, where would I leave my phone? (I start searching the first level of the Loud House, first I search the kitchen, but with no luck. Then I trying looking in the living room and find it on the couch.)

Me: Oh, there it is! (I grab it) You my friend, are going upstairs to your rightful owner.

(I come back up to Lori and Leni’s room. And present Lori’s phone to her, getting down on one knee.)

Me: (to Lori) M’lady, I present to you: Your phone.

Lori: Thank you, Noey. (takes the phone) Now I can finish texting my Bobby Boo-Boo Bear.

(Lori starts texting, while I move onto Leni.)

Me: Hey, Leni. Do you need any help?

Leni: Oh, hi sweetie. Yes, as a matter of fact, I do need help. (she goes to the closet and pulls out two dresses. One is green, with little fringes on it, and the other one is red and looks like one of those red carpet dresses people wear.) I’m going to a fashion show, tomorrow, after school. And I need help choosing which of these dresses I should wear. What do you think?

Me: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm… (I look at the two dresses for a couple of minutes.) Uh, I can’t decide. So, looks like I’ll just have to choose the scientific way.

(I take a deep breath and then… )

Me: Eeny Meeny Miney Mo. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. My mom told me to pick the very best one and you are it! (I point to the red dress) That’s the dress you should wear tomorrow.

Leni: Phew! Thanks, Noey. That could’ve been a real disaster.

Me: Glad I could help, girls. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go help your other sisters.

(I’m about to leave, when suddenly I’m grabbed and placed on the bed by Lori)

Lori: Whoa, hold your horses, cowboy, you didn’t let us pay you yet.

Me: Pay me? What do you mean? How much money?

(Lori and Leni both apply lipstick and pucker up. Cuts to a few minutes later, I come out of Lori and Leni’s room dizzy and covered in smooch marks.)

Lori and Leni: (sweetly; off-screen) Goodnight, Noey. (Giggles)

LKs (sans Leni): EWWWWWW!

Leni: Aww... so sweet.

[Beat]

Lisa: You poor individual.

(Oh. And in case you didnt get the joke in my last post, the joke was not only a reference to Nicky Ricky Dicky and Dawn, but also a reference to how Lynn Sr.'s VA (Brian Stepanek) also plays the dad in that show too.)