User blog:Lucasthewikiguy13/Lucas's FanFiction Reviews 6: The Boy Who Cried Idiot

Finally! After over 3 months here is another fanfiction review. Sorry for always never making a new episode of this but  And today we are going to review, "Bobbybooboobear's," story, "The Boy Who Cries Idiot." Something I wanted to review since it was finished and believe me, unlike my other reviews where the stories were good, this particular story is one thats not good, like a lot such as a mile. So let's begin with this story, and trust me, it'll hurt you as much as it hurts me.

Part 1: Storyline

Ok so our story begins on a normal day in Lincoln's class. A new kid arrives and Mrs. Johnson tells him to sit anywhere and martin calls Lincoln beautiful and a mouse, following this he....

No..

What..?

By God!

I can't believe this! Martin throws Licnoln's history book out the window causing Lincoln to fight with Martin. Mrs. Johnson comes in and Flat Tire tells her Lincoln was beating up Martin, which Mrs. Johnson gets angry at Lincoln for.

Now before we go on I will say this, I will let this part barely slide since Lincoln did beat up Martin. But I say barely since Lincoln tried to explain himself but Mrs. Johnson wouldn't listen.

After that she tells Lincoln to go read his history book but Lincoln says he doesn't have it. When she asks where it is Martin, "who was told so by Papa Wheelie," tells her Lincoln threw it out the window. Lincoln says he didn't but for some strange reason, despite the fact she known Lincoln longer and is a good student, she believes Martin and tells Lincoln to go get it and hope it is in perfect condition. Lincoln goes to get it but a racoon is eating it so he gets attacked and...

No screw it I am going through this quickly. Lincoln gets crap on him after he comes back due to nobody believing he didn't damage the book, "except his friends who don't tell the teacher for some reason," the principal craps on him, Lincoln comes home and his parents put crap on him. After all of this Lincoln got detention and his parents ground him for a week.

By god this part is terrible! FREAKING TERRIBLE! God I wonder why Lincoln is getting this on him. But trust me, it gets worse.

So Licnoln has a nightmare and in his sleep accidentally punches Leni in the face and Lynn Sr being and idiot and not listening to his son grounds him another week. Later at school Martin decides to mess with Lincoln and his friends at lunch sicne his IQ level is very low, "Don't even know how he is in 5th Grade!?" He then bites Clyde in the nose causing Clyde to run away crying.

Now here is an interestign fact, Clyde never returns in the fanfic so it means that Clyde's part in this is getting injured and us not knowing what happened to him, how great!

Oh but then Chandler tells Martin something to do with Lincoln and what does Martin do? HE GETS A COWBOY COSTUME, PUTS A COSTUME ON LINCOLN AND RIDES HIM LIKE A HORSE. All this happens, AS EVERYONE LAUGHS AT HIM. Two of the kids even say its great Lincoln is getting payback for his attitude yesterday. EXCUSE ME! YOU IDIOTS SAW WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY HOW MEAN-SPIRTED ARE YOU ALL. Chandler reveals what he did to Lincoln and Lincoln beats him and Martin up.

Now I know beating people up is wrong but after everything so far, I don't blame Lincoln. Though I do question if beating them up is the right choice but we know talking won't work for him, so why bother!

So the three go to the principal's office and Martin gets an hour of detention, Chandler gets two days of suspension, and Lincoln gets suspended for a WEEK, even though he is the victim. I mean I'd understand it if they gave hima  small punishment for beating him up but Chandler and Martin caused it! Why isn't anyone else mad at this in the comment section of the fanfic.

However the principal does say this interesting line, "Violence is worse then humilation!" Is it worse? Well in technical terms I guess but if he saw what happened to Lincoln then he'd understand better.

Theparents then ground Lincoln for three weeks, "Adding to the hatefulness of this fanfiction more," even though Lincoln tried to explain himself. Lynn Sr calls Lincoln a crybaby, "well he doesn't call him that but tells him to cry," and brings him to his room.

And then.....we have disturbing stuff.

Because everyone, I don't kid around.......MARTIN BREAKS INTO LINCOLN'S HOUSE, LIKE A FREAKING MEANIAC. Martin explains how he came in and says he listened to Lincoln breathing, GOD THIS FANFICTION JUST GOT PG-13.

Anyway Lisa and Lily mee thim and tell the sisters. And the sisters for some reason believe Lincoln brought him over here and tackle Lincoln just after Martin destroyed Bun-Bun! Lincoln tries to explain himself but at this point you know eveyrone is dumb as heck and they proceed TO THROW HIM OUT.

Lincoln, now outisde with Martin, yells at Martin about all the things he did to him and says he hates what he did basically. Everyone in the house hears Lincoln and they apologise. Then the parents ungroung him.

Now at this point I'd think they would tell the school everything and Martin can go burn in expullsion ulong with Chandler and anyone else who screwed with Lincoln, but no, Bobbybooboobear has to end it another way.

Now what he did first is fine, which is Lincoln telling Martin to go be Chandler's friend. Which is good to see Chandler getting payback for what he did. But he also ends it with Lincoln getting BEAT UP BY HIS SISTERS, "except Leni who thought it meant a race," due to the fact that there stuff was in a trash bag that Martin carried out who then blaimed Lincoln again, but this time Lincoln, "in a weird way," finds out he did say that since Martin listening to his breathing and hear Lincoln talk in his dream of taking the trash out. And the fanfiction ends.

'''[BULLCRAP! How can Lincoln get all this crap on him and despite all that happened, even after being apologised to gets beat up. This entire storyline is just a big mess. But don't get me wrong, a story where Lincoln gets crap on can work. Hwoever it can only work if the number of crap on him can be solved with a good resolution. This fanfic has the most crap I have ever seen being put on Lincoln, and the resolution is just the parents and sisters making up with him and the sister's beating him up. This storyling is so bad that I am forced to give it 1/10.]'''

Part 2: Characters:

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN WITH THE CHARACTERS. Mrs. Johsnon doesn't care what Lincoln says, the principal is dumb not to listen to him, the sisters don't listen, the parents don't listen, Chandler is in hsi biggest jerk role in fanfictions yet, Martin is the dumbest character I ever seen, the classmates are all jerks who don't get any punishment despite them seeing everything that happened to Lincoln and not telling the principal and Mrs. Johnson. And Lincoln's friends don't do much niether, "Though Clyde does stand up to Martin at one point but we all know his reward for doing that." Overall the characters are far from good. Probably my biggest complaint is how come Martin is that stupid! Bobbybooboobear better have ha d a good reason to make him that stupid, such as a rare disease of birth defect or something! But we will never know.

[So yeah the characters are terrible too but not as bas as the storyline so I give this a 2/10]

Part 3: Style

If there is anything at least better then bad in this story, is the the style is well done. The story has a slow-medium like pace getting to know what's happening at the moment and expressing each character, "Even is 90% of them are cruel," in the right words. The story also has a creepy tone with the Martin character especially when he breaks into Lincoln's house. Bobbybooboobear does know how to write his stories by making the right scene and the right words to say. There is also some funny bits about Peanut Butter!

[The style is not perfect but it is better then everything so far so I will give this a 6/10 since while it may be in a story like this, the style can be at times good even if everything else is pure garbage.]

Part 4: Does the story have anything missing?

Why answer this when it clearly does! Martin doesn't get that punished enough. The sisters should have jsut stayed apologised to their brother and not beat him up. Mrs. Johnson should apologise for how rude she was to Lincoln. Principal Wilbur Huggins should say sorry to Lincoln and remove everything that went on his permanent record during this story and onto Martin's and Chandler's. Chandler should have gotten punished more by the teachers to. I want to see how Lincolns friends think about this such as Ronnie Anne since she still lived here when the story was released. I want to know what happened to Clyde after he got bit, I want to see everyone who laughed at Lincoln apologise to him one by one and tell Mrs. Johsnon and the principal what they saw and so that then can get punished too!

[This story has so much missing that i could explain more but that is basically all of my main ones, so I give this category a 1/10.]

Part 5: Final Rating

'''[God this FanFiction was terrible. It shows that more by my 10/40 score, or 25% meaning it is definately an F- story. While there is some small nice aprts in the story it is all one huge mess. Now before you comment about this Bobbybooboobear, let me clarify that I do not hate you as I like your stories, "especially your first story Dollnation," but it is just that this story is a black mark you made that you should remember and try not to do again in your future fanfictions. Does this story deserve a bad reputation? In my opinion, it should since it was just terrible, just terrible. I feel like you should all go and read it yourself so you will know that a terrible fanfiction like this exists here on the wiki, "and on fanfiction.net where all of the people who reviewed it said is was bad too so this fanfiction does have a bad reputation." I hope Bobbyboobboobear never does something like this again and FanFictions can continue to be good.'''

'''So that's another review done, and also my first bad fanfiction review! It will probably take another long while for another one to come out. Comment below on what FanFiction I should do next and give your thoughts on this fanfiction as well. And I will see you next time here on Lucas's FanFiction Reviews!'''