User blog:Chanyhuman/The Whole Photo (Genderbent The Whole Picture)

The fallowing is a genderbent version of The Whole Picture.

Story

[Episode begins with a view of Linka’s first leg hair zoomed in.]

Clare: "Hold still..."

[The camera zooms out]

Clare: "Got it!"

Linka: "Whoa! Great shot! First leg hair ever. This one is definitely going in the "Linka Library"."

Clare: *confused* "Linka Library?"

''[The next frame shows up a computer screen. Then it shows Linka’s library with all her childhood memories.]''

Linka: "Yep, it's the folder. Where I keep all my cherished memories. Check it out." [She clicks a picture it shows Lynn and Linka in the bathtub with her whale and duck toys.] Here's me and Lynn in the bathtub. [The one shows the next picture of Loki feeding Linka her first ice cream.] Loki is feeding me my first ice-cream. [The next picture shows her first mechanical pony ride with Lane and Lars.] "My first mechanical pony ride and now, my first leg hair." [It shows an error saying "'Linka Library' full. Make room for new file?” She clicks yes, which causes all the memories to go into the trash.]  "Whoa! Where you going?" [Linka starts to gasp] "No, no, no, no, no!" [She clicks the mouse faster then she slams the keyboard.] "Sto-o-op!" [The images keep getting deleted] "Oh, no, no, no, no, no!" [Once all the files are gone, Linka clicks the trash icon, which is where all her pictures went, but her memories aren't in there either.]

Linka: *Gasps* "All my childhood memories are gone!"

Clare: "Don't worry, buddy. This happened to me once, but I got them all back. My moms saved them in the cloud."

''[In the kitchen, Lynn. Sr is making lasagna.]''

'''Lynn. Sr:''' "What do you think, Charlotte? More cheese? Less cheese?"

[Charlotte barks]

'''Lynn. Sr:''' "You're right." *Reveals her face* "Always more cheese."

Linka: *yelling* "Mom!  Do we have the cloud?"

'''Lynn. Sr:''' "Well, Of course we do, Linka."

[Linka sighs in relief.]

'''Lynn. Sr:''' "We also have the sky and the sun and the moon..."

Linka: "No, I mean the digital cloud. Where you store stuff from your computer."

'''Lynn. Sr:''' "Oh. That cloud! No."

[Linka starts to whimper, then she puts her head on the couch.]

Linka: *crying* "I can't believe it. All my childhood memories gone forever."

Clare: "Let it out, buddy. Dr. Lopez says the first step to healing is to honor your feelings."

''[Suddenly, Charlotte runs out of the kitchen with the tray of lasagna in her mouth while Lynn. Sr chases her.]''

'''Lynn. Sr:''' "No, no, no, no! Charlotte! Bad!" [Charlotte starts eating the lasagna.] "I hate Mondays." *sighs* "Guess I'll just have to remake it."

Linka: *suddenly excited* "Remake it? Clare, that's the answer!"

Clare: "Good idea. Helping your mom with her lasagna might take your mind off your loss. That's the second step to healing."

Linka: "No! I mean we'll remake the photos.

Clare: "Hmm. Denial. There's actually a step backwards, but I'm in."

[Linka and Clare go up the stairs to the second floor in the hallway.]

Linka: *shouting* "Guys! Hallway meeting!"

[The brothers come out of their rooms]

Lynn: *doing lunges* "Hoho, this better be good. I was in the middle of my lunges."

Linka: *excited* "Oh, it's better than good. Who wants to have a really fun day recreating some classic family photos?!"

[The brothers aren’t interested and return to their rooms.]

Lexx: "Uh, hard pass."

Luke: "Sorry, dude. We're all headed to the mall. Big sale on studded chokers."

Lars: "And coffin linings."

Leif: "And dual flush toilets."

Linka: "Dang it. We need a plan B."

Clare: *''putting Leif’s hat on her head, making her hair look shorter, and marking out her front tooth. * ''"Or do we need a plan C? Get it? The C is for Clare."

Linka: "I get it and I like it. But wait. Do you really think you can play all my brothers?"

Clare: "Pssh. My moms and I have been doing scene study for years. I once played all the orphans in "Andy". Ever heard of it?" *imitates Leif* "Now give me my plunger!"

Linka: "Wow! You have more layers than my mom’s lasagna."

[Linka is making a list of photos to recreate.]

Linka: "OK, first shot. Me and Lynn in the tub." *putting film to camera* "And this time we're not taking any chances. I'm gonna use film and print hard copies".

Clare: *''in red swimsuit and wig as she imitates Lynn. *'' "Whatever, nerd. Who uses film anymore?" *throwing baseball* "Think fast!"

Linka: *hit by baseball* "Oof!" *catches camera* "Clare, what gives?"

Clare: "Sorry, Linka. Just getting into character. It's an actor thing."

Linka: *''puts her bathrobe in the towel rack. * ''"Okay." *checks the light by using the temperate* "Light's good." *touches the tub water with her finger* "Water's good." *throws a rubber duckie* "Props are ready." *pressed the timer button on the camera* "Timer's set." *gets into the bath tub, fixes her diaper, and she and Clare smile at the camera*

Clare: *farts in the bath tub* "Submarine destroyer!"

Linka: "Aw man, you farted?"

Clare: "It felt right and I went with it."

[Suspenseful music plays, then the bubble pops on Linka as the camera flashes.]

Linka: "Next up: Loki feeding me my first ice cream." *checks the chair's height* "Chair is at optimal height." *puts spoon in the ice cream* "Ice cream is mint chocolate chip." *adjusts diaper* "Diaper is snug but not restrictive." *gets in the highchair* "Clare! I'm ready for you on set!" [Clare doesn't show up] "Clare?" *to the audience* "Pfft. Actors."

''[Linka tries to get out of the chair, but it topples over with her in it. Clare runs in dressed as Loki and picks her up back into position.]''

Clare: "Sorry. I was just, uh... doing some character work."

[Flashback to Clare dressing up as Loki and putting on makeup.]

Clare: *acting towards her reflection* "Sorry, Bebe. It's literally over. I'm in love with Clare."

[Linka sets the timer]

Linka: "Well, it worked, 'cause you look just like Loki."

Clare: "Really?" ''*looks at herself on the bottom of a frying pan. *'' "L-L-L-Loki?" *''nosebleeds on the ice cream and faints as the camera flashes. *''

Linka: "Next up: my first mechanical pony ride with Lars and Lane."

[Linka is dressed like a cowgirl and Clare is dressed like Lane.]

Clare: *disappointed* "I could have played both roles. You didn't have to hire an amateur." [Ruby arrives wearing a Lars costume.]

Ruby: "Wassup, playas?" *''puts on Lars wig and strikes rock poses. *'' "Lars Loud is in the house!"

Clare: "Ruby, a little acting tip: Lars would never say that."

Ruby: "You just worry about your Lexx."

Clare: "I'm Lane! Did you at all prepare for this?"

Linka: *annoyed* "Guys, let's just take the picture."

[She sets the timer and puts the quarter in the coin slot; the ride starts and then goes haywire and bucks them all off into shopping carts as the camera flashes.]

Clare: "Wow! That's really putting the cart before the horse!" *laughs* "Get it?"

[Linka and Clare knock on Mrs. Grouse's door and she answers.]

Ms. Grouse: "What is it, Loud?"

Linka: "Hey, Ms. Grouse. We're taking a photo and we really need someone to play Santa." *Beat*

Ms. Grouse: "Hard pass."

[As she closes the door, but Linka puts her foot in it to stop her.]

Linka: "What if I can make it worth your while?"

[The living is decorated for Christmas and Ms. Grouse is dressed as Santa and eating up Lynn Sr.'s lasagna.]

Ms. Grouse: "I'm not a big fan of playing dress-up, but I do love your mom’s lasagna."

Linka: *notices the tray's contents are gone* "Okay, I did not think you'd eat the whole tray, but I'm sure we can find something else for dinner. We're burning daylight, people! Where's my elf?"

[Clare is dressed as an elf pretending to work on a toy train.]

Clare: "One sec, Linka. Just have to finish this train." ''*smashes the toy hammer on her thumb. *'' "OW!" *''sucks on it as Linka pushes her next to the chair with Ms. Grouse sleeping in it. *''

Linka: "Clyde, you stand here."

[She sets the timer for the camera and jumps into Ms. Grouse's lap, waking her up and causing her burp from the lasagna; the gas makes Linka keel over and land on Clare’s foot.]

Clare: "OW!" *''gets tangled up in the Christmas lights, causing the tree to get tossed in the air; the camera flashes. *''

[At the photo hut, Linka and Clare have just gotten the photos developed.]

Linka: "Okay, Clare, moment of truth. Let's see how our first roll came out."

''[The first photo shows Linka disgustedly getting out of the tub after Clare farted. The second photo shows Clare passionately fainting from her Loki costume and the blood-covered ice cream about to spill onto Linka. The third photo shows them and Ruby about to land in the carts after the pony ride bucked them off. The fourth photo shows them and Ms. Grouse crushed under the Christmas tree.]''

Linka and Clare: "These... are... AWESOME!"

Linka: "I'm not gonna lose my childhood memories after all!"

Clare: "Woo-hoo! So, what's our next scene?"

Linka: "It's my seventh birthday."

Clare: "Great! Will it require an accent? Do I need to gain weight?"

Linka: "Thank you, Clare, but that won't be necessary."

Clare: "I also do my own stunts." *dives off a fire hydrant and goes screaming as she falls down a manhole.*

''[The backyard. Linka and Clare are inflating a bounce house with their breath.]''

Linka: *exhausted* "So glad we still have this thing."

Clare: * also exhausted* "Wish you still had the pump, though." *breathes in one more time and passes out*

Linka: *realizes* "Wait! My seventh birthday didn't have a bounce house. It was a lucha libreparty." [Clare whimpers] "Come on, Clare. We need to redress the set." *deflates the bounce house*

Clare: *limping* "I think I need to go lie down for a minute... in Loki’s bed."

[Linka grabs her arm and drags her along with her.]

[Now the set is made to look like a lucha libre match with Clare dressed as Lunatic Lynn.]

Linka: "If I remember the photo right, I was on the ground and Lynn was leaping on top of me."

Clare: "Cool. Just give me a second to get back into Lynn's character." *stretches and grunts* "Okay, good to go!"

[Loco Linka sets the timer and lays on the mat; Clare gets on a turnbuckle.]

Clare: "Lunatic Lynn off the third turnbuckle!" *leaps off* "AIEEEEEEE!!!"

[Linka gasps and gets up.]

Linka: "Wait a minute." [Clare lands on the mat with a thud and Linka takes off her mask.] "It wasn't lucha libre. It was circus themed!"

Clare: *in pain* "I think I’ll get my clown shoes..."

[Now the set is circus themed with Clare dressed as a clown on a unicycle.]

Linka: "Wait. It wasn't a clown. It was a lion tamer."

[Clare loses her balance on her unicycle and falls into Ms. Grouse's yard.]

Ms. Grouse: "OUT OF MY-" *burps* "-YARD!"

[Now Clare is dressed like a lion tamer and Chris is wearing a fake lion's mane.]

Linka: "Wait. It wasn't a lion tamer. It was a contortionist."

[Chris attacks Clare; Clyde is now contorting her body.]

Linka: "No, it wasn't a contortionist. It was a girl shot out of a cannon."

[Clyde rolls off in her contorted state and thuds; now she's in a cannon wearing a jumpsuit.]

Linka: "Wait a minute."

Clare: *worried* "Oh, no. Are you changing your mind? 'Cause if you're changing your mind, you should definitely get me out of-" *gets fired out of the cannon* "-HEEEEEEEERE!!!"

Linka: *too deep in thought* "What did we do at that party?" *''gets Clare down out of the tree she landed in. * ''"Sorry to put you through that, buddy."

Clare: "That's okay, Linka. It was nothing compared to the roof tumble I took during "Fiddler" last Fright Family Theater Night."

Linka: *panicking* "We got a problem, Clyde! My memories are starting to slip away! We need to get through the rest of these photos fast!"

Clare: "No problem. Just let me get some new pants." *''reveals that her suit's bottom has a hole torn in it. *''

''[A montage begins with Linka and Clare speeding through the remaining photos. First, they recreate the time she and Lane made a sandcastle at the beach by using the sandbox as the beach, then they recreate the time she and Leif built a snowman together by using garbage bags as snow. Next, they recreate Lynn Sr. teaching Linka to ride her first bike with Clare having her back turned as if it were the first season. Afterwards, they recreate the time she and Lynn went on an Easter egg hunt. Next, they recreate the time Randy saw Lincoln first use the potty. Then, they recreate the time she went trick-or-treating with Lars; Linka went as Ace Madam and Lars went as a vampire. After that, they recreate the first time Loki pushed Linka on the swing. Next, they recreate the time Loni gave her her first haircut. After, they recreate the first jam session, she and Luke had. Finally, they recreate the time Linka first bottle-fed Levi when he was still a baby, Then the first time she first bottle-fed Lexx when he was one, And then the first time Randy first bottle-fed her when she was one. Each time, Linka makes a nervous smile to the camera as it flashes.]''

[Eventually, Linka and Clare are lying on the ground, tired from all those photos they took.]

Brothers: "LINKA!!!"

Loki: "What are you doing with all our stuff?"

Lexx: *notices and gasps* "That crown is never supposed to touch the ground!"

Linka: "Gents, don't worry. I'm going to put everything back, right after I develop this-" *''opens the camera only to find there's no film in it; devastated. *'' "NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't believe I forgot to load the film." *''groans and faints; comes to later, babbling. * ''"Potty... sandbox... lion tamer... lasagna..."

Lexx: *punches her* "Linka! Snap out of it! You're babbling!"

Lars: "Are you okay? Clare told us what you were trying to do."

Levi: "Then she caught a glimpse of Loki and lost consciousness."

Clare: *still unconscious* "L-L-L-L..."

Loni: *fanning her* "Don't say his name so loud."

Leif: "We're really sorry you lost all your photos. Do you want us to help you recreate them?"

Lane: "Yeah. I shutter to think what you're going through." *laughs at Lori* "Get it?"

Linka: *sighs* "Thanks anyway, guys, but it's useless. My childhood memories are already gone. I can't even remember what happened at my seventh birthday party."

Loki: "I can. You had a magician."

[Flashbacks to the party where Linka pulls a rabbit of the magician's hat.]

Loki: "You literally freaked out about her rabbit."

[Seven-year-old Linka freaks out and the rabbit runs away while Charlotte chases it; this causes the cake to go flying and hit Linka, then the flashback ends with all her brothers laughing in reality.]

Linka: "I can't believe you remember that."

Luke: "Dudes, remember what happened at Linka’s sixth birthday party?"

Lane: *laughs* "At the bowling alley? I'll never forget that!"

[Flashbacks to the bowling alley party with six-year-old Linka careening down the lane with the ball still stuck to her fingers and hitting the pins while getting stuck at the end of the lane; the flashback ends with more brotherly laughter.]

Lynn: *nudges Linka playfully* "That was the only strike you ever got, lame-o!"

Loni: *still fanning the unconscious Clyde* "Do you guys remember that time when Linka deleted all of her photos off the computer?" *laughs*

Lexx: "Uh, that was this morning."

Loni: *laughs some more* "I know! Remember?"

Lane: "Yeah. What about the time Linka got into Dad’s cosmetics?"

[Flashbacks to baby Linka playing with Randy’s makeup and getting it on her face, then the flashback ends.]

Lane: "Now, there's a story you couldn't makeup!" *laughs as his brothers groan*

Luke: "And the time she spent all day on her bike trying to catch the end of the rainbow?"

Loki: "Or the time she wore her Bonnie the Dinosaur costume every day for a week."

Lynn: "Ooh! How about how she got her chipped tooth?"

[They all laugh and continue sharing fond memories of Linka’s past.]

Linka: *to the audience* "Turns out I have nothing to worry about. With all my brothers, it's like having the Linka Library times ten. I'm pretty sure whatever happened in my life, they'll help me remember it."

Loki: "How about that time Linka tried to climb the shelves to get cookies?"

[Flashbacks to the time with Linka on the shelves; she slips and gets her pants caught on the door handle; the flashback ends.]

Linka: *disturbed* "Actually, that one I'd rather forget."

''[The boys continue laughing and Linka eventually joins in with them. They all gather together to share a tender hug. Clare finally gets up, and notices the precious moment, and captures it with her phone's camera.]''

[The photo Clare took is now uploaded into the Linka Library.]

Linka: "Perfect start to the new Linka Library. Now with cloud backup."

Loki: *off-screen with anger* "WHO USED ALL MY CHAPSTICK?!"

[Clare smiles guiltily.]

Trivia


 * Tip; Sometimes you need your family to jump start your memory.
 * The original was written by Gloria Shen.
 * Please support the official realse.