User blog:Movie&TVfan000/"Steamed Hams" but with Coach Pacowski and Principal Huggins

Coach Pacowski : Well Wilbur, I made it, despite your directions

'''Wilbur : Ah, Coach Pacowski, welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!'''

(Coach sighs)

'''(Wilbur opens door to see smoke coming out of oven) Oh Egad! My roast is ruined! (Looks out of window to see Burpin Burger) but what if...I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? oho! Delightly Devilish Seymour!'''

🎵Ah- Wilbur with his crazy explanations, Coach Pawcowski gonna need his medication When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!🎵

Coach Pacowski : WILBUR!!!!!!!!!

'''Wilbur : Coach, I was just-uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill, Istrometic Excersise. Care to join me?'''

Coach : Why is there smoke coming out of your oven?

'''Wilbur : That isn't smoke, it's steam. Steam from the Steamed Clams we're having! Mmmm! Steamed Clams!'''

(Coach Leaves)

'''Wilbur : Phew! (He sneaks out of the window to get Burpin Burger)'''

Wilbur : Coach Pacowski, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.

Coach : I thought we were having steamed clams.

'''Wilbur : Do'h No, I said Steamed Hams! That's what I call Hamburgers'''

Coach : You call hamburgers "Steamed Hams?"

'''Wilbur : Yes. It's a regional dialect.'''

Coach : Uh-huh, what region?

Wilbur : Uh, upstate New York.

'''Coach : Really? Well I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "Steamed Hams".'''

Wilbur : Oh, not in Utica, it's an Albany expression.

Coach : I see.

(Coach Pacowski takes the bun off the hamburger)

Coach :  You know these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Burpin' Burger.

'''Wilbur : (Laughs) Oh, no! Patented Wilbur burgers. Old family recipe.'''

Coach : For "Steamed Hams"

Wilbur : Yes.

Coach : And you call them Steamed Hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled.

Wilbur : Ye-You know, the- One thing, Excuse me for one second.

Coach : Of Course.

(Wilbur walks into the kitchen)

'''Wilbur : (Yawns) Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.'''

'''Coach : Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? '''

Wilbur : Aurora borealis?

'''Coach : Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year? at this time of day? in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? '''

'''Wilbur : Yes. '''

'''Coach : May I see it? '''

Coach : No.

'''Wilbur's Mother : Wilbur! The house is on fire!'''

'''Wilbur : No, Mother. It's just the northern lights. '''

'''Coach : Well, Wilbur, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham. '''