User blog:TangledVarian4Eves/Another Day in the Life of Lisa Loud



I woke up again. This time, Lily was roaming around without her diaper. Gross, I may add - though helpful for my next experiment "Will Lily poop inside or outside of her diaper? Will she make it to the plastic potty I installed in my 'lab' or will she fail and poop all over my rug?" Mom & Dad wouldn't let me have a real science lab, so I have to do poop studies in either my room or the bathroom... Apparently, Dad hates it done in the kitchen during dinner... Apparently, so does Lola. She hates it the most, I can't explain why.



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I momentarily went downstairs. Lola noticed me and said, "Lisa, you won't do those nasty poop experiments on me, will you?" I grinned sheepishly and said, "No-noooo. Not at all..." This was a total lie, but how can I get her to go to the bathroom without suspecting I lied about this?



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I then thought of my master plan, ie. experiment 1,062 this year. I just need a better test subject, Lola's such a squeamish brat any wrong move can blow the experiment. So I decided to go with her twin sister, Lana... This has to work.



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Moments later, I asked Lana. She said, "That would be awesome! I love poop! I could say it all day! Poop, poop, poop!" Wow she's an ignoramus! I said, "You don't say poop! You poop poop!" I couldn't contain my laughter at this awkward moment. "Pardon me. You actually just poop into this vile. Simple as that." Lana looked with wide eyes, then said, "Well still awesome! Brb!" Then she snatched the vile from my hands and did her nastiest.



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Moments later I saw the sample. "Eureka! I just found the cure for diarrhea!" I then scraped the substance off the vile and put it in my test tube. Gross, I know. But it has to be done! Lana seriously will thank me later...



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Then as I was taking notes for my poop samples, Lincoln comes barging in and says, "You really need to stop with your poop samples. Lana told Lola she was your next choice and then Lola told everyone that you are obsessed with poop! I told her that's ridiculous, but Lola insisted it was true." While I do love a good old banter between sisters, this has gone on long enough. I'm not obsessed with poop, it's just the only thing that has the biggest reaction in my experiments. They'll just have to accept that... Lincoln too. He does some crazy things as well, like read comics in his underwear. How immature and foolish  can one get. A pretty high percentage I might add.



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I then went with what I was doing. Then heavens know, Lola comes bursting in, with makeup smudged all over her face, claiming she can't look in the mirror cause Lana put a bet on her saying she can't look in the mirror for twenty-four hours. Lola said, "Look how hideous I look! I look like a monster don't I! How will I look beautiful again!" I've had enough. "Oh for the love of pythagoras, here's a mirror!" Lola said, "Huh? Well, whateves! I'll show Lana!"



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Thus today goes to a close.. I started to go to sleep until. Lincoln came into my room to ask me if I was going to stay at his school or if I was going back to kindergarten. I personally can't go to either, full of ignoramuses who can't spell, read, write, or do any science experiments whatsoever!



Now I have to get to sleep so I can do more fun experiments.

Good night and bye bye.

Lisa Loud signing off