Luan Loud/Jokes and Pranks

This page is a comprehensive list of Luan Loud's puns and jokes, sorted by episode.

NOTE: The words that are used for the puns are in italic.

Left in the Dark
Lincoln: "You're glowing." Luan: "Oh. I already told you that one?"
 * "Hey! I know why the lights went out! Cause they liked each other! [laughs as siblings grunt.]  "Get it? Get it?"
 * Luan: "So anyway, what did one light bulb say to the other?"
 * "That's the brightest idea you've had all day!"
 * "Oooh. I thought I was staying in tonight, but I guess I'm going out!"

Get the Message

 * "Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!" [laughs to rimshot] "Get it?"

Heavy Meddle

 * "If I were you, I'd go for the baboon."
 * "You're so dumb you locked yourself inside your car."
 * "You're so ugly, you have to trick-or-treat over the phone!"

Making the Case

 * "I said comedy gold, not digging for gold." [laughs]

Driving Miss Hazy
Luan: "Accelerator? Don't you mean gas?" [chuckles] "Get it?"
 * Lincoln: "And Luan's whoopee cushion is the accelerator."
 * [takes back her whoopee cushion] "I gas you won't be needing this." [chuckles]

Project Loud House
Lincoln: "You take away his credit card!" Luan: "Great yolk!" [laughs] Luan: "Try not to lose yours." [laughs]
 * "Pailure is not an option!"
 * "I'll get the drop on you yet!"
 * Luan: "How do you stop a rhino from charging?"
 * Lincoln: "...funny-side up for Luan..."
 * [Just as Leni's about to get in, Lincoln shields her with the umbrella because Luan was at it again] "Oh, come on! I thought we were pails! [laughs] Get it? Get it?"
 * Lynn: "Yeah. Eleven heads are better than one."
 * [After succeeding in pulling off her water bucket prank on Mrs. Johnson ]  "Pailed it!"

In Tents Debate

 * "And finally, the motion to ration shampoo due to chronic shortages passed. By a hair!" [laughs as her siblings groan at her joke]
 * [Dressed as Tippy] "You're welcome!" [honks nose] "I'll see you soon at America's favorite dairy themed a-moo-sement park!" [dances off]
 * "If you vote for Dairyland, you'll have two percent more fun!" [laughs as she pours in 2% fat milk into his cereal]

Sound of Silence

 * "Oh, hey, Lincoln. What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!" [laughs] "I would take trash, but I refuse." [laughs again as Lincoln just rolls the garbage can away in frustration] "Now we're both on a roll!" [laughs some more and bangs the lid on her knee]

Space Invader

 * [gets floss stuck in her braces] "Hey, look! I'm at a floss for words!" [laughs]
 * "I'd make a joke about fighting, but I can't think of a good punchline." [laughs] "Get it? Get it?"
 * "Mornin', Linc. Wet's up?"
 * "It's way pasta our bedtime." [laughs]

Picture Perfect
Luan: [in her gag glasses] "I Kant even tell what it is!" [laughs] Lincoln: "Come on, Luan. You can't wear those in the photo." Luan: "Oh, don't be such a Groucho." [laughs and squeaks a squeaky cigar]
 * Lisa: "Negatory. Clearly it's a bust of German philosopher Immanuel Kant."
 * Luan: "I nose just what this picture needs." [puts on her gag glasses and laughs]

Undie Pressure
Luan: "TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! TO GET AWAY FROM THE COOK! TO PROVE HE'S NO CHICKEN!" [laughs maniacally] Lola: "NOOOOOOOO!!!" [tackles Luan] Luan: [breathing deeply] "Sweet comic relief." Delivery Man: [from outside] "Delivery man." Luan: "Delivery man' who?" Delivery Man: "Come on, kid, it's raining!" Luan: "That's your punchline? You really need to work on your delivery." [laughs]
 * "Hey, guys, why can't a comedian tell a dirty laundry joke? 'Cause it always comes out clean!"
 * Lincoln: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
 * Luan:"Who's there?"

Linc or Swim
Luan: "What about elephant play?" [blasts Lincoln with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Lana, Lynn, and Lola laugh at Lincoln] Luan: "...pool our money to get this one! [laughs and gets more exasperated groans from everyone and gets bonked by Lynn's noodle] That's using your noodle! [laughs some more] Ow."
 * "Hey, Lynn, can you grab that bag of peas? Peas and thank you!"
 * Lincoln: "Guys, no horseplay!"
 * Lori: "Well, little bro, you had such a good idea in buying your pool, we decided to..."

Changing the Baby
Lily: "Gaga!" Luan: "What's your favorite Hawaiian platter?" Lily: "Poo-poo!"
 * "Science fiction stinks, and that's a science fact."
 * Luan: "Introducing Luan Loud and her amazing dummy, Lil Lil! [holding Lily who is dressed like Mr. Coconuts in the same position as him] Say, Lily, who's your favorite singer? Lady..."
 * [Luan crash with Lincoln and switch Lily for Mr. Coconuts] Luan: "Whoops. Sorry, Linc!" [runs off] "Sorry, dummy!"
 * [Luan has Mr. Coconuts] "Wooden you like to be my friend?"

Overnight Success

 * "The lettuce was a head, and the tomato was trying to ketchup."

Ties That Bind
Luan: "I don't know. How do you make an egg roll?" Mr. Coconuts: "You push it!" Luan: "Good one, Mr. Coconuts, but your delivery was a little wooden." [laughs] Mr. Coconuts: [played by Luan] "Without me, you're just a hand!" [Luan closes the trunk on him and speaks for him in a muffled tone] "Hey! I bring the funny! You're always-".
 * Mr. Coconuts: "How do you make an egg roll?"
 * Luan: [puts away Mr. Coconuts] "So sorry, Mr. Coconuts."

Hand-Me-Downer

 * [Younger Luan on a unicycle juggling bowling pins and apples, then Luan bites down on some of the apples and then accidentally bites down on a bowling pin and breaks her teeth] "Looks like I got a 7-10 split!" [laughs]

Sleuth or Consequences

 * "Maybe because you made more clogs than a Dutch shoe factory!" [laughs during rimshot]
 * [sleep-joking] "What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!" [laughs during rimshot]

The Green House
Luan: "That old gag? I don't think so." Lincoln: [shrugs and trips on a peel] "Whoa!" [thuds] Luan: "Actually, I'm starting to see the a-peel!" [laughs at rimshot]
 * Lincoln: "Luan, instead of wasting all that energy making more pies, why not get some comedy out of your leftover banana peels?" [holds up a peel]
 * [fans Luna] "Look! I'm your number one fan!" [laughs with rimshot]

Along Came a Sister
Lincoln: "Fake? Oh, nothing." [hands it back] "Here. And here's your fake dog poop." Luan: "I don't have any fake dog poop. [Lincoln reviles in disgust] Just kidding!"
 * Luan: "What are you doing with my fake spider?"

Chore and Peace

 * [doing the dishes] "Wash and learn!"

It's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud, House
Luan: "That punishment makes no cents [laughs to rimshot]
 * "Have you heard the expression money talks!"
 * Dad: "That's punishment for fighting over money!"
 * "Hey, look! [pulls out a half-eaten sandwich from her wastebasket] I found the bread! And the cheddar, and the lettuce, and the clams? Ew! No wonder someone threw this away."
 * "Digging is fun for the hole family! [laughs] Get it?"

Cover Girls
Pop-Pop: [laughs] "Hilarious."
 * Lincoln: [Dressed as Luan and imitate her at the video call to Pop-Pop] "What does a nosy pepper do? Get Jalapeño business. [laughing] Get it?"

Attention Deficit

 * "And the woodpecker said, that why I tell knock-knock jokes." [laughs]

House Music

 * "I couldn't carry a tune if it had a handle." [laughs to rimshot].
 * [Geo's hamster ball bonks Lori on the head. She drops her music sheet and Luan plays her whoopee cushion as the oldest sister bends over to pick it up] "Nice tootin', sis!"
 * "Grab some sheet music!" [As Luna does as her roommate says, Luan plays the whoopee cushion on cue once again. They all laugh at that gesture.]

Unknown Episode

 * "I made that dish from scratch."

Slice of Life

 * "This is bad news anyway you slice it." [laughs] "Get it?"