User blog:AlexKawa/The Loudest Reviews - Loud Sisters: Ranked

What's up, everybody? It's Alex, and I'm here today with the first episode of my brand new series, "The Loudest Reviews," where the Louds review reviews of episodes, as well as lists. And since today is my second anniversary with The Loud House Wiki, I figured I'd start this series with my very first blog post, where I ranked the Loud sisters from my favorite to least favorite (technically, I didn't post this until over a month after I joined, but it is still my first one, and I figured there was some riffing material). Now, I'm warning you, this is going to be very, VERY cringey! My opinions on a lot of these rankings have changed, so take comfort in that, at least. Without any further ado, let's get right into the Louds' review of my ranking of the Loud sisters.

Lincoln: "Hey, Loud crowd! Lincoln here.  Today, I'm taking a look at a Loud House fan list.  This is by Alex Kawa, and it's his ranking of my sisters.  So, I'm going to read through the list, and give my commentary on the rankings, and ask my sisters to give their feedback as each of them appear on the list.  Let's do this!" "Hey guys! So, I'm kind of new here, but I wanted to share my opinions on the Loud sisters.  I'm gonna be ranking them from best to worst.  I know I may sound somewhat biased on this list, but I'll try my best to give full insight as to why I rank the sisters how I do.  Anyway, let's go!  Just to note, I have absolutely nothing against you personally if you like the sisters I don't or if you don't like the sisters I do.  I WILL have something against you personally if you decide to attack me for my opinions, but enough beating around the bush.  Let's get it on!" Lincoln: "OK, why did he feel the need to say it like that? Why couldn't he have just said, 'This is all just my opinion, you don't have to like or dislike who I do?'  That would've been much less, um, wordy and abrasive.  But, moving on, it looks like Luna is his #1 pick." [sarcastically] "That's totally not basic at all." Luna: "Alright, bro, let's take a look at it." "This one, I know is kind of predictable, seeing as how Luna is Chris Savino's favorite, but I had to go with what I felt, and, well, I do truly believe Luna is the best Loud sister. Now, most of it probably has to do with the fact that I am also 15 years old and into rock.  But I think most of Luna's likeability relies on her relatability.  I think House Music is the best example of this, and it's why it's in my top 3 favorite episodes, and probably my favorite of Season 1.  We see her having fun with her family band, but she realizes her idol (no, I'm not gonna say his cringe-inducing name) will be at the fair, she becomes the definition of perfectionism, kind of like me in many cases." Lincoln: "OK, so, does this guy means he meets a lot of his idols, or that he can just be a perfectionist in general?" Luna: "And why does he have such a hard time saying Mick Swagger's name? I can't tell if he's trying to be uptight or edgy." Lincoln: "Well, looking ahead in this list, it's probably the latter. Let's just keep going." " I think the episode did a great job at portraying what happens when you feel you only have one chance at something you've been chasing down for so long, to the point of even going against what you've always believed in to achieve your lifelong goals. Aside from that episode, we've got Yes Man and Tricked!, episodes where Luna's performance really steals the show.  And she does that for a majority of scenes she's in, so I think this is an easy choice for #1." Lincoln: "OK, that explanation actually wasn't terrible for the most part. At least he didn't try to call you my 'guardian' or something stupid like that." Luna: "Yeah, it was decent." Lincoln: "Well, that's probably more than I can say for the rest of this list. Let's just keep going, and his second-favorite is Leni.  Wow, now I understand how this was his first post.  This dude really tried too hard to fit in to mainstream opinion.  Let's just get this over with." "Yeah, forget what I just said about Luna being an easy pick for #1. It wasn't easy picking between her and Leni, trust me.  What pushed Luna over the edge for me, as I already kind of mentioned, was her relatability.  While Leni does not exhibit that quality nearly as well as Luna does, she is definitely the funniest and kindest of the sisters, so I still was kind of torn." Lincoln: "So, Alex contradicts literally the last sentence he said. Wow, and I can already tell this is going to be cliché and basic." Leni: "I like it." Lincoln: "Leni, you hear this kind of generic praise from the fans all the time. Don't you get jaded from it after awhile?" Leni: "I don't think so. I mean, I don't know anyone named Jade." [Lincoln facepalms] "I think her best performances are Along Came a Sister, One Flu Over the Loud House, and her Listen Out Loud episode. We see her saving a spider to save Lincoln's social life, trying to help her ill sisters at a time they clearly needed it, and trying to make it up to Lincoln after unintentionally embarrassing him.  Because of how kind she is, I always get a good laugh out of a scene where she is angry.  Take Read Aloud, for instance.  When the family showed up to the library and was angry at Lincoln, I got somewhat triggered at first, but I read into it a little more, and now I think it's hilarious!  Half of that has to do with Leni being angry, and because of how she normally acts, it's hard to see her like that.  Some almost certainly would say that's not good, but here, I see it as the opposite.  If I don't make sense, I'm sorry.  I tried to narrow it down while still getting the important details in." Lincoln: "Well, let me just say you did a horrible job with that. OK, the first part of this piece wasn't bad, but when he got into how funny it is to see her angry, I kind of got lost." Leni: "But Lincoln, I see you right here." Lincoln: [sighs] "No Leni, I meant that he was hardly making any sense. And while I do understand the irony of what he's talking about, if that's all it takes to make him laugh, then I'm not too hopeful for the rest of this list.  Whatever, let's just get it over with.  And his next pick is Lynn.  Wow, maybe I was quick to judge this guy.  He actually had the gall to make an unpopular opinion!  Right after two of the most popular opinions of the fandom, but still, it's more than I expected! "Oh god! Yep! Bring on the hate! I know what's coming! Yep! Just let it all out in the comments section! OK, in all seriousness, I know without a single speck of doubt in my mind that this will be my most controversial pick, and I'm sorry. For not being sorry." Lynn: "Dang, this dude's a savage!" Lincoln: "Well, he does try to act like one throughout this list. Mostly, it's annoying and uncomfortable to read, but here, it actually kind of works." "I know there are plenty of people who don't like Lynn, and while I disagree with their opinions, I don't blame them. She can be a real jerk sometimes to Lincoln, and he clearly doesn't enjoy it too much." Lynn: "OK, Lincoln, real talk. Do you think I'm a jerk?" Lincoln: "No. I mean, I think you can be pushy and rough on me a lot, but I know you love me." Lynn: "Well, I appreciate that. So, let's see. This guy has me high on his list, but he still uses a point that many people who don't like me use. I'm interested in seeing where this goes." "But that's honestly half the reason she's so high on the list. In movies and TV shows, I've always loved the older sibling who was half caring, half villainous. It never feels like you're watching a one-dimensional character. I know there about a thousand people down in the comments right about now saying how "Lynn is so underdeveloped, and you have no clue what you're talking about, Alex!" Well, I frankly don't see it that way. Being this type of sibling, her personality has multiple layers." Lincoln: "Well, at least he's self-aware, I'll give him that. Honestly, I feel like I should be offended by this, but I'm not. Although, I think 'villainous' is too strong a word." Lynn: "Yeah, me too." Lincoln: "I mean, as egotistical as that sounds, I'll give you a pass since I agree with you. Plus, at least it feels like he's actually trying." "And, like Luna, she is, to me, one of the more relatable sisters. No, I am not even the slightest bit athletic, nor do I enjoy sports. However, I think No Such Luck (which, contrary to popular opinion, I did not hate) has a scene where I can definitely relate to her. No, I'm not superstitious, but it's something else. After she loses her game, she is very quick to blame it on Lincoln. I am also very quick to try and pass the blame onto, or at least share it with, someone else when I know I've screwed up. Let's be honest, everyone in the world has done that at least once in their life. We all do it, so I see no shame in admitting it." Lincoln: "You know, I do agree with his point. Doesn't make what you said to me right, though, but I won't try to put words in his mouth and say he thinks it does." "And we have seen PLENTY of instances where she is shown to be kind toward Lincoln. Yes Man, Dance, Dance Resolution, The Loudest Yard, Hand-Me-Downer, Cereal Offender, April Fools Rules, etc. And it has been shown that Lincoln does enjoy Lynn's company and enjoys partaking in sports with her, and always tries to cheer her up. We've got A Tale of Two Tables, Attention Deficit, Ties That Bind, and Space Invader. I've gone on way too long with this one. It's all because I know I'm gonna get tons of heat for this choice, so I have to defend myself on it as much as possible." Lincoln: "Well, if you had made this post a year later, you probably would've had more examples to do so, but you didn't do a half-bad job." Lynn: [chuckles] "'Partaking in sports.' Was this dude 15 or 50 when he wrote this?" [mockingly] "How do you do, fellow kids? I like the sports, too. You know, those games where you do physical activity? May I partake in this sport going on right here?" [normally] "Dude, take it down a notch." [her and Lincoln laugh] "Your defense of me is appreciated, but please loosen up just a bit." Lincoln: "Alright, next up is Lucy." "Definitely the best of Lincoln's younger sisters. Just how expressionless she is can be pretty funny, and I guess I can be considered extremely minorly gothic as well. I mean, I wear black t-shirts 90% of the time, I'm obsessed with Linkin Park, and I have an unhealthy habit of torturing myself, but in very petty ways, like listening to music I know is terrible. I swear, I'm not depressed or anything." Lucy: "Oh my gosh, Alex. You have no clue what gothic is, so stop pretending you do." Lincoln: "Yeah, and I'd be careful with what you say about being depressed. It's a very sensitive topic, and while I'm sure you meant no harm, it almost sounded like a mockery of it, so just be careful." "Anyway, I've always found her personality enjoyable, and it's fun to see her interact with her sisters and brother, especially in Tricked!, where, like Luna, she steals the show. Also, in Sleuth or Consequences, she was willing to make it up to Lincoln for getting himself grounded for what she did." Lucy: "Uh, is that--is that it? That was pretty light on substance." Lincoln: "Yeah, judging by most of his descriptions ahead, it looks like he got bored and just decided to start speeding through the list. Sorry there wasn't much to talk about, Luce. Anyway, Lori is next. Wow, this guy has more unpopular opinions than I gave him credit for." "Remember how I just said I liked to torture myself? Yeah, this pretty much spells it out for you plain and simple: two of the more disliked sisters (Lori and Lynn) in the first half of the list. Guys, just go and let all your hate out in the comments section. I give up. I've encountered pretty much all the hate I'm gonna get in my life here at 15 years old, so I'll be prepared, don't worry." Lori: "Alex, I have nothing against, but you're going to feel a lot more 'hate' than you feel now in a few years." Lincoln: "Lori, this was written in 2017. He's your age by now. He probably feels at least some of it." "Anyway, back to why I like Lori. Well, I can definitely relate to her, once again. I am the oldest sibling, and I definitely am a total control freak sometimes, even when I'm not with my siblings. Getting easily aggravated with her family is something I go through every hour of my life. And, let's face it, we're all addicted to electronics. She, like Lynn, is portrayed as the half caring, half villainous older sister to Lincoln." Lori: "OK, this guy literally needs to lay off his use of the term 'villainous.'" Lincoln: "I have a feeling he's about to give you a similar request." "We see this in episodes like No Guts, No Glori and A Fair to Remember, to name a couple. And Clyde's crush on her leads to pretty hilarious moments a lot." Lincoln: "Ugh, I'm not going to lie. Even I feel bad for Alex for saying that. I've seen how much he regrets saying that, and I understand how must he probably cringes looking back on it." Lori: "Well, as long as he realizes it now, it's fine. After all, he was just starting off here." "What I don't like about her are how she's portrayed as a cell phone-addicted teenage girl (I just feel like that puts that demographic in an unfair negative light), and how she constantly says "literally."" Lincoln: [claps his hands together] "Ha! Called it!" Lori: "Nice to see you completely gloss over his contradiction of himself in the first half of this piece." Lincoln: "Yeah, fair enough. It also seems like he's taking it a little too seriously." "Take Listen Out Loud, for instance. There's an episode where she claims her homework is "literally" frying her brain. Well, then, why aren't you dead? Somebody please call 911! Lori's brain is being fried!" Lincoln: [laughing] "OK, that was pretty funny, I'll give him that!" Lori: "No it wasn't! He's literally making fun of my use of the term!" Lincoln: "You had it coming at some point, woman." [Lori angrily glares at him] "Oof, tough crowd. Alright, Lana's next." "I like Lana mainly because something about seeing a 6-year-old animal lover is just adorable!" Lana: "Uh, Alex, you could've just said, 'her love of animals at her age is adorable,' or something like that. Actually, no, you couldn't have, since I'm not adorable." "In Frog Wild, we see her bonding with Lincoln because of her love for animals, and it's really nice to see them work together and get along, especially seeing as how that episode was off the heels of No Such Luck, even though, once again, I didn't hate that episode." Lincoln: "Yes, you did, if that's how you go about addressing it. Just kidding, I believe you." "Aside from that, it's nice to know that Lincoln is mostly willing to break up fights between her and Lola." Lincoln: "And the point of you including this in here is?" Lana: "Yeah, what does that have to do with my character?" "Lana's moderately low on the list because, while he personality is mostly adorable, I do find her quite disgusting 60% of the time." Lincoln: "60%? OK, this is proof he was new to the show. He clearly hadn't seen all your gross moments." Lana: "Hehe, guilty as charged, brother." Lincoln: "Alright, his next pick is Lily. Let's just go right through this." "I honestly don't even know if I should include her on the list, seeing as how I have virtually nothing to say about her. But, well, she's a baby and she's adorable. There. Done. Boom. Oh, yeah, and I like how she manages to be the only one who succeeds in something sometimes, such as in Undie Pressure and Out of the Picture. Um, anything else? No? OK. Let's keep going." [Lily blows a raspberry] Lincoln: "Well, at least that was quick and to the point. Interesting how there was three sisters he saw to be worse at the time. Including Lisa here." "OK. First, let me clarify that just because Lisa's so low on the list doesn't mean I don't like her. She still has plenty of enjoyable moments, just not as many as the ones higher on the list. I think her best appearances were Butterfly Effect (mainly for Lincoln imagining her disowning him), Friend or Faux?, and Snow Bored. Aside from those episodes though, there's really nothing much that jumps out at me about her. I mean, she's a child genius. What else?" Lisa: "Wow, he actually doesn't seem like he's trying too hard to be edgy. He actually sounds like he's giving an honest opinion with no strings attached." Lincoln: "Although, Snow Bored does have a mixed reception, so I'm interested to see what he saw in it others didn't." "Oh, one more thing. Someone please tell me I am not the only one to realize that they clearly took her name from Lisa Simpson. Don't try to lie to my face and say that that thought has not once crossed your mind. Both geniuses for their age, both named Lisa. Don't tell me that never occurred to you, or else you're the most unconvincing liar on the planet. That is against some STIFF competition!" Lisa: "I stand corrected. Not a terrible point to make, but he was very argumentative in making it." Lincoln: "Well, we're almost done here. Luan, you're up." "Now, we're officially in "bad" territory. While I like Luan's personality in theory, how she takes it overboard on April Fools' Day is just horrible! I can forgive these jokes if they're funny, and they mostly are, but on the other hand, how she goes through all these lengths to torment her family can be unbearable. Fortunately, we can always rest assured she gets her karma, mainly in April Fools Rules, Fool's Paradise, and to some extent, even No Laughing Matter." Lincoln: "Oh, how naïve about it all he felt. I've seen his review on April Fools Rules. It's pretty telling how far he's come since." Luan: "Well, it's my favorite holiday. Are you saying I can't celebrate it?" Lincoln: "Go read his fanfiction, "You Fool!" It will open your eyes to how you should be celebrating it." "I don't really like her puns, either. It can be done well if they'd just roll off her tongue and she wouldn't have to put so much emphasis on the words she's using for pun. If she'd fix these two problems, I'd like her puns much better, but unfortunately, these problems are pretty big ones." Luan: "Sounds like he's not a fan of puns in general, because those two things he mentioned are key to making puns." Lincoln: "OK, well, here we are at the bottom of the list. Lola, can you come in here please?" Lola: "Where does this kid live?" Lincoln: "Connecticut, I think. Why?" Lola: "Because I need to find him and give him a piece of my mind!" Lincoln: "Lola, calm down, this was two years ago. And he's actually spoken positively of you since this." Lola: "Oh, well, he better not go back to where he was here!" "Oh, yeah! I'm gonna have way too much fun with this one! OK, seriously, where do I start? I guess we'll start with my least favorite episode of The Loud House, A Tattler's Tale. I know a lot of people like this episode, so please, once again, keep in mind that all of this is my opinion. Here, we see Lola put her siblings through suffering by forcing them to do work for her, and then she manipulates them into letting her join their club by taking the blame for what they did. While that was very bold of her, the reason she did it is just sickening! She says she did it because she wanted to join their club, and it was so obvious she was playing victim for her siblings not spending time with her. Well, she's a tattletale! What on Earth does she actually expect?!" Lincoln: "OK, I get he's doing this for comedic effect, and credit to him where it's due for admitting he took a lot of this too far, but that still doesn't change the fact he's blowing it out of proportion here." "Anyway, let's move on to Sound of Silence. First off, Loud House team, NEVER take the name of an awesome song in vain again! And no, I'm not talking about the original. I'm talking the Disturbed cover." Lola: "OK, mister, calm down. I get it, you don't like it. That's fine, but you're really rubbing me the wrong way. You're lucky you had a presence on this wiki after this." "OK, I guess the episode wasn't terrible, but it's one of VERY few I outright don't like. Here, she puts Lincoln in fear for nothing! And before you say the other sisters did too, while they did, Lola is mostly to blame because she was the ringleader." Lincoln: "OK, yeah, I think you girls did go too far, but I can't say that I didn't bring it on myself for ignoring you without even bothering asking if I could be left alone." Lola: "Well, to be fair, that's practically a pipe dream in this house." "While she is easily the worst Loud sister, I also think she's undergone the most development, which is good, because I always need at least some saving grace in a character. And for a character so detestable like Lola, she has a surprisingly large number of saving graces. Not enough to save her, but she's a lot better than when she started out." Lincoln: "Yeah, you can tell he doesn't actually hate you, Lola. He's just trying to sound like mainstream opinion to make himself look cool." Lola: "Well, at least he eventually saw the light." Lincoln: "And that's it for the list." "So, that's my list! Leave a comment letting me know how you would've ranked them and any questions you may have! Thank you guys! Goodbye and happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Americans out there!" Lincoln: "Alex, you're not a politician. No need to say 'my fellow Americans.' But in all seriousness, that list was pretty bad. While some of your explanations were decent, I can also tell you didn't think a good portion of this through, especially with you putting Lola at the bottom of your list. And you were trying way to hard to sound cool throughout most of it. But it's good to see you've come around. Thank you all for reading, and we'll see you next time on 'The Loudest Reviews.'"

OK, that was something, for sure. Let me know if you enjoyed this, what reviews/lists the Louds should tackle next, and I'll see you guys next time. Peace!