User blog:IronRaphRa/Death Battle: Hammie MacPherson vs. Lana Loud

I know this isn't exactly a Loud House fanfic, but I figured I'd post this here.

= Disclaimer: I don’t own Death Battle, Baby Blues, or The Loud House. = Wiz: Get ready for one of the muddiest and grossest confrontations ever.

Boomstick: Today, we’re pitting two of the wildest, and messiest six-year-olds against each other.

Wiz: Hammie MacPherson from Baby Blues.

Boomstick: And Lana Loud from the Loud House.

Wiz: And this battle will be a good old-fashioned one-on-one. There will be no parents.

Boomstick: And no siblings. He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick.

Wiz: And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armour, and skills to find out who would win a death battle.

(Scene shifts to a picture of Hammie.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: Hamish MacPherson was born in 1995 as the second child to Darryl and Wanda MacPherson. Hammie started out innocent enough, but as he got older; he became more energetic.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: This little guy was practicing dangerous stunts, bugging his sister, and driving his parents crazy all before he went to preschool.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: Now at six-years-old, Hammie likes mud, snot, belching, extreme sports, bugs, snakes, and driving his older sister Zoe nuts.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: And since Zoe isn’t one to back down, those two can put on some great fights. Plus, when his stunts go wrong, he can still get up to try again. He can take a beating and keep on ticking.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: However, Hammie’s biggest weaknesses are anything girly. He gets freaked out by unicorns, fashion shows, and Zoe’s room, which he calls the pink chamber of horrors.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: But that’s nothing compared to his biggest obstacle – a time out.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Scene shifts to a picture of Lana.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: Lana Loud is the eighth child of Lynn Sr. and Rita Loud. This six-year-old grew up with ten other siblings including her twin sister Lola. She found her own identity playing in the mud, fixing things, and taking care of animals. She not only found the four Loud pets, but also has her own collection of reptiles and insects.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: This little girl can build entire pipe fixtures and repair buses.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: Lana is also known for being the gross one of her siblings. She has no problem eating out of the trash and cleaning up animal feces.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: And she’s also a strong fighter. Even with six older sisters and an older brother, she can still hold her own in a sibling fight. Remember, eleven siblings can lead to some huge fights.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: Lana’s biggest weakness is anything girly. She has a tough time acting like a proper lady, which almost cost her a spot in the Bluebell scouts.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: You can put her in a dress, but that can’t stop her from trying to fix something.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Scene shifts to the Death Battle logo.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: All right, the combatants are set. Let’s end this debate once and for all.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: It’s time for a death battttle!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Scene shifts to a large, mud-covering ring that’s hanging over the middle of a large body of water. Hammie and Lana enter.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: I’m gonna make you scream.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: Some jobs require you to get your hands dirty.

<p class="MsoNormal">'''<span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language: EN-CA">Fight! '''

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Lana jumps into the mud and is quickly covered in it.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: Feel the wrath of mudzilla.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Lana starts throwing mud at Hammie, who just stands still. Hammie follows up by jumping into the mud and is quickly covered in it too.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: Mud is my specialty.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie throws mud at Lana, who also stands still. Then the two continue to throw mud at each other until they use all of it up.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: Time to get gross.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie sticks his finger in his nose and pulls out a booger. He places his booger-covered finger on Lana’s forehead. Lana responds by picking her nose, pulling out a booger, and placing said booger on Hammie’s forehead.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: I eat boogers for breakfast.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Both kids let out a loud belch that knocks them away from each other.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: Man’s she’s good.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: He’s not going down easy.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie climbs onto his bike.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: Time for extreme warfare.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie charges his bike at Lana and knocks her over. Then he spins around and charges again. Lana starts to run while Hammie continued to chase her. Lana smiles, takes out a wrench, and stands still. When Hammie gets close to her, she tosses a spanner into one of the wheels, which knocks Hammie off his bike. Then Lana uses her wrench to dismantle the bike.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: That bike would’ve fallen apart sooner or later, you should take better care of your stuff.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie jumps on a skateboard, grabs Lana’s wrench, and tosses it into the water below.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: Hey! That was my favourite wrench!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: Now you’re going to lose.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: Not so fast, I have more tools up my overalls.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie charges to Lana, who takes out a screwdriver. Lana leaps toward Hammie and the two start fighting. The fight ends with the wheels falling off the skateboard and the screwdriver flying into the water.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: That’s it, no more tricks.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: Yeah, a good old-fashioned fist fight.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: That’s fine with me.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie and Lana leap toward each other and their fight turns into a big ball of violence. After a while, Hammie goes flying into the air.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Hammie: Ahhhh!

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">(Hammie falls off the platform and lands in the water.)

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Lana: Last kid standing.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size:11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language: EN-CA">K.O. 

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: When it comes to grossness and messiness, the two are evenly matched. Yet in an actual fist fight, Lana has him beat. She’s has been in numerous fights with her siblings and together; the Loud siblings have destroyed the family van, demolished the kitchen, and trashed the entire house.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: Zoe and Hammie’s sibling fights haven’t even come close to that level of destruction. Lana was once in a fight where an eyeball flew out of the Loud Family big ball of violence.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: Adding to the fact that Zoe is only three years older than Hammie. Yet Lana’s oldest sister Lori is eleven years older than her, meaning that she’s more capable of fighting people who are bigger and stronger than her.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Boomstick: And that doesn’t include the fact she’ll often have to fight nine or ten other siblings at the same time. So, in the end, Hammie takes a bath.

<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-CA" style="font-size:14.0pt;mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;line-height:107%;mso-ansi-language:EN-CA">Wiz: The winner of this Death Battle is Lana Loud.