User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: A New Shy Score

Anyone who has followed my work for a long time knows that I get inspiration from the weirdest places sometimes. This fan episode is one of those times, as it's based in part on something of a running inside joke in the Loud House community. I'm sure you'll pick up on it once you read the summary. Anyway, enough waffle. Here is:

A New Shy Score
Plot Summary: Lucy is nudged out of her comfort zone when she's invited to Rusty's laser tag birthday party at Spunk E. Pigeon's.

Script
''[We open in the attic of the Loud House. It’s so dark that it’s hard to tell if anyone’s around. A flash of lightning illuminates the room, revealing Lucy writing in her journal. She looks up at the audience and clears her throat.]''

Lucy: [reading from her journal] I sit here in my comfort zone,

Surrounded by love, yet also alone,

Misunderstood, yet still cared for,

By many siblings I truly adore,

Some see this as strange and weird,

But it is nothing to be feared,

For I am content on my own,

Sitting in my comfort zone.

[Beat]

Lucy: I call that one “The Story of My Life.”  It’s meant to show how a quiet girl like me can still fit into a large family like this. I know I spend a lot of my time hiding from the world, and there are days when I do feel out of place. But that doesn’t mean I live in complete isolation. With a family this big, it’s impossible, anyway.

[She starts making her way downstairs.]

Lucy: Of course, my family still respects my privacy for the most part. And if I’m being honest, hanging out with them can be fun sometimes. So I guess you could say that I’m more than just some brooding shut-in who wants to be alone all the time. And while my friends and family don’t understand everything about me, I’m glad they at least understand that. Sigh. I wish more people did.

???: Hey, Lucy!

[Lucy sees Lincoln standing in the hallway with a large smile on his face.]

Lucy: Hey, Lincoln. You look chipper.

Lincoln: That’s because I’ve got some great news! Rusty has invited us to his next birthday party this weekend at, get this, Spunk E. Pigeon’s Pizza Palooza Paradise!

Lucy: [tilts her head] Us? Do you mean all of us?

Lincoln: Oh, not all of us, no. The others have other stuff going on, anyway. He just invited you and me.

[Beat]

Lucy: What?

[Lincoln takes out the invitation and shows it to Lucy.]

Lincoln: See? It says right here. Lincoln and Lucy Loud. Pretty cool, huh?

Lucy: Hard pass.

''[Lucy goes into her room and climbs into her coffin. Lincoln follows, appearing concerned.]''

Lincoln: What’s wrong, Lucy? I thought you liked Spunk E. Pigeon’s.

Lucy: I do. It’s just…  Sigh. I don’t think you’d understand. Just leave me alone.

Lincoln: [shrugs] Well, okay. If that’s how you feel about it. But I think Rocky’s gonna be pretty disappointed.

[The lid of Lucy’s coffin slides open as Lucy perks up.]

Lucy: Come again?

Lincoln: That’s actually why Rusty invited you. Rocky wants to hang out with you again.

[Lucy casts her gaze downward and curls up into a ball.]

Lucy: I-I don’t know, Lincoln. I don’t know Rusty’s friends. They don’t know me. Sigh. I-it would just be awkward.

Lincoln: So, that’s it, huh? You’re shy?

''[Lucy blushes and bites her lip. Lincoln smiles and pats her on the shoulder.]''

Lincoln: Well, don’t worry. You know your big brother always has your back. And it’s not like you don’t know anyone that’s going. Rocky’s gonna be there, and you already know Clyde. Not to mention that I know you love Spunk E. Pigeon’s just as much as the rest of us. This’ll be fun, I promise.

[Lucy thinks for a moment.]

Lucy: Are you sure about this, Lincoln? Aren’t you worried that I might embarrass you or something?

Lincoln: What? Lucy, c’mon. Why would I be embarrassed about looking after my little sister?

[Beat]

Lucy: Okay, you’re laying it on a bit thick, Lincoln. Be honest. Why do you want me to go so badly?

Lincoln: [groans] Alright, fine. I kinda promised Rusty that you’d show up for Rocky. I don’t wanna disappoint him. Besides, Spunk E. Pigeon’s has a new laser tag arena, and Rusty said we need even teams.

[Beat]

Lucy: Laser tag? Seriously? That’s what this is all about?

Lincoln: [defensively] Hey, I wasn’t lying about the other stuff. I really think you’ll have fun, and I promise I’ll be there for you. Whaddya say?

[After a beat, Lucy slumps over.]

Lucy: [reluctantly] Sigh. Fine, I’ll go.

Lincoln: [hugs Lucy] Thanks, Luce. And hey, if you end up not having fun, I’ll find some way to make it up to you.

[Lucy gives the camera a look.]

Lucy: What have I gotten myself into?

***

''[The next scene opens in the backyard. Lynn is up in a tree, hanging by her knees from a branch and doing sit-ups while Lucy watches from below.]''

Lynn: So I heard… [grunt] you’re going to… [exhale] Spunk E. Pigeon’s [pant] with Lincoln… [gasp] this weekend. [scoffs] Lucky… [pant] dog.

Lucy: Yeah. Lucky me. Sigh. [she looks up at Lynn] Hey, Lynn? Can I ask you something?

[Lynn flips herself right side up and perches herself on the tree branch.]

Lynn: Ask away, grasshopper.

Lucy: You wouldn’t happen to know how to play laser tag, would you?

[Lynn purses her lips and strokes her chin in thought.]

Lynn: I mean, if I’m being honest, I haven’t played it myself. But I remember we used to play with dart guns and stuff all the time during Take Your Daughter to Work Day. Y’know, back when Dad had his old IT job. Why do you ask?

Lucy: We’re going to be playing it at Spunk E. Pigeon’s this weekend.

[Lynn’s eyes snap open as she almost falls out of the tree.]

Lynn: You mean they finally opened a laser tag at Spunk E. Pigeon’s?! That is so rad! Man, I wish I didn’t have the Royal Woods Kumite this weekend; otherwise, I’d so be there!

Lucy: [dryly] I’m glad you’re so excited about it.

[Lynn’s expression softens as she climbs back onto her perch.]

Lynn: You’re nervous, huh?

Lucy: I’m going to a party where I barely know anyone aside from Lincoln’s friends and one boy I really like, and I’ll be playing a game that I’ve never played before. Do I look nervous to you?

[Lynn looks down at Lucy’s blank expression for a beat.]

Lynn: [smirks] Yeah, but only ‘cause I know you so well. [she leaps down from the tree and rotates her shoulder] Anyway, it shouldn’t be any different from Take Your Daughter to Work Day. You’ve got nothing to worry about.

Lucy: It has been a long time, though.

Lynn: [rolls her eyes] Must you always be such a Negative Nancy? Look, if you feel a bit rusty, how about we get some practice in?

[Lucy thinks for a moment.]

Lucy: I… guess that couldn’t hurt.

Lynn: Great. I’ll be right back. [she darts off in a cloud of dust]

***

''[Lynn returns some time later with two water guns. She tosses one to Lucy, who fumbles with it.]''

Lynn: I figured this would be closer to lasers than suction darts. Don’t worry, there’s no pink paint or bleach in there. I wouldn’t do that to ya.

Lucy: Heh. Thanks.

[Lynn smirks and cocks her water gun.]

Lynn: Alright, Luce. Let’s see what you’re made of.

''[The two sisters run around the yard, spraying each other with water. Lucy falters at first, but she gradually starts to smile as she enjoys her time with Lynn. While running around, Lynn suddenly loses track of her. She turns pale and swallows hard.]''

Lynn: Uh, Luce? Where are you? H-hello?

''[She hears a branch breaking and spins around, unloading everything she has into Charles. Charles gives her an annoyed glare as his fur is sopping wet.]''

Lynn: Whoops! My B, Charles! Hey, have you seen Lu—?

???: Boo.

''[Lynn shrieks as Lucy ambushes her from behind. Her scream of terror subsides into laughter.]''

Lynn: Okay, okay~! Mercy~! [she takes a moment to collect herself] Phew~! Nice shooting there, Luce. Hey, y’know what’s funny?

Lucy: What?

Lynn: I knew you were gonna do that, yet you still got the drop on me. Looks like you don’t have anything to worry about after all.

[Lucy’s smile slowly fades.]

Lucy: Yeah, you knew I was gonna do that. But that’s because you know me. Rusty’s friends don’t know me.

[Lynn frowns and furrows her brow.]

Lynn: I don’t think I’m following you here, Lucy. I mean, if they don’t know you, then you’ve got the element of surprise. You’re like the ultimate trump card! Anyone would be lucky to have you on their team!

Lucy: That or they’ll fear me because I’m not regular and normal like them. Sigh. Such is my curse.

[Lynn gets up and starts wringing out her ponytail.]

Lynn: Y’know, Lucy. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you actually enjoy being miserable.

Lucy: But you do know better. They don’t. That’s the problem. Sigh. Thanks anyway, Lynn.

''[Lucy makes her way back inside. Lynn sighs and starts wringing out her jersey, only to make an unfortunate discovery.]''

Lynn: Dang it. Why’d I think wearing my lucky gi under here was a good idea?

***

''[We cut to the living room. Lori and Lincoln are sitting on the couch playing video games.]''

Lori: Whoa! How the heck did you dodge that?!

Lincoln: Impressed? It took me forever to master that technique.

Lori: [sneers] Clever. But it won’t save you, little bro!

???: Can I have next game?

''[Lori and Lincoln yelp as Lucy appears out of seemingly nowhere. In their surprise, they drop their controls.]''

Game: Elder Angler wins!

Elder Angler: Work harder, ya gup!

Lincoln: Wha—? Hey, no fair! Lucy distracted me! I had you right where I wanted you!

Lori: [giggles and ruffles Lincoln’s hair] Sure you did, Lincoln. [she turns to Lucy] So, uh, what’re you doing here?

Lucy: I’d like to play.

[Beat]

Lori: Since when do you like to play video games, Lucy?

Lincoln: [thoughtfully] I think I know what’s going on. This is about Spunk E. Pigeon’s, isn’t it?

Lucy: Sigh. Am I really that transparent?

Lori: Oh, that’s right. You and Lincoln are going to Rusty’s birthday party at Spunk E. Pigeon’s this weekend. Still, I never thought you’d be one for the arcade, Lucy. Usually when we go to Spunk E. Pigeon’s, you just stare at the animatronics until the pizza arrives.

Lucy: You would be entranced by them as well, if you felt their pain. Such poor, wretched souls, doomed to perform the same songs over and over again for eternity.

[Beat]

Lori: You’re literally the only person I know who would take the time to think about that sort of thing.

Lucy: I know.

Lincoln: [shrugs] Well, if you wanna reach outside your comfort zone a little, I guess that’s fine. Have a seat, Luce. I can show you the ropes.

Lori: Um, hold on. I’m the one who won last round, remember?

Lincoln: That’s only because—

''[He is interrupted by Lori gesturing to Lucy. Lincoln turns and sees Lucy hanging her head sheepishly.]''

Lucy: Sigh. I’m sorry, Lincoln. It’s just…

Lincoln: [finishing Lucy’s thought] …how you move through the universe. I know. [sighs] Dang it. [he relinquishes the controller to Lucy]

Lori: Alright, Lucy. Just pick a character, and we can get started.

''[The game starts up, and Lori and Lucy go at it. Lincoln watches intently.]''

Lincoln: She’s gonna use the Luring Flare! Quick, Lucy! Quarter-circle back!

Lucy: Quarter-circle wha—?

[Lucy’s character gets fried to a crisp.]

Game: Elder Angler wins!

Lori: Lincoln, c’mon. No backseat gaming.

Lincoln: [sulks] Excuse me for trying to help.

''[Lori and Lucy continue to play. Although Lucy starts to get the hang of things, she’s still no match for Lori’s skill. Finally, Lori wins.]''

Elder Angler: Return to your training, young gup.

Lucy: Sigh. Maybe this isn’t for me after all.

Lori: Well, the important thing is you tried. And hey, for what it’s worth, you’re actually not half bad.

Lincoln: Yeah, you’ve got some real potential, Lucy. You just need a little practice, that’s all. Here, how about you play me this time? I promise I’ll go easy on you.

Lucy: Thanks for the offer, Lincoln, but I don’t know if this is helping.

Lincoln: Well, what would help? I really want you to enjoy yourself at this party, Lucy. And I’m sure Rocky would want that, too.

[Beat]

Lucy: Let me get back to you on that.

''[She hops off the couch and makes her way upstairs. Lori and Lincoln look at each other.]''

Lori: And you’re putting her through all this just because you needed even teams for laser tag?

Lincoln: [sulks] Don’t start, Lori.

***

''[We cut to Luna and Luan’s room. A card table is set up, with Luan, Lucy, Mr. Coconuts, and Edwin sitting around and playing cards.]''

Lucy: Sigh. I don’t know, Luan. No matter what I do, this uneasiness won’t go away.

Luan: Hmm. And you’re sure Lincoln’s not forcing you into this? I call. [she tosses a few chips onto the table]

Lucy: Well, not exactly. I do like Spunk E. Pigeon’s, and it would be nice to hang out with Rocky again. But there’s still the fact that Rusty’s friends don’t know me.

Luan: [sighs] Lucy, you of all people should know that you can’t be so hung up about what other people think of you. Remember when I taught you about developing a thick skin?

Lucy: Yeah.

Luan: Well, that applies to more than just performing. If Rusty’s friends don’t like you, that’s their problem, not yours. By the way, it’s Edwin’s turn to bet.

Lucy: Oh, right. [she checks Edwin’s cards] He folds. [beat] I guess that’s a good point.

Luan: So, feeling better about this?

Lucy: A little. I raise. [she tosses some chips onto the table] But I’m still nervous, even though I feel like I shouldn’t be. I-it’s kinda hard to explain.

[Luan has Mr. Coconuts look at his cards.]

Luan: [as Mr. Coconuts] Just ‘cause my parents were full of sap doesn’t mean I’m a sap. Har har~! Get it, toots?

Lucy: [exasperated] Sigh.

Luan: [as Mr. Coconuts] But seriously, I’m out. [she sets Mr. Coconuts down] Anywho, there’s no need to stress yourself out like this. Just go enjoy yourself. And whatever happens, I know Lincoln will be there to back you up.

[Lucy bears a small smile.]

Lucy: Thanks, Luan. So, do you call my bet?

''[Luan checks her hand, and then looks up at Lucy. After a pause, she groans.]''

Luan: Aw, dang it. Too rich for my blood. And Edwin should know all about that. [laughs]

''[Lucy’s smile widens as she lays her cards on the table. It turns out her hand was nothing impressive. Luan’s eyes bug out.]''

Luan: Y’know, for someone who’s so nervous about this shindig, you still have the best poker face I’ve ever seen.

[Lucy simply shrugs.]

***

''[We cut to the fateful day outside Spunk E. Pigeon’s. Lincoln and Clyde ride in on their bikes while Lucy follows on her scooter. Rusty and his father wave them over.]''

Rusty: Hey, fellas! Glad you could make it!

Lincoln: Are you kidding? We wouldn’t miss this for the world. [he fist bumps Rusty and hands him a present] Happy birthday, dude.

Rusty: Thanks, Lincoln.

Clyde: Yeah, best wishes, man. [he gives Rusty his present]

[Lucy looks around nervously before approaching Rusty with her own present.]

Lucy: Hey. Happy birthday.

Rusty: [smirks] Thanks. [he looks over his shoulder] Yo, Rocky! Someone’s here to see you!

''[Rocky pokes his head out from behind his father’s legs. When he sees Lucy, he comes out of hiding and approaches her.]''

Rocky: Hey. Glad you could make it.

Lucy: Yeah.

[The two of them avert their eyes and blush.]

Clyde: Okay, I’m not gonna lie. That’s straight-up adorable.

Rocky: Dad~!

Mr. Spokes: [chuckles] Alright, alright. Go easy on Rocky, guys. He’s a bit shy.

Lincoln: Don’t worry, Mr. Spokes. I get it. After all, he’s not the only one.

Lucy: [exasperated] Sigh.

Lincoln: [sheepishly] Oh, right. Sorry, Luce.

???: What’s up, Rust Bucket? Happy b-day.

''[All eyes turn to a familiar young girl in a roller derby uniform skating in. Lincoln recognizes her right away.]''

Lincoln: Polly Pain, hey! It’s been a while. Um, you’re not still mad about…

Polly: Nah, it’s cool. Heck, I should be thanking you, Lincoln. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have hooked up with Rust Bucket over here. [she playfully socks Rusty in the arm]

[Lucy gives Rocky an odd look.]

Lucy: “Rust Bucket?”

Rocky: She’s been calling him that ever since the Sadie Hawkins dance. Heh. Pretty dumb, huh?

Lucy: Y-yeah. Dumb. Ha ha. Ha.

[Beat]

Clyde: So, is that everyone?

???: Hey, guys! Sorry I’m late.

''[The new arrival is none other than Stella. Lincoln, Clyde, and Rusty try to keep their cool with varying degrees of success.]''

Rusty: N-not at all, my sweet Stella. The others just got here.

Polly: [miffed] Um, excuse me? Rusty, who’s this?

Rusty: O-oh, right! You two haven’t met, have you? Polly, this is Stella. Stella, Polly.

Stella: [nervously] Um, hi?

[Polly narrows her eyes and scans Stella.]

Polly: Don’t get any ideas, girl. Rust Bucket’s mine.

Stella: What ideas? Rusty’s just my friend.

Polly: [skeptical] Uh-huh.

Stella: No, I’m serious! [she turns to Lincoln and Clyde] Guys, back me up here!

Lincoln: Uh, yeah. Stella’s just our friend.

Clyde: Yep. Nothing more than that. For the time being. [Lincoln elbows him in the ribs] Ow, what?

[Rusty smirks and stands in-between Polly and Stella.]

Rusty: Whoa, whoa. Easy there, ladies. No need to fight over little ol’ me. There’s enough Rusty Spokes to go around for everyone.

[Beat]

Rocky: [facepalms] Dang it, Rusty.

Lucy: Oh, hey. You say that, too.

''[Rocky stares blankly at Lucy before letting out a sheepish chuckle. Stella notices this and rolls her eyes.]''

Stella: [to Polly] Boys. Amiright?

Polly: [huffs] Whatever.

???: So, we doing this thing?

''[A familiar snide-sounding voice makes itself known. Lincoln turns to see Chandler enter the scene, flanked by Todd and Richie. Lincoln narrows his eyes.]''

Lincoln: [cooly] Chandler.

Chandler: Long time no see, Larry. Hope you’re not planning on bailing on this party, too.

Rusty: [raising an eyebrow] What’re you talking about, Chandler? Lincoln said he wouldn’t miss this for the world.

Clyde: It’s a long story. Probably best not to talk about it.

[Todd and Richie notice Lucy and approach her.]

Todd: Hey, Loud! Isn’t this your creepy sister? What’s she doing out of her grave? Did your mommy force you to take her along?

Lucy: [chanting mentally] Their problem, not mine. Their problem, not mine. Their problem, not mine…

Lincoln: Hey, back off, guys. Lucy wanted to come here.

Richie: Pfft! Don’t lie, Loud. Why would she wanna be here?

Chandler: Fellas, fellas. Let’s try not to stir up trouble. That’s not why we’re here. Isn’t that right, Rusty?

Rusty: [concerned] Uh, yeah. That’s right.

[Chandler nods and walks over to Lincoln.]

Chandler: [whispering] Better watch your back, Larry. I’ll be gunning for you.

[He makes his way inside, with Todd and Richie at his heels.]

Stella: Geez, what a bunch of jerks. You’re not actually friends with those guys, are you, Rusty?

Rusty: [sheepishly] They said we needed a party of at least ten people for laser tag, and Liam and Zach called in sick. My hands were kinda tied. [sighs] Look, they aren’t gonna ruin this unless we let them.

Mr. Spokes: And if they do start making trouble, please let me know. [he smiles] Well, I think it’s time we got this party started.

[The gang starts heading inside, with Lincoln, Lucy, and Rocky bringing up the rear.]

Rocky: Are you alright, Lucy? It’s… kinda hard to tell.

Lucy: I’ll be fine.

Lincoln: I’m really sorry, Lucy. I didn’t know these jerks would be here, honest.

''[Lucy gives Lincoln a look and beckons him to come closer. Lincoln complies.]''

Lucy: [harsh whisper] You promised me that this would be fun. If you can’t keep that promise, you’ll be my practice corpse for the next month. Are we clear?

Lincoln: [gulps] Crystal.

''[Lucy nods and continues making her way inside. Lincoln gives the camera a pained look.]''

Lincoln: The things I do for laser tag.

***

''[Inside Spunk E. Pigeon’s, the place is as lively as one would imagine. Everyone splits off to different games in the arcade while Lucy makes a beeline for the animatronics performing onstage.]''

Spunk E.: [metallic singing] Ooh, girl, if I could—

Animatronic Fish: Ooh, girl—

Spunk E. and Fish: Give you the world, girl—

Lucy: Sigh. It’s good to see you, too.

???: You like Spunk E. too, huh? I… never would’ve guessed.

''[Lucy sees Rocky walk up to her. She nods.]''

Lucy: Spunk E. Pigeon is a tragic soul. Can you not feel her pain?

[Rocky looks at the animatronics and tilts his head.]

Rocky: She seems pretty happy to me.

Lucy: Sigh. Merely a facade. A mask to hide her true torment. She and her friends are trapped here. They are cursed to sing the same songs over and over again for our entertainment.

Rocky: Wow. When you put it that way, that is pretty sad. Who would do that to them?

Lucy: Who indeed. Perhaps it is someone who knows what these souls are capable of. Or perhaps…

???: Boo~! Get off the stage~!

[Lucy spins around to see Todd and Richie heckling the animatronics.]

Lucy: Sigh. Or maybe it was ignorant fools like them who just saw Spunk E. as a target for their mockery.

Rocky: [scoffs] Wouldn’t be surprised.

Todd: Hey, spooky! If you’ve got something to say to us, then say it!

Lucy: How can you mock these poor souls who have suffered so much just to amuse you?

[Beat]

Richie: Are you stupid or something? They’re not even alive.

Lucy: Grr… [under her breath] Their problem, not mine. Their problem, not mine…

[Rocky gives Lucy a troubled look before mustering up his courage and glaring at the bullies.]

Rocky: W-well, maybe they are alive! Ever think of that?

[Todd and Richie look at each other before bursting out laughing.]

Todd: Yeah, okay. That makes so much sense. [he twirls his finger around his ear]

Richie: Heh, yeah. What’re you gonna say next? That they come alive at night and eat our brains? Give me a break! We’re not that easily scared, you little creeps!

Lucy: Maybe you should be.

''[Todd and Ritchie stare at Lucy for a beat before laughing again. Rocky sighs and shakes his head.]''

Rocky: Let’s get out of here, Lucy. These two are nothing but trouble.

[Lucy nods and allows herself to be led away by Rocky.]

***

[We cut over to Polly playing skee-ball against Stella.]

Polly: [scoffs] Is that the best you’ve got? I’m not even getting winded.

Stella: [smirks] I’m just getting started myself. Keep up with me if you can.

???: Hey.

''[Polly and Stella shriek as Lucy and Rocky appear out of seemingly nowhere. In their surprise, they both toss a handful of balls into the air. The result surprisingly lands them both a lot of points.]''

Polly: O-oh. It’s just you two. [she looks over at Rocky] You’re Rust Bucket’s kid brother, yeah?

Rocky: [shyly] Uh, yeah. My name’s Rocky.

Polly: [smirks] I see you inherited Rust Bucket’s rugged good looks. That’s pretty ace.

''[Rocky blushes and averts his gaze. Stella gives Polly a bemused look.]''

Stella: Tell me, are you always this brazen?

Polly: What? It was a compliment!

[Stella simply rolls her eyes and turns to Lucy.]

Stella: Sometimes, I feel like I don’t really understand anyone around here.

Lucy: I can relate, actually. Oh, I’m Lucy, by the way.

Stella: [extends her hand to Lucy] Stella. I’m kinda new to Royal Woods.

Lucy: [shakes Stella’s hand] Ah, so you’re Lincoln’s new love interest. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

[Stella turns bright red in the face while Polly doubles over laughing.]

Polly: Whoa, hello! And you call me brazen.

[Lucy flinches away and hides her face.]

Lucy: Sigh. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that.

Stella: It’s… fine. [she awkwardly clears her throat] So, uh, you’re one of Lincoln’s sisters, huh? He’s got a lot of stories about you guys.

Lucy: I’m well aware. [she looks over at Polly] And you must be Polly Pain. Lynn’s told me a lot about you.

Polly: Right back at you, Lucy. Hey, you wanna play some skee-ball with us?

[Lucy fidgets awkwardly.]

Lucy: Um, well, I never really played before.

Rocky: I have. I can teach you.

[Lucy takes a moment to think.]

Lucy: I… guess I could play a round or two.

Polly: Sweet. Don’t expect me to go easy on you, though. Polly always brings the Pain.

Stella: [rolls her eyes] Oh, brother.

[Lucy lines up in her lane, while Rocky stands by her side.]

Rocky: Alright, Lucy. The object of the game is to get the balls into those holes. Each target is worth a certain amount of points.

''[Lucy takes a ball and looks at the target. After a nod, she throws her ball and hits the 100 point marker. Polly whistles.]''

Polly: Huh. The way Lynn talked about you, I didn’t think you could hack it. Guess I pegged you all wrong, Lucy. Maybe you’ll be a challenge for me after all. Better than Stella over here.

Stella: Hey!

Polly: [shrugs] Just sayin’.

''[Polly and Lucy launch into their game. Though Lucy manages to hold her own, Polly is just too much of a dominating force. Finally, both sides run out of balls.]''

Polly: Oo-rah! High score! [she launches into a victory dance] Uh-huh~. Work it~. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh~.

Rocky: [pats Lucy on the shoulder] Hey, don’t feel too bad. You did pretty well for your first time.

[Polly playfully socks Lucy in the arm.]

Polly: You’ve got guts stepping up to the Pain, kid. I like that. Challenge me again when you’ve gotten more practice, yeah?

[Lucy sheepishly rubs her arm.]

Lucy: I, um…  Thanks, I guess. Sigh.

''[She shuffles off without another word. Rocky turns to Polly and Stella and shrugs.]''

Rocky: It was nice talking to you two. [he follows Lucy]

Polly: Sheesh. What’s her deal? Lynn always said her sister was weird, but I didn’t think she’d be like this.

[Stella raises an eyebrow at Polly.]

Polly: What?

Stella: [sighs] Never mind.

***

[We cut over to Lincoln and Rusty playing at a Muscle Fish cabinet while Clyde and Chandler watch.]

Rusty: Ha! Gotcha right where I want ya!

Lincoln: Oh yeah?! Think again! Time for my ultimate attack!

???: Hey, Lincoln.

''[Everyone present jumps as Lucy and Rocky appear out of seemingly nowhere. In his surprise, Lincoln nudges the joypad and delivers the finishing blow.]''

Game: Muscle Fish wins!

[Rusty takes a moment to collect himself before letting out a chuckle.]

Rusty: Guess even the birthday man can be bested. Good game, Lincoln.

Chandler: [scoffs] Oh, please. He wouldn’t have won if it wasn’t for his little sister.

Lincoln: Not dignifying that. [he turns to Lucy] Hey, Luce. Are you and Rocky enjoying yourselves?

[Lucy and Rocky look at each other and share a shrug.]

Lucy: Hard to say.

[Beat]

Clyde: So, uh, Rusty. When’re we starting laser tag?

Rusty: [looking at the clock] Should be soon. I think I’m gonna hit up one of the old school pinball tables. Anyone wanna join me?

Clyde: [smirks] You know I’m always a sucker for the classics. How about you, Lincoln?

Lincoln: [shrugs] Eh, why not? I could use a break.

Chandler: Not so fast, Larry. I’m not letting you slip out of this one. Didn’t we agree that I’d play winner?

[Beat]

Lincoln: Oh, right. Sure, I can play a quick rou—

Chandler: Y’know, now that I’m thinking about it, you didn’t really win that last one, did you?

Rusty: Dude, what’re you talking about? Lincoln had me on the ropes. I’m man enough to admit when I’m defeated fair and square.

Chandler: Really? Or did Little Miss Spooky here win for him?

''[Lucy hangs her head. Lincoln glowers at Chandler.]''

Lincoln: Leave her out of this, Chandler. Your beef is with me.

Chandler: Oh, I haven’t forgotten about that, Larry. Trust me, I haven’t. But I think it’s only fair that I play the real winner. [he sneers at Lucy] How about it, Little Miss Spooky?

[Lucy shivers slightly, but her expression remains stoic.]

Lincoln: [gently] Lucy, it’s okay. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.

Chandler: Oh, I see how it is. You just nab your prize and run away like a little chicken. I don’t think that’s very fair, do you?

Lincoln: [through gritted teeth] Back off, Chandler.

Chandler: Or what? You’re gonna sock me? I don’t think Mr. Spokes would like that.

''[Lucy looks between Lincoln and Chandler. After a beat, she steps forward.]''

Lucy: Sigh. Fine. You want your game? I’ll give it to you.

Chandler: [scoffs] Glad you see things my way.

[Lucy and Chandler start their game while the others watch.]

Rocky: C’mon, Lucy! Show him what you’re made of! I believe in you!

Chandler: [through gritted teeth] Shut up, you little runt.

Rusty: [sternly] That little runt just so happens to be my brother. Care to retract that, or should I get my dad?

[Chandler snarls, and then mutters an apology under his breath.]

Rusty: That’s what I thought.

Clyde: Wow. It’s times like this I wish I wasn’t an only child.

''[Lucy sees Chandler’s character charge up a powerful attack. She remembers back to when she was playing against Lori.]''

Lucy: Quarter-circle back.

Chandler: Quarter-circle wha—?

[In one swift motion, Lucy’s character counters Chandler’s attack and lands a powerful finishing blow.]

Game: Knockout! Elder Angler wins!

Elder Angler: Work harder, ya gup!

''[Chandler stares at the screen stupefied while the others congratulate Lucy. He then gives Lucy a glare.]''

Chandler: You cheated.

Clyde: How? Seemed like a fair match to me.

Lincoln: Yeah, Chandler. Don’t be such a sore loser.

Chandler: She wouldn’t have won if you weren’t here to protect her, Larry! Face it, she doesn’t belong here! You just brought her here so that we’d have even teams!

Clyde: Isn’t that the same reason you were inv—?

Chandler: [to Lucy] Get this through your head, Little Miss Spooky. Without your double-crossing brother, you wouldn’t last a day in the real world. Why don’t you just go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and stay there? It’ll save me the trouble of crushing you in laser tag.

''[Lucy looks up at Chandler, her face as stoic as ever. After a beat, the intercom turns on.]''

Spunk E.: Attention, attention! It’s almost time for laser tag! Will the party of Rusty Spokes please report to the arena!

''[Chandler huffs and leaves, but not before pantomiming shooting a gun at Lincoln and Lucy. Lincoln looks over at Lucy.]''

Lincoln: Are you okay? I’m really—

Lucy: [interrupting] Don’t. Just… just don’t. Sigh.

[Lucy walks away without another word.]

Clyde: Dang, bud. Even I can tell she’s upset this time.

Lincoln: [sighs] Yeah. No kidding. What was I thinking, bringing her here? Is laser tag really more important that my own sister’s happiness?

Rusty: Don’t beat yourself up over it, man. It’s not your fault. Besides, maybe she’ll enjoy laser tag.

Lincoln: [glumly] I sure hope so.

''[The boys head over to the arena. All the while, Rocky has a contemplative look on his face.]''

***

''[We cut to the room outside the laser tag arena, where the gang starts gathering around. Mr. Spokes notices the boys and smirks.]''

Mr. Spokes: There’s the man of the hour. How’s everything going, Rusty?

Rusty: Great, Dad. So, everyone ready to do this thing?

[Stella does a quick headcount and frowns.]

Stella: Wait a minute. Lincoln, where’s Lucy?

[The boys give each other a worried look while Chandler, Todd, and Richie start snickering.]

Todd: Maybe she’s hiding with those stupid animatronics.

Chandler: Yeah. Or maybe she ditched her stupid brother when she realized she didn’t belong here.

[Lincoln gnashes his teeth as his hands ball up into fists.]

Mr. Spokes: [raising an eyebrow] Have you guys been giving Rusty’s friends a hard time?

Chandler: What, us? No, never. Of course not. We wouldn’t do a rotten thing like that.

Rocky: [muttering under his breath] Likely story.

Richie: Besides, she’s not really Rusty’s friend. She’s just here so that we’d have even teams.

Clyde: Actually, I’m pretty sure that’s why you guys are here.

Polly: Oof. Shots fired.

Mr. Spokes: [sternly] Okay, everyone. Let’s just settle down here.

Chandler: [scoffs] Right, fine. Whatever. It doesn’t matter, anyway. She’s obviously not gonna—

???: Not gonna what?

[Everyone present jumps as Lucy appears out of seemingly nowhere.]

Chandler: Okay, seriously, Larry! What is up with your weirdo sister? Sheesh, put a bell on her or something!

''[Lucy hangs her head and shuffles her feet. Lincoln lets out an angry snort, follow by a sigh.]''

Lincoln: Rusty, would you mind giving Lucy and me two minutes?

Rusty: Sure, no prob. Do what ya gotta do, Linc.

[Lincoln nods and takes Lucy aside.]

Lincoln: Lucy, look. I’m… really sorry. I was being selfish, and I didn’t care about how you felt. I shouldn’t have dragged you here when you didn’t want to come.

Lucy: [shakes her head] You don’t get it, Lincoln. I did want to come here.

[Lincoln blinks in surprise.]

Lincoln: Wait, what? But I thought you said you were too nervous.

Lucy: Because I am nervous. But I’ve also been trying to have a good time. I mean, I’m hanging out at Spunk E. Pigeon’s with Rocky. I should be having the time of my life. [she slumps over] Sigh. Alas, it’s just as I feared. No one else here really understands me like you and Rocky do.

???: Well, so what?

[Lucy perks up to see Rocky approach her.]

Lucy: Rocky?

Rocky: Lucy, those jerks really don’t know what they’re missing. I’ve been having so much fun with you. You taught me so much about Spunk E. Pigeon; I taught you how to play skee-ball. I’m really glad you decided to come. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if you would.

''[Lucy smiles and blushes. Before she can respond, Stella joins the conversation.]''

Stella: And besides, I think more people understand you than you realize. Trust me, I’m new to Royal Woods. I totally get the feeling of being out of place.

Lucy: You mean that?

Stella: Sure. [she turns to Lincoln] Lincoln, I think your sister Lucy’s pretty cool. I mean, yeah, she can be a bit… plainspoken at times. But I know she doesn’t mean any harm. [she glowers at Chandler and company] It’s more than I can say for those bozos.

Rocky: Yeah. In fact, it’s not your fault you’re not having a good time. It’s those jerks.

Lincoln: But still, I’d understand if you wanna bail. You do you, Lucy. Whatever you decide, I’ll stand by it.

[Lucy thinks for a moment, and then smiles at Lincoln.]

Lucy: I think I’m ready for some laser tag.

Lincoln: [smiles and gives Lucy a hug] Thanks, Luce. [he turns back to Rusty] Alright, Rusty. Let’s do this thing.

Rusty: Alright. Everyone, grab a vest.

''[The kids all put on their vests. Rusty, Lucy, Rocky, Lincoln, and Clyde are on the Orange Team, while Chandler, Todd, Richie, Polly, and Stella are on the Green Team.]''

Polly: [shrugs at Rusty] Sorry, boo. That’s just the way the ball bounces.

Stella: [sighs] Great. I’m stuck with these jerks.

Chandler: Aw, c’mon. You’re on a winning team! We’re gonna dominate those chumps!

Todd: Yeah! Birthday or no birthday, you’re going down, Spokes!

Richie: Hey, Todd. You think Spooky over there even knows how to use that thing?

Todd: [scoffs] Unlikely. This’ll be like shooting fish in a barrel.

Polly: [rolls her eyes] And people whine about my ego.

Stella: For once, I have to agree with you, Polly Pain.

Mr. Spokes: Alright, everyone. Let’s keep it friendly and fair.

Rusty: You got it, Pops.

Chandler: Pfft. Whatever. [he sneers at Lincoln] Prepare to get wrecked, Larry.

[The door to the arena opens, and both teams walk inside and go to their respective corners.]

Lincoln: Okay, Lucy. I know you haven’t played this before, so try and stick by me. I’ll make sure nothing—

Spunk E.: Round One! Begin!

''[The lights in the arena dim, with only glow-in-the-dark obstacles and vests providing any illumination. Through the glow, Lincoln sees that Lucy’s mouth is hanging open in astonishment. Slowly, her expression changes to a small grin.]''

Lincoln: On second thought, do whatever you want. I think this is your home turf.

Rocky: Home turf? What does he mean by that?

Lucy: [cocks her laser pistol] It means it’s time for us to really have some fun.

***

''[We cut to a laser tag montage. First, we see Rusty being pinned down by Polly and Stella.]''

Rusty: Ladies, ladies! I know I’m irresistible, but give a guy a break, would ya?

Polly: You can’t flatter your way out of this one, birthday man! Come on out and face the Pain!

???: Excuse me.

''[Before Polly can react to the mysterious voice, she gets tagged several times. Stella turns to face the attacker, only to see no one there. While she’s distracted, Rusty tags her.]''

Rusty: Boo-yah! So, now that I’ve hit you with Cupid’s laser, you owe me a kiss. [he winks at Stella]

''[Stella gives Rusty a bemused look before tagging him back. She and Polly then retreat.]''

Rusty: [hollering after Stella] Can I take that as a “maybe?!”

Stella: [sighs] I really don’t know what you see in him, Polly.

Polly: [shrugs] Eh, mainly the fact that he can take a beating. Seriously, Rust Bucket’s a real trooper. I do wish he’d tone down the whole Ladies’ Man routine, though.

Stella: Preaching to the choir there, sister.

***

[Next, we see Todd and Richie on the prowl.]

Todd: Alright, you take Rusty’s snot-nosed brother; I’ll take Loud’s kid sister.

Richie: Hey, wait a minute! I thought we agreed that I’d take Loud’s creepy sister and you’d take Rusty’s dorky brother!

Todd: Are you seriously getting hung up on this? They’re both easy pickings, anyway. I bet they’re both crying in the corner.

???: That is a bet you would lose.

''[Todd is suddenly tagged several times. Richie tries to find the attacker, but he sees no one there.]''

Richie: Okay, who’s the wise guy? Come on out!

''[Rocky comes out from behind a pillar, his arms raised in the air. Richie sneers.]''

Richie: Heh. Not so tough now, are ya?

???: Neither are you.

''[Richie turns around, only to find no one there. While he’s distracted, Rocky tags him in the back.]''

Rocky: That one’s for Spunk E. Pigeon.

Richie: [snarls and spins around] Oh, is that how it’s gonna be? Well, say your prayers, you little—

???: Boo.

''[Richie shrieks like a little girl as he’s tagged several more times. He and Todd are forced to retreat.]''

Todd: This is just Round One, punks! You won’t be so lucky next time!

***

''[We cut to the end of Round One, and the Orange Team has a significant lead. Chandler is less than happy about this.]''

Chandler: This shouldn’t be that hard, guys! I mean, who do they have? Larry, his creepy little sis—

Stella: [raises her hand] Okay, yeah. I wasn’t gonna say anything at first, but his name’s Lincoln, not Larry. Why do you keep calling him that?

[Beat]

Chandler: As I was saying, we shouldn’t be getting our butts handed to us by those clowns! Let’s step it up, people! But remember, Larry’s mine.

Stella: [sarcastically] Or, y’know, just ignore me. That… that’s fine.

Polly: At least tell me you have a strategy this time, dude. I think that’s part of the reason why we…

Spunk E.: Round Two! Begin!

[Chandler, Todd, and Richie dart off.]

Polly: Okay, cowboy approach it is, then. Because that worked so well last time. [she sighs and turns to Stella] Boys. Amiright? I’d better go make sure they don’t get themselves slaughtered.

''[She then follows them into the arena. Stella sighs.]''

Stella: It’s times like this when I feel like I’ve missed so much of what’s been going on in this crazy town.

???: So while the world doesn’t understand me, you feel you don’t understand the world.

Stella: Yeah, exact—

''[She stops short when she’s tagged several times from behind. She turns around to see Lucy pointing her laser gun right at her.]''

Stella: What? But, how did you—?

Lucy: [shrugs] It’s just how I move through the universe.

[After a beat, Stella lets out a small chuckle.]

Stella: Well played.

[Lucy nods and disappears into the shadows.]

***

''[The montage continues with Rusty and Rocky being pinned down by Todd and Richie. Rusty fires blindly at the two bullies.]''

Rocky: Do you even know what you’re hitting?

Rusty: Nope. Just keeping them honest.

Rocky: [annoyed] More like giving away our position.

Todd: It’s no use, Spokes! We’re gonna take our your base!

Richie: Yeah! Best to just give up now!

Rusty: [sneers] That’s what you think! Get ‘em, guys!

???: Clincoln McCloud Pincer Maneuver!

''[Todd and Richie find themselves outflanked by Lincoln and Clyde. Outnumbered and outgunned, they are forced to retreat.]''

Lincoln: I think it’s time for the final push! Rusty, your orders!

Rusty: Rocky, you keep guarding the base. Lincoln, Clyde, you’re with me.

Rocky: What about Lucy?

[Before Rusty can respond, Polly darts out of cover and tags Clyde.]

Polly: Heh, don’t count me out so easily, Rust Bucket! Time for you to face the—

???: Boo.

''[Polly is tagged several times from behind. She turns and sees Lucy stepping out of the shadows.]''

Polly: [scoffs] Clever girl. [she retreats]

Rusty: [smirks] I think she can keep doing what she’s doing.

''[Rocky nods and smiles. Lincoln and Rusty rush off while Clyde goes to recharge. Lucy slinks back into the shadows.]''

***

''[Rusty and Lincoln arrive at the Green Team’s base. Stella has already recharged while Todd and Richie have just gotten back.]''

Lincoln: No sign of Polly or Chandler, but I’m not sure I like our odds. Maybe we should wait for Clyde.

Rusty: Pfft. What’re you so worried about, Lincoln? We’re totally crushing ‘em. I say we finish this right here and now!

Lincoln: Rusty, I know it’s your birthday and you’re calling the shots, but I really think we should wait for…

[But Rusty has already darted out of cover, firing his laser gun wildly.]

Rusty: RUSTY SPOKES~!

''[Before he gets too far, he is gunned down by Stella. Lincoln facepalms.]''

Lincoln: Dang it. Every time.

''[He suddenly hears a devious snicker behind him. He turns to see Chandler, aiming directly at him.]''

Chandler: Looks like you’ve been outmatched, you little two-faced weasel.

Lincoln: Okay, I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I really don’t get this. Is this because I stopped letting you use me to get free food from Gus’s Games and Grub? Is that why you have it out for me?

Chandler: We could’ve been friends, Larry. We had a good thing going, and you just threw it all away.

Lincoln: Chandler, we were never really friends. You were just using me.

Chandler: Then I guess it’s just your word against mine. [shrugs] It doesn’t matter, anyway. You’re finished. And after I’m done with you, I’ll be taking care of your creepy spook of a sister.

[Todd and Richie appear and flank Lincoln.]

Todd: This is the end, Loud.

Richie: Yeah, say goodnight.

''[Lincoln doesn’t appear the least bit intimidated. He simply puts his hands up.]''

Chandler: Not even gonna put up a fight, huh? Fine by me. Smell ya later, Larry.

???: His name is Lincoln.

[Todd is suddenly tagged multiple times.]

Richie: How’d he get reinforcements so quickly?!

Chandler: [snarls] Take care of it!

[Before Richie can move, he’s tagged multiple times.]

Todd: I don’t like this, man!

Richie: We gotta get outta here!

[They both retreat.]

Chandler: Get back here, you cowards! There’s nothing to be afraid of!

???: They seem to disagree.

''[Chandler yelps as the voice is now directly behind him. He turns around and sees Lucy, who has her laser gun trained on him.]''

Chandler: Wha—? You?! You were the one who kept ambushing us the whole time?!

Lucy: [shrugs] Well, I can’t take all the credit. But I always did like the dark.

Chandler: This is impossible! You’re just a little creep! You’re not supposed to like this stuff!

Lucy: [snippily] Oh, so you somehow know me better than I know myself, huh? You can’t even get my brother’s name right; what makes you think you know anything about me?

Chandler: Sh-shut up! I know you were dragged here just so we could play laser tag!

Lucy: And it appears you don’t understand my brother, either. Sigh. You are truly a lost cause.

Lincoln: Besides, we all know that’s why you’re here. Projecting much?

[Chandler turns to see Lincoln has gotten his bearings and now has his laser gun trained on him.]

Chandler: [sputtering] This…  How…? I…

Lucy: You and your cohorts tried to spread misfortune throughout the day, yet you’re the ones who fall. You reap what you sow.

[Lucy and Lincoln proceed to pepper Chandler with laser blasts until the timer runs out.]

Spunk E.: Round Two over! Orange Team wins!

[The kids check the leaderboard.]

Rocky: Holy schamoly! Lucy, look! You scored the most tags out of all of us!

Stella: I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone get that kind of score at laser tag! You’re something else, Lucy!

Lucy: [shrugs] What can I say? I’m just full of surprises.

***

''[We cut to the dining room of Spunk E. Pigeon’s. Everyone is enjoying their pizza, with the exception of Chandler, Todd, and Richie, who are sulking in the corner.]''

Rusty: Now this is a party I’m gonna remember for a long time. I can’t thank you guys enough for coming.

Clyde: No problem, man. It was a blast.

Rocky: And thank you for deciding to come, Lucy. I don’t think this party would’ve been as much fun without you.

Lucy: No, thank you for inviting me. Things may have been awkward for me at times, but overall, this was a lot of fun.

Polly: I’ll say. Man, I really wish I was on your team in that laser tag game, Lucy. You’re like a freaking ninja! You gotta teach me how to do that sometime.

Lincoln: You see, Lucy? Even when people don’t understand you, that doesn’t mean they’ll reject you. And those that do will never understand what a great person you are, and that’s on them.

Lucy: You’re right, Lincoln. I’m really glad I know that now.

[Everyone stares oddly at Lucy’s subtle smirk.]

Lincoln: [grins] Trust me, she’s glad.

The End

Triva

 * The scene with Luan originally starred Haiku, but I found it to be a bit too esoteric.
 * There was originally a joke where Rusty invited a really dorky kid named Larry, and when picking teams for laser tag, Chandler tries to pick Lincoln to separate him from Lucy, only to pick Larry.  This scene was cut because I thought it was too soon for him to get his comeuppance.