Thread:MrTyeDye/@comment-43394685-20190913214817/@comment-32202721-20190914143104

Thanks! Always glad to meet a fan.

I just blazed through the fanfic, and here are my notes:

- I'm always a sucker for cute sibling bonding moments, so you have me sold on that. On top of that, I like the idea of Lincoln seeking reassurance from his sister after just having a nightmare about her. That said, I think it would help to establish earlier that Lincoln's nightmare involved Lori - show his apprehension when approaching her, and maybe have him flinch when she snaps at him.

- Secondly - and I'm only saying this to help you - you really need to either take more time to proofread or look for a beta reader. I noticed numerous errors in the first paragraph alone ("jolt his head out of his head", "it's" when you meant "its", "hollister" in place of "holster") (and on a more nitpicky note, the holster holds the gun, not the bullets. The barrel is what the bullets come out of).