User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: Respect My Responsibility

Leni Loud is known for being a ditz, but she's also known for being a big sweetheart. There's even an entire episode dedicated to showing how nice she is.  But while I love that episode for a multitude of reasons (namely that they didn't have Leni forget her virtues and turn her into an unlikeable monster), the karmic boomerang ending felt a bit too clean for me. I don't know how I'd write it better (or even if I would), but I still think Leni needs to learn that there's a midpoint between being a doormat and being a bully. And that's what this fan episode will tackle. Wish me luck as I present to you:

Respect My Responsibility
Plot Summary: While the parents take Lori into the city to look at colleges, Leni is left in charge for the very first time.

Script
''[We open at the park. Lana and Lisa are playing in the sandbox while Leni is watching them from a park bench. After a beat, Leni notices the audience. She smiles and waves.]''

Leni: Oh, hi! Didn’t see you there. You guys must be the people Lincoln talks to all the time. It’s, like, so nice to finally meet you! I was just looking after Lana and Lisa here. Care to join me?

[Beat]

Leni: Great! [she turns back to the sandbox] Y’know, when Lori goes off to college, I’m gonna be doing this a lot more. Looking after my younger siblings, I mean. At least, I think that’s how it’s gonna work. Usually when Mom and Dad are out and Lori’s not in charge, Lincoln’s the one who steps up. But he’s, like, eleven. Asking him to take care of all of us wouldn’t be fair.

[She then notices Lana emerge from the sand, holding what appears to be a half-eaten cookie.]

Lana: Hey, Leni! Is it okay if I eat this?

Leni: Ew, gross! Absolutely not! You don’t know where that’s been!

Lana: Yes I do. It was in the sandbox.

[Beat]

Leni: Oh. Okay then.

Lana: Sweet! Thanks, Leni! [she chows down]

Lisa: [deadpan] Swing and a miss.

''[Leni sighs and turns to the camera. After a beat, she pouts.]''

Leni: What? Don’t look at me like that. It’s not like I can stop Lana from being gross, anyway. [sighs again] But I guess if I’m gonna be taking over for Lori, I’m gonna have to be more strict. But I don’t wanna be the next Queen of No, y’know? That’s not me. But, should it be me? I dunno. I haven’t really thought about it all that much.

Lana: Oh, hey! There’s some dry dog poop in here, too! I bet you could use this for your fecal studies, Lisa!

Lisa: While that is true, I do wish the patrons of this park didn’t treat the public sandbox like some sort of garbage scow. How is one supposed to practice conducting archeological surveys in this mess, I ask you?

Lana: [shrugs] Don’t know, don’t care. I just like digging for stuff.

[While Lana and Lisa continue playing, Leni smiles and shrugs.]

Leni: I suppose I have time to figure it out. And when you think about it, this is pretty good practice. I’m sure that by the time Lori leaves, I’ll be ready for anything.

''[Just then, Leni’s phone rings. She checks it before giving the audience a sheepish look.]''

Leni: Sorry, guys. I gotta take this. [she answers her phone] Hi, Dad. Yeah, Lana and Lisa are fine. Uh-huh. [she frowns] Are you sure? It’s a bit early. Uh-huh. Okay, I’ll tell them. We’ll be home soon. Love you, too. Bye. [she hangs up and gets up from the bench]

Lisa: I take it this expedition has to be cut short?

Leni: ‘Fraid so, guys. Dad said he has something important to discuss with me at home.

Lana: Aw, what?! I was just about to find more treasure! [she flashes puppy-dog eyes at Leni] One more dive. Please~?

[Beat]

Leni: [sighs] Oh, alright. But just one, and then we’re going straight home.

''[Lana wastes no time diving into the sand again. Lisa sighs and shakes her head.]''

Leni: [pouts] I don’t wanna hear it, Lisa.

Lisa: [dryly] I didn’t say anything.

[Beat]

Leni: Oh, yeah. Good point.

[Lisa groans and facepalms.]

***

''[We cut to the master bedroom of the Loud House. Leni is sitting on the bed, nervously twiddling her thumbs. Lynn Sr., Rita, and Lori are in a huddle, engaged in a hushed debate.]''

Rita: I don’t know, Lynn. Are we sure about this?

Lynn Sr.: Honestly, no. But I think it’s best if we left this up to her.

Lori: Look, maybe we can do this another time…

Rita: I’m afraid that might not be possible, sweetie. There’s only so much time we have left.

Lori: But I don’t know if she’s ready.

Lynn Sr.: Trust me, honey. We all feel the same way. Which is why I think we should let Leni weigh in on this herself.

Lori: [deadpans] Dad, you know what she’s gonna say.

''[The three of them go around and around while Leni waits. Finally, she gets up.]''

Leni: I mean, if you guys still need a minute, I can—

[Lynn Sr. sighs and turns to Leni.]

Lynn Sr.: Sorry, honey. It’s just… [sighs again] Look, I really want you to pay attention here, Leni. We’re going to be asking a lot of you, and we want to be sure you’re ready. You have every right to say no if you feel you’re not up for it, okay?

[Leni fidgets a bit and sits back down, looking rather concerned.]

Leni: Y-yeah, totes. Wh-what’s the problem?

Rita: [sighs] It’s like this, Leni. Your father and I are taking Lori into the city tomorrow. We need to help her pick a college. Problem is, we don’t know when we’ll be back.

Leni: [tilts her head] That doesn’t sound too bad. We can just go over to Pop-Pop’s, right?

Lynn Sr.: [sheepishly] Well, that’s the thing. Pop-Pop’s away with Myrtle right now. And I don’t think there are enough Lynnsagnas in the world to convince Mr. Grouse to look after all of you guys. So, you have two choices.

Leni: Which are?

Rita: You guys can either stay at Aunt Ruth’s, or…

''[She trails off, looking at Lynn Sr. nervously. Lynn Sr. returns her nervous stare. Lori appears equally concerned.]''

Leni: Or what? What’s the other choice?

Lori: The other choice is that… we leave you in charge.

[Leni’s eyes go wide.]

Leni: H-huh? B-but you’ve never left me in charge before.

Rita: We know. We understand if you feel you’re not up for it.

[Leni looks down and rubs her arm.]

Leni: Well, gosh. I-I dunno. I mean, I’ve watched my younger siblings before, but not all of them at once. D-do you really think I can handle it?

Lynn Sr.: We want you to decide that, honey. Remember, you’re not being forced into this.

''[Leni hems and haws for a bit, clearly unable to make up her mind. Lori sighs and approaches her, placing a hand on her shoulder.]''

Lori: Listen, Leni. When I go off to college, you’re gonna be the oldest sibling in the house. That means there are gonna be times when you’re put in charge, whether you like it or not. I know you’re scared; I felt the same way the first time I was put in charge. But if you ask me, the sooner you prepare for this, the better off you’ll be in the long run. [she smirks] Besides, it has to be better than staying with Aunt Ruth, amiright?

Rita: [sternly] Lori…

Lori: Mom, you literally can’t walk two inches into her house without stepping on a cat. I’m not trying to insult her; that’s just a fact.

Lynn Sr.: She has a point, honey.

[Rita groans and pinches the bridge of her nose.]

Rita: Let’s not make this about Aunt Ruth, please. [she looks at Leni] Sweetie, we really want you to think about this. This is a lot of responsibility, and we don’t want you to say yes just so you won’t have to stay with Aunt Ruth.

''[Leni looks off to the side and twiddles her fingers. After a beat, she nods.]''

Leni: Well, I-I’m still kinda nervous. But, if this is something I need to learn, then I’ll do it. Just… one thing.

Lori: What is it, Leni?

Leni: Can you guys go easy on me, please?

[Beat]

Lori: Why are you asking us to go easy on you?

Leni: Oh, I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the others. They’re probably upstairs eavesdropping through the bathroom vent.

Lynn Sr.: What, again?! [he shakes his fist at the ceiling] Dang it, kids! Didn’t you learn anything from the tie incident?!

''[We pan upstairs to the bathroom. Sure enough, the rest of the Loud siblings are huddled around the vent and listening in.]''

Lincoln: [facepalms] Seriously, Leni?

Lynn: [hollering through the vent] Weak!

Lucy: Sigh. I warned you guys this was a bad idea. The spirits never lie.

Lisa: Hmph. A mere coincidence, at best.

Lola: It doesn’t matter. We got what we came for. [she grins evilly and begins wringing her hands] This is gonna be fun.

Lori: [from below] Guys, you know we can literally still hear you, right?

[The Loud siblings yelp and scatter.]

***

''[The next morning, Leni is sitting on the couch with a notepad and pen. Lynn Sr., Rita, and Lori are just about ready to leave.]''

Lynn Sr.: Now, we’re probably gonna be gone for a few days; three at most. There should be enough leftovers to last you guys until we get back, but we’re also leaving you some money in case you want to order pizza or something.

Leni: [while writing] Three days, leftovers, money for pizza. Got it. And if something really bad happens, like Code Magenta level bad, I should call one of the numbers on that list by the phone, right?

[Beat]

Rita: I’m sorry, Code Magenta is…

Lori: An ear zit.

[Beat]

Rita: The numbers aren’t for that kind of emergency, Leni.

Leni: [rolls her eyes] Well, duh~. I know that. I was, like, doing that thingie where you use one thingie to talk about another thingie.

Lynn Sr.: Do you mean making an analogy?

Leni: Yeah, that thingie.

[Beat]

Rita: Oh. Well, in that case, yes. If there’s a Code Magenta, the emergency contacts are by the phone.

[Leni gives Rita an odd look.]

Lori: She’s using your analogy, Leni.

Leni: Oh, right. I-I knew that. [she scribbles in her notepad]

Lynn Sr.: And please please please remember to keep the front door locked.

Leni: What if we need to go outside?

[Beat]

Lynn Sr.: [sighs] Right. Okay. When you’re not using the front door, keep it locked. And only answer it for people that you know.

Leni: Oh~. I get it now. [she scribbles in her notepad] That goes for the back door and windows, too, right?

Lynn Sr.: Absolutely.

Lori: [smirks] Y’know, I’m impressed. You’re really on top of this, Leni.

Leni: Thanks, Lori. [sighs] I’m still nervous, though. I didn’t think I’d have to be doing this so soon.

Rita: It’s not too late to change your mind, sweetie. We can still take you guys to Aunt Ruth.

[Leni thinks for a moment.]

Leni: I think the practice is more important.

Lori: [chuckles] Well, look who sounds all grown up. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

[Leni blushes.]

Rita: [clears her throat] Well, I think we’ve covered the basics. Are we forgetting anything, honey?

Lynn Sr.: Not that I can think of. I mean, I suppose we could show Leni where we keep the will.

[Lori’s eyes bug out.]

Lori: [hastily] M-maybe that’s not such a good idea, Dad. W-we’re just looking at colleges in the city, after all. I-I’m sure we’ll be fine. B-besides, I don’t think Leni needs the extra stress.

Leni: [tilts her head] Wait, what’re you talking about? Who’s Will?

Lori: Y-you’ll learn about that when you’re older. [chuckles nervously]

[Leni blinks and tilts her head in confusion before shrugging her shoulders.]

Lynn Sr.: I suppose that’s fair. Leni, do you have any other questions for us before we go?

[Leni takes a moment to look over the notes she made.]

Leni: I think I understand everything.

Rita: Well, we all have our phones with us if you need our help with anything. [she then smiles] We’re very proud of you for deciding to do this, sweetie. It means a lot to us.

Leni: [blushes] Th-thanks, Mom.

Lynn Sr.: [hollers upstairs] Kids! We’re leaving! Leni’s in charge!

Rita: I guess this is it. We’ll be back in a few days. Try not to let the kids destroy the house.

Leni: I won’t. [beat] Let them destroy the house, I mean; not that I won’t try to not let… [her eyes cross] Uh…

Rita: [giggles] I know what you meant, sweetie. [she gives Leni a hug] Good luck.

Leni: Thanks, Mom. You, too.

Lynn Sr.: [brushes a tear from his eye] You guys just grow up so fast. Just keep in mind everything we told you, and you should be fine, honey.

Leni: Will do. Have fun in the city, guys.

''[Lynn Sr., Rita, and Lori walk out the front door. Before Lori leaves, she smiles at Leni and gives her a salute. Leni smiles and salutes back. She then closes the door and locks it before breathing out a sigh.]''

Leni: Okay, Leni. You got this.

***

''[We cut to Lisa and Lily’s room. Lisa and Lincoln watch from the bedroom window as Vanzilla pulls out of the driveway and drives off.]''

Lincoln: I don’t know about this, Lisa. Leni in charge? Do you think she knows what she’s doing?

Lisa: [furrowing her brow] That’s actually a difficult question to answer, Lincoln. While I do admire Leni’s courage for taking up such a daunting task, it is still Leni we’re talking about.

Lincoln: I’m right there with you, Lis’. And personally, I don’t want a repeat of the Lori Coup Catastrophe.

Lisa: Likewise. I take it you have a plan?

Lincoln: [smirks] When do I not?

Lisa: [deadpans] Don’t get cute with me, sibling. Just tell me what you have in mind.

[Lincoln begins pacing back and forth, stroking his chin in thought.]

Lincoln: We know Leni isn’t going to be like Lori. I can’t even imagine her trying to punish us if we misbehave. So someone’s gonna have to back her up if things get dicey.

Lisa: And I presume that someone is you?

Lincoln: [shrugs] Who else would it be? I don’t mean to brag or anything, but I’ve kept you guys in line before.

Lisa: [folds her arms] Not during the Lori Coup Catastrophe, you didn’t. Nor the time when you took us to the mall just to get some book autographed.

Lincoln: [sheepishly] Okay, so I don’t have a perfect track record. But this is different. I’m not doing this for myself. I really want to help Leni out here.

Lisa: I’ll grant you that much. Nevertheless, I ask that you allow me to assist you. I’ve had firsthand experience with Leni’s guardianship skills, and I believe that she could use all the help she can get.

Lincoln: [nods] Thanks, Lisa. I’m glad you’re on my side for this one.

Lisa: Let’s just hope I’m not the only one.

***

''[Later that day, Lola pokes her head into the kitchen and looks around. Once she sees that the coast is clear, she sneaks over to the fridge with a chair. Climbing onto the chair, she rummages through the freezer and takes out a pint of ice cream. Licking her lips, she climbs down and takes a seat at the kitchen table. Before she can dig in, Leni appears, looking rather skeptical.]''

Lola: O-oh! Hey, Leni! I was just, um…

Leni: Lola, you know you can’t have ice cream for lunch.

Lola: [thinking quickly] O-oh, this isn’t lunch! It’s, uh… breakfast dessert! Yeah, that’s it. I can have breakfast dessert, right?

''[Leni looks over at the clock on the wall. She sees that it’s noon. She turns back to Lola, raising an eyebrow.]''

Leni: Lola, just how dumb do you think I am?

[Lola gulps and tugs at her collar.]

Lola: Th-there’s no good way to answer that ques—

Leni: It’s past noon. It’s, like, totally too late for breakfast dessert. It’s lunchtime now, and you should have a proper lunch.

[Lola blinks in surprise.]

Lola: Oh. W-well, this is brunch dessert, then.

Leni: Really? Did you finish your brunch?

[Beat]

Lola: No, I had breakfast.

Leni: Then you can’t have brunch dessert, can you?

Lola: [groans] Aw, c’mon, Leni! Have a heart!

Leni: I already have one, thank you. And it’s telling me that you shouldn’t be eating ice cream right now.

''[Lola pouts and sulks before an idea pops into her head. She grins slyly.]''

Lola: But Leni, you don’t wanna be the next Queen of No, do you?

''[Leni opens her mouth to reply, but finds that she doesn’t have a response. She furrows her brow and strokes her chin in thought.]''

Leni: Actually, I don’t know. I’m not really sure what I should be.

Lola: Well, if you want my opinion, I think you should be… [she pauses for dramatic effect and flicks her hair] laissez faire~.

[Leni envisions herself as a pixie laid out on the couch and watching TV.]

Leni: A… lazy fairy?

[Beat]

Lola: Eh, close enough.

Leni: What does it mean to be a lazy fairy?

Lola: Oh. It means to be kind and sweet and thoughtful. Y’know, like you normally are.

[Leni envisions the lazy fairy sharing her snacks with another lazy fairy while also blowdrying her hair.]

Leni: I’m… still confused.

Lola: [sighs] Look, just be yourself. Just because you’re in charge doesn’t mean you should do what Lori does.

[Leni thinks for a moment and then shrugs.]

Leni: I guess you’re right. You can have ice cream, but just a little bit.

Lola: Yay~! Thank you, Leni!

''[Leni nods and smiles before leaving the kitchen. Lola giggles evilly before taking a spoonful of ice cream. Before she can eat, Lincoln and Lisa show up, giving her a disapproving look.]''

Lola: What?

Lisa: You don’t know what laissez faire means, either, do you?

Lola: [shrugs] It’s a fancy French word for something. That’s all I need to know. Besides, Leni said it was okay.

Lincoln: Well, we say it’s not.

Lola: [scoffs] Well, you’re not in charge. So nyah~!

Lincoln: Lola, tricking Leni like that was not very nice.

Lola: [dismissively] What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

Lisa: Really now? Then perhaps we should inform her of your deception. What say you, elder male sibling?

[Lola suddenly turns pale.]

Lola: W-wait! I-I’ll give you some of my ice cream if you don’t tell!

Lincoln: I have a better idea. How about you put the ice cream back where you found it, and we can forget this ever happened?

[Beat]

Lola: [scowls] You fight dirty, Lincoln Loud. Don’t think this is over.

[Lola reluctantly puts the ice cream back while Lincoln and Lisa nod to each other.]

***

''[We cut to Lynn and Lucy’s room. Lynn is putting on a helmet and wearing a bungie cord around her waist. Luan and Lucy are with her, giving her an incredulous look.]''

Lucy: Y’know, Lynn. If you want to talk to Great Grandma Harriet this badly, you can just ask me to conduct a séance.

Luan: Yeah, I’m with Lucy on this one. When I asked you for suggestions for a new act for Polly Pain’s birthday party this weekend, I wasn’t expecting one of those acts you can only do once.

Lynn: [shrugs] This is the kinda stuff Polly’s into, Lu’. I don’t know what else to tell ya.

Luan: [smirks] Well, in that case, no wonder he last name is Pain. [laughs] Get it?

[Lynn and Lucy groan.]

Luan: But seriously, are you sure it’s a good idea to practice this stunt from our roof?

Lynn: [scoffs] Sheesh, for someone who once constructed a booby-trapped motel, I never would’ve pegged you as being a wuss, Luan. Just relax, will ya? I’m gonna be fine.

Lucy: You always say that right before you have to be rushed over to the hospital.

Lynn: Oh, hardy har har. Look, Lori’s never gonna let me bungie jump off the roof, and Mom and Dad aren’t gonna let me bungie jump period. This might be the only chance I get to do something as cool as this.

Luan: What about Leni?

Lynn: What about her?

Lucy: She’s in charge. Shouldn’t you be worried about what she has to say about this?

''[Before Lynn can respond, Leni walks by. She waves to them.]''

Leni: Hi, guys. Just making sure everything’s okay. [she notices Lynn’s bungie cord] Ooh, nice belt, Lynn. Where’d you get it?

''[Lynn stares blankly at Leni, sweat trickling from her brow. She turns to Luan and Lucy for help.]''

Luan: Don’t look at us. You’re the one who wants to bungie jump off the roof.

Leni: [horrified] Wait, you want to what?!

Lynn: [growls] Nice going, blabbermouth. [she sighs and turns to Leni] Look, Luan wants an act for Polly’s birthday party, and I suggested bungie jumping. I figured we could practice here, seeing as Mom and Dad are out of town.

Leni: [folds her arms] Lynn, I don’t want to have a Code Magenta on my hands.

[Beat]

Luan: Isn’t that an ear zit?

Leni: Yes, but it’s also one of those analogy thingies. Point is, you are not jumping off of the roof, and that’s that.

Lynn: Aw, c’mon, Leni! You act like I’m not even wearing a bungie cord!

Leni: The belt is a good look for you; I’ll give you that much. But I don’t see what it has to do with you jumping off of the roof.

[Lynn sputters incoherently before growling in frustration and palming her face.]

Lynn: Alright, fine! Sheesh, I didn’t know you were training to be the next Queen of No.

[Leni’s expression softens.]

Leni: Well, I’m not. At least, I don’t want to. That’s, like, not who I am. I think I wanna be more like a lazy fairy.

''[Luan, Lynn, and Lucy stare blankly at Leni. They envision Leni as a fairy sleeping in while her alarm clock rings incessantly.]''

Luan: I’m sorry, a what?

Leni: A lazy fairy. Y’know, someone who’s kind and thoughtful.

[Luan, Lynn, and Lucy envision the lazy fairy sharing her bed with another lazy fairy.]

Luan: Still totally lost.

Leni: Yeah, I kinda don’t get it, either.

[Suddenly, Lynn gets an idea.]

Lynn: [slyly] Well, if you’re so thoughtful, you’d understand that I know what I’m doing here. Everything’s perfectly safe, I promise.

[Leni thinks for a moment.]

Leni: Hmm. You do know more about this stuff than I do. So, I guess it’s okay. But I’m holding you to that promise, Lynn. If I see a single scratch on you, you’re gonna be in, like, so much trouble.

Lynn: [raises her pinkie finger] Not a scratch on me. Pinkie swear. [smirks] Thanks, Leni.

''[Leni nods and goes on her merry way. Lynn sneers at Luan and Lucy.]''

Luan: Five bucks says you can’t keep that promise.

Lynn: You’re on.

Lucy: Sigh. You just had to encourage her, didn’t you?

''[Lynn opens her window and is about to climb out. Before she can do so, Lincoln catches her.]''

Lincoln: Lynn! What the heck are you doing?!

Lynn: Relax, guys. Leni said it was okay.

Lincoln: [arching an eyebrow] Did she really, or did you just trick her into saying that?

Lynn: [shrugs] Pa-ta-toe, pa-tah-toe.

''[She climbs onto the windowsill and grabs the side of the house. When she tries to climb to the roof, she slips and falls out of her window. The bungie cord flexes taut, suspending her in midair. She grunts and struggles, flailing her limbs about. The other siblings stick their heads out of the window.]''

Lucy: [facetiously] Having a bit of trouble down there, Lynn?

Lynn: [growls] Sh-shut up. I-I got this. J-just gotta… [she continues to struggle]

Luan: [facetiously] Oh dear. It appears you’re not as safe as you thought you were, Lynn. Maybe we should tell Leni…

Lynn: [blanches] N-no no no! D-don’t tell her!

Lincoln: We won’t, if you come back inside.

[Beat]

Lynn: [sulks] Fine. You killjoys wanna lend me a hand?

''[Luan and Lincoln nod, and the two of them pull Lynn back inside. Lynn grumbles as she takes off the bungie cord.]''

Luan: Just be glad it was the joy that was killed and not yourself. [laughs] Get it?

[The other siblings groan.]

***

[That evening, Leni is in the kitchen, putting a pan of goulash on the stove.]

Leni: No split ends for you this time.

''[Lisa walks by and notices Leni cooking dinner. Her face clouds over with concern as she approaches her.]''

Lisa: Is everything copacetic in here, second eldest sister?

[Leni gives Lisa an odd look.]

Leni: Is everything what?

Lisa: [sighs wearily] Remind me to get you a thesaurus one of these days. [clears her throat] I was just wondering how dinner’s coming along.

Leni: Oh. Yeah, dinner should be ready in a few minutes. We’re having goulash!

???: Seriously, Leni? What happened to being laissez faire?

''[Leni and Lisa turn to see Lola enter the kitchen. Lisa narrows her eyes while Leni blinks in confusion.]''

Leni: What does being a lazy fairy have to do with making dinner?

Lola: Let me ask you this, Leni. Do you want goulash for dinner?

[Beat]

Leni: Yeah, I kinda do. Dad’s goulash is, like, the best.

Lola: [facepalms] Let me rephrase that. Given the choice, would you rather have icky goulash for dinner, or would you rather get pizza?

[Leni thinks for a moment.]

Leni: Well, I guess when you put it that way, pizza does sound better.

Lola: Exactly! So how about you just forget about the goulash and order us some pizza?

Leni: But if I forget about the goulash, it’ll get burned. I don’t wanna waste Dad’s food.

Lola: [shrugs] Very well. Have fun cooking, [she grins evilly] Your Majesty.

[Leni flinches and gives Lola a look.]

Leni: What?

Lola: Oh, nothing. I just figured I’d address you properly. After all, you obviously decided to be the Queen of No instead of laissez faire.

[Leni looks over at the goulash, then at Lola.]

Leni: I dunno, Lola. Would a lazy fairy really leave her perfectly good goulash to burn on the stove?

''[Lola envisions Leni as a lazy fairy ordering pizza while a smoke alarm blares in the background. Firefighter fairies dart past her in a wild panic while she just sits on the couch and watches TV. Lola shudders at the thought.]''

Lisa: [smugly] She’s right, sibling. Leaving the goulash unattended would be a serious fire hazard. We don’t want that, do we?

Lola: [gulps nervously] Um, maybe turn the stove off first?

Leni: Why? Is the goulash defrosted already? [she looks back at the stew]

Lola: [facepalms] Leni, someone who’s laissez faire wouldn’t even make goulash in the first place!

Leni: [pouts] Well, you should’ve told me that before I started cooking. It’s a bit too late for that now. Sorry, Lola. We’ll have pizza another night. That’s my promise as a lazy fairy.

[Lola growls and turns to Lisa.]

Lola: C’mon, Lisa, back me up here. I know you would take pizza over goulash any day. We all would.

Lisa: My preference is irrelevant, sibling. Leni’s the one in charge, so the menu is whatever she says it is. There’s no use debating the matter.

[Lola huffs and storms out.]

Leni: Uh, thanks, Lisa. But next time, let me speak for myself, okay?

Lisa: [sheepishly] Um, sure. Apologies.

Leni: It’s fine. [beat] Looks like the goulash is just about done. Can you tell the others that dinner’s ready, please?

Lisa: Will do, sibling.

''[Leni carries the goulash into the dining room. Lisa notices that she had neglected to turn off the stove. Thinking quickly, she hops onto a chair and does so herself, breathing a sigh of relief.]''

Leni: [pokes her head through the kitchen doorway] Everything okay in there, Lisa?

Lisa: [hastily] Y-yes, Leni. Everything’s copacetic.

[Beat]

Leni: That means “okay,” right?

Lisa: Affirmative.

Leni: [nods] Good.

''[She heads back to the dining room. Lisa breathes another sigh of relief and heads upstairs.]''

***

''[We cut to Luna and Luan’s room later that night. Luna appears to be tossing and turning in bed while Luan is cracking jokes in her sleep.]''

Luan: [sleep-talking] Why did the sheep keep going straight on the highway? Because no ewe turns were allowed. [laughs]

''[The door creaks open, revealing a nervous-looking Lana. She tiptoes into the room and climbs up into Luna’s bunk. She starts trying to nudge Luna awake.]''

Lana: [whispering] Luna. H-hey, Luna.

Luna: [muttering] N-no…  I-I don’t wanna…

Lana: Luna, c’mon. Please, wake up.

''[Lana continues to nudge Luna. Finally, Luna’s eyes snap open, and she bolts upright.]''

Luna: Don’t take me alive~!

''[Lana gasps and recoils. Luna notices her and quickly shakes herself.]''

Luna: Geez. Sorry ‘bout that, brah. I just had a wicked bad nightmare. What’re you doin’ in here?

Lana: [sheepishly] Same boat as you, actually. I had a bad dream, but the last time I tried to go to Leni, she just ended up making me more scared.

Luna: Hmm. Well, I guess I can let you bunk with me if it’ll make you feel better.

Lana: Actually, this one was pretty bad. I don’t think I wanna go back to sleep.

Luna: That bad, huh? [she caresses Lana’s cheek] Anything I can do?

[After a beat, Lana’s expression suddenly brightens.]

Lana: I’ve got just the thing. How about we play some Timp-muddy? That’ll help me take my mind off of that stupid nightmare.

Luna: [arches an eyebrow] You mean right now? Dude, the whole house is asleep. I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Lana: Well, it’s either that, or I spend the rest of the night being scared.

[Beat]

Luna: Yeah, good point.

''[We cut to a few minutes later. Lana has her bucket of mud, while Luna is standing before her timpani. Lana tosses the mud onto the drums, and Luna begins pounding away with her usual flair. Lana giggles and starts rolling around in the mud. It isn’t long before Luan wakes up and sees what the commotion is.]''

Luan: [peeved] Seriously, Luna?! What the heck is wrong with you?!

[The door opens, revealing the other siblings.]

Leni: What’s going on in here?

Lana: O-oh. Hey, Leni. Just… playing some Timp-muddy with Luna.

Luan: [bemused] At one o’clock in the morning.

Luna: We’ll be done quick, honest. Lana just needed something to take her mind off of some nightmare she had.

Leni: [sighs] Guys, please. We’re trying to sleep here.

Luna: So is Lana. What’s your point?

Lincoln: [sternly] The point is you’re keeping the rest of us up.

Lana: Just a few more minutes! [she flashes puppy-dog eyes at Leni] C’mon, Leni! Please~?

[Leni knits her brow and frowns.]

Leni: I don’t know, guys.

Luna: Dude, c’mon. Don’t go all Queen of No on us.

[Leni flinches while Lincoln gives Luna a dirty look.]

Lincoln: Really, Luna?

Luna: What? What’d I say?

Leni: Hmm. What would a lazy fairy do in this situation?

''[Luna and Lana stare blankly at Leni. They envision her as a lazy fairy looking over this very situation. After a beat, the lazy fairy shrugs.]''

Lazy Fairy Leni: Meh, I’ll deal with it tomorrow.

[She leaves the room, and the thought bubble pops.]

Luna: What are you on about, luv?

Leni: Honestly, I’m still trying to figure that out. Anyway, I guess it’s okay for you guys to play your little game. But do it quietly, alright?

Luna: Uh, yeah, sure. Thanks, brah.

''[Leni nods and goes back to bed. Lana gives Luna a worried look.]''

Lana: Is it even possible to play the timpani quietly?

Luna: [sheepishly] Honestly, I don’t know. But Leni said it was okay, so I say we give it a shot.

Lola: Yeah, I’m just gonna go get Lincoln’s Noise-B-Gone earplugs. [she shuffles off]

Lincoln: Hey! I didn’t say you could borrow those! [he chases after her]

Lisa: [sighs] Luna, I strongly advise against this. I know a thing or two about failed experiments, and if your experiment fails, Leni is not going to be happy.

[Luna thinks for a moment.]

Luna: I guess you have a point, Brain Box. But now what’re we supposed to do?

Lana: Yeah! I still can’t sleep!

Lucy: I believe I have a solution to this.

''[She walks over to Luna’s keyboard and picks up a metronome. She turns it on and sets it before Lana.]''

Lynn: Uh, Luce? What’re you—?

Lucy: [mystically] You are getting sleepy, Lana~. Very sleepy~.

[Lana’s eyes follow the metronome.]

Lana: No I’m not.

[Lucy takes out a pocket watch and waves it in front of Lana.]

Lucy: How about now?

[Beat]

Lana: Nope. Still nothing.

Lucy: Sigh. I guess we’re going with Plan B. Lynn, do you happen to know a sleeper hold?

Lynn: Sure do. [she cracks her knuckles] Okay, Lans. This might sting a bit…

[Lana suddenly turns pale.]

Lana: A-actually, go back to the watch. I-I think that was working.

Lucy: [smiles] I thought as much.

''[After waving the watch in front of Lana for a bit, Lana finally falls asleep. The rest of the siblings leave as Luna places Lana up in her bunk. She then gives Luan a sheepish shrug.]''

Luna: Sorry ‘bout that, little sis.

[Luan gives Luna a bemused glare, looks down at the mud-stained carpet, and then back to Luna.]

Luan: Just for the record, I’m not cleaning that up.

***

''[The next day, Lynn, Lana, and Lola are on the couch chatting. Leni walks by and waves hello.]''

Leni: Hey, guys. What’re you all talking about?

Lola: Oh, hey, Leni. We were just discussing how awesome it would be if we got a pony.

[Beat]

Leni: A… pony?

Lana: Yeah! I know we’ve got a lot of pets, but just think how practical a pony would be!

Lola: [eyes sparkling] I could finally enter the Little Miss Dressage pageant!

Lynn: And I can train her! Dressage doesn’t really sound like my thing, but hey, I’ll try any sport once.

Lana: And Fangs will finally have a proper source of food, so he won’t bite Lynn all the time!

Lynn: Another big plus.

Lola: So, can we get one? Please~?

''[The three of them all flash puppy-dog eyes at Leni. Leni begins sweating nervously.]''

Leni: Geez, guys. I, uh, I dunno…

Lola: [shrugs] I guess that’s fine. [she grins evilly] That is, if you wanna be all Queen of No about it.

???: Again with this, sibling? Have you no shame?

''[Lola turns to see the other siblings walk into the room, with Luna carrying Lily. Lincoln and Lisa give Lynn, Lola, and Lana disapproving glares.]''

Lynn: Oh, c’mon! Weak! Why do you guys have to be such narcs?!

Lincoln: Guys, just because Leni’s in charge doesn’t give you the right to manipulate her into letting you get away with everything.

Leni: [blinks] I’m sorry, could you repeat tha—?

Lola: [ignoring Leni] Well, if Leni’s in charge, why are you the one giving orders?!

Lisa: Because someone has to.

Leni: Um, guys?

Luna: Dudes, Linc and Brain Box have a point. This isn’t cool.

Luan: Oh, you’re one to talk, Little Miss I’ll Just Play My Timpani While Everyone Else’s Asleep.

Luna: Hey, don’t pin that on me! I was trying to help Lana!

Lana: And besides, Leni said it was okay!

Lincoln: Yeah, because you and Luna tricked her into saying that!

Luna: Bogus, bro! I wasn’t trying to trick anybody!

Leni: Guys?

Lincoln: [to Lynn, Lana, and Lola] And now you guys are tricking her into buying a pony of all things? She can’t just do that behind Mom and Dad’s backs! Not even Lori can do that!

Lola: Yeah, because Lori’s the Queen of No! Leni clearly wants to be laissez faire!

Lisa: She doesn’t even know what that means. You’re the one who planted that idea into her head.

Lynn: Well, if you’re so smart, why didn’t Mom and Dad leave you in charge, huh?

Lucy: [sarcastically] Oh, sure. Just change the subject. That’ll make you sound like you did nothing wrong.

Lynn: Don’t start with me, Lucy! Don’t you dare start!

Lincoln: Lynn, Lucy’s right. You can’t just—

Lola: There you go again, Lincoln! You’re acting like Leni’s not even here!

Lisa: Pot, kettle. Have you two met?

Leni: Guys, please…

Lynn: Just let Leni do whatever she wants! She’s the one in charge!

Luan: You mean let you guilt trip her into doing whatever you want? Sheesh, no wonder Lincoln has to step in all the time. [she gives Luna a sideways glance]

Luna: Dude, for the last time! I wasn’t trying to do anything!

Lana: Hey, if you’ve got a problem with Luna, you’ve got a problem with me!

Leni: Um, if I could just—

Lincoln: The point is, you guys aren’t being fair to Leni at all.

Lynn: Oh, and you are? I oughta knock you off of that high horse of yours!

Lola: I say go for it! I’m tired of being pushed around by someone who’s not in charge!

Lisa: Again, he wouldn’t have to do that if you—

Lola: And that goes double for you, Little Miss Smarty Pants!

Lucy: [dryly] Oh, so now you’re threatening them? That’s sure to prove you right.

[Beat]

Lynn: [rolls up her sleeves] That’s it! I warned you, Lucy! Rah~!

''[The siblings soon become enveloped in a large Loud Cloud. Leni watches the brawl, a horrified look on her face as she processes everything her siblings have unintentionally revealed. She tenses up and scrunches her eyes shut, trembling all over as the noise of the fight overwhelms her. Finally, she snaps.]''

Leni: EVERYBODY STOP~!

''[The siblings freeze mid-fight and look over at Leni. Leni scowls at them all with misty eyes.]''

Leni: I am not happy with any of you right now. This is the first time I’ve been put in charge, and I asked you guys to go easy on me. But instead of that, half of you keep trying to trick me, and the other half of you are trying to do my job for me. Either way, you’re treating me like a baby who doesn’t know what she’s doing. No offense, Lily.

Lily: [raises her hand and nods solemnly] Poo-poo.

[Leni breathes out a labored sigh as tears roll down her cheeks.]

Leni: I’m not as clueless as you think I am. Like, I keep telling you guys that there’s more to my head than just air, but the second I have some real responsibility around here, you all just seem to forget that. Th-that really hurts.

Lincoln: Oh, Leni. W-we didn’t mean…

[Leni’s face suddenly darkens, causing Lincoln to clam up.]

Leni: Well, y’know what? I’m done being your lazy fairy. If being the Queen of No is the only way to get you guys to take me seriously, then I guess I don’t have a choice.

''[The siblings look at each other with contempt for a moment. Eventually, their expressions change to one of collective guilt.]''

Leni: [points upstairs] Everyone, upstairs. You’re all going to sit quietly in your rooms until I call you down for dinner. That means no music, no jokes, no jumping off the roof, no video games, no spooky stuff, no mud pies, no tea parties, no experiments, and no crying unless there’s a Code Magenta. Is that understood?

[The siblings nod.]

Leni: Good. Then get going.

''[The siblings march upstairs, their heads hanging in shame. Leni watches them go, a pained expression on her face.]''

***

''[We cut to Leni sulking in her room some time later. She’s sitting on her bed, fighting back tears.]''

Leni: Stay strong, Leni. Don’t give in. You’re in charge. This is for their own good.

''[There’s a knock at the door. Leni scowls.]''

Leni: I thought I told you guys to stay in your rooms.

Lincoln: [from the other side of the door] We know, Leni. We just have something to say to you first.

''[Leni thinks for a moment before getting up and answering the door. All of the siblings are gathered around.]''

Leni: This had better be good.

Lisa: [sighs] Leni, on behalf of all of us, I wish to apologize profusely for our behavior. I can only speak for Lincoln and myself, but we weren’t trying to circumvent your authority. We genuinely wished to assist you in this endeavor. But it appears that in doing so, we overstepped our bounds. We have no excuse.

Lola: And we shouldn’t have tried to take advantage of you, either. We were just being selfish brats.

Lincoln: Truth is, none of us realized that you were taking this so seriously. We really underestimated you, and that was wrong of us. We’re sorry.

[Leni sighs and shakes her head.]

Leni: Why wouldn’t I take this seriously? You guys are, like, the most important people in my life. And when Lori goes off to college, I’m gonna be the one taking care of you all while Mom and Dad are away. That means I need to figure this stuff out. I know I’m not exactly the sharpest lightbulb in the crayon box, and all of this is still kinda scary for me. But I don’t want any of that to hold me back from learning what I need to know.

[Beat]

Lincoln: Wow. Leni, I-I had no idea you felt that way.

Lynn: Yeah. We thought you agreed to this just so that we wouldn't have to stay with Aunt Ruth.

Leni: Well, I didn't.

[Beat]

Lincoln: I guess we’ll just go back to our rooms. Again, we’re really sorry, Leni.

''[The siblings turn to leave while Leni thinks for a moment. After a beat, she reaches out to them.]''

Leni: Guys, wait.

[Everyone turns to Leni.]

Leni: [sighs] Listen, being the Queen of No might work for Lori, but, like, I’m not Lori. It doesn’t feel right for me. At the same time, though, being a lazy fairy hasn’t been working, either. I can’t do this if half of you don’t respect me and the other half of you don’t trust me.

Luna: So, what’re you sayin’, brah?

Leni: I want you guys to promise me some things. When I’m in charge, tricking me is not allowed. If I need help, I’ll ask for it. And when I do something wrong, tell me so I can fix it. Don’t just fix it for me. Does that sound fair?

''[The siblings look at each other for a moment. They nod and smile.]''

Lola: I can live with that.

Lincoln: Same here.

Lisa: That is perfectly reasonable.

Luna: Reading you loud and clear, dude.

Lynn: You got it.

Lana: Sure thing.

Lucy: Makes sense to me.

Lily: Poo-poo.

Luan: Whatever you say, Ms. Lazy Fairy. [beat] Still don’t know what that is.

Lisa: She means laissez faire. Which, if we’re being honest, is no way to run a household like ours.

Luna: Preachin’ to the choir there, brah.

[Leni smiles back.]

Leni: Then I accept your apology. I can’t stay mad at you guys, anyway. C’mon, bring it in.

''[The Loud siblings comply, enveloping Leni in a large group hug. After a beat, Leni releases them.]''

Leni: So. Who wants pizza for dinner?

[The siblings stare at Leni.]

Lola: A-are you sure we can do that, Leni?

Leni: Totes. I’m the one in charge, so I say we can have pizza tonight. And hey, how about we watch some Dream Boat, too?

[The siblings cheer and hug Leni again.]

***

''[We cut to that night, where the siblings are all gathered in the living room eating pizza and watching Dream Boat. Leni smiles at the audience.]''

Leni: Well, I might still have a lot to learn about being in charge, but I did figure one thing out. I don’t think I wanna be the Queen of No or a lazy fairy. I’m thinking of aiming for something in-between. Not sure what to call it, but it just feel right.

''[Suddenly, her phone vibrates. Curious, she checks her phone.]''

Lynn: What is it, Leni?

Leni: Lori says she should be home with Mom and Dad sometime tomorrow. She’s also asking if everything’s okay.

''[Leni looks around at the leaving room. It’s shaping up to be quite a pigsty, with pizza boxes strewn all over the place.]''

Leni: [sighs] Okay, guys. After dinner, we need to clean this up.

Everyone Else: Aww~.

Leni: [smiles] But after we’re done, I’ll let you all have ice cream for dessert.

Everyone Else: Yay~!

''[Leni smirks and texts Lori back. We cut over to Lori riding in Vanzilla with her parents as she gets Leni’s text.]''

Lori: [reading the text] Everything is, like, totes… [she squints] copy septic? I… literally don’t know what she’s trying to say there. But she does say that there haven’t been any Code Magentas, so that’s a good sign. Oh, she sent a photo, too.

''[Lori opens up the photo on her phone. It shows her siblings having their little pizza party. She smirks.]''

Lynn Sr.: Please tell me the house is still standing.

Lori: Don’t worry, it is. ''[she gets another text from Leni. After reading it for a beat, she raises an eyebrow]'' Okay, that’s weird.

Rita: What is it, sweetie?

Lori: [reading Leni’s text] BTW, I’m not the Queen of No. I hope that’s okay, Lori. Hey, at least I’m not a lazy fairy, amiright?

[Lynn Sr. and Rita look at each other oddly.]

Lynn Sr.: I have no idea what she’s talking about.

Rita: Me neither.

[Lori shrugs replies to the text.]

Lori: [reading aloud as she types] It’s okay to say no sometimes, Leni. And definitely don’t be a lazy fairy, whatever that is.

''[After a beat, she gets Leni’s reply. She sighs.]''

Lynn Sr.: What now, honey?

Lori: [reading Leni’s text] Really wish you told me that sooner. At least I know for next time.

Rita: Should… we be concerned?

''[Lori gets another photo from Leni. She checks it and sees her siblings eating ice cream. She lets out a small chuckle.]''

Lori: I think she’s fine. Oh, and on an unrelated note, we might wanna get some more ice cream on the way back.

Lynn Sr.: What’re you talking about, honey? We have plenty of ice cream in the freezer.

Lori: [showing Lynn Sr. the picture] Not anymore, we don’t.

[Lynn Sr. groans and facepalms.]

Lynn Sr.: Dang it, Leni Loud.

The End

Trivia

 * When Luna wakes up from her nightmare, she references the song Don't Take Me Alive by Steely Dan.
 * I considered having Leni dress up in Lori's military fatigues when she tells her siblings off, but I couldn't quite make the scene fit.