User blog:TheMaximumMatt/Shortfiction - Who Lives in a Pineapple

Ladies and gentlemen, I am introducing a new series of fanfictions called Shortfictions. You can go to my profile for more information on it. With that said, please enjoy this series premiere. Do take it as a joke though.

 Who Lives in a Pineapple 

 [We begin with Lola entering the kitchen grumpily]

 Lola: (groans) I can’t believe Mom is forcing me to wash the dishes as a form of punishment. It’s Lana’s fault for starting it! (Groans some more) I guess I might as get started on washing the dishes. How hard could it be?

 [Sees a giant pile of dishes next to the sink. Lola gags at the sight of it.]

 Lola: What?! I have to do ALL that?! I’ll never get it done! (Sighs) Well, at least it’s better than being grounded for a week or something…

 [Reluctantly, she gets up on the stepstool in front of the sink and begins preparation]

 Lola: Eww! I cannot work in my lovely gloves! [Throws off her usual pink gloves and puts on the bigger, yellow rubber gloves, which look to be too bad for her] I also gotta use this! [She puts on gas mask] I do not want any of that gunk to go on my face! And one more thing! [She puts on apron to protect her dress] Ew… let’s do this!

 [Lola is about to grab the sponge, but the sponge has disappeared from the sink]

 Lola: [Takes off gas mask] What the?!

 [Looks around the sink and dishes to find sponge.]

 Lola: Where’d the sponge go?!

 ???: I’m right here, silly!

 [Lola jumps at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. She turns around to see what it is and there standing on the floor behind her… was a talking, anthropomorphic sponge with brown, square-shaped pants, big, blue eyes, and a large pair of buck teeth smiling right at her. Lola screams at this horrific sight]

 Lola: AAAAAAAHHHH! What are you?! How did you get here?! Who are you?! What are-!

 ???: Stop your worrying, silly! I’m Spongebob. Spongebob Squarepants. I’m here to teach you how to have fun while washing the dishes.

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: (Still scared, she starts panting quickly) No! This cannot be real! This cannot be real! I must be dreaming! Yeah… that’s it! This is all a silly little dream! This is just some nightmare I will wake up from right now!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Spongebob: Don’t be silly. You’re not dreaming, Lola.

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: AHHH! What you mean I’m not dreaming?! How do know my name?!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Spongebob: Duh, I know everybody’s name, silly. I’ve heard a lot about you, pageant queen.

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: (pants even more) NO! Get away from me, you mutated freak! (takes out spatula) I have a spatula and I’m not afraid to use it!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Spongebob: Hey! You have a spatula too? I use those to make krabby patties the best sandwiches ever!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: I don’t care about crabs or burgers or something! Get away from me!

<p style="margin:0px;"> [Lola swings spatula at Spongebob, slicing him in half. Lola is at first relieved, but then the sponge halves start to stick back together and Spongebob is back to normal]

<p style="margin:0px;"> Spongebob: Silly Lola! You can’t kill me! I’m [in deep voice] IMMORTAL!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: AHHH! Someone help me! There’s a crazy talking sponge here and I think he wants to hurt me!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Spongebob: You’re cute when you’re scared! (Laughs in his usual, annoying fashion)

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: STOP! You’re laugh hurts my ears!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Spongebob: (Laughs even louder)

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: AHHHH!!!

<p style="margin:0px;"> [Lola throws dishes at the talking sponge. She misses with every throw and the dishes break when they hit the floor]

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: WHY WON’T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Rita: LOLA LOUD!

<p style="margin:0px;"> [The scene leaves from Lola’s perspective. The kitchen has no become a wreck. All of the dishes are broken, the sink has overflown, and kitchen utensils are everywhere on the floor. The sponge is seen on the floor, only it’s inanimate]

<p style="margin:0px;"> Rita: What the heck did you here?!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: Mom! Thank goodness you’re here! There’s a talking sponge standing right over there and he’s freaking me out!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Rita: A talking WHAT now?!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: Now it’s real! Right there! Don’t you see it?! [The sponge is still inanimate from Rita’s point of view, revealing that the talking sponge might just have been a hallucination]

<p style="margin:0px;"> Rita: (angrily)… Lola. I’ve had it with you. Go to your room. You’re grounding for a whole month!

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lola: NONONONO! I swear, there was a sponge here and…

<p style="margin:0px;"> Rita: Sheesh... I guess even washing dishes is too much for Lola...

<p style="margin:0px;"> ​[Lola runs across couch where Lana is hold an ice pack. Lola is laughing hysterically as she runs in her room.]

<p style="margin:0px;"> ​Lana: (Laughs) A talking sponge? Really? Lola must be going crazy or something... man, is she annoying sometimes.

<p style="margin:0px;"> [A small, pink sea star lurks from behind the couch]

<p style="margin:0px;"> Patrick: Did somebody say something about being annoying? (Laughs)

<p style="margin:0px;"> Lana: AHHH! Mom! [Runs to Rita]

<p style="margin:0px;">

​Trivia

 * This shortfiction actually originated from when I heard that LolaXSpongebob was actually a thing in the Loud House fandom... I'm not against anyone who is for this, I just find it random IMO. I'm just poking fun at it, that's all.
 * Yes, LolaXSpongebob is actually a thing... google it.
 * I am in no way against crossover shippings or anyone who does these. Again, this is meant to be taken as a joke and not something serious. Also, don't use this as a opportunity to attack anyone.