User blog:InklingBear/Life of Pets - The Feast of These

Story #17 - The Feast of These
 12:00pm

The four pets were sitting on the couch feeling somewhat cranky. Their stomachs were rumbling as if they were like a volcano planning to erupt soon. Charles was the one most upset. He was hungrier than the rest of the pets put together. He was waiting hours for some nourishment. Unfortunately, he had no choice but to wait a little longer than he expected.

"Doesn't this bite," Charles growled. "First the humans had the nerve to deny us somethin' ta eat for today, and now they're out 'n about!"

"I am so ticked off." Walt bluntly stated.

"Of course, everyone can see that." Geo responded. "And don't worry, dog. There's always some treats in the pantry we can always get into."

Charles decided to brush those words off. "Bah, I'm tired a those treats. I feel like I could go fer somethin' a little different fer once."

Cliff turned to Charles before he patted the white docile dog on the back. "I'm with ya on that, dog." he winked.

Walt and Geo nodded soon after. Eventually, one of the pets would be in the mood to watch some television to pass some time until the family returned. "Would one of you guys switch the television on?" Geo asked. "Hopefully some entertainment will take our mind off this hunger of ours for a while."

Cliff sighed. "Alright," he uttered. The cat whipped out a remote control and switched the power on to the television. It broadcasted a never before seen advertisement as it displayed an huge array of junk food.

"And with that, there's this and much more down at the Junk Trunk." The man said over the sweet pop tune playing in the background. "Get it while it lasts for a limited time."

The food had the dog inevitably salivating. It was very tempting to them as it would influence him to satisfy his needs. Charles frantically wagged his little tail. He heavily panted on the sight of the goodness immediately after, making contact with his puppy irises. Cliff, Walt and Geo were being tempted like this was an offer they couldn't refuse. They tried their best to not let their hunger get the better of their behavior.

However, the hamster of the group was quick to throw out another command for the cat to follow, but not before letting out a small sigh. "Switch the channel, cat!" The hamster said. Cliff was quick on his tail to do so in a snap. The television switched to another commercial, this time, displaying cheese.

The picture of cheddar only managed to get Cliff to snap out of it the second he saw the piece of food on the screen. He was utterly in disgust, to the point where he gagged. "Oh, that's disgustin'!" The cat spat. "Who in the everlovin' heck would devour that... stuff?"

Cliff faced the reader soon after. "Seriously, try sniffin' that crud fer a good second 'n you'll see exactly what I'm talkin' about."

The brown hamster and the yellow bird were slowly losing it as they still looked on at the advertisements for food. They were trying hard, but it was becoming a losing battle towards the two pets. The cat returned his attention to the television before he switched it to another channel. This time, it was another advertisement for steak. Geo and Walt salivated a little bit more now. The satisfaction of the well cooked meat had the two melting.

Charles on the other hand, was ecstatic. "Meeeeat!" he happily said. His irises turned into red hearts as the dog licked his lips several times. "Hoo boy! Come ta papa!"

A second later, he got up from the family couch and immediately zipped towards the television. He hopped up on the screen, happily licking the screen as if he was in his own little world. Walt and Geo's severe temptation were on the verge of getting them to do the same thing the dog was doing.

"Oh that's it!" Walt uttered. "I need something to eat!" The bird zipped over to the television screen followed by Geo close behind. It was clearly inevitable that their hunger would get the better of them. Cliff joined the three animals soon after.

"Wait fer me!" he uttered before he ran to the television. He jumped up to the screen, hitting his face upon impact before he fell back on the floor. His force was just enough to get the television to start rocking back and forth before it inevitably fell forward, hitting the carpet below upon impact.

*CRASH*

The four pets were surprised, influencing a small jump from everyone as if the loud sound of the television making contact with the floor caught them all off their guard. It was clearly enough to snap them all out of their worlds.

"Whoa!" Geo said. "What has gotten into us?"

Charles caressed his head. "This is what delicacies do ta us sometimes..." he said. "I'm so hungry that I could tear through all this furniture if I wanted ta."

"Ohhh... I can't take this cruel torture any longer." Walt desperately said.

Cliff threw his paw to the floor. "That's it," the cat said. "It's time we do somethin' about this!"

"Yeah!" Charles and Geo simultaneously said.

"Obviously." Walt added.

Cliff walked in a line back and forth as if this was the military. "We've been waitin' all mornin' like good pets for our family to get us somethin' ta eat. Somethin' we've been lookin' forward to every single day of the week. But did we get it?"

Charles, Geo and Walt angrily answered the cat. "No!"

"Right! I'm hungry, gosh dang it! And we're not gonna wait ta be fed like this!" Cliff bluntly shouted as the three pets cheered with glee. It lasted for a few seconds before the feline walked towards the kitchen with a determined attitude. "C'mon ya guys, let's get our hunger under control!"

Charles, Geo and Walt followed the cat without hesitance.

The four animals set foot into the kitchen now, all wondering what they would have a taste for at an hour like this. Charles had himself thinking as he sat in front of the fridge, scratching his head.

"Alright everyone," Cliff said, sitting in front of the fridge. "Whatcha want ta eat?"

"As long as it's not that generic pet food we eat all the time, I'm down." Charles answered the cat.

"Same here." Geo and Walt added.

"Alrighty then," Cliff continued. "Let's start with the fridge!"

The cat turned to the kitchen appliance behind him. He grabbed a hold of the handles and opened both the doors. The animals got an amazing eye full of food they had the access to. From citrus fruits, frozen meats and two day leftovers, it was like heaven to them.

Hearts floated all around the four pets as they gazed upon the food. They all oohed as they had absolutely no idea where to start.

"Jackpot." Cliff smirked.

"Oh my." Geo uttered.

"Delicious." Charles happily said.

"Wow." Walt uttered.

Cliff rubbed his paws together as sinisterly as possible. "Alright pals, take your pick." the feline said. "It's time ta chow down!"

Charles was quick on his tail to interrupt the cat. He had a potential idea on his mind that he was thinking about executing. "Wait a second there cat." he said. "Instead of eatin' all these leftover food we still got, how about we try our paws at cookin' somethin?"

The canine turned to the bird and the hamster now. "Eh? What do ya say?"

Walt wasn't completely sure about the dog's idea. "I don't know about that." he answered with concern.

"Heck why not?" Geo neutrally answered. "Maybe it could be a nice little experience for the four of us."

Cliff pulled the father's leftover casserole out of the fridge. "Beats havin' ta eat this junk." he said in disgust. He soon opened the kitchen window and threw the man's casserole out with a good amount of force. The cat turned back to Charles. "Alright then, dog. What are we gonna cook?"

"Make it quick too," Walt added. "We don't have all day."

The dog went to the fridge, digging around for something to whip up. First, he came across a pound of frozen steak. He soon grabbed a hold of it and presented the item to the three pets.

"How 'bout some steak?" Charles suggested.

Cliff, Walt and Geo thought about it for a moment. Their decisions on having steak was a bit mixed for the dog to tell. Cliff simply shrugged as if he wasn't sure about having steak to munch on. Knowing Charles, he'll be all over it before the kids could even get to it.

Charles put the steak back in the fridge. "We'll save that fer later I suppose." he said. He looked back in the fridge before he whipped out some frozen turkey. He sincerely suggested with "What about some bird?"

To no surprise from any of the animals, Walt felt offended. "Excuse you?!"

Charles' eyes widened at the sight of the angry bird, causing him to drop the turkey. He sincerely apologized to him as if a lengthy bond was on the line. "Sorry, bird." he said, sheepishly smiling.

"You better be." Walt bluntly replied as the dog dug for more food for the pets.

Geo was concerned for Walt. "Gosh, why do you have to be so angry all the time?"

Walt crossed his wings. "I'd rather not engage in this conversation."

Charles got his paws on a dozen frozen patties that were extremely close to their expiration date. The dog had a good feeling that this next offer he was about to make would not be refused to the three pets. The third time was going to be a charm in the mind of a white docile dog.

"Alright ya guys," Charles said before showing off the item he had his paws on. "How about some patties?"

That offer had Cliff, Geo and Walt thinking for a good few seconds. They thought it would be nice to chow on some hamburgers as if they've never even had one before in their lives. Curiosity would overcome them sooner or later along with their growling guts to get the trio to make the decision.

"Sure?" Walt said.

"Looks promising." Geo added with a subtle little smile.

"I was more in the mood fer chicken breasts, but sure why not!" Cliff concluded.

That sentence from the feline provoked a small reaction from everyone. It even got Charles to wag his tail at some point. Cliff was unsure why the dog, the hamster and the bird smirked towards him.

"What?" Cliff said. "They're really good, y'all oughta try 'em sometime."

"We definitely will, cat." Charles said with a wink and a smile. "Anyway, we don't have a grill do we?"

The four pets are outside now Charles and Cliff were wearing bland, white aprons. The grill was loaded and ready to go as the charcoal inside was up in flames. Cliff launched a third of the frozen patties onto the grill as if he was dealing some playing cards. They were sizzling now as the heat quickly defrost them.

"And we have liftoff!" Cliff said.

"Yeah baby!" Charles added.

Walt was still concerned about the dog's plan. What if something goes wrong for them? Or even worse, what if they were caught?

"Are you sure we can pull this off?" Walt curiously asked.

"Anythin's possible cat." Charles answered. "If ya put yer mind to it."

"Dog's right." Geo agreed. "It's all about the potential we have. If you think you can, then yes you can."

The patties were definitely sizzling now. Charles emerged up to the grill as he took a good whiff of the patties being grilled to perfection. In the canine's mind, it was like an amazing masterpiece that has willingly entered the animal's nostrils after a long while.

"Ahh, smell that boys?" the dog said, influencing Cliff, Walt and Geo to do the same thing. They all inhaled the moment for a second before it had the animals melting.

"Mmm... It smells wonderful, dog." Cliff answered.

"It's something to remember for a while." Geo added.

"Nice." Walt added.

"Smells like they should be ready any minute now!" Charles said before licking his lips.

"I can already taste the meaty goodness!" Cliff added.

Just before the patty meat was well done, a bird dropping unfortunately came in contact with all four of the patties. They were all ruined, just like that. None of the pets saw this coming in the slightest. They jumped back upon catching sight of the tainted meat laying right on the grill.

The pets were all aghast, yet revolted at the same time. Cliff was at the point of gagging once again like he did earlier with the sight of cheese.

"Aw c'mon!" Charles angrily spat.

Walt looked up to the bird responsible in the sky. He was to the point of seething rage. "Seriously? Of all the dang places where you could do your business, it had to be on our food?!" He returned back to the pets. "The utter nerve of some of my kind!"

Fret filled the hamster as his stomach rumbled. "What are we gonna do now? We can't eat this!"

Cliff comforted Geo. "Don'tcha fret there Ham." he calmly said. "We still got eight more ta grill!"

"But first, we gotta clean off this grill here." Charles suggested. "Cause that bird sure left quite a mess."

"Bleh!" Walt and Geo simultaneously said.

 Five Minutes Later

It was time for the pets to try again. They were hoping that an incident like that would never happen again. Who knows? Life is indeed an unpredictable matter after all. This time, the animals were on the lookout. Cliff guarded the patties as the dog, the bird and the hamster watched their surroundings from their unique perspective views.

So far, everything went according to plan. The patties were halfway finished with the cooking.

"Nothin' suspicious goin' on so far, cat!" Charles said.

"All clear on my end!" Geo said.

"Same here." Walt added.

Cliff prepared himself to flip the patties over to cook the other side now. Their stomachs were growling like crazy. They really couldn't wait another second for the patties on the grill to finish. Fortunately for them, if nothing went wrong in approximately the next ten minutes or so, they could finally chow down on some of that grub.

The satisfied feline spent a second sniffing the aroma of the sizzling meat. "Delish!" he uttered as he flipped the patties over. "I'll just flip ya guys over fer a few minutes."

As the three pets continued their lookout for any potential incidents to stop, a feisty little squirrel was up for some old fashioned fun. It approached from behind an unsuspecting Charles and hopped on his back. In a surprising twist of events, the animal kicked the canine in the neck like a spur impaling a majestic stallion in the old west.

The sudden pain omitted a reaction from Charles as he howled and wailed his paws in circles before he ran off without a hitch. Walt and Geo quickly took notice due to their sudden disturbance. The poor canine was being treated like a riding horse now. The squirrel pulled on his ears as it would guide the barking canine to turn left and right.

The bird and the hamster didn't know what to do. They can only watch in horror as to where this would all lead up to. "Oh no!" Geo exclaimed.

"C'mon, dog!" Walt yelled out. "Fight back! You can do it!"

Charles did not take long to take Walt's suggestion into consideration. He did all that he can to shake the immature animal off his back. But he underestimated the mangy little squirrel. It was putting up such a good fight. He growled louder and louder the more he tried to shake the savage animal off of him as he spun around. To no avail, he was too good for him. It's almost like the animal was a well trained cowboy.

The dog unfortunately went head first into a tree with a normal impact. Walt and Geo cringed. They felt bad for the canine that had to deal with an animal that persistent. That spinning Charles did really led up to this mishap. His irises spiraled out, making him appear dizzy. The squirrel continued yanking on his ears as it would provoke the dog to wail his paws and howl as if he was a horse before he could barely run in a straight line.

Charles headed straight for the grill. The bird and the hamster gasped upon noticing the dog running straight towards them. They had to act fast. There was definitely no time to waste.

"Cat!" Geo exclaimed, catching Cliff's attention for a brief moment. "Watch out!"

The cat's eyes widened. He didn't have much time to put a stop to the squirrel's joyride on the dog. He put a angry, but determined expression on his face as if he wanted to act heroic. He jumped out in front of the grill a couple of feet in hopes to prevent the two animals from knocking it over.

He widened his paws out to his side like a willing sacrifice for another citizen. "Bird, Ham! Guard the-"

The cat was unfortunately cut off by Charles slamming right into him as they rolled towards the grill. Their sudden impact unfortunately managed to tip the grill right to its side. The patties hit the grass below before it was covered with charcoal on top.

There goes another third of patties, sadly gone to waste.

Charles and Cliff were dizzy after they stopped rolling around. A second or two passed by before they shook their heads. The relentless squirrel popped up from between the two animals, laughing before blowing a raspberry at the dog. It unfortunately zipped away before an irate Charles could grab the animal.

He growled. He was furious. "Confound it, squirrel!" He uttered as he made a fist. Cliff felt that he was kind enough to pet him to try to calm the canine down.

"I can't believe that just happened!" Geo said.

"Just great!" Walt exclaimed. "Another batch of perfectly good meat, gone down the drain."

"That means we're down ta our last four!" Cliff fretted.

"And if anythin' happens ta those last four patties, I'll have that darn squirrel fer lunch!" Charles angrily stated.

The pets' stomachs were growling even more. It felt like absolute torture to them at this point. With two thirds of their patties down the drain, they were unsure if they were going to get their hunger problem conquered for the day. Could it be that they had some bad luck? Maybe it could have been their bad timing?

Whatever the case may be, they couldn't stop there. They still had one more batch of patties left to try and grill. All they had to do was hope that nothing could go wrong for the third time. Who knows? Maybe their luck could become a game changer for the four animals involved.

 Another Five Minutes Later

The grill was up and running again. Cliff flipped over the last patty on the grill. They were steaming hot to the point that it was just about ready. All that's left now was another few minutes of mishap-free incidents and the pets would feel like they finally reached the finish line.

The dark clouds in the sky came rolling in without the pets noticing. It looked like it was on the verge of pouring down all that moisture. It was at that moment that the pets do have something to worry about. Knowing the pets sometimes, they still have yet to pay their undivided attention to the problems around them.

Charles smiled at the well cooked patties. "Alrighty boys," the dog said with determination. "One more minute ta meat town!"

"Purrfect!" Cliff reacted.

"Hooray!" Geo reacted.

"It's about time." Walt bluntly stated before he looked up at the sky. The dark clouds were rolling in like there was no such thing as a tomorrow. The bird gasped. What if it was about to pour down rain? He had to hurry his tailfeathers to notify the other pets.

"Guys!" he said, grabbing their attention before they realized the sky wasn't clear. "It's about to rain!"

Cliff gasped before he facepalmed. "Oh, ya gotta be kiddin' me!" he reacted.

"What do we do, you guys?" Geo asked with concern. Charles was quick with idea he had in store. He zipped inside before he returned with an umbrella.

"Not ta worry, pals," Charles said. "This oughta do the trick."

"Uh... who's umbrella is that?" Walt asked.

"No time, bird!" Charles interrupted. He attached the umbrella to the grill as it would sit bolt upright. With that, Charles' little plan was in the works. Cliff, Geo and Walt weren't a hundred percent sure if this was going to work. As long as it would get them something to eat, they wouldn't complain about a single thing.

"You sure this'll work?" Cliff asked.

Charles' stomach growled once again. He was real determined. Hungry, but determined enough that his plan would not soon fall apart in front of his canine eyes. "It's worth a shot, cat." he answered. A second later, a drip came in contact with the dog's nose.

It was about to begin.

Rain inevitably came pouring down all over the neighborhood. Ten seconds in surprisingly, nothing went wrong so far. The umbrella protected their last batch of patties from coming contact with the rain. Charles had a feeling that his plan was working.

It was.

The three pets smiled along at the dog. They were convinced that his plan was indeed a good one. They felt the urge to applaud the canine, to which they did.

Charles was happy for the reception the others gave him and stood on his hind legs to bow. "Thank y'all so much!" he said. "Told y'all this would be worth the-"

When the pets least expected it, the dog was interrupted by a loud thunderbolt coming from behind. It hit the umbrella, causing the grill to get shocked along with it. The pets were in danger. They had to bolt as quickly as they could before it inevitably blew up into smithereens.

*KABOOM*

And just like that, their luck never changed for the better. That was it. Their last batch of patties gone, never to be seen again. The pets were sad now. They had no other choice left but to throw in the towel at this point. They all looked down at their stomachs as they rumbled yet again.

"Rats!" Charles uttered.

The pets reentered the kitchen through the doggy door, their fur being wet all over. They were all understandably upset with everything that had happened.

"Welp, that's it ya guys." Cliff said. "Looks like we're all gonna starve."

"Well isn't that wonderful?" Walt snarked.

"I can't take this much longer!" Geo worried.

"Same here, Ham." Charles replied. "Same here."

Stomachs rumbled once again. It all went downhill from there. The pets' hunger was so bad that it would soon reach to the point where they started to hallucinate. Each and every second, everything they saw with their own point of views was food the animals could sink their teeth into. They started salivating.

"Mmm..." Charles uttered as he stared at the table legs. He thought that they looked like a couple strips of bacon. "Come ta papa!"

The dog zipped over to the table before he sank his teeth into the table legs. Cliff stared at the table sheets as if they were salmon. He licked his lips before he approached it as quick as lightning.

The cat began nibbling on one side of the sheet as he wagged his tail much like a hyperactive puppy. The taste of it was wonderful to him in his own state of mind. Walt and Geo would soon inevitably get in on the madness as well. The bird flew over to one of Charles' ears and nibbled on it with good force.

Geo rolled over to Cliff's long tail and grabbed a hold of the tip. He quickly bit down on it without a care in the world. In his mind, Cliff tail had the taste of a slightly under cooked hot dog. He assumed it was very delicious. Their food hallucination lasted on for at least a full minute before a voice reached out to all of them. They all stopped to pay their attention to somebody at the kitchen doorway.

It was the mother of the house. Rita Loud. She was holding a couple bags filled with food. "What are you pets doing?! Unhand that table right this instant!"

Charles obeyed the woman as he stepped back. He whined as if he wanted to apologize for what had happened. Cliff did the exact same a second after.

"Now I've came back to get you guys something to eat," she said, much to the pets' sudden dumbfounded expression. "Since the kids told me that they all forgot to feed you. Plus, I have to run back to the store because I forgot to pick up some pet food. Don't ask how."

Rita took out a couple to go boxes from the bags she brought home. She simply placed them down in front of the pets before she left them be. "Enjoy."

Charles approached the boxes before he decided to sniff at them. A second later, he opened up the boxes. The pets were surprised with what was inside.

Grilled salmon and well done steak.

The pets were happy. Finally they got something to satisfy their needs once and for all.

"Happy days!" Cliff said.

"Finally, something to eat!" Walt said.

"Thank goodness, that lady's such a lifesaver!" Geo happily said.

Charles frantically wagged his tail and licked his lips one last time. "Well what are we waitin' for, pals?" he said. "Chow down!"

They all dug in the steak and the salmon like no tomorrow. Finally, their hunger problem was solved. The pets had absolutely nothing to worry about now, except for one little thing.

Rita came back into the kitchen to ask the pets a question. "Have any of you pets seen my umbrella?"

The pets looked at the woman dead in her eyes as theirs widened up, before they looked to the reader, slowly gulping down their food.

~End~

Trivia

 * The title of the story is a pun on the 2008 indie thriller film The Least of These.