Thread:Harvey Beaks Number 1 Fan/@comment-30953185-20180324180927/@comment-30953185-20180401012534

Well, for one you still didn't put the word fanon before Lincoln in this line: Lincoln: You are the nicer one... Uh... Canon Leni. In fact, my nicer sisters are Leni, Luna, Lucy, Lana, and Lily. And the meaner ones are Luan, Lisa, and... Lori, Lynn, and Lola. The three most evil ones of all.

Fanon Lincoln: They only exist where not one of us is in trouble, and needs some sort of punishment.

Get rid of the "not".

Rita: What?! I’m gonna have To talk to them about this.

Uncapitalize the "to"

Rita: Let’s go and finding them.

It's find, not finding.

Leni: I know! Let’s hang out with our alternative selves so we can’t get to know each other.

Can, not Can't.

Rita: But... But... (Sighs) Dng it!

You forgot the "a".

Fanon Lynn Sr.: Sorry, But Same goes for me. I’m just here to discipline the kids, An day even if my job was revealed, I think not.

Uncapitalize the "s" in sorry, and I think you should change "An Day" to "And".

Lincoln: What’s about the time you two Worked as interns at Flip’s Food & Fuel?

"What", not "What's".

Lincoln: I’m sure there was a time when you both tries to figure out who my parents were.)

"Tried", not "Tries".

Fanon Lincoln: Usually I would head to his house, or my girlfriend Ronnie Anne’s house whenever I run away from home and my sisters, because I feel they hate Mel. And I normally try to hide myself from the moment Incase they come looking for me because I’m just so mad at them for what they do to me.

OK, first off, who is Mel? Secondly, in and case are two seperate words.

Lincoln: This is crazy! Just... it’s does NOT sound like me at all! I can handle the teasing very well as I have quite the thick skin.

"It" not "It's".

Fanon Lincoln: Okay, how do you have angle them! They are the WORST! You hear me?!

How do you have angle them? What does that mean?

Lori: Okay, I have threatened Lincoln before, but... I got character development! A lot of it!

OK, it's "I've" not "I" and I think it would be better if Lori said, "I've learned from my mistakes".

Lori: Runs always?! Now that isliterally the dumbest idea I ever heard. I’d call the police to find him if he was gone long enough!

I think the term is "Runs away" also, is and literally are two different words. Also, maybe you should say "too long" instead of "long enough".

Lori: Well, I was upset. But we came up with a plan for the future.my. We go to the same college in the big city.

You should get rid of the my and also it's "We'll go to the same college in the big city" Not "we".

(Scene cuts too the two Lenis Nextel To eachother, non they are reading a fashion magezinej

Nextel? Non? Magezinej? Also you forgot a closed parentheses.

Fanon Leni: Maybe not in your universe, but we are kinda split between us nicer sisters and meaner sister.

Get rid of the "us".

Leni: I retesting. Okay, I’ll BRB. I gotta use the bathroom. (Starts walking towards the door way, burn runs into a wall) Ah!

"Interesting" not "I resting".

Fanon Luna: Eh, kinda. But Lincoln get’s too much trouble being with 5 of our mean sisters, and I got to guard him. Hold on. (Brings out photos) These are pictures of me when Lincoln was still in Mom’s tummy, and they asked me to be his guardian. Luna: Guardian? Okay, I will admit the pictures are kinda cute. But guardian?!

Put a space between Luna and Fanon Luna's dialogue.

Luan: And my pranks turn out pretty harmless. Like the bucket of water prank I have pulled becore. Or tricking them by asking them what 3.14159 is, and throwing pie at them.

"Before" not "Becore".

Luan: You mean on April Fools Day? Yeah, with that being the one day about planking, I really let out a whole bunch.

"Pranking" not "Planking"

Luan: What?! Okay, first of all, the only time my pranks are harmful is April Fools Da. And I just want to use that day to prank to it’s ull potential. And second, you’re breaking my unspoken rule! Don’t upload embarrassingly videos of your siblings without their permission!

Day is missing its "y".

Lynn: Whaat to you mean you don’t care?

What is not spelled with two "A"s and it's "do" not "to".

Lynn: but you don’t care about when you end up hurting your siblings, and Lincoln! I mean, when I end up hurting my siblings when I get too rough, which I don’t do too much, I don’t do it intentionally. Not to say yours is tentional, but I just like playing. Especially with them. And I play in many differently sports teams, such as football, lacrosse, ice hockey, baseball, roller derby, and I’ve attempted to win the basketball champion. Also, I do happen to have at least Apologized for going too far, and relieving character development.

OK, the first sentence should have a capitalized letter, and a question mark at the end. It's "intentional" not "tentional". You should also change "Champion" to "Championship".

Lucy: Gasp. But Lincoln loves all of us, and he can handle all the teasing he gets. He has thick skin, you know.

He has a thick skin.

Lucy: Sigh. What I still can’t believe is that you told them about that I clogged the toilet. Lincoln took the blame for a reason, An day it’s so I wouldn’t have to handle all of the teasing. He can be able to handle it, it I justness can’t.

You should get rid of "about", change "An day" to "and", get rid of "be able to" and change "Justness" to "just"

Lola: WHAT?! Okay, I do agree it does drive me crazy when Lana let’s them, but isn’t that going too far?

I think it make more sense if Lola said "lets them loose".

Lana: Hey, I’m sureness Lola still loves you and cares about you. She just... doesn’t really show it.

"Sure" not "sureness"

(Brings out Lola’s lucky. princess want)

Get rid of the period and it's "wand" not "want"

Fanon Lana: Lola’s princess want? What in the heck?

Again "wand" not "want"

Twins: (At the same time) Because you both didn’t want to Ben a Bluebell Scout Without eachother. Remember that?

Who's Ben?

Lisa: Lay eggs? That’s is impossible! Even i can’t do that.

No need for the aposthrophe and the "S" in that's.

Lisa: But... mammals can’t lay eggs! Oh, never mind. So, how are the rest of the ssiblings?

Siblings begins with 1 "s" not 2.

Fanon Lisa: The truth sim, I view knowledge over family. I would rather just work on my experiments, and math equations. And I don’t even have friends, and I prefer to refer to them as my test subjects.

"Is" not "Sim"

Fanon Lisa: Who I saw this Darcy? Is she a student in college?

"Who is" not "Who I saw"