User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: Forgive or Forget

I may not be the biggest fan of Lola Loud, but I honestly think she gets a lot of flack she doesn't deserve. And yes, I say that knowing full well that we have her entire criminal record right here on the wiki. However, to me, saying that Lola can only be mean is just like saying Luna can only be nice: it's a gross overgeneralization. And that's what this fan episode focuses on. So, without further ado, here is:

Forgive or Forget
Plot Summary: When Lola discovers that her best friend Roxanne is mad at her for reasons unknown, she'll do whatever it takes to make amends.

Script
''[We open at the Royal Woods Pageant Hall. Lola is walking the halls, smiling and waving to several other contestants. A few of them give her dirty looks as she passes by. Lola doesn’t seem the least bit perturbed by this as she turns to the audience.]''

Lola: I know what you’re thinking, my darlings. You’re thinking this sash totally goes with my gown. Well, thank you for the compliment. Leni actually picked it out for me.

[Beat]

Lola: Oh. You were… wondering about those girls, huh? The ones who looked like they were mad at me? Ah, don’t worry about them. I get that all the time from my pageant rivals.

[Lola walks into the dressing room and starts applying her makeup as she continues musing to the audience.]

Lola: You need to know something about my line of work, dearies. It’s a dog-eat-dog world on that stage, and if you wanna climb to the top, someone else has to be on the bottom. Does that mean I make a few enemies here and there? Absolutely. I’m not ashamed to admit that. But it’s not like I’m going out of my way to hurt anyone. That’s just the nature of competition.

[Lola puts away her makeup and turns back to the camera.]

Lola: And y’know what else? My true friends understand that. Those other girls are just sore losers. I don’t care what they think of me. But rivals like my friend Roxanne know that when I beat them, it’s nothing personal. We still respect each other as fellow pageant princesses at the end of the day, even if one of us is better than the other. Ah, there’s Roxanne now! Hey, Rox!

''[We pan over to Roxanne, who appears to be in a bad mood as she’s applying her own makeup. She gives Lola one look before turning away and ignoring her. Lola tilts her head.]''

Lola: Rough day?

''[Roxanne doesn’t reply. Lola awkwardly clears her throat.]''

Lola: So, uh…  Did you catch Prison Pageant last night? Boy, I really thought Jacquline was gonna escape in that one. I mean, she planned everything down to—

Roxanne: [curtly] Really? You’re just going to pretend that nothing happened?

Lola: [blinks in confusion] Um, what?

Roxanne: [turns savagely to Lola] Oh, don’t “what” me, Lola Loud! You know very well what!

Lola: I… honestly have no idea what you’re talking about, Rox.

Roxanne: I’m not falling for that! You always want to play the precious little angel, but I know better! I’m not speaking to you after what you did!

Lola: [dumbfounded] H-huh? Roxanne, what’s going on?

Roxanne: There you go again! You’re just gonna keep playing dumb, aren’t you?! Boy, you’ve got some nerve!

''[Lola sputters incoherently, completely in the dark. Roxanne scoffs.]''

Roxanne: This is why Lindsey Sweetwater always says you have no friends, Lola. You need to realize that there are other people in the world besides you. Maybe think about how they feel for a change, huh?

''[Roxanne marches off in a huff while Lola looks on, baffled and hurt. After a beat, she turns to the camera.]''

Lola: Excuse me for a moment, will you, dearies?

''[Lola darts into a closet. After a beat, she lets out a muffled scream.]''

***

''[We cut to the twins’ room later that day. Lola does her best to hide her emotions as she sets up for a tea party. She notices one of Lana’s dirty socks on the floor. With a groan, she looks over to Lana, who is on the floor coloring.]''

Lola: Lana, would you please pick up your sock?

Lana: [groans and rolls her eyes] Fine.

[Lana walks over to her sock, picks it up, and puts it back down.]

Lola: N-no! Don’t put it back down! Move it!

Lana: Alright, alright. Sheesh, picky picky.

''[Lana moves the sock about three inches. Lola pinches the bridge of her nose.]''

Lola: Okay, are you doing this on purpose? I really don’t think I’m asking for much here. Our tea party is going to start any minute, and my guests are going to be rather put-off if the place is a mess.

Lana: [scoffs] What guests? Your dolls? Lola, I don’t think they’re gonna care. They’re not even alive.

Lola: [snaps angrily] Well, I’m sorry I don’t have any real friends to invite to these things, okay?!

[Lana flinches and raises her arms defensively while Lola inwardly rebukes herself for the outburst.]

Lana: Whoa. Easy there. I-I was just…  Lola, are you okay?

''[Lola doesn’t respond. She simply takes a seat and turns away from Lana. Lana approaches her.]''

Lana: Hey, c’mon. Don’t be like that. I’m sorry I—

Lola: [interrupting] No, it’s fine. I shouldn’t be taking this out on you.

Lana: Taking what out on me? Did something happen?

''[Lola doesn’t answer. She just sniffles.]''

Lana: [sighs] Lola, I know you like to have your little secrets, but if something’s bothering you like this, I wanna help. Please. Just... talk to me.

[Lola lets out a defeated sigh.]

Lola: Roxanne’s mad at me.

[Beat]

Lana: [scratching her head] Um, okay. And Roxanne is…

Lola: My best friend. Or at least, she was.

[Beat]

Lana: [snaps her fingers] Oh, right. I think I remember her now. She’s the one who introduced you to that Prison Pageant show you like so much.

Lola: [smiles weakly] Yeah. Good times. [sighs] But now she hates me.

Lana: Why?

Lola: [sniffles] Th-that’s just it. I-I don’t know why. All I did was say hello to her, and she just told me off like I ruined her favorite dress or something. And she kept saying that I know what I did, but I don’t. I-I really don’t, Lana. [she looks at Lana with teary eyes] You believe me, right?

''[Lana furrows her brow and thinks for a moment. Finally, she nods.]''

Lana: Yeah, I believe you. I don’t think you could fake being this upset. Still, you must’ve done something to her.

Lola: But what? What could I have possibly done to her to make her hate me like this?

Lana: [shrugs] Beats me. Maybe she’s mad about the whole Friend Card fiasco? I mean, my friends weren’t too happy about me using them to get special privileges.

Lola: [shakes her head] No, that can’t be it. She was in on that.

Lana: Oh. Then, maybe this is about one of your pageants?

Lola: Why would it be that? She’s never complained about me beating her before. She knows it’s nothing personal.

Lana: Hmm. Welp, I’m out of ideas.

[Lola sighs and begins weeping softly.]

Lola: [sniffles] I don’t want our friendship to end like this, Lana. All of my other rivals either hate me or are too scared of me, b-but Roxanne’s different. I felt like she was willing to give me a chance when no one else would. A-and now…  Now she…

[Lana walks over to Lola and hugs her.]

Lana: There there, Lola. I’m sure you’ll think of something. [beat] Maybe you should talk about this with the others. They might be able to help.

Lola: [nods] O-okay.

[After a beat, Lana releases her.]

Lana: I’ma go put away my sock now.

Lola: [lets out a small chuckle] Thanks, Lana.

Lana: [scoffs] Don’t say I never did anything nice for ya.

[As Lana picks up her sock and moves it to her messy drawer, Lola sighs and looks down at her lap, lost in thought.]

***

''[The next scene opens in Lori and Leni’s room. Lola has just explained everything to Leni.]''

Leni: Hmm. Well, usually, when I do something wrong, I always try to apologize for it.

Lola: But how can I apologize if I don’t know what I did?

Leni: [smiles gently] It doesn’t matter what you did, Lola. As long as Roxanne knows that you’re sorry, she’ll forgive you. Heck, I don’t know what I do wrong half the time, and I still apologize.

Lola: Yeah, well. That’s ‘cause you’re you.

[Leni raises an eyebrow.]

Lola: [backpedaling] I-I mean, you’re just so nice and thoughtful and stuff. Th-that’s what I meant. Nothing to do with… the other thing. About you.

Leni: [knowingly] Lola…

Lola: [sighs] I know, I know. There’s more to your head than just air. I’m sorry.

Leni: [smiles] Apology accepted. See? It’s that easy. Here, I’ve got something for you.

''[Leni rummages through her closet and pulls out a small red box. She opens it to reveal an edible arrangement full of chocolate-covered strawberries. There’s a card in the box that reads “I’m Berry Sorry”. Lola raises an eyebrow.]''

Lola: Really? “I’m Berry Sorry?”  Who made this, Luan?

Leni: [blinks] No, I got it at the mall. Unless they got it from Luan or something, I dunno. Anyway, I was gonna give this to Lori for accidentally losing her nice sweater at the movie theater yesterday, but I think you need it more.

Lola: Are you sure? What’re you gonna do about Lori when she finds out you lost her sweater?

???: You what?!

[Leni and Lola turn to see an irate Lori standing in the doorway.]

Leni: O-oh! H-hey, Lori. I-I was just…

Lori: Lola. Out. Now.

Lola: [meekly] Y-yes’m.

''[Lola darts out of the room. As the door closes behind her, we hear muffled shouting as Lori chews Leni out. Lola looks at the edible arrangement and sighs.]''

Lola: I guess it’s worth a shot.

***

''[We cut to Royal Woods Elementary the next day. Lola spies Roxanne walking the halls. She takes a deep breath and pulls the edible arrangement out of her backpack.]''

Lola: Hey, Roxanne! Wait up!

''[Roxanne notices Lola and scowls. With a huff, she turns up her nose and walks right by her. Lola darts out in front of her.]''

Lola: H-hey. Look, I really don’t know what I did, but it clearly made you upset. So, I got you this.

''[Roxanne takes the box from Lola and opens it. She gives Lola a look.]''

Roxanne: You must think I’m stupid.

Lola: Wh-what? Rox, I-I don’t think that at all. Why would you—?

Roxanne: Really? “I’m Berry Sorry?”  Are you even trying to take this seriously? Or do you just want to apologize so that I’ll stop being mad at you?

Lola: [sheepishly] I mean, isn’t that usually how it works?

Roxanne: [shakes her head] Not after what you did.

Lola: But what did I do?

Roxanne: I think you know.

Lola: Well I think you’re wrong!

Roxanne: Well I think you’re lying!

Lola: But I’m not! I swear!

Roxanne: [scoffs] I’m not buying it. Goodbye, Lola.

''[Roxanne marches off and turns the corner, deliberately dropping the edible arrangement in the trash. Lola lets out a frustrated scream as she punches the wall. Realizing her mistake, she hops around, yelping in pain and holding her bruised hand.]''

***

''[The next scene opens with Lola in Luna and Luan’s room after school. She’s sitting in the beanbag chair with a bandage wrapped around her hand while Luan is seated on her bed and doing her homework on her laptop.]''

Lola: It’s not fair! Why can’t she accept my apology?! Leni said it doesn’t matter what I did as long as she knows I’m sorry!

Luan: Well, that’s not always the case, Lola. Sometimes, a simple “sorry” isn’t gonna cut it.

Lola: Yeah, I know that now. But what am I supposed to do? I have no idea what Roxanne is so mad about.

Luan: [thoughtfully] Hmm. Well, I’m just spitballing here, but can you remember doing anything recently that would make her mad? Like say, I don’t know, going through her diary?

[Lola gives Luan a look.]

Luan: Oh, don’t give me that look. We all know you read our diaries all the time.

[Lola squirms a bit in her seat, blushing slightly.]

Lola: C-can we not talk about that? I-I have my reasons.

Luan: [shrugs] I’m just saying if Roxanne knew you were doing that, she’d probably have a good reason to be angry.

Lola: You really think so?

Luan: Do you think any of us are happy about it?

[Beat]

Lola: Good point. Maybe if I apologize for that, she’ll know I’m being honest.

Luan: [does a double take] Wait, you actually did read her diary?

[Lola’s face turns even redder.]

Lola: [defensively] Look, it’s nothing personal, and I don’t share what I find with anyone. I just like to know who I’m competing against. Even if they are my best friend.

[Beat]

Luan: Well, no wonder your relationship is on the rox. [laughs] Get it?

Lola: [rolls her eyes] Ugh.

Luan: [deadpans] But seriously, you gotta kick that habit of yours. It’s gonna get you into trouble one of these days.

Lola: [sighs] I think it already has.

''[Lola hops out of the beanbag chair and slinks out of the room. Luan sighs and turns back to her homework.]''

Luan: I mean, really? “I’m Berry Sorry?”  That’s no opening line for a comedic apology. [she shakes her head] Tsk tsk. What were you thinking, Lola?

***

''[The next day, Lola sees Roxanne having lunch by herself. She takes a seat next to her, prompting Roxanne to frown and scoot over.]''

Lola: Roxanne, wait.

Roxanne: Wait for what?

[Lola breathes out a deep sigh and averts her eyes.]

Lola: I-I just wanted to say that… I’m sorry for going through your diary. I mean, I promise I didn’t tell anyone about what I read. I just do that for information. Y’know, in case there’s something that would be useful to know about my opponents, like a deep dark secret that I can…  Okay, that’s just making me sound worse. Wh-what I’m trying to say is…

''[As Lola struggles to apologize, Roxanne lets out a giggle. It soon evolves into a full-on laugh, although there is a cynical undertone to it. Lola lets out a chuckle of her own.]''

Lola: Y-yeah. I-I guess it is kinda funny when you think about i—

Roxanne: Y-you think this is about my diary?!

[Lola blinks in surprise.]

Lola: Wait, it isn’t? Why wouldn’t you be mad about—?

Roxanne: Um, hello~? You told me that you read your rivals’ diaries all the time, remember? Why would I be mad about it?

Lola: [blushes and twiddles her fingers] I-I just thought…  I mean, my siblings… [sighs] What are you mad about, then?

[Roxanne stops laughing and gives Lola a blank stare.]

Roxanne: You really don’t know, do you?

Lola: I… thought I made that pretty clear.

[Beat]

Roxanne: [groans] Unbelievable. You’re a real piece of work, you know that? How could something like this slip your mind?! Do I really mean that little to you?!

Lola: [frightened] I-I don’t know what to tell you, Rox. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.

Roxanne: [darkly] Well, that’s not my problem now, is it?

[Roxanne packs up her lunch and marches off.]

Lola: [hollering after Roxanne] For something that’s not your problem, you sure are making a big deal out of it! [she lets out an despondent moan and slams her head against the table]

***

''[We cut to Lola in Lori and Leni’s room after school. Lori’s brow furrows as she processes everything Lola told her.]''

Lori: Hmm. Just to be clear, you did ask her why she’s so upset, right?

Lola: Yes! Several times! And she only got more angry at me!

Lori: [folds her arms] Sounds to me like she’s not really being fair to you, Lola. All relationships are based around clear communication. She can’t just expect you to literally read her mind.

[Lola purses her lips and strokes her chin for a moment.]

Lola: Yeah. You’re right! She’s not being fair to me at all! If I don’t know what I did wrong, how am I supposed to make it right?

Lori: Exactly. And you need to tell her that.

Lola: Yeah! I should tell her that, shouldn’t I? I don’t know why I didn’t come to you sooner. [she gives Lori a hug] Thanks, Lori. You’re the best.

Lori: [smiles and returns the embrace] Always happy to help.

''[Lola marches out of the room, confident and determined. Leni walks in carrying a small red box.]''

Leni: [sheepishly] I’m sorry, Lori. I couldn’t find your sweater. But I got you something.

''[Lori takes the box and opens it, finding an edible arrangement inside. She deadpans.]''

Lori: Really, Leni? “I’m Berry Sorry?”  This literally has to be the cheesiest attempt at an apology I’ve ever seen.

Leni: Um, there’s no cheese in there, Lori. It’s chocolate-covered strawberries. I don’t think they even make edible arrangements with cheese.

[Lori sighs and facepalms.]

***

''[The next day, Lola is marching across the school playground, fire in her eyes. Many students shy away from her as she passes by. She sees Roxanne, who is still appearing quite dour as she sits alone in the sandbox.]''

Lola: Roxanne!

[Roxanne sighs, not even turning around.]

Roxanne: I’m still mad at you, Lola.

Lola: Yeah, well, I’m getting kinda mad at you! Why are you being such a meanie?!

[Roxanne stops and slowly turns around.]

Roxanne: Me? A meanie? Ha~! That’s rich coming from the meanest girl in school!

''[Many students gasp in astonishment. Lola snorts.]''

Lola: Well, at least I’m trying to be a good friend and make this right! But no matter what I do, nothing seems to work! What do you want from me, woman?!

Roxanne: Oh, I don’t know, maybe for you to actually feel bad for what you did to me?!

Lola: Read my lips, Roxanne! I.  Don’t. Know. What. I.  Did! Just tell me what I did, then I’ll feel bad about it!

Roxanne: You should know what you did!

Lola: Oh, so you think I can just read your mind?!

Roxanne: No, I think you need to pull your head out of your butt and think about how other people feel!

Lola: [frustrated] I am doing that! Why would I be going through all this trouble if I didn’t care about how you felt?!

[Roxanne’s face darkens.]

Roxanne: Because you’re Lola Loud.

Lola: E-excuse me?!

[Roxanne stands up and walks over to Lola.]

Roxanne: I really want to believe you, Lola, but I can’t. I know you better than that. And what really hurts me is that this is typical of you. All you care about is being the best no matter what, and you’ll hurt anyone to get there. I accepted that, ‘cause that’s just how the pageants work. In order to win, someone else has to lose.

[She sniffles and averts her eyes.]

Roxanne: I-I just didn’t think it would happen to me. I thought you respected me more than that. I guess I was wrong.

Lola: S-so, this is about a pageant? Rox, you know that it’s nothing personal.

Roxanne: [darkly] What you did sure felt personal, though. And here you are, trying to play the innocent victim and apologize when we both know you’re not gonna change. What’s gonna stop you from doing this again?

Lola: Well, the fact that I still have no idea what I did, for starters!

[Roxanne lets out a heavy sigh.]

Roxanne: I’m sorry, Lola. This friendship is over.

''[Roxanne walks off, appearing as though she’s holding back tears. Lola doesn’t look that great herself, as her bottom lip quivers and her eyes get all misty.]''

Lola: [whimpers] O-over?

''[She hears the students around her mumbling to themselves. She growls, causing them to flee in terror. She then sighs and slumps over.]''

***

''[We cut to the Loud House later that day. Lana is taking Lincoln by the hand to her room.]''

Lana: I’m tellin’ you, Linc. This has gotten really bad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Lola get this upset before. [she knocks on the door] Lola? We’re coming in.

''[Lana opens the door to her room. Lola is curled up in her canopy bed, sobbing and eating a tub of ice cream. Two empty tubs lie on the floor.]''

Lincoln: Yikes. You weren’t kidding, Lana.

Lana: Oh, it gets worse. [she turns to Lola] Hey, Lols? You’re getting ice cream all over your sheets.

Lola: [depressed] I don’t care. [she noms a bit of ice cream]

Lana: [turns back to Lincoln] See?

Lincoln: Oof. Yeah, I see what you mean. And this is all because her friend Roxanne is mad at her?

Lola: Sh-she’s not my friend anymore. Sh-she said I-I was too mean to have friends. A-and she’s absolutely right. [she noms some more ice cream as she chokes back sobs]

[Lincoln sighs and sits down next to Lola.]

Lincoln: C’mon, Lo’. Don’t talk like that. I know you can be difficult at times, but you still deserve to have friends. And I’d bet anything that if Roxanne saw you like this, she’d see just how much her friendship means to you.

''[Lola looks up at Lincoln  After a pause, she bawls her eyes out and hugs him. Lincoln affectionately strokes her hair.]''

Lincoln: There there. It’s okay. I’m right here.

Lola: [sobbing] Oh, Linky. I-I’d do anything to fix this. B-but I don’t even know what I did wrong. And Roxanne won’t talk to me anymore.

''[Lincoln strokes his chin in thought. Suddenly, his expression brightens.]''

Lincoln: Well, if Roxanne won’t talk to you, maybe she’ll talk to someone else.

Lola: H-huh?

Lincoln: Just a sec.

[Lincoln darts out of the room and returns in a matter of seconds, dressed in his Ace Savvy uniform.]

Lincoln: The deck may be stacked against you, Lola, but something about this whole thing feels off. So I’m gonna get to the bottom of it, Ace Savvy style. [he pulls a deck of cards out of his pocket, only for a few of them to fly around the room] Dang it. I still can’t get that right.

Lana: [smirks] Hey, Ace. How about you deal in the Royal Flush for this one?

Lola: L-Lana…

Lana: [scoffs] Don’t act so surprised, Lols. I told you before; if something like this is bothering you, I wanna help.

[Lola smiles through her tears.]

Lola: Thanks so much, you guys. I-I seriously owe you both for this.

Lincoln: As Ace Savvy would say, it’s no big deal. [he pulls out another deck of cards, but once again, the cards go flying everywhere] Dang it.

***

''[We cut to the next day at Royal Woods Elementary. Roxanne walks out of the ladies’ room, heaving a great sigh. When she looks up, she sees Lincoln and Lana giving her a stern look. She arches an eyebrow at Lincoln.]''

Roxanne: Aren’t you Lola’s pageant coach? What do you want?

Lincoln: Roxanne, we need to talk to you about Lola.

Roxanne: [haughtily] Sorry. Lola and I are not on speaking terms.

[She tries to leave, but Lana blocks her path.]

Lana: See, that’s kinda the thing. You just dropped this on her out of nowhere, and she’s taking it pretty hard. She really likes being your friend, Roxanne. Why won’t you give her a chance to explain herself?

[Beat]

Roxanne: [folds her arms] Okay, did Lola put you both up to this?

Lincoln: Not at all. We’re doing this because we care about her. Now, how about you tell us what Lola did to make you so upset?

[Roxanne blushes and hides her face.]

Roxanne: I-I don’t wanna say. I-it’s… personal.

Lana: Well, at least tell us what Lola can do to make this right. She said she was willing to do anything to fix this.

[Roxanne gives Lana a look.]

Roxanne: Sh-she actually said that? And meant it?

Lana: [nods] Swear on my lucky plunger. Trust me, I can usually tell when Lola’s lying, and she wasn’t this time.

[Roxanne knits her brow.]

Roxanne: I-I don’t know. I want to believe you, but—

???: If she’s willing to do anything, I might have a suggestion.

''[All eyes turn to a snide voice entering the conversation. The voice belongs to a six-year-old girl with long orange hair, a red bow, and a royal purple dress with frills. Recognizing her voice, Lincoln narrows his eyes.]''

Lincoln: Lindsey Sweetwater? Why would you be interested in this?

Lindsey: Oh, haven’t you heard? I’ve been helping Roxanne through this horrible ordeal. [she moseys over to Roxanne and places an arm around her shoulder] It was so mean what Lola did to you, wasn’t it, dearie?

Lana: So, you know what Lola did?

Lindsey: Of course I do. But let’s not get off-track here. You said Lola was willing to do anything to fix this, right? Even, say, I don’t know, giving up pageants forever?

[Lincoln, Lana, and Roxanne all gasp in horror.]

Lincoln: Are you nuts?! That’s completely unreasonable!

Lindsey: Is it, though? If you ask me, I think it’s just what she deserves. In fact, she should also confess that she cheated in all of her pageants and give those trophies to their rightful owners.

Lincoln: [sputters] Th-that’s even more unreasonable! Lola has never cheated to win a pageant, ever!

Lindsey: Oh? How do you know for sure?

Roxanne: Lindsey, th-that’s Lola’s pageant coach. I-I think he knows. [swallows nervously] Look, I-I’m pretty mad at Lola for what she did, but don’t you think this is a bit much?

[Lindsey chuckles and pats Roxanne on the shoulder.]

Lindsey: Oh, Roxie. Roxie, Roxie, Roxie. Try and see the bigger picture here. This way, you’ll get to see Lola Loud’s true colors. She’ll have to pick between her pageant career, or your friendship. Which is more important to her, I wonder?

[Lana snorts angrily and rolls up her sleeves.]

Lana: I wanna hit her. Can I hit her?

Lincoln: Easy, Lana. We’re still in school.

Lindsey: [to Lincoln] Do be a dear and tell Lola to meet me and Roxanne at the pageant hall after school tomorrow, would you? And feel free to let her know what the stakes are.

Lincoln: Can we also tell her what she actually did to deserve all this?

[Lindsey thinks for a moment, and then smiles evilly.]

Lindsey: I think she already knows.

Roxanne: A-actually, she doesn’t. I-I don’t know why, but she—

[Lindsey puts a finger to Roxanne’s lips, silencing her.]

Lindsey: Ah, sweet, naïve Roxie. What did I tell you about listening to Lola? You have to take everything she says with a shovelful of salt.

Lana: [furious] I’m gonna give you a shovelful of salt in a minute, you little—

Lindsey: Up bup bup! Temper temper. Unless, of course, you want Principal Huggins to get in on this.

[Lana snarls and stands down.]

Lindsey: Well, I think it’s time we took our leave. Adieu, Mr. Pageant Coach. Adieu, [she sneers at Lana] Little Miss Prim and Perfect.

[Lana’s eyes go wide.]

Lindsey: Oh yes. I know all about that. And just FYI, Lola will have to admit to cheating to win that one, too. So sorry, but them’s the breaks.

''[Lindsey saunters off, dragging a nervous Roxanne with her. Lana throws her hat to the ground in frustration.]''

Lana: Dang it! This isn’t fair! We can’t let Lola go through with this, Lincoln!

Lincoln: You’ll get no argument from me, Lans. [his brow furrows] Still, what’re we gonna do? We still don’t know what Roxanne is so mad about.

Lana: Whatever it is, it can’t be so bad that Lola has to give up doing what she loves to make up for it. I don’t know about you, but I smell a rat. One that wears way too much perfume.

Lincoln: [nods] My thoughts exactly. But we’re gonna need proof.

Lana: How’re we gonna get that?

[Lincoln thinks for a moment, and then smirks.]

Lincoln: Just leave that to the Man with the Plan.

***

''[We cut to the pageant hall later that day. Roxanne enters the dressing room, checking around to see if the coast is clear. When she confirms this, she lets out a sad sigh and takes a seat at the vanity. Unbeknownst to her, Lincoln is hiding in the supply closet equipped with his walkie talkie and a tape recorder. He turns on his walkie talkie.]''

Lincoln: Ace Savvy to Royal Flush. Come in, Royal Flush.

''[We see Lana appear in a split-screen shot. She is hiding behind a rack of dresses as she spies on a group of girls gossiping. Lindsey is with them.]''

Lana: This is Royal Flush; I read you loud and clear. What’s the sitch?

Lincoln: Roxanne just came in here. She still looks pretty upset, but I’m not sure what she’s thinking. Any sign of Sweetwater?

Lana: She’s out here gabbing with the other girls. Probably gloating about how she plans to take down Lola.

Lincoln: [nods] Perfect. Commence Operation: Find Out Why Roxanne is Mad at Lola.

Lana: Roger that. Starting the operation now. [she turns off her walkie talkie and removes her cap, revealing Hops] Okay, boy. You’ve got one shot at this. Make it count.

''[Hops nods and hops into one of the dresses on the rack. He pokes his head out and aims for Lindsey.]''

Lindsey: It’s the dawn of a new era, girls. After tomorrow, Lola Loud will be history. Unfortunately, Roxie insisted that everything be kept on the down-low. You know how… sensitive she is about the whole thing.

[Some of the girls snicker, while a few just look concerned.]

Lindsey: Yes, yes. It’s quite funny. But let’s not focus on Roxie. She’s had a hard enough time, don’t you think? I mean, after what Lola did, I’m surprised she hasn’t—

''[At that moment, Hops lashes out his tongue and licks Lindsey’s cheek, leaving a mucus residue. Lindsey spins around, furious.]''

Lindsey: Okay, who’s the wise guy?! What even is—?

[She places a hand to her cheek, only to discover the gross texture of Hops’s mucus.]

Lindsey: Ew~! Ew ew ew~! Ugh, when I find out who did this, heads are gonna roll!

''[Lindsey storms off towards the dressing room. Lana high-fives Hops’s tongue and contacts Lincoln.]''

Lana: This is Royal Flush. Phase One is complete.

[We cut over to the dressing room.]

Lincoln: Copy that, Royal Flush. Initiating Phase Two.

''[Lincoln turns on the tape recorder just as Lindsey barges in. Roxanne jumps, looking rather startled.]''

Roxanne: L-Lindsey! Wh-what happened?

Lindsey: Nothing. Shut up. ''[she takes a seat at the vanity and begins powdering her face. Roxanne stares down at the floor for a while before clearing her throat]''

Roxanne: Actually, Lindsey, I’ve been thinking.

Lindsey: About what?

Roxanne: I don’t think I want Lola to do all this just to apologize.

[Lindsey puts down her powder and turns to Roxanne.]

Lindsey: What?

Roxanne: Well, she certainly didn’t cheat to win all of her pageants. Why would you make her lie like that?

Lindsey: [groans] Must I explain this again? It’s to show you what she cares about more: your friendship, or her pageant career. She can’t have both.

Roxanne: Why not?

Lindsey: Because she forfeited the right to have both the moment she hurt you.

Roxanne: But she doesn’t even know what she did.

Lindsey: [scoffs] Do you really believe that? This is Lola Loud we’re talking about. She’ll say anything just to get her way. That’s just the kind of girl she is, and I’m sorry to say this, but it’s your fault for trusting her.

Roxanne: And why should I trust you? Everyone knows that you’ve been trying to ruin Lola’s life ever since she started beating you.

Lindsey: [haughtily] Well, I’m not the one who told everyone at school that you secretly like Princess Pony, now am I?

''[Lincoln’s eyes go wide, and he almost drops the tape recorder. Roxanne’s face turns beet red.]''

Roxanne: [hissing angrily] Will you keep your voice down?! I told you that in confidence!

Lindsey: No need to get your panties in a bunch, Roxie. Trust me, Lola doesn’t respect you nearly as much as I do.

Roxanne: [huffs] I’m starting to think that you don’t respect me at all. I think you’re just using me to get at Lola.

Lindsey: [appearing offended] Oh, Roxie~. How could you think that after everything I’ve done to help? If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have known about Lola’s little betrayal until it was too late. You should count your blessing to have a true friend like me. Now, if you’ll excuse me…

''[Lindsey finishes touching up her face and walks out of the dressing room. Roxanne sighs and reaches into her backpack, taking out what appears to be a graphic novel of some kind. She sighs.]''

Roxanne: I wonder what you would do in my shoes, Princess Pony.

[Lincoln stares through the keyhole in the door, his mouth agape as he switches off the tape recorder.]

Lincoln: [whispering to himself] Lola is not going to believe this…

***

''[We cut to the twins’ room later that day. Lincoln and Lana have just finished playing the tape recording for Lola. Understandably, she has a shocked look on her face.]''

Lola: Holy schamoly. I-I don’t believe this.

Lincoln: Yeah. I know. It’s a lot to take in. Are you gonna be—?

Lola: How can Roxanne like Prison Pageant and Princess Pony at the same time?!

Lincoln: [does a double take] Wait, what?

Lola: I mean, that’s not the only thing I’m surprised about, but out of everything, that just makes the least amount of sense! Prison Pageant and Princess Pony are complete opposites of one another! That’s like someone playing violent video games and also sleeping with a stuffed bunny at night!

''[Lincoln deadpans and clears his throat. Lola looks up at him for a beat.]''

Lola: I stand by what I said. [she pats Lincoln’s head] And I still love you, Linky.

Lana: Wait, hold up. It sounds like you didn’t know Roxanne liked Princess Pony.

Lola: Well, of course I didn’t know that. It certainly wasn’t in her diary.

Lincoln: Hang on. You read Roxanne’s diary?

Lola: [groans] I know, I know. I went over this with Luan. I’m gonna work on breaking that habit. That’s not the point. The point is I honestly had no idea she liked Princess Pony. And even if I did, I wouldn’t use it against her like that. Only someone really petty like Lindsey Sweetwater would… do… something… like…

[She trails off as she starts piecing things together.]

Lana: Uh, you okay, Lola?

Lola: I-I didn’t actually do anything wrong. Lindsey Sweetwater must’ve spilled Roxanne’s secret and framed me for it.

Lincoln: Are you sure about that? I mean, she was acting really suspicious, but I don’t think we have anything conclusive on her.

[After a pause, Lola smiles at Lincoln and Lana.]

Lola: Thanks for all your help, you two. I’ll take it from here.

Lana: You sure about that, Lola? Linc and I can do some more sleuthing, if you want.

Lola: Thanks, but you guys have done enough, and I’m very grateful for it. Now, would you please excuse me? I’d like to be alone.

Lana: Uh, sure. C’mon, Lincoln.

''[Lana leads Lincoln out of her room and closes the door. After a beat, they hear Lola snicker. The snicker soon turns into full-on maniacal laughter.]''

Lincoln: Should we be worried?

Lana: I think the only one who needs to be worried is Lindsey Sweetwater. She’s about to find out the hard way what happens when you make Lola mad.

[Lola’s maniacal laughter continues.]

Lincoln: Boy. I’m sure glad I’m not in her shoes.

Lana: Ditto.

***

''[We cut to the pageant hall the next day. Lola enters the scene, her backpack slung over her shoulder. She spots Lindsey waiting for her on stage. Lola takes a deep breath and joins her on the stage. Lindsey sneers.]''

Lindsey: Hello, Loud.

Lola: Sweetwater.

[Beat]

Lindsey: I’ve been waiting a long time for this, Lola Loud. No matter what I did, I was always left in your shadow. You were always the one in control. But you’re not calling the shots this time. I am. And you will not—

Lola: [interrupting] Where’s Roxanne?

[Lindsey blinks.]

Lindsey: Pardon? Oh, right. Roxie. She’ll be along shortly. And she’ll get to see you for who you really are.

Lola: [crosses her arms] Who I really am, huh? And just what is that, exactly?

''[Lindsey chuckles and circles Lola like a hungry wolf. Lola continues to stare at her with bemused contempt.]''

Lindsey: Oh, don’t play dumb. We both know the truth. You, Lola Loud, are nothing but a spoiled little brat who will do anything and hurt anyone to get what she wants. You only care about yourself and no one else. That’s why no one likes you. That’s why you have no friends.

[Lola lets out an angry snort before quickly regaining her composure.]

Lindsey: Oh, but what’s that, you say? You claim that Roxanne is your friend? Don’t make me laugh. How long was it going to be before you turned on her? A month? A week? Heck, I actually did her a favor. If I didn’t spread that rumor about her liking Princess Pony, you would’ve done something far worse.

[Lola arches an eyebrow, but says nothing.]

Lindsey: Not even gonna deny it, huh? I guess you’re saving your breath for when you give Roxie your little sob story to get her to forgive you. [she lets out a mock gasp] But, oh dear. If you admit to cheating in all of those pageants, I don’t think she’s gonna want to be friends with a cheater. So, you’re doomed either way. Too bad, so sad.

[Beat]

Lindsey: Actually, I take that back. It’s not sad at all. Because here’s the thing, Lola Loud. A monster like you doesn’t deserve to have all those trophies, and you certainly don’t deserve to have friends. So I’m taking it all away from you and leaving you with nothing, which is what you deserve. But hey, don’t get upset. Like you say all the time, it’s nothing personal.

[All is silent for a time.]

Lola: You done?

Lindsey: Yes, I am. And so are you. It’s time for you to admit that you’ve lost.

[Lola sighs and brushes some lint off of her shoulders.]

Lola: You think you know me so well, don’t you?

Lindsey: [smugly] Well, of course I do.

Lola: Do you, Lindsey Sweetwater? Do you really? [she begins pacing back and forth] I mean, I’m not going to deny everything you said. It’s true. I can be selfish, and bossy, and bratty, and a lot of other stuff. Honestly, sometimes I’m so evil, I even scare myself.

[She stops pacing and gives Lindsey a dark look.]

Lola: But no matter how bad I get, at least I’m nothing like you.

Lindsey: [scoffs] And, how is that a good thing for you, exactly? Of course you’re nothing like me. I’m the good guy here.

[Lola lets out a hollow laugh.]

Lola: Oh, that’s just adorable. You? The good guy? Please. Hey, you know what good guys don’t do? They don’t go around framing people for crimes they themselves committed.

Lindsey: Oh, c’mon. You were going to do it eventually. All I did was hurry things along.

Lola: [sighs] You really don’t get it, do you? Here’s something you clearly don’t know about me, Lindsey Sweetwater. Whenever I do something mean, it’s usually for a reason. It’s not always a good reason, but I have a reason. So, if you know me so well, what reason would I have to hurt Roxanne, hmm?

''[Lindsey just stares blankly at Lola. Lola scoffs and folds her arms.]''

Lola: Go on. I’m waiting. Honestly, if you ask me, I can’t think of a single one. Or did you really think that I would go out of my way to hurt her just to be mean?

Lindsey: S-stop embarrassing yourself. You really think Roxanne is going to buy that?

Lola: I think I’d rather let Roxanne decide that for herself.

Lindsey: Hmph. Good luck. There’s no way she’s going to believe you after—

''[She’s interrupted by a stern clearing of the throat. She spins around, and her eyes widen. There stands Roxanne, looking rather cross.]''

Lindsey: H-how long have you been—?

Roxanne: Long enough.

[Lindsey growls and turns savagely to Lola.]

Lindsey: You set me up!

Lola: [scoffs] Um, hello~? You’re the one who invited Roxanne here to show her my true colors, remember?

[Lindsey sputters, desperately trying to come up with a retort.]

Lola: Oh, and just a friendly bit of advice from one pageant princess to another. You usually want to keep your speeches under a minute long. Otherwise, you come off as someone who just likes the sound of their own voice. Which is quite apropos for you, now that I think about it.

[Lindsey turns back to Roxanne.]

Lindsey: Roxie, I-I can explain…

Roxanne: Save your breath, Sweetwater. It’s obvious now who my real friend is. [she sighs and walks up to Lola, looking rather ashamed] Lola, I am so, so sorry. I shouldn’t have let her fill my head with all that nonsense about you. I-I’d understand if you didn’t want to be my friend anymore.

[Lola smiles and starts to tear up.]

Lola: Oh, Rox. Of course I wanna be your friend. I know I’m not an easy person to get along with, but it really means a lot to me when people like you are willing to give me a chance.

Roxanne: B-but what about my secret?

Lola: What? That you like Princess Pony? [chuckles] C’mon, Rox. Sure, I think it’s a little weird, but that’s not a dealbreaker for me. [she leans in and dips her voice] Actually, one of my siblings likes that syrupy stuff, too.

Roxanne: R-really? Which one?

[Lola winks and puts a finger to her lips.]

Lola: Sorry. I promised my siblings that I wouldn’t gossip about them anymore. And that’s a promise I wanna keep.

''[Roxanne smiles and throws her arms around Lola. Lola returns the embrace in kind.]''

Roxanne: That’s the Lola I remember. I-I missed you so much.

Lola: Same here. And hey, if I ever do make you mad, talk to me about it. My big sister Lori says that clear communication is important in any relationship.

Roxanne: I will. Th-thank you, Lola.

''[After a beat, the two reunited friends release each other. Roxanne then turns and scowls at Lindsey, who is standing there fuming.]''

Lindsey: Unbelievable. Did you not hear everything I said about Lola? You’re making a big mistake here, Roxanne.

Roxanne: [cooly] The only mistake I made was thinking I could trust you. You played me like a fiddle just so you could ruin Lola’s life. In the Prison Pageant, that’s a good way to get shivved.

Lindsey: [snidely] Oh really? And what would Princess Pony say about this, huh?

Roxanne: [automatically] She’d probably banish you. Or lock you in a dungeon. Or banish you and then lock you in a dungeon in the place she banished you to.

[Lola and Lindsey gawk at Roxanne.]

Lola: Wait, that actually happens in Princess Pony? Sheesh, maybe I was wrong about that series.

Roxanne: [shrugs] Eh, I’m not sure it’s for you, Lola. But I’d be willing to lend you some of my books, if you’re willing to give it a shot.

Lindsey: Ah-ha! Now I can spread a rumor that you like Princess Pony, Lola Loud! I still win!

''[Roxanne snarls and brandishes her princess wand, but Lola raises and arm and shakes her head. As Roxanne stands down, Lola gives Lindsey her signature evil grin.]''

Lola: [menacingly] Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Lindsey Sweetwater. Because if you did that, I’d be very mad. And when I get mad, El Diablo gets upset. And when El Diablo gets upset, well… [giggles evilly] You don’t wanna know what happens next.

Lindsey: [smirks] Really? And who’s El Diablo?

Lola: Oh, you haven’t met El Diablo? He’s one of my sister Lana’s pets. Here, I’ll introduce you. [she unslings her backpack from her back and opens it up] Oh, El Diablo~! Come on out, boy~!

''[El Diablo rasps and pokes his head out of Lola’s bag. Lindsey’s eyes nearly pop out of her skull, and she turns as white as a sheet.]''

Lindsey: Wh-wh-why do you have th-that thing here?!

Lola: What’s the matter, Sweetwater? Lost your nerve?

Lindsey: [laughs nervously] Y-you’re bluffing. I-if you sic that thing on me, I’ll—

Lola: Don’t you remember what I told you, Lindsey Sweetwater? I don’t do stuff like that without a reason. So, wanna give me one?

[Lindsey trembles all over as she backs away from Lola.]

Lindsey: Th-this isn’t over, Loud! I-I’ll bring you down yet! You haven’t heard the last of Lindsey Sweet—

[El Diablo hisses, causing Lindsey to jump.]

Lindsey: Eeek~! M-M-M-MOMMY~!

''[Lindsey Sweetwater darts off, her tail between her legs. Lola smirks and pats El Diablo on the head.]''

Lola: Good boy. I owe you another night of cuddles. But only if you don’t tell Lana about this.

Roxanne: How did you know that would get her to back off?

Lola: Easy. Lindsey Sweetwater’s afraid of snakes. I read about it in her diary.

[Beat]

Roxanne: Y’know, for someone who claims to be a slow reader, you sure go through other people’s diaries a lot.

Lola: [blushes and shrugs] I never said it was easy. Also, yeah. I think I’m gonna work on kicking that habit.

[Beat]

Roxanne: [smirks] Y’know what, Lola?

Lola: What?

Roxanne: I don’t think a real monster would be so honest about herself. And I think you do deserve to have friends.

[Lola gets all choked up.]

Lola: Thanks, Rox. I’m so glad you understand me.

[The two of them share another embrace.]

Roxanne: So, I’ll have to ask my parents, but would you like to come over this weekend and watch Prison Pageant with me? I hear this is the episode where they’re gonna announce the Prison Princess.

Lola: You know it, girl. I bet you anything Beatrice is gonna win it, though. Seriously, how many girls can you say are able to pull off horizontal stripes like her?

Roxanne: Eh, I dunno. I think Jacqueline has a pretty good shot.

Lola: After that escape attempt? I thought she’d be disqualified.

Roxanne: [coyly] Well, you know Jacqueline. She always has some scheme cooking up in that brain of hers. [she smirks at Lola] Kinda like someone else I know.

Lola: [laughs] Oh, stop it, you~.

[The two of them laugh and walk offstage, linked arm-in-arm.]

The End

Trivia

 * I toyed with the idea of Roxanne revealing that her princess wand is secretly a shiv and threatening Lindsey Sweetwater with it, but in the end, Lola's plan with El Diablo just tied everything together more.
 * I never understood why the pageant girls would randomly be hanging out in the pageant hall during episodes like A Tattler's Tale and Fool Me Twice, but I decided to just roll with it.