User blog:Chanyhuman/Be Stellan my Heart (Genderbent Be Stella my Heart)

The fallowing is a genderbent version of Be Stella my Heart. Story

[We start off showing a shot of the school, which then shows Linka and her friends having lunch.]

Clare: "Lia, would you be interested in my hand-cut sushi? It's Yellowtail."

Lia: "You know I am. Hey, you want my deviled eggs? They're farm-to-table."

Ruby: "Linka, is that your mom’s homemade pudding?"

Linka: "It is. What are you offering?"

Ruby: "One bologna sandwich, fridge-to-table."

Linka: "Throw in your buffalo chips, and you’ve got yourself a deal."

Zoe: "So, no takers on my tuna kit?"

Ruby: "Your dad’s still buying those, huh?"

[Zoe sadly nods.]

Linka: *notices someone* "Guys, here comes the new boy! The one I met on the bus."

[The girls all look and see Stellan with a lunch bag walking their way.]

Lia: "Ooo-wee, He sure is easy on the eyes."

Zoe: "Oh yeah. And I hear he speaks three different languages."

Clare: "Have you guys heard his laugh? It's so... contagious."

Ruby: "I like the way his hair smells." [The other girls gawk] "What? Too far?"

Linka: *gasps* "Here he comes! Be cool! Be cool!"

Stellan: "Hey, guys. Anybody wanna trade for my carrots?"

[The other girls try to act cool. Ruby is drooling green liquid, Zoe is nibbling on a straw from a milk carton, Lia is nervously staring, Linka is drinking but coughs out and chokes, and Clare swallows a deviled egg, but then coughs it out.]

Stellan: "Uhhhh... right. So, yeah. I’ll just, uh... yeah." *leaves*

Linka: "Wonder what that was all about?"

Zoe: "I don't know, but I'm glad we played it so cool."

[Later in gym class, the girls are playing Dodgeball.]

Ruby: "Okay, guys, snake formation!"

[Zoe, Linka, Clare, and Lia hide behind Ruby, imitating snake sounds.]

Zoe: "Keep an eye out for Boy Jordan. Last time, he blindsided us."

[Stellan enters the scene.]

Stellan: "Hey, guys, what do you have going on here? Some kind of defensive maneuver? Can I get in on this?" [The girls are frozen in place, just awkwardly staring.] "Okay... well, good luck." *leaves*

Linka: "Seriously. Why does he keep coming over to us?" *gets hit by a Dodgeball*

Zoe: "Aw, come on, Boy Jordan! Coach didn't even blow the whistle yet!"

[Later, they are in their science class, Zoe picks up a beaker.]

Clare: "I think we can all agree I should handle the Bunsen Burner after what happened last time."

Zoe: "Yeah. Ruby and her aftershave."

Ruby: "What can I say? It sets the gents on fire too."

[Stellan once again appears.]

Stellan: "Hey, guys, need another lab partner? Otherwise, I have to be with Mro. Johnson. Not that he doesn't seem cool, but you know what I mean."

[The other girls try to act cool once again until Zach drops the beaker, which explodes. Stellan just leaves.]

[Later, they are waiting outside the nurse's office.]

Ruby: "You burned off my mustache, Zoe!"

Zach: "It’s only peach fuzz, Ruby. Besides, it was like, two hairs."

Linka: "I still don't get it. Why does Stellan keep coming over to talk to us? That's three times in one day."

Lia: "Maybe he’s trying to sell us a time-share."

Zoe: *gasps* "Maybe he’s spying on us for the CIA."

Ruby: "Guys, what you don't know about men could fill a library. He obviously has a crush on one of us."

[Zoe, Lia, and Clare grow in shock to hear that.]

Linka: "Now that you mention it, I was picking up some vibes."

Lia: *chuckles* "Dang! I wonder who he likes?"

Clare: "I guess we'll just have to wait till he makes his next move."

Ruby: "I hope I have time to grow back my 'stache."

Zoe: “Peach fuzz stache.”

Ruby: “What ever.”

[Later, the girls are at their lockers, prepping themselves. Lia combs her hair up, Clare puts a tissue in her dress pocket, Linka flosses her teeth, Zoe cleans her glasses, and Ruby applies breath spray.]

Ruby: "Anyone want some breath spray? Sour green apple, it's a total gent killer." *Closes her locker*

Zoe: *Putting her glasses back on* "I'll take some. That tuna kit didn't do much for my breath."

Linka: "Here he comes. Play it cool."

Stellan: "Hey guys." *Stops when he sees the girls are just staring at him again. * "Linka, do you wanna go to the Burpin' Burger after school?"

Linka: "Yes! I knew it was me!" *Quickly realizing what she just did* "I mean, sure, I think I'm free."

Stellan: "Great, my family's on a health kick and I'm really craving some fries." *Starts off* "Meet you by the busses."

[Linka gets pulled in by the rest of her friends.]

Zoe: "Aw, Lucky!"

Lia: "You dog!"

Clare: "Congratulations, buddy."

Ruby: "Ugh, it’s always Linka."

Linka: "What can I say? I'm mean, I am having a really good hair week."

[The next day, Linka is bragging to the others about his time with Stellan.]

Linka: "You should have seen him on that claw machine, he was a boss."

Zoe: "Woman! He’s cool."

Linka: "And get this, we both prefer curly fries to regular, it's like we're meant for each other."

Ruby: *Still jealous* "Well, everyone prefers curly fries."

Clare: *Looks out the classroom door* "Oh! Here he comes."

[Stellan walks into the classroom, waves at the girls, and walks over.]

Zoe: "Probably gonna ask aboutdate, numberr two." *Elbows Linka* "Eh? Eh?"

[Linka smiles, and plays it cool, only for Stellan to walk right past her as if she wasn't even there.]

Stellan: "Hey, Ruby." [Ruby accidentally slams her desktop onto her hand, and yelps in pain.] "Do you wanna go to the flea market with me later?"

[The other four stareinh disbelief.]

Ruby: *Still in pain* "Totally, totally."

Stellan: "Cool." *Walks off*

Ruby: "Gah!" [Takes out her hand, which is now aching from the pain.]

Linka: *Out of jealously* "What was that, woman?! Stellan and I have a thing going on!

Ruby: "What do you want me to say?" *Stroking her hair* "I guess he decided he prefers red sauce over white sauce." [Points to, the extremely angry, Linka’s hair.]

[The next day, the girls are in the jungle gym, Ruby now has the bragging grounds.] Ruby: "... and then we went out for ice cream and it turns out we both like waffle cones."

Linka: *Sitting on the ground, jealous* "Well, everyone likes waffle cones." Zoe: *Looks over* "Hey, check it out, Ruby."

[Stellan is walking over to the girls, waving.]

Ruby: "Probably wants to lock me down for the whole weekend."

Stellan: "Hey, Lia." [The girls are surprised at this.] "You wanna go to the mall after school? I know this sounds weird, but I really like trying on wigs at the wig store."

Lia: [So amazed, she falls off the jungle gym, but gets back up.] "Don't sound weird to me, I'm in."

[Stellan gives her a thumbs up and leaves.]

Ruby: [Who's now jealous again.] "What the heck Lia?"

Linka: *Self-satisfied* "Tough break, 'red sauce', I guess he’s more into biscuits and gravy now."

[Montage begins with the next day, the girls are in the classroom, Lia shows them the photos she and Stellan took, suddenly, Stellan taps Zoe’s shoulder, waves, and makes pistol gestures, for he is asking Zoe to go laser tagging, Zoe’s eyes turn to hearts, and Lia bangs on his desk with jealousy. The day after that, Zoe is showing the girls the video of her and Stellan laser tagging, Stellan then taps Clare’s shoulder, waves, and does a little dance. Which in body language, he is asking Clare to the arcade to play Dance Dance Revolution, Clare’s eyes turn to hearts, and Zoe, out of jealousy, punches the drinking fountain, and drops to the floor, clutching her injured hand. The next, next, next day, Clare shows the girls the photo, and they all rage with jealousy. The montage ends.]

[After school, Linka is walking home, talking to herself.]

Linka: "Ugh! I'm so confused, why does Stellan keep asking out all of us? What is his deal? Polygamy? *ponders* Nah!"

[She walks into the house, where her brothers are watching the Dream Boat.]

Levi Loud: "Female sibling lacking melanin, care to join us in viewing the Dream Boat?"

Linka: "Eh, I'm not really in the mood." [Walks to the stairs, when suddenly one of the characters on the Dream Boat says something.]

Kevin: "I'm really torn, they're all great guys, but I'm still not sure who I want to be my first mate. Guess I'll just wait 'till one of them blows me out of the water."

Linka: *Continues talking to herself* "Oh, so that's what Stellan’s doing." *Runs back down the stairs and shoves Levi over. * "Move over."

[The next day, Linka is at school with her date khakis and short sleeve collared shirt on, and her hair done. She walks up to her locker and to her surprise, she sees Ruby wearing a white dress, Zoe had her teeth whitened, Clare is not wearing his glasses, (making her eyes look smaller), and Lia is spraying on cologne, which goes into her eyes.]

Zoe: *Noticing Linka, and confidently says* "Well, well, well, look at you Ms. Date khakis."

Linka: "It's laundry day, I couldn't find my skirt." *Suspiciously* "What about you guys?"

Zoe: "What? I happened to have a coupon for teeth whitening."

[Zoe smiles, and the smile is so bright it blinds the other girls.]

Lia: "And I always wear this much cologne."

Clare: *Facing the wrong way* "And, I've been meaning to ditch my glasses."

[Lia turns Clare around to face the group.]

Ruby: *Saying out loud what they're all thinking. * "Okay guys, let's be real, we all watched the Dream Boat last night, we know Stellan hasn't decided who he likes, andwe'ree all trying to 'blow her out of the water'."

[They all babble in agreement.]

Zoe: Well, uh... this is awkward."

Clare: It doesn't have to be. We can be ladies about this."

[They all ramble in agreement, again. At lunch, Stellan sits at a table, alone, puts his headphones on, and starts eating, the girls walk in and see this. At first, they smile and casually walk to him, but they quickly grow determined looks and start hurrying.]

Clare: [As she pulls into the lead.] "STELLAN!" [...But due to not having her glasses, she runs right into Coach Pacowski.]

[Lia jumps over Clare and pulls ahead, but Zoe slides over a table and cuts Lia off, blinding Lia with her smile again.]

Lia: "Gah, too bright!" [She tumbles backwards and lands in a recycling bin. Ruby chases after Zoe, and grabs a bottle of mustard off a table, she then squeezes it onto the floor, causing Zoe to slip out of control and fall.]

Ruby: "Yeah!"

[Ruby takes the lead, with Linka in hot pursuit. Suddenly, Linka gets an idea, she sees that Boy Jordan is eating spaghetti and meatballs. She quickly takes out a pudding cup and says.]

Linka: "Boy Jordan, I'll trade you my pudding for a meatball." [She zooms right past Jordan, taking the meatball right off his fork, and leaving the pudding before he even knows what happened.] "Thanks." [He just looks at his now empty, fork, wondering what happened just happened. Meanwhile, Linka aims and throws the meatball, hitting Ruby in the back so hard, that she falls over in slow motion.] "What? You said she likes red sauce."

Ruby: "Low blow, woman. This is dry clean only." *Runs off*

[Linka sees that Stellan is ripe for the picking, the last woman standing does a quick victory dance, and goes over. However, right at that moment, Stellan, completely unaware of what just happened right behind him, gets up and leaves, just as Linka suavely sits. Linka sees that Stellan had left and is now bummed out.]

[Later in gym class, the girls have miffed looks on their faces, crossing their arms, not even looking at each other.]

Zoe: "In case anyone's interested, I'm out of the snake formation."

Lia: "Well, I actually left it earlier than you. I just didn't tell you."

Ruby: "The snake formation is officially dead."

Clare: "Fine by me!"

Linka: "Me too!"

[The whistle then blows; They look down at the dodgeballs, then each other. Linka picks one up and is about to throw it, but gets hit by Rusty.]

Rusty: "That's for the meatball!" *gets hit by Zoe* "Ow!"

Zoe: "That's for the mustard!" *gets hit by Lia* "Oof!"

Lia: "That's for blinding me!"

Clare: *throws at Lia but hits Linka instead. * "Take that!"

[They immediately start beating each other up. Coach Pacowski blows her whistle and heads over there to break them up while the other students, including Stellan, watches.]

[Later, they are outside the nurse's office again with ice packs covering where they got hit. Nurse Paty gives the last one to Clare.]

Nurse Paty: "Now how did this happen? I thought you girls had a snake formation."

Ruby: "Those days are over."

Nurse Paty: "Well, that's a shame. I always thought it was so nice the way you all looked out for each other. *walks back into his office*

Linka: *realizing what they've done* "He’s right. What are we doing? Are we really gonna throw away our friendship over a boy?"

Lia: "Well, that ain't what I want."

Clare: *facing the other way* "Me neither. You guys are my support circle."

Zoe: *turns Clyde around* "I honestly don't think I can make new friends at this point."

Linka: "I can't believe we ever let things get this far."

Ruby: "And the crazy thing is, none of this is even our fault! It's Stellan’s! For pitting us against each other!"

[The rest of the girls show their agreement.]

Lia: "I say we go give him the what for right now! Snake formation, fellers?"

[The girls all get up and walk in a line while imitating snake sounds.] [Stellan is at his locker when the girls approach him.]

Linka: "Stellan, we need to talk to you."

Stellan: "Oh, hey guys. What's up?"

Clare: *facing the other way once again. * "Oh, I think you know. We're through with your mind games." [Zoe turns her around.] "Uh, thanks, Linka."

Stellan: *confused* "My what?"

Lia: "Don't act all innocent. You nearly broke up our friendship."

Ruby: "Asking us all out on dates, then making us compete to see who would 'blow you out of the water'."

Stellan: "Blow me out of the water? What are you talking about?"

Linka: "Doesn't matter. We're done. You couldn't choose one of us for a girlfriend, so now you don't get any of us... and we’re not polygamists"

Stella: *laughs* "What? I'm sorry for laughing, it's just... you guys are so off base. I don't want a girlfriend, I just wanted to be friends, with all of you."

Zoe: "Well, why didn't you just say that in the first place?"

Stellan: "Uh, you may recall that every time I walked up to you girls as a group, you acted like total weirdos. That's why I was trying to get to know you one on one, or what you call 'dates'."

Girls: "Ah."

Stellan: "You know, maybe this was a bad idea. It seems like you guys just can't handle being friends with a boy. I'm gonna go hang out with my lab partner, Mro. Johnson." *leaves*

Linka: "Oh, man. We really messed up."

Clare: "It's too bad 'cause Stellan’s really fun. I was hoping he’d teach me how to master the claw machine."

Lia: "Yeah, and I was hoping he’d help me pick out a wig for my me-maw."

Zoe: "And he would've made a great addition to our snake formation. He could've been the rattle."

Linka: "Well, maybe if we go tell him how sorry we are, he’ll give us another chance."

[At lunch, Stellan is eating his sandwich, alone.]

Linka: "Hey, Stellan." [Stellan faces towards the girls.] "We just wanna apologize for how we acted."

Lia: "Yeah, you were right. Just cause you're a feller and we're gals don't mean ya had to be fixin' for a romance."

Ruby: "What we don't know about men, could fill a library."

Linka: "We just hope you can forgive us, because we all really liked hanging out with you, as a friend." [After a brief pause, Stellan returns to his sandwich, in which Linka assumes is a no.] "Um, okay, well, that's cool. I guess we'll just, uh, see you around."

[Stellan looks at them as they sadly leave, when suddenly...]

Stellan: "Hang on." [The girls stop and listen] "Linka, what's in that thermos?"

Linka: "My mom's homemade tomato soup."

Stellan: * ponders* “I’ll trade you my fruit salad for it."

Linka: "Deal!" [Walks over to Stellan, followed by the others.]

Lia: "Hey, uh, how about swapping them there rice cakes for some hush puppies?"

Stellan: "Definitely."

Zoe: "Any chance you'd trade your juice box for a tuna kit?"

Stellan: "Sorry, dude. That's where I draw the line."

[The girls laugh, except for Zoe, who is disappointed at his response; Stellan gestures for the girls to sit with him, and they happily do so.]

Clare: "After lunch, we can work out our new snake formation."

Stellan: "Just wanna throw it out there: have you guys ever considered a scorpion formation?" *Pulls out a diagram of mentioned formatio. .*"It's 22% more effective."

Girls: "Ooh!"

Linka: "We're listening."

[Stellan smiles at this.]

Trivia


 * Yes, there's also cologne for women.
 * Unfortunitly, there was no male version of Mrs. So I invinted one, "Mro."
 * Tip: If you think someone wants to be in a romantic relationship instead of a friendly relationship, try listening for key words and phrases such as “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend.” Or “going on a date”. Otherwise, they just want to be your friend, and hangout.
 * The original was written by Sammie Crowley and Whitney Wetta.
 * Please support the official release.