User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: A Most Dangerous Game

Well, I think it's about time I wrote a story focusing primarily on the main character of the show, yeah? Full disclosure: this fan episode takes place before the events of the latest episode, The Loudest Thanksgiving. Also, any similar themes between this story and that episode are completely coincidental.

...

Boy, my timing on this one wasn't great, huh? Anyway, enough about that. Here is:

A Most Dangerous Game
Plot Summary: Lincoln feels torn between friend and family when both Lori and Ronnie Anne enter the same video game tournament.

Script
[We open in Lincoln’s room, where Lincoln is video chatting with Ronnie Anne.]

Lincoln: So it turned out Clyde and I went through the entire haunted house while those punks who teased us bailed out halfway through. Pretty impressive, huh?

Ronnie Anne: [sneering] Are you sure the reason you guys went through the entire house wasn’t because you couldn’t find the Bail Out door?

[Lincoln blushes, and his eyes shift around the room.]

Lincoln: Y-you can’t prove that.

Ronnie Anne: [snickers] Whatever, Lame-O. [she quickly sobers up] Hey, in more serious news, you free this weekend?

[Lincoln strokes his chin and thinks for a moment.]

Lincoln: I… think so. I’ll have to ask my parents. Why?

Ronnie Anne: One sec.

''[Ronnie Anne ducks out of frame. After a beat, she returns holding a flier showing Muscle Fish.]''

Ronnie Anne: Our local arcade is hosting a big Muscle Fish tournament this weekend, and I’m thinking of signing up. Get this: the winner is going to have a starring role in the upcoming Dream Boat dating sim!

Lincoln: Oh, yeah! I heard about that. It’s made by the same guys who— [he trails off when a thought strikes him] Wait. Why do you want to be in a Dream Boat dating sim?

[Ronnie Anne blushes.]

Ronnie Anne: Well, I, um… [pouts] Shut up, Lame-O. I just wanna kick everyone else’s butt.

Lincoln: [knowingly] Whatever you say, Ronnie Anne.

Ronnie Anne: [groans] Look, the thing is… [her face grows redder as she twiddles her fingers] I’m nervous. I’ve never been in a tournament like this before, and no one in my family really plays video games. I could really use some support from a fellow gamer.

Lincoln: What about your city friends?

''[Ronnie Anne hides her face. After a beat, Lincoln catches on.]''

Lincoln: Wait a minute. They don’t know you like Dream Boat, do they?

Ronnie Anne: [growls] Sh-shut up. I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Lincoln: [sighs] Ronnie Anne, it’s okay. I get it. I’ll see what I can do. [he smirks] And hey. If it makes you feel any better, I watch Dream Boat, too.

[After a beat, Ronnie Anne smiles back and chuckles.]

Ronnie Anne: Yeah, you would, Lame-O. Keep me posted, alright?

Lincoln: Will do. I hope to see you this weekend.

Ronnie Anne: Same. It’d really mean a lot to me. Catch ya later, Lincoln.

''[Lincoln ends the call and closes his laptop. He then checks his calendar.]''

Lincoln: Hmm. Looks like I’m free. I’d better ask Lori if she’s willing to drive me to the city. [he smirks at the audience] Then again, knowing her, she’ll jump at any chance to see Bobby, amiright?

''[Lincoln heads downstairs to see Lori playing video games on the couch. He raises an eyebrow.]''

Lincoln: Uh, hey, Lori. You busy? ''[Lori doesn’t even look at Lincoln. She’s too engrossed in the game.]''

Lori: What does it look like? [grumbles] C’mon, you stupid shrimp.

Lincoln: Prawn.

Lori: [turns to Lincoln] Excuse me?

Lincoln: That’s Punky Prawn. Shreddin’ Shrimp doesn’t come until Level 8.

Lori: [rolls her eyes] Lincoln, I literally don’t have time for this. [she goes back to the game]

Lincoln: This’ll only take a second, I promise.

Lori: [sighs] Fine. [she pauses the game]

Lincoln: So, um…

[Before he can say anything, Lori unpauses the game.]

Lincoln: Hey! I didn’t even get to—

Lori: [curtly] You said it would take a second; I gave you a second.

Lincoln: [facepalms] I didn’t mean literally! What’s so important about that game, anyway? I’ve never seen you play the solo campaign before.

Lori: That’s none of your business.

Lincoln: [sighs] Fine, look. I just wanna know if you can drive me to the city this weekend.

[Lori suddenly pauses the game and turns to Lincoln.]

Lori: You… wanna go to the city this weekend?

Lincoln: Um, yeah. See, there’s this video game tournament going on, and…

[Lori’s expression brightens.]

Lori: Well, why didn’t you say so? Of course you can tag along!

Lincoln: [confused] Wait, tag along?

Lori: Hang on a sec.

''[Lori reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone. She scrolls over to a picture of the Muscle Fish flier Ronnie Anne showed Lincoln earlier and shows it to him.]''

Lori: Bobby sent me this post about that video game tournament you mentioned just today. I’m going to the city to play in it myself. That starring role in the new Dream Boat dating sim is literally as good as mine!

Lincoln: Wait, you’re entering the tournament?!

Lori: [scoffs] Oh, don’t act surprised. I kick your butt in that Muscle Fish game all the time.

Lincoln: [sulks] Not all the time…

[Lori chuckles and rolls her eyes.]

Lori: Anyway, that’s actually why I’ve been playing on my own. I’m training for the tournament. I would’ve asked you to spar with me, but I remembered that you like to check in with Ronnie Anne on Thursdays.

Lincoln: Oh. Huh.

Lori: [smiles] Still, it’s good to know you’ll be in my corner this weekend. That really means a lot to me. You’re a real sweetheart, you know that, Lincoln?

Lincoln: [nervously] Um, well, see…

Lori: [giggles] Oh, don’t be so bashful. I wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true. Hey, now that you’re here, how about we get some rounds in? I could use the practice.

Lincoln: U-uh, yeah. Sure thing.

[He takes a seat next to Lori and grabs a controller.]

Lori: [grins] No holding back, Lincoln. I want you to give me everything you’ve got.

Lincoln: Y-yeah, no problem, Lori. [he gives the camera a pained look] I think I’m in trouble…

***

[That night, Lincoln calls up Clyde on his laptop and tells him everything.]

Clyde: So, both Lori and Ronnie Anne are entering this tournament, and they both asked you to support them?

Lincoln: Yeah, that’s pretty much the long and short of it.

[Clyde sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth.]

Clyde: Sheesh. That sounds pretty rough, buddy.

Lincoln: Believe me, I know. Dr. Lopez wouldn’t happen to have any advice about this, would she?

Clyde: [knitting his brow] It’s never come up, but I might have a suggestion or two. For instance, why don’t you just enter the tournament yourself?

Lincoln: [incredulously] C’mon, Clyde. I may be a fan of Dream Boat, but I’m not that into it. Not like Lori and Ronnie Anne are, anyway.

[Beat]

Clyde: Yeah, the guys and I have been meaning to ask about that ever since the Stella incident. How long have—?

Lincoln: I live in a house with ten sisters who are all big fans of the show. What’s your excuse?

[Clyde blushes.]

Clyde: Right. Let’s get back to the subject at hand. [clears his throat] So, does Lori know that Ronnie Anne’s gonna be competing in this thing?

Lincoln: Not yet, but she’s gonna find out once we get there.

Clyde: And you don’t think you can talk either of them out of this.

Lincoln: [sardonically] Yeah, because that doesn’t have “suspicious” written all over it.

Clyde: Touché. [sighs] Well, I’m out of ideas. Maybe for now, you should just try to support both of them the best you can without letting them know. Who knows? You might get lucky, and one of them will be knocked out the first round. I mean, what’re the chances of both of them making it to the finals, amiright?

[Beat]

Lincoln: [thoughtfully] Well, when you put it that way, it does sound pretty unlikely. [he nods] Alright, I’ll think of something. Good talk, buddy. You always know what to say.

Clyde: Hey, I’ve never steered you wrong before, have I? Good luck out there, Lincoln. I believe in you.

''[Clyde hangs up. Lincoln takes out a notepad and begins scribbling.]''

Lincoln: Alright, Man with the Plan. It’s time to draft up Operation: Support Both Lori and Ronnie Anne Without Letting the Other One Know That You’re Doing So and Also Think Of a Shorter Name For This Operation.

[Beat]

Lincoln: Y’know, saying that out loud just made me realize that this is gonna be easier said than done. Well, that hasn’t stopped me before, and I’m not gonna let it stop me now. Lori and Ronnie Anne are counting on me.

***

''[We cut to the next day. Lincoln is on the couch watching Lori play the solo campaign. Lori’s character is getting beaten up by a smartly-dressed codfish wearing a suit styled after the Union Jack. The codfish lands the finishing blow.]''

Game: Game Over! You’ve been filleted!

Mad Cod: You’ll have to do better than that, my duckies!

Lori: Dang it! This guy is literally impossible to beat!

Lincoln: I think it’s because you don’t main Muscle Fish like I do. You’re not used to his fighting style. Here, let’s go to Versus Mode.

''[Lincoln picks up a controller and starts a match. He picks Mad Cod while Lori chooses an elderly anglerfish character. After fighting for a bit, the anglerfish gets the upper hand. Soon enough, Lori has Lincoln backed into a corner.]''

Mad Cod: Um, ‘ello, guv’na. A-any chance we could talk this over?

[The anglerfish lands a devastating energy attack, frying Mad Cod to a crisp.]

Game: Elder Angler wins!

Elder Angler: Work harder, ya gup!

Lincoln: See? Because you main Elder Angler, you were able to beat me easily.

Lori: Huh. That… actually makes sense. No wonder I was having so much trouble on my own. [she smiles at Lincoln] Guess I’m really lucky that I have a supportive little brother to spar with, huh?

Lincoln: [sheepishly] Heh, yeah… [he suddenly perks up] Oh, shoot! I-I just remembered that I have to check in on something.

Lori: But, what am I supposed to do while you’re gone?

Lincoln: Try the Arcade Mode. That’ll let you play as other characters, and it’s an easy way to learn the entire roster. I’ll be right back.

Lori: Uh, alright then.

''[Lincoln darts upstairs and into his room. He opens his laptop and sees that there’s a call waiting from Ronnie Anne. He quickly answers it.]''

Lincoln: H-hey, Ronnie Anne. Sorry I didn’t call you sooner; I was kinda busy.

Ronnie Anne: [concerned] Uh, okay? You’re still coming this weekend, right?

Lincoln: [forcing a grin] Absolutely. I managed to convince Lori to take me to the city for the tournament.

Ronnie Anne: Really? Sweet! Thank you so much, Lincoln. It’s great to know that you’ve got my back.

Lincoln: [sheepishly] Heh, yep. What’re friends for?

[Ronnie Anne raises an eyebrow.]

Ronnie Anne: You okay there, Lincoln?

Lincoln: [hastily] Fine! Everything’s fine! I-I’m really looking forward to seeing you. I-in person, I mean.

Ronnie Anne: [scoffs and rolls her eyes] You are such a dork. [she then smiles] Anyway, do you know what time you’ll be here?

Lincoln: Uh, I think we’ll be leaving after breakfast, so we should be there at… eleven-ish? Depending on traffic, of course.

Ronnie Anne: Perfect. We can meet at my place and get some practice in before the tournament, and Lori can go get her Bobby fix.

Lincoln: [nervously] Um, yeah. She can… certainly go do that. Listen, I gotta go. See you tomorrow.

Ronnie Anne: [skeptical] You sure you’re okay, Lincoln?

Lincoln: Yeah, I’m fine! J-just excited about the tournament, that’s all! I-I mean, what’s not to get excited about? [chuckles nervously]

[Beat]

Ronnie Anne: [shrugs] Whatever. [she then smiles gently] Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.

Lincoln: Yeah, same. ‘Bye.

''[Lincoln closes his laptop and darts back downstairs. Lori is fighting Mad Cod as Elder Angler, and she seems to be doing a lot better.]''

Lori: You were right, Lincoln. This guy is way easier now that I’m playing with my main guy.

Lincoln: Oh, good. G-glad to hear it.

[Lori hears Lincoln stutter and gives him a look.]

Lori: You okay there, Linc? It looks like something’s bugging you.

Lincoln: What? Pfft, y-you’re probably just imagining things. I’m fine, Lori. Really, I am.

[Beat]

Lori: [shrugs] Well, alright. So, who’s after this Mad Cod guy?

Lincoln: The Arcade Mode pits you against random opponents, with the exception of the Destined Match and the final boss.

Lori: Destined Match?

Lincoln: Yeah, each character has a rival that they’re destined to do battle with. Since you’re playing as Elder Angler, your Destined Match is gonna be against Chai Lin.

Lori: I see. Is he tough?

Lincoln: She. And yeah, she can be pretty tricky. That’s actually the character Ronnie Anne mains, and she beats me with her all… the… time…

''[Lincoln trails off, a pained expression on his face. Lori blinks.]''

Lori: Are you absolutely sure you’re okay?

Lincoln: Yeah, fine. J-just… gotta go take care of some… other business. Keep up the great work; I’ll be right back.

[With that, Lincoln darts into the bathroom and starts hyperventilating.]

Lincoln: [to himself] It’s just a coincidence. No need to get worked up. I can still pull this off.

???: Um, like, do you mind? I’m cleaning in here.

[Lincoln yelps and jumps as he sees Leni cleaning out the sink.]

Lincoln: O-oh, right. Sorry, Leni. I-I’ll just… leave you to it.

[Leni’s face clouds over with concern.]

Leni: You okay, Linky?

Lincoln: Y-yeah, fine. Just… thinking about tomorrow.

[Beat]

Leni: Oh, that’s right. Lori told me you were going to that big video game tournament with her tomorrow. She said she was kinda nervous, but with you and Bobby cheering her on, there’s, like, no way she’s gonna lose.

[Lincoln’s expression suddenly brightens.]

Lincoln: Wait, Bobby! That’s it! Leni, you’re a genius!

[Leni’s face turns bright red.]

Leni: [bashfully] Aw shucks, Linky. We both know I’m not that smart. I don’t even know what I said that was so smart just now.

Lincoln: It doesn’t matter. I’d better let you get back to work. Seeya later.

''[Lincoln dashes into his room, leaving Leni quite bewildered. He then takes out his notepad and scribbles in it.]''

Lincoln: If Bobby’s cheering Lori on in the tournament, then Lori won’t mind if I support Ronnie Anne! And if he’s supporting Ronnie Anne, then she won’t mind if I support Lori! So all I have to do is figure out who Bobby is rooting for, and I’ll be golden! This is perfect!

''[Just then, there’s a knock at the door. Curious, Lincoln opens it to see Lori.]''

Lori: Hey, Linc. Just wanted to thank you again for your help. There is so much about that game that I literally didn’t know about, and it’s great that I’ve got an expert like you on my side.

Lincoln: Um, yeah. No problem, Lori. If you’ve got any questions about Muscle Fish, you can just come to me.

Lori: I’ll keep that in mind. Thanks again.

''[Lori leaves the room. Lincoln looks at his notepad and frowns.]''

Lincoln: Wow. Lori really does need my help, doesn’t she? [beat] I’m sure it’ll be fine. Ronnie Anne’s a master at this game, and she’s super tough, too. I’m sure Bobby can support her just fine. She won’t need my help as badly as Lori does.

***

''[We cut to the next day in the city, just outside the bodega. Ronnie Anne is standing out at the curb checking her watch and tapping her foot.]''

Ronnie Anne: [grumbling] C’mon, Lame-O. You said you’d be here by now.

''[She perks up when she hear a car horn. Turning her head, she sees Vanzilla pull up to the curb. As Lincoln hops out, Bobby emerges from the bodega. He smiles when he sees who it is.]''

Bobby: Hey, Lincoln! Glad you could make it. [he then bows to Lori] And ’tis always a pleasure to see you, milady.

Lori: [giggles] Oh, you charmer, you.

Ronnie Anne: [rolls her eyes] Blech~.

Lincoln: [scoffs] I know, right? [he turns to Lori] Hey, Lori? You mind if I hang out with Ronnie Anne for a bit?

Lori: [raises an eyebrow] Why would I mind?

[Lincoln swallows hard and tugs at his collar.]

Lincoln: I-I don’t know. J-just thought I’d ask.

Lori: [sighs] Lincoln, relax. We have plenty of time. I need to find a place to park, anyway. Let’s meet back here in, say, an hour or so.

Lincoln: Y-yeah, sure. That sounds great. [he gives Lori a thumbs-up]

''[Lori shrugs and drives off to look for a parking space. Ronnie Anne gives Lincoln a look.]''

Ronnie Anne: What was that all about?

Lincoln: Uh, nothing. Don’t worry about it. [clears his throat] So, how about we get some practice in before the big tournament?

Ronnie Anne: Uh, yeah. Of course.

''[Ronnie Anne and Lincoln head inside. Bobby looks on, a concerned frown on his face.]''

***

''[The next scene opens with Ronnie Anne and Lincoln playing Muscle Fish in her room. Lincoln notices that while Ronnie Anne is still a formidable opponent, she’s not the dominating force like she usually is. He starts pulling his punches and loses the round as a result.]''

Game: Chai Lin wins!

Chai Lin: Ahahahaha~! Yaho~!

Lincoln: Phew~. You really got me that time.

''[Ronnie Anne simply sighs and starts a new game. She wins again, but only by the skin of her teeth. She lets out a frustrated growl.]''

Ronnie Anne: Lincoln, c’mon. You’re not that much of a pushover. Don’t hold back.

Lincoln: Um, okay. If you say so.

''[The two of them play another round. This time, Lincoln wins. However, he doesn’t seem too happy about it. Ronnie Anne forces a smile.]''

Ronnie Anne: Huh. I… guess this is the first time you beat me at this game. [she playfully socks Lincoln in the arm] Nice job, Lame-O.

Lincoln: Uh, yeah. B-but you’re still great, too. You’re just nervous. I bet anything that once the tournament starts, nothing’s gonna stand in your way.

Ronnie Anne: [sadly] Yeah. Thanks, I guess. [sighs]

Lincoln: [frowns] Hey. What’s wrong?

[After a beat, Ronnie Anne looks at Lincoln.]

Ronnie Anne: Lincoln, do you think it’s weird that I want to be in a Dream Boat dating sim? Be honest with me. I mean, you know how I feel about…

''[As Ronnie Anne talks, Lincoln stares blankly at her. As her voice drones on, he envisions a miniature devil version of himself appear on his right shoulder.]''

Devil Lincoln: Talk about a great opportunity. Ronnie Anne’s having doubt about the tourney! If you can convince her to drop out, then you’ll only have to worry about supporting Lori! Problem solved!

[A miniature angel version of Lincoln appears on his left shoulder.]

Angel Lincoln: You’re not just gonna hurt her feelings like that, aren’t you? I thought you liked her.

Devil Lincoln: If you really liked her, you’d tell her the truth. It is weird for her to want to be in Dream Boat. Just admit it.

Angel Lincoln: I know you wanna support Lori, man. And honestly, I haven’t figured that part out yet. But you shouldn’t have to hurt Ronnie Anne just to help Lori.

Devil Lincoln: C’mon~. Ronnie Anne’s a tough cookie. She can handle your honest opinion.

Angel Lincoln: You know she’s more complicated than that, Lincoln. Please, don’t hurt her.

''[Lincoln looks between the two manifestations of his conscience. Slowly, the audio fades back to Ronnie Anne talking. When she notices Lincoln’s state, she gets annoyed.]''

Ronnie Anne: Hey! Are you even listening to me?

[Lincoln perks up, and the angel and devil on his shoulders disappear.]

Lincoln: Huh? Oh, yeah. Totally.

Ronnie Anne: So, what do you think?

''[Lincoln bites his lip and furrows his brow, wracking his brain for a moment. Finally he sighs.]''

Lincoln: Honestly, Ronnie Anne, I think it is kinda weird that you wanna be in a Dream Boat dating sim.

[Ronnie Anne hangs her head.]

Ronnie Anne: [glumly] I knew it. Maybe I should just—

Lincoln: [interrupting] But, if that’s really what you want, it doesn’t matter what I think.

[Ronnie Anne perks up and gives Lincoln a bewildered look.]

Ronnie Anne: Huh?

Lincoln: No one has the right to tell you what you should and shouldn’t like, Ronnie Anne. Trust me on this; I’m speaking from experience. If you like both Muscle Fish and Dream Boat, that’s perfectly okay. And you’re gonna be competing against a lot of people who probably feel the same way you do. So there’s no need for you to be embarrassed over it.

[Ronnie Anne slowly smiles and hug Lincoln.]

Ronnie Anne: You may be a dork, but I knew there was a reason I wanted a dork like you in my corner. Thanks, Lincoln.

Lincoln: [returns the embrace] No problem.

[Devil Lincoln reappears on his shoulder, scowling and tapping his foot.]

Devil Lincoln: Way to go, genius. Now you’re back to square one. How’re you gonna support both Ronnie Anne and Lori in the tournament?

[Angel Lincoln reappears on Lincoln’s other shoulder.]

Angel Lincoln: Well, there’s still Bobby. Though I’m not gonna lie: that might not work, either.

Devil Lincoln: So, we’re up a creek, basically.

Angel Lincoln: Whoa now. I never said that. [he turns to Lincoln] Remember, you’re Lincoln Loud, the Man with the Plan. If anyone can find a way to come out on top, it’s you. Keep on rolling, champ. I know you can do it.

''[With that, the two of them disappear. Ronnie Anne releases Lincoln.]''

Ronnie Anne: I think we’ve got time for one more round. Whaddya say?

Lincoln: Huh? Oh, sure.

Ronnie Anne: [smirks] And no holding back this time.

Lincoln: Right. Got it.

[Before they start, they hear a car horn honking outside.]

Lincoln: Oh, whoops. That sounds like Lori. I-I’d better go see what she wants.

Ronnie Anne: Alright then. See ya at the tournament, Lincoln.

Lincoln: Y-yeah, seeya.

''[Lincoln darts out the door, passing by Maria and Frida. Frida pokes her head into Ronnie Anne’s room.]''

Frida: Shouldn’t you follow him, Mija? The tournament is starting soon.

Ronnie Anne: In a minute. I just wanna get one more practice round in.

[Maria and Frida look at each other.]

Maria: Should we tell her?

Frida: Eh, what’s the point? She wouldn’t believe us, anyway.

Ronnie Anne: Believe what?

Maria: Nothing, honey. Have fun at the tournament!

''[Maria and Frida close the door. After a beat, Frida smirks at Maria.]''

Frida: Once she’s gone, I call Punky Prawn.

Maria: [smirks back] Hope you don’t mind getting steamed, Frida.

***

''[We cut to outside the bodega. Lincoln enters the scene to see Lori and Bobby waiting for him. Lori checks her phone.]''

Lori: Bobby, how far did you say the arcade was from here?

Bobby: It’s a good ten minute walk. We’ve got time.

Lori: Yeah, but we’re cutting it pretty close. [she turns to Lincoln] What were you and Ronnie Anne doing up there?

[Lincoln swallows hard and tugs at his collar.]

Lincoln: Um, that’s… personal.

[After a beat, Lori smiles coyly.]

Lori: Fair enough. Just know that you can always count on me if you need relationship advice.

Lincoln: [exasperated] We’re not in a relationship!

Lori: [knowingly] Whatever you say, Lincoln. [she turns to Bobby] Alright, Boo-Boo Bear. Lead the way.

Bobby: Uh, yeah. Of course.

''[As they head for the arcade, Lincoln notices Bobby glancing back at the bodega. Curious, he walks ahead of Lori and strolls up to Bobby.]''

Lincoln: Hey, you okay, man? You’re not neglecting your work to do this, are you?

Bobby: Oh, what? Nah, bro. My abuelo said this was okay. I’m just… worried about Ronnie Anne.

Lincoln: [blinks] Wait, Ronnie Anne?

Bobby: She was really excited about this tournament. I thought we’d all go together, but it looks like she got cold feet.

Lincoln: [shakes his head] That’s not true, actually. I mean, yeah, she’s nervous, but she’ll be along. She just wants to get some practice in first.

Bobby: [smiles] That’s good to hear, bro. I’m glad she can count on you.

[Lincoln’s face turns pale, and he swallows hard.]

Lincoln: Um, yeah. But, she can count on you, too, right?

Bobby: [laughs] Well, of course she can.

Lincoln: And, what about Lori?

Bobby: [sighs whimsically] I would go to the moon for her.

[Beat]

Lincoln: [confused] So… who are you rooting for in the tournament?

Bobby: [raises an eyebrow] What do you mean, Linc?

Lincoln: [dipping his voice] Well, you do know that both Lori and Ronnie Anne are competing in this, right?

Bobby: [totally lost] What’s with the whispering? Are you feeling okay, Lincoln?

Lincoln: [nervously] Um, well…

Lori: Guys, you mind picking up the pace a little? We can’t be late.

''[Lincoln jumps at the sound of Lori’s impatient voice. Bobby nods.]''

Bobby: Almost there, babe. It’s just on the next block.

''[Sure enough, there is a large arcade just across the street with a whole flock of people gathering around. Lori smiles and cracks her knuckles.]''

Lori: Alright. Time to go in and win this thing. C’mon, Lincoln.

''[The three of them move to the crowd. Before they get inside, Lincoln hears someone running up to them. He turns to see that it’s none other than Ronnie Anne. Bobby turns and grins.]''

Bobby: Ah, there you are, Nie Nie! Glad you decided to join us!

[Lincoln notices Lori perking up and panics.]

Lincoln: [hastily] L-let’s just get inside. You still need to sign up and… stuff.

[Before Lori can question Lincoln any further, he shoves her into the crowd, making sure that Ronnie Anne doesn’t see them.]

***

''[Inside the arcade, there is a table set up with a large Muscle Fish banner. Lori and Lincoln take their place in line. As the line moves, Lincoln keeps looking over his shoulder for Bobby and Ronnie Anne. Lori takes note of this.]''

Lori: Sheesh, Lincoln. What’s gotten you all jumpy?  I’m the one competing in this thing, not you.

Lincoln: Huh? Oh, right. Sorry. I-I’m just taking a look at the competition.

Lori: Hmm. So, you see anyone here that might be a challenge?

''[Lincoln looks back to see Ronnie Anne with Bobby further down the line. Ronnie Anne appears to be tense and restless as she fidgets in line. Lincoln gulps.]''

Lincoln: M-maybe one or two people. We’d have to see how they play first. [he turns back to Lori] Are you nervous?

Lori: What, me? Pfft, no. Of course not. [after a beat, she sighs and averts her eyes] Well, okay. Maybe a little. I’ve never done anything like this before, and you’re a bigger gamer than I ever was.

Lincoln: Yeah, but you kick my butt in Muscle Fish all the time.

Lori: Not all the time. Besides, before I heard about this thing, the only time I ever played that game was with you. I literally have no idea what to expect from anyone here. [she sighs and smiles at Lincoln] I really don’t know what I’d do without you here, Lincoln. I seriously owe you big time for doing this.

Lincoln: D-don’t worry about it, Lori. I-I’m just happy to help. [chuckles nervously]

[Lori raises an eyebrow at Lincoln’s behavior, but before she can ask anything, she reaches the signup table.]

Coordinator: Name?

Lori: Oh! Um, Lori Loud.

[The coordinator scribbles Lori’s name onto a name tag and hands it to her.]

Coordinator: You’ll be Contestant #13. Please go stand with the other contestants and wait for your number to be called. Good luck out there.

Lori: Sure thing. C’mon, Lincoln.

Lincoln: [distracted] I’ll… be with you in a minute. I think we lost Bobby in the crowd.

Lori: I’m sure he’s right behind us. C’mon, I don’t wanna lose you in here.

''[Lincoln sees Ronnie Anne approaching the head of the line. His face loses all color.]''

Lincoln: Um, uh…  I-I won’t be lost. I’ll be with Bobby. We’ll both be right behind you, I promise.

[Beat]

Lori: [concerned] Okay, be straight with me, Lincoln. Why are you acting so weird?

Lincoln: Weird? Who’s acting weird? I’m not acting weird.

Lori: [sighs] Lincoln, I know you’re here for me, but I can’t just ignore you if something’s bothering you.

Lincoln: N-nothing’s bothering me, Lori. I’m fine. Like you said, you’re the one competing here, not me. Just go on ahead; I’ll catch up.

[Beat]

Lori: [reluctantly] Fine. But if you’re not here by the time they start calling numbers, I’m coming back for you. You’re more important than a starring role in any dating sim.

Lincoln: G-got it.

[Lori nods and walks off just as Ronnie Anne reaches the signup table.]

Coordinator: Name?

Ronnie Anne: [meekly] Uh, Ronnie Anne Santiago.

[The coordinator scribbles Ronnie Anne’s name onto a name tag and hands it to her.]

Coordinator: You’ll be Contestant #17. Please go stand with the other contestants and wait for your number to be called. Good luck out there.

Ronnie Anne: Th-thanks. [she then spies Lincoln and perks up] Lincoln! There you are!

[Lincoln takes a deep breath to calm his nerves and tries to play it cool.]

Lincoln: H-hey, Ronnie Anne. Just thought I’d get here ahead of you and beat the crowd, y’know?

Ronnie Anne: It’s okay. Bobby told me. So, you really think I’ve got a shot at this?

''[Lincoln looks off to the side and sees Lori lined up with the other contestants. He gulps.]''

Lincoln: Y-yeah, absolutely.

Bobby: [ruffles Ronnie Anne’s hair] You’re gonna be great, Nie Nie. Just relax.

[Ronnie Anne blushes and scowls at Bobby.]

Ronnie Anne: Bobby~! Quit embarrassing me! [she takes a moment to compose herself] Okay. I got this. Wish me luck.

''[She goes off to stand with the other contestants. Lincoln and Bobby follow, though all the while, Bobby gives Lincoln a concerned look. Just then, the MC comes out.]''

MC: Ladies and gentlemen, and gamers of all ages! Welcome to our annual Muscle Fish tournament! I see we have many talented fighters here, but only one will be setting sail for love in our new Dream Boat dating sim!

[Lincoln looks between Lori and Ronnie Anne nervously and swallows hard.]

MC: We will now call out the contestants by number. When you hear your number, follow our escort to your cabinet. Each match will be a best of three, and once you lose a match, you’re out.

''[The MC takes out a hat full of cards and puts his hand into it. He shuffles through it and draws two numbers. Lincoln tenses up and crosses his fingers.]''

Lincoln: [chanting under his breath] Not 13 and 17, not 13 and 17, not 13 and 17…

MC: Contestant #1 and Contestant #13! You’re in Bracket 1!

[Lincoln breathes a sigh of relief.]

Lori: #13. That’s us, Linc! C’mon!

''[Lori takes Lincoln by the hand and follows the staff. Lincoln looks back towards Ronnie Anne, but before he can gauge her reaction, she’s lost in the crowd. He lets out a sigh, and suddenly, Angel Lincoln appears on his shoulder.]''

Angel Lincoln: Don’t give up now, buddy. I believe in you.

[The shoulder angel vanishes, and Lincoln lets out another sigh.]

Lincoln: [muttering under his breath] At least one of us does…

***

''[We cut to a tournament montage. First, we see Lori taking on a valley girl.]''

Lincoln: This is it, Lori! Show her what you’re made of!

[Lori’s character fries the valley girl’s character to a crisp.]

Game: Elder Angler wins!

Valley Girl: For real?! How could you win with that old geezer?!

Lori: [smirks and brushes off her shoulders] Never underestimate someone just because of their age. Isn’t that right, Linc—?

[She soon discovers that Lincoln has disappeared.]

Lori: —coln?

***

''[We then see Lincoln spectating Ronnie Anne’s match against a middle school girl. Ronnie Anne seems to be struggling a bit.]''

Lincoln: Just relax, Ronnie Anne. You can do this. I know you can.

''[Ronnie Anne nods, and with a new surge of confidence, she dominates her opponent. She even manages to land a Have Pity combo.]''

Game: Chai Lin wins!

Middle Schooler: Wow! I’ve never seen someone get a Have Pity combo before!

Ronnie Anne: [shrugs sheepishly] I… don’t know what to tell ya. I get those all the time. Just ask Linc—

[She does a double take when she sees the Lincoln has vanished.]

Ronnie Anne: Uh, never mind. Guess he went to take a leak or something.

***

''[Lori’s next match is against a seventh grader. She’s having difficulty punching through the enemy’s defenses.]''

Lincoln: Focus, Lori. Just wait for your opening.

''[Lori takes a deep breath and concentrates. It isn’t long before her expression brightens.]''

Lori: Quarter-circle back.

Seventh Grader: Quarter-circle wha—?

[Elder Angler uses his Luring Flare to decimate the opponent.]

Game: Elder Angler wins!

Lori: Phew~! These guys certainly aren’t getting any easier, huh, Linc—?

[She spins around when she sees the Lincoln has up and vanished.]

Lori: Literally? Again with this? What are you up to, Lincoln?

***

[Ronnie Anne’s next match is against a punk girl playing as Mad Cod.]

Punk Girl: End of the line, missy! Taste my Mind Scrambler!

Ronnie Anne: [scoffs] That’s what you think!

Lincoln: Yeah! Go, Ronnie Anne~! Go, Ronnie Anne~!

''[Chai Lin weaves around Mad Cod’s beams and lands a series of kicks. Soon, Mad Cod is on his knees reeling from the blows.]''

Mad Cod: Oh. ‘Ello, guv’na. A-any chance we could—?

''[Ronnie Anne doesn’t let him finish. She has Chai Lin kick Mad Cod into a pressure cooker.]''

Game: Chai Lin wins!

Ronnie Anne: Woo~! Man, I’m on fire! You were right, Lincoln! I really feel like I can do—

[She turns to see that Lincoln has vanished once again.]

Ronnie Anne: —this? Geez, Lame-O. What is up with you?

***

''[The rest of the tournament montage continues like this. Lincoln keeps dashing back and forth between Lori’s matches and Ronnie Anne’s matches, supporting them both the best he can. By the end of it all, he is drenched with sweat and gasping for breath.]''

Lincoln: [panting] Okay. Just gotta… keep this up. What’s the… next match?

''[He checks the rankings, and his face loses all color. There is only one match left, and it’s between Lori and Ronnie Anne. Lincoln facepalms and lets out a despondent groan.]''

Lincoln: Dang it, Clyde! You said this wouldn’t happen!

Lori: [offscreen] Lincoln? Where’d you go?

Ronnie Anne: [offscreen] It’s almost time for the finals, Lame-O! I want you to have a front row seat for this!

''[Lincoln whips around to see Lori and Ronnie Anne approaching from opposite directions. In a blind panic, he dashes into the men’s restroom and starts hyperventilating.]''

Lincoln: Oh, whatdoIdo, whatdoIdo?! They’re gonna find out, and they’re gonna be so upset, and—

???: Whoa. Easy, buddy. Take a deep breath.

''[Lincoln yelps and jumps when he feels a firm hand grasp his shoulder. He turns to see Bobby standing behind him.]''

Lincoln: B-Bobby! Wh-what’re you—?

Bobby: I just had to do my business when I saw you come in here. Don’t worry, I already washed my hands. [sighs] Now, how about you calm down and tell me what’s wrong? Don’t think I haven’t noticed you acting all jumpy today.

[Lincoln lets out a sigh of defeat and hangs his head.]

Lincoln: Well, you know how Ronnie Anne and Lori are in this tournament, right?

Bobby: Um, duh. I’d be pretty dumb not to notice.

Lincoln: [sheepishly] Well, I… kinda promised them both that I’d have their backs. I was hoping that one of them would be knocked out before reaching this point, but now they’re going up against each other.

Bobby: Is that why you spent the whole tournament running yourself ragged?

Lincoln: Bobby, you gotta understand. They’re both counting on me. I can’t just pick one of them over the other; it’d really hurt their feelings. I figured I’d ask you who you were rooting for so that I wouldn’t have to worry about them, but you never gave me an answer. [he sighs and hangs his head] And now, I don’t know what I’m gonna do.

''[After a beat, Bobby lets out a small chuckle. Lincoln looks up, confused.]''

Lincoln: Wait, what’s so funny?

Bobby: You really wanna know who I’m rooting for in this tournament?

Lincoln: Uh, yeah. Thought it would’ve been helpful if you told me earl—

Bobby: [interrupting] I’m rooting for both of them.

[Lincoln does a double take.]

Lincoln: Wait, what?! You can do that?!

Bobby: Sure you can! Honestly, I’ve never been good at making decisions like that, but it’s not like this is life or death we’re talking about.

Lincoln: [baffled] I-I don’t understand. How can you just—?

Bobby: Let me ask you this, Lincoln. Who do you want to win? Don’t think about how they feel for now; think about how you feel.

[Lincoln takes a moment to ponder Bobby’s question.]

Lincoln: Well, honestly, I’d be super stoked if either of them won.

Bobby: And I feel the same way. Lincoln, there are gonna be times when you have to pick a side, and I totally get how hard that can be. But this isn’t one of those times. Supporting your friends doesn’t mean you don’t care about your family, and supporting your family doesn’t mean you don’t care about your friends.

[Beat]

Lincoln: I guess that makes sense. But how can I explain that to Lori and Ronnie Anne without them getting mad at me?

Bobby: Trust me, Lincoln. They’re not gonna get mad. Do you honestly believe that Lori would hold a grudge over something like this? I know Ronnie Anne wouldn’t.

[Lincoln thinks for a moment.]

Lincoln: [sheepishly] Yeah, that does sound kinda silly, doesn’t it? Thanks, Bobby.

Bobby: [smirks] What’re bros for? C’mon, let’s go talk to the girls.

''[Lincoln nods and follows Bobby out of the restroom. They see Lori and Ronnie Anne standing outside, looking quite concerned.]''

Lori: Is everything okay, Lincoln?

''[Lincoln looks up at Bobby, who gives him a wink and a thumbs-up. Lincoln sighs and turns to Lori and Ronnie Anne.]''

Lincoln: Guys, I’m sorry I haven’t been completely straight with you two. I… kinda promised you both that I’d support you in the tournament, and I didn’t wanna disappoint either of you. But now it’s the final round, and you’re going up against each other. I can’t keep this a secret anymore.

[Lori and Ronnie Anne look at each other, and then back at Lincoln.]

Ronnie Anne: So, you’ve been rooting for both of us this whole time?

Lincoln: [ashamed] Yeah. I just couldn’t decide between the two of you. And I thought if you didn’t know that you were both in this thing, you wouldn’t figure it out. I’m sorry.

''[After a beat, Lori and Ronnie Anne share a laugh. Lincoln tilts his head in confusion.]''

Lincoln: Huh?

Lori: Did you literally think I didn’t know about Ronnie Anne being in the tournament?

Ronnie Anne: Did you honestly think I didn’t know about Lori being in the tournament?

Lincoln: [baffled] Wait, how did—?

Lori: Bobby told me while you were seeing Ronnie Anne.

Ronnie Anne: And he told me while we were standing on line to sign up.

[Beat]

Lincoln: Oh. Huh. [sighs] Now I just feel dumb.

[Lori kneels down and places a hand on Lincoln’s shoulder.]

Lori: Well, don’t. I think it’s very sweet that you wanted to support both of us.

Ronnie Anne: [snickers] Yeah, you really are a sap, Lame-O. But I guess that’s part of your charm.

Lori: But in the future, it’s okay to talk to us about this kind of thing. Seriously, why would I get mad at you for wanting to help your girlfriend?

Lincoln: [annoyed] She’s not my girlfriend!

Ronnie Anne: [at the same time] I’m not his girlfriend!

Lori: [laughs] Yeah, you two keep telling yourselves that. [she then smiles gently] Lincoln, let’s be real. The stakes aren’t that high. I really do want that lead role, but it’s not the end of the world if I lose.

Ronnie Anne: I feel the same way. [she then smirks at Lori] That doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you, though.

Lori: [sneers back] Likewise, little missy. May the best girl win.

MC: Contestant #13 and Contestant #17, please report to the arena! It is time for the final bout!

Lori: This is it. You feeling better, Lincoln?

[After a beat, Lincoln looks up and smiles.]

Lincoln: Yeah. Good luck, Lori. [he turns to Ronnie Anne] You too, Ronnie Anne.

Ronnie Anne: [scoffs] Luck nothing. We’re both here because you believed in us. And now, we’ll see who’ll set sail for love.

Lori: Indeed. Well, shall we?

***

''[We cut away to the final match. Lori and Ronnie Anne shake hands before gripping the joysticks and choosing their characters.]''

MC: Whoa ho ho~! Looks like we’ve got a Destined Match for the finals, ladies and gentlemen!

''[On the screen, Elder Angler sits meditating while Chai Lin approaches him. He opens his eyes.]''

Elder Angler: After all this time, you swim back to me for guidance. Some things never change, do they, young gup?

Chai Lin: [adopts a fighting stance] I will show you just how much I’ve grown, old man.

Elder Angler: [chuckles hoarsely] I look forward to it. [he springs to his feet, his lure glowing with intensity] Have at thee!

Game: Round 1! Fight!

''[The match begins. Both Lori and Ronnie Anne seem to be evenly matched. Lincoln and Bobby look on with great enthusiasm.]''

Lincoln: Yeah~! Woo~! That’s the way! Keep it up!

[Ronnie Anne suddenly sees an opening and lands a devastating Have Pity combo, which seals her the first win.]

Game: Chai Lin wins!

Lori: Whoa! I’ve literally never seen that before!

Ronnie Anne: I’m not surprised. I doubt Lame-O over here has ever pulled off the Have Pity combo.

Lincoln: Hey!

Ronnie Anne: [shrugs] Just saying.

Game: Round 2! Fight!

''[The match continues. As Lori and Ronnie Anne continue playing, some of Ronnie Anne’s friends appear in the crowd.]''

Nikki: Hey, isn’t that Ronnie Anne? What’s she doing in this tournament? Doesn’t she know that the winner’s gonna be in that Dream Boat dating sim?

Casey: Dudes, you don’t think she actually likes Dream Boat, does she?

Sameer: Huh. Never would’ve thought a girl like her would be into that kinda stuff.

[Ronnie Anne overhears this and gets distracted, allowing Lori to win the second round.]

Game: Elder Angler wins!

Lori: Hey, you okay? You didn’t seem to be on your game.

''[Ronnie Anne rubs her arm sheepishly and looks over at her friends. Bobby catches on and steps forward.]''

Bobby: Don’t sweat it, Nie Nie. I really don’t think your friends are gonna judge you over this.

[Ronnie Anne thinks for a moment before bearing a small, quivering smile.]

Ronnie Anne: I guess not. Besides, it’s not like they have the right to tell me what to like.

Lori: [knowingly] Did Lincoln give you that advice?

[Ronnie Anne looks over to Lincoln, and her smile widens.]

Ronnie Anne: He sure did.

''[Lincoln blushes and smiles sheepishly. Ronnie Anne then turns back to Lori and nods, determination in her eyes.]''

Ronnie Anne: This is for all the fish in the sea. You ready?

Lori: As I’ll ever be. Let’s do this.

Game: Final Round! Fight!

''[Lori and Ronnie Anne get right back into the match. The battle rages on for quite some time, with both of them mashing buttons and sweating buckets.]''

Bobby: You go, girls! Keep it up!

Lincoln: Woo~! Go, Lori~! Go, Ronnie Anne~!

[After a while, Lori spots an opening.]

Lori: Quarter-circle back.

Ronnie Anne: Quarter-circle wha—?

''[Elder Angler launches the Luring Flare at Chai Lin. Much to Lori’s surprise, Ronnie Anne dodges the attack with ease. All is still for a time.]''

Ronnie Anne: No, really. Quarter-circle what?

Lori: [meekly] Quarter-circle dang it.

Ronnie Anne: [smirks] That’s what I thought.

[With that, she lands a devastating Have Pity combo.]

Game: Knockout! Chai Lin wins!

Elder Angler: And now, the student becomes the master. Well done, young gup.

Chai Lin: [bows] It was an honor fighting you again, sensei.

''[Ronnie Anne lets out a huge cheer as she jumps for joy. Lori looks on with a somber smile on her face. She then extends her hand to Ronnie Anne.]''

Lori: Good game.

[Ronnie Anne looks back at the hand for a beat, and then smiles.]

Ronnie Anne: [shakes Lori’s hand] Good game. I see Lincoln trained you well.

[Lincoln breathes a huge sigh of relief while Bobby clasps his shoulder.]

Bobby: See? Nothing to worry about.

***

''[We cut to outside the arcade, when practically everyone has gone home. The MC is shaking Ronnie Anne’s hand while Lincoln, Lori, and Bobby look on.]''

MC: Congratulations, young lady. We’ll be sure to give you the details for your role in the Dream Boat dating sim soon.

Ronnie Anne: Thanks. Seeya soon.

''[The four of them start heading back to the bodega. Ronnie Anne walks up to Lincoln and lets out a chuckle.]''

Ronnie Anne: Man, I never thought I’d get to be in a Dream Boat dating sim. Carlota’s gonna be so jealous.

Bobby: [scoffs] Yeah, and I’m sure Abuelo is going to be gossiping about this for months. You excited, Nie Nie?

Ronnie Anne: Eh, kinda too burnt out to be excited. That tournament really was something.

Lori: [smiles] Well, for what it’s worth, I think you earned that role fair and square. And once we get back to Royal Woods, I’ll be sure to preorder the game.

Ronnie Anne: [blushes] Th-thanks, Lori. [she then turns to Lincoln] And thank you, too, Lincoln. For believing in us.

Lincoln: No problem. You two just mean so much to me. [chuckles nervously] Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do if the stakes were higher.

Lori: Lincoln, trust me on this. They’re never gonna be that high. [she places a hand on Lincoln’s shoulder] Because no matter what, I will always be your big sister, and I’ll always love you. Nothing’s ever gonna change that.

[Lincoln gets all choked up and blushes.]

Lincoln: Aw, shucks. Thanks, Lori.

Ronnie Anne: [playfully slugs Lincoln in the arm] I wouldn’t wanna put you in that position either, Lame-O. Next time, don’t be afraid to talk to me and tell me how you feel. You taught me that, so practice what you preach, yeah?

Lincoln: Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Ronnie Anne. I’ll remember that for next time.

Ronnie Anne: [snickers] Yeah, you’d better. [sighs] Now I just need to figure out how I’m gonna explain this to my friends.

Bobby: I’ll help you think of something. After all, I’ve always got your back, Nie Nie.

''[They reach the bodega just as the sun begins to set. Bobby and Lori give each other a hug goodbye while Ronnie Anne and Lincoln do the same. Lori and Lincoln then hop into Vanzilla and start the long drive back to Royal Woods.]''

Lincoln: Hey, Lori?

Lori: What’s up?

Lincoln: Are you okay? Even though you lost?

[Beat]

Lori: [nods] I’ll be fine. It never feels good to lose, but at the same time, I’m very happy for Ronnie Anne. I’m sure she’s gonna be great in that Dream Boat dating sim. [she then smiles at Lincoln] But thanks for asking. You’ve really got a good heart, Lincoln.

Lincoln: [shrugs and chuckles sheepishly] Well, I try.

''[He then looks out the window and sees Angel Lincoln perched on his shoulder. Angel Lincoln winks at him, and he smiles.]''

The End

Triva

 * I based the design, mannerism, and techniques of the Muscle Fish character Mad Cod off of the Teen Titans villain Mad Mod.
 * The name of Ronnie Anne's character, Chai Lin, is a combination of the word dolphin, the Chinese word for dolphin (pronounced haitún), and the name of the Street Fighter character Chun Li.
 * I might write a story about Ronnie Anne in the Dream Boat dating sim sometime in the future.