User blog:007Jamesdean/Toads and Tiaras (Done My Way)

 It starts with Lincoln and Lola practicing for something.

 [Lola is showing her posture.]

Lincoln:  [on a megaphone]  "Good. And turn..." [Lola turns to the viewers.]  "...and wave." [Lola waves to the viewers.] "More teeth." [Lola gives an oversized grin.]  "Less teeth." [Lola turns it down a bit with a nice pearly white smile.] "Excellent! Keep it up!" [wearing a headband that says "GO LOLA!" on it.]

Me and Varie walk to the Loud House and we see Lincoln helping Lola.

Me: Hey, Lincoln.

Lincoln: Hey J.D, Varie. You might be wondering why I'm helping Lola practice for a beauty contest. Well, tomorrow is the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Pageant, and the winner gets the greatest prize ever: two season passes to Dairyland A-Moo-sement Park! That's one for Lola and one for coach. I've been working my butt off all week to make sure she wins."

 [A montage shows Lincoln prepping up Lola. First, he applies blush onto her face.]

Lola: "AHCHOO!"

 [Her sneeze gets glitter all over Lincoln. Second, she spits out her two front teeth retainer for Lincoln to brush.]

Lincoln:  [grossed out]  "Oh...oh, Gah!"

 [He starts brushing. Third, he irons her dress with his left hand, brushes her hair with his right, and paints her nails with his right foot as she lays in bed in a robe, with cucumbers on her eyes and white bunny slippers. End montage. Lincoln uses a lint catcher as Lola poses.]

Lincoln: "It's been a long, hard road. But once we get to Dairyland, it'll all be worth it."

Me: Boy it sounds like you've been busy.

Varie: I have a feeling that it will all pay off.

Me: I've never been to Dairyland before. It sounds like a really fun place.

Varie: Me neither.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [A frog passes by, and Lana is chasing it .]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Get back here, Hops!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana passes by Lincoln and Lola, unknowingly splashing mud onto them. Lincoln quickly raises Lola to prevent her from getting dirty, causing him to get covered completely in mud. He lowers Lola, as she looks back at Lincoln.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:​ "Lana, watch out! Do you know how hard it is to steam clean chiffon?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Blah blah blah blah blah." [goes back in the house.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [wiping off the mud and reading a book.]  "Okay, Lola, let's move onto your walk. Remember what Gil DeLily says in his best-selling book: "Unlocking Your Inner Pageant Queen", To win the day, you must sashay."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "I know how to walk, Lincoln.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [As she practices her walk, Lincoln notices a loose bottle of hairspray on the ground.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Uh-oh!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lola steps and slips and the rest of the scene plays in slow motion.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" [tries to save Lola but is too late.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola lands on the ground with a nasty thud.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">''Me: (Winces) OOOHH!! That's gonna leave a mark!''

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola starts crying and Varie takes her inside and places her on the sofa.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Rita comes into the living rooms and she sees Lola crying.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Rita: What happened?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: Lola slipped after stepping on a can of hairspray and she hit the concrete.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: [Crying in pain] It hurts!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: What hurts, Lola?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: My arm and leg!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie looks at her left arm and right leg and they are purple and swollen.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">''Varie: Oh yeah. They're broken. This should make the swelling go down.''

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie used her water powers and made the swelling go down.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Ms. Rita can you go get the first aid kit?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">''Rita: Sure. Varie are you a nurse?''

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">''Varie: No but I want to become one. I've been taking lessons from Lisa.''

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Rita: You definitely know what you're doing.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Lisa, can you bring your X-Ray machine?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lisa came with her X-Ray machine and took a picture of Lola's arm and leg.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lisa: [Looks at the X-Ray] It appears to be a hairline fracture in the left ulna of the arm and the right fibula of the leg. She have to have rest for 3 weeks.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: Thank you Lisa.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Rita comes back with the first aid kit and Varie wraps Lolas arm and leg in a cast and takes her up to her room and put her leg in a sling.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: Now you get plenty of rest Lola. Those bones need to heal.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: [Sniffles] Thanks Varie.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: Anytime, Lola.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: I know of a good solution.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">I pull out a special remote control.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: This is a call buzzer, Lola. Now if you need anything just push this red button.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">I press it and it makes a shrill buzz.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: It can be heard anywhere in the house and Mr. Lynn, Ms. Rita or one of your sisters will come to you.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: Thanks J.D.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: You're welcome little princess.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lola is now severely injured and resting in bed.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Okay, minor setback. We can still win this thing."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "Wake up and smell the hairspray, Lincoln. It's over!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [desperate]  "You can't just quit! We worked hard on this!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "There will be other pageants, you know."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [forlorn]  "But not with Dairyland tickets."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "Lincoln, I need my beauty rest. As your pal, Gil DeLily would say, I can't recover if you're going to hover."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln is gathering up all of the pageant supplies.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "I can't believe I learned to French Braid for nothing."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: I'm sorry, Lincoln.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: But Lola's gonna be okay.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana picks up the practice tiara.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Hey, Lincoln. You done with this? I could use the scrap metal for welding."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln takes a look at Lana, gasps with inspiration, and switches her cap out with the tiara. A heavenly image with four comic strip characters as angels tooting horns appears as a choir sings.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Choir: " HALLELUJAH!!! "

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln looks on with hope in his eyes.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Uh...why are you looking at me like that?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lana, how would you like a season pass to Dairyland?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The same heavenly background appears again with Lana gasping with joy.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Choir: " HALLELUJAH!!! "

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [fighting the temptation]  "Don't toy with me, Lincoln!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: [In my head] Oh I see what he's gonna do.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "I'm not! All you have to do is one teensy, tiny, little thing."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [desperate]  "What is it? I'll do anything!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "You just have to take Lola's place in the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Pageant and win."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [nauseated]  "Are you kidding me?! Bleh! Do you know who you're talking to?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [determined]  "Someone who's going to love Dairyland's newest ride..." [shows a pamphlet of the ride]  "...the  Milk Shaker . It's so fast, you can barf, fly around a loop, and get hit in the face with said barf."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Whoa! That's like a NASA Gravity Simulator Centrifuge.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [giving in]  "Darn you, Lincoln! I am in!" [worried with realization]  "But wait. What if Lola finds out? You know what she's capable of."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [An image of Lola looking on demonically with hellfire in the background is shown as a Satanic cultist choir chants. Me, Varie, Lincoln and Lana shudder with terror.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Me: [Gulps in terror] She will kill us if she finds out.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "She won't find out. I promise."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [They shake on it with Lana getting mud on Lincoln's hand.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Bleh. First off, we gotta clean you up. Dirt on your face gets you last place."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln sneaks into the twins' room and takes out one of Lola's dresses. She wakes up.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "What are you doing with that?!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [nervous]  "Oh, this?" [chuckles]  "Just, uh...getting it dry cleaned. You keep healing, sunshine."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln leaves and Lola looks on still suspicious. Lana is now wearing the dress.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "What is this weird sparkly towel?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "It's called a dress, Lana. Now, hold still while I work my magic." [sprays and combs Lana's hair.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Ugh! It smells like princess farts!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: It's supposed to smell like that, Lana.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The spray makes its way over to the twins' room. Lola smells it and heads to the bathroom with a sinister look on her face. She barges in and finds Lincoln with his shirt off and spraying his armpits with the spray.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Oh, hey, Lola! Your hairspray makes a great deodorant. It really covers up that musky man smell."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "Hmm..." [leaves]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln and Lana sigh with relief.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Varie: Whew. That was a close one.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Help me get my arms unstuck."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "You're gonna feel some slight discomfort and..."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana rips Lincoln's arms apart from their pits which makes him scream in agony.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Me: [Winces] Ooh! Ouch!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Varie: Yikes!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln's room]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Laney, Lily and Woody are with us.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">''Laney: I don't know about this guys. If Lola finds out she will destroy us.''

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Woody: Yeah, Lola has a fiery temper.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Don't worry. She won't find out. Time to work on what Gil DeLily calls the Three W's: Walk, Wave, and Work it."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana walks and waves with a smile.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Okay, we're walking, we're waving...but we're just not working it."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana tries posing attractively, but some tools fall out of her dress.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Tools in your dress? Seriously?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Handyman's code, Lincoln. Always be prepared."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: That's true. And a good doctor must know exactly what to do as well.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "You are not a handyman! You are a pageant queen!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [A snow shovel pours out of Lana's dress and Lincoln looks at her disappointed.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "What? It's supposed to snow tonight!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: She's right. I can feel it.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln facepalms. Now they're rehearsing the Q&A portion of the pageant.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [using a hairbrush for a mic]  "Lola, what can a six-year-old do to make the world a better place?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Um..." [starts scratching her butt]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lana, you can't scratch your butt!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "What? It helps me think!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Well, knock it off! Those who scratch lose the match."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The talent portion]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Okay, talent portion. Whatcha got?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana plays a ditty with her armpit.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Me and Varie laugh.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Me: Good one Lana.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Impressive, but I'm gonna pass." [pulls out something from his supplies.]  "How about a ribbon dance? It shows elegance and poise."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [reluctant]  "Excuse me while I go barf."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lana, I'm busting my hump trying to turn you into a pageant queen, and all I'm getting is lip. Do you want those Dairyland tickets or not?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Okay, okay, you're right!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "As Gil says, She who gives 'tude-"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [slaps the book out of his hand.]  "I ALREADY AGREED!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [A training montage commences. Lincoln performs a perfect ribbon dance, but Lana gets tied up in her ribbon. He teaches her how to curtsy, and she lifts her dress up too high. He shows her how to walk elegantly, and she gets the hang of it but trips and regains her composure. She masters curtsying, the three W's, and the ribbon dance. Lincoln is so moved at her improvement and the toys all give her a perfect score.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Whoo-hoo! Lana, look at you! You've done it! You're prim and perfect."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "I never thought I'd say it, but this feels pretty good. I don't even mind the sparkly towel."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me, Varie, Laney, Lily, Woody, Lincoln and Lana: "DAIRYLAND, HERE WE COME!!!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The next day at the pageant, Me, Varie, Laney, Lily, Woody, Lincoln and Lana arrive and Lana is a little worried about the competition.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Whoa. Look at those girls! They're all so clean and sparkly."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: They are so cute.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Well, so are you. You're as good as any of them!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [A cameraman walks by.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> Me: Wow. It's gonna be broadcasted? Neat.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "I didn't know this was going to be on TV. Good thing we don't get the Princess Channel."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Unfortunately, Mr. Loud has just ordered the Princess Channel so that Lola can watch the pageant and is treating her with milk and cookies to make her feel better.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola:  [sweetly grateful]  "Thanks for getting me the Princess Channel, daddy!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lynn Sr.: "No problem, sweetie. It was either that or the Sports Channel. And who needs that, huh?" [walks off lamenting]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The pageant starts]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Donnie: "Welcome to the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Pageant! I'm your host, Donnie Dufresne. Let's meet America's junior sweethearts. Hailing from Royal Woods, Miss Lola Loud!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana waves. Lola spits out her milk in shock and gasps.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "What is going on?!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "I'd like to thank my coach and brother, Lincoln!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln waves to her and the camera.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola:  [furious]  "Lincoln! I should have known!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "And I just want to say it is great to be here!" [belches]  "Sorry you were downwind of that, Donnie." [nudges Donnie's arm]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "THEY'RE RUINING ME! AND THEY WILL PAY!" [lividly limps off to the pageant.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lynn Sr.:  [changing the channel order]  "WOO! Sports Channel, here I come!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">In the audience chairs I sense something.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: [Gasp] I sense a disturbance in the Force!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: What is it?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Laney: Oh no! Has Lola found out?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Yes, she has.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Woody: Oh boy. Here comes trouble.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lily: Oh no. We got to get Lincoln out of here.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana has finished up her introduction and heads backstage.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lana, what were you thinking? Remember what Gil says, If you belch on stage, the judges will rage."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Gil actually has a rhyme for that?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "That's why he's a pageant powerhouse. Now, the evening gown competition is next. If we wanna win those tickets, we cannot afford anymore slip-ups."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana nods in agreement. As she performs her evening gown, she steps on a loose floorboard and stops.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Whoa. Hang on, everybody! Loose floorboard!" [takes out her hammer and nails it back into place.]  "That'll hold. Carry on!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Her opponents condescendingly giggle at her handyman skills.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lana! What was that?! We talked about the tools!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "I couldn't help it! Fixing stuff is what I do!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "You're supposed to be prim and perfect! Now, do you want to go to Dairyland and get hit in the face with your own barf or not? I know you can do this. The interview is next. Go out there and nail it!" [Lana takes out her hammer.]  "Not with that."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The interview portion]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Donnie: "Lola, what can six-year-olds do to eliminate the national debt."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Um..." [prepares to scratch her butt to think.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [frantic]  "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Fortunately, Lana controls herself.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Plenty, Donnie. Just because we're six doesn't mean we can't make a difference."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The audience applauds. Just then, Hops hops out of Lana's dress.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "OH! HOPS!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The frog lands on the judge's desk and Lana lunges at him to get him back, causing a ruckus. Lola has made her way to the pageant hall still enraged.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lana, what is the problem? We went over everything in Gil's book, and the companion DVD, and the podcast! How are you still not getting it?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "I'm sorry, Lincoln. No matter what I do, I can't be prim and perfect like these girls. Maybe there's something wrong with me." [starts to feel bad about herself to the point where she'll cry.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Hops hops on top of her and looks on at Lincoln, ashamed of his behavior and intention. Lincoln realizes his follies.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lana! Wait. There's nothing wrong with you. I'm the one who messed up. I got so caught up in winning those tickets, I turned into Gil DeLily...who, when you stop to think about it, probably needs to get a life."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Yeah, but still, why can't I be like them?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">___________________________________________________________________________

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Now's our chance to warn Lincoln. Come on.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me, Varie, Laney, Woody and Lily sneak into the backstage.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Because you're you. You're messy and muddy and keep a lot of reptiles in your pants. But that's what makes you awesome. And I was crazy to try and change you."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [hugs her brother in forgiveness]  "Aw...thanks, Lincoln."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Donnie: "Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Lola Loud and her fabulous ribbon dance!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Well, that's me. I'll do my best."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Forget the ribbon dance. Why don't you go do your own talent?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Really? Okay, but we can kiss those Dairyland tickets goodbye."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "I don't care about them anymore. Go be yourself."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana takes off her prim and perfect outfit and returns to her own appearance, ready to take the stage.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me, Varie, Laney, Woody and Lily arrive.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Lincoln you're in grave danger. Lola is coming.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: What? How do you know.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: The Force told me.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lola barges in and looks for Lincoln. Lana is on stage with Hops.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Yo, Hops! Give me a bassline!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Hops starts croaking and Lana starts doing a little jam while snapping her fingers, doing fart noises and scratching her butt.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: Come on, we got to get out of here Lincoln.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">But it was too late.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola:  [grabs him and holds Lincoln against the wall with her crutch.]  "AND THIS IS YOUR  OTHER  SISTER!!!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Wait! It's my fault, not Lana's! It was all my idea!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana finishes her talent act and the crowd goes wild.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "I have worked four years to build my pageant reputation! AND YOU JUST RUINED IT!!!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Laney: Lola, calm down.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Lola! Listen!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Donnie: "And the winner is...Lola Loud!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "Whoo-hoo!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lola smiles in amazement. Lana comes in with the victory tiara on her head and sees her twin.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [gasps]  "Lola! I'm so sorry I pretended to be you! Please don't be mad at me!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "I don't like what you did, but you did win. And I respect a winner."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lana hugs her in relief.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana:  [takes the tiara off]  "I think this belongs to you."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: "No. You earned it. You both did. And the Dairyland tickets."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Lincoln and Lana both look on in awe at Lola's magnanimous gesture with the heavenly image once again accompanying this triumph.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Choir: " HALLELUJAH!!! HALLELUJAH!!! "

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me, Varie, Laney, Lily, Woody, Lincoln and Lana:  [hug each other]  "WE'RE GOING TO DAIRYLAND!!!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">The doors opened and a snowflake and a little flickering flame came in and they fly backstage. The snowflake landed on Lana and the flame landed on Lola and they glowed. Lana was in a tornado made of snow and ice and Lola was in a tornado of pure fire. Lola's injuries were being healed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: What's going on?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Laney: Another choosing process is happening.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">The tornadoes died down and Lana got up first.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: Whoa. What happened? I feel weird.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Laney: Lana this is what happened to Lori and Lily. A snowflake touched you and you were in a tornado of snow and ice.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: What? Let me see here. [Lana then threw a blast of snow and the wall became frozen in ice]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: Wha? I have Ice Powers!? Awesome!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Let me check here.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">I check my Legends book and find something interesting.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Lana you've gotten Ice powers because of the Snowflake of Khione, the Goddess of Snow in Greek Myth. Once every 500 years, Khione sends a snowflake that is imbued with her powers and winged flight and a worthy soul is chosen by the purity of their hearts.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: Neat!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola got up next.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: What hit me? [Sees that her arm and leg are healed] I'm all healed up. But I feel weird.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola touched the wood floor and they saw smoke coming from her hand.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lily: [gasp] Lola, you're burning the floor!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola saw this and she saw a black burned handprint on the floor.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: What's happened!?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Laney: Lola you went through the same thing as Lori and Lily. A small flame touched you and you were in a tornado of fire.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: What? Are you sure, Laney?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Laney: I'm positive.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: Let me see. [Holds out her hand and a fireball is shot out at the wall and it sets it on fire and Lily extinguishes it with her water powers]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Woody: Whoa! That is hot!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: [Gasps] I have Fire Powers!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Varie: It appears you do.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">I look through my book.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Lola, you got fire powers because of the Flame of Gabija, the spirit of Fire in Lithuanian Mythology. It says that once every 750 years, a person that has intense rage and a massive fire burning inside their heart will be chosen and be imbued with the powers of fire as well as winged flight.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola: This is so weird. But how will I explain this to everyone back home?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Laney: We'll think of something. But Lana, Lola, the key to controling your new powers is love. It worked for me, Lori and Lily and it can work for you both as well.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Come on guys, lets go to Dairyland.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [Dairyland. Me, Varie, Laney, Lily, Lincoln and Lana are getting on the Milk Shaker.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Woody couldn't go because there was a height limit.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln:  [to the viewers]  "Well, I've learned two very valuable lessons. One: You should never try to turn someone into something they're not. And two: If you ever ride the Milk Shaker, keep your mouth closed."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: True to that.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;"> [The ride starts and everyone on it gets green around the gills and Lincoln throws up and gets hit by his own barf.]

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lana: "Awesome!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Me: Oh, Yuck!

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lincoln: "My mouth was open!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">THE END

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">________________________________________________________________________

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Another Fanfiction completed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Lola and Lana now have powers too.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">I have some more things planned and I hope you like them.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:Molengo,sans-serif;font-size:14.000000953674316px;">Until next time this is J.D. signing off.