User blog:Ianj1997/Get The Message (My version)

(Start with some video game sound effects; Lincoln and Ian are playing a VR game where you fight zombies with breakdancing.)

Lincoln: Take that, zombie! (twerks) Feel my twerk, you evil jerk! (killing zombies;does a pelvic thrust.) HOO!

Ian:(does the Superman punch) Face my Superman punch! (killing a zombie with my Superman punch) YES!

(Lincoln and Ian continues. We go upstairs;spilts up with Lincoln went to the left and Ian went to the right of the hallway and Lincoln does more moves in the hallway where he then enters one particular room.)

Lori: LINCOLN!

(Lincoln takes the goggles off and sees Lori making an angry face at him.)

Lincoln: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Lori: There's only one rule in this house: Stay out of my bedroom! (threatning) If I catch you in here again, I will literally turn you a human pretzel! (on the phone) No, not you, Bobbbbby. (giggles) One sec, okay?

(Ian was still playing his VR game when Lori kicks Lincoln out of her room;gets bumped.)

Ian: OW! (takes off goggles) Lincoln, who kicked you out?

Lincoln: Lori did it!

Ian:(shocked) What! (gets angry) Lori! Why did you pick someone your own sides, huh? (To Lincoln) Way harsh, Lincoln.

Lincoln: I know.

Ian: I'm gonna stop playing this game because, I need a break from that game.

Lincoln: Okay. (puts his goggles back on and continues to dance the zombies away.) OH, YEAH! (goes into the bathroom while Ian walks away. He realizes what he's doing in there.) Zombies don't need to see this. (takes the goggles off and sets them on the sink. Then heard a knock.) Occupied! (Then another knock then turns into a pounding.) I can't believe some...(answers the door to see Lori is there.)

Lori:(on the phone) Bobby, you'll never guess what Whitney said to me today.

Lincoln:(rhetorically) That you don't respect a man's privacy?

(Lori ignores Lincoln and kicks him out.)

Lori: No, silly! Not even. She was all like...

(Lincoln goes to his room and realizes something.)

Lincoln: Oh no! My gaming glasses! (rushes to the bathroom but it stopped by Lola and Lana who are dressed in some kind of authority attire.)

Lana: No running in the hallway!

Lincoln: Huh? What are you talking about?

Lola: Lana, is this maggot giving you lips? (writes Lincoln up)

Lana: We're the new hall monitors at school, so we're practicing at home.

(They give Lincoln a ticket.)

Lola: If we catch you speeding again, you're going downtown! We already locked up Luan for telling bad jokes. (reveals Luan in a cardboard jail cell.)

Luan: Hey! Did you hear the one about the thief who stole a calendar? He got twelve months! (laughs to rimshot) Get it?

Lola: That's five more minutes, dirt bag!

Lincoln: Okay, okay. I'll walk within the speed limit. I swear.

Lana: NO SWEARING!

(As they leave for their room/office, Lincoln goes to the bathroom to find that his goggles are now totaled.)

Lincoln: Someone stepped on my glasses! NOOOOOO!!!

(Ian arrives with Mountain Dew.)

Ian: What's going on here? (sees his goggles broken;gasp) What happened to your goggles?

Lincoln: It's broken and I know who did it...(blames her and sees that she left in the family van.;enraged) LORI! YOU DIRT BAG!

(Later, Clyde is being told the story of the incident.

Lincoln: One minute I'm electric-sliding with the undead, and the next...(groans) IT"S ALL LORI"S FAULT!

Ian: YEAH!

Clyde:(holding the goggles) I can't believe it!

Lincoln: I know! She didn't even say sorry!

Clyde:(lovestruck) No. I can't believe these were touched by Lori's beautiful tootsies...(cradles the glasses)

Lincoln: Snap out of it, Clyde! Lori's a monster! All she cares about is talking on her stupid phone! Well, I'm going to give her a call she'll never forget...

Clyde: What are you gonna say?

Ian: Yeah, what are you gonna say that?

(Lincoln looks in his drawer and pulls out a sheet of paper and shows it to Clyde and Ian.)

Clyde: Why 'blank' is the worst sister ever?

Lincoln:(evilly) I knew this would come in handy someday. I just didn't know which sister would be getting it. (writes Lori's name in the blank.) But you, Lori Loud, have made my decision very easy. (dials Lori's phonw number on his duck phone.)

(While Lincoln is waiting, Luna is jamming and riffs to the last note of Lori's ringtone.)

Lincoln:(impatient) Agh! Must be charginf her phone. No worries. I'll just leave it on her voicemail.

Voicemail: Hey, this is Lori. You know what to do.

(Beep)

Lincoln: Hey, Lori. It's your dear brother, Lincoln. There's something I've been meaning to tell you. You are...(goes into a blindingly raginf rant about Lori; Luna comes into his room and rocks out to censor the harsh and foul message for any profanity it may contain, all the while Clyde watches in despair as his dream girl is getting roasted and Ian was watching in shocked while drinking Mountain Dew;finishing up) AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE THE WORST SISTER EVER!!! (hangs up) What do you think, guys?

Ian: Uh, well...

Lincoln: Don't worry, Ian. (Clyde faints;enter Lori)

Lori: Hey, bro. I just wanna say I'm so sorry I stepped on your stupid toy. So I went out and bought you a stupid new one.

(Lincoln and Ian are shocked at her generosity)

Lincoln: You did what now?

Lori:(hands him a new glasses) Also, I'm very impressed you didn't freak out over this. Very mature.

Lincoln:(nervously chuckles) Yep. That's me. Mr. Mature.

Ian:(akwardly) Right.

TBC