Thread:TheEyeOfAllEyes/@comment-31595317-20170701225430/@comment-5455120-20170703013055

Me: "Time to work on what Gil DeLily calls the Three W's: Walk, Wave, and WORK IT."

[Lana walks and waves with a smile]

Lincoln: "Okay, we're walking, we're waving..."

Me: "Hmmm, but I don't think we're working it."

[Lana tries posing attractively, but some tools fall out of her dress]

Me: "What in the..."

Lincoln: "Tools in your dress? Seriously?"

Lana: "Handyman's code, guys. Always be prepared."

Lincoln: "You are not a handyman! You are a pageant queen!"

[A snow shovel pours out of Lana's dress and Lincoln looks at her disappointed]

Lana: "What? It's supposed to snow tonight!"

[Lincoln facepalms.]

Me: Does it look like it's going to snow out there?

[Now they're rehearsing the Q&A portion of the pageant.]

Lincoln: [using a hairbrush for a mic] "Lola, what can a six-year-old do to make the world a better place?"

Lana: "Um..." [starts scratching her butt]

Me: "Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, Lana, you can't scratch your butt!"

Lana: "What? It helps me think!"

Lincoln: "Well, knock it off!

Me: As Gil DeLily would say, Those who scratch lose the match."

[The talent portion]

Lincoln; "Okay, talent portion. Whatcha got?"

[Lana plays a ditty with her armpit]

Lincoln: "Impressive, but I'm gonna pass."

Me: "Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that too."

Lincoln: [pulls out something from his supplies] "How about a ribbon dance? It shows elegance and poise."

Lana: [reluctant] "Excuse me while I go barf."

Lincoln: "Lana, we're busting our humps trying to turn you into a pageant queen, and all we're getting is lip."

Me: "Do you want those Dairyland tickets or not?"

Lana: "Okay, okay, you're right!"

Me: "As Gil DeLily would say, She who gives 'tude-"

Lana: [slaps the book out of his hand] "I ALREADY AGREED!"

Me: Okay okay!!!

[A training montage commences. Lincoln performs a perfect ribbon dance, but Lana gets tied up in her ribbon. Ray teaches her how to curtsy, and she lifts her dress up too high. Lincoln shows her how to walk elegantly, and she gets the hang of it but trips and regains her composure. She masters curtsying, the three W's, and the ribbon dance. Lincoln and Ray were so moved at her improvement and the toys all give her a perfect score.]

Lincoln: "Whoo-hoo! Lana, look at you! You've done it!"

Me: "Well done Lana, You're prim and perfect."

Lana: "I never thought I'd say it, but this feels pretty good. I don't even mind the sparkly towel."

Me, Lincoln, and Lana: "DAIRYLAND, HERE WE COME!!!"