User blog:CboyC95/Death Star Contractors

Luna: Yo, dude. What’s your favorite Star Wars movie?

Joshua: Empire.

Luna: Blasphemy.

Joshua: What? I thought it had the better ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, finds out Vader is his father, Han gets frozen and taken away by Boba Fett and the whole thing ends on such a down note. I mean, that’s what life is. A series of down endings. All Jedi got was a bunch of muppets.

Luna: You know, there was something else going on in Jedi. I never noticed it until today. So they build another death star, right?

Joshua: Yeah.

Luna: Now the first one was completed and fully operational when it blew up by the Rebels.

Joshua: Luke blew it up. Give credit where credit is due.

Luna: And the second one was still being built when it blew up.

Joshua: Compliments to Lando Calrissian.

Luna: There was something off about that second time around. I don’t know what, but something just wasn’t right.

Joshua: Like what?

Luna: So the death star was manned by the Imperial army. The only people on board were stormtroopers, dignitaries, imperials.

Joshua: Basically.

Luna: So when it blew up, no problem. Evil’s punished.

Joshua: What about the second time?

Luna: The second time around it wasn’t done being built yet. It was still under construction.

Joshua: So?

Luna: So a construction job of that magnitude would require a heck of a lot more manpower than what the Imperial army had to offer. You know what I think? I bet they bought independent contractors to work on that thing. You know, plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.

Joshua: And not just imperials. Is that what you’re trying to get?

Luna: Exactly. In order to get it done quickly and quietly they hire anybody that can do the job. I mean, do you think some stormtrooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is shooting things in white uniforms.

Joshua: Okay, so they hired independent contractors. What does that have to do with the second death star being blown up?

Luna: All those innocent contractors bought in to do the job were killed. Just casualties of a war they had nothing to do with.

(Joshua raised a confused eyebrow)

Luna: Alright, look. You’re a roofer. Some shady looking dudes offer some juicy contract your way, you got a wife and kids, and two-story house in suburbia, but this is a government contract which means all sorts of benefits. Then along came these rebel type dudes shootin’ up everything in a three mile radius with their lasers. You didn’t asked for that. You had no part in this. You were just trying to work a living.

Man: Sorry. Didn’t mean to interrupt but, what were you kids talking about?

Luna: The ending in Return of the Jedi.

Joshua: My friend was telling me that the people who were working on the second death star, were independent contractors when it was destroyed by the Rebels.

Man: Well I’m a contractor myself. I’m a roofer. Carl Vinoci. Carl Vinoci Home Improvements. And speaking from experience, I can tell you that a roofer’s personal politics comes into play very heavily when choosing jobs.

Luna: Like when?

Man: A few weeks ago I was offered a job in the hills, beautiful house, tons of property, a simple re-shingling job. They told me that if I can finish it in one day, they’d double my pay. But that’s when I realize whose house it was?

Joshua: Who?

Man: Dominic Bambino’s.

Luna: Wait. “Babyface” Bambino? The gangster?

Man: The same. The money was right, but the risk was too high. I knew who he was, and based on that, I turned the job over to a friend of mine.

Joshua: Based on personal politics.

Man: Right. And then the next week, the Furessi family put a hit on Babyface’s house. My friend was shot and killed. Didn’t even finished re-shingling.

Luna: No way. Man: The reason I’m alive was because I knew the risk involved in that particular client. My friend however, wasn’t so lucky. Any contractor working on that death star knew the risk involved. If they got killed, that’s their own fault. A roofer listens to this. (taps his heart) Not his wallet.