Teachers' Union/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Teachers' Union".

''[The episode begins with Girl Jordan screaming, getting nailed in the face by a dodgeball, and collapsing. Penelope runs by Lincoln and Clyde and gets nailed too, followed by Zach, then Andrew, then Liam]'' Lincoln: [To Clyde] "Man, I hate gym class." [Gets nailed] Clyde: "And the worst part is, class hasn't even started yet." [Gets nailed into his underwear, and winds up lying on the floor with his fellow classmates] Coach Pacowski: [Blows his whistle] "Okay, now that you're warmed up, let's begin." Zach: "Coach, any chance we can play with the parachute today?" [Pacowski nails him with another dodge ball for that statement] Rusty: "I don't think he heard you, Zack.[Slyly] Ask him again." [Gets nailed as well] Coach Pacowski: [Blows his whistle] "Line up! [Everyone lines up] Today you'll be running the obstacle course." [Jestures to an army style obstacle course] Girl Jordan: [Nervous] "Is it legal to have barbed wire in school?" Coach Pacowski: "You're first, Miss Mouthy." ''[Blows his whistle again, and everyone starts. Everyone finds themselves in a really painful situation]'' Rusty: [Falling down the rope] "Rope burn!" Coach Pacowski: "Suck it up, Spokes! No one leaves until each and every one of you runts finishes this course!" ''[Mrs. Johnson appears in the doorway]'' Mrs. Johnson: "Good morning, Coach Pacowski." Coach Pacowski: [Realizing that Mrs. Johnson was there] "Uh, why-uh, he-, hello, [tips his hat] Mrs. Johnson." ''[Slips over a dodgeball, tries to pick himself back up using the cart, but it rolls out from under his arm and he falls over again. He sits up, watches Mrs. Johnson leave, and is now in a trance, the students approach him]'' Girl Jordan: "Coach, can we stop? My toenail fell off." Coach Pacowski: [Still in a trance] "Huh? Yeah, sure, class dismissed, you all get A's."

[At the locker hallway] Rusty Spokes: "Can someone open my locker? [With bandages on his hands] My rope burn is serious. [Clyde opens it} Zach: "Man! Gym class was brutal today." Girl Jordan: "Yeah, good thing Mrs. Johnson came by before we got to the barbed wire." [Shudders in fear] Liam: "Coach sure is sweet on her hiney." Clyde: "Can you imagine if Coach and Mrs. Johnson were a couple, gym class would be way less painful." Zach: "It'd be non-stop parachute time!" Lincoln: "Hmm, [Gets an idea] I think you guys are onto something, what if we could make them a couple?" Liam: "Now how in tarnation would we do that?" Lincoln: [Determined] "Leave it to me."

Coach Pacowski: "Well, you're talking to the Royal Woods mini-golf king." Nurse Patty: "Well, you're talking to the Royal Woods mini-golf queen."