User blog:Gumball2/"My Sister Leni"

Original Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12318310/1/My-Sister-Leni

Chapter 1: Smile Wide

Snap.

Rita tapped the camera's button. The screen on the back documented her two oldest daughters dressed up for the first day of the new school year. Lori was smiling with the fancy new blue dress her mom had bought her just last week; she looked forward to wearing the best clothes in her first grade class photo. Standing to her left was Leni, one of her four little sisters. Unlike Lori, she was wearing a turquoise hand-me-down dress. Although it had been cleaned and pressed, Lori was still disgusted by how gross that thing looked on herself, preferring to passed it on her little sister. But their differences didn't stop at clothing. Leni was looking away from the camera, her eyes wandered aimlessly, and her mouth lacked any form of tangible expression.

"No! No! No!" Lori exclaimed, grabbing Leni's head and jerking it towards the lens, "Leni! How many times do I have to tell you that you have to look into the c-can-camera! You make me look bad! You ruin the whole picture!"

"Lori, that's not nice!" Rita said, frowning at her oldest child, "Now tell Leni you're sorry."

"But she always does this!" Lori said, pointing to her sister "Every time we take-"

"Lori!"

Realizing it was a losing battle, Lori sighed.

"I'm sorry," she stated, clearly annoyed. Leni darted her eyes before resting on her big sister; her mouth hung slightly open. She raised her fingers to her chin and hunched herself forward, but nothing came out.

"Leni," Rita said gently, "what do you say?"

The younger sister stood there for a moment, her mouth frozen in place. Lori was tensing up with every second that the silence went on.

"It...I-it's okay Lori," she eventually said. She then awkwardly raised her arms and walked towards her big sister. Lori played along and hugged her sister, smiling in the process.

O"Smile," Rita said, raising the camera and snapping it, capturing the pleasant moment. Even Leni, enjoying the warmth of Lori's hug, found her lips slipping into a cheery grin. Rita loved it when that happened.

"Alright," Rita said, putting the camera away, "Now, let's get you two to school."

She went into the kitchen and gave each of them a lunch bag, which seemed more like a miniature backpack than those old-fashioned metal boxes. She then handed the girls their backpacks. Lori, who had a year of experience with the object, slipped on the pack with ease. She then turned to see Leni, who had been staring intently at her.

"If only you did that a minute ago."

Leni got the pack on fairly easily despite a little struggle at the start. The three then said goodbye to Daddy, who was tending to the three youngest girls. They then headed into Vanzilla and drove off.

Lori twiddled her thumbs, excited to impress her classmates. But in the corner of her eye, she saw Leni fixated on her. She hoped her little would stop, but those eyes never broke their gaze.

"Mom! Leni's staring at me!" Lori whined.

Rita looked into the central mirror and saw the familiar scene playing out.

"Lori," she said as she reached a red light, "why don't you tell Leni what kindergarten is gonna be like? I'm sure Leni would really like that."

Lori turned to her sister, brows furrowed. Leni wasn't smiling or copying her expression; she was just sitting there, looking right through her. Lori breathed in and opened her mouth.

"There will be a lot of new kids and games and stuff," she said, her voice gradually getting lighter and less rigid, "you will like it. You will get to talk more and play more. And you will be less weird."

"Lori!"

She sighed, "You will make more friends. Other than me."

Rather than easing off, Leni continued to stare at Lori. The latter wasn't sure if the former was even paying attention to what she was saying. Whenever that happened, it creeped Lori out.

"Doesn't that sound fun, Leni?" Rita asked, noticing the elementary school inching closer. For a moment, the only sound she could hear was the car's tires pressing themselves against the road.

"Yes..." Leni said, breaking away from Lori to look out the window on the other side of the car, "...fun..."

The car then turned into the parking lot. Rita found a nice empty spot pretty close to the main entrance of Royal Woods Elementary.

"Okie dokie," Rita said, turning off the car and getting out, "Let's head on in."

Lori started walking towards the school, holding Leni's hand. Meanwhile, Rita was walking alongside them.

"Mom!" Lori said, stopping. Leni clumsily halted her own feet, coming just short of bumping into her sister, "I can walk in all by myself! Why are you walking with me?"

"It's Leni's first day, honey," Rita said,smiling and placing a hand on Lori's shoulder, "I have to talk to Mrs. Egan. Don't you remember your first day of kindergarten when I talked to her?"

It was blurry. Lori fished around, hoping to find that memory lingering around. But she recalled no such happening. She had thought she had just gone in on the first day, only to have the wonderful games and new friends outshine any of the more trivial facts.

"If Mom said she did, I guess she did."

"Okay," Lori said. She then marched on, pulling Leni's arm, "Let's go in!"

Rita followed behind as they entered the school. The lobby was decorated with banners, crayon drawings, and construction paper stars decorating the walls. Lori smiled upon seeing how lively and clean the space was on that day.

Rita escorted both of them to Mrs. Turner's room, which was a considerable walk away from the kindergarten wing. The three of them entered the room, where some of Lori's classmates were already seated.

"Bye Mom!" Lori said, hugging her.

"Bye honey," Rita replied, hugging her back, "And what do you say to Leni?"

Lori broke from her Mom and turned to her sister.

"Goodbye Leni," she said, wrapping her arms around her sister. Leni's eyes shot open, astonished at the sudden gesture. But then, she smiled and hugged Lori intensely. With every second of squeezing, Leni's smile grew.

"Too...tight..." Lori said, fighting for air, "...Leni...stop"

Leni jerked her arms away, allowing Lori to cringe forward. Lori gasped, trying to regain her composure.

"I'm sorry," Leni said, offering to hug again.

"N-No don't," she said, puffing. By then, Lori had her breath again. She stood straight up, embarrassed at what she just said, "I-it's okay. Just don't hug so tight. Okay?"

Leni stood there, stone-faced. The coarsing rapids of joy that fueled her hug were completely dried out, leaving no traces behind.

With that, Lori walked into the door. Leni stared into the room, watching the older kids playing and talking.

"That's where Lori will be this year," Rita said, kneeling down to Leni's level, "Next year, that's where you will be."

She then stood up and grabbed Leni's hand.

"Now let's go see Mrs. Egan."

The two of them started walking. Leni turned her head back, keeping her eyes on the door to Mrs. Turner's room.

"Okay," Leni said. She gave one last look at the receding door and then turned back to the direction she and Rita were headed.

The walls of the kindergarten wing were lined with even more decorations than the lobby. Streamers, posters, drawings, paintings, and other spectacles that were meant to excite its students. But Leni's blank face never was unaffected. Rita kept looking back at her second daughter, noticing that her eyes were fixated in one direction.

Eventually they reached Mrs. Egan's door at the end of the hall. Behind that door was everything that could have been expected from a kindergarten classroom: a cubby board for backpacks and lunch bags, circular tables, toys, books, sleeping mats, and a decent amount of open space.

"Good morning," a woman said cheerfully as the two entered. Her smile was white and glowing. Her short brown hair had narrow bangs on the end that gently touched the collar of her white sweater.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Mrs. Loud." She then kneeled down to the little girl's level.

"Hi," she said with an even bigger smile, "You must be Leni. My name is Mrs. Egan and I am going to be your teacher and friend."

Leni stood still, if awkwardly. Her head was up, but her eyes were not focused on the new face.

"Not much of a talker, huh?" Mrs. Egan said, chuckling a little, "Well there's a lot of kids in here that want to be your friend. This year will be a lot of fun!"

Rita smiled at the interaction.

"Mrs. Egan," the mother said, "Can I talk to you for a few minutes about Leni?"

"Yes," Mrs. Egan said. She then looked down, "Leni, why don't you go meet some of the other kids?" She said, turning to them; they were mostly on the ground playing with toys.

At first, Leni was frozen. She was nervous and she tugged at her Mom's leg.

"It's okay Leni. Go play," Rita said, giving her daughter a reassuring smile.

With that little push, Leni slowly walked over to the others; her arms and hands are bent inward to her chest. The first one she wandered to was a girl with auburn hair in a ponytail. She had a Barbie doll, brushing it's lush blonde hair. Noticing Leni approaching caused her to look up.

"Hi!" she said, "my name is Liliana. What's your name?"

The two stared at each other. The silence was suffocating.

"...Uh...Leni," she finally said, "Leni...Loud."

"Well..." Liliana said, "do you wanna play with me?"

Leni turned to the toy shelves and saw the different things that could be used. Without warning, she stumbled her way over to the shelf and pulled out a white plush dog. Hugging the dog, she made her way back to Liliana.

Liliana continued to brush the doll's hair, occasionally looking back up at her new acquaintance. Leni's eyes were closed, she was smiling, and her entire focus was on embracing the stuffed animal.

"So, do you have any Barbie dolls?" Liliana asked, grinning.

Nothing. Leni seemed to be in a bubble.

"Um...Leni?" she said patiently. But it was like talking to the open air, "Well I have eight of them in my room. But this isn't one of them," she said, pointing to the doll she was currently using, "this one I got from the s-shelf."

Leni started rocking the plush dog, as if it were a newborn. Seeing this, Liliana changed course.

"You like stuffed animals," Liliana said, "I do too. In my room I have all k-kinds of them," she then took out her clenched palm and flipped her fingers, "I have a pony, a cat, a monkey, a bunny, and I have a dog. It looks like the one you have, but it's black."

Liliana smiled, hoping to gain Leni's attention, but the two were worlds away at this point.

"Leni, dear!"

As if by magic, Leni's eyes snapped open and she stood up, continuing to hug the dog. Rita walked over to the two girls.

"And who is this?" she asked, looking down at Liliana. The two then exchanged their introductions, "Look at that, Leni. You already have a new friend."

Leni stood there for a moment, staring at the dog.

"Yes..." she said softly, never letting her gaze break from the animal.

"That's good," Rita said, kneeling down to Leni, "Now listen, I have to go now. I want you to be a big girl and do what Mrs. Egan tells you. Okay?"

Leni started petting the dog, stroking its yarn fur.

"Leni, did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah," she replied, not looking up.

"At the end of the day, I will come back to take you and Lori home," Rita said. She then placed a hand on Leni's shoulder, prompting the girl to look up.

"Today is a special day, Leni," she said, "you will have a lot of new things to do and kids to talk to. I want you to have a good time," her eyes brightened as pride flushed across the mother's face, "I love you so much."

Rita then tucked Leni into a deep hug, one much more overwhelming than she imagined. For the first time in a while, Leni chuckled as an empowering wave of happiness overtook her. The embrace lasted almost a minute.

When they finally separated, both of them were smiling.

"I will be here to pick you two up at 2 o'clock," Rita said, giving Leni a kiss on the cheek, "Have a wonderful day, sweetie! I love you so much."

She then turned to Liliana.

"It was really nice meeting you, Liliana," she said to the little girl, who smiled back at her.

And with that, Rita left, leaving the two girls to themselves. For the next ten minutes, they sat there as if nothing had happened. Liliana went back to brushing the Barbie doll. Leni, however, focused all her attention on the plushie dog, petting it and hugging it.

"You...will be," Leni said slowly, "...Blacky..."

Chapter 2: First Day

Once all the kids arrived, Mrs. Egan made her way to the front of the room, which had a rug with many colorful circles on it.

"Good morning everyone," she said with a peppy grin, "Can we sit down on the lovely dots?"

It took a minute, but each of the students made their way towards the teacher. They each sat down on a distinct dot, claiming it as their territory. Some of them brought the toys they were playing with. Leni and Liliana sat next to each other, each holding Blacky and Barbie respectively.

"Good morning," she said, repeating herself, "My name is Mrs. Egan and I will be your teacher and friend this year in kindergarten."

The other kids viewed their surroundings, their innocent eyes a little nervous at the new setting.

"Let's go around and say each other's names. That way we can get to know each other," she said before turning to her right and lifting her hand in that direction, "Let's start over here."

Leni and Liliana were on the opposite end of the blob, so they waited as they learned all of the kids' names.

"I'm Adam."

"Lizzie!"

"My name is Elijah."

At last, the two girls remained. They were uncertain and they looked at each other for a moment.

"I'm Liliana," she said. She then held up the doll, "and I like Barbies."

She then looked at Leni, waiting for her to speak. The blonde then saw how everyone else in the room was staring at her, even then smiling, anticipated Mrs. Egan. She awkwardly held up the plushie.

"Um...hi...I'm Leni," she said quietly, "and...and this is Blacky, my...um...new pet doggie."

There was a brief moment of silence as she continued to hold the dog in the air, as if she had more to say. But alas, nothing came out.

"Well it's very nice to meet all of you," Mrs. Egan said, whose voice boomed compared to Leni's, "Now let's go around the room and say one thing about ourselves that make us special!" she then pointed at herself, "I'll start. I have a brother named Percy and he works at Chuck E Cheese."

Some of the kids gasped, some others smiled as they thought of the ball pits, lively mascots, and endless pizza. Mrs. Egan allowed these reactions to transpire before the first kids listed off what they had to say. A lot of the kids talked about stuff they liked-their favorite food, cartoon, toy, game, color, and whatever else a five year old cared about. Same as last time, the two girls waited patiently as everyone else went first; Liliana started to wish she had chosen a different circle to sit on.

"My favorite color is pink because it looks good on everything,". Liliana said when it was finally her turn.

Again, there were about five seconds of complete silence. Leni thought about what she would say, but she found it hard to find something.

"I..." she said, thinking. She then looked down at the plushie, "I like my dog Blacky," she then held up the toy again for everyone to see.

"I'm really glad we're learning about each other," Mrs. Egan said, "This year, I hope we all get to know each other even better. By knowing what others like, it can help us be friends with those people. And then you can play with those friends, watch movies, and talk to them."

The teacher then scanned at each of the smiling and anxious kids listening to her.

"So what I want you to do is sit down at those tables over there with a group of others," she said, pointing to the cluster of them on the other side of the room, "and you'll see pieces of paper and crayons. I want you to draw pictures of your house and your family. And then when you're done, show your drawing to the other kids at your table."

With a little encouragement, the kids found themselves able to make their way to the tables. Each table had five chairs, meaning that Leni and Liliana were surrounded by three girls. Although they introduced themselves along with everyone else, Leni had a hard time remembering their names.

"Polly...Dory...Blacky?...Oh...Cindy..."

As she pondered, Leni noticed the others grabbing paper to start their drawings. Seeing this, she copied this behavior. For the next few minutes, Leni unconsciously colored her house and other things she felt were needed.

"Are you done?" one of the girls asked.

On command, Leni stopped. She looked up and saw everyone else had finished. The girl that had asked was sitting right next to her and held up her drawing. On the top of the sheet was her name-Dorothy-written in red crayon.

"I live in a red house with my Mommy and Daddy," Dorothy said, pointing to each part of the picture, "My house has a slide in the back and inside there is a big TV. Like bigger than the whole school!"

She then lowered her sheet and turned to Leni.

"Do you wanna go next?" she asked.

Leni nodded. She scanned the drawing she made before presenting it.

"I...have four sisters..." she said slowly, her eyes wandering all over the room, "my Mommy said that I will have another one soon...but I don't know if it is a boy or a girl..." on the paper, she drew Rita with a bulge on her tummy. Leni then let go of the sheet, allowing it to slide back on the table. She then leaned forward with Blacky and began cuddling with him once more. The others presented their drawings, but Leni shut them out in favor of the plushie. She giggled and smiled as she embraced the puppy.

The bell rang at precisely 2 pm, signaling most of the kids to chatter.

"Alright kids," Mrs. Egan announced, grasping the class's attention, "We are done for the day. So let's clean up and put all our things back where we found them."

Leni watched the others restock the shelves with the toys they were playing with. She stared down at Blacky and brushed its soft fur.

"Leni, it's time to put Blacky back on the shelf," Mrs. Egan, coming up to her. But Leni stood there, unsure of what to do. Sometimes, she got so confused by what was going on. In response, she tightened her embrace with the plushie.

"It's okay, Leni," she said, "You can see Blacky again tomorrow and play with him even more. But now, he needs a nap from all the fun he had today," she then cast Leni a warm smile.

Leni smiled back. Then, without saying a word, she walked over to the shelf and rested the dog on its wooden surface. She leaned in and kissed it on the forehead.

"Goodbye Blacky," she said with a surprising amount of confidence. Her meek voice carried itself well as she spoke, "I will see you tomorrow. And then we can play and snuggle."

Leni gave Blacky one more hug.

"I love you."

She forced herself to break from the warm intimate hug. She turned away and walked to the others, who were grabbing their bags. They were all hanging around the corner of the room, talking incessantly. She tried recalling the names of the ones she saw.

"Elliot...Alan...Dolly...Lily..."

"Alright kids," Mrs. Egan said, "your parents are waiting for you in the hallway. I hope you have a nice day and I will see you tomorrow!"

Leni swiped her backpack and lunch bag and quietly walked out of the room. She saw all the parents lined up across the hallway, some of them accompanying older students that have already been dismissed. Leni wandered aimlessly in the open hallway, unsure of what to do next.

"Leni! Leni! Over here honey!"

Her right ear buzzed, alerting her to the sound waves producing those chants. She turned and saw Rita, waving her arms, and Lori standing impatiently. Seeing those two, Leni walked her way over there, her uneven steps occasionally throwing off her posture. Upon reaching Rita, she stopped.

"Hi sweetie," Rita said, hugging her, "How was your first day of school?"

"Good," Leni replied. She then turned to Lori, "D-did...Lori have a g-good day?..."

Lori frowned.

"No," she said, "it's not fair! Carol wore an prettier dress and everyone was saying how good it was. No one said mine was pretty at all. It's not fair!"

Leni stepped over to Lori and slid into her arms. Lori was thrown off by this sudden, unnatural gesture.

"Don't be mad, Lori," she said monotonously, "I like...your dress..."

Rita gleamed at the sight.

"Lori, it's okay," Rita added, "we both think you had a wonderful dress. Don't let anyone else bring you down."

Lori pouted a little, but then sighed. She peered down to her sister and realized that Leni, through all her creepiness, really cared about her. Lori took several breaths and then stroked her little sister's blonde hair.

"Thank you Leni," Lori said. She then looked up at Rita, "and Mom."

"Now," Rita said, turning to the nearby exit, "Let's go home."

Rita, Lori, and Leni were greeted to the sounds of laughter, banging, and television back at the Loud House. Everyone was settled in the living room, enjoying their day.

"Hey kids," Lynn Sr said, getting up from the couch, "How was your first day of school?"

"Okay," Lori said, twirling a strand of hair. She wasn't lying. Although Carol upstaged her at picture day, she admitted that she enjoyed seeing Bobby and some of her other gal pals again. Plus, Mrs. Turner was a pretty good teacher.

"And what about you Leni? How was your first day of school?"

Leni's shoulders tensed up, making herself look smaller. Her eyes darted back and forth, never settling on one object.

"Good..." she eventually said. Her head then dropped to the floor.

"Do you like Mrs. Egan? Do you have any new friends?"

Leni shrugged and turned her head towards the kitchen. She then walked towards the stairs, intent on heading to her room.

"Leni," Lynn Sr said, kneeling down, coughing out a laugh, "Don't you want to say hi to your little sisters? They have been waiting to see you!"

Instinctively, the young girl changed her direction. Her body's thrust in the other direction was jaw-dropping. Leni approached the toddlers, who were playing with plastic plates, cups, and dolls.

"Hi Luna! Hi Luan! Hi Lynn!" she yelled enthusiastically. Leni plopped herself on the floor and gazed at the dolls they were using.

"What are you all playing?" she asked.

"Tea party," Luna said, holding up a pink cup, "Want to play?"

"Yes!" Leni exclaimed. With that, Luna handed the cup to her. Leni propelled the cup into her mouth and drank the imaginary tea, even going as to include slurping sounds.

"That is a good tea, Luna!"

"Thank you," Luna replied, smiling. Seeing her face, Leni contorted her muscles to mirror it as precisely as possible. It was a habit of her's.

"Try it Lynn! It's good!" Leni cheered as she handed the tea cup to the infant. Lynn ripped it from her hands and chucked it at the couch. Leni couldn't help but laugh at her sister's rambunctious tendencies.

"No, no, Lynn," she said, struggling not to chuckle. She got up and retrieved the cup, which was resting on the couch's cushy surface, "You drink the tea. Like this," Leni then took a massive swig of the "beverage". Smiling again, she handed it to Lynn.

"Now you try!"

Leni watched as Lynn started to strike the cup on the floor like a hammer. She waited patiently, hoping the infant would eventually get it right.

"Lynn," Luna said, crouching herself closer to her little sister. She extended her hand towards the cup, "Here, let me help y-"

Lynn started banging Luna's hand with the cup. Although the blows lacked precision, when they locked with the hand, Luna recoiled. She yelped at the sting the plastic edge wrought. Leni transformed almost instantly, her eyes and face burdened by discomfort. She knelt down and grasped the cup.

"Don't hurt her," Leni said, pulling the cup. Her voice wavered, as if she herself had been hit. Lynn was strong for her age, but Leni managed to pry the cup away with a little extra effort. With the cup in one hand, she stretched her arm as far from Lynn as she could.

"Please," Leni said, her eyes suddenly devoid of life, "please don't hurt her."

And just like that, the dam broke. Lynn burst into tears and crawled to Leni. In desperation, she gripped Leni's dress trying to get her beloved toy.

"No," Leni said slowly, trying to stretch her arm even further, "I can't let you hurt Luna..."

Lynn Sr. And Rita rushed over to them. He lifted Lynn Jr. and rocked her in his arms, trying to calm the infant. Leni tried to walk over to Luna, but was stopped by Rita.

"Honey, what happened?"

Leni lowered her arms and allowed the cup to fall.

"She hit Luna...I wanted her to stop," she said, looking towards Luna. She stared at her little sister, who was still rubbing her hand. Her need to kiss and hug burned at her very soul.

"Well honey that's a very good thing you did. You're teaching Lynn how to play nicely and I'm glad you like helping others."

But Leni barely listened; she walked past her mother and enveloped Luna. Luna admitted that Lynn didn't hurt her that much, but she liked how her sister cared.

"Are you...okay?" Leni asked, stroking Luna's brown hair.

"I'm good."

Despite her reassurance, Leni refused to let go. To her, Luna's pain was unimaginable, worse than any fall or slap. For the next several minutes, all she did was hold onto her little sister.

"Leni," she whispered, "you can let go now..."

Leni rashly pulled herself away, asking if she was okay. Luna nodded her head.

"Are you okay?" she repeated.

"Yes, Leni," she said, realizing that she couldn't understand the gesture.

Rita offered to make the girls a snack, but Leni declined. She turned to the stairs and headed towards them. Any mark of excitment from the tea party had long dissipated at this point, but Leni was someone that likes being in her room. She liked the isolation, the freedom from talking to others (even though Lori was in there as well). Knowing this, Lynn Sr. and Rita escorted the others into the kitchen, much to their joy.

Chapter 3: Hanging Out

Lori and Leni were sprawled across their beds, waiting for Rita to tuck them in for the night. The afternoon had moved smoothly after the whole tea party; the oldest two hung out in their room and the youngest three played in the living room with their parents.

"Hey Leni," Lori said, turning to the other bed, where the lying Leni was facing the wall, snuggling with her stuffed bunny Bun-Bun. She didn't respond, though. "Mom's belly is getting pretty big! Do you think the baby will be a boy or a girl?"

All she got for an answer was a familiar groan. It was the type that evoked indecision rather than discomfort or frustration. Lori took it as an audible shrug more than anything else.

"I want another sister," Lori continued, staring at the ceiling, "to make things easy. And when we get older, she will be one more girl to teach about boys and makeup and all that fun stuff! Having a boy around will make things all gross and weird."

She then turned to her sister, who hadn't moved.

"What do you want our new baby to be?"

Nothing. Not even a groan. Lori sighed, thinking about all the other times she had failed to get even a word out of her sister.

"Leni!" she said, raising her voice, "Do you want a brother or another sister?"

"I dunno..." she said, tightening her grip on Bun-Bun.

"Don't tell me you want a brother getting his yucky hands all over everything!" Lori said, "Dirty underwear, comics, Ace Savvy toys everywhere! So don't tell me 'I dunno'!"

Rita then walked in, going over to Leni's bed first.

"You got Bun-Bun with you, honey?" she asked as she wrapped the pink blanket around her, "Good night," she added, giving her a kiss on the forehead, "I love you so much."

Rita then made her way to Lori, who had her arms crossed.

"Mom, when are we gonna know if the baby's a boy or a girl?"

Rita chuckled and started to tuck her in.

"Me and Daddy are going to the doctor next week. There, we will find out once and for all. Won't that be exciting?"

Lori smirked and nodded her head.

"I'm glad that you're interested in the baby," Rita said, adding the finishing touches to the blanket, "no matter what, this baby will be a special addition to our family."

She then leaned in and kissed her eldest daughter.

"I love you honey!"

Lori couldn't help but smile.

"I love you too Mom."

"Good night."

With that, Rita exited, gently flipping the light switch on the way out. Lori didn't even bother trying to talk to her sister, who was probably already fast asleep. She lied there and closed her eyes. She thought a little more about the upcoming baby before falling asleep herself.

Lori and Emily loved hopscotch. It had been the game for recess since last year. Emily always brought her chalk box to school in case the design they had set aside was erased, which was usually every week.

The bell rung and the masses of first-graders and kindergarteners raced out to the playground like a herd of wild dogs. The group two arrived at the hopscotch court, their own special corner of the playground, and started playing.

"I still think Marcy is the best character," Lori said, skipping on each of the blocks.

"No way! Riley is way funnier. Plus she's pretty," Emily replied, watching on from the side.

"Marcy is pretty. Have you seen what she does to her hair?"

"It's okay, but Riley is so much better! It was even better in that episode from a couple weeks ago where they had the talent show."

"I guess."

Lori completed the course and swapped places, spectating Emily. Lori was no worse at hopscotch than any normal girl, but she was glad to have Emily. Unlike herself, Emily was a dancer and when she graced the chalk boxes, it showed. Lori never let this showmanship bug her in the way Carol's did; iif anything, it was exciting seeing such fine footwork.

"What did you think of Tyler in last night's episode?" Lori asked.

"Is that even a question," Emily answered, not even losing a breath in her movements, "Funny!"

"I know! I laughed so hard when he shot milk out his nose."

The two girls chuckled as they recalled the scene. Their six year old minds exaggerated the details, making it seem even funnier in hindsight.

"And when he told Mrs. Snootie he wrote his paper about boogers," Emily said, completing her set, "You know, Mrs. Snootie is kinda like Mrs. Turner. Kinda mean and boring."

"She's not that bad."

"She put Sean in time out! Sean is, like, the cutest boy in class. And he's funny, like Tyler!"

"He was rude to her," Lori said.

"But it was funny! Tyler does everything Sean does and he doesn't get put in time out."

"True," Lori said, looking down at her feet hopping along the court. She started feeling the urge to monitor her steps to keep from tripping. She took her time formulating her next thought, "Boys are weird."

"Nuh uh."

"The ones on TV are good. Tyler's really funny and all," Lori said. Upon reaching the end of the set, though, she just stood there looking to the street beyond the hopscotch court, "but then there's ones like Sean. They are rude and gross. None of them are like Tyler at all!"

It didn't take long for Emily to put the pieces together.

"Are you still mad that the baby's a boy?"

"A little," Lori responded, walking over to her, "It's gonna be weird having a little brother running around. I don't want him to be like Sean."

"Even if he does," Emily said, starting to chuckle, "it won't be that bad."

"Emily!"

The dancer continued laughing as she moved to begin her set.

"Having a brother can't be that bad," she said, starting to skip along.

"How do you know? You don't even have one."

"Come on Lori. They can't all be bad. Besides, you have four sisters. He will learn to be just like you. And then he won't be gross."

Lori hadn't thought about that. She was so mad and disgusted by having a brother that she forgot about the numbers game; her thoughts assumed she would have been caged with this "animal" without any help.

"Maybe," was all Lori could say, though.

Emily completed the hopscotch again and turned towards the side of the school.

"Speaking of sisters," she said, squinting her eyes, "isn't that Leni over there?"

Lori looked in the indicated direction and saw a small girl sitting against the brick wall. She silently sitting there, alone. Seeing this, Lori and Emily walked towards her. She wasn't doing or saying anything; the girl was in a world of her own.

"Hey Leni," Lori said as she arrived, "What are you doing?"

Leni shrugged.

"Why aren't you playing with anyone?"

Once again, a simple shrug.

Even though Lori predicted this was how her sister spent her recess, it still stunned her to see it playing out. Lori had a hard time understanding how anyone could avoid conversation or playtime to the extent Leni could.

"Leni," she said, extending her hand towards her, "me and Emily are playing hopscotch. And I want you to play with us."

Leni broke away from the girls, allowing her eyes to turn to the street behind the playground. Lori frowned.

"Leni. I don't like you sitting here all by yourself. Now I want you to play with us!"

Distressed by the familiar sharpness of Lori's voice, Leni slowly pushed herself against the pavement and wall to prop herself up.

"It will be fun," Emily said as she did this, "I've been dying to know how you've been liking Mrs. Egan's class."

Upon getting on her feet, Leni just stared at Emily creepily.

"If you were dead...how would you find out?"

Lori mentally face palmed.

"No, Leni," she said, "Emily is not dying, she just really wants to know about your time with Mrs. Egan."

Leni stood there, her face clearly lacking any registration of the input.

"Then...why didn't she just say that?"

Lori sighed and placed her hand at the back of her sister's shoulder.

"Never mind. Let's just play."

The three of them made their way over to the hopscotch court, stopping right at its entry point.

"Okay Leni," Lori said, having calmed down, "now in hopscotch. What you want to hop from box to box until you get to the other side. You want to touch every box, okay?"

Leni observed the arrangement of chalk boxes and then jumped, planting both her feet safely inside one of the boxes.

"No, no, no! That's not how you do it," Lori said, "You only put one foot into each box."

She then nudged Leni outside the court.

"Now watch me."

Leni stood there and looked at her sister, easily hoping her way through the court. To her, the maneuver was so fast and hard to do. Leni wasn't exactly the princess of balance or grace.

"Now you try," she said upon completing the set.

Leni walked her way to the front of the court. She looked down and saw the two neighboring boxes before her. Suddenly, she jumped and opened her legs. Each of her feet landed in a different box.

"Good job," Lori said, relieved, "Now do the next one. Don't stop until you get to the end."

Inputting the data, she examined the next row, which had only one box. For a moment, she was paralyzed, uncertain of how to go about it. And then she jumped, her legs never changing position. With a slight shift in trajectory, she landed with one foot in the tile and the other planted outside the court. Mentally, Lori face palmed again, which manifested as a frown.

"No Leni! That's not how you do it!"

She stomped over to Leni, who was frozen in place and looking off in the distance.

"You can't have any feet touching the ground outside the chalk. Your feet must always be in the air or in the boxes!"

Lori gripped Leni's offending foot and pulled it off the ground. There was a little struggle, but the older sister prevailed.

"When you get to the rows with only one box, you do that instead," Lori said. She gave Leni a quick look before walking back to Emily, "Now do it right!"

Leni gazed down and saw the next row, two boxes. Just standing, her balance wavered. She stretched her arms and shook them around, trying to stay afloat. Veering down at her object once again, she bent the knee of the grounded leg and pushed up. But rather than jumping, the leg in the air jerked forward and pressed itself on the ground, just in time to prevent a major fall. Leni took several breaths before walking off the court.

"I don't like this game..." she told Lori, looking at the brick wall she was previously sitting at.

Lori understood what Leni was inclined to do and was determined to stop it. Acting quickly, Lori extended her hand to her sister's shoulder and turned to Emily.

"That's okay," Lori said, creating a smile in the process, "you don't have to play. You can just watch me and Emily play. From there, you can tell Emily all about Mrs. Egan and school. Do you want to do that?"

She didn't answer, but she did turn her head away from the wall. Lori took that as a 'yes'. She and Emily raced to the entrance of the hopscotch court and began once more. Leni just stood there, looking at nothing in particular, even as the two friends engaged in serious foot tactics.

"So...," Emily said as she waited for Lori to finish her set, "do you like Mrs. Egan?"

"Yes," she replied after a momentary pause.

"Lori and I were in her class last year and we liked her too. She's nice and a lot of fun!"

Leni simply groaned and continued to stare at some figment of her imagination, one that was blurry, but amusing nonetheless. Before Emily could add anything, she started her set as Lori finished her's.

"Why don't you tell Emily about your classmates," Lori said as she walked past her, "I think she would like to know about them."

The incoherent blob had vanished, leaving Leni a little nervous. Her head lowered to the ground with her mouth open, unsure how to answer. She had tried to learn their names. She really did. Or at least, know some of their names. Lori looked on, waiting impatiently for her sister to answer.

"Well..." she started, concentrating on the subject, "there...Blacky and Ruth and Barbie and...Lilo..."

Dreaded silence re-entered the hopscotch court, breaking any sense of flow the conversation had earlier. Lori tapped her foot, watching Emily approaching the end of the path.

"Is that all?" Lori said sharply.

Another groan. It was clear that no amount of pressing would get even another name out of the girl, or what she thought was a real person.

Before either girl could ask Leni another question, the bell rang. Leni marched through the chalk court, her eyes focused solely on the door she had come out of at the start of recess. Lori and Emily just watched the girl walk so purposefully back to class, which differed so greatly from themselves and many other kids. After a little bit, they reluctantly joined the massive herd of children being sentence to several more hours of school.

Lori was sitting in her room playing with one of her Barbie dolls. For all that she scolded Leni for doing the same, the eldest sister admitted that a little alone time never hurt anyone. Once in a while. And only for a couple minutes. She felt that after a long day of Mrs. Turner's class and Carol's snobbishness, a little decompression was in order.

She was riding the doll around in the pink car accessory, imagining the aquamarine carpet as a beautiful road hugging the sparkling Pacific Ocean. Lori had seen California a lot on television, as it was the setting of most of the shows she watched. She fantasized herself being in that sunny paradise some day. To her, it seemed like a girl's dream.

Her play session was interrupted, however, by her tummy growling. It appeared that relaxing after a hard day had other parts to it.

Getting up, Lori exited her room and turned to the hallway. She noticed, however, that in the middle of the corridor was a wooden staircase going up; someone was in the attic. Curious, Lori approached it and ascended its decrepit, creaky steps. She thought she heard sniffling as she went up the first step, followed by hasty attempts to silence it. Upon reaching the top, Lori saw her mother, holding a baby blue book in her hand.

"Hey sweetie!" Rita said, suddenly perking up a smile, "What brings you up here?"

"I just wanted to see what was up here," she answered, moving closer to her mother, "What's that you got there?"

Rita then held the book with pride.

"This is a special book I made before you were born, honey," she said before turning back to an open cardboard box, "I have one for your sisters too. And I'm making one right now for your future brother."

Lori looked inside the box to see four other books, each one a different color and with a healthy film of dust on their covers. She then turned to Rita and noticed that her cheeks carried a tint of red and that her eyes looked a little glassy. Something looked off.

"Are you okay, Mom?" Lori asked.

"Oh honey," she said, hugging her daughter, "reading these books just make me think of how much I love you and your sisters."

Rita then sniffled a bit as new thoughts emerged.

"And sometimes they make me cry a little. I just can't keep it in knowing how wonderful you all have been to my and Daddy's life," she then squeezed her a little tighter, "I love you so much, Lori."

Lori was touched by the hug, but was uncomfortable to hear her mother cry. Still, she found it in her to hug back.

"Mom...could you make me a snack?" she asked, breaking the awkward series of sniffles and stifled sobs.

"Of course, honey..." she replied, her voice having gone hoarse.

Rita closed the blue book and rested it on top of the teal one. She then got up and helped Lori downstairs.

Chapter 4: Movie Time

Leni was lying on her bed tossing Bun-Bun up and down like a ball. The sunset permeated an orange tint into the mostly empty room, which she appreciated. As she rhythmically played catch, her mind was swirling with thoughts about her future brother.

"I don't know, Bun-Bun. When brother comes, what if he feels sad and that no one wants to be around him?" she spoke, "I can...be there for him. I want my brother to be one that knows that he has me always...but I don't know."

After throwing the stuffed bunny up once more, she allowed it to land on her chest. She flinched a little at the impact, but it didn't hurt. She lied there; her eyes first went to the wall, then the ceiling, and then out the window. Thankfully, the sun wasn't in direct alignment with her line of vision. She took a deep breath.

"I hope Lori sees how much you mean to me, brother. When you come, Mommy and Daddy will be really happy...and I will be happy too. The world is a big, cute place with a lot of good stuff. You will like it a lot."

She stroked Bun-Bun like she had Blacky every day in Mrs. Egan's class—a careful, unusually precise hand brushing the fur. After doing this for a minute, Leni turned on her side and started snuggling with the stuffed animal. It was one of her prized possessions, one of the few things that never failed to make her outwardly express her happiness—up there with her little sisters, soft things, cartoons, and ice cream. Her parents had given it to her as a baby present shortly after she was born and she cuddled with it almost every night since.

As she laid there, she imagined what her brother might look like. The best she could come up with was practically a clone of herself. "Leni's Brother" had blonde hair, liked everything she liked, and did everything with her. He would be her special boy. She closed her eyes, unfazed by the light that remained in the sky. She laid there for what felt like an eternity. Had it been just an hour or two later in the day, she would have fallen asleep.

Thankfully, Lori opened the door, holding a black VHS tape, and saw her sister lying down. At this point, such behavior didn't surprise her.

"Hey Leni," she said, standing in the doorway, "do you want to come downstairs and watch a movie? I think you'll like this one."

"What-What is it?"

"It's called The Land Before Time. It's a cartoon, you'll like it!"

Leni's eyes shot open. She lifted her head and stared at here sister. Lori knew she would fall for the bait. Leni got up from her bed, carrying Bun-Bun, and joined her older sister. The two of them went downstairs to the living room. The three youngest sisters were already sitting on the couch, waiting for the movie to start. Leni saw a nice spot for herself next to Luna.

"Hi Leni," Luna said, excited to see one of her big sisters.

"Hi Luna," she replied, now sporting a massive grin. She squeezed Bun-Bun, excited for what was to come.

Lori turned on the TV and nudged the tape into the VHS player. She then rushed to turn out the lights before taking the last seat next to Leni. As the opening credits rolled, she took a quick glance to the girl next to her, whose eyes were glued to the screen. The plan worked.

Leni smiled at the different dinosaurs and prehistoric animals came to life, providing visuals for the baritone narrator. By the time Littlefoot hatched from his egg, any lingering thoughts of going upstairs had vanished. He was cute, which was all that mattered to her. Compared to his mother—a giant "longneck"—he was tiny enough to snuggle in her arms. She even went as far as to imagine Bun-Bun as that young cuddly dinosaur and hugged it tighter.

Despite what she had told Leni, Lori had never seen The Land Before Time. She urged Rita to take her to the video rental store, claiming that she wanted to pick out a movie for "all my sisters". She was telling the truth, but she had Leni on her mind as she walked up and down the aisles. Lori didn't like how her sister spent most of her time alone in their room; she wanted to find something that would get her to spend time with everyone, even if it was only for an hour or two. And just by looking at the cover, she assumed that the colorful cartoon dinosaurs would win her over.

About ten minutes into the film, Lori was surprised by the vicious "sharptooth"—a nasty T-Rex—rampaging through the scene, trying to devour the young Littlefoot and Cera—an orange "threehorn". Her heart and mind raced, demanding to know where this monster came from. Seeing the case on the floor, Lori snatched it and scanned the cover. She mentally slapped herself as she noticed the "sharptooth" lurking in the background.

"How did I not see that at the store?!"

She turned left and right. Luna, Luan, and Lynn were just as terrified as she was, but Leni was practically a stone. Lori was baffled. She wanted to believe that she just wasn't paying attention, but her eyes were clearly directed at the "sharptooth".

After several tense minutes, the T-Rex appeared to be defeated. Lori took several deep breaths, hopeful that the "real movie" would start. But then it started raining on the prehistoric Earth and the clouds darkened to resemble night. A large brontosaurus had collapsed on a ridge and the young Littlefoot approached her. It was her mom, seriously wounded from the attacks. Littlefoot was distraught and urged her mother to get up.

"Why is this so sad?"

Suddenly, Lori felt light-headed. She felt uncomfortable being on the couch, forced to watch not only the movies but also her little sisters' confused, heartbroken reactions. She started regretting her decision to pick this movie.

Leni was sniffling erratically, barely able to keep herself together. Tears were trickling from her eyes like streams in the forest. Although the other sisters showed distress at what was transpiring, Leni was trembling. It felt like more was being released than melancholy; it was as if her fear from the "sharptooth" scene was being dispersed too.

Lori slid her arm onto Leni's shoulder. Noticing this, Leni clung to her sister, crying into her shirt. As Lori rubbed her back, she felt like she was dreaming. It was surreal for her to watch Leni cry. She only remembered it happening once before. It was about two years ago, when they were watching a concert on TV with their parents. At one point, there was a middle-aged woman that sang a slow, gripping solo with an orchestra providing instrumentation. She didn't remember the details, but she saw how the woman's voice and the orchestra's majestic chords penetrated Leni's heart in a way that was an enigma to her.

"M-make her come back, Lori!" she wailed, gripping her sister's shirt,"Make his mommy come back!"

"I can't do that..." was all she could say, fighting back a dizzying headache.

This made Leni cry even more, causing her to squeeze Lori. By then, the other little sisters had started sobbing as well. Some of the overlapping sounds were blubbering, other were pleas for the mother to live, and some more were worried about Leni. Lori herself didn't cry at the scene, but she was uneasy towards the animosity.

Sure enough, the mother had died. And in the minutes afterward, Littlefoot sauntered around the barren, jagged terrain. Leni wasn't paying attention, though. She was still hugging Lori, struggling to breathe without whimpering. The eldest sister soothed her while still watching the movie, hoping that things get resolved.

Eventually, Littlefoot encountered a new character. She was a tiny green dinosaur with cheery blue eyes and a innocent voice.

"Leni, look!" Lori said, nudging her sister's shoulder. After several seconds of urging, she reluctantly turned her head to the screen. She had stopped crying, but her breaths were shaky. As this new character spoke, Leni found herself lightly chuckling at her voice.

"S-she's...cute..." she said, leaning against Lori.

"Yeah! She's great!" Luna said, trying whatever she can to make her big sister feel better.

"Yeah..."

The five continued to watch the movie. That dinosaur even got a cute little name—Ducky. Every so often, Lori looked down at her sister. Although she never got back up on her own, Leni started smiling throughout the rest of the film. It was clear she liked all the other characters that got introduced, but her facial muscles jittered every time Ducky came on to do or say something. Ducky carried the magnetism that Lori was looking for.

Although there were several dramatic scenes that wiped that smile away, nothing was able to drag Leni down to that low she felt when the mother died. Lori and the others just watched with their eyes peeled and faces tense.

As the credits began, a female voice started singing. Lori was instantly reminded of the concert from two years. She gently got up, making sure not to disturb Leni, before racing to the VHS player and turning it off. The TV screen went to the normal blue. Lori cautiously ejected the tape and turned off the TV.

"So everyone...what did you think?" she asked.

"I liked it..." Leni replied in a deadpan tone.

"I loved it!" Luna said more enthusiastically.

"I. Like," Luan babbled.

Lynn wasn't old enough to talk, but she was smiling. And with that, Lori exhaled in relief.

Not long after that, the parents entered and brought them all up to bed. Lori pampered herself with pride, knowing that she fulfilled her mission. Rita took the two oldest sisters to their room and tucked them in.

"Did you two like the movie?" their mother asked, standing between the two beds.

"Yes, Mom," Lori answered, carrying a sly smile.

"You should have seen it Mommy!" Leni said, unusually excited, "There was this one girl named Ducky and she was so cute! I wish she were here so that I could hug her and play with her!"

Rita chuckled.

"You know, I was in middle school when Land Before Time came out," she said, "and everyone I knew saw it at the movies. And for weeks after that, dinosaurs were all anyone could talk about," she then sported a reverent smile, "I'm glad that you two liked this movie as much as I did when I first saw it."

She then went over to Lori and gave her a kiss.

"Good night, honey. I love you."

"Love you too, Mom."

Rita then went over to Leni and gave her a kiss.

"Good night Leni," she said warmly.

"Good night Mommy," she said, unusually excited, "Maybe when Ducky comes, she'll get to play with you too!"

Rita smiled at her daughter's enthusiasm.

"I'm so proud of you for spending time with your sisters tonight. It's feels really good knowing that you enjoyed the movie."

"I love Ducky!"

Rita gave her one more kiss before getting up and closing the door. Needless to say, sleep came easily for both girls that night.

Chapter 5: Having Fun

"I think Bun-Bun likes you, Luan!" Leni said. The five sisters were all sitting in a circle on the living room floor. Luan fiddled with the stuffed animal with her hands, grasping its soft white texture.

As this happened, Lori was playing with her Barbie doll. She had brought down a tupperware container with innumerable accessories: outfits, combs, brushes, the pink convertible, and other things. She was in the process of changing Barbie into her nurse outfit when the piece of plastic won Lynn's eyes. Since she was sitting next to Lori, she extended her arms out towards it. Lori noticed rather quickly.

"Lynn, you can't have this," she said. Her mom had already explained to her the dangers of toys with small parts and had she been in the room at the moment, she would have told Lori to not play with it so close to the baby. But mostly, Lori just found Lynn's begging annoying. When Lynn didn't stop her grabbing, Lori just groaned.

"Ban-Ban," Luan said enthusiastically, tossing the doll into the center of the social circle.

"No, silly," Leni replied, chuckling. She then reached to grab her beloved bunny, "It is Bun...Bun."

She handed it back to Luan and watched her play with it some more, which mostly consisted of throwing it up and down. As the younger sister did this, she laughed in her cute voice.

"Ban-Ban!" she exclaimed again as she threw it up. This time, it landed behind her and outside the circle. Leni giggled again.

"Let me help you," Leni said. She then grabbed the doll and held it up in front of Luan.

"Bun," she pointed. She then paused for a brief moment to poke the bunny's plush belly, "Bun!" Luan then opened her arms, her eyes clearly burning for the doll. Leni gently handed it to her sister once more.

Meanwhile, Luna was playing with an interactive push-button board; each of the buttons had characters from Sesame Street on it. Luna pushed the various buttons and grinned whenever she heard the respective character compliment her. No one else was a big fan of electronics, much to Luna's delight.

"Hey there, kids!"

Lynn Sr. emerged from the kitchen with a quip on his face and newspaper in hand. Seeing the girls sitting in their circle, he knelt next to Luna and Lynn Jr.

"You girls getting along, having fun. That's what I like to see," he said before turning his head to the other side of the circle, "Leni, you're letting Luan play with Bun-Bun?"

"Yes, daddy," Leni said, perking a smile. Luan barely noticed, however, and continued to play around with the bunny.

"I'm glad you're doing that. And what about you girls?," he asked, "Everything's going good?"

Lori nodded her head with her eyes glued to her Barbie doll, prompting Luna to do the same.

"Well okay," he said. He then gazed at the various plastic accessories in the tupperware container, "Lori, just make sure Lynn doesn't get her hands on those."

"Yes, dad," she said, not even looking up.

"Thank you."

With that, Lynn Sr took a seat at a nearby armchair and started reading his paper. None of the girls really minded their dad watching them play; in fact, they barely even noticed it.

Luan tossed up Bun-Bun and reached her hands out. To her amazement, the doll slid comfortably into her hands, causing the toddler to grin.

"Yup yup yup!" she cheered as she hugged the doll she caught.

Something clicked in Leni. A burst of excitement suddenly rushed through her and she enjoyed every moment of it. Instinctively, she propped her arms up and bent her elbows. She bent her wrists downward, causing her hands to cup in a similar fashion.

"Yup yup yup!" she mimicked, her eyes closing in glee.

Luan giggled at her big sister's antics. Leni's gleaming eyes opened to see the toddler clapping her hands, asking for more. But instead, she stuck a finger to Bun-Bun and tapped its nose. She then lifted it up to Luan's and poked it as well. As she imagined, Luan chuckled and her lips curled upwards.

"You're so cute, Luan!" she said. Her eyes were now transfixed on her sister, never breaking away, "Yes you are! Yup yup yup!"

Lori glanced up to see her two siblings. She noticed that Leni was now kneeling as opposed to sitting and leaning in towards Luan. She then turned to Lynn, who was slumped down on her leg like a puppy. Feeling the undeniable obligation, she stroked Lynn's blooming brown hair. She didn't feel much from it, though—no smile, no sparkle in her eyes. As she did this, she heard Leni cheering and repeating "Yup yup yup" every couple of sentences.

"How can she be so happy right now? She's not trying!"

Lori then turned back to Leni, who was now really close to Luan. A little too close, she felt, but Luan didn't seem to care. Both of them were laughing, beaming, and encouraging each other. If there was one thing Lori knew Leni was better at her at, it was making her sisters happy.

Leni was sitting in the corner on the floor with Blacky. She stroked it's black fur like it was Bun-Bun. Her face lacked any tension or energy.

"You should have been there," she thought to herself, envisioning herself as much more excited than what her outward appearance conveyed. She imagined the plushie was a living, happy, furry friend she was talking to, "The best scene in the whole movie was when Ducky was helping them get those green thingys out of the tree! And they ate them and Ducky said 'Yup yup yup!"

She then propped the plushie so that its face was directed at her's.

''"Yup yup yup!" ''she imagined Blacky saying.

"Yup yup yup! That's what Ducky says! And it gets better too. Mommy told me that there are more of those movies. So I get to see Ducky even more. Yup yup yup!"

"That's good. Yup yup yup!"

At this point, Leni started humming  and swaying Blacky back in forth in her extended arms. She didn't even notice another girl approach to her.

"Hey Leni," Liliana said. In her hands, she held some paper and a crayon box. She was met, however, with detached humming; it was like she was blended into the colorless air.

"Uh...Leni?" she repeated. Still nothing. Liliana walked closer and held out the materials in front of Blacky, "Did you want to color with me?"

The blonde continued playing with her plushie. Liliana thought she could hear her classmate mummering words under her juvenile noises. But at last, she concluded that Leni was having fun in her own bubble.

"Okay then...," she said, pulling back the art supplies, "I will be coloring now. You can color too if you want."

Liliana then stepped back and retreated to one of the circular tables. Leni couldn't have been bothered to see.

"And that kids is the magic of subtraction!" Mrs. Turner exclaimed, sticking both her arms at her big, green numbers on the white board. Despite her enthusiasm, though, none of her students were excited. Some were bored, some were annoyed, and others were in the middle.

"Lame!" Sean exclaimed as he crumbled a piece of paper.

And just like that, the closing bell rang, "Very well, I hope you all have a good weekend!"

The students sighed and started getting their backpacks.

"Hey Lori, do you want to have a sleepover tonight at my house? My parents said I could have one," Emily said, walking with her friend.

"Yes! I'll just ask my mom to see if she's good with it."

Upon grabbing their things, the two girls made their way through the crowd of children and into the hallway, where all their parents were waiting. Emily tagged along with Lori as she made her way to Rita, whose stomach had become noticeably bloated.

"Hi Lori how was your day?" she asked before noticing the additional member, "And if it isn't Emily. Hi there, how was your day?"

"It was great! Thanks Mrs. Loud," Emily interjected.

"Good, Mom," Lori said. She briefly looked at her friend before turning back to Rita, "Hey Mom, can I go over Emily's house tonight for a sleepover?"

The two of them smiled, hoping the adult would grant their wish.

"I'm sorry, girls, but tonight is not a good night for that. The doctors want me at the hospital to make sure the baby is doing well," she said regretfully, "How about next weekend? Does that sound fair?"

The two girls sighed and groaned.

"Sorry," Emily said to Lori, "I'll see if we can do it next week," she then turned to Rita and straightened her face, "Good luck Mrs. Loud."

Rita smiled.

"Thank you Emily! That's very nice of you," she said. She then took her hand and rubbed her inflated belly, "And I'm sure my special little guy will be happy to see the doctors again."

"I hope you all have a nice weekend!" Emily said. And with that, she left to attend to her awaiting mother. Lori, however, still had the face of a stone.

"Are you okay sweetie?" Rita asked, approaching her daughter.

"I wanted a sleepover," she pouted.

"I know you're upset, but soon you'll have a brother to play with. Doesn't that sound exciting?"

"And why did it have to be a boy? Why couldn't it be a girl?"

Rita was disappointed in herself for not resolving this. It wasn't the first time she had gotten that answer from Lori and no answer seemed to be good enough for her. That didn't stop the mother from trying, though.

"Honey," she started. She then leaned her body towards the hallway, "Let's go pick up Leni and we can talk on the way."

She started walking down the corridor. The moody Lori trudged alongside her.

"When gave me and Daddy you and your sisters, we didn't choose to have you all be girls. It was God that made that decision. This time, God chose to give us a boy."

"But why?"

"We don't know. God works in ways that we can't learn about. But what we do know about Him is that He loves all of us. You, me, Daddy, your sisters, Emily, everyone. He loves boys and girls the same because they are all special. Your brother is someone God loves in the same way you are someone God loves."

"But now there's gonna be Ace Savvy toys and comic books everywhere!" Lori lamented, "It's gross! Boys are bad anyway. They are mean! Brother is gonna be really bad to me and my sisters."

"Not all boys are bad. What makes you think they are?" Rita asked.

Lori sighed.

"There's this one boy in my class named Sean. And he's really rude. He always talks back to the teacher, he never does his homework, and he's mean to us! And now I'm gonna have a boy like Sean living in my own house. It's not fair!"

Rita has heard Lori talk about this boy several times before and she had tried to reassure her, but the girl still doesn't understand. She figured it was important for her to comprehend it, even if she had to tell it a hundred times.

"Lori, not all boys are like Sean. Some of them are mean, yes, but not all of them. Me and Dad will work hard to make sure your brother is not like that. We will love him, we will care for him, and we will try to show him how to be good. Just like you and your sisters."

Lori didn't respond. She just kept walking alongside her mother, noting how they were getting close to Mrs. Egan's room.

"I want you to be able to get along with your brother when he comes," Rita continued at the urging of her daughter's silence, "he will be something special. He will grow up to like certain things, have friends, and maybe even find a special someone. Just like you and your sisters."

"Mom!" Lori exclaimed, blushing a little, "Boys are dirty and I don't want a special someone."

"That's okay. You're young and you may not like that idea. But when you get older, you might change your mind and you might start falling in love."

"Stop it. I don't want to talk about this," she replied, her face now even redder and more flustered.

Rita forced back some laughter.

"I'm just having fun with you Lori," she said, looking down at her, "I guess what I want you to know is that you shouldn't be mad about having a brother. He will be a blessing to our family and I hope that with time, you can see that."

Lori stared at the crowd of parents outside Mrs. Egan's door.

"Okay we're here," she uttered, trying to flush away the awkwardness and embarrassment.

The two settled in the special corner of the hallway. It wasn't long before each of the students flooded out the door, eager to escape for the weekend. Leni emerged with her arms up, eyes closed, and smile widened, trying once again to imitate Ducky. Lori groaned.

"Hi Leni," Rita said, giving her second daughter a hug, "How was your day?"

"Good...," she said before flouting her arms up even higher, "yup yup yup!"

Rita chuckled.

"I'm happy to hear that."

"You were doing that during school?! That's weird," Lori snickered.

"Lori!" Rita said, shooting her head to her. She then exhaled and turned back to Leni, who appeared unaffected by the comment, "It's good to be yourself, Leni. Never be ashamed to show to others who you are."

"Yup yup yup!" Leni chipped.

And the three of them left. Rita smiling, Leni pretending to be Ducky, and Lori somewhat annoyed.

Chapter 6: Far Away

Lori was plopped down on the couch, tuning into her favorite show.

"Will Marcy say yes? Find out now on Los Angels!"

She groaned thinking about the commercials that have flooded the Bizney Channel this past week. She was prepared for the mushy, annoying scenes they promised, but banked on the hope that Marcy, her favorite character, would stay true to herself; a fashionista with a joke to quip and too good to fall in love.

As the Los Angels theme song played, Lori's dad came in, carrying the infant Lynn.

"Hey Lori. I'm gonna start making supper. Could you keep an eye on Lynn while I do that?"

"But dad," she moaned, "I'm watching my show!"

Lynn Sr. then placed the baby on the soft couch, besides Lori.

"Please," he said, "she can just sit next to you and you could watch your show together. How does that sound?"

Lori sighed.

"Dinner will be ready in about thirty minutes. That'll give you two plenty of time to see everything you want."

Before she could reply, her dad retreated into the kitchen. By then, the theme song was finished and the show began. Lori did her best to pay attention, but Lynn was trying to climb up her arm.

"Lynn! No!"

She didn't stop. She started trying harder, pulling Lori's shoulder down. Unable to ignore the situation, she broke away from the screen to see Lynn's eyes burning with desire.

"Lynn!" she said, trying to pry the little hands off her body, "You can't do that! Keep your hands off!"

Lori turned back to the screen and tried to concentrate. The current scene was one that was played in all the commercials: Josh flirting with Marcy. It annoyed Lori to no end, especially now having to see the same dialogue, same acting, and same framing playing for what felt like the hundredth time at this point. She then got an idea of how to get through it.

"So, Lynn," she said, painting a grin on her face, "You haven't seen this show before."

Lynn sat there with an open-mouthed smile and her head turned away.

"Well today's your lucky day. Now," she said, lifting Lynn and placing her on her lap, "This is called Los Angels and it's your big sister's favorite show. You see that girl with the really nice and shiny brown hair?"

She grabbed Lynn's hand and used it to point at the character on the TV screen.

"Her name is Marcy and she is the good girl. You like her. Now do you see that gross boy talking to her?"

Lori pulled her baby sister's arm to the right. Lynn, hating the fast movement, tried jerking away from her mighty grasp, but it was of no use.

"That joker is Josh. He's rude and he's mean and he smells. He's bad and you can't stand him," she said. Lori then peered down to see Lynn using her free hand to pick her nose, "Hey pay attention!"

She paused to give her sister time to stop distracting herself. All the while, the scene continued. Josh pulled out a box of chocolates and offered it to Marcy. Marcy, being a helpless chocoholic, accepted the box and smiled.

"Oh come on!" Lori exclaimed.

"Is everything okay in there?" Lynn Sr. asked from the kitchen.

"Yes, Daddy."

Without even checking to see if Lynn was paying attention, Lori continued as she watched the episode unfold.

"Now here's the crummy part. Marcy doesn't like Josh, which is the right thing. Marcy also doesn't like falling in love because that's gross. She doesn't like watching grown ups kissing and stuff. But Josh right there thinks that he can change her mind and make her fall in love with him. And she's fallen right into a trap. Chocolates!"

Lori looked back down to see Lynn lying on her legs, her eyes missing the screen. Seeing this, she sighed.

"Why aren't you watching? Don't you feel mad at Josh? Don't you want Marcy to find her way out of this?"

Lynn just rested, her innocent mind in a world of its own. Once again, Lori sighed. Rather than trying again,she just resumed watching the episode by herself. To her, that's how it was originally going to be. But then, why didn't she feel anything? No anger at Josh, no hope for Marcy, no attachment to anything. The glass screen separating the two worlds was well-defined.

"I wish Emily were here. This night was gonna be perfect. Sleepover and snacks and everything."

As those thoughts made their course, Lori did start to feel something. A headache.

"Stupid Mom and stupid doctors and stupid brother. Isn't five kids enough?!"

The throbbing pain persisted. She took several deep breaths in an attempt to alleviate it, but they did little to help.

The show cut to a commercial break, leaving Lori alone with herself and her two-year-old sister. Finding none of the ads interesting, she dropped her head to her sister, who looked unusually calm. Most of the time, Lynn was either whacking one of her toys or trying to climb something; she had even become proficient at walking. Sure, there were times during the day where the baby got tired, but she was almost never lying on her knees.

Despite the heartwarming sight, Lori barely cracked a smile. She made sure to remain still and occasionally stroked her sister's brown hair.

"It's fine. You can just rest right there. Don't worry about the show."

Before turning back to her show, Lori gave her sister another gentle rub and said,

"I love you."

Leni and Mrs. Boxer, a short elderly woman, were seating at a small round table. Upon its surface were flashcards, books, paper, and pencils. The room they were in was compact and windowless; to make up for this, the white walls were laden with colorful posters with children and animals on them. Also adorning these decorations were reminders written in bubbly letters about personal space, eye contact, appropriate conversation, and figures of speech.

"Okay, very good Leni," Mrs. Boxer said as she slid away some papers and summoned some flashcards, "Now, I will show you some faces and I want you to tell me how that person is feeling."

Leni merely shrugged as she eyed the teacher. Her eyes froze in place as she was revealed the first card. It was a color drawing of a face whose lips were curved downwards and had a tear streaming down his cheek.

"How do you think this person is feeling?"

She sat there, not sure at first. To her, the answer was nothing because no face was there. Leni then thought it was how she herself was feeling, but she couldn't quite put that to words—she didn't sense any wave of emotion flooding her mind. What resulted from all this was a long silence.

"Is this person smiling?" Mrs. Boxer asked, tracing the drawing with her finger, "Is he laughing?"

Realizing her focus, she directed her attention to the drawing itself. It didn't take long for her to reach one conclusion.

"...No..." she said, twiddling her thumbs.

"What is the person doing? Does he look mad? Or is he sad?"

Once more, Leni sat there and thought it through. She wasn't sure if it were anger, but that was a feeling she couldn't wrap her head around. To her, she couldn't understand why anyone, let alone a simple drawing, would feel that way. This left sadness. She had to work it out, searching for what she knew about it. And then she remembered what happened to Littlefoot's mom. The memory was too detached to make her well up, but she did recall the feeling of tears breaking free from her eyes.

"He's...sad..." she finally said.

"That's right," Mrs. Boxer replied, casting a rewarding grin and using her finger once more to articulate the drawing's details,"This boy is crying and he is not smiling. That means he's sad. And if you see someone that is sad, what do you do?"

There was a pause. Leni then leaned towards the picture with her arms extended.

"Hugging is one thing you can do. What else could you do?"

Leni froze. Her arms bent as they remained there with no certain target. She started staring at the white tiles on the floor with her mouth open. But words could not be found.

"You could ask him why he is sad," Mrs. Boxer said. Leni, however, didn't change her position, "Uh...Leni. Could you please look up at me? It's good to look others in the eye when they are talking to you."

Allowing the instructions to flow into her ears, Leni rolled her back up into a proper sitting position and stared at Mrs. Boxer.

"Very good. If someone is sad, you could ask him why he is feeling that way. He could be sad because he dropped his ice cream, or maybe he fell down and got hurt."

Leni listened to her teacher; her eyes didn't even dare to move.

"Well..." she then said, "um...did he fall down?"

"Yes. Let's say that this boy was running on the playground and he fell down. His knee hurts and now he is sad and he starts crying," Mrs. Boxer said. She then handed the flash card to Leni, who then held it with an awkward grip, "What do you do?"

Leni was now eyeing the card, absorbing its various features. Instinctively, she pulled it into her chest and started swaying in her chair.

"Okay, now the next thing to do is find a teacher and tell her that the boy is hurt."

It took her a moment to register that comment. She then stopped rocking and looked back up at Mrs. Boxer with an uncertain look.

"Okay. I'm the teacher," Mrs. Boxer said, pointing her fingers at herself, "Leni, do you want to tell me something?"

Leni's eyes fell to the floor.

"Uh...Mrs...Boxer,"

"Remember to look at the person you are talking to," she reminded.

She then lifted her head, however nothing was said for several seconds.

"He is sad...he uh...fell down and...he's crying."

"Thank you for telling me Leni. I will take him to the nurse's office," she replied. She then lowered her hands, "Very good, Leni. You are getting better every day."

Mrs. Boxer then cast a smile at her, but she wasn't compelled to mirror the expression.

"That's all we have to do today. Let's walk back to Mrs. Egan's, shall we?"

Mrs. Boxer then put her things away and got up. Leni silently followed her.

"It sounds like you are having a lot of fun with Mrs. Egan," she said, trying to get a conversation going, "What made you the most happy in class this week?"

Leni walked by her side, trying to think of something spectacular. After briefly brimming through the things that happened, something came to mind.

"...I saw a kid...he was coloring a picture...of Ducky and I...said 'Yup yup yup'," she said, smirking a little. She even propped her arms in her 'Ducky pose' as she strolled along.

Mrs. Boxer chuckled at the sight.

"I'm happy that you are being yourself, Leni. Kids like it when you show them who you are. Do you know anyone that likes Land Before Time?"

"No," she replied, "they don't talk about it or play about it...or color it. They like other things."

"What do the other kids talk about?"

Leni concentrated on what she remembered from class. Her strides noticeably became uneven at some points, but she was able to redirect herself when she was on the verge of stumbling.

"Uh..." she said as she continued to think, "They like...um...toys."

"You like toys. And there's lots of them in Mrs. Egan's room. Maybe you could ask someone to play with you."

"Maybe..." she said cheerfully, although she wasn't thinking about the prospect; it seemed too distant for her to grasp.

Eventually, the two wound up at the appropriate door.

"Well, here we are," Mrs. Boxer said, smiling, "Thank you so much for another great day. I will see you again next week."

"Sure..." she said, still holding her pose.

And with that, Leni re-entered the room. The kids were all making their way to the cupboard full of blue mats.

"Leni," Mrs. Egan said with her trademark grin, "Did you have a good time with Mrs. Boxer?"

"Yes," she said, motivated largely from the energy she felt from talking about Ducky.

"That's wonderful," the teacher said. She then leaned towards the cupboard, directing Leni's vision, "The others are getting ready for nap time. You should get your mat."

Without any verbal acknowledgment, she moved to the shelf, nudged herself past the other waiting kids, and dragged one for herself. While still gripping the mat, Leni made her way to the toy cabinet and pulled out Blacky; such was her ritual at nap time. She found an open space on the floor and let go of the mat, letting it slide across the tiles. She slowly got down and rested herself on the foam surface. She curled herself around the plushie, as if it were big enough to be a blanket. Her mind cleared and she slipped into sleep.

Chapter 7: Making Choices

The Halloween Emporium was packed on that Saturday afternoon before the big night. Practically every kid under the age of thirteen decided to get their costumes just three days before, five of which were the Loud sisters.

After spending a few minutes finding an open parking spot, the entire Loud family entered holding hands and were quickly stunned by the crowd. The line had six couples in it, each with children. As they made their way to the costume section, they encountered many familiar faces in the decoration and candy aisles. Rita and Lynn Sr. stopped a few times to greet their neighbors, although such meetings were hastened by the kids' begging and dragging.

The costume section was the most packed; almost every aisle had at least two people squished along the walkway's width. Unlike the other sections, where the aisles were defined by overbearing shelves, these paths were lined with crates filled with props and tall white walls dotted by pictures of all the available costumes. And tucked in a corner of the complex was a door that led to the mysterious storage room, where the real things were stashed.

The next twenty minutes were defined by nudging, stretching, turning, and bending in an effort to see all the options on the wall. Lori's first pick—Marcy—had a red sticker beside its picture reading 'Sold Out'. After briefly pouting at the disappointment, she brought herself back together and continued her search. She eventually found one available for Barbie, surprisingly enough. Before she could question how such a popular brand wouldn't sell out so quickly, she ran to Rita, who was holding the baby Lynn.

"Mom! I want to be Barbie!" she said, grabbing one of Rita's hands and directing her to the picture of the outfit. The older woman examined the costume; it had a standard pink dress, pieces of foam wrapped around the outside of the shoes to mimic heels, and a cheap plastic mask resembling Barbie's iconic face.

"Honey, are you sure you want that one? There's a lot of costumes to pick from," she said, carrying a little concern.

"Yes Mom," Lori replied, pointing at it, "I've looked around and this is the only one I like!"

Rita quickly realized that there were little options remaining. She then gave one more look at the picture.

"Well let's try it on and make sure there's a size that fits you," she finally said.

Meanwhile, Lynn Sr. was monitoring the other three kids as they searched through all the available options. Although the three were not side by side, they were all within their father's view.

It didn't take Luan very long to settle on one. Entitled 'Circus Clown', it consisted of a toddler-sized white suit with purple suspenders sewn and colorful polka dots splattered across. In addition, it came with a pair of Groucho glasses that made her laugh. When Luan told him her choice, he went over to Rita, who was waiting outside the door to the storage room with Lori and Lynn Jr., and informed his wife.

Luna walked along the entire wall at least three times, her mind fixated on three different options. She struggled between Oscar from Sesame Street, a Black Power Ranger, and a police officer. Her eyes examined each of her preferences, trying to nitpick and make the choice easier, but it was more difficult than she hoped.

Leni looked and down at a slower pace than either her sisters. She glanced at each picture one row at a time. While she appeared to be indecisive, she actually had a clear image of what she wanted to go as. With every column she completed without having found it, she felt a wave of anticipation that the next one would have her coveted prize. And so it went. Eventually, she had taken a gander at every picture, but none of them appeared interesting to her. With her body lacking conviction, she made her way to Lynn Sr.

"Um...Daddy."

"Yes, sweetie," he said, giving her a smile. Unfortunately, it failed to transfer to her daughter's face.

"I don't see Ducky..."

Lynn Sr. had a strong feeling that was what Leni was going to desire. In his six years of parenting and visiting the Halloween Emporium, he didn't recall seeing any Land Before Time costumes. Granted he never did a personal inventory check, but the film had been out of relevance for years. For a lot of kids, Land Before Time was little more than a collection of direct-to-video sequels acting as background noise during playtime. What store would still have Halloween costumes for it?

"Well honey," he said, carefully crafting this sentence, "maybe they don't have a Ducky costume. Why don't we take another look?" he then pointed to the top of the wall, "maybe there's one way up there."

The two then went to one of the wall and began their search.

"Would you like me to hold you so you can see those pictures at the very top?" Lynn Sr. asked.

Leni moaned and and stood there, almost unattached from her father's conversation. Lynn Sr. was familiar with that response and he figured the answer was no.

The two spent a couple minutes looking at all the available costumes. The top ones were a little hard to see, but the father could make out their basic outlines and could tell none of them resembled a dinosaur. Sadly, his initial thought was confirmed and no Ducky was found.

"I'm sorry, Leni. It looks like you have to pick something else," he said reluctantly.

Leni didn't answer immediately. Her face didn't wince or tense up, but nothing seemed to indicate acceptance.

"But...I wanna go as Ducky..." she said blandly.

"I know you do, but I'm afraid they don't have Ducky."

Had it been one of her other daughters, there would have been some degree of an argument. Lori would have gone on for a minute or so trying to fight him—as if he were dangling the desired costume just out of her reach—before sighing and moving on. Luna or Luan would have had a meltdown, as the latter had last year and the former the one before that; there would have been a twenty minute struggle in the store's bathroom, trying to wipe away the tears and calm them down, followed by an effort by him and Rita to save face to the employees and other parents. Leni didn't cry or get grumpy. She barely said even a word. But she seemed to have turned her body towards an unspecified point away from the costume section. Lynn Sr. gestured towards the wall, urging Leni to at least take a look at it.

"Here, I'll help you find a costume you'll love," he said. He then scanned the pictures closest to him, trying to find one that relates to his daughter's interest.

"Look here," he said, throwing on a smile, "here's a fluffy bunny! It looks just like Bun-Bun."

That got her to move a little bit closer, however she didn't even bother to look at the picture Lynn Sr. was referring to. With that, her father continued his examination, trying to find another.

"How about this one?" he said, pointing to a puppy with black fur. Although it resembled Blacky, Leni didn't take the time to consider it.

For the next few minutes, Lynn Sr. slowly went through all the pictures once more. He knew his second daughter was fond of cuddly animals, which the wall had no short supply of. But despite her eyes being in the direction of the collage, Leni was barely paying attention. By the end, it was concerning Lynn Sr.

"Honey, are you okay?" he asked, looking down at her. All Leni could think about was her precious Ducky and how she wanted to dress up like her. If her father hadn't asked his question a second time, she would have never received it. However, despite knowing the question, she simply shrugged.

"Do you want to pick from one of these animals?" he asked.

Before she could respond, though, Luna came running up to them.

"Dad! I want that one! That one!"

Lynn Sr. turned to her third daughter, who was starting to direct him to the specific point. Leni automatically followed along. They stopped about half way down the wall and Luna tapped the picture of Oscar. Leni stumbled her way into a spot where she could see the costume. From what she could see, there was a lot of fur covering the kid wearing it and it looked really soft. Sure it had a trashcan lid on the head, but she didn't seem to mind.

"I...want that one," Leni said, lifting her arm and weakly pointing at the Oscar costume.

Lynn Sr. was surprised. He knew all his children saw Sesame Street, including Leni, but he never imagined her liking a character like that. Oscar was the opposite of courtesy, gentleness, and cleanliness. If there was any character he felt she would have picked, it would not have been Oscar.

"Are you sure honey?" Lynn Sr. asked, turning to Leni.

"It's mine!" Luna exclaimed.

"They have Elmo," he said, pointing to said costume. Conveniently, all the Sesame Street costumes were lumped together, "they also have Big Bird and Rosita."

"I want that one," she repeated. She got closer to the Oscar costume picture and started tapping it like Luna was.

And like that, she was settled. Lynn Sr. knew it, and nothing would have changed Leni's mind now. Besides, he felt like it would have given this Halloween a couple extra photos for the family album.

He went over to Rita and the other three daughters, with the older two carrying their costumes. Lynn Sr. told the employee to give them two Oscar costumes.

"Aw! That's gonna be adorable!" Rita said upon hearing the news.

Sure enough, the two costumes arrived in the appropriate sizes. Lynn Sr. handed it to the two for them to try on. It took about two minutes and some help for the sisters to get on the outfit and secure the trashcan lids on their heads. As expected, they fitted pretty well.

Both the parents felt wonderful seeing their daughters standing side by side in the same costume. Rita wished she could have captured the moment with a picture. But then, for the first time that day, Leni smiled—always a good sign. And then, she embraced Luna. Any underlying annoyances Luna had towards her sister having the same costume evaporated. She grinned and then hugged her back.

Now, Rita regretted leaving the camera at home.

Chapter 8: Halloween Night

The big night finally arrived. Skeletons, pumpkins, cobwebs, and coffins decorated the neighborhood as each house prepared for a large share of trick-or-treaters.

The Loud House had finished dinner and the kids went to put on their costumes. All the while, Rita was pouring bag after bag of candy into a wide punch bowl and Lynn Sr. was digging through the crevices of his bedroom trying to find the camera. By now, both the parents knew the drill: Lynn Sr. took out the kids while Rita tended to the neighbors. But even with this understanding, Halloween became more difficult every year as the family got larger. Every year, it took a little longer to put on costumes, to head out, to go from house to house, and to scan every last mini chocolate bar. Indeed, the tumbling, sifting, chatting, and chuckling upstairs lasted for fifteen minutes, plenty of time for Lynn Sr. to locate the camera and the tripod stand.

"Dad! Let's go!" Lori cried out.

Grasping the cue, Lynn Sr. emerged from his first-story bedroom to be greeted by his five daughters all dressed up. Accompanying the scene were Rita's footsteps directed towards the foyer. He immediately noticed that Lori appeared even more impatient than last year—frowning and gripping baby Lynn in her arms. But the father wasn't about to barge out without completing some "rituals".

For one, it was tradition in the Loud House for the youngest to wear an infant-sized pumpkin costume. It started with Lori's first Halloween and every year since it had passed on to the next child, but lucky Lynn got it for a second.

"Aw! You all look great," Rita exclaimed, beaming, as she entered the room.

"You're just in time," he replied as she grabbed Lynn from Lori and handed her to his wife.

"Mom! Dad! Do we have to do this?" Lori moaned, tapping her foot.

"It's for the album!"

Rita smiled and held up Lynn, who was distracted by the interior decorations lining the walls. Lynn Sr. didn't mind and he snapped the camera, producing a glaring flash. The final result materialized on the screen in the camera's back. It was beautiful.

"Yes!" he cheered, "Now before we go, I want a picture of all of us."

Lori sighed and clumped with the rest of her sisters. Rita gathered behind them as Lynn Sr. attached the camera to the tripod. After aligning and setting the timer, he raced to the back and wrapped one of his arms across his wife's shoulders.

"Smile!" he said through his teeth.

The girls obliged and, after what felt like an excruciatingly long time, there was a giant flash that threatened to blind them all. The vigilant father paced back to the camera to see the result. All of them were smiling, even if Lori's looked forced. He, his wife, and Lynn all looked excited for the night of laughter and memories that was to come. Luan appeared decked out in her clown costume, ready to take on any grumpy ghost or ogre. Then there were Leni and Luna, both dressed up as Oscar. They were both hugging each other and their faces emanated a sisterly love; even though they weren't technically twins, they sure acted like them. Lynn Sr. couldn't help but smile at those two.

"Thank you," he said calmly, "Now let's have the best night ever."

"Finally!" Lori said.

The eldest sister led the way towards the door, tempted to burst out.

"Remember to stick together kids," Rita said as she saw them move, "And don't eat any candy until me and Daddy check it! Love you!"

Lynn Sr. knew he had to act quickly. In a swift motion, he detached the camera from the tripod, snatched Lynn's candy bag, and took the infant out of Rita's hand. He then burst out the door and caught up to the girls.

"Okay kids," he said from the back, "First stop is Mr. Grouse's."

Lori groaned.

"But Dad! He's old and grumpy!" she complained.

"Now girls, I think he would really like it. It's not every day that he gets visitors," he said as he tried to keep up with Lori's breakneck pace.

Mr. Grouse's house was lonely and barren. The lawn was nice—thanks to the help of a volunteering teenager—and the paint was far from dull or chipped, but the lack of decorations made the abode stick out. Not helping matters was the fact that aside from the front porch, the house was dark aside from a single lamp light glowing through the shut curtains covering the window. The only thing even remotely festive about the place was a bowl of licorice and mints that rested on the porch's top step.

"Alright girls, make sure to take only one," Lynn Sr. said as he did so for his youngest girl. It wasn't hard for the others to obey, as they all appeared eager to get off the wooden steps as quickly as possible. The father found it sad that his daughters had no interest in befriending their elderly neighbor.

"Hold on," he said. Rather than freezing, the girls allowed themselves to slow down. Ever so gradually, "Before we leave, I think it would be really nice if we said 'hi' to Mr. Grouse."

Lori didn't even bother trying to protest this time; she had accepted the fact that she was going to have to follow her dad's weird ways.

While holding Lynn, he turned to the door and gave it several hearty knocks. From inside, he heard mumbling and movement. And then, he was greeted to Grouse, appearing as his usual self—sagging shoulders, tight lips, loose cheeks, and bent back.

"Hello Mr. Grouse," Lynn Sr. said with a peppy grin, "We the Loud Family would like to wish you a Happy Halloween!"

Grouse sighed and lowered his head, staring at his welcome mat. It took a mountain of effort to get it back up to face his neighbor.

"Yeah. Just take the candy and go."

Before Lynn Sr. could reply, Grouse slammed the door. He didn't falter, though, as he maintained his cheery attitude as he faced the girls.

"Let's go!" he said, trying to come across as pumped.

The Louds began making their round around the neighborhood, going from door to door and accumulating chocolate, taffy, M&Ns, and other treats. Outside of Mr. Grouse, most of the neighbors were parents and gave the Louds a warm reception from their doorsteps. Lynn Sr. mainly relegated himself to a simple greeting and farewell to these grown-ups, all in an effort of maximizing the kids' candy load.

At one house, the McAllisters, the bowl on the doorstop had a wide array of options, far more than what most people do. Lori decisively snagged a mini Mershey's bar and practically leaped off the porch. In the following ten seconds, most of the other sisters had made their choice. But Leni stared at the bowl and dabbled her hand along the surface of plastic and paper wrappers. Meanwhile, the others were focused purely on the straggler.

"Just pick one already!" Lori exclaimed.

"Lori. Be patient," Lynn Sr. replied.

Mr. and Mrs. McAllister, however, chuckled at the scene.

"So many things to pick from," Mr. McAllister said from his lawn chair, a tight fit for the narrow porch.

"It's okay, Leni. Choose whatever you want," his wife added, throwing on a smile. Although it took another twenty seconds, she eventually settled for a mini Mershey's bar—her twelfth of the night.

"Thank you, have a happy Halloween!" Lynn Sr. said as he waved to the neighbors.

"You too Lynn," Mrs. McAllister said, "And tell Rita I said 'hi'!"

As the Louds continued their trek, they came across other familiar faces. Many of the houses recycled the same decorations, making the neighborhood feel like a bubble frozen in time. Lynn Sr. admired how his community embedded tradition, treating some things as something to be remembered rather than erased by the rapid waves of change.

Although Lori was the one pushing the group along, the momentum halted as she suddenly veered from it.

"Emily! How you doing?" she said, taking off her mask, running up to hug her friend, who was dressed up as Riley from Los Angels.

"Great! I have so much candy!" Emily answered as she presented her bag, which was nearly full.

"Lucky! I should have hit more houses by now, but these babies are slowing me down!"

"Hey!" Luna jeered.

By this point, Lynn Sr. had realized that the boat had been anchored and decided to stir up a conversation with Emily's parents. Meanwhile, the younger sisters were left to wait.

"Let's go!" Luna said.

"Can't you see I'm busy," Lori shot back. She then turned to Emily and rolled her eyes, "Sisters."

"You should have come with me. The two of us could have made it to the other side of town."

"Tell me about it," Lori said. It wasn't that she had forgotten about her friend; she did ask her parents if she could trick-or-treat with Emily instead. Unfortunately, family won out, "But enough about that! Where did you get that costume?"

"The Haunted Mansion," Emily said, showing off the T-Shirt and wig with luscious brown curls that embodied Riley's appearance.

"Did they have Marcy there?" she asked slowly, anxious to learn the answer.

"Yes."

Lori felt her uneasiness evolve into jealously, which then quickly morphed into bitterness. She was ashamed by her costume's tackiness. The notion that her desired outfit—Marcy—was out of reach made it easier to accept the tacky dress, the sad attempt to imitate designer heels, and the mask that acted as an airtight oven. Lori felt robbed of a better experience, all in the name of maintaining the status quo.

"Does this...look good?" she asked, awkwardly putting the plastic mask back on.

"Of course," Emily replied, "Who doesn't like Barbie?"

But Lori knew better. She could tell by her friend's soft and mellow tone that she was just trying to be nice. She couldn't blame her.

"Why thanks," she said, inflating her voice and projecting it through the material layer, "I love Barbie. And I'm gonna get so much more candy with it!"

"That's great. I'm happy for you," Emily said. She then waved to Lori's siblings who, for the most part, weren't paying attention to their conversation.

"Well...I'll let you get back to trick-or-treating. I have so much houses to go to!" Lori declared.

"Okay then," she replied before giving her friend another hug, "Happy Halloween."

After they separated, the two first graders alerted their parents that the travel break was over. Luna rejoiced as she set herself back on the path, although it was Lori who was acting as if she was suffering from the lost trick-or-treating time.

"Hey Luan," Luna said, walking alongside her little sister, "What do you have in there?"

"Uh..." Luan held out as her hand sifted through her bag, "Candy."

Luna peered into the bag and saw the mixture of lollipops, chocolate bars, and taffy. She then got an idea.

"If you give me one of yours, I will give you one of mine," she said grinning.

Luan didn't answer right away. She wasn't sure what would happen if Luna dared snatch one of her prizes. But before she could come to a conclusion, Luna reached into her own bag and pulled out a lollipop.

"I want Mershey's," Luna said, holding the stick up like a dog treat. Luan, however, wasn't salivating at the mere sight of the candy. Not helping matters was the fact that the pop's wrapper said the flavor was random. Luan turned away from her big sister, trying to ignore the offer, "Come on Luan! You love lollipops! Give me a Mershey's!"

"No! I like Mer...sheees," the three-year-old Luan said, fighting the limits of her ability to pronounce words. But even with her outright refusal, Luna pressed on, trying to get the candy bar out of her. Luna started to lose her patience and yelled, threatening to use her hands to take it by force.

"Girls! Stop!" Lynn Sr. interjected as he halted the group. The other sisters watched as Luna was leaning against a crouching Luan trying to steal her candy. He handed Lynn to Lori and went to the quarrel to separate the two. In the midst of this, Leni walked up with her typical expression-less face to the three with her candy bag. She looked in her bag, which was filled with nothing but Mershey bars and took one out. She then held it out in front of Luna.

"Luna, look!" Lynn Sr. said, noticing the gesture, "Leni wants to give you one of her's."

The instigator immediately pried herself off Luan and accepted the wrapped piece of chocolate.

"Thank you," Luna said, her frown having quickly been replaced by a smile. She then dropped it in her bag and presented her loot to Leni, "Here, take one."

But Leni merely went back to her original position; her face didn't move a muscle. Luna found it weird, but she went on.

"She can pick one when we get home."

And so the journey continued as normal—more houses hit, more candy (especially Mershey's bars), and more friendly neighbors greeting Lynn Sr. and the kids. The peace and rhythm of the routine persisted as the night wore on. Luan had even forgotten all about the incident and could enjoy everything Halloween had to offer.

Eventually, they came upon the Santiago house. For the past couple years, Lynn Sr. had always saved this one for last. It was a part of a cul-de-sac entrenched in the middle of the neighborhood. Although many of the houses on it had light decorations, the Santiagos loved to go full out. The entire front of the house was caked in a thick cobweb, a fleshed out vampire was standing on one side of the lawn, and on the other was a giant inflated spider.

As the house came into the Louds' sight, there was a sharp screech. Lynn Sr. jerked back to see Leni screaming. He knelt down beside his second daughter and hugged, all while softly shushing into her.

"It's okay, honey. You don't need to be scared," he said. To add to it, he started rubbing her back. Such actions were natural and fluid for him at this point. But although the screaming halted, Leni's eyes remained like shaking saucers.

"Leni...it's okay," he said, allowing her to see his reassuring face, "It's not a spider. It can't crawl on you. It can't hurt you."

Her breathing, though, remained airy and unsteady. Seeing this, Lynn Sr. gave her a smile and his eyes lit up.

"You know that I am also scared by spiders, but I don't feel scared because there's no spider here," he said, placing one of his hands on her shoulder, "If you want, I can hold your hand as we go here. Would you like that?"

Leni stared at her dad, her face still wrecked by terror. But, she found herself able to open her trembling lips.

"Okay..." she said.

Lynn Sr. then stood up and offered his hand to Leni, who slowly accepted it. With that, the group walked up to the front steps of the Santiago house. Leni dragged her feet at several points, however she was able to move on with the help of her father's words.

At the front porch were the two Santiago parents and their son Bobby, who was dressed as Batman. The most prominent feature was the bump on Mrs. Santiago's stomach. It wasn't as large as Rita's, but it was noticeable.

"At last, the Louds are here!" Mrs. Santiago said, going up to Lynn Sr.; if he was holding an infant and Leni's hand, she would have shook his.

"You did it again! That spider float never fails to spook me," Lynn Sr. said.

"Um...Daddy...I thought...you were not scared..." Leni said, staring up at him to clear her fogged train of thought.

Mrs. Santiago chuckled.

"Oh Lynn, your girl cracks me up."

Lynn Sr. followed to until he looked back down at Leni and tried explaining to her that he was giving a compliment. Unfortunately, Leni didn't smile; she merely stood there, emotionally neutral.

"Hi Lori," Bobby said walking up to her.

"Oh...hi Bobby," she said with uncertainty.

The two of them stood there in silence, trying to think of something to say to each other.

"How about that homework Mrs. Turner gave us?" Bobby said, throwing up a grin, "It was hard..."

"Uh yeah," Lori said, although without the smile. At that moment, she could understand how Leni could walk around with a blank face most of the time.

Before the scene could get more awkward, the others had picked out their candy. Lori darted away, remotely hearing Bobby tell her goodbye. Not much was said of it, though as the Louds made the walk back home.

By the time they returned, trick-or-treating had ended and the streets had mostly cleared out. As they headed inside, the kids went into the kitchen and placed their bags on the kitchen table. Rita told them that they could get unchanged as she and Lynn Sr. examined the mountain of candy for anything suspicious. Because there was so much, the sorting lasted an excruciating twenty minutes—more than enough time to throw off the costumes and chuck them in the closet. The girls remained in their respective rooms aside from Lynn, who was downstairs with the parents. It was a boring twenty minutes, as the girls sat on their beds, silent. What was there to talk about after having one of the most exciting nights of the year and waiting for the real reward to be enjoyed? They all knew what was in store, and enough energy was spent on thinking about the tastes that were to come.

Eventually, the parents called down the girls; as they expected, no wrappers were ripped. The four older girls paced downstairs to the kitchen, where they were greeted by their respective bags.

As they all stood there in the kitchen, Luna went up to Leni.

"Here," she said, holding up her bag, "take one."

Leni wasn't sure how to go about this. She raised her hand and left it in the air, unsure of where to direct it. Luna was patient, though, and gave her big sister all the time she needed to make a choice. After looking for a while, Leni settled for one of the few Mershey bars Luna had acquired. But Luna merely smiled and hugged her sibling.

"Thank you, Leni. You're the best!"

And for the second time that day, Leni smiled back and embraced her sister.

Chapter 9: New Arrival

Snow blanketed the grass surrounding Royal Woods Elementary. Many of the kids loved sledding and playing in it, however the school imposed indoor recess due to the 'unsuitable' weather. Not that Leni minded either way.

Recess had ended, the toys were put away, and the students were sitting on the rug. Mrs. Egan was standing in the front holding up a large cardboard calendar—dotted with hearts and pink and purple letters and numbers.

"Okay kids, now tomorrow is a very special day," the teacher said, using her hand to point to a specific box on the calendar, "tomorrow is February 14, which is Valentine's Day. Have you heard about it?"

Most of the kids were silently staring at Mrs. Egan and her calendar, however a few of them raised their hands.

"Yes Dorothy."

"I watched Spongebob and they were having Vale-Valen-Valen-tine's Day and Spongebob and Patrick were giving stuff like candy and hearts."

Mrs. Egan beamed at her pupil's response.

"Yes. On that day, people do give each other candy, but they also give each other cards and and necklaces and toys and other things that mean a lot to them. Valentine's Day is about showing others that they are special and that you care about them."

One of the boys raised his hand and waved it around in the air. Upon finishing her sentence, the teacher called on him to speak his mind.

"My big sister has a boyfriend a-and she said she is going to be with him on Valen-Val...Valentine's Day."

In the six months they've worked together, Mrs. Egan was well aware about these big brothers and sisters; some of them were former students of her's. And adding onto this was the prominence the subject received family movies and Bizney shows. So naturally, teenage romance wasn't foreign to these five and six years old.

"Well Tyler, Alice's boyfriend is someone that means a lot to her," she said while trying to use the hearts on the calendar as visuals, "and there are a lot of different people that you can show that love to. For you, it could be Alice. It could be your Mom and Dad. It could be me or one of your friends. Heck, it can be all of us at the same time! That's what makes Valentine's Day a wonderful holiday and it would be great if we could all celebrate."

Mrs. Egan rested the calendar on her desk and pointed to the counter lined up against the windows.

"In the back are mini cardboard boxes, construction paper, stickers, markers, crayons, scissors, and glue," she announced. The children turned their heads to try and see the display, "For Valentine's Day, we are all going to make special mailboxes. You can use whatever you like to make your mailboxes show off what makes you you. And then for tomorrow, you can bring in something special to give to each of your classmates."

Leni sat there and was petting Blacky. She had heard of Valentine's Day before, but it seemed like nothing more than grown ups kissing and doing other things she was too young to do. As Mrs. Egan explained it, however, the idea suddenly felt doable and nice. And that made her excited, even if it wasn't enough to make her smile.

"If no one has questions, we can get started."

All the students rose and made their way to the back of the room, grabbing supplies. Leni wasn't one to barge into the crowd, preferring to stand and wait for the others to get what they needed before taking whatever was left. Although this meant she couldn't use scissors or glue for a while, she was left with a surplus of construction paper and markers—particularly pink, white, and turquoise. She took a healthy amount of these colors and a cardboard box before making her way to her seat.

Leni looked at the other kids sitting around her, who were already cutting and making their first artistic decisions. She then looked down to see Blacky on her lap and the supplies she had picked out. For about two minutes she sat there, struggling to think of how to design her mailbox. She tried conjuring images of her sisters, Blacky, Mommy and Daddy, Bun-Bun, Ducky, and other things that made her happy—something that would inspire her.

As her students worked, Mrs. Egan's phone rang. Since she was close to it, she was able to respond quickly.

"Mrs. Egan. How may I help you?"

It was Mrs. Hutchins, the secretary in the main office. The call lasted no more than twenty seconds, but it was long enough for Mrs. Egan to develop sprinkles of excitement and fear.

After putting down the phone, she walked over to one of the tables, where a very particular student was sitting.

"Hey Leni," she said as her lips curled upwards, "Daddy's here to pick you up."

Leni's mouth lowered as she looked up at her teacher's lively eyes.

"But...uh...what about this? I want to make this for...Valen day..." she said meekly. Her head veered away from Mrs. Egan and her eyes found their way to the supplies sprawled across her space.

"It's okay. We won't have Valentine's Day without you. Daddy knows that you want to be there and we'll make sure you won't be left out."

As Mrs. Egan touched the back of her chair, Leni turned back to face her teacher.

"And," she added, stretching her lips further, "Daddy wants you to meet someone very special. He wouldn't pull you out of school unless he knew it would make you happy."

Leni's eyes widened. She then pulled out her chair and got up. Mrs. Egan watched as she marched to do her end-of-the-day routine with swiftness and precision. Within a minute, Leni had her puffy coat and backpack on.

"Goodbye Mrs. Egan!" Leni exclaimed, which startled her classmates but endeared her teacher.

"Have a nice day Leni," she said back.

Right in the hallway was Lynn Sr. and all of her sisters, even the ones who were too young to be in school. Leni's face exploded with joy as she ran up to hug her dad.

"Hey kiddo, how was school?" he asked.

"Good," was all she could say.

He was lost in the moment. It wasn't every day that he saw his second daughter so outwardly excited. Adding onto that was all his children being there, even if they weren't in the embrace. It was a family moment. But it was that revelation that made him snap out of it.

"We gotta go!" he asserted, although the command was betrayed by his loose diction and heavy breathing, "Mommy's waiting for us!"

And with that, the family raced out to the giant blue SUV, which was sloppily parked in the stripped yellow fire lane. Lynn Sr. was relieved that the car wasn't towed in the short time he was in the school, but this was quickly sidelined to his rapid departure. With quick hands, he strapped the younger girls into their baby seats and ordered Lori to handle the rest as he got Vanzilla started. The experienced father—still in his early thirties—jammed the key in the ignition and fired up the engine. There was a blast of digitized sound as the radio came alive, but Lynn Sr. was quick to shut it off. On a tense day like this, music only made things worse.

Vanzilla roared down the road. Lynn Sr. took advantage of Royal Woods's chronic shortage of police officers to push the tanker at least ten miles over the speed limit. His hands were glued to the firm steering wheel. His eyes shot lasers at the horizon.

The uneasiness was too much to bear; the baby Lynn burst into tears.

"Lori. Make her feel better."

The oldest was conveniently sitting next to the youngest. Without a moment to protest, Lori turned to her sister and manifested concern in both her eyes and voice.

"Shh..Shh..." she said with pressed lips and a stern finger attached. Lynn's wailing persisted, though. For a two-year-old, her voice was rather bombastic and shrill. She fit the Loud name rather well—too well.

"Lynn. Lynn," Lori said. She started using her hands to keep her sister's arms in place. She continued trying to say whatever she thought was comforting. Unfortunately, Lynn never calmed down. Lori was frustrated that she—the oldest—was unable to be useful under such urgent circumstances. But she herself didn't lose her cool. The air's bitterness and flush of anxiety created an effect that was quite contrary to what one would expect—an inability to scream, cry, laugh, or let out any lingering thoughts. She may not have been old enough to understand why, but it burnt at her mind like a match.

During all this, Leni sat at her big sister's other side. She tuned out the commotion and gazed out the window, a past time she had grown fond of. She memorized the stains that had accumulated on the glass from years of weathering. She also liked watching the trees, buildings, pedestrians, and signs whizzing past her as Vanzilla sped off. Not even the turbulence could have distracted her from her sight-seeing.

After what felt like an eternity, Vanzilla parked at the hospital and its doors flung open. Lori and Lyhn Sr. swiftly got everyone out and they hustled into the main lobby. The nurse and other clients were drawn from their own worlds to see the gasping spectacle before them, although the former had anticipated their arrival as she pulled out the proper paperwork. Lynn Sr. fumbled with the black pen as he scribbled down all the appropriate information; it was barely legible, but the nurse accepted it.

After five pregnancies, Lynn Sr. knew the procedure like the back of his hand—elevator to third floor, turn right, go down the hall, and sit in the waiting room for the news. Of course, that never made it any easier. And topping it off was the black and white analog clock that towered over the entire room. He had mixed feelings about it.

The room came with a toy box and book shelf, which most of the girls took advantage of. Most of them were quick to pick something to use, to kill time before meeting their new arrival. Leni, however, wandered about the room, pulling books out and looking at them. For each one she grabbed, she stared at the cover for about ten seconds and arbitrarily leafed through some of the pages. Some of the books had illustrations, which consumed her attention for some time. Then she closed it and returned it, sometimes in the middle of the story.

Lori gripped a stuff doll. Now that the atmosphere has relaxed, she found her entire body feeling heavy. She knew it wasn't the flu or a cold, but she lacked any sort of energy.

"It's not fair. I don't want to be here. I don't want to meet him."

She sighed and tried to work up the strength to enjoy the doll's company, even if it wasn't her own. It wasn't easy, but the longer she used her imagination, the easier it became. She envisioned the Bahamas in July with her and her 'gal pal' lying on the warm sand, hearing the gentle waves and birds chirping (she wasn't sure what type though). She fantasized a conversation, even if it was just a series of tangents that were quickly forgotten. It may not have always worked and she may have been plunged back to that dreaded waiting room and the unresolved bitterness resulting from the possibility of missing Valentine's Day. She hated those moments. All she wanted to do was lose herself in her age-appropriate despair.

The door opened to reveal a man wearing blue and white. There were a few red splotches on his outfit, but he was relatively clean. But what Lynn Sr. noticed the most was the smile on his face.

"Mr. Loud," he said, "You and the kids can come in now. Congratulations!"

The father had to use every muscle in his body to stay in control. Even with number seven, the emotional overload hadn't receded. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths—clear his mind. Once he thought he had hold of his reigns, he rose from his chair and turned to his daughters. His beautiful girls that each signified a distinct, heartfelt nine-month wait followed by a unique payoff.

"Girls, let's go," he said simply. The sisters dropped whatever they were doing and rushed to their father. Most of them were smiling as the doctor escorted them down a wide white hallway. The younger sisters were in awe at the unfamiliar sight. Lynn Sr. couldn't help but indulge in the excitement that was awaiting him and his girls.

Eventually, the doctor turned to a door and opened it. He smiled and allowed the family to enter.

Inside was Rita. Her face was drenched in sweat. Her hair was noticeably disheveled. Every part of her skin was redder than a fire hydrant. But upon closer inspection, it became evident that none of that mattered to the mother. Her eyes—even with bags underneath them—revealed a warmth that no Christmas morning could exceed. They looked down on a beat pink baby with gooey brown hair. She held the infant with her arms, which remained strong even after the endless hours of labor.

Lynn Sr. smiled as she approached his bedside. All the while, the younger girls were awwing at the precious sight. Lori, even with her preoccupations, found herself grinning a little at the new addition.

The father turned to Rita and nodded his head. The mother, eager to smile despite her extreme exhaustion, opened her mouth.

"Girls," she said soothingly. Immediately, all the sisters—even Lori—gathered around the bed with open ears.

"Say hi to your brother Lincoln."

Chapter 10: Special Delivery

The family was there for the rest of the day. Lynn Sr. remained by his wife's side, marveling at his first son. After five girls, he had convinced himself that he would never have a kid to play catch with or build something in the garage. Of course, it was perfectly fine if those activities weren't up his son's alley, but it was still exciting to have another man around.

About once an hour, the doctor's had to take the baby away to administer immunizations and check his vitals. It was painful for the couple to be separated from their son; even though the procedures only last two minutes, each time they returned him felt like a gift from God.

Rita was exhilarated. Her mind was overflowing with thoughts, sentiments, and visions of what lies ahead. Lincoln was bound to be another interesting addition to the Loud family. He would grow, cultivate his own interests, embrace his own quirks, and paint his own special way of seeing this beautiful world. She wanted to jump out of this prison cell called a bed and proclaim this right out to him and everyone she knew, but her body cried the opposite. About twenty minutes after the others arrived, she handed the newborn to her husband and took a nap.

Lynn Sr. smiled as he cradled Lincoln. He was a quiet baby, sleeping under his father's watchful eye and unaware of the size and brightness of the room around him. Most of the time, one of his sisters was leaning against the chair's arm, trying to get a good look at him. Thankfully, they were quiet enough to keep little Lincoln in his blissful slumber.

At one point, Leni stumbled up to her mom, who was in the middle of her own nap.

"Mommy," she said, staring right into her drained, unresponsive face.

"Mommy is tired right now, honey," Lynn Sr. said with a gentle smile. He then took one of his free fingers and pointed down at the baby, "Why don't you take a look at your brother?"

Leni turned and approached the two. Her eyes fell onto the newborn and at first, it wasn't clear what expression she was trying to make. Lynn Sr. recalled from past experiences that it took Leni a little longer to learn her siblings' names than Lori or Luna. When the fifth daughter was born, it took Leni a week to learn her name, let alone realize her joy. And even now, Lynn that whatever Leni was trying to do, it most certainly wasn't talking. An opportunity had found itself.

"Say 'hi' to Lincoln," he said, reflecting his encouragement from his eyes.

As she stood there, she suddenly remembered something Mrs. Boxer had taught her—a thing people do when they greet each other. First she imagined it happening, and then she raised her wrist and waved her hand towards the infant.

"Hi Linc...oln," she said. The continuous movement made her feel good. And it was through that another lesson from Mrs. Boxer popped in her head, "My name...is Leni and I am your big sister."

And then after that, she gave a nice smile, showing off her teeth. They were far from what one would see in the movies—some of them were yellow and coated with plaque—but it almost never seemed to matter. Lynn Sr. was enamored by his children's smiles, no matter how much—or little—they brushed their teeth.

Leni then reached her hand towards Lincoln and rested it on the blanket wrapping him.

"Be gentle. You wouldn't want to hurt him," Lynn Sr. requested through his hushed voice.

She was never regarded as the gold standard of coordination. Lori was used to seeing her little sister and roommate dropping things, holding objects in a way no one else does, having a posture that was either strange or unsettling. Even when she was walking, it wasn't uncommon for Leni to bounce or stumble from her uneven strides. But then when it came to limited and particular situations, she acquired an uncanny level of precision and purpose. Her hand caressed Lincoln's tummy just enough for it to make his body relax but light enough to keep him asleep. It didn't stop there, though. Her fingers were fused together to form a smooth, slightly curved shape. It was as if she knew that would guarantee the greatest amount of comfort to Lincoln.

Minutes went by of Leni rubbing her brother continuous, never daring to break his sleep. It was a scene like that that reaffirmed Lynn Sr.'s confidence in Lincoln being included among his siblings, even if none of them will be able to relate to the boy-specific matters that lied ahead.

Eventually, Luan made her way over to the chair to get another look at her little brother. Her big sister, however, was completely entrenched in the massage she was giving.

"Leni," Lynn Sr. said tenderly, "Why don't you give Luan a turn with Lincoln?"

She continued. Her small smile was frozen in place, the rhythm her hand made never faltered, her eyes didn't even flinch.

Lynn Sr. was disturbed by this. He turned to Luan, whose eyes clearly desired one-on-one time with Lincoln. He then turned back to his second-oldest daughter with her feet planted on the floor and lost in her own world.

"Leni. Your little sister really wants to see Lincoln right now. Why don't you let her...you know scoot in?" he asked tentatively. It wasn't that he lacked a backbone, but the air around him was stifling. Nearby were two people resting and he wouldn't dare wake them up. To yell would most surely disturb the peace.

But then Luan started tapping her foot and wrapping her fists around the chair's arm. Lynn Sr. felt the tension accumulate. Sweat threatened to break from his pores as he continued to get through to his second-oldest daughter, even if his pleas fell on deaf ears and blind eyes. At one point, he considered using one of his hands to pry her's away. That would surely get the message through, but then he hesitated. Leni may have been immersed in her own bubble, but doing something so drastic posed the risk of making her...react.

Lynn Sr. merely sat there, trying to think of a better way to give her other child a chance to spend time with her brother. So many dead-end thoughts flashed through his that nothing of substance could emerge.

"It's my turn, Leni!"

Luan's fist were shaking within their grips, adrenaline raced through her blood, and her limbs felt ready to lunge at her big sister. But even with that, such force wouldn't be necessary. Rita and Lincoln shot awake. Everyone stared at her. The bubble was burst.

Lincoln was the first to reply as he burst into tears. Lynn Sr. started cradling the baby and tried hushing him down. Leni and Luan both recoiled from the chair, the former propped up her Ducky arms. Any emotion either of the two girls experienced was blown away by Lincoln's wailing. The other kids, who were sitting on the other side of the room, had a mixture of reactions to the pandemonium.

"Nice going, you two," Lori sneered.

Moments afterward, the baby calmed down. Lynn Sr. cast him a smile, using one of his fingers to wipe away the tears. He then turned to Luan, whose face was mangled by shame.

"Luan, it's okay. You can be with Lincoln now," he said, having conquered the uncertainty that plagued him earlier. But instead, she stepped back and turned away from them. She lowered herself and huddled on the tile floor.

"What's wrong, honey?" he asked, getting up with Lincoln and kneeling down beside his fourth daughter.

"I'm sorry for wa...waking Linc..Lin...coln," Luan made out, fighting her loose lips and shortness of breath. Her father then noticed that her eyes were squeezed shut and her cheeks were reddening. He knew he needed to act quickly.

"Well look who's here to see you," he said, holding up his son. Luan opened her eyes and wiped them. She then turned to see the newborn just inches from her. Lincoln may not have been able to keep his eyes open, but she didn't care.

"He's so c-cute," she said, giggling. Rather than rubbing him, she peered over him, watching him drift back into sleep. That was enough to make her happy, which is more than Lynn Sr. could have hoped.

Leni stood by the window, keeping up her Ducky arms. She watched the scene unfold, her face lacking color or expression.

"Nice going, you."

At seven o'clock, Lynn Sr. and the five girls went home for the night. It was hard having to say goodbye to Mom and Lincoln, but Lynn Sr. promised all of them that they would be heading back the next afternoon, Valentine's Day.

On that morning, he bundled up all the girls and took them out to Vanzilla. The three younger ones were confused and tired, forcing him to carry them out and buckle them in. Once in control, he pulled out of the driveway and turned on a kids CD to entertain Luna, Luan, and Lynn.

"Do we have to go to school?" Lori protested, crossing her arms.

"Yes, honey," he warmly replied, "Mrs. Turner told me you and your class are having a special party for Valentine's Day. That sounds like it'll be a lot of fun."

The eldest daughter huffed. She knew she wasn't crazy about having a brother and it wasn't like she wanted to sit around, being bored for hours on end. But then her younger siblings—the ones too young for school—started smiling and laughing. They felt like daggers sinking into her skin. She envied the fact that they had nothing to worry about—no school to bog them down. She then turned to Leni, who was staring out the window and twiddling her thumbs.

"At least I'm not alone." she thought to herself.

Vanzilla pulled up at Royal Woods Elementary. The tires came to a stunning halt, forcing everyone forward. Lynn Sr. was used to such quirks; they were just one part of what made the car special. Planting his foot on the brake and allowing the engine to continue its roar, he twisted himself back.

"Okay, you two. Have a nice day," Lynn Sr. said above the noise, "I love you."

Neither of them responded, though. Lori helped Leni unbuckle and get out of the car. Once outside Vanzilla, the daily routine had been restored—Leni's big sister held her hand, walked her in, and dropped her off at Mrs. Egan's. On most days it was a silent affair, nothing more than an obligation.

"Good bye," Lori said as they stood in front of the closed classroom door, the last step of the procedure. She usually waited about ten seconds in the hope of getting a response out of Leni. It was always uncomfortable—especially when she never got a reply or even a hand wave—, but she perpetually imagined mom urging her to do it every day. It was a nagging voice that held onto her mind even when none of her parents were around.

Today, Leni didn't do anything. She looked at Lori as if she were an artifact at the museum, ambivalent to its various features. She remained there as Lori turned and walked away without any further acknowledgement. She stared at her older sibling as she slowly petered out of sight. Once she was gone, she turned the knob and entered the room.

The room looked different. Along the back wall was a line of decorated boxes. Leni made her way to it to see some of the finer details. Each of them was coated in glitter and stickers, had sloppily cut pieces of construction paper, and had a name on them. They each had a personality that could be detected from the choice of supplies; some of them were flooded with stickers while others had simple pencil and crayon drawings.

As she remembered the events at school from yesterday, she felt a minor sting. Her curiosity propelled her from one box to the next, only for the sensation to deepen. It started to hurt, even if her face barely moved. A noise echoed off her eardrum, but the burgeoning burn blocked it out. Her eyes darted at the remarkable touches her classmates put into their Valentine's mailboxes.

But then it halted. She froze as she stopped at one particular entry. Around its edges was a white border, which was unusually well-cut—the wave-like humps were smooth enough to act as a road. Covering the background was the turquoise. Along the top, a white banner ran on top of the turquoise with Leni's name written in an aquamarine marker. At the bottom was a pink cut-out of a familiar face. Unlike the other boxes, it's clear that a careful hand was responsible for the figure; a black marker went the extra mile of including eyes and an open-mouth grin. Beside it was a small white box with the words "Yup yup yup" written in a pink marker. Leni stared at it. Her anxiety fizzled away.

"Good morning, Leni," Mrs. Egan said, smiling, as she walked up to her student. She quickly observed her behavior, "Do you like it?"

On cue, the girl's lips curled up, cheerfully closed her eyes, and she raised her Ducky arms.

"Yup yup yup!"

Mrs. Egan chuckled. Ever since Leni started imitating the character, she found it charming. Indeed, her gift had been a success. As she pondered how the rest of the day would play out, she decided to continue the conversation.

"How was your day yesterday? Did you meet someone special?"

"Yup yup yup!" she exclaimed before re-opening her lids, "I have a little brother now! His name is Lin...Lin..." her smile then dropped as she dug through her mind in search of that beloved name.

"Is his name Lincoln?" she asked.

"Yup yup yup!" she said as her memory re-activated.

Mrs. Egan smiled once again.

"I'm happy that you are happy. And I know that Mommy, Daddy, and your sisters are happy to meet your brother too. Maybe you should make a Valentine for Lincoln," she suggested.

Leni stood there. Her mind wasn't thinking too much about something that appeared so hypothetical. The idea of a Valentine still seemed beyond her reach. Regardless, she smiled at Mrs. Egan's warm radiance.

The other kids entered and put away their coats and backpacks. Some of the students were discussing their Valentine's on top of their usual banter. Leni, however, simply took her seat and waited for Mrs. Egan to start teaching.

"Happy Valentine's Day everyone," Mrs. Egan said. Just like that, the chatter settled down, "I hope you are all looking forward to give out your cards and goodies today. But before we do that, Leni,"

The teacher then turned to the student in question.

"Do you want to tell your friends the exciting news you have?"

All of those juvenile eyes immediately turned to Leni. Her throat tightened, a feeling that was unfamiliar to the young girl. She knew that talking was far from her strong suit and conflicted with her nature. She was tempted to keep up what she found comfortable, to sit there and let the matter either be forgotten or for someone else to act on her behalf. But then she made contact with Mrs. Egan. Something about her teacher's gaze—the serenity that her gave off, the encouragement that emanated from her eyes—made her vocal chords relax.

"I...have a baby brother now."

The kids nearby started congratulating her, telling her stories about their own brothers. Leni suddenly felt a burdensome weight in her chest. This didn't feel right. To her, it was scary and unsettling. Mrs. Egan, however, smiled at the scene.

"It sounds like you all are pretty happy," she said to the class.

"I have a little brother too! And...he likes Hot Wheels!" one boy exclaimed.

"Mine likes Pokemon!" another replied.

"Well I got mine into Princess Pony," one girl said slyly, "Leni should do the same with her's."

Most of the kids shivered and groaned upon hearing that dreaded title; even some of the girls found that schmaltz to be overkill. But even as this was going on, Leni merely sat there stone-faced, not really listening to what any of her classmates were saying. Her mind instead fixated on Lincoln. After one afternoon in that hospital room, she became excited at the prospect of seeing again to rub his adorable tummy.

After some more group conversation, Mrs. Egan extended her arms in some grand gesture to silence the masses.

"We will have time later to talk about our families. Now, let's put all of the Valentines we made into the mailboxes," she said, pointing to the long line of them hung from the wall.

A flood of kids rose from their seats and made their way to their backpacks. Leni stumbled her way to the crowd and, once again, waited for the clump to disperse. Once it did, she sorted through her bag until she pulled out a pink piece of construction paper. Looking down at her work was enough to make the young girl smile.

Holding it, she made her way to the mailboxes, where the rest of the class was. From the back, she read the names on all of them in the hopes of finding a particular one. With so many boxes lined up, one of them had to be correct. Sadly, though, none of them were.

"I see you've made a Valentine," Mrs. Egan said as she walked up to her, "Who is it for?"

After mustering the will to speak before the whole class, Leni felt drained. It was as if she had run several laps around the playground. Instead, she merely shrugged and handed the card over to the teacher.

It was a pink heart with the words "Happy Valitimes Day Linkun" written in purple marker. While there were no extra ingredients on it—no glitter, no extra pieces of construction paper, no drawings—the handwriting was extraordinarily neat, as Leni's work usually was. Mrs. Egan felt it had to be as good as a fourth grader. Not only that, but the edges were smooth; the heart shape was simply immaculate.

"Leni, this is wonderful," she said, smiling, "You should take this to the hospital and give it to Lincoln yourself. He will love it!"

Mrs. Egan then gently handed back the card.

"Why don't you look in your mailbox? Maybe someone gave you a Valentine."

Leni turned to the line of boxes, where the crowd was starting to disperse one kid at a time. Seeing this as an opportunity, she walked over to her box. Upon reaching it, though, she was unsure how to look inside. If it was stuck to the wall, the only way to see was to stick her hand in. Doing so, she fiddled it around the cardboard interior until her fingers felt a piece of paper. She pulled it out to reveal a white heart with beautiful calligraphy and drawings on it. One of which was of Ducky.

"You are amazing. You are special. Never let anyone bring you down. Always be yourself and there will be people that will love you.

Happy Valentine's Day!

- Mrs. Egan"

Leni didn't know what to say. She wasn't expecting anyone to give her anything, given the fact that she never talked to anyone. But the drawing of ducky, the beautiful blend of colors, and those words were more than enough.

And it made her smile.

Chapter 11: Coming Out

As February melted in March, life in the Loud house began to accustom to the new normal. Rita was bound to the house, focusing most of her energy on the latest arrival. Each day would start at sevenwake up, feed Lincoln, help her husband get the girls ready, give them each a kiss as they left, cradle, take phone calls from the office, feed Lincoln, work with Lynn Sr. to care for the girls, feed Lincoln, spend time with the whole family, tuck him into his criband end at nine. Of course, there were also the errands. During all the kids' early months, there were more than a few times when she asked to help Lynn Sr. out, given how he was forced to act as both parents to the older ones. Her husband, however, gave a confident grin and insisted that she was the one with the weight of the world of her shoulders. Sure she found it charmingand it wasn't like taking care of an infant was any easy featbut even the house and daily routine can get dull.

After being out of the hospital for two weeks, Rita was confronted by Lori. Her eldest daughter begged her to have a sleepover with Emily, something she had yearned for the past four months. It had been a while since someone else had visited the home, someone that was outside the gelling status quo. And besides, it was unfair to stretch Lori's patience for so long. Rita granted it.

The big night arrived soon enough, on the first Friday of March.

"This is gonna be great!" Lori exclaimed as she sorted through various boxes in her room. Leni lied on her bed, holding Bun Bun, "You have no idea how fun tonight is gonna be. Do you know why?"

Her little sister was barely paying attention, though. Leni mostly stared at her doll, focusing on the individual fibers that make up its fur. She was drawn to how its material felt warm and soft in her hands and made the design look adorable.

"Leni, look up!" Lori said. Just like that, her sister plopped Bun Bun on her tummy and sat up, "Is this how you're gonna be tonight when Emily comes over?"

She stared at Lori for a solid few seconds before shrugging.

"Well you can't! You are going to hang out with the two of us and I don't want you doing or saying anything weird. Got it?!"

No answer. To Lori, her sister's gaze irritated her incessently. After impatiently waiting several seconds on the false hope of getting some kind of response, she sighed.

"Now when Emily gets here, the first thing we're gonna do is watch the new episode of Los Angels and I want you to be able to talk about it with her. So, here's what you have to know," Lori said. Disregarding her sister's blank expression, she continued, "So over this past season, Josh and Marcy are dating, which is a very bad thing. Josh is rude and bad. But last week, Josh messed up big time when he took another girl to the Spring Social and kissed her right in front of Marcy. Now, we'll see if Marcy will make the right decision and break up with him."

Before she could outline the rest of the itinerary, though, the doorbell rang.

"She's here!" Lori proclaimed, her smile widening, "Let's go."

She grabbed Leni's hand and ripped her from her bed; the motion was so fast, that she accidently dropped Bun-Bun. Lori rushed down the stairs, dragging Leni like a blanket. Upon reaching the bottom step, she lunged for the door knob and twisted it. Sure enough, waiting out there was Emily and her mom.

"Hi Emily! Hi Mrs. Burke," Lori said, locking her hands behind her back with a grin.

"Hi Lori and Leni," Emily replied as she cheerfully held her blanket and pillow. It was evident by her smile and upright posture that she had been just as patient for this evening as Lori has.

"It's nice to see you two," Mrs. Burke said, "I was wondering if I could speak to one of your parents."

Lori nodded.

"Of course," she said. She then turned away, directed towards to the living room, "Mom! Dad! Come over here!"

Lynn Sr. was the first to emerge. He confidently approached Mrs. Burke and shook her hand. Not long after, Rita came in carrying Lincoln.

"Aw! He's so cute! Congratulations, you two," Mrs. Burke said as she saw the mother come in.

"Can I see? Can I see?" Emily demanded as her eyes and smile widened. Seeing the girl's reaction was enough for the Loud parents to mirror her joy.

"Thank you," Rita said as she presented Lincoln for the two Burkes to see. Both of them took that opportunity; they aw'ed and cooed to new baby, who giggled at all the affection he was receiving. Lori, meanwhile, rolled her eyes.

"How does it feel having six kids running around?" Mrs. Burke asked playfully.

"Well it's a full-time job, but they're all our special bundles of joy."

"Things are never boring around here," Lynn Sr. added, as all the nuances of his daily routine came to mind.

As the four parents continued talking, the children got bored; even Emily lost interest as the subject shifted from baby Lincoln. The two friends agreed to go into the other room and settle down. Upon seeing the girls starting to walk away, Leni instinctively followed them.

"I'm so excited for the new episode!" Emily said, her face puckered with anticipation.

"Me too! Marcy is literally gonna dump him," Lori said. Her eyes then darted to her sister, who was standing nearby, "Am I right, Leni?"

The two friends turned to the younger girl as she opened her mouth.

"I thought...you wanted them to break up. Why would Marcy...like...dump trash all over him?" she said slowly.

Lori sighed as she regretted her word choice. Emily, however, chuckled and gave her a nice grin.

"Oh Leni, dump is just another way of saying break up. Come to think of it, I didn't know that you liked Los Angels. I'm glad that Lori has been getting you to watch it with her," she said. To boot, she even cast Lori a glance of acknowledgement. Leni didn't smile back, though. She looked confused.

"I have...haven't seen it...Lori only told me about it today because...she wants me to watch it with you..."

"Well you're gonna love it," Emily replied, "Los Angels is my favorite show and you picked just the right moment to start. After tonight, it's gonna be your favorite show too."

Emily faced Lori, who looked well-assured. Even with the addition of a third member, nothing felt abnormal to either of them. Or at least at the moment. It was then, however, that Emily's parents made their way over to them.

"We're heading out honey. Now listen to what Mr. and Mrs. Loud say. And don't be up too late," her dad said.

"And remember to have fun. It's a special night for you, kids," her mom added.

And with that, they both surrounded Emily and gave her hugs, kisses, and "I love you's". Emily's cheeks blushed a little, embarrassed that her parents were doing this in front of Lori. But soon enough, they broke away and gave their last goodbyes before exiting. At last, the true fun could begin.

Lori and Emily sat down at the couch together. As the former grabbed the remote and flipped on the TV, the latter saw Leni, who was standing and looking out the window.

"Hey Leni," Emily said. Surprisingly, it didn't take long for the girl to turn to her. With her audience's attention, she patted an open cushion on the couch with a smile, "why don't you sit down with us? We would really like it."

She froze for a moment. As much as she liked the offer, she felt a force that planted her feet to the carpet. There were several questions floating in her mind. Was the offer real? Was it really being directed at her? Why would Lori's friend want her company? But after seeing Emily's lips curled upward in such a natural way, she found it a little easier to make her way to the open cushion.

The show was set to start in ten minutes. At the moment, it was playing a rerun of the previous Los Angels episode, which Lori had described to her. On the screen, Leni saw two girls putting on expensive dresses, doing each other's hair, and talking about flip phones and email. Although much of the dialogue seemed like pointless banter to her, her eyes quickly became glued to the clothing. Both of them had flashy sequins that made the whole frame sparkle. One of the girls adorned a bold violet while the other was wearing a more subtle shade of blue. Leni became so wrapped up in the clothing design that she missed Lori's commentary.

The rest of the episode went by in a similar fashion. Sure there was talking and events happening, but all Leni was focused on was the colors of everyone's attire. She couldn't explain why this was the point of interest, but it was and nothing else mattered.

When the big cliffhanger happened, Lori and Emily gasped, as if they had seen that climatic moment for the first time once again. Unfortunately for them, they were punished with a five minute commercial break before the new episode began.

"Oh my gosh! I'm gonna die!" Lori cried as she stared at the screen.

"I can't believe that Josh would do such a thing," Emily said bashfully. Lori jerked her head to her.

"I told you he was bad news!"

"He was so mean..."

"You didn't want to believe me!"

"To think...that he was cute...I don't know what to think anymore..." Emily said. Her mouth was agape and her eyes were wide enough to drive a convertible through. She then turned to Leni, who was a statue, "What do you think Leni? I know you've only seen a couple minutes of this, but what are your first thoughts?"

Leni shrugged.

"The dresses are pretty..." she said with her eyes still on the screen. She watched as the big logos and fast editing of the commercials zoomed by. All the while, she started thinking more and more about the colors she saw at the dance. She thought about how they came together, how they contrasted, how they made herself feel.

"Isn't Josh literally the worst?" Lori asked, looking over to her sister. Sadly, though, she didn't really get a response; Leni just kept staring at the screen, as if the episode were already on. She wanted to ask again, but then she realized what was happening. Leni was in her bubble again—her thick, plastic sanctuary.

Before the two fans knew it, the theme song began playing. Virtually all the sound in the room came from the TV, or at least from what Emily and Lori heard. Leni, meanwhile, slouched forward and used her arms to hold up her head.

The episode began with the same people wearing the same clothes as the last episode. They stood around and it looked like the girl in the light blue dress got a face that Mrs. Boxer said is anger. Leni gave herself a point for figuring that one out. But then that girl walked off and it was the next day. Now the same girl was wearing everyday clothes and there were a lot more colors on it. To Leni, the outfit may not have been as nice as the dress, but the colors wrapped her in anyway. It looked like she was sad, but Leni knew that she couldn't hug her; she tried that before with other people on the TV screen. As this scene went on, she heard the two friends sitting next to her chatting it up, but she didn't want to pay attention to it. It was colors first and faces second.

The episode was mostly routine. In every scene, everyone was wearing a different set of clothes and faces. There were times where she couldn't make out what a person was feeling because they weren't smiling or crying or shouting or imitating any face on Mrs. Boxer's cards. In those moments, she entirely fixated herself on the colors. One of the girls owned stuffed animals, however, and even with Lori's jeering, Leni found herself paying attention to those furry plushies when they appeared on screen.

The last ten minutes of the episode had the girl and the boy in a room for some reason. The girl had a light blue sweater on, the same shade as her dress from the dance. The guy was wearing a crimson T-shirt. There were only a few instances where Leni could detect the emotion one of them was feeling, but such an observation was made almost entirely on the facial features as opposed to other factors. Admittedly, she started getting bored after a while and leaned back as the rest of the scene played out. Eventually, the two of them hugged each other and kissed.

"No!"

Leni twisted her head to see Lori, whose face is most certainly angry. Emily's, though, was pretty hard to make out.

"Maybe they'll be a twist in the last minute," Emily said.

"It can't! It's over! All that waiting and they stay together!"

Leni turned back to the screen, where the two characters were still hugging as the end credits began rolling. Seeing this, she got up and waddled her way to her big sister with her arms extended.

"Now's not the time, Leni," Lori said bitterly.

"You need...a hug."

"No I don't."

But even with Lori's protests, Leni leaned into her and wrapped her arms around her torso. Lori, though, still frowned and her eyes shot daggers at that still frame of Marcy and Josh's embrace.

"Maybe next season, right?" Emily said, forcing up a smile.

"Whatever," Lori said, sighing. She then grabbed the remote and punched the off button.

"So what do you wanna do now?"

"Wanna head upstairs?"

Without verbal acknowledgement, the two friends rose and began walking towards the staircase. Leni, however, remained on the couch, looking around. As the two neared the stairs, Emily looked back and noticed this.

"Hey Leni. Do you wanna join us?" she asked warmly.

Sure enough, the little sister got up, albeit slowly. She walked, occasionally tumbling, as she approached the waiting Lori and Emily. Once they were all together, the trio headed up the wooden steps. As they got closer to the second floor, however, they could hear noises and giggles. Although each of the other sisters were alone in their rooms, they made quite the noise with all of their toys.

Upon reaching their room and closing the door, some of the excess sound had been cut off. Emily had only been in Lori and Leni's room one other time, which was over a year ago. Still, she was impressed by how comfy and feminine everything looked. The room had a noticeable amount of blue and pink on the walls and furniture, plastic dolls mixed in with stuffed animals, a representation of Bizney's assortment of 'teenage girl' things and cuddly things.

"Did you want to play Barbies?" Emily asked, observing Lori's on her bed.

"Sure," she replied.

The two plopped themselves on the ground. Lori crawled her way to the nearby closet and began pulling out various accessories. Before either of them knew it, their space was littered with pink plastic constructs and other things—the Barbie convertible, brushes, benches, dresses, costumes, purses, shoes.

Meanwhile, Leni picked up Bun-Bun and lied down on her bed. She closed her eyes and started snuggling with it. Feeling its squishy body made her feel fuzzy on the inside, even if it wasn't enough to make her smile on the outside. She took slow and deep breaths as she tried to immerse herself into her own special meditation with her doll.

"Hey Leni," Lori said, her voice having lifted itself from her earlier frustration. She leaned up and saw her sister looking at her, "Why don't you join us? Give Barbies a try."

Leni squeezed Bun-Bun as she got up and found a seat in between the two friends. Lori was holding her Barbie and Emily was using two of the extras.

"So Leni. Which one do you want?" Emily asked as she held out the two plastic dolls. They each looked identical—blue eyes, white smile, and bendable joints. After staring at them for a moment, she lowered her head and hugged Bun-Bun.

"You can't use that," Lori said, annoyed, "You have to use one of the Barbies."

But she didn't listen. She tightened her grip on her precious stuffed animal. For the second time that night, Lori realized that she was in the midst of a losing battle. Emily, though, maintained a smile.

"It's okay, Leni. You can use your bunny if you want," Emily said, placing a hand on her shoulder, "we can make a special game out of it. That way, we can all have fun together."

Leni lifted her head and nodded.

"Okay," Emily said, "how about the bunny is a cutie and the Barbies are trying to win his heart."

She looked back down at her stuffed doll and squeezed it. All she could feel was cotton throughout every portion of it. She looked back up, clearly confused.

"What's a...heart?" she asked.

"The Barbies are just trying to get the bunny to fall in love with one of the Barbies."

Once again, there was a long period of awkward silence. Lori was used to it and normally she would be more accepting of it, but it was a little more irritating knowing that her friend had to sit through it as well. Sometimes, she wondered why her sister couldn't just pick up on stuff.

"Barbies don't feel love," Leni said.

"But for now, we're just pretending. Of course, Barbie can't feel love because it's just a doll. But if we act like they do. It makes playing with them a lot of fun."

Leni stared at Emily with her lips clumsily loose and her eyes unfocused. Although it took her several more seconds to process, she eventually reached a conclusion and nodded her head.

"I think I get it now..." she said. She then held up her doll as if she were presenting it to a large audience, "I talk to Bun-Bun a lot and we have...fun and friends from...doing that..."

Lori felt the need to restrain herself from rolling her eyes, but couldn't help but be relieved by Emily's grin.

"Well I think that's great. Bun-Bun is about to meet some new friends."

"Okay..."

The three of them got a good grip on their toys and started playing.

"Hi there," Lori said, setting up her Barbie next to Bun-Bun, "What's your name, mister?"

"Bun-Bun. And what's your name Lori?" Leni asked with conviction.

"No, Leni. Don't call me Lori during this. I'm supposed to be someone else right now," she said. She saw how her sister's eyes were starting to show signs of light, which made her grin a little.

"Okay. And, like, what's your name?"

"Barbie. Thanks for asking," Lori replied. Similar to Leni, she too started to get more into the act, "Wanna take a ride in my car?"

"You bet!"

Lori slid her doll into the tiny pink convertible. Since Bun-Bun was too big to fit, Leni plopped her behind the toy. As she dragged the car, the hand holding Bun-Bun moved along with it.

"You are adorable you know. Has anyone ever told you that?" Lori asked.

"Yes. I've been told by...um...like," Leni paused to think of a good pseudonym, "...Ducky that I'm super cute and fluffy and huggy!"

Eventually, Lori stopped the car next to Emily's Barbie and pulled her's out.

"This is my friend Barbie," Lori said, "Barbie, this is Bun-Bun."

"It's nice to meet you," Emily said. She then looked up and saw Leni truly smile for the first time in a while. There was something heartwarming when she did it that made Emily's lips curl up as well. Emily wished that Leni was more expressive; to her, it was really sweet.

"Thanks," Leni cheered, "You know, Barbie, your friend said that I was really cute. Is that true?"

"Yes. I could hug you so much right now!"

"And I could hug you too, but I am too big and I might squish you."

"Don't worry about that," Emily said, looking up at Leni, "I can take hugs from anyone."

Lori looked onto this, though, and came up with a new idea. She moved her doll closer to the two.

"What about me, huh," Lori said, putting on a faux jealously, "I thought you wanted to hug me!"

"Uh...yes..." Leni said, hesitating. Her voice tightened and her smile faltered a little, "Of course...I...like...love you both. And I'm gonna hug you both!"

Leni then lifted Bun-Bun and planted it over both of the Barbie dolls, whom Lori and Emily pressed side by side, and shook it around for a few seconds. To add to it, Leni included a little buzzing sound. After that, she pulled it away.

"Thanks Bun-Bun," Lori said, "I really liked that! You are a great hugger!"

"I agree," Emily said.

By now, Leni's grin was as wide as it was when she first saw baby Lincoln several weeks earlier. Lori felt it was quite a sight to behold, even if she herself sometimes found happiness to be sappy.

"Kids, it's dinner time!" Lynn Sr. announced from downstairs.

Even with this declaration, none of the girls moved at first; it was if they were all waiting for one of them to act and take the lead.

"Leni. You can go down first. Emily and I will be down in a minute," Lori said gently, carrying a reassuring grin.

"Yup yup yup!" Leni chirped, lifting up her Ducky arms. As she carried that smile, the youngest of the trio got up and left the room. Lori waited a few seconds for her sister to leave earshot.

"Hey Emily. I'll probably be saying this a few times during the night, but," Lori said, "thanks for letting Leni hang out with us. I think it's really helping her come out of her shell."

Emily smiled upon hearing this.

"You're welcome," she said, standing up, "I think it's cute that you're looking out for her like that. You're a great big sister."

Lori blushed. It was a little embarrassing; she wasn't one to cave in to schmaltz, but she couldn't help it.

"You know," she said, giggling, "it always helps to be more accepting of others. Especially to Josh."

Even with her cheeks red from happiness and her voice on the verge of laughter, Lori found it in her to shout out in the most comical way

"Hey!"

Chapter 12: Joke Book

The months went by, the air continued to warm up, and Lincoln grew as almost any other boy did. He gained weight and his motor skills were improving, but his dirt brown hair began changing when he was about a month old. Piece by piece, Lincoln's scalp began paling in color to a rather unusual degree. By August of his birth year, much of his hair was close to gray with only tints of brown remaining; there were some patches, though, that had already become as white as the snow that lied on the ground when he was born. The parents took their precious Lincoln to a doctor to see if it indicated an ailment. Extensive examinations failed to produce an explanation for the hair color, but they found that the baby was healthy. Relieved, normal life in the Loud house continued.

As his arms and legs became strong enough to crawl, Rita slowly integrated him into his sisters' play time, much to their delight. Each day, she would allow Lincoln's siblings to interact with him under her watchful eye.

All of them sat in the living room. Rita held Lincoln as she and most of the others surrounded them, giggling. Lori had her Barbie, Leni had Bun-Bun, Luna had a farm animal wheel, Lynn had a rattle, and Luan was reading from a joke book she had recently got at her fourth birthday party. Lynn Sr. had bought it, unsure how his fourth daughter would react to it. Luckily, it seemed the gamble was paying off.

"Okay, okay," Luan said between gasps for air, "How about this one? What do you call somebody with no body and just a nose?"

Her effort to leave room for silence was squandered by her inability to contain her laughter. Regardless, her mother, three older sisters, and two younger siblings were eager to hear the precious punchline.

"Nobody knows!"

Immediately, Rita, Lori, Luna, Luan, and Lynn burst out chuckling. The fellow comedian felt herself smiling at the warm reception she had received ever since she started reading from that precious tome.

Seeing another opportunity, she knelt up to Lincoln, sitting upright on his mother's lap. Using her nimble fingers, she picked at his face before swiping her hand back. With a grin, she presented two of her digits pinched before her brother. That unified form proved simple enough to attract his young, awe-struck eyes.

"I got your nose, Lincoln!"

Luan then contorted her hands and pointed straight at her brother's attentive face. She inched her extended finger towards the tip of nose until it was squished up against it. Upon making contact, she opened her excited mouth.

"Boop!"

And just like that, the five off them roared out in guffaws once more. This time, though, little Lincoln smiled and began laughing himself. The sound of his cheery, high-pitched guffaws made Luan feel jittery—a special type of warmth she had never felt before. Was this what it meant to be a big sister? Does it always feel this good to make a baby happy? The four-year-old didn't give any thought to these questions; she was far too fuzzy to be critical of this moment.

"Tell another one, Luan," Luna said, her voice filled with anticipation.

"Funny!...funny!" Lynn cheered with her eyes clenched and smile too wide to control.

Turning towards the rest of her siblings, Luan rushed to her book and her eyes scanned for another great punchline. Internally, she cursed the fact that each page had an abundance of knockouts; they were all so good that she found immense difficulty picking one to do first. To help this problem, she resorted to spitting out the first one she saw.

"What do you call a fake noodle?"

Silence.

"An impasta!"

Once again, the majority began giggling at the pun's utter silliness. Even Lincoln, who couldn't understand the jokes, succumbed to his mother and older sisters' laughter. Seeing those people happy made Luan fuzzy on the inside.

Meanwhile, Leni sat there with Bun-Bun resting on her lap. Although the others around her were chuckling, her face failed to break from its default blankness. She stared wide-eyed at each of her siblings' reactions, struggling to understand its meaning.

"What did Mrs. Boxer say this was?"

She knew that some expressions, feelings, and vibes were powerful enough to affect her own face. But something about these contortions, throat hacking, and choppy breathing made it too complicated for her to replicate, especially in the absence of the subliminal urge.

"What did the policeman say to his belly button?...You're under a vest!"

"What would bears be without bees?...Ears!"

"What did the wall say to the ceiling?...I'll meet you at the corner!"

"Why can't a nose be twelve inches long?...Because then it would be a foot!"

Every punchline got at least one person to laugh. Rita and Lori guffawed at all of them. Lynn and Luna didn't quite understand all the words or concepts, but they chuckled anyway. Leni, though, was stoic. Never once did she even smile. And with each successive joke, Luan found herself staring more and more at her second big sister. By the nose-foot joke, the little comedian looked up from the book following its delivery.

"Leni, don't you get it?" she asked, somewhat nervously.

"Get...what?" she replied. At this point, Leni's eyes were focused on her sister's like laser beams.

"My jokes. Do you find them funny?"

Luan felt her joy slipping into uncertainty, as if Leni's opinion was powerful enough to trump the consensus of her other family members. To her, the approval of all three of her big sisters meant an awful lot.

"No."

That one word stung at her. All she wanted to do was make others happy. And right there, it appeared as if her older and wiser sister had rejected her efforts, as if it wasn't enough.

"I think it's really funny, Luan," Rita said, casting her soft gaze onto her daughter.

"You're great! You should do it more!" Luna added.

Hearing Luna's compliment helped a little, just enough for her to open the book to a new page. The printed words, though, were a little harder to look at, now having the assumption that they weren't good enough for a particular someone.

"Uh...maybe this one will make you laugh, Leni," she said as her eyes darted to different lines on the page. Upon finding one, though, she found herself able to laugh off some of her anxiety, "Okay...What do you call a cow with no arms or legs?"

Luan looked up and stared at her big sister. Her face was unchanged—her eyes remained focused, her lips were unfazed, her body was unnervingly still. Regardless, Luan pressed on.

"Ground beef," she forcefully exclaimed.

She checked on her sister once more. Despite hearing laughter from the others, Leni was frozen. And that alone was enough to deflate the short-lived flair of hope of impressing the six-year-old.

"Leni," Luan said softly. The others were stunned by the sudden contrast from their sister's voice, "What about that? Did you like that?"

"Um...uh..."

"Ground beef," Leni thought, "Why does the cow have no legs? There are cows like that? But how do they make milk or eat grass if they have no legs? And what's ground beef? Is that beef that's in the ground? Is that in the backyard? But if that's a cow with no legs, then why doesn't it make the sound? The 'moo' sound."

In the suffocating silence, Luan felt her form shrinking and Lori started tapping her foot.

"Leni," Lori finally said, "Did you like Luan's joke?"

For several more aggravating seconds, there was nothing. To Lori, it felt like her sister hadn't even heard her—too lost in her thousand yard stare. She was about to ask again when she saw Leni take in a large breath of it.

"No."

The other three sisters began protesting at this disagreement, chipping away at Leni's look of indifference bit by bit. Luan, though, had no interest in what the defense was. Her head sunk and she sighed. Her eyes stung and she feared that she would start crying in front of Leni, adding onto what she believed was humiliation.

"Are you okay, honey?"

Luan looked up and saw her mom with a warm smile on her face. Holding the baby with one hand, she used the other to pat an open cushion on the couch, "Wanna sit with me and Lincoln?"

As Luan nodded and joined her mother, the criticisms continued.

"How could you say that to Luan? It made her sad," Lori said, her brows furrowed.

"Funny!" Lynn cried.

Leni wasn't listening though. Her big sister's words had drawn her to Luan and Mrs. Boxer's voice began playing in her head. Not long after came the flash cards and the activities.

Without changing her facial expression, she got up and walked over to the couch, stopping right in front of Luan.

"Leni. Is there something you wanted to say to your little sister?"

After a moment of awkward stillness, she leaned into her sister and hugged Luan, although her sitting posture made the embrace somewhat crooked.

"I'm sorry Luan," she said solemnly.

Luan squeezed her eyes shut and took some deep breaths. The hug's warmth soothed some of the tightening pangs in her chest and head and stopped the tears that threatened to break free from her eyes.

"That's okay," was all she said before planting her face into her mother's leg. As Leni moved away from her, she felt a much smaller set of arms touch her back. Feeling those fresh palms made her smile and chuckle a little.

"Leni," Rita said, her face having relaxed, "did you not find it funny because you didn't understand the jokes?"

"I don't know..."

"Let's take the fake noodle joke. Did you know that noodle is a kind of pasta?"

Leni's mind slowly went through the words she knew. It took a solid fifteen seconds for her to shake her head.

"Well that's what it is. And do you know what an imposter is?"

Another fifteen seconds elapsed as the young girl scanned her vocabulary in search of the word. Sadly, the investigation ended with nothing.

"An imposter is a fake person. And the 'poster' part of the word sounds a lot like 'pasta'," Rita said calmly, "And since a noodle is a type of pasta, a fake noodle is an impasta."

Leni's mouth dropped open and her eyes fell to the carpet. Lori groaned as she saw her sister assume this position. Her annoyance grew when Leni's posture began to slouch a little. And the silence wasn't helping matters either.

"Wouldn't...a fake noodle be...pasta? Why are you making up words?"

"Because that's the joke. Of course impasta is not a word, but because it sounds like imposter, that's what makes it funny. And when something is funny, we laugh."

Rita then gave a hearty chuckle to demonstrate. And then, Leni replicated it. The hacked huffs sliced the air and Lori's ears. But Rita smiled.

"There you go. And that's how jokes work," the mother said.

Grateful for the advice, Leni hugged her mom, squishing baby Lincoln in the embrace. She then turned to her little sister and hugged her again.

"Those jokes are...funny," Leni said. She then forced out some more chuckles. Lori, though, groaned.

Chapter 13: Golden Rule

Snap.

Rita gleefully pressed down on the camera's button, instantly capturing her three girls. Lori propped up a decent, if insincere, smile that she knew would please her mother. Leni contorted her lips into a shape that placed her teeth on display; it was far from natural, but Rita took it as a step in the right direction. And Luna eagerly grinned and her eyes gave off a flash of their one, far brighter than what the camera could produce.

"Can we go now?" Lori asked, the smile immediately dropping.

"Let's make sure we're all ready to go," Rita replied as she finished packing the bags and lunch boxes. Upon doing this, she distributed them to their proper owner. Shortly after, the four heard footsteps from the stairs. As they continued to secure their belongings, the sounds grew louder.

"Good morning everyone," a male voice said.

Luan and Lynn Sr. rushed into the kitchen and began raiding the fridge. Lynn Sr. emerged from behind him, carrying Lincoln in his arms and a grin on his face, "How's my big girls doing?"

"I'm going to school with Lori and Leni! I'm a big girl now!" Luna cried as she darted up to her father. To him, her daughter's smile was priceless. He handed Lincoln to his wife, who warmly embraced the infant. He then grabbed his third daughter by her armpits and gave her a kiss.

"Yes you are, but you'll always be my baby," Lynn Sr. said warmly, holding Luna high enough for their eyes to meet.

"Dad!" Luna exclaimed. She attempted to pout, but her lips slipped open and let out some loose chuckles.

Leni then started laughing, trying her best to mimic her sister's timbre and rhythm. Over the past few weeks, she had been trying out this mannerism and she felt she was starting to get better at it, much to her delight. Leni was ready to go to Mrs. Boxer and show off her chuckles and see how happy it would make her. Lori, however, sighed upon hearing her.

Lynn Sr. lowered Luna and allowed her to grab her things.

"Alright you three, I hope you all have an awesome first day of school!" he said, gazing at his two older daughters, who were further away, "I love you!"

As they finished grabbing their things, each of the three girls went up to their father as he gave them a kiss. Soon enough, they exited the house and boarded Vanzilla. Luna got in first, sat by the window, and strapped herself in. Then, Leni climbed over the cushions and crawled her way to the middle. Finally, Lori took the remaining seat and buckled up. The oldest girl then turned to Leni, sighed, and helped her sister secure her seat belt. Once Rita got herself ready, they were off.

During the ride, Leni found her eyes wondering around Vanzilla's interior. She thought about all the fun she had with Mrs. Egan, about how beautiful she was, and about how nice she was to her. It was sad when she had to say goodbye to her teacher on the last day of school, though; in fact, it seemed to her that many of the other kids had the face on the 'sad' card right before summer vacation began. But over that two month break, her mom had told her about how she would be having Mrs. Rowzanski for first grade.

"You'll get to do so many cool things with her. I know it will make you happy," she recalled.

Rita even got Lori to talk about the things she heard about Mrs. Rowzanski from the kids she knew that had her, to assure her that she was as nice and helpful as Mrs. Egan. By this point, Leni was ready to meet this 'mysterious' figure and begin the first grade.

"Leni," Rita said as she drove, "do you want to tell Luna about all the fun you had in kindergarten? Luna is gonna be with Mrs. Egan and I think she would love to hear what you have to say."

Leni gazed at her little sister, who in turn was looking at her. Memories of Mrs. Egan's class flooded her mind, yet she wasn't quick to run her mouth. For ten seconds, the two girls stared at each other, hearing nothing but Vanzilla grazing the pavement.

"Mrs. Egan is good...and pretty," Leni said. A pause, "She has a cute doggy named Blacky...I miss him...tell him about me and be nice to him...he likes to be hugged."

With the onset of another silent period, Luna internalized her sister's comments. Her smile, while present, had tight and tucked corners, as if she was trying to stop it from growing.

"That's really cool, Leni. I will say hi to him. And how do I make friends? I'm scared I won't fit in," Luna said.

"You will fit in...the room is big enough to have tables...and toys...and books...and kids inside," she answered.

Luna was confused. It wasn't the first time Leni gave responses like that to questions she (or any of her sisters) had asked. But that didn't drain the well of curiosity that flourished in the young girl.

"Who should I play with?" Luna asked.

Leni stared at her sister for an even longer period. It was long enough for Lori to step in and urge her to answer., yet it did no good. Eventually, Luna's anticipation started to mutate into impatience. And that's when Leni finally spoke.

"Blacky, Mrs. Egan...and Mrs. Boxer, but she only comes twice a week."

Luna kept her grin, although she was surprised by these revelations. She imagined that she would have gotten advice on types of kids her age, future friends that she would get to know as they climbed the educational ladder.

"Is there anything else I should know?" she asked.

"No..."

It was quiet for the rest of the car ride, which luckily was a short period. The three girls got out and Rita, following her usual first day routine, joined them. The mother had informed Lori the night before, so the gesture wasn't met with protest. Rita grabbed Leni's hand and the bunch entered those familiar doors for yet another year. Luna was the first to be dropped off; she beamed with joy as Rita gave her a kiss and allowed to enter Mrs. Egan's room. Next was Lori, who was embarrassed to be seen walking with her mom and little sister in the 'big kid' part of the school. Upon reaching Mr. Brown's room, she reluctantly accepted a hug before resigning herself to the classroom. After that, Rita led Leni all the way to Mrs. Rowzanski's room which, despite Lori's insistence on the contrary, was fairly close to the 'big kid' hallway.

The room was similar to Mrs. Egan's in some aspects. Like kindergarten, the room had a colorful rug, a bookshelf, and general art supplies (a feature that Leni noticed pretty quickly). But the big round tables were replaced with rectangular desks, no sleeping mats were in sight, and there wasn't a single stuffed animal to be found (which Leni was disappointed to observe).

"Good morning," a low, raspy voice said. A portly, middle-aged woman walked over and shook Rita's hand, "Nice to see you, Mrs. Loud," she said. Her dark eyes then veered down at the young girl and she smiled, "Hello. My name is Mrs. Rowzanski and welcome to the first grade. What's your name?"

A pause.

"Leni..."

The girl's shoulders stiffened and her head fell slightly. To her, this new face was nothing like Mrs. Egan's. Its eyelids were stained by powdery black mascara, its tan cheeks were blemished with a feverishly scarlet blush, and its chapped smile was marred by uneasy, mahogany lipstick.

"I was wondering if I could discuss some important matters before I take off," Rita said.

"Of course," she replied before looking back down, "Leni, why don't you find a seat a meet some of your new classmates."

The girl obliged and darted away from the adults, her posture still stifled. Indeed, a good chunk of the students had already arrived and taken their seats. It was a little difficult to find a desk that was at least two away from any one kid—not helping matters was the fact that the configuration was that of a U-shape where all the desks were bunched together—, so she settled for one in the back that was a whole unit away from a boy quietly sorting through his backpack. Leni dropped her own bag and slid into the cold, hard seat.

From there, she was able to hear her mom and Mrs. Rowzanski using words that were too big for her to know. She figured they were talking about her, though, since her name was uttered multiple times. She also picked out Mrs. Boxer's name, which was mentioned on several occasions. Aside from that, though, the minutes rolled by uneventfully. Some of the kids made small talk while others greeted for the first time.

"I thought Lori said that first grade was gonna be fun and stuff."

After her mom left and several kids filed into the remaining empty seats, Mrs. Rowzanski began the first day of school rituals. One by one, her classmates stood up and introduced themselves, yet their words went in one ear and and quickly out the other. It wasn't that she didn't like them—she often found other kids her age nice and respectable—, she just found it hard to follow what they were saying. She tried, but they spoke much faster than she could follow; even though she didn't show it, she was quite frustrated at herself for not understanding.

"I'm Leni and I...like Ducky."

She sat back down and replayed her words even as others got up and their words glanced past her limited attention. Before she knew it, Mrs. Rowzanski started talking again in her distinct accent. Unlike Mrs. Egan (who liked to remain in the center when addressing the class), this teacher preferred walking around the room. Leni used the moments when Mrs. Rowzanski was on one end of the chalkboard to lean towards it while casting her face to the opposite end; the neighboring students were quick to notice the abrupt shifting.

"Leni, is everything alright?" the teacher asked and it was at that moment that Leni discovered the extent of her new status quo. Mrs. Rowzanksi began walking toward her, taking advantage of the large space the U-shape of the desks created. As the middle-aged woman got closer, Leni shrunk in her seat, her eyes darted downward, and her mouth felt like it was about to eject bile and spit, "It's okay, you don't have to be scared of me. I'm a friend."

The nastiness clogging up her body persisted, even after hearing the teacher's soft voice. She refused to look up to see those nauseating colors and gag-inducing textures.

"Don't worry, Leni. I know the first day of school can be scary and there's a lot of new faces that you don't know, but that's all gonna change over time. These strangers will become friends and you'll feel better."

She then heard footsteps that faded slightly, encouraging her to look up to see the teacher's back turned. To her, things seemed to be better, for now.

Most of the morning was slow and unsettling for Leni. She was preoccupied with avoiding eye contact, something she usually did by force of habit. Today, however, required other means. Unlike when she was talking to other kids, she went out of her way to readjust her posture whenever Mrs. Rowzanski walked across the front and to stare at her desk whenever the teacher felt the urge to give the back some special attention. And while she didn't try to block out Mrs. Rowzanski's voice, the words failed to stick to her anyway. In a failed effort to make the time fly, she tried imagining scenes from The Land Before Time, as if she were at home watching the movie on TV. It was a long start to the first day.

"Alright kids, it's snack time!"

Leni was stuck in her seat, but seeing the others get up to head for their lunch bags was enough to peel her off. She trudged both when getting it and returning to her desk. She took out her favorites—animal crackers and sliced banana pieces—and placed them on the desk's surfaced. She hunched her form and started eating the animal crackers, her eyes fixated on the thin sliver of the tiled floor her desk allowed. In this position, the crackers' decent taste and delightfully crunchy texture were somewhat salvaged.

"Hi Leni."

And just like that, she felt queasy again. She stopped chewing and allowed the mixture of cracker and saliva to sit on her tongue. She refused to even move a muscle as the teacher kept speaking.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing. Are you starting to feel better about first grade?"

Nothing. By now, Mrs. Rowzanski started to notice how frozen the student had become from the moment she opened her mouth.

"Leni, would you mind looking me in the eye? I think doing that will make it easier for you to talk to me."

It was like talking to a wall. She refused to move and the uncomfortable pangs were only accumulating. Her mouth was now completely filled with the cracker-spit solution, forcing her to swallow it all. Now she felt worse.

"Leni, can you please look up. I want to-"

"Go away."

Mrs. Rowzanski was astonished. She wasn't expecting a young girl like Leni to speak with such force. Those two words were like hammer strikes.

"What did you say?," she replied, now with more assertiveness.

"I want you...to g-go a-away from me," Leni replied. This time, though, she turned herself around, away from her teacher.

"That is very rude. Other kids don't want to play with you if you are rude. Now look at me and say you are sorry."

She remained there, though. She groaned and refused to look at that face.

"I don't wanna. I can't eat when looking at you. Your lips are gross."

Mrs. Rowzanski was at a loss for words. All this time, Leni had been avoiding her because she thought she was ugly. She had dealt with unruly students before—kids that yelled during class, ones that bullied others—and it was one of the costs of doing her job, especially after so many years. She understood that they didn't know any better, that it was her job to show them the way, and that someday they would move on from their childish tendencies. But none of those things ever stopped the sting of hurtful words no matter how much she heard them. After all, they really did cause pain.

"Very well," Mrs. Rowzanski said with wide eyes and tight lips. She then went to her desk and picked up the black landline phone. She knew the numbers of every room of the school and it didn't take long for her to press the proper combination.

Meanwhile, Leni wasn't sure how to feel. She was relieved to have that sight out of her eyes, thus allowing her go back to eating her crackers. But her revived tranquility was troubled by a inner weight she couldn't explain. It just felt bad. Without changing her face, she continued consuming her snack.

A knock was heard at the door and Mrs. Rowzanski marched towards it. For some reason, Leni suddenly found her teacher's face less ugly (the colors and textures didn't disgust her or ruin her appetite). Sadly, that didn't make it any easier for the girl to watch her teacher move with such gloom. It didn't help that she couldn't see who was on the other side of the door; Mrs. Rowzanski only opened it a crack and slipped through. Even with that display out of the room, Leni still slouched in her seat.

After a minute, the door re-opened but it wasn't Mrs. Rowzanski entering. Leni immediately recognized her as Mrs. Boxer and she was walking right towards her desk. She knew today was a Wednesday, but she wasn't expecting to see this person again so soon in the year. Even if she couldn't tag the expression to a card, she got shivering vibes from Mrs. Boxer as she approached her; the teacher's comforting aura that usually accompanied her presence was missing.

"Leni, come with me."

Even her voice lacked that easygoing tone and gentle air stream. Leni got up and bashfully followed Mrs. Boxer out of the room. It was only in that exit that she finally noticed how quiet the class had become. There were several mutters and whispers, but it paled to the chatter that had erupted when snack time began.

Once they were out in the hallway, Mrs. Boxer shut the door, but that wasn't the first sound Leni heard. Behind Mrs. Boxer was Mrs. Rowzanski with both her hands over mouth, muffling her shaky breathing and emphatic sobs. Black streams flowed from her watery eyes, an image that penetrated Leni's mind.

"Leni," Mrs. Boxer said, "Mrs. Rowzanski told me that you said something very hurtful to her. Is that true?"

The young girl stared at her crying teacher. Her heart suddenly felt very heavy and each audible whimper was like a dagger, yet she didn't know how to answer Mrs. Boxer's question. She felt like her body was full of sand, but her brain was empty.

"Mrs. Rowzanski said that you told her that 'her lips are gross' and that you wanted her to 'go away'. Did you say those words to her?"

The fresh memory miraculously materialized in her mind. From her position, which her feet had already clamped her down to, she slowly nodded her head. It was just what Mrs. Boxer had thought.

"Leni," she said, looking down at the first grader, "that is a bad thing to say to someone. You can't say to other people that they are ugly or gross. Now, you have made Mrs. Rowzanski very sad and that is not okay."

The 'sad face' card flashed in front of her eyes and it matched the look that Mrs. Rowzanski had. Leni felt her own face deflate, her own eyes widen, and her own mouth to drop. The floor didn't feel so sticky anymore. She didn't even need to think. She walked over to Mrs. Rowzanski ang wrapped her arms around the woman. The teacher immediately felt the embrace and looked down through her teary eyes to see a girl outwardly emanating remorse.

"Now what do you say?" Mrs. Boxer said, somewhat softer.

"I'm sorry," Leni said. Unlike a lot of things that came out of her mouth, this sounded genuine. It was one of the uncommon times where her voice was an accurate representation of how she felt.

"Thank you, Leni. I forgive you," Mrs. Rowzanski said with through her tight throat. The teacher smiled and began wiping her eyes of the running mascara. After clearing away the residue, she nudged at Leni, signaling the student to give her some space, "I'll let you and Mrs. Boxer talk out here. Once you're done, you can come back in."

Leni glanced up at Mrs. Rowzanski and allowed her to go back in the room. Then, she turned to Mrs. Boxer, who appeared to be back to her normal self.

"What you said right there was nice. And how do you think saying sorry made Mrs. Rowzanski feel?"

It didn't take very long to figure that one out.

"Happy."

"That's right," Mrs. Boxer said, giving her student a smile, "Now I don't want you to be rude to anyone. How would you feel if someone told you that your dress looked bad or your hair was ugly?"

Leni stared down at the ground. This required some more thought. It was quite hard to imagine someone being that mean to her in real life.

"Sad," she eventually said.

"I could imagine. Leni, you have to think about how others feel when you say things to them," she said, kneeling down to the girl's level, "Here's one way to think about it. Whenever you feel like saying something to someone, think about how you would feel if someone else said that to you. We can call it the golden rule."

As Leni processed those words, she was surprised to note how they were sticking. It was as if they were pushing their way through all the noise, the daydreams, the wind that funneled through her ears. She then thought about Luan and her joke book.

"She must be sad."

She darted her eyes to the tiles before looking back up at Mrs. Boxer. By now, Leni's mouth was somewhat agape.

"You are a nice kid, Leni. And I want to let you know that it's okay. You said Mrs. Rowzanski and she forgave you. But now that you know our golden rule, I want you to use it so that other kids will see you as the nice kid you are."

Mrs. Boxer then got up and opened the door.

"I hope you have a nice day and I will see you next week. Welcome back."

Seeing the open door, Leni re-entered the room and took her seat. Even with Mrs. Rowzanski nearby, she was able to eat her animal crackers. They tasted great.

Chapter 14: Open Up

Lori took up the couch's middle cushion and rested her eyes on the latest episode of Los Angels. She sighed as she watched Marcy and Josh walk on screen, hand-in-hand, with the goofiest smiles she had ever seen.

"And I thought Leni's were forced."

Resigned, she turned her head to the left and saw said sister and Lincoln on the carpet, hugging each other. The parents felt comfortable leaving him with his sisters while they prepared dinner, given how he was almost a year old by now. And as Lori thought, Leni was the one giving her brother most of her attention. She watched as Leni brushed his hair, which was now as white as the snowflakes falling outside. Lori found it weird how a baby's hair can be that color, but both Lincoln and the second sister chuckled with every stroke she gave him.

Lori just exhaled and went back to her show, only to be met with more cheesy love. It had been well over a season since Marcy and Josh got together, but Lori felt as if Los Angel had been going downhill since that moment. Sure there were some episodes she enjoyed as much as the early ones, however the mere presence of Josh now became enough to ruin otherwise decent stories for her. Not helping matters was the giggling happening outside of the show.

"Kids! It's dinner time!"

Using this cue as an opportunity, she grabbed the remote and flicked off the TV. She got up and saw her two younger siblings still playing with each other on the floor, as if they didn't even hear their mother.

"Leni, Lincoln. It's time to eat," Lori said. But Leni kept hugging her brother, treating him like he was the entire world. She was in a bubble again, annoying Lori, "Leni. You have to stop playing with Lincoln. Mom said it's dinner time."

Still, nothing. Lori felt like she was nothing more than the surrounding air. Ever since that boy came along, Leni had become absorbed with him, spending at least seventy-five percent of her free time with him. Lori recalled at least several instances where her other sisters tried to get Leni to share their brother, only to come up short. It wasn't that Leni told them 'no' or even gave them a scowl; she simply failed to notice they were even in the same room. And Lori had already concluded that more direct means were needed to get her younger siblings to dinner.

Lori strutted to the duo and she wrapped her hands around Lincoln's waist. She then pulled him in an effort to lift him, however she was soon met by a jerk in the opposite direction.

"No...I want Linky," Leni moaned. She then groaned as she attempted to envelop her own body around the infant.

"Leni. You have to give him to me," Lori said firmly, "Mom said it's time for all of us to eat."

"But Linky."

"Leni."

Their tug of war was defined by increasingly violent movements that proved to be too much for the baby involved. Lincoln started wailing from the pain and point-blank noise. Leni froze upon hearing this, allowing Lori to grab the crying infant.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," Leni said, as though she were reciting those words.

Lynn Sr. entered the living room, his face washed by concern.

"Shh. Shh. It's okay," he said as he took his son from Lori, "Shh. It's okay, Lincoln," he then proceeded to cradle him in his protective arms, which successfully calmed the child within a short amount of time. Lori and Leni looked on at the scene, while the latter repeated 'I'm sorry' every few seconds. After consoling Lincoln, Lynn Sr. turned to his two oldest daughters.

"Do you two know what happened?"

"I was trying to get Leni and Lincoln to come to dinner," Lori said, allowing her irritation to slip into her voice, "but Leni wouldn't stop playing with Lincoln. And when I tried to grab him, he started crying."

Lynn Sr. had a feeling something like this would happen again. He understood how much his second daughter loved to express her love directly to Lincoln, but even he was getting concerned with the stubbornness that often accompanied it. And he regretted having to repeat his talk with her.

"Leni," he said walking over to her. His voice, though, was drowned out by the girl's mantra. She recited it over and over again. He appreciated that she recognized that she made some mistake, but she wasn't letting up. It wasn't until he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and called her name again that she finally stopped and stared him in the eyes.

"Leni. Do you remember what I told you about playing with Lincoln?"

Her gaze kept on his face.

"I don't...know."

Even though he hoped she had, he understood from looking at her that he couldn't blame her too much. Glancing down at Lincoln, Lynn Sr. affirmed that he was a pretty cute baby and he knew that Leni in particular liked cute things. He knew that she loved Lincoln, but he also knew that all her sisters did too.

"That's okay," he said softly while holding the baby, "I told you that you can play with Lincoln when you finish all your homework and you did that. But now, you need to eat and so does Lincoln. Once you two are done, though, you can play again."

She stood there for a minute, stiff as a pencil. Her face, however, displayed more subtle tinges (occasional twitches, wavers, and pulls) that wouldn't have been present a year earlier.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It's okay, Leni. It's great that you love your little brother and I like that you want to play with him. But now you know that sometimes, we need to take a break," Lynn Sr. said with a smile. He then knelt and gave Leni a kiss on the forehead. As he did this, he felt a tiny jolt shake Leni's face. He backed up and saw her lips race upwards. And that in turn made him feel good.

The four of them headed to the dining room and took their seats. The parents and five daughters occupied all the spots and Rita set up a high chair next to her's. Each of the children had a completely different dish to accommodate their ages and preferences. Rita spoon fed baby food to little Lincoln, doing the whole airplane shtick. While she was starting to grow out of it, Lynn loved the tan mush and gobbled it down every time she had it; she wasn't gonna let the presence of a younger sibling change her tastebuds. Luan and Luna, prided themselves in their "big kid" food and all of it's fun adventures; tonight, their new thing to try was spaghetti. Leni took a fork and poked at her hot dogs, the same item she had for dinner for as long as she could remember. Finally, Lori remained indifferent at her boring mac and cheese, wishing that her parents got her pizza instead.

Given the number of children, the process of all of them finishing their food was slow and occasionally punctuated by chatter and horseplay (which was tampered by the parents). Lori spent much of the time staring at Lincoln, watching as her mom slowly fed him and spoke to him in her 'baby' voice. Lori supposed that she was getting used to having a little brother after all these months, but she still got irritated thinking about the type of boy he would grow up to be.

"Sure he's cute now, but soon he'll be all gross and stuff," she thought. Yet, she couldn't understand why she kept turning back to him. Feelings were weird.

After dinner, Lori and Leni headed back into the living room to settle down. Rita came in carrying Lincoln and took a seat on the couch beside Lori. The eldest daughter turned to Lincoln and gazed on him, much how she was during dinner. But whereas the dinner table had multiple side events occurring, the couch had but one.

"Is there something you want, Lori?" Rita asked after noticing her daughter's focus.

"Dang it," Lori exclaimed internally. She was in a trap now and no aversion was gonna get her out of it.

"I uh..." she said as she struggled to find a good lie. Unfortunately, she was too slow to get her own words out, so her mom helped her out.

"Did you want to play with Lincoln?"

Out of all the children, Lori had spent the least amount of time with the baby. Sure she sat with her other sisters as they played with him and she made small gestures with him here or there, but Lori didn't recall sitting down to truly interact with him.

"I don't know. I'm too big to be playing with babies," Lori pouted, crossing her arms.

"Lori, you're never too big to spend time with your little brother. I'm sure Lincoln would really like to spend more time with you," Rita said. As she spoke, though, she came up with another one of her special ideas. She turned to the other side of the couch, "In fact, Leni could play along with you."

Lori sighed.

"Do I have to play with her?"

"Yes," Rita replied, somewhat offended, "why wouldn't you want to play with Leni?"

For a six year old (soon to be seven), Lori had developed a basic understanding of her mother. It was only after asking that fateful question that the realization resurfaced to her that it had been a bad one. Thankfully, it was just in time to stop herself from saying something else that would have upset her mother. So instead, she sighed.

"Fine."

It was that simple word that made Rita smile.

"I'm glad to hear that," she said before facing Leni, "Hey Leni. You can play with Lincoln now and Lori wants to join you two."

The girl replied with a tiny smirk, as if to create a tiny grin. That escalated, however, once her mother handed her the baby boy. Lincoln's cheerful giggles were enough to excite the second oldest sister. Leni got up, holding her brother, and settled down on the carpeted floor.

Unwilling to hear her mother remind her again, Lori got up and slid down to a spot near the two. She say there and watched Leni cradle Lincoln, channeling all of her mental energy towards the bundle of joy in her arms. Lori, though, only looked on from outside the bubble for several moments.

"Leni," Lori eventually said, although clearly unamused. Her patience found no support from the lack of an answer. She sighed, "Leni."

Surprisingly to Lori, her sister actually stopped what she was doing and turned to her.

"Yes, Lori," she said slowly. Lincoln, meanwhile, was hugging his sister.

What was even slower, though, was the response. Lori spent several painful seconds mustering the words she felt were appropriate for conveying her thoughts.

"Can I play with you two?" she asked begrudgingly.

Rita grinned at her eldest daughter's ability to at least ask. And now, with a brief pause preceding it, it became Leni's duty to react.

"Okay."

With that cue, Lori inched her way towards her siblings. She raised one of her hands used it to rub Lincoln's back, the only part of his body that was faced away from Leni's. His head perked up to see the source of the tender, if somewhat rigid, stroking. Upon seeing his oldest sister, his mouth clamped open with glee, exposing the teeth that were slowly emerging from his gums. He nudged and pushed against Leni's body as it contorted its posture towards Lori, however the former's hands were still positioned on him.

"Leni, honey. Let Lincoln move around. I think he wants to see Lori," Rita said, observing the scene.

Lori was surprised again when Leni's grip immediately loosened. Lincoln climbed down from his sister's body with a widening smile. His eyes were clearly set on his oldest sibling, the one he had seen around the house almost every day yet spent little time with.

"And to think he didn't like me," Lori thought as the baby crawled his way towards her.

Lincoln surmounted his sisters legs and rested himself on her lap. She looked down to see this, yet was slow to react. It was weird feeling his large, warm, squishy body. Things didn't feel right in that moment. Having this was exactly what she wanted and exactly what she was uncomfortable with in the same package.

"You are scared...Lori."

Her head jerked to Leni. She didn't recall addressing her younger sister beforehand.

"I know you are scared...And when you are scared, I want to make you feel better," she said. Lori hadn't realized her face and body werr drawing out her emotions for even Leni to see. She was astonished.

"Linky isn't scary...he's cute and he's happy and he loves you...why don't you give him a hug? That's what I do to someone I love."

Even amidst the surprise of Leni taking the initiative to speak, Lori took the time to contemplate. Lori understood that her sister wasn't the most expressive one, but if there was any gesture she was fond of, it was that act of wrapping arms around other people and things. She found it unusual (an outlier), but she accepted it as fact. All the while, she merely sat there, awkwardly remaining in her emotionally confused state, just staring at Lincoln's jubilant face.

"Lori, why don't you give your brother a hug?" Rita asked as she saw the display persist, "He wants one from his big sister."

She glanced back at the baby. By now, her lap had acclimated to the jolt his warmth and weight brought. Lori supposed he was cute, even though his hair was an unexplainable mess.

"If it's gonna be the wrong color, it should at look nice," Lori thought to herself, referring to the multiple ashen strands that stuck astray. She lifted one of her hands and began stroking his hair, trying to comb it into something 'presentable'. Lincoln, though, started giggling from this. The vibrations his head made from this threw off Lori's trajectory, making the task more difficult.

"Stop it," Lori said, her voice weaker than she would have liked, "You gotta stay still or you'll...never look handsome."

Rita covered her mouth to hide the chuckles escaping her. As it turned out, Lori's words and her attempts of being cold were being washed away by her lighter tone and noticeably widening smile.

"Girls should be able to look at you and say 'That's one handsome fellow' and then ask you to go to the big dance with them," she said, seemingly unaware of how much her joy was emerging, all in a cascade. Lincoln's laughter amplified as Lori continued to groom his hair, but it was quickly becoming apparent that such an effort was becoming useless.

"Okay, prince. Your hair is better," she said. She didn't even mind the fact that what little progress she had truly made was undone as Lincoln buried himself into her chest. And then she herself did the unthinkable. She hugged him back. Deep down, Lori did feel a tiny ember of anxiety still lingering, but she had embraced her excitment and saw her underlying love of her little brother shine through. In that moment, she forgot all about her hesitations, particularly her dislike of Josh on that show suffering from seasonal rot. Would Lincoln turn out like one of those gross meanies? Maybe, but Lori doubted it would be because of the family. She, at least in the heat of the hug, gravitated to the idea that she could be a loving role model that could set him on a certain path. But she didn't want to think too much about the nuances right there.

"You and Linky are happy," she heard Leni say, once again to her welcoming surprise.

Chapter 15: For Linky

Leni sat on her bed doodling. In recent weeks, she felt a liberation going on inside. When she sat down in her second grade class (where she went back to having the same teacher Lori had), each of the bodies grabbed her eyes. She wanted to spend all day staring at one, but it soon became difficult because there were so many other dazzling sights just nearby. Her heightened awareness rapidly morphed into something more.

Now, as the seven-year-old returned home with her three sisters in the mushy snow, she eagerly went up to her room and began drawing all the fine things she saw in Mr. Henry's class that day. Colorful shirts, pants, shoes, hairpins, bows, and bracelets. To her, the class was filled with wonders. She filled the paper with sloppy, yet generally accurate copies of the clothes and accessories. Thanks to the crayons, they were also in the proper colors.

After recreating all the ones she could remember, she put down her red crayon and lifted the paper to see her work. Although some of the figures were crud, she noticed how the more recent creations were neater than the earlier ones (bigger in size, straighter and cleaner lines, and a more thorough coloring in). Her work gave her a small smile. She maintained that grin as she grabbed some tape from her nightstand drawer and used it to hang it up on her wall. The wall closet to her bed had accumulated a gallery that took up most of the space. But even with that, she was still able to find a little space for her latest creation.

Once she stuck it on with the tape, she sat on her bed and stared at her cumulative work. She grabbed Bun-Bun, who was resting on the bed, and began brushing his fur. She heard a click along with a clutter of steps. Followed by a sigh.

"Leni. When are you gonna take these down?" Lori asked. Ever since her sister started hanging her drawings on the wall, she went out of her way to face the window when she slept at night.

Her sister, though, merely shrugged.

"They've got to come down some time you know! They don't look good!"

What was glaring to Lori was the fact that Leni had never hung up her art in such a public display before. Sure, she drew, but her creations usually went either in the trash or in some drawer to never be seen again. And now, without warning, Leni started making this collection. Not only did she keep her drawings, but she put them up for her sister to see.

"Whose clothes are those anyway?" Lori demanded for the tenth day in a row. Every time she asked, though, her sister didn't respond. As was the usual. Lori sighed, "If you like clothes so much, why don't you just ask Mom to get those magazines at the supermarket?"

Leni tilted her head. It was a relatively new expression she developed, but it didn't take her big sister to decipher its meaning.

"Fine. I'll ask her for you," she said, sighing, "But all these are coming down! You've been in second grade for months now. Start acting like it!"

She stood there firmly and glared at Leni. Sometimes, she didn't know why she got patient with her little sister; sure Leni's reaction times were improving, but they remained below what she wanted.

"Hmph," Lori said, "Well hurry up and get ready. Mom's taking us to the mall."

"Why?" Leni asked as she hugged Bun-Bun.

"Lincoln's birthday is next week and we gotta get stuff for his party."

The second girl gave her familiar groan-sounding murmur before getting up. She clung Bun-Bun to her chest as she followed her big sister downstairs. Lori was annoyed that her sister still carried that thing around. Sure there were plenty of second graders that had stuffed animals, but Leni cherished Bun-Bun. As if it were her friend.

Once everything was settled, Rita and the five girls packed themselves into Vanzilla, leaving Lynn Sr. to watch over the soon-to-be two-year-old boy.

With every addition the Loud family brought on, outings to public places have started to require more planning, more means of maintaining order. Even with the mounting demand, Rita always loved children and was determined to make this trip both efficient and bonding. After Lincoln was born, they decided to take a hiatus from the nearly seamless stream of pregnancies to focus on the kids they already had. Indeed, over these past two years, Rita had become well-acclimated to the six-child structure. This particular trip to the mall, while demanding, was something she had done plenty of times with the existing status quo, so it wasn't as chaotic as it was two years ago. But even at that, she hadn't told the kids yet about her plan to start a new pregnancy at the end of the month.

Upon arrival and getting the kids out of Vanzilla, they headed into Bullseye. Bullseye could be best described as a maze; the two-floor department store was by far the largest outlet in the Royal Woods Mall. With everything in inventory (including the kitchen sink, given the kitchen appliances section) stashed in countless aisles, it was almost to be the mall. It was also a nightmare for most parents with small children. Thankfully, years of experience has prepared Rita all the better with communication and deliberation in movement.

Rita led the kids to the clothes section and began her search for some toddler clothes. Little did most of the girls know how boring and long this turned out to be. Within minutes, Luna and Luan had their backs slouched and their feet yearning to sit down. Lynn was pacing around the carriage and the shirt racks, using her boundless energy with the hope of exchanging it for pleasure. Lori was leaning against a concrete pillar that filled the gap between the floor and the ceiling, eyes glazed with idle exhaustion. And Leni was walking along a separate shirt rack, examine each of them he articles that hung from it.

"As long as she stays in my sight, she'll be fine."

Leni was fixated by each shirt she came across. She swung it out to get a closer look at those thin lines that encompassed their surface, she absorbed any designs that were on their fronts, she felt the texture each shirt had. A lot of the shirts in the toddler section were similar (similar colors, similar fabric, similar size). Each attribute she experience was a sensory splash. She was excited at the spectacle, even occasionally producing a smile from what she saw.

She felt a familiar thing grab her hand. She turned to see her older sister Lori, eyes clearly displaying annoyance.

"Let's go!" she moaned.

Before Leni could reply, her sister was already moving on, pulling her along. She looked forward and saw various clothes in Rita's red plastic carriage. Her eyes were captured to the rainbow of colors she saw in there. If only she could have been close enough to touch them.

The mother guided her children through the various sections within Bullseye—electronics, appliances, hardware, food. Occasionally, one of them (usually either Leni or Lynn) tried veering off to look at something, whether it was a pretty dress or a giant flat screen television. The savvy Rita, though, reined them back before they could get lost in the giant store.

They eventually found themselves in the toys section. At that point, most of the girls tried breaking away to look whatever caught their eye. Even Lori felt the need for yet another Barbie doll. But alas, all five of the girls were relegated to the young boy's section. Rather than indulging in the endless supply of dolls and houses, they were surrounded by action figures, toys with batteries, and nerf guns. And for them, that was a punishment (or, at least, for most of them).

"Mommy! Can I get this?" Luna demanded, bringing back some plastic board filled with buttons. Behind her was Lynn, who herself had an Ace Savvy action figure.

"No kids. We're getting things for Lincoln," Rita replied, "now put those back."

The two girls groaned and begrudgingly obliged.

Meanwhile, Leni let herself wander up and down the aisle. Although none of the toys interested her, their bright colorful boxes captured her attention. One of them was a giant cube on the bottom shelf with the perfect mix of blue, purple, and red; the three shades formed a flash that left her paralyzed. Her hands jutted out and pulled out the package. She tried lifting it, but the sheer size of it left her with little leverage. That didn't stop her from dragging it. Loudly.

"Leni, honey. Put that back," Rita said as she looked on. Yet the girl kept pulling it across the floor, trying to get it to the carriage, "Leni," her mother repeated, however at this point, the other girls were catching on.

"Woah! What's that?!" Luna exclaimed as she dashed towards the box. She dropped to her knees and her young eyes spotted the tag lines, logo, toy, and features. The box's cover revealed a giant castle play set with multiple rooms inside and pulpits carving the sides. The most prominent feature, though, were the mini cannons shooting red arrow-shaped ammunition.

"Mommy!" Luna cried, turning the cover in her parent's direction, "Let's get this for Lincoln!"

All the females at this point were aware of the box. Lynn, unsurprisingly, ran to it and pressed her hands against the surface. She smiled widely as she admired the cool toy.

"Lincoln would love this!" Luna added, "Please can we get it? Please!"

A skeptical Rita approached the package to get a better look at it. She lifted it and examined both the cover and the small text on the back. Her face did not reflect Luna's or Lynn's excitement.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think this is safe for babies Lincoln's age," she said upon finishing. She then placed the box down and knelt to her children's level, "This toy has small parts that Lincoln shouldn't be around. Maybe when he's older."

"But Mom!" Luna moaned.

"I'm sorry. Now please put it back," Rita said as she stood back up. Luna sighed and prompted Leni to help her return it. Meanwhile, their mother looked around the various toys in the aisle. Even though many of them also had small parts, the ones that didn't jumped out at her, "How about this one?" she said as she pulled out a large rubber man. It looked like a Power Trooper, but the limbs appeared as if they were flexible, "Lincoln's gonna love this," she told herself as she plopped it in the carriage.

"Okay girls," Rita announced to the children, "Let's look around this aisle for toys to get Lincoln. Make sure you show it to me before you put it in the carriage," she then turned to Luna and Lynn, "and remember. If the box says the toy has small parts, don't get it."

Leni looked on as her sisters began walking alongside the shelves in search of a toy. Yet even with that, she merely stood there, taking in the colors of all the various packages.

"Leni, honey," she heard her mother say. She watched as her smiling parent approached her, "don't you want to find a toy for Lincoln? His birthday is coming up and I think he would really like a gift from you."

"Linky..." she said as she stared into Rita's caring eyes. She then pointed to the shirts and pants resting in the carriage. Rita followed her daughter's finger.

"Do you want to give him clothes?" Rita asked.

Leni nodded, rather decisively.

"Well how about this. We'll stay here until the others find a toy they want to give him," she then turned to her daughter, "you can get him one too if you like. And then after that, we'll go back to the clothes and you can get him some. How does that sound?"

After a moment's silence, the girl smiled.

"Yes. I love Linky and clothes," she said, clapping her hands and her eyes brightening a little.

"I'm glad to hear that," Rita replied, chuckling.

The next few minutes moved slowly, however. Leni stood beside the carriage as she looked around at the different boxes, interested more in the designs than their contents. The big challenge was finding toys that were simple and cohesive enough for a soon-to-be two-year-old to safely play with. Thankfully with Rita's guidance, even Luna and Lynn were able to settle on two cool-looking toys.

With that, as Rita promised, they then proceeded back to the clothes section.

"Really? This again?" Luan protested.

"Yeah!" Luna exclaimed.

"Don't worry kids," Rita said, "just give your big sister a little time to find something special," she then turned to Leni, who was walking alongside her and the carriage, and beamed at her, "Go ahead, honey, find something you think Lincoln's gonna like."

After staring at her mother for a little longer (as if she were looking for additional approval) she walked to the nearest rack and began sifting through each individual shirt. Each one was a different color, yet never failed to impress her.

"Just pick one for now, honey," Rita said, "we can come back on a different day if you want to get more."

Heeding those words, Leni pulled out the one she was currently looking at, even though it didn't necessarily impress her the most. She went over to Rita and held up an small orange shirt. Rita recognized it; it was already in her carriage. Yet Leni's eyes were glowing in a way they didn't very often. She understood that her second daughter had some work to do when it came to expressing her feelings, but she was never foolish enough to think that she didn't have any. Just like her other children, she had a beautiful mind, yet there was something extraordinary about Leni opening up. It made the mother smile.

"Very good, sweetie," she said, "Lincoln's gonna love this."

And that made Leni gasp.

"Yay! Linky! Linky!" she exclaimed. She smiled, this time with her mouth open. Her hands were clapping together, even if they didn't always align.

Rita felt like she could cry right there. There was something about the way her daughter's voice sounded (bubbly, high, genuine) when she got really excited that always caught her heart by surprise. An enjoyable one.

The morning of February 13 came as any other. Rita and Leni's sisters did a decent job at keeping the presents a secret. Whenever Leni was tempted to tell Lincoln about the special shirt she got him, one of them swooped in just in time and handed her paper and crayons, asking for a drawing made just for them. By now, Lori had a drawer full of orange shirt colorings.

Leni sat on her bed, holding Bun-Bun. Beside her was a box covered in wrapping paper. Using her fingers, she twiddled the doll around. Meanwhile, Lori looked on from her's.

"You know, I still don't get why you didn't get Lincoln a toy to play with," Lori said, eyeing her own package, "do you really think he's gonna like some shirt that Mom already bought one of?"

Leni, though, grabbed her own present and hugged it, along with Bun-Bun.

"Linky looks cute in orange," she said.

"I don't know," Lori replied, rolling her eyes, "he seems like the type of kid that wants toy. Wouldn't you want toys for your birthday?"

The younger sister turned to her.

"It's not my birthday," she said.

"I know it's not. But if it were your birthday," Lori said, sighing. Sometimes, she felt she should have been more aware of her wording around Leni, "Wouldn't you want stuffed animals or something instead of nothing but clothes?"

Even with that clarified response, Leni simply shrugged.

"I want Linky to look good," she said.

"He won't care if he looks good. He's a baby!" Lori retorted as she recalled a time where she would have said 'boy'. Funny how growing up worked.

Leni, though, simply focused her attention back on the objects she was holding. All she could think about was her precious baby brother opening his presents.

"Kids, come down! It's a special somebody's birthday!" Lynn Sr. shouted.

Lori got up and exited while Leni followed behind, carrying both Bun-Bun and her present. From the hallway, she saw her other sisters filing through with their own. Once they consolidated into a clump, all five of them descended the stairs to be greeted to both their parents and Lincoln settled on the couch.

"Happy Birthday Lincoln!" Luna exclaimed as she made her way over to her. As the other sisters uproared into their own messages. The chorus of girls produced quite the cheery sound, even if Leni was murmuring her compliments under the confusing chaos.

"What's this?" Rita told Lincoln in her 'baby' voice, grinning like a loon, "Your big sisters all got you presents for your second birthday."

One by one, each of them proceeded to hand over their gifts, starting with Luna. By age two, little Lincoln's fine motor skills were improving and he was largely able to rip the wrapping paper by himself, much to his parents' delight. With each toy he received, he smiled and happily squeed.

As this transpired, Leni observed each gift being opened from the back of the pack. She kept both her present and Bun-Bun close to her chest. Even as she imagined her brother enjoying his new shirt as much as the toys, she couldn't stop thinking of what Lori just told her. Sure clothes were still good and cute, but now that she thought about it, toys were also good, but they were also fun. She wondered if she should have picked a toy from the store. Would that have made a good present? Would that have been fun for him?

"Leni, honey. Do you wanna give Lincoln your present?" Rita asked.

Her legs automatically moved forward. Her eyes were having difficulty locking themselves onto anyone, preferring to veer off to the dining room table. Suddenly, she felt this weird feeling, as if she didn't want to see Lincoln. Her precious Linky. To her, it seemed that Lori was always right; she had made a mistake and now she wasn't gonna give her brother anywhere near as much as she should have. Why did she have to go against her mother, sisters, Lori, Lincoln. Even she understood that she couldn't go back to the store now. Nothing seemed to make sense.

Now, in front of the couch, she stood there, unmoving. Her parents could clearly tell that their daughter's mind was elsewhere.

"Leni," Lynn Sr. said gently, "do you want to give those to Lincoln?"

And then, in a single motion, slid her present and Bun-Bun onto Rita's lap and stumbled back to the clump. Lincoln reached for the wrapped package and ripped it open. He froze when he saw the orange shirt, unsure of what to make of it. Then again, he was expecting to get something he could play with. Rita, though, looked down and saw the stuffed bunny plopped down on top of the wrapped surface. She lifted it up.

"Leni, sweetie," Rita said confused. Sure enough, the girl turned to see her mother and her doll, "Did you want to keep Bun-Bun?"

"Linky can have him."

The mother's eyes widened. She thought that her ears had failed, even though sixty was still decades away for her. Did Leni even understand the question she was answering? Rita knew all too well how attached Leni had become to Bun-Bun. She remembering getting the doll at the baby shower shortly before she was born. For the past seven years and nine months, Leni had been almost everywhere with her friend; she snuggled with it at night, played with it at the house, and sometimes even talked to it. But she also knew that Leni could be impressionable, especially when she's around Lori.

"Are you sure, honey? I know that Bun-Bun means a lot to you," Rita said, her eyes and voice conveying concern. Leni, though, looked blank.

"Yes. Linky can have him."

The mother gave her daughter another look. She watched for a minute, to give her a chance to change her mind. Sometimes Leni did that; she would say or do something before suddenly rolling back. But a whole minute passed and it didn't happen. Leni merely watched Lincoln with expressionless eyes, nothing uncommon.

"Besides, she can share it if she really wanted to."

"Well...okay," she said as she brought the doll into Lincoln's tiny hands. She then curled her lips into a smile and turned to her daughter, "That was very kind of you, Leni."

Lincoln held the doll in his hands. He quickly absorbed the large eyes, the soft fur, the cuddly proportions. He then cheered and embraced the stuffed bunny. The young boy felt warmth with the doll, one that was (admittedly) stronger than that of the rubber and plastic action figures. Leni heard her brother's cheery smile and mirrored his expression.

Meanwhile, the family basked at all of the gifts they got Lincoln, the clothes and the toys. All of them were elated by the joy they had given to their special little guy. And they were grateful that there were already so many people in the house to love, so many birthdays to celebrate.

"It looks like you have a lot of loving sisters," Rita said to the toddler as she gave him a kiss, "Happy Birthday!"

Chapter 16: The Attic

Rita sat at the dining room table, scribbling in a book with a pink cover. Years of experience had made her quite eloquent, sometimes even poetic. She could easily pull out at least a page (sometimes two) just from watching some of the stuff going on around her house, though with seven children and an "eccentric" husband, material was never in short supply. Some days, she even considered writing a novel that could be published.

This time, though, she found it hard to even keep the pen in her hand. She spent most of the morning at the hospital, going through the tests and check ups she was all too used to at this point. She wanted to be more excited, she really did, but the ultrasound didn't lie. It turned out that she was gonna be getting two for the price of one. Her head suddenly gained at least a few pounds. Her heart started racing. Her mind went running.

"Why are you so down like this? It was years ago, you should be over this by now!"

She paused and closed her eyes, shutting out whatever noise was going on elsewhere. She inhaled through her nose, held it briefly, and released. She repeated this several times, hoping the images and voices would fade. Perhaps it was all just nerves, she reasoned. Everything was gonna be fine.

"Bye. I'll talk to you later," she wrote before closing the book.

Sighing, she sauntered through the kitchen back into her bedroom. The first thing she saw was the garbage bag full of old baby clothes on her bed. Children sure grew up fast. As she slid the pink book back into the drawer, she gazed into the open bag. Much of the clothes had become somewhat faded due to their years of use. Maybe someday these shirts and pants would be used again. Maybe by some future daughter (or son), or maybe she'll pass them down to the grandchildren; given the size of this family, that prospect appeared likely.

She gave a small smile before tying the bag shut. Using her upper body, she lifted it over her shoulders and began moving. Lynn Sr. was in the living room, making it easy for her to slip by without him seeing her. She truly loved her husband; he was a generous man that was always willing to help her, especially while she was pregnant. But sometimes, she figured she could do chores by herself. After all, she was still an able person.

Upon reaching the upper hallway, she reached towards the handle attached to the ceiling. Sure enough, the flap opened and the wooden stairs folded down. As Rita prepared to ascend those steps, she heard a door creak open.

"Mommy."

Stunned, she turned to see Leni standing in the middle of hallway with a paper in her hand.

"Oh hi Leni," she said, setting down the bag on one of the steps. Her eyes then turned to the white paper her daughter was holding, "What's that you have there?"

The girl then held it up to present a drawing of a dress, however the paper completely blocked her face. It was long, flowing, and was splashed with rainbow colors. The border lines were remarkably neat, the coloring was bold, and the design was unlike anything Rita had ever seen at the mall.

"I wanted to show it to Linky and you and Daddy and Lori and all of my sisters," she said softly. Then, she lowered it enough to reveal a gentle smile of her own. To the mother, it seemed like her daughter's drawing wasn't the only skill that was improving.

"It looks wonderful, honey," Rita replied warmly.

But then, Leni's eyes veered from her mother to the black garbage bag. Her face suddenly took on a look of curiosity.

"What's in that thingy?" she asked, pointing to it with her free hand.

"These are some extra baby clothes. We don't need them right now and there's not exactly a lot of room elsewhere, so I was putting them up in the attic with the others."

The almost-nine-year-old's eyes wandered to the dim space above the ceiling. And then some exciting prospects popped up, ones that quickly overwhelmed her.

"Can I go up? I want to see all the clothes! Clothes! Clothes!" Leni exclaimed, running up to hug both the bag and her mother's leg. Rita, though, put on a look of confusion.

"You've never wanted to go into the attic," she said, briefly turning her head to the path above.

"But I didn't know there were clothes up there!" Leni replied, gripping the bag, "I wanna see them! Touch them! Put them on! Please!"

Rita looked back up the stairs, as if she could see its contents from her spot. She then then turned back to her daughter, who's dangerously wide smile said it all. What was wrong with some clothes? And how could she say no to that face. She exhaled.

"Okay," she said. As the young girl cheered, both of them ascended the steps. Over the years, the attic has been a place of ever-shrinking space. Boxes, bags, golf bags, tents, computers, television sets, and books had accumulated in the space. Every object had a film of dust of it, although some clearly had a thicker coat than others. Leni stood on the wooden floor and took in all the clutter, many of it she had never seen before.

"Oh Leni. There are a bunch of clothes over here," Rita said as she settled the newest bag on top of older ones that were covered in dust and wood chips. The fascinated young girl approached the mountain of black garbage bags with her wide eyes in awe. The blonde knelt down as her mother helped her untie the various knots. Once they were free, the contents emerged in the form of various clumps. Sure enough, the bags were filled with small shirts, dresses, pants, overalls, shorts, socks, and other forms of apparel. Her hands dug deep into the pile and began pulling out various articles. As she grabbed each one, she examined it closely. Her mouth dropped open as she came to admire each creation.

"Leni!"

As she continued her excavation, Lori emerged from the steps with a noticeable frown and furrowed brows.

"How many times have I told you to not my colored pencils?! Do you have any idea how long it took me to find all of them?!"

"Lori. That's no way to talk to your little sister," Rita said firmly.

"But it happens all the time! I keep telling her to only use her crayons and her colored pencils. But then when I come into my room, my drawers are literally raided," Lori protested, crossing her arms.

Rita came to understand her daughter's frustration. Sure she would have appreciated if Lori had taken the initiative the issue to bring it to her attention, but better late than never, she concluded. With that, she turned to the other.

"Leni," she said carefully, "if you want more crayons or colored pencils, why don't you just ask me? That way you don't need to take Lori's."

The eldest daughter rolled her eyes at this display. Sometimes, she felt like Leni got off too easily. Meanwhile, the second daughter merely shrugged as she went back to her search.

"Honey," Rita repeated. This time, Leni turned around with a blank face to see her mother and older sister, "Do you want me to get you more colored pencils?"

A brief delay. And then, the girl silently nodded before turning back to the garbage bags.

"Rita! Your assistance is needed urgently!" Lynn Sr. shouted.

The wife understood that even though her husband was generally a good father, there were times where he was overwhelmed. Like when one of the sisters got into rough housing or if they get sick on the couch. Whatever it was, she had to accept that it couldn't wait. She then gave both her oldest daughters a long gaze before pressing her lips.

"I'll leave you up here," she said, "just be sure to look out for each other. And don't make a big mess."

"Rita!"

"Coming dearie," she fired back. She then jerked her head to the daughters, "I'll be right back," she said before rushing down the steps.

Lori sighed and leaned against some boxes.

"Really," she said, "you're up here to look at some dumb clothes that don't fit you."

The only response she got was the crunching sound the bag's plastic made as the articles shifted around its interior.

With that, the eldest daughter's eyes scanned around the dilapidated "museum". She figured that since Leni was gonna be a while, she might as well take a gander at what the attic had to offer.

Lori got up and wandered to various corners of the space, looking through boxes. It was hard to get close to anything without coughing, yet some of the sights she had to admit were a little interesting. She found some really old pictures of her parents when they were her age, along with various mementos from their childhoods. She found several trophies and medals from various sports, accompanied by pictures of a young, chipper boy with curly brown hair. To her it felt weird that she found this boy cute.

Aside from that, she came across the Halloween and Christmas decorations all stashed in one corner. To think that all this time, she thought they wereu hidden in the equally mysterious basement.

In yet another section was a huge library of books. A lot of them included classic novels, biographies, and atlases. As she scanned through the sheer volume of some of these tomes, she became skeptical that either of her parents had really read and finished them.

Nearby, there was another box full of books with colorful covers. Some of them chose to represent themselves with a puzzle piece, some of them used a rainbow ribbon, others with a picture of some random child using building blocks, and others yet opting for the good ol' stick figure approach with a child and parents. They were all on the same topic (along with similar titles) and her parents had taught her about it some time ago. She understood it all and was fairly accepting, but they warned her to never use it to insult Leni. Regardless, she found it interesting to discover these relics in this place.

"You know, Leni," she said as she continued digging, "You should check out some of this stuff I'm finding. It's pretty cool."

She didn't even wait for an answer before she moved onto the next box which, like the others, was cardboard. She opened it and found seven journals, each one a different color. Suddenly, Lori recalled some vague image that deleted quickly. And yet, these books seemed familiar. Like it was deja vu. Sifting through the box, she found two of them (one of them baby blue and the other turquoise) and went over to the sister.

"Hey Leni. Check this out," Lori said, extending out one of the books. This time, Leni turned away from her precious clothes to see a cover that matched her dress. Enamored, she grabbed the book and flipped the cover open clockwise as well as several blank pages.

"May 14, 2000

''She's here. At last, she's finally with me."''

Even with the sloppy (practically illegible handwriting), Leni recognized the date fairly accurately. And it was then that she realized she had opened the journal on the wrong side. She clumsily flipped it around and re-opened it counter-clockwise, immediately noticing the neater handwriting.

"August 27, 1999

''It's me. And well, I'm pregnant again.''

Well before I get back into this, I should tell you where I've been these last four months.

''Lori has been wonderful. Lynn and I have been using all the advice from those parenting books and so far, I'd say we're doing a pretty good job, even under these...circumstances. We've been sharing responsibilities, taking turns playing with her, hugging her, making food for her, changing her diapers, and putting her to bed. She's been so vibrant, happy, like any baby should.''

And Leni,"

Leni continued reading, not entirely sure what the author was talking about (a lot of the words were too big for her to comprehend). Not helping were the smudges spread out across the rest of the page. Before finishing it, she suddenly decided to flip around to different points of the story, as if that would help her find something she could wrap her head around.

Meanwhile, Lori did a similar thing. She knew enough about pregnancy to know that it lasted nine months. And from watching TV shows, she was even familiar with some of the other elements that came with the process. It was those parts she was mainly interested in.

"September 10, 1998

Sorry, I'm a little jittery right now.

''Today Dr. Kappy showed us our first ultrasound and it's twins! I know most mothers get scared to learn this, but I'm ecstatic. But you already know how much Lynn and I love children, so as he would say: "the more the merrier"!''

''It's still gonna be another month or so before we know if they're gonna be boys or girls, but I don't care. All children are beautiful and I can't wait to become a proud mother of them!"''

Lori felt her eyebrows rise until they almost met her hairline. As far as she knew, she didn't have a twin brother or sister. Who on Earth was her mother talking about? Now ferociously curious, she flipped to subsequent pages in an effort to extract more information. As she skimmed through the various pages, she spotted phrases such as "both girls", "due in April", "excited", and "names".

"February 3, 1999

''Okay this time I mean it. We've finally settled on two names. For real!''

''The first girl is gonna be named Lori. It's supposed to represent honor and victory, which I guess is a good sign for how she's gonna do great things and will fight for whatever she chooses to believe in. I can see her having a powerful fire burning in her eyes that will make her willing to achieve just that.''

''And the second will be named Leni. When Lynn and I first saw that one in the baby name book, we were surprised that it even existed; the only spellings we knew were 'Lenny' and 'Lennie' and they were both for boys. We originally disregarded it in favor of more traditional girl names like Lauren or Linda. But in the end, I went back to Leni because it's rare. I want her to truly feel unique, that she is one of a kind.''

''I feel flustered. Two months is so close but it's also an eternity!''

''I'm sorry journal. I don't think you'll ever understand how excited I am to be a parent. Though of course, you don't have thoughts. You know what I mean."''

Lori flipped through some more pages, disappointed in the lack of answers. As she did this, she turned to her 'twin', who herself was making her way through the turquoise book. Seeing that second book only made her feel confused and even hungrier for answers. Finally, she arrived at a date that was of particular importance to her.

"April 23, 1999

''Its happening. They're coming."''

That was all that was on the page and the handwriting was noticeably thinner and messier than usual, though she figured at that point her mother must have been in labor. As she pondered the oddity of doing something so dull in a moment of immense pain and inconvenience, she flipped to the next page.

It was blank.

There were still several pages of the book left over, yet none of them had any writing on them.

She briefly huffed before backtracking. Surely there was an explanation somewhere in the interlude she flew over in her haste. But even that was moving too slowly.

"Hey Leni," she said impatiently, "Hand me that!"

The younger sister lifted her head and crawled over to hand over the turquoise book. But as this was happening, footsteps resonated along creaky wooden steps. Both the sisters jerked in the direction to see Rita emerging. Once their eyes met, the older woman froze.

Both the books were in clear sight. Rita's eyes were saucers, her throat was clamped. The distance between her and her daughters was a light year. Lori's and Leni's states were lethal. The silence couldn't have been more awkward.

"Mom!" Lori exclaimed as she raced to the parent with the blue book, "Me and Leni are twins?!"

"I am?" Leni asked, genuinely confused.

"We're nothing alike!" Lori continued, pointing to her sister, "She's been celebrating a different birthday, she's a grade under me! I'm literally four inches taller than her! Why didn't you tell us?!"

Leni stared down at the book she was holding. She understood little from reading it, but she was convinced it was about her. And given that her own birthday is in it, Lori's claims made less sense to her. As she tried puzzling this together, she looked back up at her mother.

Rita's pupils became dots. She brought her hand to mask her quivering lips. She felt naked, unprepared, not ready. Her knees locked into place. Mrs. Boxer only had one conclusion from these signs

"Mommy...are you okay?" she heard Leni say. The girl then internalized her teacher's directions and stood up. She walked up to her mother and wrapped her arms around her waist. Rita's head shot down to witness her second daughter embracing her. All that before her vision got blurry.

"Mom," Lori said, her voice now shaky, "what's going on?"

What followed were several shaky breaths and stifled sobs. Both of the girls were stunned by how quickly their own mother had fallen apart. What had they done? Did they catch her at the wrong time? Did something happen while she was downstairs? Following a sniffle, their mother took in an audible, yet steady inhale. Rita then looked up with a firm lip and directed her gaze boldly at both her daughters.

"Lori, Leni," she said. She then paused for another breath, "there's something the two of you should know."

Rita solemnly walked to another part of the attic and hauled out a very specific box. The two sisters looked on as she brought it over to them and took a seat on the floor. Using this cue, both of the girls joined their mother on the wooden, dusty surface. Rita, meanwhile, was breathing slowly with her eyes closed.

"Lori," she said, reopening them, "you do have a twin sister. But it's not the Leni sitting next to you."

Rita sifted through the box before pulling out a black plastic sheet. As this occurred, Lori took a wide gander at the sister who was also paying attention. Rita held it up to reveal a white outline of the sheet. It made out the shape of a uterus and two identical forms.

"This was the inside of my belly when I was pregnant with you, Lori," she said weakly, "see, this is you right there," she added, trying to put on a smile as she circled her finger around one of the forms. She then dragged it across the dusty film to the other, "And this...was Leni."

Leni was fixated on the diagram above. Dates jumbled about, bouncing from one corner of her brain to another, creating nasty knots in their wrath. Her mouth slowly opened.

"So that's me?" she asked softly.

The mother chuckled, but even Leni could tell it wasn't joyous. The sounds were broken, detached, the opposite of what the laughter card illustrated. She turned to her older sister, who appeared equally uneasy.

"No honey," she responded in an equally melancholy tone. It was as if her forced tone was trying in vain to make light of her mood, much to the concern of her daughters, "this is a different girl who's name is also Leni. She wa-is Lori's twin."

"Where is she now?" Lori asked.

Rita froze once more. Without looking at the box, she slid the ultrasound back into its place. Each of those four words felt like bullets. She knew they were coming, but it was impossible to make material from imagination alone. And she shouldn't have been foolish enough to assume that optimism could sugarcoat a situation like this, even with her attempts to do so.

"Well..." she started, as she fought back tears. She cursed herself for letting all those nights in bed slip away like that, all those accumulated hours of cool contemplation washed away in the tsunami of the present, "I wanted to wait until you were a little older, so you would understand. But..." she halted.

She saw both of her daughters with anxiety washed across their faces. Even Leni, who wasn't as used to outward expression as Lori, had tints of it spread across. It was the younger of the two that Rita was more worried about. Would she understand? How would their relationship change? And her progress. All those weeks with Mrs. Boxer (and others). Would she be able to move on? Would she stop? Those thoughts struck her with chills that made her shake.

"Well, here it goes."

"Lori," she said, carefully thinking through her words, "you came out perfectly. The cries you made were wonderful and it was a very proud moment in my life as well as your father's," she said, pushing her lips up into a grin. Hopefully that was enough to get that portion across. But then, just as quickly as it was delivered, the whole mask dropped, "But Leni...she came out too, but..." she paused. Once again she closed her eyes. She took several moments to clear her mind.

"She had troubles after coming out. The doctors did everything they could to help her, but," she then looked up and faced both her daughters intently with watery eyes, "they couldn't save her."

The two girls were stunned. There was barely any evidence of such an event occurring. For as long as either of them could remember, there were just enough clothes and furniture to go around. Well...almost no traces. Lori suddenly produced a vague image from several years ago, when she was in the attic with her mom. Those books. She had seen her's before. Why didn't she press her more further back then? Unfortunately, Lori couldn't remember that much.

Meanwhile, Leni was in a daze. At first, she found it confusing why her parents planned to have two kids with the same name. Wouldn't that get everyone all mixed up? She already had enough difficulty remembering names and other things. Why would they throw in another doozy to top it off? But this inquiry was quickly overwhelmed by a wave of sadness. She hated that disgusting emotion; it threw her into a funk, one that didn't go away as quickly as her body language suggested. But she couldn't help it. Much to Lori's outward annoyance, Leni had a knack for connecting with things very rapidly. Even if she didn't always show it, she felt fuzzy in her heart when she came across someone new (even if it was an inanimate object). However, as Lori once told her, things that soared high had a long fall ahead. Whatever that meant, she knew about Mrs. Boxer's cards. And, as the other two quickly noticed, she was clearly devastated.

Leni hugged her knees and whimpered.

"That's...so sad," she cried with her broken, muffled voice, "Doctors help people and make them better. Why couldn't they help my big sister?"

Rita made her way over to her crying daughter and hugged her, pushing back any sobbing of her own. She tucked her lips and started brushing Leni's pale blonde hair.

"They worked really hard," Rita said slowly, "they loved your sister as we did and they wanted to let her be able to grow up," she paused, "play with you, talk with you, be there for you," she then let out a sigh, "However sometimes, it doesn't work out."

Lori was astonished. She felt the force weighing down on her. To think that she was a twin this whole time. To think that within her own family, tragedy has struck. To think that in the modern age with advanced medicine and technology, it was still possible for something like this to happen. Yet she didn't feel her eyes well up. Shecouldn't bring herself to cry. She wondered if there was something wrong with her.

"Mom, Leni. Are you okay?" was all she could bring herself to say.

Her mother turned to her as a tear broke free from one of her eyes.

"It happened ten years ago and your Dad and I have been able to go back to our jobs and taking care of all you," she said as she stroked Leni once more. Each carress was soothing to the younger daughter, even as she cried into her leg, "But we never forgot. She was as much a part of this family as you and Leni and Luna and everyone else," she choked back a sob, "When we lost her, it was one of the lowest points of our lives. And sadly, no amount of time can change that. Even now I think about her, my Leni," she then paused. She leaned in and enveloped her second daughter even more and started rubbing her trembling back, "Thinking about all the happy moments she didn't get the chance to have still makes me emotional."

Lori felt her mouth hang. Even though it has toned down, both of the women before her were still weeping. And here her eyes were dry. It made her feel bad, come across of uncaring of what has happened. Did it even strike her, or was it all out of reach? Regardless, the eldest daughter maintained the need to be a part of this, as if saying something will make either of them feel even a little better.

"I'm sorry, Mom," Lori said softly.

"No!" Rita cried, short of breath, "Don't you ever say that! It wasn't your fault or the doctors' fault. It was nobody's fault," she then shot fiery wet eyes at her oldest daughter.

The mortified mother then cast down at Leni, whose cries had largely reduced to sniffles, "I want you two to know that you and all of your siblings are loved. No amount of pain or disaster will ever get rid of it. Do you understand?"

She caught Lori nodding from her eye's corner. She then looked down at Leni, whose face was still buried in her pant leg.

"Leni," she said, tapping her back, "do you get it?"

"Yes, Mommy," she replied, deflated.

"I never want any of you to feel like you're not loved," Rita said firmly, still looking at Leni, "Don't ever feel like me and Dad regret having you. You are special. All of you. You brighten up our days, you inspire us and those around you. And if you ever doubt that, never be afraid to come to your family. We can talk, hug it out. Because we Louds will always be there for each other."

Leni moved and revealed her tear-stricken face and red, puffy eyes. But instead of a frown, there was a fledgling smile on her face. She gave her mother an intimate look before surprising her with a tight hug.

"I love you Mommy," she said, her voice sore from crying.

Rita then smiled herself and brushed her daughter's long, flowing hair.

"I love you too. You are my sunshine, Leni."

"I'm not in the sky, silly," Leni said, giggling, "I'm down here with you."

As Lori observed this scene, she used one of her hands to rub up and down her arm. It was a little embarrassing seeing this unfold. In fact, this ordeal had be mushy to say the least.

"Lori," Rita said. The girl then turned to her mother's recovering face, "Come over here."

Yet upon seeing her mother's encouraging wave, Lori couldn't help herself. She crawled over to Rita's other leg and hugged her from the other side. Being inches from one of her sisters cranked up the awkwardness to an unprecedented high, but for once, she felt that was a good thing. Even sticks in the mud like her need love.

As she held that embrace, Lori looked over to Leni, who's smile had grown to that of a loon. Suddenly, Lori wondered how this would change things going forward. She knew Leni could be absent-minded, seemingly aloof, or (in the best cases) resilient. But she also understood that her sister had a different way of life, a different brain, a different view. Would she be surprised by what she was capable of?

Did it matter right now?

Chapter 17: Mayfly's Year

"Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear Leni!

Happy Birthday to you!"

The young blonde twiddled her thumbs as she stood before the strawberry cake. Her eyes had no anchor; they shifted from the '9' candle to Lori to her Mom holding Lucy, to Linky, who was to her right. All of their happy faces were staring at her, yet her own eyes served as a window to her own anxiety.

Her entire body was burning up, her cheeks were red, she felt like she would jump out of her skin, and her smile threatened to fly off her face. Generally, Leni wasn't one to appreciate being the center of attention. To her, it was weird for other people to direct all their focus at her, no matter the reason. Usually this happened in class, when the classmates she admired but rarely talked to turned their gazes at her. But family was different.

"Make your wish, Leni," Lynn Sr. said, extending his hand out towards the burning candle.

"Okay! I wish that Linky-"

"Don't say it out loud, honey. If you do, it may not come true. Just say it in your head and then, blow out the candle."

Leni pondered the question for several moments. And then, with an eccentric puff, blew out.

"Please come true."

"Cake time!" the young Lynn exclaimed.

"I thought you didn't like clothes," Leni said, while sitting at the couch.

"You're making it sound like I hate them," Lori replied, kneeling in front of the TV's DVD player, "That's literally not true. Once you get older, you'll start to understand that every girl needs to like clothes. It's the only way anyone's gonna like you," she then clenched her eyes and placed her hand over her heart, although more for dramatic effect.

She pushed 'play' and returned to the couch, plopping herself next to her little sister.

"Besides," Lori said, "I literally spent $30 of my allowance on this thing. I might as well watch it."

As she turned back to the TV screen, she felt a jolt across her wrist.

"Thank you, Lori," Leni said with a small grin, "It was, like, a great birthday present. Thank you, Lori."

"Sure."

The two sat there in silence. Lori held the remote and was tapping the fast forward button, chopping through the advertisements and copyright warnings. The oldest sister occasionally turned back to Leni, whose face was as blank as usual (progress wasn't an overnight thing). And then she thought about herself.

"Stupid Carol! All your dumb clothes and pink purses."

But for all she told herself she hated the girly girl game, deep down she was aware of a curiosity; one that melded her body to that cushion, beside the only person she knew with a greater fixation for fashion than that Carol.

"I'm only watching this for Leni! She loves this mindless stuff!"

And besides, Los Angels was over. Sure she 'forgot' to watch some episodes during the final season, but she made sure to catch that 'dumb, stupid' finale where Marcy and Josh's relationship only grew stronger. Great. She needed something new, especially with summer vacation just a few short weeks away. And what better way to end the school year than with the first season of Runway Master and her little sister. Right?

"My name is Tony Sykes," said a man on the screen with slicked black hair and thick plastic glasses, "and this is Runway Master."

The camera widened to reveal his setting: a large stage stocked with lights along with a long narrow ramp digging deep into the gallery. Skye's proudly stood at the runway's edge.

"Sixteen designers from tailor shops, boutiques, and retailers across the country will compete for the chance to have their creations sold in New York's finest clothing lines! The contestants will be divided into two teams and each week, they will create a line based on a given theme. Their lines will be judged by guest panelists—the biggest names in fashion! The losing team will vote have to nominate two people for elimination and I will personally cut their ribbons short," he said with a mischievous smile, "In the end, only one wil remain. That lucky designer will be named the Runway Master! Along with a $100,000 prize, the Runway Master will join the creative team at my New York store and become a big name in the fashion world!"

What followed was a long montage of all the contestants—their names, backstories, philosophies on fashion, and the measurements of their egos. The two sisters saw the camera whiz from a wannabe star that owns a corner shop in Los Angeles to a farmer whose only experience is sewing clothes for his own family.

"I make clothes because I want all my friends to be as beautiful as me!" a third contestant exclaimed. She was a fresh graduate from beauty school and she docked Paris-quality makeup and a devilish smirk.

"She's so nice. She must be a really good friend," Leni said plainly.

Lori, though, couldn't stop thinking of a certain girl that keeps ending up in the same class. Perhaps she wasn't exactly like that now, but she would literally be that way ten years from now. Those pupils on the digital screen screamed nothing but lies, her hairstyle was completely ridiculous (a bush with loops branching out and around), and that smile...ugh.

As the show progressed, Lori kept finding herself giving quick looks to her sister. For the most part, she appeared normal. She wasn't smiling and her eyes weren't sparkling, but they also didn't look lifeless not was that face a frown. It was just, the Leni look.

The first challenge involved everyone making a "true New York" outfit, whatever that meant. The greater part of the episode involved the production of each person's design, but as Lori soon noticed, not all the conversation was about fashion. Right off the bat, there were people talking strategy and relationships. No one appeared to have a crush on someone else (or at least not yet), but there were already arguments and vendettas that grabbed Lori's attention. In some ways, it reminded her of Los Angels, particularly the mean girls from that show. But on the grand stage of reality TV, these personalities became the highlight. And Lori couldn't get enough. Leni, though, appeared unmoved.

Lori still routinely checked in on her sister. She knew that Leni's body language wasn't always the window to her soul, but there were several moments where she became uncertain. Was Leni even enjoying this? Was there enough clothes going around? Could she even follow what was happening?

Soon enough, it came time to present the teams' lines. The stage was lit in the tackiest neon pink, white, and yellow millions of dollars could buy. At the end of the blessed runway were Sykes and four other people in sophisticated attire eagerly awaiting.

"Come on in!"

One by one, each of the contestants emerged from behind the curtain along with an attractive model (a well chiseled figure) wearing their creation. The contestant then described a variety of details—the "inspiration", the fabric, seams, colors, and texture. As expected for a theme as nebulous as "New York", there were a plethora of interpretations. Some envisioned street clothes (to empower the average Joe), others sought to emulate the works of the big names (many of whom were the judges), and still other strove to get their creations into a museum (by being "postmodern").

"You have got to be kidding me," Sykes said incredulously as he examined the work of one woman. It was a plain white dress with sequins on it. Unfortunately, there was a noticeable rip at the bottom and, dare it happen, some of the sequins were falling off like beads, "I wouldn't even give that to Sheila! You should be a freakin shredder instead of a designer!"

The camera cut to a closeup of the woman's face, whose professional stoicism was clearly struggling to stay afloat.

"Get out of my sight!" Sykes exclaimed.

Music played as the contestant trudged off the runway. It was that slow piano sound that Lori could have sworn to have heard earlier in that episode. The next image was the confessional cam, where the woman was wiping her tears eyes, lamenting her failure to please Tony Sykes.

"That was mean. She worked hard on that dress. I thought it was good," Leni said plainly, although her voice also carried out her concern in small packets.

Lori turned to see her sister, whose eyes were still glued to the screen. Was she even talking to her or was she vocalizing her thoughts? Either way, it wasn't every day that Leni spoke her mind.

"Just what I wanted."

"Oh Leni," she said, jokingly, "You don't get it."

Her sister continued staring at the screen with wide eyes.

"What do you, like, mean?"

"I mean that you can't just say everything is good. Sometimes, things are just bad and people need to learn," Lori replied, keeping contact with the disconnected girl, "You can't just say something is good just to be nice."

Her sister's position was unchanged.

"But she still worked really hard on it," she slowly said, "and, like, I could wear that to school because it's pretty."

"It had a rip! Do you really want to wear something that's literally falling apart?"

For a moment, the only noise in the room came from the TV—background music, sound effects, and dialogue. Lori saw her younger sister shrug even as her eyes remained glued to the screen.

"Still, she worked hard on it," she eventually said.

Lori sighed.

"You know, even if you do mean it, you have to have standards," Lori said, vision turning back to the screen. Sure enough, a more elegant white suit trotted down the runway, much to Sykes's delight. But once she looked back, she was surprised to see her sister's blank stare directed at her.

"Stan...dards," Leni said, confused.

"Of course," Lori thought as she sighed once more.

"Sometimes, you just gotta know when something is bad," she said as she pointed to the screen, "Just because people work hard and want it all to be good doesn't mean you have to like it. If you want to be a good designer, then you have to know that some clothes are horrible," her mind then started warping her from the room and bitterness morphed her voice, "Ripped, too big, too small, ugly, stuffy! Sure you can work hard to try to look good or be liked, but do you think Caro-Skyes will care?"

The oldest girl then saw a strand of hair fall out of place, swinging in front of her forehead. In a huff, she blew it.

"Lori," she heard Leni say, "you sound mad."

She slowly turned to see her younger sister who, at this point, looked nervous. Those soft eyes and unblemished cheeks immediately sedated her. How that face worked wonders. Lori grabbed the remote and hit the pause button and then allowed the plastic brick to fall into the cushion.

"I had a bad day at school," she said begrudgingly.

"What happened?"

For a moment, she felt almost relieved by the surprise. Here Leni was asking a follow-up question. She almost wanted to thank her for thinking of it, but then something else invaded her attention. Still seeing that annoying loose strand, Lori forcefully grabbed it and slid it back into place. Meanwhile, her sister remained frozen.

"You know that new dress Mom got me over the weekend?" Lori asked.

Leni nodded.

"Well when I went to school today wearing it," she then paused as her throat seared with a nasty, nauseous burn, "Carol. She came right up to me with her stupid face covered in stupid makeup and with her stupid fancy clothes and she literally called my dress a sewage-infested garbage bag."

No change. Lori was bothered by this. When Leni had the care to ask her what happened, she kinda thought that gripping sensation also came with an urge to emote.

"But it wasn't a garbage bag. It was a dress," was all she could say.

She wanted to sigh again, yet it came out more as an agitated groan than anything else. Maybe that would have gotten through to her sister. A signal, perhaps.

"It's a figure of speech," Lori explained, clearly annoyed, "she said it was ugly. And then literally, my whole day was ruined. No one wanted to sit with me at lunch," she then looked down at her normal clothes, which she had changed into shortly after coming home, "it's not fair. They had to put her in the same class as me instead of Emily! At least she would have stood up for me."

She then felt a hand touch her shoulder. She turned, and sure enough, it was Leni giving a small smile.

"It's okay, Lori," she said gently.

There it was. So why was it so demeaning?

Lori sighed defeatedly.

"Leni, things at school are gonna start getting harder," she said, gazing into her sister's eyes, "the girls you know are gonna change. They're gonna start paying more attention to stuff like clothes and purses, sometimes even boys. And some of them are gonna start getting mean to those that are easy to pick on."

Using one of her own hands, Lori placed it on top of her sister's.

"Leni," she said firmly, "I want you to start making friends. You gotta know how to talk to these girls so you have a leg up."

Sure enough, the girl did just that, securing her right foot on the cushion. She then proceeded to rub her leg as she curiously pondered how that would make her new friends. Lori pinched her nose's bridge.

"No, not literally," Lori said. Even she was astonished by how much she was using figurative language. Usually, she was so direct and clear to Leni. She tried to translate, but the words wouldn't come to her. It wasn't fair, she felt. It wasn't her fault that things were changing for her. Why couldn't girls like her keep pretending that boys were gross or not have to put on makeup every day? Why did everything—along with everyone—have to "grow up"? Defeated, the fingers holding her nose slid up, eventually involving the whole hand in a facepalm.

And of course there was her sister Leni. From what she heard from around the school, her parents, and (occasionally) from the source herself, Leni had been getting by from kindergarten through almost all of third grade (where she currently was). Her classmates were aware of her circumstances and (for the most part) had been at least civil to her. Barring a few minor incidents, no one has teased her for her tics and on the rare occasions she tried holding a conversation, most of them were polite enough to acknowledge her. From what Lori knew, no one hated her sister or grew the need to harm her.

Yet she has also never seen Leni come home with another kid her age. Lori had Emily and a few others. Luna, Luan, and Lynn each had at least one enthusiastic playmate. Even Lincoln had found a circle of friends at his preschool.

Leni, though, was by herself (unless she just wasn't telling anyone in the House). Sure she was into clothes (a good plus), but what good was that if she never willing to open up. Would her classmates maintain their stance of keeping to themselves? Would they still understand once they move on to fourth grade and beyond? Or would they start getting ideas? If she ever found out someone was picking on Leni...she'd rather not think about it.

Rather, she turned back to her little sister, who looked like she hasn't moved in all that time of contemplation. In a flicker, Lori also feared giving that innocent face bad advice. What if it made her as rotten as Carol? She sighed.

"Look," she finally said, "just promise me that you'll start talking to more kids in class."

A pause.

"But..., like, when I do I say 'hi'," Leni replied.

"Okay. And then what do you say after that?"

Silence. The audio kind. And a shrug.

"That's a problem. I mean, come on!" Lori said as she pointed at the frozen still frame, "you literally have no idea how many girls love clothes! That alone gives you something to talk about. You can make friends just from that!" she then turned back to her sister, who still observed with a blank face, "I mean, how nice would it be to have someone to talk to during lunch? How fun it would be to spend hours at someone else's house reading magazines, watch shows like this, and talking about clothes?"

Using her sister's arm as a guide, Leni turned her gaze back to the screen. The still it was paused on had an immaculate emerald dress being displayed.

"I like clothes."

"All I want is for you to be safe. Just please try to get friends because...you'll thank me some day," Lori said. She gave one last look at her sister, whose eyes were once more glued on the screen. She briefly wondered if she even paid attention to her plea. Perhaps, but for now, there was bonding to be done elsewhere. She grabbed the remote, pressed play, and was met by the cacophony of music and narration.

"Lori," she heard her sister say, "why do I, like, need standees?"

Lori, though, only kept her eyes on the TV, watching Sykes sing praises to the contestant's wonderful creation. She wasn't sure if that made her excited or just more jealous. And anyhow, she had lost the urge to keep going on with this matter.

"Nevermind."

Fourth grade arrived sure enough. Usually, the kids were all scrambled up into different classes, but for this year, the school was testing a new program of "community learning", where students were expected to develop interpersonal relationships beyond the confines of a single school year. Because of this, all of the classes in the school (barring the new kindergarteners) were the same as those from last year (the only thing switching is the teacher). So much for a fresh start.

The first few weeks flew by with little notice. Even with the same set of students, Leni started noticing more purses in the class. While they were limited to only a handful, these girls quickly won the attention of others that sought to be as "old" as they were. Some of the boys also started to change a little. While there were some that still cracked girl jokes and believed in cooties, others were starting to develop crushes. As Lori had saw for herself, Leni's class was starting to change now that they were hitting double digits. They may not all have been bothered, but many of them noticed at the very least.

One morning before class started, Leni sat at her desk, twiddling her thumbs. A lot of times, she thought about clothes—coloring them, wearing them, and making them (although her parents swore off getting a sewing machine until her next birthday). Regardless, she got excited with those images, even if she couldn't act upon them. But that's just how the routine went.

"Thanks. I got it from Lacy's yesterday. But don't even bother with it. They only had it in my size."

"Fine. I'll just ask my Mom to get me one that's even prettier!"

"Whatever. Either way, we're easily the most glamorous girls in this prison. Like seriously, don't they know that we have better things to do than be at school?"

Leni looked up from her desk and saw three girls in front of her, chatting away. They were bunched together as their own unit, ignorant of the ambivalent population surrounding them. While she didn't mind too much for what the others thought, all Leni could focus on was the new dress one of the girls was wearing. It was yellow and silky, going all the way down to her thighs. Her eyes were drawn to both its color and texture, a winning combination only a specialty store like Lacy's could provide.

"I like your dress," Leni said, her head directed at the pack. What she didn't expect was that on her first try, she gained their attention. Each of the girls shifted around to see the source of that voice. To them, they saw that one girl that never spoke up in class. They may not have remembered what her voice sounded like, but it was distinct enough so that they could at least recognize (if not be surprised) the few times it emerged.

"Well thanks," the girl wearing the dress said pompously, using the opportunity to show off her attire, "I'm glad we're not the only ones with a taste for true fashion."

And just like that, she and her friends went back to their comfortable circle. Leni only looked on from the outside, ignorant of the fact that she wasn't in it. All she could think about was that one opinion she gave and the approval it received. From her desk, she was at peace.

"Lori's gonna be so proud."

"Leni, Mr. Tyson has been giving me wonderful news about how you're speaking up more," Mrs. Boxer said warmly, sitting at a table beside her.

"There are girls that like clothes," Leni replied.

The teacher smiled.

"I am proud of you. And now that you're talking more with other kids, I think it's time we start learning about the rules of talking."

Leni sat there, staring at the table's wooden surface. In that moment, she was fixated to the pattern of beige and brown, how the two swirled into concentric ovals. To her, someone had to be really good at finger painting to get it from a boring white slate to something mystifying.

"Could you look me in the eyes, Leni?" a voice said. Sure enough, the fourth grader brought herself to attention, freezing herself in front of the the teacher with flash cards, "One rule of talking is to look the other person in the eye. If they are talking and you don't look at them, they'll think that you don't want to hear what they have to say and they won't want to talk to you. And when you are the one speaking, you want to look the other person in the eye so that they know that they are the one you are trying to talk to."

As she spoke, Mrs. Boxer took out a card with a picture of two boys having a conversation together. Using her older finger, she pointed to each of their eyes and their directions, each right on the other. It was an ideal conversation.

"When you talk to the other kids in your class, do they look you in the eye while you're speaking?" Mrs. Boxer asked.

Leni was eager to answer; her throat cleared and her mouth was prepared to open. But then she realized something. She thought about it, for real. And it hit her that she couldn't actually remember how those other girls reacted to her. Sure her body was directed to them at the moment, but she realized only now that she didn't bother to actually see the ones she was talking to. She might as well have been speaking to a wall which, while better than nothing, didn't help her all that much. Sheepishly, she shrugged.

"That's okay. If they do, then it certainly means they like what you have to say," she said as she flipped to yet another flash card depicting another scene, "If you are talking and you see that they are looking somewhere else or if they look bored, then you should ask them if they like what you're talking about. Sometimes, they could be interested and they may not be showing it, but other times they will not like it," she said as she tapped the drawing of a kid with glazed, tired eyes, "If that happens, then you can change the topic to something else that you two like."

She then placed the card down on the table.

"It's okay if you don't like what your friend is talking about either. It goes both ways. The most important thing is that you keep looking at the person if you're the one talking and pay attention to if they look bored or uninterested," she then placed the card back up, using her fingers to emphasize the various details of the 'bored' face, "And always remember to ask if they do look like this. Your friend will be glad that you care about how they feel."

Leni stared at her teacher, trying her best to remember each individual word she heard. It may not have always worked, but she was at least thankful that Mrs. Boxer spoke in a slow, pleasant tone that was easy to intake.

"Okay," she answered, "I like clothes and I think you're great, Mrs. Boxer."

Mrs. Boxer noticed a small grin popping up on her student's face. If what she heard wasn't enough, that little gesture made it certain that she would reciprocate it.

"Thank you, Leni," she said, even chuckling a little, "that is so thoughtful!"

With this growth (this metamorphosis) happening before her eyes, Mrs. Boxer was hopeful that Leni would soon befriend many. Once the girl learned to truly spread her wings, that task, she felt, would be easy.

New day. New year. New decade.

While not as spectacular as the splash ten years prior, the Louds were still excited to be ushered into a new age where anything was possible.

And of course there were coincidences. Given the size and chaos of the world, most people find it refreshing when things line up clearly. In some ways, things become easier. To some, they also create a sense of significance. It's a shame they don't come frequently.

That said, that didn't make them impossible.

On the last night of 2009, Rita was paralyzed by the familiar spasms. Lynn Sr. herded the seven kids into Vanzilla while offering his brittle hand to his overwhelmed wife. The rush to the hospital and the impending wait in the hallway were all too familiar to him and the older kids by this point, even with the prospect of twins.

The stakeout lasted well after sunset and into the night. It was on a date like this that the father was glad that the Royal Woods Hospital was divided into wings—childrrn's, adult's, clinic, stomach pumping. The last thing he wanted (he needed) was for a sketchy character to come within ten feet of his children. For now, he sat on the couch and watched both the New Year's Eve specials and the kids on the floor.

"I'm gonna stay up until midnight," Lori gloated as she knelt before the small TV.

"Nuh-uh! You are so gonna fall asleep," Lynn shot back, lying on her stomach.

"Yeah," Luna added, "Just because you're the oldest doesn't mean you'll be the only one still up!"

Lori, though, merely snickered.

"You babies don't know anything," the oldest said, "Every year, I see each and every one of you fall. Only I would know because I'm the only one of you that's actually seen the ball fall as it's happening. You've only seen clips of it the next morning."

Luan, who was sitting behind Luna, suddenly formed a sly grin on her face.

"Well let's hope no one balls asleep," she said. Most of the family chuckled (Lynn Sr. being by far the loudest), "Get it?"

"Good one, Luan!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed.

Leni sat behind the others, her back against the couch's cushion. To her immediate left was her dad's legs.

"Daddy," she said, tugging his pants. The motion quickly garnered his attention.

"Oh hi, Leni. What is it?" Lynn Sr. said gently.

"Um..." she moaned meekly, "I, like, don't get it. All she said was, like, about falling asleep."

Lynn Sr. smiled and extended his fatherly hand to brush his daughter's golden hair.

"Oh honey, it's a pun. Yeah she said she hoped she wouldn't fall asleep. But instead of using the word 'fall', she used the word 'ball'. As in, the ball that falls on New Years," he said, chuckling as he explained the joke, "don't you get it? It's funny."

What Lynn Sr. got next was a blast of manufactured laughter. He was astonished; Leni had exploded into a series of hacked, forced 'chuckles'.

"It's funny! Funny!" she said between breaths.

Lynn Sr., though, gave a small smile and ruffled his daughter's hair some more.

"Yeah," he said, "it is pretty funny if I say so myself."

For the next few hours, not much happened. One by one, the kids started falling asleep. Lynn Sr. cradled Lucy, who was out before nine. Soon enough, only the oldest two girls were still awake. Leni lied down on the couch, using her father's thigh as a pillow. She fidgeted a little, trying to nestle herself securely into his embrace. At one point, she looked up to see his eyes wide, his pupils racing, and his knee tightly gripped by his own hand. It was as if there were three different bubbles condensed into a tiny waiting room couch. Even in the darkness and limited blue light the TV screen provided, even she didn't need Mrs. Boxer to know about this.

"Daddy."

Lynn Sr. jumped up and snapped his head to the tired Leni.

"What is it, sweetie," he said weakly, as if his vocal cords were being snagged by twigs and branches.

"Is there, like, something wrong?" Leni asked slowly as she rested her head into his form, "you look scared."

Upon hearing this, the father forced his lips to curl into a U-shape, hoping that alone would be enough. He kept that face for a few seconds, but that stare, that stare Leni was known for giving, persisted like the hours that remained in the decade.

"I'm just a little nervous," he sad, placing his hand on Leni's cheek. Like a lot of the other gestures him and her mom gave, she warmly accepted it, "After all, twins are a big deal."

Leni's eyes darted up to her Dad's.

"I love you so much," he said, almost as a whisper.

For a moment, her eyes remained on that heavenly face, as if it were an anchor at the bottom of sea. At this point, Leni was too tired to smile, but those fuzzy feelings fizzled her body, giving her those wonderful flourishes. Then, she slowly shifted away to the floor. In the corner of her eye, she could see Lori's face turned towards her. But as her head started moving to adjust to the new position, she swore that sight were an illusion; Lori quickly jerked back to the screen, focusing on the televised festivities.

"Next up, a live performance by Mick Swagger!"

Soon enough, though, she drifted off as well. The last noises Leni heard of the 2000s was a distant stream of guitar, drums, and some British guy singing his heart out.

"Kids! Kids!"

Just like that, all seven of them shot up to meet their excited father. The room had tints of sun shining through the windows. It was a new day.

"Lana and Lola came out while you were all sleeping. Do you want to meet them?"

And so the stampede developed. Once again, Lynn Sr. guided the children through the narrow, quiet corridors of the hospital ward. They turned into the room and were greeted by the still tired Rita, holding two newborns, one in each arm.

"Good morning everyone," she said softly.

"Happy New Year, honey!" Lynn Sr. replied. And it was then that his eyes could truly register the two beautiful sights before him. The man felt something...new from seeing them. Like magic, a rope was loosened, a string carefully released. His face softened, lost all of its defense, and he proudly approached his two new daughters.

"Hi Lana, hi Lola," he said, his voice struggling to remain controlled in the wave of elation. He felt his eyes stinging with tears and he shamelessly let them fall, "you two are our New Year twins!"

The other children started surrounding the bed, getting their own close-ups of the twins. Even in the midst of the aww's and smiles, Lori still made sure to keep her own eye on Leni, seeing how she was reacting. She appeared fine, celebrating the births as much as the next. Celebrating the new decade.

Spring came as quickly as ever. Even with two new girls around, the House maintained its normalcy. The kids still played and talked amongst each other, even though Lori felt she was getting too old for such little games. As time told, she started asking Mom to take her to the mall to get new clothes. And nice ones at that.

Leni was pleased to see the room's closet fill with new selections, new combinations. It didn't take long for the girl to start observing them, coloring them, and (on some days) wearing them herself. As annoyed as Lori was for this behavior, she understood it was part of the 'package'. And it wasn't all that big of a trade off if it mean she would finally be admired. After all, such a matter was a top priority for the young girl.

With the rejuvenation came Lori's eleventh birthday. As promised, her gifts mainly consisted of new clothes, mostly from the mall. She admired and thanked her parents for getting her such valuable tickets to that final stopping point she now craved more than anything.

But there was one moment that caught the birthday girl's attention. At one point, she caught Leni slipping upstairs by herself. Unfortunately, she was in the middle of talking to the others, so she couldn't follow her.

"Is she okay?"

Before the crowd could dissipate, the answer appeared to be delivered. Leni returned unnoticed. Nothing on her face appeared out of the ordinary, she seemed just as happy as the others for their big sister. Did she just go upstairs for alone time? Had she really gotten above the point where she doesn't need to isolate herself so frequently? It's a shame days like then provided little time for contemplation.

And now that Lori thought about it, the past year had moved fairly quickly. Rapid changes, new additions. Was this just a way of life? Did things change all that much? Was it just a silly dream or thought? For a brief moment, Lori found herself at an unusual crossroad. Too much had happened. Was that what made it nothing more than a blur. But then change struck again. It didn't seem to matter that much anymore. Now there was simply the future.

"Let's hope she likes that sewing machine Mom and Dad got her," was all she could think of before moving on.

Chapter 18: Fifth Grade

"Good morning, class."

"Good morning, Mrs. Johnson," the class recited.

For a few moments, the proud teacher smiled as her gaze shifted from one side of the room to the other. While it most of the teachers at Royal Woods Elementary were passionate about their job, Johnson had a reputation for being especially devoted. She wasn't the best at educating, but she loved children and she couldn't help but take time out of her day to appreciate them for who they were. Her students could tell and they had a high level of respect for her, although sometimes they felt she went a little too far. The silent stare did create some confusion.

Eventually, though, Mrs. Johnson started sifted through her bag. In the midst of winter, it was already stuffed with materials.

"First thing's first," she said as she searched. Eventually, she found two Manila folders stacked with papers, "I have your tests from last week."

Mrs. Johnson, carrying the stack, walked up and down the aisles to hand back individual tests, "Some of you did quite well, others could do better, but I want you to know that I believe that all of you can do it," she announced as she did this, "Keep working hard, ask for help if you need it, and tell yourself that you can do it."

Leni kept staring forward at the clean chalkboard. She nearly missed the piece of paper being slipped onto her desk. She glanced down on it and noticed the 'C-' printed in red. Her eyes scanned the test, being particularly drawn to the x's, circles, and notes scattered across the white and black surface. As was typical for her schoolwork.

It was a math test and it covered operations with decimals (addition, subtraction, multiplication, division). Leni knew math wasn't easy for her, but that never stopped her from trying to get it, to really nail it down. And while she felt she got a lot of help, she was disappointed that it didn't yield ideal results.

Starved by desperate curiosity, her expressionless face scanned the desks around her in search of other red markings. Most of the ones she saw had a 'B' or better. Was the concept that elementary? That even after studying and extra help, she still couldn't match her peers. It was times like these that Leni was glad she could slack to her default look ('indifference').

"Now that that's done, I have an exciting new assignment for you all," Mrs. Johnson said, her voice pumped by enthusiasm. She swung by her desk and pulled out a second Manila folder, "Group project!"

Most of the class broke out into its usual chatter. From their persona experience, they knew that Mrs. Johnson had fun projects, even if they rarely cared for their educational value.

"Alright, settle down everyone," she said over the noise. Sure enough, it did. as usual, she started speaking as she distributed the sheets, "You will each be in groups of two or three and you will work together to make a poster board about the American Revolution. On the sheet provided are some topics you can do research on. I would like you to include at least three topics on your poster. After that, each group will present their poster in front of the class."

Each student took the time to read over the paper and most of them instantly became excited by one sentence on the sheet, "You are free to choose who will be in your group."

"Now since everyone is present today," Mrs. Johnson said as she oversaw the class before her. Sure enough, none of the seats were vacant, "I will let you pick your groups today," her vision then gazed to a bloc of five girls in the back corner of the room, each of them with purses and other accessories, "Remember, no more than three."

Just like that, the room exploded into sound. About half the class stood up and moved around. Many of these kids were barely even thinking about which direction their legs were moving in; they knew who was sitting where. By this point in the year, relationships have deepened even further (and cemented by yet the third year this exact roster was in place). It was common sense.

Leni quietly sat at her own desk. Her eyes wandered from her desk's wooden surface to the numerous clusters of classmates that had developed around her. Her throat was relaxed and had no intention of winding up. Her arm was tired and lacked an interest to rise up. Her deepest fibers were comfortable with maintaining the status quo; why get up and move or talk right now?

But the girl was suddenly surprised by a buzzing happening in her head. It was small and largely insignificant (certainly not enough to get her body moving), but it was poignant enough to make her think. Now that she did observe what was around her, this configuration was more than just a one-time ordeal. Memories of other times flooded her mind of other group assignments. Sure she ended up in a group, but only after the teacher (whether it was Mrs. Johnson or otherwise) asked an already established unit to put her on like a jacket on a summer day. It was a pattern. Why was it only now that she was becoming aware of it, she thought.

"Leni," she heard Mrs. Johnson say as she approached her desk, "would you like to find a group to join?"

Beat for beat. As that buzzing amplified, Leni jerked her head around the room, trying to find a group that she thought might accept. While a lot of them already had three people in them, what she thought about more was her inability to leave her seat. Here she was, having this urge, this itch to prove something and she couldn't get up. To her, it felt embarrassing.

"Is Mrs. Johnson looking at me funny?"

"That group in the back only has two people. Why don't you join them?" she said gently with a smile.

Too slow. Have things always been like that? Was the world suddenly on fast forward?

Using Mrs. Johnson's hand as a guide, Leni's eyes followed it to the back of the room, where two girls were giddily talking amongst themselves. Each of them had purses and distinguished themselves with their sophisticated sweaters and yoga pants, among the only five in the class to adorn such attire.

"Cassidy, Tara," Mrs. Johnson called out. On cue, their conversation halted and the two girls brought themselves to their teacher's attention. What became striking to her was how their faces drained of emotion. They both looked like her in that moment, "Would you mind letting Leni join your group?"

The two girls glanced at each other, their faces remaining unmoved. And then, Cassidy slowly nodded.

Before Mrs. Johnson could speak, Leni grabbed for her things and moved them to an empty desk near Cassidy and Tara. Those empty stares. Leni was aware of how difficult it could be to translate emotions into tangible expressions. Were they all that much like her? That underlying tension chewing at her as she looked back at them. Is that how she has made others feel this whole time?

"So I literally cried so hard when I found out she broke up with him on live TV," Tara said, turning to Cassidy. Leni, meanwhile, twidled her thumbs as she silently spectated the two-way talk.

"Me too! And then my brother came in and he was, like so annoying! He didn't get it. All he wanted was to switch the channel to some stupid basketball game."

"Ugh! That's the worst! When will he ever learn?"

"And he's already in, like, sixth grade. He's never gonna get a girlfriend if he keeps being so smug."

The two continued their fierce gossip about Cassidy's brother (who's name isn't shared). All Leni could do was observe this dome from the outside. And to think this project was supposed to be about something. If only she could think of any potential topic to include with it. Besides, it's not like she had anything else to talk about.

"But then I saw her literally wearing a T-shirt. A T-Shirt!"

"No wonder we don't like her. And because of that, no one likes her. I mean, what girl in their right mind wears a T-Shirt?! How old are you? Like, two?!"

"I uh," Leni blurted out. Her tongue got jammed, the words were stuck. And those faces were staring at her again. Even with the intimidation they wrought to her, she still took the time to slowly untangle and speak, "Why don't we, like, have fashion from the American Relation and put that in our...um, project?"

Cassidy and Tara turned to each other once more. All Leni could was wonder if that's normal. Was it?

"Um," Cassidy eventually said, stilted, "well that's not due for, like, another month."

"But, like, shouldn't we be talking about the project right now?" Leni asked, staring down at the information sheet. Although it had little detail on an initial group discussion, the due date was clearly printed in bold. Additionally, she could make out some of the other conversations happening amongst the different groups. She may not have made out all the words from the clashing noises, but she could at least make out "American" and other words that she recalled Mrs. Johnson using in class. What made them so different?

"We'll get to it," Cassidy repeated.

And the words dissipated. Leni felt like her voice faded out. Again. Cassidy and Tara simply went back to their conversation. All she could do was sit there and listen. A lot of it was gossip (the two girls complaining about other people and inconveniences of daily life). They talked a lot about their proclaimed friends and what they were up to. Setting frequently bounced from one friend's house to another's back to the school, followed by a trip to the mall, and then back to Tara's house before having to go to 'lame old school'. Cassidy and Tara were awfully fast talkers. Too fast. Even when they talked about clothes, Leni tried reaching out to say how she too likes clothes or how she herself has started making them (thanks to a sewing machine she got for her last birthday). But the window was there. And gone like that.

Was this how Mrs. Boxer described conversation? Cassidy and Tara were both looking at each other, none of them looked bored, neither side went on a monologue, they kept their personal space, and the comments weren't that rude. Leni understood the part she was playing; she paid attention and was actively trying to show that she cared about the topic (especially when it shifted to clothes). But she began observing (oh how Mrs. Boxer would be proud) of her surroundings. Was it natural for a three-way conversation to have the speaker perpetually only look at one person? Was she just being impatient that she hasn't been asked a question yet or given a turn to talk? Was she not smiling wide enough for them to see? Was she being rude in the presence of such tolerant girls?

"The model they got for Tween Queen this week is gorgeous!"

"I know. Last week's was so disgusting, I literally almost unsubscribed!"

"It's all in the eyeliner. My parents were like 'Not until you're fourteen'," Tara said nasally, "Ugh! I hate them so much!"

"I would die! And I thought waiting until twelve was bad!"

So that's what girls in fifth grade read? Leni suddenly felt bad that she had never heard of some of these things. Had she been living under a rock this whole time? Now that she thought about it, she recalled some of the fits Lori got into about things.

"And then it got to the dresses and they were simply fab!"

"My parents will never get it for me! It's so expensive!"

And then she threw her mouth open.

"It must be a nice dress if it's, like, a lot of money," Leni said, desperately trying to get her words in, lest one of the others continue.

The two girls turned back to her. Their eyes, mouths, nothing. Did they even appreciate her input?

"Well yeah," Tara replied, "it's, like, $200."

Before Leni could add to that, Tara jerked her head back to Cassidy and went back to their conversation. Leni gazed at Tara, the one that had the bother to acknowledge her existence. Did she look pleased? Was that enough?

But the answer was two girls talking more about magazines that she never heard of. If only she saw those pictures they were describing, the articles they read, the paper they touched.

And to think they were all supposed to be bonding over the 'American Relation'.

"Leni."

The blonde girl turned to Mrs. Johnson.

"You're free to join Mrs. Boxer."

She then turned to the door and saw the teacher waiting joyfully. It seemed like an escape.

Leni obliged. She stood up, gazing at Cassidy and Tara, who were both staring at her. Why were they doing that? Why couldn't they just go back to talking about whatever it was? That's what the others were doing. Right? Leni slowly stumbled up the aisle, approaching Mrs. Johnson's and Mrs. Boxer's smiling, eager faces. Oh, how they were guardians in that moment. They knew her. They knew how it should be. Right? And that question carried itself all the way out of the room.

"Mrs. Johnson told me you're working on a group project," she said, givin her student a hearty smile, "Are you, Cassidy, and Tara having fun?"

Leni stared at her teacher's reassuring face. What was there to say? She could say 'bad', but then that would make her partners look malicious. They weren't bullying her. They weren't trying to be mean, right?

"Yes...it's about, uh, the American Relation," Leni said.

Mrs. Boxer chuckled.

"I believe it's called the American Revolution," she said, being careful as usual to not hurt the girl's feelings.

"Oh, okay," she replied, her voice clearly unaffected. But Leni couldn't bring herself to look back at Mrs. Boxer. She could only bring herself to keep her eyes on the hallway before her. It wasn't even an act of forgetting; the girl felt a force pulling her in the opposite direction of the teacher, as if she were a spider. Perhaps it was just a bad day. Maybe that silly mind of her's was acting up again. Tomorrow, everything would be back to normal.

"Right?"

Soon enough, they were back in the room. That small, white room with that same old table and chairs. It was familiar. Maybe a safe space was what she needed to relieve this uneasiness. Leni clumsily found her seat and eyed Mrs. Boxer as she casually took her's.

"Today, we'll be learning more about conversation," Mrs. Boxer said, "Have you been talking with Cassidy and Tara?"

"Yes," she replied, even with a voice reminding her of her doubts.

"What topics got brought up?"

Silence. Those precious seconds following the question were far from comforting to her. Were these moments always like that?

"Clothes. We'll get to the project soon," Leni replied.

"Hmm. That's okay. Sometimes, it can take a little time for ideas to come to us, especially on a big project like this," Mrs. Boxer said, trying to sound reassuring. All Leni could wonder was whether or not her teacher was a psychic. Her hungry curiosity wasn't that obvious.

Thankfully, the matter didn't come up again for the rest of the session.

Lunch time came. It was about time. After that weird morning, Leni hoped to forget her distress with a little quality cafeteria food. Besides, they were serving hot dogs today.

Unfortunately, given how she was stashed towards the back of the clumps of students, such relief was quite far. She was stuck in place, unable to move even a step forward without bumping into some poor kid's back. Realizing she was parked, Leni decided to look around the cafeteria, trying to find at least some pleasure in the ceiling, fluorescent lights, nutrition posters, Luna sitting alone with her homemade lunch.

Fascinated, she drifted from the clump. As she approached her little sister, the presence of empty chairs surrounding her became as prominent of the walls in the room. Once she was close enough, Luna looked up and saw her.

"Hi Leni," she said, putting on a smile, "wanna sit with me?"

The offer was too great for words. Leni, without even speaking, took a seat next to her sister. Luna then took out a fresh sandwich from her bag.

"Want half of my sandwich?" she asked.

"No thanks," Leni answered, opting to plant her hands on the table. As she started eating the sandwich, Luna was puzzled by the lack of food her sister had.

"Are you okay, Leni?" Luna asked, suddenly concerned.

To Leni, though, her sister sure was one to talk. Now that she thought about it, she did recall quite a few times in the past where her little sister had brought other girls over the House. She remembered her sister personally inviting her to join them, partaking in their rambunctious antics. Were they all sick that day? Sure it was cold out, but all of them?

"Where are your friends?" Leni asked, "are they in line?"

Luna's eyes widened. Her mouth halted, letting the sandwich mush sit on her gooey tongue. Leni noticed immediately. Was it the wrong question? Was her tone too rough? She tried telling herself she didn't mean it. Maybe Luna would finish chewing so she could answer her. And then everything would be alright.

"Why is still looking at me like that?"

After a long pause (that Leni was all too familiar with at this point), her sister closed her eyes and swallowed her food. All either of them could hear was the unintelligible chatter of the student body. Why wasn't Luna opening her eyes? Leni suddenly felt a rush of anxiety, fearing that she had hurt her sister's feelings.

"I'm sorry," Leni said. She then leaned in and hugged her sister. She felt a jolt as she made contact with the younger Loud. Was she really that invasive of personal space? Even in a moment like this?

"Thanks, Leni," she heard her say softly, "you're the best."

"Why are you here all by yourself?" she asked, still embracing her. She then started rubbing her back, as if that would encourage her to open up. She never imagined seeing any of her siblings feeling sad, especially not Luna. What a day this turned out to be.

"Because I don't have friends," Luna said sadly. Even though Leni couldn't see her sister's face, those words compelled her to tighten her grip.

"What about those girls you hung out with? Aren't they, like, your friends?" Leni asked innocently.

She remembered those times when those girls let her join in. Even if she couldn't recall their names, those girls were wonderful, she thought. They were nice, encouraging, funny, and overall great kids. As was Emily. Leni may not have been a social butterfly, but those memories were simply wonderful. But come to think of it, she hadn't seen those girls around the House much. What was Luna getting at?

"They moved on," Luna said, sighing," They found other kids to be friends with, so...they don't need me anymore."

Leni clenched her eyes as she squeezed Luna even more.

"That's sad. Why haven't you tried to find new ones?"

"Too tight," she replied as she gasped for air, "You're...hurting me..."

The older Loud recoiled and shot up her Ducky arms. Her eyes trembled as she tried to make out each detail of Luna's face. Her sagged eyes and frown did show disappointment.

"It's at me, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry," Leni blurted out.

Luna sighed.

"It's okay," she answered, looking on the ground, "I know you're just worried about me."

That was reassuring, Leni guessed. While she lowered the Ducy arms, she pitted her hands down to her chair's surface. She used her arms as some sort of brace, embarrassed to be in such a situation. Was she always this pushy?

"I have tried to make new friends," Luna said, looking back up to face her sister, "but it hasn't worked out. No one likes the things I like...and I don't have any talents I could use to impress them," she then sighed, "Lori was right."

At first, she wasn't sure what to say. Was she always this slow for words? But what came quickly was a vague recollection of Lori telling her the same thing she told herself some time ago. Was this what she meant? If Luna knew, why did it take her so long?

How long has Luna been sitting alone at lunch? What kind of big sister was she?

Rather than stalling, Leni fell back into a hug once more. It was all she knew how to do.

"I can be your friend," was all she could say.

Surprised, Luna couldn't help but smile. To her, it was charming knowing that there would be at least one (more like five) that were willing to be there for her when she needed it.

"Thanks," Luna replied. It wasn't much, but she meant it. And with that, she too returned the hug, not caring if the "sophisticated" girls saw her acting this schmaltzy. Leni, though, hoped that her sister would be enough to make this silly day all worth it.

Right?

Chapter 19: Present Happenings

"Now whenever you're talking to someone, it's important to remember connotations," Mrs. Boxer said as she sat with Leni, "Connotations are like synonyms, where there are two or more words that have similar meanings."

"Okay," she said as she twidled her thumbs, her eyes losing focus.

"But just because a word has the same definition doesn't mean that it's exactly the same. Sometimes, a word can remind them of other things and that can make them feel different than what you expected."

Silence.

"What do you mean?"

Indeed, Mrs. Boxer expected this lesson to be difficult. But she also knew that she couldn't keep holding her student back; she really was getting better. Fifth grade has been a wonderful year for Leni.

"It can be hard and everyone has slightly different ways of seeing each word, but there are some that are bound to affect a lot of people," the teacher said as she took out a series of flash cards. Unlike most of the ones she had used in the past, these were merely simple ones bought from a stationary shop as opposed to ones produced by a printing company. Each card had two words written by Mrs. Boxer's own pen.

"Leni, could you look up please?" Mrs. Boxer gently asked. The girl obliged like a robot, "look at these two words 'wet' and 'moist'. Both of them have the same definition, but which one would you rather hear?"

Leni wished she was good at these questions. Even with her progress, she still had difficulties here or there, especially when asked for her opinion. For the first time that day, she felt disappointment. Why couldn't she just give a straight answer?

"Wet," she said, her voice lacking any confidence.

"Hmm. What do you think of when you hear the word 'moist'?" Mrs. Boxer asked, using her finger to point to the word.

To Leni, all she could ask was what kind of question that was. Sure there were some 'bad' words out there, but 'moist' wasn't one of them. Right? It was just another collection of letters that people like her use. Unable to answer, much to her dismay, she shrugged. Was she always this oblivious?, she wondered.

"Very interesting," she replied, "you may not mind it, but there are other kids where 'moist' makes them go crazy. These people say that the word makes them feel uncomfortable," she then placed the card down, "It's okay if you yourself are not bothered by the word, but it's important to remember that others might be. Think about how they feel as you talk to them and ask yourself how they would react to words like that."

Leni found her mind accelerating with confusion and anxiety. It felt like the world was making less sense. Why were there so many rules to conversation? How was Lori able to do it all without going mad? Why was she having these thoughts when they weren't there before? What's going on?

"How," Leni started, raising her arms, "do I, like, know if others like a word or not?"

Mrs. Boxer started shuffling the cards.

"There are a few ways," she started, "One is to listen to the words they use when they talk to you or others. If they feel comfortable saying the word themselves, then more often than not, it'll be okay for you to say it to them. Most words are perfectly fine to say to most people, but if you're ever unsure about one, you could also ask them. If you bring the word up like that, then even if they don't like it, they won't be uncomfortable. In fact, they may even be glad that you care about their feelings enough to ask."

Mrs. Boxer gave off a smile, but Leni was unmoved. She merely sat there and absorbed what her teacher was telling her. All the while, her mind was replaying interactions she could recall off the the top of her head. Now that she was thinking of this, she was forced to dig through those words to see if she had done that very mistake. From what she could remember, no one snapped at her for something she said. Right? Yes, and yet how could she know what she had said. She couldn't remember the exact words she had said. It's not like she had paid attention to the words others were saying. And she certainly never asked other's if they were okay with certain words. How could she really know?

"Let's move on to another example," Mrs. Boxer said as she pulled out yet another flash card, this one with the words 'white' and 'pale'. And as she took in the following questions, she had a mantra playing in the back of her head.

"I have a lot of work to do."

"Happy Birthday, Lori!" Rita exclaimed as she gave her oldest daughter a hug.

"Mom! Dad!" Lori exclaimed as she felt red tinge her cheeks.

"Sorry," Lynn Sr. said, barely able to contain his excitement, "we're just so proud to have our little girl another year older. Twelve's a big milestone!"

Even as she rolled her eyes, her lips couldn't help but shoot upward.

"Good thing the girls aren't here to see this."

Eventually, Lori was able to separate from her parents. With the morning now underway, Lori decided to grab an apple for breakfast. She wasn't hungry and she knew she could survive skipping a meal, but her parents would be all over her case. Just last week, her Mom had sat her down for a talk about 'puberty' and 'anorexia', issues that posed a greater risk as she was preparing to start junior high. She wasn't willing to draw more of their attention than she was comfortable with.

Lori headed into the living room and looked around. Thankfully, no one was around (a miracle in a place with nine kids). Once she was assured security, she scanned the apple and its shiny red surface. She then pressed it with her fingers, hoping to sink in a little.

"It's kinda soft."

She slowly brought it to her mouth and maneuvered it in an unusual position. She prayed that the surface was as soft as she thought. And then, with wavering uncertainty, she sunk her teeth into it.

Immediately, she recoiled. Her entire mouth seared with agony. Her pupils became dots. She tapped her foot in the hope of making the pain go away. Although it did recede with time, there was a lingering unease that clamped her lips shut, her tongue to hold firm. Lori then looked down to see the apple, where there was a small crater of dimples on a small section. It wasn't even deep enough to make the red skin dangle.

Lori stared longingly at the "bite". She scolded herself, demanding to know why she picked an apple of all foods. Her teeth had been acting up for a while now. She should have known by now that such hard food was hard to eat.

"Are you trying to make Mom and Dad discover this?!"

She shuddered at the repercussions that would come out of that. But then she found a new determination to at least eat the part she had started. She slowly brought the apple and her mouth slowly started to lower. If she went slow enough, it wouldn't hurt, she figured.

"Happy Birthday!"

She shook. The teeth seethed through, ringing new pain. It was too much. Lori dropped the apple on the couch and pressed her hand against her mouth. She couldn't help it this time. She clenched her eyes shut to keep her tears at bay. She fought nearly instinct to keep herself from screaming.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?" she heard. In that moment, she dreaded that voice. Why did it have to barge in? Even though she tried to hide her problem, couldn't she take a hint?

The pain was impossible. She couldn't see anything, but she got the last thing she needed. Suffocation.

"I'm sorry I, like, surprised you. Are you okay? I'm sorry."

Lori forced her eyes open to see her little sister smothering her. She used her hand to rub her blurry eyes, puckering her lips to suppress the burning sensation. So much for a happy birthday.

"Leni," she said through the pain. Her voice trembled, "it's fine..." she then groaned as she remembered the more pressing matter, "just don't...tell Mom or Dad."

"I know. You, like, told me," Leni said, her head gently fitted over her big sister's shoulder. For a moment, she replayed the scene that just transpired. Knowing that she had caused that, "But why are you, like, doing this? If your mouth hurts, shouldn't they know about it?"

Lori aggressively shushed her, paranoid that others from the other room would hear. All she heard was commotion, mostly from the younger siblings. As the pain started to fade, she relaxed her lips.

"I told you this as well, Leni," she said, annoyed that she had to repeat something she felt was so elementary, "if they find out, then they'll take me to the dentist and he might give me braces. Do you have any idea what that would do to my reputation?"

Even as they held that hug, largely under Leni's discretion, Lori was irritated by the lingering awfulness her mouth left, even in the absence of damage. Not helping was the silence to isolate this feeling.

"Reputation?" Leni asked.

Lori sighed. To her, today was not the day for Leni to do this to her. Sometimes, she honestly asked herself why her little sister couldn't just get it. Some things just had to be known, given how simple they were. Or at least, to her they seemed that way.

"I could lose all my friends if I got braces," Lori explained, getting nervous as the thought came to mind. While she wasn't fully sure they would betray her, she knew them well enough to know that they could let little things get to them. Oh, this path she has chosen, "they literally make your teeth look nerdy and my friends don't like that. Do you understand?"

Leni felt her eyes widen. She suddenly felt a nasty flare in her chest, a weight that she had to bear. All she could think about was her little sister Luna, whom she had been sitting at lunch with every day for the past two months so she wouldn't feel lonely. Even if Leni herself didn't mind isolation, she had slowly come to realize that her other siblings were quite bothered to not have someone to play with or talk to; they always needed someone other than family that liked (or loved) them. And the least she could do, or so she figured, was to support her other siblings' efforts to maintain their friendships.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to comfort her big sister.

Lori sighed.

"You haven't done anything wrong," she said, resigned as she ran her hand up and down Leni's back. At this point, her mouth was numb, "just remember to not tell them...and don't surprise me when I'm trying to eat."

As Lori was contemplating whether her problem had worsened from that incident, Leni suddenly pulled herself away, leaving the older Loud to see her face.

"Happy Birthday, Lori," she said gently.

Now that she could see Leni's face, she couldn't help but feel stricken by it. She never expected that her sister was able to produce an expression like that. Sure, there was a small smile, but the corners of her lips were barely tucked, as if they could easily slip away. And her eyes carried this heaviness that Lori could only conclude was a disproportionate flourish of regret.

"I didn't yell at her, did I?"

At first, she wanted to say something about it, see if she could get to the bottom of this. Was Leni hiding something? Did someone see her lack of friends, her social awkwardness, her slow mind and start taking advantage of her? If anything was wrong, wouldn't Leni or someone else have already publicized it? But after a little consideration, Lori jumped to the conclusion that she was simply overreading all of this. Even though she was supportive of her little sister, she still conceded that Leni wasn't good at showing her emotions; any effort to do so could easily end up looking unnatural or ghastly, even if the feeling was genuine.

"Thank you," she said. And, in addition, "I love you."

Hopefully that should be enough, she figured. Leni got up, still holding that face, and headed upstairs. Lori watched as this happened. She wondered if her sister had only gone downstairs to speak to her and was now heading back to do whatever. Lori noticed that ever since Leni got that sewing machine, she had been spending more time in their room working away. Sure she still came down to play with her siblings, but the others were starting to see less and less of their second oldest sister.

Lori thought to herself that on one hand, this experienxe definitely produced results. With the help of a help book, her Mom, and a (lot) of practice, Leni had become remarkably proficient at sewing; by now, she was able to make shirts of at least four different sizes and styles. While she did find it annoying to have a bunch of extra shirts lying around, she couldn't help but admire her sister's acquired skill.

But on the other hand, even with her improved social skills, she found that Leni wasn't utilizing them much more than she had in the past. Lori felt that her sister could easily make friends (given her kind heart and fixation with clothes) if she could just come out of her shell. It was right there, and yet there was little drive to reach there. Sometimes, Lori was consumed with the question of why. Does Leni even know what she could be? Of what "better" life was waiting over the wall?

"She should be spending time with us! It's my birthday for crying out Loud!... Dang it, Luan!"

With a newfound determination, Lori got up (not even bothering with the apple) and ascended the stairs to their room. Along the way, she noticed the ladder leading to the attic was exposed. Lori made a B-line towards those wooden creaky steps, hoping that she wasn't gonna find something her expectations conjured.

But upon reaching that part of the House, she didn't find anyone. Her eyes raced across the room, trying to spot some lumps. Her ears became attentive as they tried to make out noises, particularly of shuffling. When nobody appeared in the vicinity, Lori proceeded to walk around, seeing if anyone was hiding. In her search, she unveiled various tarps and moved some boxes, common hiding spots. But nothing.

"Looks like she already left," she thought, "Figures that she forgot to close it."

After one last scan, she exited, making sure to close the hatch upon reaching the bottom step. But then, she felt a pit in her stomach re-emerge. She knew full well what the date was. Possibilities swirled as she contemplated the reasons Leni could have been up there. Did she parouse? Did she take anything? How is she feeling?

And then she walked towards their room. Each step was more difficult to take than the last. While she couldn't hear anything new as she got closer, her heart rate accelerated. Did she want to see what was behind that door? Once she was in front of the wooden barrier, she held her hand out. It initially just stood there like an unmoving statue. She tried to make out any sort of sound she could. She thought she could hear some buzzing, but her mind was too preoccupied to think through what it could have been. But then, in a hasty motion, she opened it.

Inside, she saw Leni's back. Behind her was the sewing machine at work along with some elongated fabric hanging off the desk. The soft pounding the machine produced as it nailed in each stitch was a calming drone that even Lori had to admire. But then she snapped out of it, realizing that Leni continued to work, as if she didn't even hear the door opening.

"Leni," she said.

All she heard was the drone. She was in her bubble, Lori supposed. She then wondered whether she should pop it.

"Would that make me a hypocrite?" she asked herself, "Dang it, stupid teeth!"

But what would happen if she didn't? At least Leni doesn't have to hide an orthodontist's nightmare. And besides, Lori noticed that her sister's nightstand had its drawer open. It was just hanging there, begging all sorts of questions.

But on the other hand, she didn't want to startle her. She really didn't want to go through the trouble of explaining herself. Not on a day like this. She figured that Leni would come down on her own time and on her own terms. She had to at some point. And that notion was reinforced when she noticed something on her bed, a thing covered in wrapping paper.

Lori reluctantly sighed and closed the door. She slowly headed back down, making sure to move gradually enough so that any new sound would be detected. None amounted.

Once back in the living room, Lori plopped herself on the couch. That stupid Apple was still there. Trying to ignore that fruit, she grabbed the remote and flipped on the television. Not much was on Saturday mornings. Aside from reality shows. She flipped to one of those weight loss stories. Lori had seen a few of them.

They were usually about some grown up (usually a woman, with the occasional man) wanting to drop a few sizes so they can fit into that fancy dress they went to prom in. Deep down, Lori wasn't a fan of them; they were formulaic and manipulative, trying to suck whatever emotion it could through the most eye-rolling tactics she had ever seen. Some days, she wished she could see something that was truly heartfelt, something she could touch with her hand and feel true acceptance. But her friends had other interests.

She lied down and just let the show play, not really paying attention to it. Twelve years old. Oldest child. Here she was, trying to fit in and be someone everyone (especially her younger siblings) could respect. Her parents have already been discussing letting her babysit now that she was becoming mature. She guessed that was cool. She had even sounded excited when they brought up the prospect. Soon, she could boast to all her friends that she didn't have a sibling problem like they did. And that was exciting. That's what would bring a thrill. Right?

"Move over! The Lions are gonna play soon!" Lynn exclaimed as she jammed herself on the couch's edge and switched the channel.

Lori lethargically moaned, her body unwilling to move.

"You're taking up the whole thing! Move!" Lynn whined, kicking Lori's feet. The older Loud reluctantly condensed her form, allowing her little sister to cozy herself. Lori gazed at the screen where two commentators were throwing out names and numbers that had no meaning to her. This wasn't heartfelt either.

"Lori!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed, "could you join me and your mother for a minute?"

The oldest Loud slowly got up and moved, not looking at her younger sister or the screen. She detected the location just from the sound, a place she or the other siblings rarely entered: her parents' room. It was uncharted territory stuffed in the corner of the main level, a mystery to most. It was a simple space, sure, but even Lori was astonished to absorb each nook and cranny the room had to offer. And there on the master bed were the two parents, smiling at her.

"Well, as you requested," Lynn Sr. said as he produced a wrapped package from under the bed, "none of your siblings will be drawn to it. Unless you want to show it off to them, of course."

Lori was handed the package and felt the flexible, soft surface. It was like magic. She wasn't in the mood, yet it was exactly what she asked for. Mom and Dad were good parents. At least they kept their promise.

"Thanks," Lori said, without smiling.

"Your father and I were gonna go on a 'date' this Friday," Rita said, exaggerating her finger movements, "We'll let you try it out. And remember, it's okay if you're not up to it. Most kids around here don't start babysitting until they're thirteen or fourteen."

This time, she worried that if she didn't reply in a timely manner, her parents would get concerned. And so she nodded.

"No. I think I've got it," Lori replied, bringing the package close to her chest, "And thanks again."

"Anything for our birthday girl," Lynn Sr. said, smiling.

To prevent the conversation from running any longer, Lori exited the room. Besides, her mind was already contemplating how to get this thing to her room without the others noticing. They would see it, with time. She slipped through the corridor, her eyes focused on the presence of other siblings. She maneuvered herself, trying to avoid notice. Thankfully, she made it all the way to the stairs without garnering any of their attention, not even the erratic Lynn. Lori slid up the stairs, her eyes again focused on the presence (or absence) of Louds. Fortunately, she made it already back to their room without being questioned about anything. A miracle, indeed.

Inside, she saw Leni working on her bed with wrapping paper. She was trying to cover a dress with the stuff, again the door's sound failing to throw her off. It was then that Lori understood what was happening and she tried to work her way around her sister to sit on her own bed. With her face to the wall and window, Lori grasped the package she had. She briefly eyed it before ripping through the wrapping paper.

Sure enough, the promise was kept. It was a plastic bag with a Halloween costume inside. It was a drill sergeant costume for girls with all the pieces included. It had the boots, the hat, sunglasses, and even a functional whistle. It was remarkable that her parents were able to get a complete costume like this in the middle of April. She even felt bad that she didn't thank her parents even more than she did.

"This isn't overkill," Lori thought, trying to reassure herself, "This will make me respected. This will make me special."

She then opened the bag and pulled out all the pieces. Sure it wasn't real leather. Sure it wasn't the best fabric. But it got the effect across. And with that, she turned to her sister, who was finishing wrapping her dress.

"Well, Leni," she said, trying to put on the best cocky accent she could, "I'll have you know that Mom and Dad are gonna start trusting me to babysit you all," she boasted as she placed a hand over her chest, "so you and all the others are gonna start doing what I say and there's nothing you can do about it!"

Lori then tucked her lips into a smug-ish smile. She even tried popping her chin. But upon looking down, noticing that Leni's face was blank. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it bothered her more than usual.

"I have some presents for you," Leni said plainly as she made her way over and handed her two packages, "I hope you like them."

Did she not realize the news? Why wasn't it working, Lori wondered. Perhaps because it wasn't Friday yet. But still...

Lori grabbed the two presents. She took the top one and opened it. It was a simple blue dress, just her color. The texture was soft, she noticed rather quickly. None of the stitches seemed out of place; the whole thing felt like a natural connected piece. While she was unsure whether it was the right size, she couldn't blame her if it wasn't quite right. After all, she never asked her for her measurements. And anyhow, she admired how much her sister loves her, that she poured all this time into makin such a fine dress. And to think she was almost eleven years old.

"Thanks Leni," Lori said, smiling, "this is such a wonderful dress."

But her sister didn't smile back. To Lori, that was weird. Even Leni smiled when she saw someone in her family do it too. It was a mixture of genuine affection for family and a compulsion to imitate what she saw. What was going on? Did she simply forget to do that?

Lori then brought her attention to the second present. It was a noticeably similar shape. Not willing to hesitate and potentially hurt Leni's feelings, she opened the present and her eyes widened. It was...also a blue dress. She grabbed it and it was just as soft as the other, just the same amount of stitching, just the same size. It was, as far as she was concerned, the same dress in every way.

"Please don't tell me,"

"Leni..." she said, holding the dress, concerned, "why did you make the same dress twice?"

And then, she noticed Leni's eyes darting back and forth. Her lips even curled inward, forming an overall awkward expression. She scratched her head, moved around. For the better part of five seconds, it was nothing but nonverbal communication. What was she trying?

"Well," she said, "I, like, wanted you to have two. That way if, like, something bad happened to one...then, like,...um..." she paused and scratched her head, her eyes moving a mile a minute the whole time, "like, you would have another to wear."

Silence then enveloped the two. Lori immediately assumed that Leni was lying. She knew her sister was never good at it, let alone hold a conversation. Why would she even try to do that? It was then that the notion struck her again. Did this have to do with...what April 23 meant? It must have. Why else would there be two dresses?

But then she looked into Leni's eyes. Was she about to make things more awkward than they already were? Was she about to draw attention away from the fact that her sister loved her enough to make her two beautiful dresses? She already had enough on her mind. And anyhow, this conversation could be set for another day.

"I will get back to her on this," Lori told herself. And then she thought once more about all the clothing she got for her birthday, dresses and costume aside.

And with that, she got up and hugged her little sister.

"Thanks," Lori said, "you're fantastic at making dresses."

And pulled back.

Leni appeared stunned at first. She was surprised that someone other than herself would initiate a hug, especially Lori of all people. The older Loud understood that confusion. Even she was stunned that she did that. To think that she would be that mushy of a big sister. She was supposed to be an authority.

"I love you, Lori," Leni then said, finally smiling.

And that made Lori grin in return. There was the Leni she knew. There was the Leni she wanted.

Chapter 20: Day Trip

Vanzilla hummed along the damp highway. Leni stared out the window, captivated by the individual raindrops slide down the glass surface. She envisioned them as shooting stars in a night sky, moving in distinct paths at varying speeds. To her, it was magical how they were able to do that even though they were made of the same water, falling on comparable positions on the window. And yet, they always managed to find their own unique travel to arrive at a individual destiny.

She and Rita were the only ones in the vehicle, the two of them sitting next to each other in the front. Leni recalled her mother saying something about this, but was ashamed by her inability to remember. Meanwhile, Rita was grateful for her husband, who agreed to pick up the kids and walk them home.

"So, like, where are we going?" Leni asked, particularly confused. It was a school day, yet she specifically was pulled out.

"I told you. We're gonna visit Dr. Henry," Rita said gently.

"Doctor? Am I, like, sick? I don't feel tired or woozy or, like, bad," Leni replied, suddenly concerned.

Rita giggled, much to her daughter's confusion.

"You're fine, Leni. The one we're seeing is a different type of doctor, not like Dr. Tyson," Rita said. On cue, she slowed down to yield to a traffic jam ahead. She used this opportunity to face her daughter, "This isn't the first time we've seen Dr. Henry. When you were little, we saw him quite a lot."

Leni perked her head, a mannerism she had been getting more acquainted with in recent months. Now she was lost. She didn't remember anything about a 'Dr. Henry' and here her mother was saying otherwise. She figured she must have been really young or...she didn't want to ruin the morning already.

"What do you mean?" Leni asked.

"He helped your father and I understand you better."

The car in front of them pushed forward, allowing Rita to nudge Vanzilla. Once she was anchored, she turned back to Leni. She was back to focusing on the raindrops. Was that enough to answer the question? It seemed that way; Leni did have a way of investing herself in things she finds amusing. Rita then shifted her focus back to the traffic.

"You needed a special doctor to, like, figure me out?" Leni asked in a plain voice, however the curiosity was apparent to Rita.

"Yes," Rita replied.

The rain picked up in fervor, allowing the drops to clatter against the window like marbles. Leni must have had quite the spectacle to witness, the mother thought.

"Oh," Leni said. And then, she turned from the wet window to see her mother, "Couldn't I have just, like, told you like Lori or Luan or my other sisters and brother what I like and stuff?"

A pause.

"Well...when you were younger, things were differe-"

"I like clothes. I like making clothes and touching clothes and feeling clothes. I love Lori and Luna and Luan and Lynn and Linky and Lucy and Lana and Lana and you and Dad. I like those girls in my school that wear clothes and, like, talk about clothes and talk to me. I like Mrs. Boxer and Mrs. Johnson because they are nice to me and teach me nice things and I always try to remember those things because that's what they care about and they want me to do good and be good."

Rita was baffled by how quickly Leni was speaking. She had never seen her talk with such drive over such a long period. Not to mention her eyes penetrating the space separating them, such a direct stare.

"I understand you very well, Leni. Over these past few years, you have made remarkable progress," Rita said, giving Leni a smile, "I know you can tell others who you are and what makes you special."

Any marker of Rita's laughter was reined in as she tried displaying a direct approach. Her daughter picked up quickly. All she could see was her mother shifting her focus between her and the road in front of her.

"But it wasn't always that way," Rita added.

As Leni looked at her mother's serious expression, she herself tried piecing together whatever she remembered. Now that she thought about it, she started to wonder why Mrs. Boxer didn't teach anyone else in any of her classes.

"Tell me more," Leni said, staring at Rita.

The mother turned to her daughter at the next halt from traffic. The convenience of this long traffic jam briefly floated in her mind before returning to the ground. She then gave a small, supportive smile.

"Okay," she said, using this opportunity to place a hand on Leni's shoulder. By now, the eleven-year old was sitting upright, head turned to her mother.

"The first time you came home from the hospital, you were the cutest thing me or your father could have asked for. It was so exciting for us all to have you around. We treated you and Lori with the same amount of love and care and she just couldn't get enough of you. And for a while, everything seemed fine,"

Rita then chuckled as she remembered some adorable antics the two infants got into, much of it flying over Leni's head. Once she noticed that her daughter wasn't smiling, she cleared her throat and continued.

"But then when you were about a year old, we started noticing things that weren't...normal," she then paused. Rita knew that Leni, while not always showing it, could pick up things from even the smallest oversights; she understood that each word had to be carefully chosen.

"Things would happen and you wouldn't react. One time, you were in the kitchen and I was making you breakfast. I dropped a whole bunch of pans and it made a big sound throughout the whole house. Your father was sleeping and he jumped out of bed, thinking a robber broke in," she then looked directly at her daughter, "you didn't even flinch."

Traffic started clearing up, forcing Rita to take her eyes off her attentive daughter.

"Go on," she heard Leni say.

A brief pause as she got Vanzilla moving.

"But it wasn't just that," Rita said, her voice dampening, "you almost never wanted to play with Lori and after Luna was born, you didn't want to spend time with her either."

Leni was immediately conflicted. Vague images began surfacing, ones she wasn't aware of before. While they barely told a story on their own, her mother's words bridged this gap well. Too well for Leni's comfort.

"But I, like, love my sisters and Linky," she said.

"I know you do. You're a very loving person, Leni. But back then, there were times where you were in your own world, away from it all."

The girl then started pouring through all those daydream sessions she had, all those extra seconds she spent doing things.

"And then we tried teaching you how to talk. We would spend hours using the same things we used to help Lori, but we couldn't even get a sound out of you," she said, starting to get anxious by the possibility of an unexpected reaction, "Eventually, we took you to Dr. Tyson and had you examined. He had some ideas of what was going on, but this wasn't something he could do by himself. He's not that type of doctor. So he sent you to Dr. Henry, special Doctor, and he figured out what was going on."

By then, the traffic was mostly clear and Vanzilla was moving at a steady pace. The wheel's contact with the pavement and rain's with the windows were the only audible sound.

"Wait," Leni said, finally making a connection, "is this about that weird word that you and Dad, like, use sometimes when you're talking about me?"

"Yes, honey," Rita replied, trying her best to keep her eyes on the road, "because of him, we found out that you have autism."

Leni already noticed how connections were penetrating her mind; memories that were once isolated episodes were now interlinked to larger trends. But this was the one theme that she felt encompassed a lot of what she experienced. All in one, silly-sounding word.

"So why are we going back?" Leni asked innocently, "Did they, like, find something else wrong with me?"

Rita's eyes widened as she felt her heart jumped and hands gripped to the steering wheel. She was grateful there were no nearby cars, otherwise she wasn't sure what might have happened.

"Leni Loud," she said, trying to ground her voice amongst her shaky breathing and firm lips, "there is nothing wrong with you. You have your own way of thinking and seeing the world. Just because it's different from other kids doesn't make it wrong or less valuable. And you have come so far in making others appreciate all the wonderful things you are. You have blown us away and no words can ever tell you how proud I am of you!"

On cue, Vanzilla approached another spot of heavy traffic, allowing Rita to stop and face her daughter.

"Do you wanna know who else is blown away by you?" Rita asked, softening her lips into that of a reassuring smile.

Her daughter's attentive stare said it all.

"Dr. Henry."

"What?" Leni said, confused, "He's a doctor and, like, really smart. How could he be surprised at anything?"

"Smart people don't know everything and they can't see into the future," Rita said, occasionally monitoring the highway, "When he first saw you, he was worried that you wouldn't get very far. He thought that at most, all you would ever be able to say would be one or two words. But what he didn't know was how much you, your father, and myself wanted you to overcome that."

Rita then turned back to Leni, who had an indiscernible expression. And so, she smiled again and continued. By then, the road had cleared up.

"We found out when you were pretty young, so we were able to act early," Rita said, finding a smile to give herself, "Thankfully, your Dad and I knew tons of people that were able to help you. Remember Maddy?"

Leni was unable to answer, but that name did generate a fleeting image of an older woman with jet black hair. Was that her down there? Deep in the subconscious?

"She came to the house three times a week and worked with you. She taught you how to read and talk," she said.

By now, Leni's cheeks were red hot and her tummy was full of butterflies. She couldn't put her finger on it, but she could easily tell that this was not something she could be peaceful for. Was it embarrassment? Shame? Pride? Why couldn't she figure it out?

"Maddy adored you and loved helping you. But at the end of the day, you were the one that pulled it off," Rita said, recollecting the times she watched over those sessions, "You had this determination to learn how to talk. We were all amazed by how hard you worked. And...well, here we are."

She turned the steering wheel as Vanzilla zoomed off the exit into Detroit. During all of this, there was silence. Rita was consumed by a worry. Does her daughter understand how remarkable she is?

"Can we see her on the way home?" Leni asked. Thankfully, nothing in her voice suggested sadness, "I want to thank her for helping me?"

While her immediate concern was at bay, Rita still felt her spirit dampen. Not that she let it show.

"Sadly, we can't see her in person. She moved away a couple years ago," Rita said softly, "but I still talk to her on the phone and she thinks of you every day. You continue to inspire her even now. She's usually busy during the week so if you want, we can call her this weekend and you can talk to her."

"Okay," Leni said calmly.

For the next minute or so, Rita concentrated specifically on the road. The city was filled with care, low speed limits, pedestrians, and traffic lights. Despite living relatively close, the Louds rarely ventured into Detroit, only going in for day trips. Rita was ashamed by her discomfort with driving in a place that lacked the familiarity of Royal Woods.

"So when we get to Dr. Henry's office," Rita said while stopped at a red light, "he's just gonna do some tests with you to see how you've been doing."

Leni, though, was too absorbed by the sights outside the window to listen. Rita, though, simply attributed it to excitement of being in 'the big city'.

Soon enough, they arrived at the children's hospital. It was a large building wrapped in stainless glass windows. The gray clouds dampened the reflection. Right outside the main entrance was a large blue statue of two stick figures holding hands. Leni admired this simple, yet fitting piece of architecture. Once they found a spot in the parking garage, they headed in a special entrance in a different wing of the building.

The lobby was a colorful room. The walls had rainbows, animals, and smiles painted across, immediately capturing Leni's focus. Rita smiled at her daughter's erratic head movements as they made their way to the counter, where a smiling man was seated.

"Good morning, how may I help you," the receptionist said.

"Hi," Rita replied, "we're here to see Dr. Henry."

"Your child's name?"

"Leni Loud."

The man proceeded to tap the name into a nearby computer. Sure enough, all the appropriate information appeared.

"Okay, yes," he said, giving a smile, "Dr. Henry will see you shortly. Feel free to make yourself comfortable in the lobby."

"Thank you," Rita replied. She then offered Leni her hand and the two walked over to two open seats. The room was fairly empty; they and the receptionist were the only occupants on that morning. Once they were settled, Rita pulled a yellow notebook and a pen out of her purse. She opened to where she left off and wrote in it. Unfortunately, the process had been slowing down for her. Just yesterday, she got a burst of ideas dropping all over the page. Now, she was all tapped out and was practically squeezing her creative fibers for new content. Oh, the agony.

"Are you, like, having another baby?"

Rita perked up to see Leni staring intently on the bright yellow covers. It didn't take long for her to connect the dots.

"No, honey," Rita said, shaking her head, "we're gonna wait a few more months before that...process starts."

She then started scribbling lines onto the page, meaningless strokes to give the impression of progress. The mother lamented the lack of ideas. Why was everything so devoid of excitement?

"Then what are you writing?" Leni asked, her eyes continuing to drill into the object of interest. In that moment, none of the colorful paintings on the walls could have drawn her focus anywhere else.

"Oh...this is just for...um...work," Rita replied timidly. Now was a time more than ever for new ideas, "just keeping track of all that stuff."

"Oh..." Leni said, her voice dropping off. She then turned to look around the room. Rita briefly observed her daughter, making sure she was settled, and then she returned to her book, the pen frozen above the white surface.

Meanwhile, Leni passed the time mostly through sitting. There were some toys strewn about the room, but she had no interest in them. She gazed at the walls, her Mom, the man behind the reception counter. She pressed her hands together, played with her fingers, tapped her feet, the usual stuff. And through all that, her mind running wild with commentary. There was much she wanted to tak through by herself.

"Leni."

The Louds turned their attention to the voice. Emerging from a door was an older man with gray curly hair and thick black glasses. The defining feature, though, was the badge he wore around his neck. Rita got up and shook his hand.

"Dr. Henry, glad to see you again," she said.

"The same can be said for yourself," he answered warmly. The man then walked towards Leni, who was silently seated, staring at him with a blank face, "Good morning Leni. It's been a while since I've last seen you."

Leni sheepishly stared up at the man standing before her.

"Hello Dr. Henry," she said slowly, even allowing her lips to gradually curl into a smile.

"Your Mom has told me a lot about all the great things you're up to these days," he said, smiling as well, "my grandniece is crazy about fashion. She reads all the magazines, see what new clothes are in. She always comes to school dressed to impress. I think she would love to meet you."

Hearing that made the girl's eyes glow, always a good sign to Dr. Henry.

"I like clothes and I make them too," Leni said, the excitement gently lifting her voice.

"I think that's wonderful," he said before turning to Rita. After a momentary glance, he shifted back to the young girl, "we're gonna head to my office now and do some tests. Okay?"

Leni nodded, another gesture she was growing used to.

The girl got up and walked alongside Dr. Henry. Once they caught up to Rita, she took up her daughter's other side and the trio headed through the door.

The hallway was remarkably narrow, the walls saturated with navy blue. For the most part, it was a typical hallway. The only noticeable point of interest was a section where one side was covered in transparent windows. Leni peered through them and saw what appeared to be a ball pit and net above it all. To her, it looked like the perfect playground.

Eventually, the group turned into a relatively large room. The ceilings had blinding fluorescent lights, the walls were the purest shade of white possible. The space was divided into three corners. One had a desk, full with a computer, mini bulletin board, and book shelf overseeing it. In another was a bed that Leni recalled seeing in Dr. Tyson's office. And yet another was a blue leather couch. The one entity connecting these sectors was a prominent circular table in the room's center, stocked with boxes, folders, and papers.

Dr. Henry invited Rita to take a seat on the couch while he and Leni settled at the round table.

"Okay, Leni," he said as he grabbed one of the little boxes. Inside were a bunch of colored wooden blocks, which he spread across the table, "we're gonna play a game."

"Okay," Leni simply said.

"I'm gonna show you a bunch of pictures and I want you to move around these blocks so that they look like the picture. Does that make sense?" Dr. Henry said.

Leni glanced at the collection before her. She then nodded.

"Alright, then," he said. He then took out a packet and passed the first page over. It was a picture of nine squares of various colors and arrangement.

Leni stared at it for a few seconds before glancing down at the block. She slowly raised her hand and grabbed one block, an orange. She pinched it as she looked at the table, trying to determine where to place it within the blank space. Soon enough, she decisively planted it in the middle of the open space. This process repeated for each of the parts as she gradually assembled the creation. During all of this, Dr. Henry observed her and scribbled into a clipboard. After a minute, she correctly arranged all the squares.

"Very good," the doctor said upon Leni's completion, "Now, here's another one."

He then flipped to another page before handing it back. It was a different configuration, but it used the same nine blocks. At first, the girl wasn't certain how to proceed. She just stared blankly at the picture, her mind not really moving. In her complacency, she gazed at Dr. Henry and caught him bringing his pen to his clipboard.

"What's he writing in that thing?"

Was it something bad, something that reinforced the fact that there was something wrong with her? And who could forget her mother, who was spectating from behind. What was she thinking about all this? How would she react if she read whatever this doctor was jotting down? To Leni, these thoughts caused her heart to accelerate and for her mind to wake. Her eyes frantically went to the diagram and she forced her hands to move quickly. She couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. It must have taken less than half the time for her to complete this diagram correctly.

There were about eighteen more of these problems. While Leni found herself able to solve them in a reasonable amount of time, she kept staring back at Dr. Henry, seeing if he was writing in that ominous brown clipboard. Whenever there was a point where she was idle for even a few seconds, panic seeped its way in, forcing her to respond. Luckily, she got most of the diagrams correct.

"Very good," he said. But Leni knew that was the same thing he said after each problem. Now that the test was over, was there more to say? Was that all?, "Now, I want you to take a seat up there," he said, pointing to the bed. The girl obliged and did so. Dr. Henry went to his desk and opened one of the cabinets. He quickly pulled out a white, hammer-like instrument.

"Next, I'm going to test your reflexes. I'm gonna tap you very lightly with this," he said. Her eyes then averted from him, opting to focus on her supportive mom. She suddenly felt her chest squeeze itself tightly, "Don't worry, it's rubber. You'll barely feel it."

Leni then saw her mother smile.

"It's okay, honey. He's not gonna hurt you," she said warmly.

It took her a moment to internalize that. Leni still felt nerves pulling at her, telling her that the hammer was much harder than it was (or at least looked). Dr. Henry could clearly see her anxiety and gently touched her hand. This contact sent shockwaves through the girl's body. She was thrown off by how soft the doctor's hand felt. It was soothing. She gradually felt her heart slow, her nerves loosen, her mind to relax. She turned her head to him, seeing his reassuring face. He looked a man that was only trying to help. And so she gave in.

He hovered the hammer over her knee and tapped it. Sure enough, the bottom half of the leg popped up appropriately. Dr. Henry then went to the other knee and repeated the process, to a similar result. Just what we hoped to see. He then did this to various points on her body, each tap immediately met with a visual and proportionate reaction. All he could think was the dramatic improvement from when he did this when Leni was a baby, where there was little to no jerking movement.

"Very good," he said upon completion, "Now on to the next test."

Throughout the morning, Dr. Henry conducted a series of examinations on Leni. Most of them involved the two sitting at the table working with paper. Leni was tested on her communication, identification of faces, and reading comprehension. To her, this largely felt like a session with Mrs. Boxer, only that she wasn't learning anything new. Sprinkled into this morning were tests that involved moving around the room and out in the hallway. She was asked to walk around, touch certain points on her body, stand up straight, and other odd requests.

As Leni performed these tasks, she felt comfortable completing them successfully. But she kept finding herself noticing Dr. Henry's clipboard. It seemed that every motion, every sound, every second she was in his sight warranted something being written in that thing. It was a question that burnt in her mind, a parasite that wouldn't go away. What was it about her that made him have to document it? Was she doing something wrong? Was she a freak of nature in his eyes?

"Alright. That's the last of them," he eventually said with a smile, "you two are free to sit at the table. This shouldn't take more than a few minutes."

Dr. Henry sat down at his desk. He scribbled down some last second observations on the clipboard before turning to his computer. He opened up a special program and began typing his findings into it.

Meanwhile, Leni twidled her thumbs as she sat at the table. Rita grinned as she was beside her.

"You were great," Rita whispered to her daughter. Leni, though, barely acknowledged it.

The next few minutes were without words. Leni had no desire of starting a conversation. Her thoughts swirled around clothes and clipboards.

"Did Mom just take me here to see me mess up?"

At one point, Leni glanced at her mother. She appeared to be the same loving figure she's known as long as she could remember. Her mom would never make her feel bad about herself, right?

The silence was eventually ceased when Dr. Henry got up from his chair with his clipboard and claimed a seat at the table.

"Leni," he said. The girl shot up, staring at him, "you did remarkably well on all the tests," his vision expanded to also include Rita, "Leni has improved in every aspect. Her reflexes and motor skills are up to par, her cognition and reasoning have gotten better, her speech and reading are well on their way to being up to that of her peers."

Rita's smile grew as more of this news was revealed, as was Dr. Henry's.

"I must say," he continued, "you Louds have proven me wrong. And I've never been happier to not be right."

"Thank you, Dr. Henry," Rita replied. She then gestures to Leni and nudged her shoulder. Leni snapped herself to attention.

"Thank you...Doctor," she said slowly.

"If I may, I would like to speak to you alone out in the hallway," he said, pointing to his clipboard.

Rita nodded her head. She briefly grinned at Leni, to assure her that she trusted her, before following the doctor into the hallway. The room felt empty. Leni's eyes graced through various corners of the room, trying to find some entertainment from the dry setup. She then tried thinking of clothes, what new designs she could develop. Oh, the number of colors and fabrics there were to choose from. She figured she could make a dress for Luna or a T-shirt for Lincoln. They would love that, right.

But then she heard something, some mumbling. That buzzing sensation in her ears quickly caught her attention. She jerked her head back towards the long white wall. It was louder from this vantage point. Curious, Leni got up and pressed her ear against the settled plaster.

"Her progress has been impressive," she heard Dr. Henry say, "I'll forward it to the school where they can then make recommendations."

"Do you think she may not need an IEP anymore?"

"Not right now. I don't think her skills are quite developed enough yet. But I would urge Mrs. Boxer to start teaching her more advanced concepts. And I don't think she'll need to see me again. I also think if she keeps improving, I would say she would be all set to end her Plan at the end of tenth grade."

"What do you think they should focus on for her?"

"Mostly comprehension skills. I feel as if her reading and math skills need the most work. Do you know how's she been doing in school for those subjects?"

Ow"Yes...those are two subjects she's been struggling with. She's not failing, but she needs a lot of help to understand the concepts."

"Hmm. Perhaps Mrs. Boxer can help her out with that on top of speech therapy. Of course, this also ties into cognitive and reasoning skills. Whatever help you can give her will be ideal. But overall, she is on a good track. She should be proud of herself."

A pause.

"I'm...astonished by her. Especially in the last year or two, she's really been blossoming. I got her a sewing machine last year and already, she can make clothes. She even made Lori a dress for her birthday."

"I'm quite glad to hear that. It's good that she's finding a hobby and pursuing it. If I were you, I would encourage her to use that passion to get involved and make friends. I have a feeling a lot of kids her age share that interest and would be happy to use that to befriend her."

"I feel the same way. And she's so friendly that I have no doubt she can easily become liked too. Lately, she has been speaking up more and she's been telling me about these girls she started talking to...I'm glad she's been opening up a little, but her interactions are still limited...I haven't seen any of these girls come over our House to hang out. I gave her a cell phone a while back and she doesn't have any of their numbers on it."

"Just give her time. Sociability can develop slowly in those on the spectrum. She may really like these girls, but it may not be in her nature to interact with others."

"Do you think it's something Mrs. Boxer could help her out with?"

"Only to a fault. Speech therapy can help somewhat, but I think she also needs additional encouragement. Keep asking her about her interactions. Keep praising her when she makes a new friend. Make her feel comfortable doing it. It may not happen overnight, but I think she can do it."

"Thank you Dr. Henry."

She then softly heard footsteps and a door hinge swinging open.

"Okay Leni, are you ready to head out," Rita said, now holding a stack of papers. Leni obediently joined her mother and stood by her side.

"Leni, it's been wonderful working with you," Dr. Henry said, smiling, "you have exceeded my expectations. I want you to know that you have a great future ahead of you."

Leni gazed at him before mirroring his grin.

"Thank you," she said gently.

The three of them wave goodbye and head out. Even as she followed her mother out, Leni kept her eyes on Dr. Henry's supportive figure as she moved away from him, letting him and the (distant) memories of him shrink from view. Once she could no longer see him, she turned her focus forward.

The walk to Vanzilla and much of the drive back was without note. By now, school was out for the day.

"Thanks Lynn."

Fortunately, Royal Woods was relatively close from Detroit. Much of the weather had cleared up, leaving the sky to be a dry gray. Still, Leni found herself gazing out the window, watching the cars roaring along the pavement, the buildings, trees, signs, and other landmarks they raced by. However, in a surprise, Rita deliberately made a pit stop. It was in a parking lot outside the grocery store.

"We just have to pick up a couple things before dinner," Rita announced as she got out of the car. Leni followed her in.

To her, the grocery store had always been a boring place to go to. There were no clothes to be felt anywhere, most of the food items were things she didn't even like, there was nothing to do, and there was nowhere to sit. Leni just saw the grocery store as a place to stand around and wait for Mom to find what she needed. She hoped that this time, mom was telling the truth when she said "couple things".

The two of them were parked in the paper towels aisle. Given the short lifespan of the stuff (and toilet paper), no Loud trip to the store would ever be finished without a stop by this section. To pass the time, Leni leaned against some of the items. She tried thinking more about clothes, of what types she would make next. She thought more about Luna's new dress. But then she remembered Luan, whose birthday was technically next in the calendar year. She lamented how she could overlook a member of her own family. What kind of big sister was she?

"Rita!"

"Eileen!"

Leni was drawn from her thoughts once more as she saw two people approach her mother. One of them was a woman about Rita's age with black hair. She smiled as she waved 'hi' and started talking to her. The other was a boy about her age. He had a white t-shirt, red sweat pants, and unruly brown hair. What Leni noticed, however, was the black tablet he carried in his hand. The boy found himself wandering around the vicinity, touching most of the parcels neatly stacked on the shelves.

"Hey Leni," Rita said cheerfully, "do you remember Derek? You two went to preschool together."

Leni saw the boy still picking through individual items, his back facing her. She nervously wove to him.

"Derek, honey," Eileen said, smiling. On cue, the boy dropped a mini package of toilet paper, letting it fall on the tile floor. He then stumbled as he turned to face all of them. Eileen then gestured to the girl on the other side. By now, Leni had her Ducky arms up.

"This is Leni," his mother said, "you two knew each other a long time ago," she then stared at him and threw up her open palm, "Say 'hi' to her."

"Hi Derek," Leni said, softly curling her lips into a smile.

The boy stared at her. For a solid ten seconds, the two made eye contact. Leni simply smiled, hoping that would encourage him to open up. After all, Dr. Henry said himself that time is the ingridient to conversation and friendship. Indeed, Derek eventually held up the tablet and used one of his fingers to tap on it. She waited happily as he did this.

"Hi. There," a voice said. It was monotonous and detached, however the boy's mouth wasn't even moving. He simply held his finger in midair as he stared at the tablet's screen. He was frozen for several seconds, his face clearly indicating concentration.

Then, the rest of his fingers unbended, forming his hand into a single shape. While holding the tablet with one hand, the other drove itself into his cheek.

"Here, let me help you, honey," Eileen said, rushing over to him. After a whole minute of trying to gesture to him, she saw her chance to finally jump in. She grabbed the tablet from his hands and typed into it.

"Leni," the machine said.

She then held it as she used her hand to work out some of its other functions.

"Who on Earth would name their baby girl Leni?" Eileen thought to herself, "It's not even a nickname! Why couldn't it be something easier to spell, like Helen?"

After typing that name several more times into the program, she handed the tablet back to Derek.

"And saved," Eileen said proudly, leaning into her son, "now you can just click on the 'L' box and be able to find it."

Derek stared off in the distance as Eileen went back to Rita to resume their conversation. Leni observed him, trying to remember seeing him before. After a brief moment, she was able to conjur up several brief scenes of her interacting with him. They didn't say much, though. Did he like her? Did he like clothes too? And, after seeing him not smiling, did he need a hug?

Seeing an opening, Leni started walking up to him, extending her arms out, hoping he would notice the offer. He never seemed to turn away from that imaginary point he was fixated on. She just kept moving. And then, once she was close enough, she wrapped her arms around, enveloping him in a deep hug.

Derek tensed. He was frozen in place. Leni didn't care, though. To her, all he needed was a little affection. But then he started squirming, trying to break away from her. Suddenly Leni was confused, which made her grip him tighter. Derek's lips were clenched, however he started panicking, making a muffled scream. This caught Eileen's attention and she raced over to them.

"Leni, let go," she said, her voice wracked with concern.

Instantly, Leni jumped back, throwing up her Ducky arms. She saw fear and pain in those eyes of his. He screamed once more, bringing his hands to his head. Eileen placed a hand on his shoulder and spoke gently in an effort to calm him down.

"I'm sorry!" Leni exclaimed, genuinely ashamed of the disturbance she caused, "I was just trying to hug him a-and, like, make him happy!"

After several moments, Eileen rubbed her son's back and turned to the Louds.

"It's okay, Leni," she said softly, "Derek doesn't like to be touched by people he doesn't know very well."

"I'm sorry!" Leni exclaimed again. This time, Rita went over to her and hugged her daughter.

"Leni, it's okay," Eileen said, watching the mother and daughter, "you didn't know. And you only did what you thought was best. It's okay."

Leni, though, had her face on the other end of the aisle.

"Is Derek mad at me?" she asked sadly.

"He's not," she heard Eileen's voice say, "he knows that you care a lot about him."

Following a brief period of silence, the two groups calmed down and parted ways.

"Have a nice day," Eileen said as she and Derek departed, the former waving at the two Louds. Leni, though, couldn't help but keep staring in that direction even after they were out of sight.

"Are you okay, honey?" Rita asked, seeing her daughter.

Leni sighed tiredly.

"Yes," she said resigned, "but, like, I didn't want to hurt Derek."

"I know you didn't. But don't worry, he forgives you."

Even with that effort of reassurance, Leni's mind was still consumed by the entirety of the matter. The incident (Derek's screaming) kept replaying in her mind, as if it were a bad nightmare.

"Mom," Leni said, still not facing her, "why does Derek have that thing in his hand?"

A pause. One that was long enough for Leni to discern. What was going on? Was this just a terrible prank that wouldn't end?

"He uses that to talk, honey," Rita answered.

At first, that seemed to make sense. After all, it did speak out words that were tapped into it. It was a simple tool that one could use anytime. But then, she started noticing things. She was suddenly rife with curiosity.

"But...like, why doesn't he get someone like Maddy to, like, teach him?" Leni asked. And, only then, did she turn to see her own mother, eyes full of desperation, "Like you did for me?"

Rita's face told so much. Leni could pick out something wrong. Was her mother hiding something? What could it possibly be?

Rita sighed.

"Derek's parents weren't able to find someone like Maddy. People like that cost money and they weren't able to pay it," Rita said, hoping that was a satisfactory answer.

Leni, though, was still troubled. Her frown was quite upsetting to Rita.

"But...if parents, like, love them, then they could have, like, gotten something," Leni said, her voice succumbing to mere rambling, "what's gonna happen to Derek? Don't his parents, like, love him?"

"Of course Derek's parents love him," Rita said. This time, she kneeled down and placed a hand on her daughter's shoulder, "They did everything they could for Derek. Even now, he goes to a special school, his mom and dad give him all the love and attention he needs."

The young girl merely stood there. Her head fell to the ground, her eyes too tired to be attracted to the neat tile lines.

"It's just not fair," Leni replied softly, "Derek should be able to, like, get the things that you and dad gave to me. He's, like, a good person and I wish his mom and dad had more things to help him out."

From her viewpoint, Leni felt herself being pulled into an embrace. She looked up to see her mother smiling.

"Oh Leni," Rita said, "I think that's very sweet of you," she then looked down at her flustered daughter, "you should think about doing something to help out kids like Derek."

Leni, though, was at a loss of thought.

"Like what?" she asked.

Rita's eyes widened as she looked around. She noticed some of the passer us were staring at the scene happening.

"We can come up with some ideas later," she said. Rita then pulled away, allowing herself to see the entirety of her daughter's face. That horrible frown was gone, "I don't want to put any pressure on you, but I think it would be wonderful if you could do something."

Rita then gave Leni a kiss, causing the girl to giggle.

"Okay, I'll think about," Leni said, finally smiling.

"Good."

And with that, the two Louds got up and continued their shopping. For the first time in a while, Leni found an air in the store that wasn't just boredom.

Chapter 21: Girls' Friend

Leni was lounging on her bed, a laptop on her chest, a gift she got for her eleventh birthday and her second favorite thing to use. Alongside her sewing machine, she spent many hours on it, parousing its various features. Her finger slid across the mousepad as she proceeded to type something.

"I like GarryxPercy. Percy is totes cute and is always ther to help any1 when they need it and garry is a meenee hat just needs someone 2 open up."

Upon tapping the 'Send' button, her comment magically rendered on the next line of the thread. She briefly stared at her own post, reading it through several time, before bringing her vision to site's background. It was packed with colorful characters of varying shapes, sizes, and species.

"Why couldn't they have Percy on there too? He's just as good as all these folks!" Leni thought to herself. She was familiar with most of them, having seen their corresponding series. While she admired a lot of them, nothing got her more excited than Percy.

His lucious lime green hair, his captivating maroon eyes, his round squishy face. To her, what wasn't there to love with his design. And then there was his voice actor. Based on an Internet search, Leni knew it was a man named Jason Quentin. And further searches also showed that Quentin was in a bunch of other shows before taking on Percy on Leni's current favorite Real Times Under the Sun, some of which were previous holders of the girl's attraction. Of course, this knowledge made her rewatch these childhood classics to catch Quentin's voice wherever it appeared, all while connecting it to her beloved Percy. To her, it was fun to think about cartoons, even if they weren't as fun as clothes.

Suddenly, a new message popped up, accompanied by a green '1' appearing under her own post.

"GarryxPercy is my OTP! I died when the two tripped and fell on top of each other! XD"

The '1' was replaced soon enough by a '2'.

"Check out my latest fanfic! Once the writers see this, they'll have to finally come out and make it canon!

http\\:www_fanlore_net/Thawing_His_Rose"

Leni eagerly clicked on the link, directing her to the story. It wasn't too long, only one chapter. Reading it, she followed Garry's first-person monologue of his 'tortures past', although much of it was clearly made up. Leni wished that the show could get more detailed on the characters' backstories. Garry then discussed how he has grown attached to Percy since meeting him in the first episode and how those feelings have become 'overwhelming' and 'humiliating'. She read as he went on about 'how others would react if they knew the truth.'

"Don't listen to those silly words, Garry! No one's gonna think less of you! Percy's gonna say yes! Just do it!"

At this point, Leni felt her heart starting to pound. She was driven into a horrible mess. She killed to know how this would all end, yet her body and mind was too preoccupied to continue reading. What kind of purgatory was this? Who could invent such a terrible state of being?

Just then, Lori entered the room and went to the dresser. As Leni tried to fight the resistance to her reading, her older sister sifted through the various drawers. The clattering noise of items was distracting. How was she ever gonna finish this gripping tale when there's noise to disturb the ambiance?

"Ugh!" she heard Lori say, "Leni, did you take all my hairpins again?!"

She felt herself shrink in, some from the accusation and some from the increasing tension of this story.

"Yes," she said meekly.

"Why?! You never wear them. I need them!"

By this point, she shut the laptop to look at Lori's irritated face (her laser-bent eyes, tight cheeks with several red pimples, clear exposure of all her braces).

"I like using them," Leni answered, "they're, like, bendy and there's other uses f-"

"They're mine!" Lori exclaimed, slapping her own chest, "It's bad enough I'm out of acne cream and breakin' out like a greasy pig, but I also don't need my hair pins disappearing every week so you can play with them like they're toys!"

She then heard Lori sigh and saw her rub the bridge of her nose.

"I'm sorry," Leni simply said.

For several seconds, all she could hear was deep, haggard breathing. All Leni could wonder was whether it was enough. She knew she messed up. And when you mess up, you say sorry and everything's fine. Right?

"Just stop taking all my stuff. It drives me u-it makes me mad. Okay?"

The younger Loud gazed at her older sister, her face displaying a mix of regret, uncertainty, and preoccupation. Lori, though, despite mellowing down through her deep breathing, still had annoyance pinching her cheeks. She sighed.

"I don't care if you want to start using hairpins," Lori said slowly. She then drew her eyes to Leni's clean, unblemished face, "And I also don't care if you wanna start using acne cream."

"As if you need it," Lori thought.

"But," Leni interjected. Her lips jumbled a little as she tried to get a footing on just what to say. Sometimes, her mouth just refused to cooperate, "I don't use your acne cream. Either the thing it comes in is tiny or, like, you put a ton of it on every day."

Lori staggered back a little. Her mouth awkwardly opened, exposing her shiny braces.

"Just ask Mom to buy you hairpins, okay?" Lori asked hastily, her thoughts sputtering. And just like that, she zoomed out of the room, leaving the younger Loud to her privacy.

"Okay," she spoke to herself, "let's see what you're up to, Garry."

"Leni! Could you come down for a minute?"

"Dah! Why now?"

She reluctantly put her computer down and paced out of her room and downstairs. Most of her siblings were hanging out in the living room playing, watching TV, talking. Glancing at it, she figured it was fun, but she knew she wasn't summoned down for that.

"I think that's lovely. But doesn't it get a little too humid when August hits?"

Leni approached the kitchen and saw her mother sitting at the table with her phone to her ear. Rita shot her a look a waved at her. By this point, Leni had learned that the best way to react to such a gesture was to wave back. For the next few seconds, there was visual and (supposedly) audio silence.

"Well I hope that goes well. Hey listen, I have someone that wants to speak with you...I'll hand it over."

Rita pulled the phone from her ear and reached out her arm towards Leni. The young girl eyed the gray brick before looking up to her mother. Her smile was nothing short of encouraging, but Leni spotted something else. She couldn't quite put her finger on it. But it held her off long enough for her to grab the phone and bring it up.

"Hello," she said.

"Leni?!" a voice exclaimed, penetrating the fuzzy static. The barrier was much more noticeable than the girl was used to, especially when talking to her parents on her own phone. Was it an old phone, she wondered.

"Yes, my name is Leni and I like clothes...a-and Ducky."

"Oh my goodness! It's been so long, you probably don't remember me," the voice said, some of her inflections getting swallowed by the static, "I'm Maddy and I used to come over to work with you!"

And now it hit her. It had been a few weeks, but now she recalled the promise her mother made to her. Sure it was a little late, but the fact that it happened at all was something she was impressed by. And it was at that moment that she remembered the few images her memory had of this person. Sure they were there, but to her, it felt hard to relate. It was as if she were talking to a celebrity or Percy.

"My mom, like, told me about you and how you, like, helped me learn to talk and stuff..." Leni said shyly, feeling her body crunch up a little as she stood. She felt herself getting nervous as she spoke, "you didn't have to, like, do that if you didn't want to."

Leni then turned away from her mother, too uncomfortable to see her reaction to all this.

"I did want to. In fact, it was a privilege that I got a chance to work with you, to get to meet you and your wonderful family," the voice said, the tone implying satisfaction, "Leni, your mom talks to me a couple times every month and every time, she always tells me about you. Do you want to know what she says to me?"

"What?"

"She says that you are one of the hardest workers she has ever seen. For someone that had a lot to overcome, you did it! None of us, not her, not me, not your dad could have imagined where you would end up. We all believe in you every day, Leni!"

As the voice dropped off, she could hear sounds vibrating, trying to bend through the audio film. It was like it was trying to break free of the stretchy prison.

"I...I'm sorry," the voice croaked, noticeably weaker than before. All Leni could wonder was whether this person on the other line was okay, "I'm just...really happy to hear your voice after all these years. I'm already blown away by you when your mom tells me about what you're up to, how you're growing into a beautiful person. But this...there's so much I want to say to you."

The voice sounded genuine. She tried piecing together the collection of sounds, seeing if it was what she thought (hoped) it was. All she could ask was if it was true.

"Where are you now?" Leni asked.

"Boston," the voice said, "You and your family should visit someday. It's a fantastic city with lots to do. I think you would love it!"

As she heard the voice speak, Leni slowly found the courage to turn around to see her mother. She swore she wasn't smiling before their eyes made contact. Rita just shot her a happy face the moment she was in her sight. Was that was she was seeing? Still, that didn't dampen the joy she got hearing the fuzzy voice.

"So...my Mom, like, says you still talk about me..." she said, dropping off at the end.

"Yup! Yup! Yup!" she heard. Leni felt her heart flourish and a small grin bouncing on her lips, "In Boston, I work with kids and help them learn how to talk. They're young, younger than you. They're wonderful and they work really hard...Sometimes, though, they get down. They get sad or frustrated or scared and they feel like they can't do anything...but you wanna know what I tell them?"

"Yes...?"

"I tell them about you," the voice said, supposedly with cheer, "Almost all the kids I work with know about you, Leni. Because you never gave up, you always had that drive to learn, and you were always so nice. You're a role model to them!" she then heard a chuckle, "In fact, one of them even has a crush on you."

Throughout the entirety of that exchange, Leni found it hard to stand. Her feet felt wobbly, so she sat down in a chair. Her entire body started heating up, as if it were a cooking oven. She darted to her mother, who was was still observing her. Deep down, Leni wasn't sure how to take this whole situation. Should she be accomplished? Grateful? Suspicious? Oh, why did Mom have to actually act upon that promise?

"I really want you to know that I am so proud of you! Never stop being your wonderful self! I wish we could all be like you; the world would be a much better place."

As she processed those words, she heard what appeared to be a sniffle. But was it really worth that? Still, Leni was flattered, even finding it in herself to smile, much to her mother's delight.

"Thank you, Maddy," she said happily.

"Thank you, Leni! Now I hope you enjoy your day, now."

"Thanks, good bye."

Leni then handed the phone back to her mother. But rather than bringing it back to her ear, she pressed the red button in the corner.

"Sounds like you had a pretty good talk," Rita said, perking up a smile.

"Uh...yeah," Leni said, her voice wavering and her head dipping to her lap.

Rita spotted this and her expression faded.

"Are you okay, honey? You seem a little down," she said, concerned.

Leni, though, merely shrugged. In the moment of that phone call, she did feel excitement. She was happy that her mother gave her that chance, that she gave that voice the opportunity to sound excited. But now, that pressure in her chest has morphed into something. Something that made it hard to make a smile or feel satisfied. She wished she knew why she felt that way.

"Is there really nothing else wrong with me?"

"I'm good," Leni said, this time finding the strength to bring her head to Rita's level. Even though neither of them were smiling, the older woman was at least glad that her daughter was speaking, "Thank you for doing this for me...she was very happy to speak to me."

Rita glanced at her daughter. For a moment, she prepared for a sudden addition or change to her daughter's attitude. Given how unexpectedly Leni acted during the call, she figured something else could have happened. Was it just an episode of poor body language or communication?

"You're welcome. Maddy and I really mean when we say we are proud of you," she said.

Leni, though, simply got up and walked away. From what it seemed, the conversation had achieved its purpose, a reasonable point for Leni to move to the next item of her agenda. But even as she strolled towards the stair, that terrible weight persisted. Unlike what she felt during the call, it didn't leave an exciting anticipation for a relief. It was something nastier. It made her stomach hurt. And her head aged as it struggled to make sense of it all.

"What's going on?" was the question she asked as she was reunited with her beloved fanfic.

Leni was still getting used to the intimidating hallways of Royal Woods Junior High. She had interrogated Lori about the school, but it was still weird having to go to different rooms with different teachers for each and every subject (for the first week, she needed a paper to remind her of when to go to which room). The only thing she was certain of going in was the floor plan, which she studied on the first day of seventh grade.

While she had previously resorted to sitting with the same group of girls at Royal Woods Elementary, she spent the first several days at Junior High eating lunch alone. Unlike before, the new cafeteria was much larger and daunting. The tables shifted from a home-like mahogany to an economic gray. Compared to elementary school, it felt more sterile, more professional. Something about this new air initially made her hesitant to join the other girls.

Not that these woes lasted too long, though.

One day, in the third week of school, Leni purchased her lunch and marched over to one of the tables. Sure enough, most of those familiar faces (all five of them) were packed together in a given section. None of them had any food. And there was plenty of room at the end (most of the rest of the table in fact) for her to plop herself under. Seeing this as an invitation, she sat at it.

"I cried so hard during that scene! She deserves so much better than that scumbag!" one of the girls exclaimed. Leni recognized it as Cassidy.

"I know. And, um, that girl he chose over her! I literally thought Carol!"

"Same!" all the girls chimed in. Leni, though, murmured the phrase, unsure of how it would go. She did, though, somewhat recall that name.

"But then she got the biggest makeover ever and showed both of them up!"

"All she needs now is a man that digs that."

"It'll be totes easy!"

Leni was frazzled by the quick delivery of each line. It was like she was watching an episode of Dream Boat with Lori on fast forward. Even though she could (somewhat) make out the content, there was no room to jump in. Silence didn't exist in this tiny corner of the table.

"So how about that new Boyz Will Be Boyz CD that just came out?"

"I know! I wanna see them live so bad!"

"'Dirty Lot of Trouble' was my fav!"

"Mine too!"

By now, Leni resorted to eating her meal. It was pizza day, so she helped herself to two slices of cheese without toppings (not that there was variety outside pepperoni). Much of the discussion she heard was based on things she was unfamiliar with. Some of it she's heard of, but never actually experienced in full. What was there to say outside 'I heard of that'?

"Stop saying stuff that can't lead to other stuff."

Even with the fast pace of the talk, she was surprised by how little clothes was brought up. All five of the girls were dressed to impress; they were decked out in leather jackets, silk shirts, and white pants. Gazing at these stunning displays of fashion made Leni feel a little embarrassed by her simple turquoise dress.

But it didn't stop at the clothes. They were all wearing lipstick, some of them had mascara around their eyes, and she could have sworn one of them had something on their cheeks. Leni was not one to wear makeup, unlike her big sister Lori. These days, the girl had all sorts of products scattered across their bureau. Each morning before school, the oldest Loud spent no less than ten minutes meticulously applying it all across her face. By the end, she looked pretty and Leni made sure to compliment her (as she knew by this point that Lori often demanded praise).

But Leni herself didn't know how to use it and she never bothered asking anyone to teach her. Besides, as pretty as it made Lori look, she didn't want to spend all that time in the morning. She figured clothes alone would be enough.

Soon enough, lunch ended. The girls got up simultaneously and stood around their seats, chatting as they (slowly) made their exit. Leni got up a little after and stood, seeing if she could join in their discussion of...whatever they were talking about. The clump moved around her towards the opposite end of the long table. Grabbing her things, Leni followed behind the group of girls, thinking this was the requirement for socializing. She figured that even if she wasn't able to contribute, being close was enough. Right?

She never got a word in throughout the whole time.

Leni got caught up with a few other kids in a crowd as she tried throwing away her plastic tray. She did her best to shove her tray through the mob of hands attempting the same feat.

Upon getting it in, she turned and pushed forward. The five girls were nowhere to be found. It was then that she remembered that they didn't buy any food. What reason was there for them to loiter around the trash barrel? To wait for their 'girl'?

"They hate me," Leni said to herself as she trudged out of the cafeteria, alone. All along the hallway, she ganders at the waves of students proceeding to their distinct destinations. For every kid she saw walking alone, there was a trio chuckling and sharing nuggets of insight.

"I don't think I said anything insulting. Was it a face I made? A thingy I did with my hands or something?" she contemplated, her step slowing with each passing word. From the corner of her eye, she noticed people going around her, pacing past her in their hurry to their next appointment. Thinking of that made her slow even more. All those people she's forcing to change their trajectory, lest they bother her. Why was she someone they should acknowledge?

Eventually, she reached a corner out of the way of the main traffic. She stopped to look at the poster.

"Fashion Club

Meets Every Thursday

Wanna come talk about clothes, make up, and what's popular! Come join us to talk fashion and style your own creation!"

Accompanied to it were pictures of clothes, clearly ripped from Clip Art. Leni had seen that poster every day since Monday. Whenever she saw it, she got excited. To think that there was an actual place for her to relish in something she loved. When she told Lori about it, she said something about making friends. Would the other girls be there? Would she finally get a word in?

Sadly, it was only Wednesday. Sure her parents already knew about it and were completely accepting of letting her do it. The only obstacle, so it seemed, was time.

With that little piece of hope to push her along, she turned the corner to the first door. She turned it open to expose herself to a narrow room. It was slightly larger than that of Mrs. Boxer's. At the large round table was Mrs. Lane, a younger woman with grizzly orange hair and glasses. Next to her were two other boys, Billy and Jake.

"Hi Leni!" Jake shouted, enthusiastically whipping his arm back and forth.

"Hi," Billy said softly, simply holding his open palm over his chest, as if he were using it to defend himself.

"Good afternoon, Leni," Mes. Lane said cheerfully, "how has your day been?"

"Okay," she said as she took a seat next to Billy.

As Mrs. Lane started talking, Leni thought more about those five girls. Even with the prospect of the future, she still was curious. Why didn't they try to include her? Why couldn't they even say 'hi'?

She looked up and saw the gentle teacher write stuff on a white board. Something about didn't feel right.

"Is this really the best for me? Do the others even bother with this stuff?" she asked herself as she saw Mrs. Lane teach.m

Leni wasn't one to protest. Whenever she felt like jumping in or to disagree, she was paralyzed by a magnetic force. It put her in her place. She was no more than Leni, the one that went with whatever others did. And nothing got tense. No hard feelings were had, right?

She wasn't about to spoil it. Maybe another day. When she learned to do it all on her own. But for now, her ears yielded to Mrs. Lane's lesson and Billy and Jake's questions.

Chapter 22: First Impressions

On Thursday morning, the Loud House awoke and engaged it's ritualistic routine. The six older Louds awoke to the blaring of alarm clocks and voices. All six of them crowded the sink to brush their teeth, acquiring their own posture and position to see the precious mirror. Foam spewed all over the sink as each of them vigorously scrubbed within their mouths, generating garbled mumbles over the mess and lack of room. Yet even with this inconvenience, they all insisted on having tooth brushing being the first thing to do in the morning.

Following that, they retreated to their rooms, where space became abundant. Leni promptly got dressed before going to the closet to pull out plastic bags full of fabric and supplies and plopping them on her bed. The task didn't take long. Following that, she headed downstairs.

Meanwhile, Lori was parked in front of the bureau with a full white tube. The girl popped the cap and crushed it within her firmly clamped fist. The cream shot out like a missile, splattering on her palm. Lori mashed her hands together, giving them a sloppy rubbing before slapping her cheeks and lathering them with the white goo. Her nose recoiled at the cold stench the cream produced. It smelled like Dr. Tyson's office, too clean and naked to be comfortable.

The oldest girl pulled back her egg white hands to see her face. It was completely covered in the white stuff, but many regions were considerably thick.

"It's not too much. After all, it keeps my face clear anyway."

After a quick stop to the bathroom to wash her hands (and some of the excess cream), she grabbed a gentle pink lipstick and carefully applied it, making sure to not let the stick touch the cream. She knew it was better to wait for the cream to absorb, but as she liked to tell herself, there was simply too much preparation to do to wait. And on this day at least, she technically wasn't wrong.

From her peripheral vision, she saw Leni re-entering the doorway holding something. Following this acknowledgement, Lori finished the lipstick and proceeded to the other important step, eye liner. She took the black stick and pulled out the black pointy stylus. Unfortunately, some of the cream hadn't fully absorbed left, her face covered with thick blobs of the material.

"I brought you up some breakfast for when you're, like, ready," Lori heard as she tried positioning the stylus. Concentration required silence. She prayed that Leni would have it in her to understand that.

Thankfully, she made the delicate contact needed to start brushing her lashes, beautifying them for the upmost success. After all, it was the bare minimum she felt she needed for friendship. Right now she was in what she considered a precarious position. She had her eyes on five girls that associated with each other and no one else. To her, those five eighth graders were the best in the whole school. They took fashion and 'sophisticated' culture to an extreme unfounded by most of the school. She wanted to compete to win their attention, their friendship. Sure they're selective, but as far as she's concerned, many haven't gone out to try. The in the school that she has seen attempt to achieve their status was (as much as she hated to admit it) not quite in their league.

After several meticulous minutes of work, her eyes were simply glamorous and ready for school. Putting away the stick, she turned to see Leni staring at her eating a bowl of dry cereal. The crunching sound was grating and the sight of mush and saliva behind those crumb-stained lips was gross.

"Please eat with your mouth closed," Lori said, moaning and slouching her shoulders forward. It was at that moment that she noticed a second bowl on her nightstand. From what she could make out, it was the same brand of cereal overflowing in the round bowl, not a drop of milk to be found, "and you couldn't get me coffee or something? You know I don't eat that."

Leni lifted her spoon and pointed at her.

"Please," Lori interjected, raising her hand, "don't talk while you're eating," she then walked to the nightstand and grabbed the bowl. Several troublesome kernels fell as she carried the heavy, overflowing container, causing Lori to sigh, "Let's just eat downstairs. We can come back for this stuff after."

"How stupid of me," Leni thought as she followed her sister down the stairs, all while continuing to munch on her cereal.

The kitchen was crowded. These days, Lynn Sr. took it upon himself to make breakfast to the growing number of school-age children while Rita watched over the younger ones. The other four kids crowded around the round table, eating eggs and bacon while drinking orange juice. Lori placed her bowl on the counter, went to the drawer and pulled out a spoon. She briefly glanced at Leni (who was staring at her) before eating the dry cereal as it was.

As she ate, Lori thought about the day ahead. She'd rather spend it talking to her friends, especially about their predictions for upcoming episodes of Dream Boat. To them, that new show was a sensation. But instead, she agreed to help Leni bring supplies to school. Sure she was glad her older sister was reaching out more, but this was way more than what was required. All week, she had been moving steadfast to promote the new Fashion Club; she forced it into conversations, helped hang signs up around the school, and she would even be attending it. With all this work put in, all she could wonder was if anyone would show up. Given the high class attire of some of the girls she came across, there had to be at least a few takers.

After finishing the bowl, she plopped it in the sink. Simultaneously, Leni did the same thing (Lori observed how there were still some kernels left in her sister's). The two of them headed upstairs and entered the nursery room. Rita spent her mornings in there caring for Lucy, the twins, and the latest arrival (the two-week old Lisa).

The room was a mess. While Lucy was lying in bed, Lana and Lola were chasing each other around the room, stumbling about with their fast legs. Meanwhile, Rita sat in a rocking chair with Lisa. White flash cards were strewn all over the floor and the very youngest Loud was head deep in a book (a thick hard cover). Rita awkwardly held her hands up, struggling to find a learning opportunity for her daughter.

"Oh. Good morning kids," Rita said, looking up at the two oldest. There were prominent bags under her eyes and her voice was weak.

"We're heading out," Lori said.

Rita then yawned.

"Alright kids. I love you...have a nice day," she said before her face fell to the book Lisa was reading.

With that, the two girls headed to their bedroom and started collecting the bags of materials. Lori groaned at the excessive amount of materials her sister bought.

"Does she really think we're going use this much? At our first meeting?!"

With all of their hands clenched with multiple plastic bags, they made their way back down to the front door.

"We're heading out Dad! Bye!" Lori shouted.

"Bye girls! I love you!"

"Love you too!" Leni replied, eagerly smiling.

The walk to school was mostly routine (even with all the bags clunking around). The weather was accommodating, minimal noise, and they had each other. Lori gazed at her sister, who was mostly staring forward. Nothing about her demeanor suggested anything really.

"So," Lori said, trying to break the ice, "do we just, you know, drop it off at Mrs. Barnes as soon as we get there?"

"Yes."

She already knew the answer (as if they were gonna haul these things around all day) but Lori became desperate to get her younger sister talking. Even with her growth, Leni still had difficulty initiating conversation, becoming the one that got the ball rolling, the sewing machine running.

"Have you talked to anyone about the club?" Lori asked.

"Kinda," Leni replied flatly, "I told it to some girls and they said they'll think about it."

There's no question that Leni was telling the truth. Even Lori knew by this point that her little sister had started speaking up, asking questions when push came to shove (or if someone brought up clothes). Lori was glad about this, but she also knew that speaking alone wasn't enough to craft friendship (or even commitment to a brand new club).

"Do you know the names of any of the ones you talked to?" she asked.

Leni briefly stared at the sky, as if the clouds would rain down the answer.

"Like, one of them was Lori and I think another was, like, named Penelope. And I, like, don't know who the other one was," Leni said.

"Are those the only three you talked to?"

Rather than speaking up, she merely shrugged. All Lori could assume was that they were the only three. And to think that she had spread it to at least thirty over several days. She figured it was best to not even ask when her sister talked to each of the three she just mentioned.

For the most part, the two walked in silence. Leni shifted her head continuously to intake the sights she was used to from walking this same path every day for the last few weeks. Each house they passed had a unique feature to it (a coat of a certain color, a cute garden decoration, an interesting roof).

"Lori."

The older Loud shot over to Leni, who was still looking forward.

"Do you think that I'm, like, a likeable person?" Leni asked plainly.

Lori was taken aback. Did she hear that right? To think that she herself spent so much time trying to cultivate her own popularity. Her younger sister had always seemed to not be aware of matters like this. It was surprising to say the least.

"Well," she started, moving slowly, "of course you are...why do you ask?"

Leni shrugged.

"Just wondering."

The older sister watched her sister, causing the latter to veer her head to the houses they were passing. This avoidance caught Lori's curiosity. For a few fleeting moments, she felt there was something else going on. She wondered if she really understood her younger sister as much as she thought. Sure Leni was relatively quiet and she could be reclusive at times, but she knew her as well as anyone else (barring her parents of course). And she boasted herself as being someone that would look out for her in this tumultuous battleground known as junior high.

Leni chuckled, breaking Lori's train of thought.

"It's, like, so nice out today," the younger Loud said, her eyes glimpsing at certain sights without resting on anyone, "like, don't you think so too?"

"Uh, yeah," Lori said, confused. She was even more baffled by the direction of their exchanges. Most of their interactions never had Leni speak in such a vocal yet meandering fashion.

"How have you been doing?" Leni asked, now staring at Lori.

Lori turned to see her sister giving her a substantial smile. Her eyes appeared intent on learning her answer. Come to think of it, Lori hadn't spoken to Leni all that much about her own social life. It wasn't like Leni asked before.

"Good. Me and the girls have been getting along really well," she said calmly. She then paused, "they all know about the club and some of them said they would be coming."

Lori allowed the sound to fall from her mouth. For the next few seconds, the two strolled along. The shaking and clashing of paper bags brushed against all of their ears.

"What about Emily?"

Lori's eyes widened. After all of this, her younger sister still remembered her best friend from first grade? And why now of all days? Was she one of the girls she talked to about the club? She took several hesitant breaths before proceeding.

"I see her in the halls from time to time," she replied, "she's been cool and all, but...well we just moved on from each other. I found other girls like Shelby and Monica while she got friends of her own," she then made sure this next part was made with direct eye contact, "We don't have anything bad against each other."

Leni, though, just kept looking forward.

"Okay," she replied. Personally, she wanted her sister to say a little more, but it wasn't like she was vague. Leni found it sad that two friends could just fizzle off like that. And in turn, it made her think of some of the other people that phased past her life. She wondered if she could ever get them back. Would she ever see Mrs. Egan again? Or Mrs. Boxer? Or those few kids that didn't go on to Royal Woods Junior High (whatever fancy school they were at now).

"What am I doing with myself? Never anything..."

Leni then thought more about the Fashion Club. Her mom had suggested the idea over the summer, as a way to 'be creative' and 'make new friends' (whatever creative meant). She recalled how on the first day of class, Mrs. Barnes (her English teacher) brought up how she does sewing as a hobby. Well, Leni saw that as a chance to be 'creative' and got to spend time during lunch talking to her about it. Mrs. Barnes went out of her way to get approval from the school. And Lori decided to help out.

"I don't get it. Why are they being so nice to me?"

The two arrived at the Junior High. Upon entering, they made their maneuver through the school's unusual halls. They even passed by the special corridor where Lori usually hangs out with her friends. Indeed they were already there chatting away. All of them proceeded to wave at the two sisters as they walked by, quickly noticing the presence of multiple plastic bags full of fabric and thread.

"Hi Lori," one of them said.

"Oh hi, Monica," the older Loud answered, giving a hasty smile.

"Hi," Leni said.

"Hi Leni," the girls replied.

"Lori bothered to mention me..."

The exchange ended like that and the two Louds continued on their way. The rest of the walk was pretty uneventful. Barely anyone was in the hallway, or at least anyone they knew. All either of them could do was keep their eyes forward. Eventually, they turned into a classroom towards the end of the hall.

The room looked a lot like Aunt Ruth's house. It was decorated with vases, photographs, rugs, and shelves that each appear to be at least fifty years old. Even the sewing machine that was stashed in the back didn't break from the look. All Lori could wonder was whether it was functional. Sure the objects were dusted and maintained on a regular basis, but the aesthetic was still homely. Lori didn't have Mrs. Barnes for English, but her friends did describe her as 'old-fashioned'.

"Good morning, Leni," a gentle voice said.

And right there at her desk was none other than Mrs. Barnes herself. While she wasn't elderly, her black hair was starting to turn gray, her cheeks were showing some wrinkles here and there, and her figure was starting to appear tiny and frail. Lori estimated she was about the same age as Aunt Ruth.

"Hi Mrs. Barnes!" Leni exclaimed, smiling. That beaming face then turned to the other girl, "This is my big sister Lori. She helped me carry in all this stuff!"

The kind lady grinned and got up to approach the older sister.

"Well it's nice to meet you, Lori," she said, gazing through her thin glasses with eyes of admiration. Even with the stale vibe of the decor, Lori could immediately tell this was a much softer soul than Aunt Ruth's rugged strength, "Do you plan on joining Leni's fashion club?"

Lori nodded as she processed the situation. She told herself she shouldn't be confused at this. She could imagine how Leni managed through her conversations without dropping her sister's name or involvement. But after a morning of some unusual behavior (or so she thought), a flicker of her did expect that maybe she would have surprised her once more. But perhaps Leni couldn't simply be described in an extrema; she was someone who's behavior, while somewhat predictable, still pulled numerous surprises.

"It'll be a treat to have you with us," Mrs. Barnes answered before gesturing to the area surrounding her sewing machine, "You can put those bags down over in the back."

The two made their way to the back. Leni was drawn to the sewing machine. That wasn't there the day before (Mrs. Barnes had agreed to bring her own in for the club). It was different from the one she had. This one didn't have an extension cord attached to the end of it. Instead, it had an manual pedal below it. The whole thing was so bulky that she marveled at how Mrs. Barnes even got it to the school.

"All that work. Just for...me," Leni thought to herself as she felt her smile threaten to dissolve. She continued to stare at it as Lori placed down her bags and moved back.

"Okay Leni, I'll see you after school," she said, not checking if she was paying attention, "Have a nice day."

Lori stood there for a moment, waiting for a response. She noticed how Leni was transfixed to the sewing machine.

"So Lori," she heard Mrs. Barnes say. Lori, though, kept her eyes on her sister, "the club is holding its first meeting right after school today in this room. Tell your friends all about it."

"Thank you," Lori replied, not looking away. With that she said, "Leni?"

That time, the younger sister jerked her head to her, her face completely blank.

"Okay," Lori said before waving, "I'm heading out. See you after school."

"Goodbye," Leni answered flatly, lifting a hand and holding it in midair as she saw Lori depart from the room.

Mrs. Barnes approached her student, whose attention turned back to the machine.

"I know it's a little different than what you're used to, but it works the same," she said, pointing to the machine's base, "all you have to do is push that pedal on the ground with you foot and it's pretty much the same. Do you like it?"

Silence.

"Yes. Thank you, Mrs. Barnes. It's lovely," she said simply. After several more seconds of observation, she turned to her teacher, "I'll see you in class."

"Well okay," Mrs. Barnes said tactfully, "I will see you then. I hope you have a nice morning."

With that, Leni departed as well without another word. All she wanted now was for that silly fuzziness to go away. To her, she didn't deserve that joy, those butterflies in her tummy.

Most of the morning went smoothly, even Mrs. Barnes class (although she was embarrassed when the teacher advertised the club in front of everyone). Those goofy feelings (thankfully) came in fleeting waves, allowing Leni to return to her normal stasis not long after disruption. She didn't recall talking to any of her classmates throughout the morning.

As class was dismissed for lunch, Leni lurched out and strolled down the hall by herself. A flood of seventh and eighth graders plowed in the other direction as they barged their way to their next class. The girl did everything she could to not bump into them, trying to walk alongside the wall. She observed the sea of students and at one point could have sworn she saw Lori there. She was in the middle of it all, chatting with some other girls around her age. Her eyes were glued on her older sister (who in many respects was her idol).

"Oof!"

Leni recoiled slightly, her vision temporarily being blurred and focused to the white floor. Eventually, she looked up and saw the person she bumped into. She was a girl that was slightly taller than her, adorned hair the same golden tint as Lori's. But what sparked her the most was the girl's clothing (a wool blue button-up shirt with white cuffs and collar, long skirt, and matching ankle socks).

"Sorry!" Leni exclaimed, her Ducky arms shooting up. Whatever calm remained in her body was grilled by the flames of humiliation. She scolded herself for not being more careful.

The girl, however, smiled.

"That's okay," she said professionally. Sure her shirt was a little wrinkled, but she refrained from touching it, a note that Leni fixated on. But before the Loud could contemplate further, the older girl continued, "You know, I've seen you around before. You're Lori's little sister, Leni, right?"

"Yes."

The girl then extended her hand. Leni stared at it, particularly how unified and firm it looked. And then, she moved one of her wobbly hands forward and touched it. It was the cleanest, softest Palm she ever felt. As this happened, she asked herself what she did to earn the privilege of having a girl like this associate herself with someone...like herself.

"I'm Carol. It's nice to meet you, Leni," she said cheerfully.

Suddenly, Lori's voice flooded her mind. Snide comments, frustrated tirades, bitter laments often alluded to that name. It all traced back to Carol, Carol, Carol. From all she had heard, Carol seemed like a meanie that only cared about herself.

"Lori said she doesn't like you," Leni said meekly, her face still flushed from the collision. She then lowered her arms and used one of her hands to rub them, "But, like, you seem pretty nice."

Carol, though, giggled.

"Well, I guess I can't win over everyone," she said, putting on a humble smile.

Now Leni was confused. Here was a girl that she had been told was mean and bad. But she was none of those things. What was this all about?

"So, like, the Fashion Club is having a meeting after school today. Do you want to come?" Leni asked, trying her best to save some of her confidence. Her posture was straight, although by now her arms were fidgeting. They had veered from the front to the back to the side and then back to the back. Her hands clenched each other together from that point.

"Sure," Carol responded, "I like clothes as much as any other girl."

"Okay. Well it was nice getting to meet you Carol."

Leni then paced forward, not giving Carol a chance to respond. She was filled with a mixture of emotions. Guilt, uncertainty, excitement, emptiness, fulfillment. She had suddenly cooked up a plan of sorts. If Carol really was all that nice, then perhaps Lori could see that and try to get along. Her mind was occupied by that one episode of Princess Pony where Rosy Cake used her mutual friendship with two grumpy ponies to like each other. Leni supposed she wanted to do that. Or something.

All that mattered now was lunch.

The final bell rang. Leni felt her heart raced as she slowly collected her things and placed them in her bag. She got up and made her silent journey through the corridor en route to Mrs. Barnes's room. Images of clothes and that episode of Princess Pony played in her head throughout the whole time. There was simply no space of concentration left for talking.

Upon stepping into the class, she saw Mrs. Barnes and Lori already there. Leni took her seat next to her older sister in silence. She twidled her thumbs while her hands were on the desk. Lori decided to start a conversation with the teacher, but she wasn't paying attention. She was simply too excited for what was to come. She kept her eyes on the open door, seeing who would show up.

Over the next few minutes, several girls filed into the seats. Leni smiled as she saw students that were actually interested in fashion. Most of them only had facial recognition, but she was still excited with the prospect of friendship.

"That'll make them proud. That'll make them happy."

She did know the name of one of the girls that entered. It was her, Carol. Even after she bumped into her. Leni felt gratitude and shame at the same time, culminating in a blank expression. She turned to Lori, whose face had some tense pockets along her forehead and lip corners. Leni instinctively leaned in towards her big sister.

"She's nice. Like, give her a chance," she whispered.

Lori jerked herself back, her mouth agape.

"No," Lori pouted softly, "she's always been so selfish and mean. I don't get why she's here! And. Ugh!"

Leni was confused again. She didn't understand what Lori was talking about. To verify, she turned to view Carol. She was sitting with a few of the other girls. She was smiling and politely chatting. That gentleness she was greeted with in her encounter was unchanged for the others. And Carol didn't appear bothered by Lori. With that, she leaned back into Lori, keeping her eyes on the girl in question.

"But she was so nice to me," Leni whispered.

With that sight, she heard Lori scoff.

"Don't let that fool you! She's bad news, you hear."

Several more minutes passed and a few more students entered. Leni switched her focus between Carol and Lori. The latter tried to avert her eyes from the former. All Leni could think about was Rosy Cake. Even Rosy had a hard time during the episode. She went through a lot of yelling and some tears in order to get to that happy ending. She wished she could tell Lori about this tale, but the older sister had already expressed disdain for Princess Pony. Leni sighed from this fact.

"Good afternoon everyone," Mrs. Barnes announced, causing the room to fall to silence, "Welcome to the very first meeting of the Royal Woods Junior High Fashion Club," she then turned her focus to one particular student, "Leni, would you like to come up here to say a few words?"

Leni was quiet. Her chest twisted within itself and her throat was clamped from nerves. She had to turn to Lori for advice who gave her a nod of approval. Thankfully, she had learned by now what that gesture had meant. She then turned to Mes. Barnes and stared at her reassuring eyes and tranquil smile. Leni took several deep breaths before lunging from her seat to approach the front of the room.

"Everyone," Mrs. Barnes said, "this is Leni Loud, the founder of the Club!"

Each of the students clapped courteously as Leni slowed herself to a stop in the front's center. Her heart pounded. She briefly darted her eyes at both Lori and Carol (who were each staring at her) before exhaling.

"Um...h-hi everyone," she stuttered, her face lacking any emotion, "I-I'm happy that there are people in the school that like clothes. Mrs. Barnes, like, told me about how she like clothes and...like, she gave me, like, the idea to make s Fashion Club," she then paused to think, "Oh, well it was also, like, my Mom and Dad and, like, Lori that helped me get the Club, like, started."

Leni stood there, unsure of what to say next. She turned back to see Mrs. Barnes, who was eagerly watching.

"Tell them about the fundraiser," the teacher whispered.

And then those plans struck her mind like a laser beam.

"Oh!" she exclaimed suddenly, "So, like, this fall we have a special project that'll be, like, totes fun. You see, there's this special school over in Sterling Hill called...um..."

"Batholomew's Helpers," Mrs. Barnes said gently.

"Yes, thank you Mrs. Barnes," Leni said, smiling. She then continued, "So, like, it's a special school where kids like us go when they have a really hard time learning or talking or stuff. And when I was told about it, like, I thought that a lot of those kids were like me, only they don't have what they need to, like, grow and de-devlope. So, I was hoping that, like, we could all make clothes and then, like, sell them to make money. And then we could, like, send the money to the school so that the kids can learn and, like, be happy."

With that, Leni locked her hands at her stomach. She gazed around the room, only to be met with more stares.

"Um...I'm done speaking," she said before walking back to her seat. The people in the crowd clapped once more, though Leni noticed her sister glaring toward the opposite side of the room.

"Very good, Leni," Mrs. Barnes said, standing up, "Now does anyone have any questions or concerns?"

The club founder gazed around the room and noticed one shy hand ascend.

"So did you want us to make the clothes or could we just buy them?" the girl asked.

Leni then stared at Mrs. Barnes. The girl nodded at her teacher, giving her permission to answer.

"Either or will do. If you want to make clothes, then I could teach you how to use the sewing machine in the back," she said, using her aging hand to point to the relic. She then directed that same hand at the founder, "you could also ask Leni to teach you. She's a real talent at it!"

The girl kept her hand up.

"What about old clothes that we don't use anymore?"

Mrs. Barnes nodded.

"Feel free to send them in. The more clothes we have to sell, the better," she said with a smile, "and any clothes we don't sell will get send to Goodwill."

"Okay," the girl said before lowering her hand.

"Any other questions?" Mrs. Barnes asked.

And just like that another hand shot up. Lori immediately groaned.

"Hi," Carol said, "So if we already have our own sewing machine, could we start working on clothes from our own house?"

"Yes!"

Everyone jerked their heads to Lori, who had a nasty snarl on her face.

"The answer is yes," Lori said, barely able to seal her contempt.

Leni turned to Carol whose eyes were wide in shock. Her entire physique was frazzled by the outburst. The underlying shame emerged.

"Any other questions?"

Silence. Leni didn't expect there to be many, and especially not on the first day. Still, it was slightly disheartening for the entire atmosphere to sour like that.

"Thank you all for coming. We'll meet again around this time next week."

Leni shot from her seat and raced to Carol.

"I'm sorry I brought you here," Leni said sadly, her eyes with a clear conviction, a duty to right this wrong, "I didn't know that Lori was gonna be that mad at you..."

Carol, though, was gentle and placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Don't be mad at yourself," Carol said softly, "I want Lori to be able to accept me too, but she may not be ready y-"

"Let's go."

Lori grabbed Leni's hand and yanked, dragging her along. Leni struggled to get her footing right and nearly tripped at several points along the hall. All she could feel was confusion and offense. Eventually, the two slowed to a stop.

Leni could hear Lori's breathing even from behind. She wanted to help her big sister, but she didn't even know what the fuss was about. Carol seemed like a nice person. She liked her. Leni slapped herself for not knowing enough to act. So, she simply wrapped her free arm around Lori's neck.

"It's okay, Lori," she said softly, "let's just go home."

Even with the eventual happy conclusion, Rosy herself couldn't resolve that issue in a day, nor any other conflict she dealt with. In that moment, Leni imagined herself as that bubbly pink pony. Sure she didn't smile or laugh as much as her, but she understood it was her turn to play that role. She would figure this all out. She would make Lori and Carol friends.

Somehow.

But for now, the two of them needed time to contemplate. The walk home was quieter than usual.

Chapter 23: Feeling Sorry

"I...I've always been scared," Rosy Cake said through tense cries. Even her bouncy curly mane was downtrodden. She had her hooves wrapped around a purple pony.

"Of what?" the purple pony asked, clearly worried for her friend.

"Of losing you guys...I'm scared you'll start thinking me to be a silly pony that always throws dumb parties! Don't you get annoyed Twily?"

Twily gasped.

"Rosy, you know I would never stop being your friend" she said, tightening her hug. Her purple eyes widened as she continued speaking, "You make us happy. You always know just what to do whenever we're sad or need some cheering up."

Leni was grateful that her parents finally got her a smartphone for her birthday. It made it easier to watch latest episodes of Princess Pony without drawing attention to herself (not that she had before). And with a set of white headphones on, she could easily drown out the crazy noise that interfered with her precious cartoon.

And what a week to be tuned in.

Just then, Lori entered the room and plopped herself on her bed with her phone. Leni felt her heart jump a little, but was relieved when her sister didn't say anything. Ever since she got her phone, Lori had been glued it; the thing practically became attached to her body. But unlike Leni, the older Loud used it for texting and talking.

But Leni didn't pay too much heed to that. There were more pressing issues going on in Equestria.

Her favorite character Rosy Cake had been reduced to tears when confronted by one of her five best friends. Now, she was revealing new parts of her personality that were previously hidden. Leni was quite shocked to learn this information. To think that this whole time that Rosy Cake, even with the conflicts she went through, was a bouncy a free spirit. Strangely enough, these revelations also gave her a sense of familiarity. The more she internalized them, the more comfortable she got.

"I don't get why a lot of people don't like this show. I think it's great."

"You don't really mean that, do you?" Rosy Cake asked, sniffling.

"I mean it from the bottom of my heart," Twily said, smiling. She then used one of her hooves to rub her friend's back, "You're the sweetest pony I've ever met. It's because of you that I've started opening up and making friends. Whenever I or anyone else see you bouncing down the street, none of us can't help but smile," she then pulled herself back and helped Rosy wipe some tears off her cheeks.

"I wake up and see the sun," Twily softly sang.

"It makes me smile and cheer.

I jump out of bed and I'm

Gonna make you smile from ear to ear."

Rosy Cake chuckled with her hoarse throat. To think that earlier that same season, she sang that exact song. Granted it was loud and boisterous, but it was just as heartwarming when it was gentle and soft.

"There's the Rosy Cake I know," Twily said, smiling. Rosy Cake then tackled her friend, wrapping her in a deep embrace. Although tears streamed down her face, even Leni could tell by her giant grin that they were out of joy.

"Ugh, you literally have to get Carol to quit," Lori suddenly exclaimed. The outburst surpassed Leni's headphones, prompting her to hit pause. She was thankful that the episode had aired last night, which gave her that very luxury. Leni yanked the buds out of her ears and faced an irritated Lori.

"I still don't get why you think Carol is, like, a big meanie," Leni said, placing her phone down on the bed, "She's nice."

Lori, though, shook her head.

"No she isn't," Lori proclaimed, "I've known her since kindergarten and every time she was around, she would always have these stupid expensive clothes to show off. She's been nothing but rude, snobby," her head then lowered as her eyes caught afire, "and so full of herself! She was the first girl in my grade to catch all the latest stuff. First to have a purse, first to get a cell phone, first to wear lipstick!"

"You," Leni said, though her lips quickly became loose, "have all those things, like, too."

Lori facepalmed.

"I don't think you get it," she answered, sighing, "when she got those things, everyone thought it was so cool. She waved all that stuff around and that made everyone want to get it. It became a mad dash and any girl that didn't catch on were left to fend for themselves," Lori then gazed down at her own phone with its blue cover. The older Loud exhaled once more as she thought about her own circumstances, her phone, her purse that she often kept stashed under her bed, her elaborate makeup.

"She wasn't like that when I, like, talked to her," Leni said, her eyes wide and innocent.

"Of course she wouldn't," Lori scoffed.

Leni saw her sister thumbing through her phone, as if to text one of her friends. Was that all? What was she getting at by doing this? It couldn't have been so.

"Why would she do that?" Leni asked, trying to make her voice sound naive. She watched as Lori looked up from her plastic device.

"Isn't it obvious? No one ever acts mean to you, Leni," Lori said.

Normally, Leni would have just left it at that. After all, it would have been pretty assuring to know that she was safe from insults and assaults of any sort. And with the baggage she believed she had, that should have been reassuring. So why wasn't it? Could it be that nothing in this world could have been free of danger? She was coaxed to press on.

"Why would she do that?" Leni asked her sister, who appeared to be examining her reaction. Leni didn't feel like she had made her thought process apparent. But then again, the world could be a lot smarter than her, no matter how advanced she became.

"Because she knows about you. She may be nasty to everyone else, but even she knows that it's not cool to pick on kids like you. It doesn't surprise me that she would be 'nice' to you," Lori then propped up her hands to emphasize the air quotes. Leni could detect the knife piercing the air. She couldn't tell if her sister getting mad at her or Carol.

"What are you talking about?" Leni asked, getting concerned, "why would she only be nice to me?"

Lori, though, rolled her eyes.

"Do I have to spell it out?" she shot back, clearly annoyed. Leni started to feel bad for bothering her big sister. She didn't bother saying anything. It wasn't as if she had any ideas anyhow.

The older Loud merely sighed.

"She feels sorry for you," she explained as she got up and stood and began walking around the room, flourishing her hands as she spoke, "In her mind, she sees you as slow, friendless, someone that has nothing going for them and stuck at the bottom. So she acts all nice to you because she has nothing to gain from knocking you down."

Leni sat there and tried to absorb those words. This idea. The possibility of a person deceiving her and others in such a mocking way. On one hand it seemed preposterous, impossible for such an underhanded motion and feeling to transpire (or at least to her specifically). But, in an uncomfortable fashion, it struck a tense and coherent chord. Her mind produced that same sensation of realization than when she figured out which puzzle piece goes in a certain spot. But was Carol really like that? Did she and her sister even know the same person?

"Do you feel sorry for me, Lori?" she asked, her eyes widening even further. Immediately, Lori jerked her head at her little sister.

"Of course not," she replied sharply, "I know you way better than she ever will. You're my sister and nothing is ever gonna change that."

The second Loid briefly darted her eyes at her phone, where Princess Pony was still paused. Lori didn't need to know everything after all. Before her sister could get suspicious, though, she looked back at Lori, whose expression had softened. Leni's mind was about as far from equilibrium as it could be, but she had no interest of pressing further.

"I guess that's a good enough answer."

"Okay," Leni answered, her face blank, "thanks, Lori."

"Sure," Lori said before sitting back down on her bed. In that moment, Leni didn't mind the company, even with all the questions she hoped to ask. She figured a lot of them would just have to wait for another day.

She picked up her phone and continued watching the episode. She witnessed as Rosy Cake and Twily continued hugging and chuckling in each other's company. The camera panned out and faded to one last shot. She witnessed Rosy standing alone outside her house carrying a yellow balloon. Her bright blue eyes gazed at the latex surface and she exhaled. And then, her hoof loosened and allow it to sail off into the sky. The pony smiled and looked up at the sunny sky, witnessing the balloon take its own special course. And it was at that shot where it dimmed to black and the episode ended.

She didn't head out right away. She knew that she had to wait for just the right moment where she could slip undetected from Lori.

She had nothing against her big sister. She wasn't mad or annoyed that she couldn't see the same things she could. And it's not like Leni didn't trust her. Lori had always seemed to be her mentor, her voice of reason, her motivator. If anything, she was wrong for having this inkling of doubt, the need to cook up a talk with her mother. Why couldn't she just sit down and forget about it like she always had.

The nursery was a safe bet for where Rita would be. Sure little Lisa would be there too, but Leni figured she was just a baby so she wouldn't be listening. As for her other little sisters, they were probably downstairs hanging out with the others. It was the perfect time to have a nice private chat.

Leni made her way down the hall past the stair and opened the next door on the right. Sure enough, Rita and Lisa were the only ones in the room. But what she was thrown off by was the mess in the room. No, the room wasn't littered by broken toys or dirty diapers. Leni noticed that the carpet was instead littered by books. Just by a glance, none of them were familiar to her. She didn't see anything by Dr. Seuss or Shel Silverstein. Instead there were hard cover volumes that looked more like her textbooks than anything else. They were all scattered across the floor, some of them still open to some page in the middle.

"Hi sweetie," she heard her mother say. Rita was lying on the ground propped against a wall. Next to her was Lisa sitting upright, her little baby hands gripping one of the tomes and her head buried in its dense pages. While the baby was unfazed, the mother quickly noticed Leni's eyes moving about the room, "Sorry about the mess, it's been a long day."

The girl, though, continued to walk up to her mother and little sister. Even with them on the ground, Leni decided to stand.

"That's okay. Uh, I, like, have a question."

"What is it, honey?" Rita asked, smiling.

Here she was. She made it this far and the conditions were right. Before she advanced, all Leni could think about were those days she now spent with Mrs. Lane. She knew that she was by no means a malicious teacher; she had done nothing to provoke this sensation. That was largely brought on by her own silly thoughts. But now it was there and she might as well go forward.

"Do you feel sorry for me?" Leni asked. It then hit her to tack on a simple definition for clarification, "Do you, like, see me as slow, friendless, someone that, like, has nothing going for me? And, like, are you, like, only nice to you because you have nothing to gain from knocking me down."

Leni cringed as she finished that last part. No wonder she had to ask. She couldn't even come up with her own words to describe her feelings. What ever made her think she could make some conclusion like this on her own?

Meanwhile, she watched as her mother's eyes tinged and smile evaporated in a flash.

"So much for being the nice one."

"Absolutely not. You are everything but those things," Rita said adamantly, "You're brilliant, you're kind, and you can do anything you put your mind to," the mother then examined her second daughter's face for any outstanding features. Thankfully there were no tears, no sad frowns, no pain in her eyes. She hoped they weren't hiding something, "Whatever made you think that?"

What was she supposed to say? Had she known she would be faced with such a question, she would have never bothered. She now regretted even coming into the room. Now, what? Tell her the truth?

"Have Lori get in trouble and mad at me. Make Mrs. Lane look bad when she has been nothing but good to me and the others! What have I done?"

Her only response was a shrug. Her default.

"Is someone at school picking on you?" Rita asked, concerned. But now, Leni felt herself sinking in a nasty pit. Just moments ago, her mom was at peace enjoying her baby sister's company. Now, she had singehandedly rocked that boat, ruining her mother's whole day in one swoop. And all to satisfy her dumb curiosity. What kind of daughter was she, she wondered.

"Um, no," Leni replied, trying her best to not make her mother even more worried, "I was just wondering."

Rita exhaled, trying to relieve herself of the troubling thoughts plaguing her. The last thing she ever wanted was for one of her children to be too afraid to open up to anyone when they were in distress.

"Okay," she said before taking another breath, "I'm sorry, it's just that I care about you so much. All I want is for you and your siblings to be safe and happy."

Leni merely stood there, wishing she could disappear. As her mother spoke, she tried focusing on something else. She tried staring at her baby sister Lisa as she flipped another page in that massive book. Leni marveled at how her sister had barely moved or made a sound during her interruption.

"So," Rita said. Her voice was calmer, but even Leni could detect a hint of nerves in it. She regretted hearing that sad effort to be cheerful, all for her sake, "how did the meeting go? Were there a lot of kids there?"

"Yes," Leni answered, nodding her head.

"Are you making friends?"

Now she really regretted getting herself into this trap. And with that came a price to pay. She nodded once more.

"I'll try working at it some more."

"Great," Rita said, throwing up a smile. At this point, it looked to be genuine again, but Leni was still uneasy. How could she be sure anymore?

"So, like, how has Lisa been?" Leni asked flatly.

"Wonderful," her mother said, gazing at her youngest daughter. She then reached a hand out to her, "Lisa," she chirped in her baby voice, "say 'hi' to Leni!"

Lisa and the book were like a united statue. It was as if she didn't hear a single word of the entire conversation she was near. Rita, though, curled her lips anyway and tried cooing the baby to look up from that monumental volume. Nothing worked.

"It must be a pretty fun read," Rita said. Her head then leaned forward to glance at the cover, where the title was printed in small gilded letters, "Applications of Einstein's Theory of Relativity. I would love to hear you talk about it with me and your big sister Leni," she added, using her hand to point to her second daughter. But for the most part, it was like talking to the wall the baby was leaning against.

Before another word could be uttered, Leni walked out. She stood like a pencil as she paced her way back to her room and sat on her bed. She stared at the wall closet to it, the one where she once drew pictures of her designs. Sure some of them still lingered in the attic, but their absence was uncomfortably noticeable. Leni couldn't bear to look at that blank plaster for another second. She forced herself up and went to her sewing machine.

"Time to get to work."

Grabbing several pieces of fabric and scissors, Leni started cutting up clean pieces to be used. She neatly organized them on one side of the desk. She refilled the machine with a fresh bobbin of turquoise string and threaded the needle properly. And with that, she started running.

Leni found herself sitting next to the same five girls at lunch that Friday. Each of the five had green and purple salads that they occasionally took a bite out of. Leni, meanwhile, had already devoured her fruit bowl (which consisted of apple, watermelon, and grapes).

Even though she often found it hard to follow the conversation's flow, she had slowly been learning the names. She had already known Cassidy and Tara, but now she also knew one of them was named Whitney. And the others, well, they would come with time.

Suddenly, their chatter died and they leaned into each other. Leni looked up and saw a familiar girl pass by whose face appeared distant. The girl leaned away from the pack, her eyes avoidant. But once at the end of the line, her expression noticeably lightened. She even smiled a little as she waved directly at Leni. Leni silently waved back and stared at the girl as she continued past her. Eventually, she settled down at a different table with her own set of girls. Even Leni knew it was Carol.

"Can you believe her!"

"OMG! She is literally the worst!"

"Did you see how she literally gave us the cold shoulder?"

Only Leni could keep her eyes on Carol. She watched as the girl interacted with her friends. From what she could make out, nothing appeared malicious. She was smiling, talking, even chuckling at whatever her friend just told her.

Curious to learn more, she got up and made the walk over to that part of the cafeteria. The room was crowded and raucous, but Carol had a distinctive face that was impossible to miss. As Leni got closer to her, Carol's head perked up and turned to her. Leni could have sworn sher saw a smile pop on the older girl.

"Hi Leni. Do you wanna sit with us?" Carol asked. Leni figured that her voice sounded friendly and sincere. Carol's smile was noticeable and didn't seem forced. And all of her friends were focused on her; their mouths and eyes didn't look to radiate any form of contempt or pity. Those were good signs.

Leni moved forward and one of the girls nudged over, giving her room to sit down. She immediately accepted.

"So, Leni, how have you been?" Carol asked kindly.

She nodded, hoping that would spice up her response.

"Good," Leni answered, trying her best to make her voice sound chipper. It was moments like these that she found that it required a lot of effort. She wondered how other kids could talk with such vigor consistently all the time, "What about you?"

"Very good, thanks for asking," she said, sounding delighted. She then raised an arm and maneuvered it flawlessly across the group, capturing her friends' attention, "everyone, this is Leni and she runs the new Fashion Club."

"That's so cool! I wanna join," one of the friends exclaimed.

"Carol literally told me all about it this morning! That's fantastic!"

"Totes! That's the one thing this dump was missing!"

All of them were grinning. Sure, Leni found her own lips rushing upward, but she was quickly drawn to the others. Those big, white, flawless teeth directed at her. Leni assumed she could never size up to such perfection, so what did she ever do to deserve any of them?

"Hi Carol," Leni said gently, lifting her hand once more. Maybe that would ease ther tension, she figured. Maybe that would convince them all that she was cozy, "So, like, I was wondering if I could learn more about you. I don't know you very well."

Carol grinned.

"That's okay," she said. Leni could have sworn that Carol's eyes sparkled in that instant, "I'm in eighth grade, just like Lori. And these are my friends," she said as she pointed to each of them, who in turn waved back to Leni and gave those magazine-quality smiles, "Paula, Jessie, Sandra, and Danielle."

"Um...hi," was all Leni could say.

"Just like you, we all love fashion. The five of us are at the mall every weekend and it's literally the best. When I heard there was a fashion club, I flipped out and I knew I had to go to the first meeting. What you are doing is simply fabulous!" Carol said, her smile persisting the whole time. Leni kept her eyes squarely on her, fixated on any defects from her expression. Was Lori telling the truth about her?

"But literally, Carol is also Mother Theresa," Sandra said. Leni broke from Carol to focus on the new center of attention, "She's in the Honor Society and does so much community service!"

"Every Tuesday after school, she goes to this little girl's house and hangs out. She helps her with her homework, plays dolls with her, and is literally a big sister to her," Danielle interjected, finishing with a hand flick.

"Girls," Carol said, chuckling a little, "you know I don't like honking my own horn," she then turned directly to Leni, "I don't like to talk about that type of stuff," and just like that, she directed her gaze to the entire group, "So I guess that's all there is to me. I'm just your normal girl going to Royal Woods Junior High," she then turned back to Leni, "anything else you wanna know?"

It was as if she were reading her thoughts (however that was possible). While the recent experience with her mom gave her some warning of the scalding heat she awaited, Leni's curiosity would not relent. As she prepared to speak, her mind asked her why she couldn't just sit there like a dumb animal that doesn't question or think about anything.

"Um...do you like my big sister Lori?" Leni asked carefully.

Carol and the other girls nodded.

"She's a pretty good person that takes care of her family," she said, although her eyes wavered slightly, "I think it would be great if we could be friends someday."

"Why does Lori not like you?" Leni spat out. Internally, she slapped herself. After seeing a dubious eye slight like that, she just carelessly dropped that question. What was happening? She wondered why she was turning into an inexplicable monster.

Carol sighed.

"I haven't been able to talk to her very much, but I think it's because of my attitude," Carol said solemnly. She placed both her hands on the table and clamped them together, "I used to be a jerk and I left a lot of lame insults and...hurt feelings. I thought it would be so cool to show off all my stuff and be mean to those that didn't have those things. You could say I was like one of those spoiled brats in those high school movies."

As the older girl spoke, all Leni could do was feel bad for forcing this upon her gracious hostess. All so she could learn private information for what? At the moment, the end was nowhere in sight, making the means uncalled for. No wonder she couldn't make any friends, she figured.

"Sure I eventually got my act together, but that was only last year," she continued, "I guess there are some people that think I'm still a jerk. I wouldn't blame them. Change doesn't happen overnight, you know."

Carol still had her hands on the table, her eyes were largely downcast. Her other friends started giving her consolations and reassurances. The chorus of sweet voices and her guilt built up an energy in her arms and throat. Eventually, Leni thrust both her hands on top of Carol's.

"I'm your friend. I'm sorry I made you sad," Leni said rapidly. No 'likes', no hesitations, no stumbles.

Just like magic, her voice was the cue for Carol to speak up and separate her own hands, holding her open palms in the air. Sure enough, all the voices died down.

"Thanks girls, that all means a lot to me," she said warmly, accompanied by a smile and bright eyes. She then leaned in towards Leni, allowing the younger girl to absorb all those lovely and encouraging features, "It's okay, you didn't make me sad at all. And besides, you asked a question. You don't need to worry about a thing."

And then the bell rang. Leni jumped from her seat.

"Leni, wait!"

The Loud froze in place and turned frightfully towards the older girl.

"Don't you want to walk with us to class?" Carol asked. Accompanied were the high-pitched cheers and nods by her friends, "we would love for you to join us."

"No thanks. I have...class," Leni said, hoping that none of them would ask further. Thankfully, no such effort manifested.

"Well okay," Carol replied with a smile, "Well we would love to hang out with you again some time."

"Thanks."

Leni bolted off. The last thing she wanted at a time like this was for someone like Carol to see where she was heading. She was grateful she didn't have any food to toss in the garbage. She kept on walking, finding gaps between blocs of people to squeeze past.

What she felt was a wave of guilt, embarrassment, and anger. Why did she have to be so rude? Why did she have to be such a burden? To her, Carol was the greatest person on the planet. She didn't even consider the wrongness of Lori not liking her. All that mattered was how wrong she herself was for making Carol sad. The roller coaster she experienced in the last day felt more like a lifetime.

"Where am I going to?" was what she asked herself as she saw Mrs. Lane's door. Another session awaited her, which (she felt) was rightfully deserved.

Chapter 24: Lori's Authority

The machine mowed along in its steady rhythm. The vibrant orange fabric smoothly sailed across the needle plate, pampered by the presser foot's clean pumps. Leni's fingers carefully maneuvered the fabric, insuring that the seams are clean and straight. Whenever she reached a corner, she successfully turned it and continued on her way. This process, interspersed with her Princess Pony mind movie and a pinch of privacy produced bliss.

One of the episodes from a few weeks ago had a new song. Leni wasn't the fastest at learning lyrics, but the tune was so cheerful that she couldn't help but hum it to herself behind a noticeable smile.

"This is gonna make someone happy!"

She then heard the door knock. Her ear buzzed as she took her foot off the pedal. She twisted around her chair and saw two familiar boys, Lincoln and his friend Clyde. Seeing him made her lips stretch even further.

"Hi Linky!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hand to wave it. Her little brother's face flustered a little upon hearing that nickname. Clyde, meanwhile, chuckled at his friend's blushing cheeks. As she continued waving it, she remembered another phrase, "How are you?"

"Great," Lincoln replied, trying to compose himself. His voice carried some of the excitement Leni displayed.

"Hi Leni," Clyde said, grinning.

The two of them stood in the doorway as they tried to remember why they were there. Thankfully for them, Leni patiently sat there, happy as ever.

"So can you make me and Clyde costumes for Halloween?" Lincoln asked. He then reached for his pocket and pulled out a white wad and unfolded it.

"Sure! Where's the design?"

Lincoln handed it over to her. On it was two simple drawings. One of them was a red T-shirt with a black logo, something that looked like underwear, and a blue cape. The other was a shirt with blue around the edges, a swirl of white in the middle, and red dots. On the bottom was a series of numbers and labels.

"Can you get it for us by Halloween? It would mean a lot to us."

"Halloween's about four weeks away, so that should give you plenty of time," Clyde added.

Leni's smile slipped a little, but she caught it before it could mutate into something concerning. She then quickly nodded.

"I know, silly. I can get this done before that, even," Leni said.

"Thanks. You're the best, Leni," Lincoln said. He then led Clyde out into the hall. After several seconds of staring in the open space before slowly inching back to her machine.

She stared at the unfinished product before her. She thought about that thing Lincoln's friend said. Did he think she didn't know when Halloween was? She knew she didn't put on an air of intelligence, but she wasn't stupid. Right?

Resuming her sewing, Leni did whatever she could to get back to that special zone. She started humming that same song again. Maybe she should have learned the lyrics after all.

"Leni. Have you seen my babysitter uniform?"

Once again, the process halted. She turned to see Lori scrambling around their room, chucking shoes from under her bed and then shirts from the closet. Leni silently observed the panicked whirlwind, all the while thinking of the tyranny that would await her and her little siblings that evening.

"Leni! Answer me now!" Lori snapped, encroaching her. Her terrified eyes did their best to form a menacing glare. It worked. Leni felt her spine gripped by fear.

"You don't, like, need that thing," Leni said, stuttering.

"Yes I do!

And just like that, she felt herself being pulled into her place. But it seemed like she didn't know where that place quite was. Besides, it disturbed her seeing her big sister so distressed.

"I think you, like, look great just the way you are," she said, nervously putting on a smile. She hoped that Lori could understand that she really meant it. She adored her big sister's appearance and she wanted her to know that she didn't need all that makeup or fancy stuff. Lori seemed like more than a human, better than she herself could ever achieve.

"I need it! Now tell me where it is!"

And now that place was found. Leni lamented the fact that her sister kept looking at her like that. Lori's frown was nasty and her forehead practically had a single eyebrow.

"Like, I dunno," Leni answered softly.

Lori, though, was unfazed.

"Well someone literally stole it!" Lori said angrily. Suddenly, her eyes widened and she pointed at the sewing machine, "You didn't use it to make your dumb clothes, did you?!"

Leni felt her chest twist. Her sister leaned in to her, making her regret even opening her mouth. She shook her head.

"You better not touch it! Do you understand?!" Lori sneered, her eyes narrowing even further. The fear Leni could see within them was more apparent than ever. Even though she herself was scared, something told her that Lori was even more so.

"I do," Leni answered, trying to calm down.

After a few more seconds of leering, Lori leaned back, still carrying a firm lip. Leni took several deep breaths.

"Fine," was all Lori said.

Leni glanced past her and saw Lynn rush across the hallway docked in black boots, army green jacket, general's hat, and black sunglasses. Once out of sight, a shrill whistle rang out.

"Alright Lucy! Drop an' give me twenty!" Lynn's rash voice shouted.

"Hey!" Lori yelled back, sprinting out of the room, "I'm gonna rip your head off!"

Leni was distracted by the argument (mixed with shouting, mocking, and whistle blowing). She knew that Lori's threats couldn't hurt Lynn, but she was still disturbed by them. Not even the joy she got from sewing could mute or alleviate the unease she got from her siblings fighting. It was a shame she herself wasn't entirely above it.

"One hour of solitary confinement tonight!" Lori rashly proclaimed. Leni watched as her sister marched into the doorway and stood straight as a pencil. She was fully dressed in the Halloween costume, complete with the cheap sunglasses to hide her eyes. Her lip was simply a smirk (one of the corners was tightly twisted inward).

"Let that serve as an example," Lori boasted, throwing in a grin to boot. Leni merely absorbed it, afraid of retribution. She slowly started turning back to her sewing machine, hoping the awkwardness would magically fizzle away.

"Eh-hem," Lori huffed out, forcing Leni to face her once more towards her desperate sister, "No one messes with me!" she said, only followed by silence, "I am the one in charge around here!" once again, nothing. Lori's face became noticeably tinged, worrying Leni. What did she want? Her big sister looked so vulnerable, "No one else can bring me down!"

The older sister even stomped her foot to boot. Leni saw that as her cue. She jumped from her seat and nearly tackled Lori with a hug. She couldn't bear to see her sister like that anymore. Did she have a bad day? Did some big meanie hurt her feelings? Lori had looked so frazzled in her search for her costume. Hopefully a little reminder could calm her down.

"Get off me this instant!"

The girl instinctively peeled herself away. Rather than anger, Lori's face merely displayed that leftover buzz. The two locked eyes in the midst of the thick air. Leni saw her sister's lips hang open, exposing her braces. She wondered if Lori wanted to tell her something, something important. But Lori's lips suddenly puckered as her hands fiddled with the whistle. She clumsily brought the instrument up and blew it, allowing its screech to ring into both of their ears.

"T-That will put you on warning," she uttered out. Lori then thought it would be a great idea to point, and so she did just that, "You are, are on warning. One more quick move like that," she then paused briefly. Her mouth temporarily showed her braces again, "and you," she said, poking her finger through the air, "will be in big trouble tonight."

Leni nodded.

"Now say 'yes m'am!" Lori barked.

"Yes m'am," Leni answered simply. Maybe that compliance would ease her sister's conspicuous tension. It did (a little) as Lori stepped back and her face slightly relaxed.

"Remember," she made out as she stood in the doorway, "I'm in charge tonight," and after a delayed point at her chest, she stuttered out.

Leni turned back to resume her work. Now, all she could think about was the challenge before her at school. Lori showed little interest in talking about Carol. After seeing her snap like that, Leni didn't dare consider bringing it up. The last thing she wanted was the knowledge that she had contributed to her sister's stress. And she hoped that tonight would be met with little conflict by anyone.

And then there was Carol. In her eyes, Carol was nice and outgoing. And she seemed like she was sorry for the way she treated Lori before. Leni had imagined her plan to be to ask her big sister to be more open-minded and willing to forgive. She herself had already forgiven Carol for those grievances she never saw.

"I'm sure that's what Rosy Cake would do."

As she eased herself back into a rhythm, she slowly started humming again. That song sure was catchy and it did sorta lighten her spirits. As it went on, she marveled at the progress she was able to make. One seam after another came together, forming a clean cohesive unit. Eventually, she finished the dress. She pulled it from the machine and held it up.

It was a bright orange dress with red highlights spread out in different corners. Given the neck and sleeve sizes, she figured it could be worn by a kid around Lincoln's age, even if the dress itself was a little long. She hoped that there was a girl like that in town willing to wear something like this. After several seconds of examining her work, she smiled, hopeful that it will be sold. She gleefully folded it and placed it in a paper bag she kept on the floor beside the desk. Inside that bag were about four other articles of clothing.

Another knock on the door. Leni swung in her chair to see that the door was still open from earlier. Her mother stood there gripping a black garbage bag.

"Hi Leni. I brought down some old clothes from the attic that you could use in your fundraiser," Rita said as she propped it up against one of the walls. The woman figured that even with the abundance of small children in the House, they didn't need that many hand-me-downs, especially not Lincoln's baby clothes.

Leni grinned.

"Thanks Mom!"

Rita smiled and went on her way. This time, Leni rose and approached the garbage bag. She grabbed it and rested it on her bed, puffing dust and wood particles onto the sheets. Undoing the knot, Leni poked her head in the arid space to see the crumpled shirts, socks, and pants. She knew that none of the clothes were her's nor were they ones that she had ever searched through. Still, she smiled at the prospect of a lucky little boy wearing them.

"They'll ask all about my special little Linky!"

The sun waned down as Leni finished up a purple shirt for herself. Sure her mother was willing to help with the hand-me-downs, but she also loved the idea of new homemade clothes. It was good practice and besides, she figured it would make her at least a little useful.

"Please Luan, not right now," she heard Luna say from the other side of the wall.

"Come on," Luan shot back, her voice mixed in with uncontrollable giggles, "Why don't they play poker in the jungle?"

A comedically-timed pause ensued. Leni made sure to keep still and quiet, lest she missed this funny moment.

"There's too many cheetahs!"

While Luna sighed, Leni felt the need to hack out some laughter. After all, Luan said something funny and when something is funny, you're supposed to laugh. All she had to do was keep at it long enough for her to know for sure that Luan could hear her. She wasn't gonna make the same mistake she made the first time she heard her little sister Luan crack a joke. Thankfully, Luan did stroll by the open door and grinned at her.

"That is funny," Leni said in between chuckles.

Luan replied with her signature laughter. The older Loud was relieved that her sister was in a good mood. Happy even.

Having finished a satisfactory amount of work for one day, Leni turned off the sewing machine and headed into the narrow hallway. It was only once she was out there that realized she had no idea why she walked out. She didn't have much of an idea of where to go or what to do next. Leni awkwardly rotated around, seeing the empty corridor.

As she tried resolving these questions in her mind, she heard a door swing open. She stumbled her way around to see Lynn emerge from her room.

"Hey," she said as she passed by.

"Hi Lynn," Leni responded. Her eyes followed her sister as she went to the bathroom, even staring at the door once it was closed. She supposed that was a nice distraction from her thoughts, even a means of giving a kind gesture.

"Hi Leni."

The sudden noise made her jump, even scream a little. She landed forward, her feet clumsily holding her up, and clamped her hand against her mouth. It made her eyes widen a little and her breathing hiccup a little, much to her embarrassment. Upon turning around, that humiliation spread when she saw Lucy's despondent figure.

"Sorry," Leni said, flushed with guilt. Lucy, though, sighed in resignation. Seeing her long face was depressing. Over the last few months, she had witnessed her sixth youngest sibling slouching more and smiling less (although she had never done that often to begin with). Her black hair (another oddity from a set of parents that wore blonde and brown) was being groomed less and less, allowing it to become an unkempt nest. And to top it off, she had even requested her to craft a special outfit, citing that none of the clothes in the attic were "dark enough". Leni agreed and happily put it together, but now that was all she ever wanted to wear (except to go to bed). Sometimes, Leni got concerned with her little sister's behavior. She wondered if there was any joy in her heart, underneath her smelly unwashed dress (perhaps a second outfit was in order to be made). And now she had supposedly hurt her feelings once again. So much for a reassurance, she thought.

Leni decided that for the moment, a hug was needed. With that, she lunged at Lucy, embracing her tightly.

"Are you okay?" Leni asked, worry apparent in her voice. All she could think about was whether this would be enough to make her sister feel better after the act of insensitivity she displayed. And to think she's supposed to be the older one.

"I'm as well as a violet right as the first snow falls," Lucy said in a monotonous drone, accompanied by yet another sigh.

While Leni's mind remained very much on the task at hand, she felt her mind enter a labryinth. The walls were towering and impenetrable, all the paths seemingly led to nowhere, and the her embarrassment mounted even more.

"What do you, like, mean? You're not a violet," Leni said. To make up for her lack of knowledge, she used her hand to start brushing her sister's thick unruly hair. Even if she couldn't understand what Lucy had to say, she could at least make her feel beautiful.

Instead, Lucy sighed once again.

"Nevermind."

Leni made sure to hold on to that hug, especially after that last comment. The last thing she wanted was for her little sister to feel like she doesn't matter. Especially not now. Maybe a little more brushing could help, which is what she did. And a pat on the back, and a gentle one at that. She refused to let go.

But in the end, it was Lucy that backed away. After some hard pushing, the younger girl pried herself away from Leni and solemnly walked away.

The older sister watched as Lucy retreated to her room. She stood there, feeling sorry for herself. In her eyes, Lucy didn't seem okay, nor all that thrilled to be around her. Trying to forget about it, she went downstairs and stood in the foyer. Keys rattled and Lynn Sr. emerged in a neon blue suit and a cool smirk.

"Hey there Leni," he said casually.

"You look great," Leni said, throwing in a smile of her own. After that last incident, she wished to impart good feelings more so than usual.

"Thanks!" he expressed, using his energetic arms to show off the outfit, "Your mother and I are heading out for a little bit. I thought I'd go old school with the same suit I wore to our prom."

The blonde nodded in agreement. On cue, heels tapped across the floor. Leni turned around to see her mother in a formal purple dress. Even from several feet away, Leni's nose was overwhelmed by the strong perfume her mother had applied. It was then that she realized it was those type of special nights, where her parents would act like they're going to the opera or some other high class event. Still, she admired her mother's efforts.

"You look great, Mom," Leni said, only to immediately regret the fact that she had used the same wording.

Rita giggled.

"Thank you honey. We shouldn't be out for too long. Lori will watch over you," she said as she joined her husband.

Before she could say anything else, the married couple flew out of the door. When the door gave a hardy slam. For several seconds, the house fell silent. Leni had largely internalized much of the background noise that was natural to the House. She thought her ears buzz from a lack of stimuli.

But with a lot of precious things, silence was short-lived. A piercing pitch sliced through the halls and staircase. Lori marched from the living room to the foot of the staircase. Her head mechanically swiveled like a robot, revealing her shady demeanor and firm lip.

"What do you think you're doing?" Lori asked, trying her best to come across as cold. Leni merely stood there, unsure of how to answer. She didn't know what she was doing, let alone what she thought about it. Lori, though, tucked her lips inward and shook her head.

"Get in line!"

Startled, Leni propped up her Ducky arms. By this point, it was an instinct. Given how she couldn't help this, she knew she didn't want to make it worse. And with that, she slowly and shamefully walked herself to the "line". Meanwhile, a blob of children filed down the stairs. Leni saw the dread in their eyes and lifelessness in their posture. Each of them lined up to her left, with Luna right next to her. Lori glared through her dark shades as she saw what she viewed as sad slaves.

"Now that I have your attention," she started, "you will do as I say. By now you know the drill, but," she then smirked a little out of pride, "I will be honored to list them again," and with that, she halted for dramatic effect. She stood as straight as a pencil as she readjusted her shades, "There is to be no rough housing, no snacks, no messes, no TV, no Internet."

The babysitter then leaned into Luan, who recoiled in fear, "No jokes, puns, or tricks."

She then paced slowly towards the younger end, eventually stopping at the twins, "No going outside and no playing with the pets," she said, pointing her finger at Lana. The finger then took its sweet time traveling to Lola, "No makeup, no tea parties."

Both of them moaned and whispered some inaudible words (at least from Leni's perspective). Lori, though, scrunched her face.

"If you have a problem with that, then perhaps you can whine all you want in solitary confinement. I bet Lynn would love to have some company," she said, her grin growing to include her braces. And with that, she continued forward, this time standing right in front of Lynn, who rolled her eyes upon seeing the babysitter.

"In case none of you know," Lori announced to her entire 'platoon', one of the members folding her arms, "Lynn Marie Loud Junior," she said as slowly as possible, making sure every words hits like a hammer on a nail, "has been sentenced to one hour of solitary confinement for insubordination and complete disrespect of the sanctity of the uniform that proudly is bestowed upo-"

"Get on with it!" Lynn said, impatient with the unnecessarily purple description. Lori froze, offended even to hear such a snide remark. She did her best to bolden her expression and press on.

"Lucy," she said. The younger reserved girl snapped to attention, "Because your room will be where Lynn will be in solitary confinement, don't go in there," she then quipped a smug, "Unless you want to be sentenced too."

Lucy shuddered at the thought of enraging her intimidating older sister. She nodded.

"Yes m'am," she replied.

Having her boots cemented on the same spot, her head encroached upon Lynn, who was unfazed. Leni knew that Lynn wasn't one to be daunted by her siblings, no matter what their size difference was. Even now, Lynn mirrored the glare Lori gave her.

"Watch it, bud," Lori whispered through her grated teeth. And to add to the effect she desired to achieve, Lori even jabbed her little sister in the chest. Fortunately, Lynn wasn't willing to assault back. All she gave was a glare.

And with that, Lori continued with her stroll, still insisting on upholding the military-style professionalism she sought to impress. This time, she stopped right in front of Leni. Her body's first instinct was for her belly to churn. With those shades, her big sister was terrifying and commanded respect that she craved.

"No sewing," she said simply.

As Lori proceeded, Leni felt herself calm down. Sure she loved sewing and was disappointed that was prohibited, leaving her only to conversation and her magazines. But at the same time, the babysitter came across as gentler than she had to the other siblings. She didn't give her any especially sinister look (no glare, no smug, no leaning); Lori just gave it straight and moved on, as if she were merely talking to her. Why was that? Or was it just her thinking silly again? Maybe Lori actually had the most impatience and contempt and she just couldn't pick up on it. How could she know for sure?

Lori approached Lisa and bowed her torso down to the infant's level.

"No reading," Lori said exceptionally slowly and amplified. Even Leni knew she was using baby talk, but the way it came out was far more mocking than she hear Mom or Dad use.

"I'm gonna read so I could learn more," Lisa said slyly.

Everyone else (barring Lori) gasped. Lisa was no more than a month old, yet she could speak (and relatively well at that). Sure her voice was high, squeaky, and underdeveloped, but that didn't matter to them. Leni's eyes went to Lori, who's cheeks and lips were betrayed by the shock of the disobedience. For a good ten seconds, she was too startled to even speak. Leni swore she could see Lori's true self in that moment of vulnerability. She saw a person that wasn't able to properly handle authority nor sought to. It was uncomfortable to witness something like this; Lori always seemed like the type of person that would know what to do. But soon enough, her face emboldened and her hands gripped.

"You are to do as you are told," she declared, trying her best to reassert herself. Lisa, though, appeared...unusual. At first, she was glancing at the ground, as if she was observing the material of Lori's boots. But then, Leni observed her youngest sister fidget in her spot.

"But it's stupid!" Lisa shouted, her face shooting back up. The outburst shocked everyone once more. Not only was their youngest competently talking, she now had attitude. This time, Lori was quicker to react.

"You are on warning! How dare you commit insubordination upon me!" Lori barked back, forcing her body upon Lisa.

"No!"

In a swift motion, Lisa stomped Lori's foot. The babysitter screamed as she hopped in an effort to heal the stabbing pain. In this interlude, Lisa sprinted up the stairs.

"I will not be inhibited by your autocracy!" she exclaimed as she dashed upward. She reached her room and slammed the door, the crash clambering around the entire House.

The remaining younger siblings watched nervously as Lori took her time nursing her foot. For a small child, Lisa really knew how to inflict pain. Was that something she read in those dumb books or was she wearing cleats, she wondered. Lori figured she wasn't gonna yell or anything; she already knew Lisa was gonna be in solitary confinement. She was in too much distress to scream or anything. Eventually, she lowered the foot on the ground and stared at each of her "subjects".

"No one is to see her as a role model," she said. Her voice may not have been loud, but it was seething with anger, an emotion that all of them immediately internalized, "Now go about your evening, wherever that's supposed to be."

Most of them immediately headed upstairs, presumably to their rooms (or in Lucy's case, someone else's). Leni, though, stuck behind and walked up to Lori.

"Are you okay?" Leni asked.

Lori shot an impatient look at her little sister. She could tell some of the pain from the strike was still painted on her face.

"Go to my room," she said, out of breath and willpower, "That is an order."

Leni wanted to say something else. Clearly, her big sister wasn't well (though the amount to which that was owed to Lisa's outburst was dubious). She saw it as her duty to look out for Lori, the least she could do for all the years she had received support from her. Anything, a kind word or a hug, could have and should have done wonders to her.

So why did she choose to head immediately upstairs?

Perhaps it was a fear of retribution. Maybe it fell under some weird guise that following this "order" would make her big sister feel better. Either way, it didn't make her feel very good.

"And to think I have to ask her to forgive Carol...How am I gonna get this done?"

One step at a time. Up those shameful steps.

Chapter 25: Lori's Domain

Leni sat on her bed scanning through her phone. It was quiet, given how Lori was still on "hall patrol". She wasn't exactly sure why that step was necessary, but she immediately assumed that it was. After all, Lori was always right.

The girl checked all her usual websites. No new Princess Pony fanfics or fashion videos on TubeTube. No text messages or friend requests on EyePage. Nothing fresh to read or watch. To her, it seemed the Internet was having the slowest night ever.

Putting her phone down, she got up and leaned towards her nightstand. She dug through its contents. The thing was largely jumbled and disorganized, which forced her to remove some of the stuff and place it on the top. One of them was a clean sheet with her name and Lori's birthday on it. Feeling a pang of shame, she carefully slid it on the bottom, ensuring it was out of plain sight. Eventually, she pulled out this week's issue of the lucrative 16.5 magazine. Before doing anything else, she strategically placed everything back in the drawer, obscuring that white sheet in the process.

She held up the magazine and stared at it. Even after spending a whole afternoon in her dark cramped drawer, the cover still bore a glossy shine that glittered along her vision. The older girl that dominated much of it had flawless cream skin and immaculate chocolate hair. Gazing at her wonderful image made her think of her older sister. Was this what all those silly products doing on the bureau? She had seen models like this girl in 16.5 before, but she herself never strove to make her face look like their's; her only interest was the clothes.

"Hey! What does a guy have to do to get some privacy around here?" she heard through the corridor and walls.

"Oh wah!" she heard Lori, mock pouting, "Am I ruining your little chit chat with your loser friend?"

Leni couldn't even get the magazine open. The amplified conversation was too much of a disturbance. She wondered how Lori could aspire to be someone so beautiful when there was clearly much work to be done.

"That's mean. Linky's not a loser!"

"Take that back right now!"

"Well I don't have to! You know why?" Lori exclaimed, her voice smoldering with nasty glee, "Because you're the one breaking the rules. I forgot to report it earlier, but talks with people outside the House are prohibited...Give me that walkie talkie."

"I don't wanna!" Lincoln protested.

"Would you like solitary confinement? Huh. I have already put two in there and I would be happy to put more!"

"Why can't I have this? Mom and Dad let me talk to Clyde all I want when they're home."

"Well...um...Mom and Dad aren't here...just give it to me!"

"I don't wanna!"

Leni was trying to tune out the outside fighting. No one in the House liked it, but most of them appeared to tolerate it. She, though, couldn't stand it. It brought all of her thoughts and activities to a grinding halt, yielding to the tension (whether it's having to witness it or trying to block it out). Leni was shocked that others were able to still function and go on with their routine as it happened and was even more so by the fact that they would even participate in it.

"One hour solitary confinement!" Lori exclaimed, followed by a deafening slam. Leni heard footsteps quickly increasing in volume. And then, her door swung open and Lori emerged, gripping a black brick-shaped object. Leni tensed up a little as she heard her big sister sigh and easily lie down on her bed.

"Lincoln Loud, do you copy?" a voice broke out through a static barrier. Leni immediately figured it came from the walkie talkie and, from the sound of it, was Lincoln's friend from earlier. If only she could remember that boy's name, "Lincoln Loud, do you need me to come over? Please copy."

Lori sighed, her mouth pressed against her bed sheets. Suddenly, she propped herself up and grabbed the device.

"My brother is done for the night. Now go away!" she snarled into the machine.

"Yes m'am," the voice said terrified. The static then cut out entirely, silencing the walkie talkie.

As she planted it on her night stand, Lori sighed once again. But rather than it being natural or suggestive of tiredness, it was forced and carried all the subtlety of a cartoon show. To boot, she even threw out of her arms, as if she were yawning. She hoped to capture her younger sister's attention, but her head was buried between the covers of 16.5 magazine.

"Let me tell you," Lori said, making sure every word was articulate and projected, "it ain't easy putting up with a bunch of babies. If it weren't for me," she then jabbed both her hands (which were shaped like daggers) firmly into her chest, "this entire House would fall apart!"

"Like, why did you have to be mean to Linky like that? You could have, like, just let him keep talking to his friend," Leni said.

Through her shades, her attention-hungry eyes noticed that Leni was still inside that gospel. Leni couldn't even bothered to meet eye-to-eye for that audacious comment. Perhaps, she figured, even more theatrics would be required.

"I mean think about it," she said as she got up and started wandering aimlessly around the room, "here you have Mom and Dad gone and suddenly the House becomes all," she then stopped and slapped both her cheeks between her palms, forming a sandwich. To add to it, she put on her best damsel impression, "'Oh no! We have nine babies inside and they're gonna run around, break things, insult each other, and ruin everything! If only we had a super special, very important person to stop them!'"

She then took one of her hands and turned it into a fist. As she struck it in the air, she planted her feet and gave an ideal smug.

"And then I swoop in to save the day," Lori said, trying to evoke a sense of pride and triumph, "I say 'No! You can't do that!' and then I say 'No! Mom and Dad don't want people over the House!' and then everyone will see me and that is why they do as I say. They'll say that nothing around here would work without me! And then Mom and Dad will say that I'm doing a good job! And then I'll think the same way!" she then desperate gleamed as her eyes returned to her intended demographic, "So what do you think?"

That did get Leni's attention, or at least got her to put down the magazine. Her face, though, lacked any expression on it, worrying to babysitter.

"So, like, the House can talk?" Leni pondered. Just like that, Lori found herself mentally banging her head against an imaginary wall.

"No, but you know what I mean," Lori said, annoyed, "The point is that without me, everyone would misbehave," she then forced herself to imagine each of these scenarios, although it took more effort than she would like to admit, "If I wasn't here to tell you all what to do, then you would be making a big mess with your sewing machine. Plus, I'm pretty sure you would hurt yourself using that death trap. I don't wanna have to put up with Mom and Dad over that."

A brief moment of silence ensued. All Lori hoped to assume was that Leni was taking her time processing this.

"Really?" Leni said.

"Yes!" Lori exclaimed, sporting a cozy grin.

Another pause.

"I'm, like, in here by myself a lot. Whenever I use the machine, I'm, like, pretty careful and I don't get hurt," Leni said matter-of-factly.

Meanwhile, Lori was stricken. Although she still had that smile, it was starting to feel more awkward and her cheeks were starting to hurt. Why did Leni have to undermine her like this? Was she trying to drag her down or something? Still, Leni continued.

"In fact," Leni said, her head turning to the bag beside the machine, "Just today when I was in here all by myself, I made some lovel-"

"And what about Luna!" Lori blurted out. Her younger sister stopped talking, but didn't immediately turn back to face her. The babysitter told herself that she had to keep going to stay alive, "Oh Luna. You never know what that girl is up to. She'd probably...um..."

"Come on, think of something!"

" run away from home if I weren't around to keep her in line," she made up, ignoring the weirdness of the thought, "Surely, you've seen how she can go from running around to feeling sad in the blink of an- err, very quickly! I wouldn't want her to put those two things together, you know."

Leni did her best to put all of this together, but her older sister kept going.

"Then there's Luan. Without me, she'd go full on April Fool's Day in here! I can already see the emergency room and the paramedics trying to fix your broken fac-uh then there's Lynn! Never forget about her! Football field, basketball court, dirt bike track all indoors! Priceless valuables...gone!"

Lori amped up the theatrics through melodramatic tears and even more flippant arm movements. All Leni could do was let her mouth clumsily fall open. At this point, Lori was speaking too quickly for her to have any emotional reaction to her cry for help.

"Now don't even get me started on Lincoln! He's just a gross, disgusting boy! Just imagine him and all of his boy friends getting their dirty hands and feet all over our room. Imagine your precious sewing machine getting smashed or jammed or touched! And Lucy? Well she'll just sit around talking about how sad she is all the time! I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up running away from home too! Lana would track mud and maybe even bring in a spider! A spider! Doesn't that scare you? Lola would lose her freakin' mind and terrorize all of us, being an even bigger jerk than I would ever hope to be! And Lisa? Well, she'd probably learn how to build some weird machine that would blow up the Hou- No!...the entire town."

At last, there was a pause. For the first time since she started speaking, Lori took a gander at her audience. Leni appeared unfazed, deflating her spirits a little.

On the other side, Leni was left mostly confused. The most feeling she truly got was when she said 'spider' (the mere image of that fuzzy creepy crawler was enough to make her heart jump in her throat). But she wondered if her other siblings were really like that. She didn't think so. Most of her siblings were pretty nice people (even if some of them were grumpier than others).

But the more noticeable feature was Lori's face. Neither Mrs. Boxer nor Mrs. Lane had gone over every possible nuance in human expression, but Leni felt she had developed a pretty good system for determining if someone was at least alright or bad. Looking at her big sister, she saw a smile that was forced and revealed her braces-coated teeth clenched tight (as if she were a lion devouring its prey), cheeks that were firm and had beads of sweat dripping down, eye brows that were unusually lifeless, and a posture that was far too animated and overcompensating to be natural. Even if she couldn't put her finger quite on it, Leni determined that her sister was not well.

"Lori, um, are you, like, okay?" she asked, her unsupported voice a strong contrast to the hammy, booming refrain that preceded it.

Rather than answer, she merely stretched her arms again (as if she hadn't already given them proper toning. Leni watched as her older sister did several exercises that took up a decent span of time. She lacked the will to interrupt or press her because she felt these movements were answering her question. The specifics may have been blurry, but Leni had a hunch (one that she felt was best reserved for another time, at least until after she fixes the problem with Carol).

"Sorry about that," Lori eventually said, her voice cartoonishly inflated, "babysitting is such a draining job that I had to do a refresher," she then shot Leni a condescending smug, "But don't worry, you'll never need to understand. As long as I'm around, I will have it in me to take up the duty!"

Deep down, Leni still felt as if some things were out of place. What did her sister mean by her never needing to understand? Is her big sister hiding something and if so, was it something she wanted to know? However, Leni was suddenly reminded of a powerful force that lied under her surface.

"Why can't you just take her word for it? You're being silly again! Lori is always right and you have no reason to say she isn't!"

Ultimately, it was that trust that won out. She figured that she couldn't dare challenge her sister or make her more upset than those thoughts proclaimed her to be. It told her that she was just rebelling in the false pursuit of being right. All it would have left is shame and hurt feelings. And with that, she nodded her head.

"Okay," Leni said gently.

Leni turned back to her magazine and started looking at the pictures, giving Lori the opportunity to settle on her bed. This issue had some really interesting designs in it (no wonder the price tags were unaffordable). She considered all the creative ways to make new designs, whether they were copies or reimaginings of what appeared on the colorful pages.

But just as she was about to become complacent, an alerting thought dragged her out of the immersion. As she stared at the open magazine, Leni found herself unable to keep herself at peace.

"Is this how the whole night is gonna go down? You have a super big thing to do and you're just gonna push it off again!"

Leni's head jerked to Lori. The babysitter sat on the edge of her bed, her back as straight as a pencil. She silently observed Lori, trying to spot any movement. But she never slouched, leaned, or anything. It was as if she were a night watch woman, completely focused and above any form of distraction.

Even with that voice shouting in her head, Leni was unsure whether the time was right. It was like this force was telling her that she should back off, let Lori do whatever it was she was doing. Besides, she was Leni Loud. When was she ever the one to press an issue when it didn't have to do with stupid clothes? But on the other hand, she recalled how much she liked Carol (even though she got weird vibes from some of the stuff she was saying, ones she still couldn't put to words). Leni felt a tinge at the thought of letting these relations go unresolved. All she wanted was for everyone in her Fashion Club to be happy.

"Lori," Leni said, shutting the magazine and lying it down on her bed.

"Do you have permission to address me?" Lori stated, her body frozen and her voice affirmative. Leni was stunned. Lori had only acted like this when she was babysitting and in that costume. Did she really feel like that was necessary to do her job and keep the House together?

"I don't know, like, do I?" she asked, genuinely confused. Not helping was the seemingly strange use of the word "address". It briefly preoccupied her from speaking, but she triumphed. Oh, how she thought Lori would be proud.

Instead, though, she sighed.

"What do you want to talk about? What is so important that you have to take my attention away from these troublemakers?" Lori asked begrudgingly. That remark was the only sound Leni could make out, however. Out there, surprisingly, there were no other conversations to be heard (or games or any rumbling). It was as if Leni herself were the troublemaker, giving her mixed feelings. She had doubts about falling through that started to resurface again. If Lori's word was anything to go by, Leni felt they shouldn't be a reason for this effort to be embarked on tonight, that it would only upset her even more quickly than when the parents were home.

"Why won't you go away?" Leni thought to herself. She was glad that during all of this, Lori remained a statue at her post. Who knew what type of things she was letting out by thinking about everything.

"Um..." Leni made out, trying to give herself time to debate the situation. Eventually, she cleared her mind and proceeded, "I talked to Carol again and I don't think she's as mean as you think she is."

As she dreaded, Lori groaned. This time, though, it was enough to break her guard; she shook her head and swiveled around the bed.

"Ugh. Why do you keep talking about her?" Lori asked nastily.

"Because, like, I want you two to be friends and to be happy. She's-"

"How many times do I have to bring it up? We are done! I will never forgive her for the way she treated me back then!"

Now seemed like a good place to quit, or so it seemed again at first. It felt like every word only hurt the babysitter even more. And when she knew Lori was hurt, she felt that way too. But then she remembered Carol again, that sweet yet sorry face. She imagined her pleading for Lori's forgiveness, her eyes welling up with tears, only to be slapped in the face and left to weep. Leni feared that scene as much as the one unfolding before her.

"But she told me that, like, she wants to say sorry to you," Leni said. Although her voice still sounded largely robotic, pieces of her conviction were picking their way through it, "can't you give her a second chance?"

"Can't you just leave me alone?"

Lori shot her a glare through her shades, the fire in her eyes searing the opaque plastic. Leni broke what limited eye contact she had with her sister, preferring to let her vision rest on the blank wall where her innocent drawings once hung. Had she really descended so far as to "rebel" against Lori? What kind of sister was she, she asked.

"Why do you even give her the time of day?" Lori asked, tinged with resentment. Leni, though, kept her eyes on the wall, "Sure she has nice hair and fancy clothes and an expensive purse! She wears makeup and...she has been winning friends left and right since last years," a brief, telling pause, "But I'm those things too!"

At this point, she could no longer keep herself looking away. Leni turned back to se Lori. She was standing up and pacing around the room again, flippantly flapping her arms for some strange reason.

"Look at me!" she continued, raising her voice and pressing her hands against her chest, "I have every good thing she has and more! I'm up to date on the new fashion trends! I have all the makeup I need to look stunning every morning!" she then pulled out her phone, which had a "diamond"-encrusted case and her small white purse, "Look at this stuff! It's stylish!"

Throwing both of those things on the bed, she continued pacing the room. It was like she was spilling her feelings in a diary; the company was enough to reassure her but (as she assumed) not smart enough to comprehend or give meaningful advice. Leni felt herself growing increasingly concerned as her sister kept speaking.

"And who cares about being in some dumb Honor Society anyway? Sure you can go out there and save the whole world or whoever! But you don't need any of that," Lori then froze and pivoted towards Leni. Lori desperately approached, using whatever body parts she could to point at herself, "You have me! You have me to keep this dump from falling apart! And as long as you need me, that's all that ever needs to matter! Who cares about that stupid Carol? She couldn't keep this place in tact if she tried! But I can!"

Leni grew uneasy from watching Lori descend into despair from this whole ordeal. She was confused, trying to think what she did to make her open up so...transparently. Why was Lori suddenly acting so animated and paranoid?

"You're right about one thing," Leni said, "I do need you."

She still wasn't sure what exactly her big sister had wandered off into, but either way, she got up from her bed and hugged her big sister. Lori trembled at first, but those words were at least enough to keep her from blowing her whistle. She just remained frozen in that spot, letting her sister display her feelings. After the roller coaster she went through from that one rant, a hug certainly was nice.

"Did Carol make you feel bad about yourself in the past?" Leni asked, still locked in an embrace.

"Yes. She literally showed off all her stuff even back in first grade and she made fun of me for looking ugly. But she's literally wrong!" Lori said defensively. True, she told herself now that she had fantastic taste for fashion, but when she was younger, even she admitted that Carol's insults stung.

"Okay. She, like, doesn't do that anymore and she even said she wants to be friends with you again," Leni said.

Lori, still in the hug, laughed sarcastically, worrying her younger sister.

"You're so cute," she said, "there's no way she would ever want to be friends with a 'low-life' like me."

All she got in return was a tighter hug, making Lori regret using those precise words.

"She really means it. She said it in front me and, like, all of her friends," Leni replied, her voice filled with compassion whose authenticity Lori couldn't hope to chip at, "Carol has so many friends. She likes people and she wants you too," Lori then felt another tug, "and, like, you are not a low-life."

As she heard her little sister speak from the midst of a warm, intimate moment, Lori sensed inklings of compassion trying to break away at her fortress of stubborn pride and humiliating memories.

"Well if she has so many friends, then what difference would I make to her?" she asked pointedly. Indeed, the steel walls were harder to melt than any 'hard feelings' Leni could have developed for anything. That was certainly one major difference the sisters had (one of many obvious distinctions).

"I'm sure she, like, um, would like more friends," Leni said, though she had difficulty finding words to defend herself, "She said she would want to be your friend. And, like, don't you think she would have, like, not said your name if, like, she didn't mean it? Friends are, like, good and, like, um, you can never have too many."

Lori wasn't sure how to tackle that. Sure, she still carried a significant amount of doubts about that argument. The notion that Carol was an overrated snooty still clung to her like Leni. She didn't like having to face facts on the matter, preferring to blind herself with those earlier memories of her rather than the glimpses of good deeds she had seen around the halls of Royal Woods Junior High in recent months (and it certainly didn't please her to consider herself delusional).

"What do you know about friends? You don't have any!"

But feeling the warmth of their togetherness told otherwise. It may not have made her willing to take Leni's word at face value (she resented herself on the occasions where her rationality forbade her from doing this), but it did convince her of one thing; the absolute sincerity of it all softened her attitude, created a hole in the wall rather than leveling it.

"Okay," she said without smiling, "if it'll make you feel better, I will give Carol a second chance."

She felt Leni nudge her head and stare up with wide eyes and a small smile. Lori was almost tempted to smile at seeing her sister's hopeful face.

"I want to make something perfectly clear, though," Lori said staring at her sister. She tried to sound affirmative, however her throat was naturally relaxed and softened from the mushy fuzzies. Leni, though, kept those eyes on her, pleading for her to continue, "I will be open to changing my mind about her, but that does not mean that I will end up liking her. I want you to know that because if I end up not becoming friends with her, then it won't be for a lack of trying," while she could see a different personality take this opportunity to take off the shades, she actively decided against it, "Understand?"

Leni immediately nodded without a word.

Worrying that she would have gotten too weak, Lori pulled herself away and stood straight as a soldier. Perhaps it was good enough, given how Leni oddly decided to emulate her posture. She supposed it was respect, obedience, dependence (the last one being the most important). But even with all that had happen (or maybe because of them), Lori couldn't be too harsh on her immediate younger sister.

"I will be out for Hall Monitoring duties. Do not sew," she simply said.

And with that, Lori marched out the door, leaving the girl to herself. What she felt was a combination of ease and nerves. She was relieved to have accomplished her goal (kinda). It may not have been a golden guarantee, but it was more than she could have realistically expected. Leni Loud, the advocate. To her, it didn't seem like a title she could have attained. As far as she could recall, everything that involved other people hinged on them taking the lead and her to be the audience (the response rather than the leader). There may have been a few minor incidents of her initiating an action or conversation, but to her, what did they matter? It's not like anyone remembered them anyway (including herself). She supposed it was a little exciting.

"But what about how you made Lori upset?"

That was a genuine point in her mind. At what cost did her personal gain come at? There were doubts, even at the outset, that it was worth it (even if the "pain" was fleeting). Not helping was the poor timing.

"Maybe I should have caught her when she wasn't acting so weird."

And why was she weird like that at all? Mom and Dad were never so open like that in front of her. Was it something on Lori's mind? Did she catch a bug? Was it something about her?

Personally, it was a question that guided Leni the rest of that night. Even when she returned to her precious magazine, she never let the thought be forgotten. The ads for makeup and hair products made that an easy job, even though Lori never returned to the room until bedtime.

"Was she just mad at Carol?"

Chapter 26: Thinking Loud

Once again, Leni found herself sitting outside the pack of "popular" girls. As usual, they were chatting and occasionally taking a bite from their salads. She herself decided to try one for herself. Leni eyed the mixture of green leaves and herbs of assorted colors.

Picking up a plastic fork, she jabbed the plate and pulled out a small leaf and an orange strand. Leni briefly stared at it before ingesting the mixture. It was dry on the outside, yet contained some juices on the inside. Some parts of it were tasteless while others had a muted flavor to them. In a sense, it truly did taste like it grew from the ground (or as natural as the cafeteria could prepare it). She wasn't sure how to feel about it, so she decided to keep eating it in the hope that more exposure would allow her to make up her mind. At least with the other foods she liked, she immediately knew what to think of them.

As she ate, her eyes wandered elsewhere in the cafeteria. It was from there that she saw Lori take a seat next to Carol and her friends. She was too far away to detect her reaction, however she was relieved that even by Monday, her big sister had still remembered her promise. Whatever they were discussing, Leni dismissed, telling herself that she can just ask Lori at the end of the day.

With that, she returned to her own situation, eating more salad and watching the same five girls talk about their day.

"So then I literally said 'I'm not paying fifty dollars for this dress' and walked out!"

"What a ripoff! Is he trying to make you go broke?"

"But now I got nowhere to go! You honestly think that I'm going back there after they tried to charge me that much for rags!"

"There's the Fashion Club," Leni said. Just like that, without any thought, she decided to blurt it out for all to hear. Perhaps it was all that time of hearing them speak rapid fire to each other, teaching her that unless she rose up at their pace that she was never gonna get a word in. For her, thinking slowed down the process too much.

All five of the girls clammed up and turned to the sound's source. Leni tensed up at their gazes. They had never stared at her before and she wasn't ready. Her eyes darted around while her ears didn't pick up any voices, or at least not right away.

"Oh yeah, I saw a flyer from that," Leni heard one of them say. In that moment, she was too nervous to internalize tone or subtle social nuances. Even with that, she at least tried to keep herself still and focused.

"Do you know if it's any good?"

"Yeah..." Leni replied anxiously. By this point, she was twiddling her thumbs to concentrate the surge of energy flowing through her body. Granted, she had little clue on how much clothes they would generate for their sale, but it was better answer than none, she supposed.

"You know, I think I might come to the next meeting," one of them said, "but it better be good."

Sure that remark was a little sharp, but Leni didn't care all that much. This scenario blurred the lines between daydream and reality; the fact that she made it this far astonished her.

"I like clothes and I make them too," Leni added.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Oh that's cool," Whitney said flatly as she took out her phone and started tapping on it. She didn't bother to ask what it was she was doing.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Assuming she had given sufficient input, Leni retreated to her salad and quickly took another bite of it. The sparks firing in her mind blew away the salad's irrelevant taste. It was only now that she could take a step back and reflect what had happened. Her heart bounced around at how quickly and lively the conversation had transpired. It made her wonder if she really did that or if it were someone speaking on her behalf. Either way, it was simply exhilarating. Her hands became jittery, allowing her to scarf down the rest of the salad as if it were a tasty hot dog.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Still excited, she got up and paced to the opposite end of the cafeteria with her plate to toss it out. No need to wait until the end of the period or acknowledge any of the trash cans she passed en route. All she could think about was how proud Lori and her family would be if they witnessed that. She, the least social in the family, initiated a talk with a bunch of girls that called themselves popular.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">In the hopes of adding to he mound, she stretched her neck over to the section where Carol and Lori were seated. Unfortunately, they were too far for any of their faces to be discerned. Granted she could have gone closer to do some inspecting, however she didn't want to impose. Besides, that "milestone" she fulfilled was quite a lot for socializing. She didn't need to overdo it, she figured. So with that notion in mind, she headed back to the table (though that didn't prevent her from staring at the duo the whole time). Leni didn't bother tuning into the "popular" crowd's conversation, her mind too preoccupied by excitement and curiosity. Perhaps today would mark the splash that ended this dry spell.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">At this point, the future seemed bright. Lori and Carol were gonna be besties. Lori would stop bugging her about making friends. The Fashion Club was going to grow and help all sorts of people, not just students at special schools. These thoughts (fantasies) carried her all the way to the bell. Not even waiting for her "friends" to pack up, Leni got up and paced all the way out of the cafeteria.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The transit from there to Mrs. Lane's room was brief and unfazing. All she could think about was the rush and how she planned to announce it in front of the others. They were gonna be so happy, she thought.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi!" Leni chirped as she flung the door open and bounced to her seat. Her bright eyes were immediately locked on Mrs. Lane, who was carrying a soft smile.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You seem excited," Mrs. Lane observed, "anything on your mind?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It was like the teacher had telepathy. Either that or she was getting better at expressing herself. Just getting the opportunity was too much for her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I made new friends today!" she blurted out, her jubilance practically outrunning her mouth movement. It was only then that Leni realized she was smiling herself, a gesture that was purely unconscious. This all appeared to be good signs.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"That's wonderful," Mrs. Lane replied as she went to the white board and started writing the daily itinerary on it, "maybe as soon as Jake and Billy get here, we can talk more about this."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Okay!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">With nothing else to do, Leni started to tap her foot on the tile floor, her head occasionally snapping back to the door. With all the ambiance of unintelligible chatter emanating in the background, it was impossible to detect either of their distinct voices. Sight really mattered at that time. Leni also checked the clock to calculate how much time she would have to discuss her "discovery". Even though it felt like an eternity, the clock rigidly moved like a glacier in icy waters.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Soon enough, Billy marched in, his form stiff and mechanical. His limbs were like wood and his face was mostly expressionless. But Leni didn't mind, because that's his usual disposition.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi Billy," Leni said happily.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi Leni," Billy answered before raising his palm. He took one of the seats next to Leni and stared at the board. With him in place, Leni turned back to the door and waited for her other classmate.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Thankfully, it didn't take long for Jake to hustle in. His entire body bounced all the way to the other seat, the contents in his bag clanked and clattered along.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi Jake," Leni said, still carrying that smile. Jake, though, started slapping a rhythm on the desk. He may not have been one of those music kids and the beat was certainly not what one would hear on any single, but Leni didn't mind. Her classmate appeared to be having fun with his boisterous playing.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Jake, Leni just said 'hi' to you," Mrs. Lane said as a gentle reminder. Upon receiving it, he stopped and did his best to face Leni (almost making it).

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi Leni!" he excitedly exclaimed with a chipper grin.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">With no other greetings presented, Mrs. Lane pointed to the agenda she wrote on the whiteboard. All three of them directly their attention to the teacher.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Good afternoon everyone, I hope you all had a great weekend," Mrs. Lane said, standing in front of the room. Seeing her students' excitement was enough to make her happy, as evident by her face and relaxed posture, "Leni, is there something you wanna share with us?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">By now, some of the steam had dissipated and it wasn't as overwhelming, but she still felt the fresh jitters of the event.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I, like, got to talk to some girls today and now we're, like, friends," she said, her mellow voice baked with hints of the joy that had stolen her heart. Upon finishing, she gently sealed her lips and eagerly anticipated the reaction. Sure enough, Mrs. Lane was the first to jump to life.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Well I think that's swell. Don't you two feel the same way?" she asked, using her open hands to gesture to the two other classmates. Indeed it was greeted by half-mumbled acknowledgements, authentic reactions to a reminder of how to compliment someone. Leni liked it, "So how about we take some time to go over what makes a good friend. That way, Leni can have the tools in her toolbox to talk, listen, support, and provide for her new friends. And then we can all use these tools when we talk to others."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It turns out that was the primary objective written on the board with blue marker. It was chilling. At first, she thought it was just the same thrill she was feeling earlier. But then that monotony was broken up by a question. If that was the only thing up there, then what was Mrs. Lane going to cover had she not revealed that information? Would it have been the same agenda? Leni contemplated whether or not Mrs. Lane had to forego some of her plans, all to satisfy the quick outburst she made. Why didn't she just wait until after she started describing her original plan, to know for sure what her true wishes were.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Now the first thing we should do is get to know who these friends are," Mrs. Lane said, her posture and tone unchanged from that serene tranquility, "Leni, do you want to tell us a little about these friends?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The image of all five of those girls bunched together, chatting the lunch period away about who knows what tempted Leni to tell a grand story. With the emotions that struck her from it, she thought that it was possible to spend the entire class period just dumping all sorts of knowledge regarding all of them.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Well, like, there's five of them and they are all girls. They eat salad a lot," she said, pausing to think over what else to say. It was one of those times where she realized that there was a big difference between how much she thought she needed to say and what she was actually able to get out. There were details she thought could be expanded into full sentences (paragraphs even), but never made the final utterance. Eventually, she find something she could craft into audible words, "And one of them, like, is named Cassidy."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Once free from her thinking, Leni saw the board and trembled a little when she saw that everything she said had been documented. And with nothing else to transcribe, Mrs. Lane turned back to her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"That's a pretty good list so far," Mrs. Lane said. Leni, though, felt weird how her own teacher could consider that lack of detail good, "Is there anything that you like that one of your new friends like?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Clothes."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The whole reason she spoke to them to begin with and one of the small handful of topics that were hot enough to become instantly recognizable, instantly worthy of mention. Even though she knew Mrs. Lane wasn't with her during that crucial lunch, there were times where it felt like Mrs. Lane knew exactly what to ask her that would trigger an appropriate response (whether it'd be for Leni's pleasure or her own purposes).

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Okay, so you have something that they like too," she said, inscribing 'clothes' on the white surface. Once it was clear enough for all to read, she turned and gestured to the whole group, "Now can any of you tell me what Leni can do to make her new friends happy?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Jake shot his hand up and shook it around, hoping to be noticed. Indeed, the wild gesture was detected and Mrs. Lane pointed at him.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"How about they play with Legos!" he suggested. All Leni could think about was the amount of Legos that sat in Jake's backpack. They were his favorite toy and they were all he ever talked about when in 'class'. She merely smiled as she genuinely asked herself whether those girls would like Legos.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Well Leni could find out if her friends play with them," Mrs. Lane responded, "if they do then they could use them. And if they don't, then she could find something else they like," she then used her marker and pointed at what she had written down, "Now we already know that her friends like clothes. So what type of things could they do that involves clothes?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The trio then brainstormed various activities involving clothes. Leni raised her hand and looked around, seeing if either Jake or Billy had any ideas of their own. None of hem did. She presumed it was probably due to her status as a girl who likes clothes. As the only person with a suggestion, Mrs. Lane happily pointed to her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Like, I think we could go to the mall," Leni replied. It was the first thing she thought of, yet she smiled a little thinking of all the shopping options that were there.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Very good, Leni!" Mrs. Lane said as she wrote that suggestion under 'clothes'. Indeed, it made Leni feel accomplished, "There's all sorts of stores and kiosks at the mall where you can look at, try on, and buy all sorts of clothes. I bet you and your friends would like going there," and with that, she pointed to Billy, "Billy, do you have any ideas?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The boy stared at Mrs. Lane for a few seconds. His face only moved when he blinked and when opened his mouth.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Talk about clothes," he said robotically.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Yes," the teacher responded, nodding her head. She whipped around and also wrote that on the board, right below the 'mall' suggestion. Leni would never admit it openly, but she did take some pride from her suggestions being at the top of the list.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She abstained while Mrs. Lane continued to ask for various suggestions regarding clothes. It wasn't that she didn't know what type of fun activities there were (she did seeing, read magazines, and tried on all sorts of articles), but she felt far enough ahead to where she could lean back and give the others a chance to catch up. Besides, some of them had some pretty fun stuff to say. Jake suggested doing karaoke in fancy dresses while Billy opted to play imagination games (where she and her 'friends' would draw their dream outfit). While Jake envisioned playing baseball in high heels, Billy thought of opening their own clothes shop and work out the actual financial figures needed to make it a success. With all their creativity, Leni started to wonder if they needed as much 'catch up' as she first thought. It might have made her a little self-conscious, but she didn't let on.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Okay, we seem to have a lot of great things that Leni and her friends could do about clothes," Mrs. Lane proclaimed, observing the long list of various, quirky activities that Leni could see herself enjoying, "Leni, do you know any other interests your new friends have?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">And then she was stuck. She thought that after sitting down "with" these girls that she was bound to pick up other things beside clothes. The student recalled that they mentioned something about a music band somewhere, but was stumped over the precise name or genre. She could've sworn she heard them discuss something that happened on TV, but for all she knew it could have been Princess Pony or Real TimesUnder the Sun. Why couldn't she remember something? Why did she jump the gun?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Um..." she said. Internally, a clock was ticking down with its cold, definitive beats. She didn't want to think about what would happen if and when the time ran out. In that interval, she asked herself if it's better to lie. To be a liar was a terrible thing. Plus, she knew from experience that her attempts at dishonesty were unconvincing. Without a way to get away from it, she simply closed her mouth and shook her head.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"That's okay," Mrs. Lane reassured her, "As you talk more to them, you'll get a better understanding at what they like to do. But let's do a little pretend and say that one of them really likes plants," with a smile on her face, she enthusiastically wrote the word on the board, "Now what type of things could we do to make this friend happy?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">In the following section, Leni made sure to raise her hand as much as possible to throw out whatever suggestions she could. They weren't as creative or out-there as Jake's (who wanted to make a jungle playground for a monkey to swing around), but she tried her best. As she got more and more of her ideas on the board, she pampered herself even more, to compensate for that one embarrassing lack of an answer.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">There it was. It was happening again. As she sat there, the voice telling her to up her game was amplifying.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"No more mistakes! No more dumb stuff!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni shivered within her own skin as she became intimidated by her classmates' responses. They were so creative, so spontaneous, so brilliant. It was as if they were both geniuses that were spouting knowledge by the roll of the tongue (whether it was growing a garden or buying a book about fauna or sending a bouquet of flowers). How were they able to do that? And meanwhile, she could struggle to make out to talk about roses and lilies and daisies.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Behind the blank face she maintained throughout the discussion, Leni realized this wasn't the first time she had these bad feelings. Whenever she went to Mrs. Lane, she always sensed that something was out of place, but the exact source varied.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Some days she blamed the class's slow pace. Since fifth grade, she stopped feeling like every session was a new learning experience; there were days where she was learning something she already knew. She may not have shown it, but she got annoyed by the monotony, the teacher's inability to trust her with remembering stuff for more than a year.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">But then on others, she drew her finger to herself. For all the compliments she's receiving regarding her "progress", she still doesn't view herself as a social butterfly. Sure, some of it was from her introverted nature (spending time with Lori or her family, however much she loved them, was mentally draining). But when she had the space to think clearly, Leni also recognized that she was ill-equipped for meaningful conversations with other people. She lacked the practice or ability with socializing to make herself a virtuoso, and sadly no amount of therapy could resolve that. She knew there was a reason why the mere act of talking to these "popular" girls was enough to send her over the moon. It could have been to anyone, on any topic, for any duration and it still would have made her happy.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">On that day, it definitely felt like the latter was responsible for her distress.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Like...there's...um...a cake with a flower on it," Leni stuttered. Surprisingly, that ended up on the board too.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">As she mentally slapped herself, she definitely registered the latter as the culprit. By this point, she was stuck. Any effort to disentangle herself from this conundrum was pointless.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"This is why you're weird! And not in the good way either."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It was times like these where she wished she could get out of this room. Regardless of what day it was, she felt she no longer belonged in this room, having Mrs. Lane to spoon feed her while the other kids upstaged her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Smack.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Look at yourself! You think you're gonna make friends with that attitude? Think of how Jake and Billy would feel if they heard you say that!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni wasn't even tuning into the conversation anymore. Still holding a blank face, she turned first to Billy (whose stoicism was impossible to decipher) and then to Jake (who was fiddling with his fingers). Thankfully, none of them could hear her mental tirade and she was glad for it. The truth is that she liked both of them. They were nice, cheerful, and creative.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Why don't you ask them to be your friends?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She had given it some thought before. Leni admitted it would be nice if she got closer to one or both of them that it would blossom into a fulfilling friendship. Maybe they would understand what she was going through, dust off these cobwebs and move on. Jake could probably get her into Legos and she could teach him how to sew. Billy could tutor her in math while she showed him where to find the best clothes for the lowest prices. It was a nice fantasy, indeed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">But would it really work out that way?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">For all the admirable qualities they possessed, both of them had many challenges at the friendship game. While Leni never pressed them for details, she never heard them talk about other people outside their family. While they were good at participating at discussions, she had yet to hear them weigh in on any fears they've achieved (no new friends, no successful conversations, no remarkable observance of social rules). How would she know that they'd be willing to befriend her if they had no interest in applying what they learned from Mrs. Lane.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"There you go badmouthing them again! Why can't you just say that you're the one with the problem?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni was ashamed for resorting to assuming things. She figured that was the price for her not asking questions. Maybe deep down, they did want to make friends but they too lacked the confidence or ability to speak up or work at it. It was from that notion that made Leni wonder if others viewed her the same way.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Of course they would!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The bell rang, thrusting Leni out of the mess. Mrs. Lane erased the board while Jake and Billy grabbed their things.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Great job everyone! I hope we can all use this when we're talking to others and I will see you tomorrow," Mrs. Lane said cheerfully.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni awkwardly grabbed her bag. Her chest twisted as she thought about her options. Would she do it? Would she step outside her realm to truly start making real friends?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Jake and Billy were fast. As soon as their bags were on their backs, they bolted out of the room. Leni, though, was too slow in speaking up, as she usually was. She was barely standing up when they were already gone, leaving just her and Mrs. Lane.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Once again Leni, I am proud of you for finally making friends," Mrs. Lane looked at her fondly, giving a warm smile.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It took her a moment to collect her thoughts. She wished her teacher hadn't said that. It felt mocking, as if her teacher already knew everything and was just privately shutting her down. But it was mean to hold hard feelings on other people, especially those that mean well. After all, it was her own fault for having a broken brain.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Thanks," Leni said meekly. There was no pride at this point (or at least not yet).

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">As she shuffled out the room, her mind returned once more to the five girls at the lunch table. Sure they act uninterested towards her (even with their appreciation of clothes). Sure she herself was socially awkward for barging in their conversation. Sure she had an "unchecked" ego for being too quick to celebrate. And now she let Jake and Billy get away, the two people she felt were her true gateway to friendship.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">But now she was being too judgmental towards others. Leni realized she needed to learn more about those five girls, her friends. Maybe once she got closer, she would peel back the exterior and see them for the sweethearts they truly are. They can't be that bad.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I owe it to them to right this wrong," she said as she stumbled to her next class.

Chapter 27: Friend Making

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The last two periods were slower than usual. It was times like these where Leni was her head could face the board without absorbing any of the teacher's information. While she blankly stared at the board with her glazed eyes, her mind was all over the place.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She was so close to asking Jake and Billy for something (a phone number, a special spot at lunch, a hangout, anything). Maybe that day would come when she finally talks to them and gains something tangible to show off to Mrs. Lane, Mrs. Boxer, Dr. Henry, her parents, and Lori.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">And speaking of Lori, there was still the overwhelming question of what her and Carol were doing during lunch. Leni regretted not doing a quick walk by their table to gain some passing insight. Why did she have to get so excited over a small matter?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">And what about the "popular" girls? At best, she only had her foot in the door for them. She had yet to actually get to know them or for them to appreciate her. Sure they like clothes and that's a better starting point than none, but how would she proceed? How could someone as clumsy and weird as her stumble into an insulated community and make something of herself? Leni recognized that she had something to prove, especially after she let her little mouth flap around.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Eventually, classes ended for the day. Leni stuffed the homework worksheets in her bag and staggered out of the room. She proceeded follow her usual routine for Mondays (go outside by the flagpole and wait for Lori to cozy herself out). But today she noticed how quickly she bolted out there. She always got to the pole first and stood there for minutes on end.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni lazily watched others walk off in clumps of two or three, whether down the street or on the bus. Their pace was leisurely, a relaxing stroll where they talked about their day, the weather, or the latest news around the school. And there she was, gripping the hot metal pole with her mouth clamped.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She envisioned the very scenario that was holding up her big sister. Lori was most likely still in the building, decompressing with her friends by her locker. They must have been chuckling, standing around, barely giving her a thought. She didn't blame them for wanting to hang out, but the more she stood there sinking in boredom, the more she regretted her tentative approach to socializing herself. She could have invited Jake or Billy to this spot, chatting about Legos and math while waiting for Lori (who herself could have befriended both of them).

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">At last, Lori arrived. Off in the distance, she saw her sister wave at a couple other girls boarding a yellow school bus. Leni retracted her hand from the pole and brought it to the other. The two hands respectively met at her waist.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hey Leni," she said, coming up to her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Without saying anything, Leni joined her sister and walked alongside her. She wondered if Lori would question her lack of a verbal greeting, hoping that she wouldn't. Luckily, they just kept walking.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi Lori," a relaxed voice said.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The two Louds turned to see a girl with striking blonde hair. Lori recoiled at how saturated and bleached the mess was (her hair was practically like Lincoln's). But the girl didn't seem to mind her own hair, given that smile she gave. But not helping was the group of girls surrounding her. They weren't the "popular" girls that Leni recognized, but they utilized a similar fashion style of leather jackets and expensive dresses. Regardless, Leni didn't express anything and Lori forced a smile that mirrored the girl's.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi Emily," Lori said, trying to emulate the relaxed tone the other girl seemed to master so well.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Before another word could be exchanged, the two entities were too far away. Apparently, the group was headed towards the bus while the Louds opted to walk home.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You know her?" Leni asked plainly.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori shot a pair of furrowed eyebrows and a demeaning stare towards her. Instantly, Leni felt ashamed for irritating her sister.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You're telling me you don't remember Emily," Lori said. Granted, she knew that Leni didn't always have a reliable memory, but sometimes she was baffled by the things she forgot (especially when compared to the multitude of minute fashion knowledge she had on standby), "We were friends when we were little. You knew her!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">As recollections of the girl surfaced, Leni felt worse, even with the distinct image of brown hair. She knew for a fact that something didn't add up.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What's up with, like, her hair?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori scoffed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"She dyed it last year," she replied, half joking, half mocking. The mixed tone was enough to confuse Leni, "Clearly, she has no idea how to use it."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni turned around, trying to catch sight of Emily's hair, but the girl was gone by that point. Looking back at Lori, she wasn't smiling. It did concern her a little.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Do you hate Emily too?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"No," Lori said casually, "just because we aren't close anymore doesn't mean I hate her. I mean it's not like she's a diva or anything."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Oh."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The two walked silently for the next half minute. Leni thought about the real question she wanted to ask, the one she had been dying to press. At first, her chest hurt too much to open her mouth. It was as if the butterflies had broke out of her tummy and worked up to tickle her heart. She was glad she wasn't much of a talker; otherwise, Lori would be demanding to know what was wrong. After several deep, easing breaths, she opened her mouth.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"So...how did it go?" she asked.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What do you mean?" Lori asked, confused.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni tensed up at her unclear wording. So much for Lori being able to pick up on a simple question. What else could have happened with her anyway? She took another inhale.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"How did you and Carol, like, do?" Leni asked again. This time, she forced up her hands, trying to make each one represent a member from the conversation she saw at lunch. This time, Lori's inquisitive brows lowered and she broke contact.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Fine," she answered under an exhale. That magic four-letter word was enough to brush those butterflies away, "It was literally nothing special. She told me about her life and...she asked me about mine."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Just as she had hoped. Lori was capable of getting along with others, even if they were apparently a meanie. She smiled, causing Lori to get annoyed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"See," Leni said through that sunny grin, "now you two are friends!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"No," Lori shot back, folding her arms, "that is not how friendship works. I may have liked what she said, but that doesn't mean that I'm gonna start coming to her for everything."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">That was a weird thing, Leni thought. For most of her life, friendship seemed to be easily in reach for someone as sociable as Lori. Go up, talk, have a good time, and become friends. Did Carol accidentally say something mean to her, something that gave Lori reason to doubt this transformation. That would have been tragic, a sunken opportunity. But then she remembered those girls, the ones she used as a prop to make herself feel better. What did she have to show for what little effort she put out there? Now that she thought about it, she shouldn't have been all that surprised.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Silly Leni."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Are you, like, gonna see her again?" Leni pondered.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Yeah," she replied.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Just like that, that nagging voice was muted. A load was lightened off Leni's head as her big sister swooped in to save the day. She smiled once more as she looked at the shining road ahead (a little difficult, given how the sun was in their eyes). There was no more need for questions. No pressing to be done. As long Lori was trying, nothing else mattered.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Meanwhile, Lori was left sighing as an ice and fire storm each clashed in her mind. She occasionally cast a glance at her little sister and that dumb smile she carried. Leni appeared so innocent, unaware of the nuances junior high brought.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Sometimes she looked back and was marveled at how a person like her could have gotten as far as she did without getting eaten alive. But the answer always came back to pity. That four-letter word, that minimal ounce of meager respect mixed with heaping mound of bitter arrogance, she believed, was the one safety net that kept Leni from falling into the abyss. It was for the best, not being bullied or outwardly insulted. Everyone else had it for her little sister. And sometimes, even she resorted to it.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She hated herself when she did that. She should know better than to go by first impressions. And yet, it remained an occasional habit, a shortcut that relieved her of the burdensome task of remembering the true Leni; the one that was a skilled seamstress, a capable observer, a good pair of ears when she needs to blow off steam. How does she feel knowing about pity? Given that grin, that nauseating smile, she convinced herself that she took it well. Leni seemed like a glass half full person, so why is this even a debate, she wondered.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Carol. That's why, she figured. Lori knew she wasn't lying about her interaction; there were some moments where she knew this reformation was the real deal. Carol was the type of person that could sound sweet when she needed to be, the one that knew just right anecdotes to share and how to squint her eyes as she's performing. It could almost be like she, Lori Loud, was wrong when it came to the people game.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Well, she had just enough about that.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I'm not a fool!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"And that's all I have to say," Leni said as she headed back to her desk. She shot a quick look to Carol, who was calmly seated on the other side of the room. And then there was her own seat in front of Lori. Yet, she couldn't stop staring at her sister's friend.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Thank you Leni," Mrs. Barnes said warmly, "well I must say that time moves fast. The sale begins next Thursday, the day after Halloween. While we have collected quite a bit of clothes," she said. Leni briefly averted attention, preferring to look at the mountain of bags in the corner, "we can still get even more from kids' costumes. So if you have any family or friends that won't be needing their costumes after Wednesday, tell them they can send them on over here. Any questions?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Everyone sat silently. Looking at Carol, even she had nothing to say.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Great meeting everyone. Good luck on your collections," Mrs. Barnes finished.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The students collected their bags and got up. Some of them bunched together into clumps to converse about their after-school plans. Leni, though, walked across the room holding her unzipped bag in front of her, leaving Lori confused. She caught Carol before she could exit.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Here you go," Leni whispered as she discreetly pulled out a square wrapped package (with a paper attached to it) and handed it to Carol.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Before the girl could reply, Leni bolted out of the room, Lori being forced into the catchup role. Lori was baffled by her sister's especially clumsy, rapid movement. She gave a silent wave to Carol before power walking out the door to meet her younger sister.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What was that?" Lori asked, finally getting up to Leni's uneven pace.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Oh...um...Carol told me, like, something..." she said, her eyes staring at the exit towards the hall's end. While Lori was used to not having eye contact from her little sister, this was unusually deliberate. She immediately suspected that Leni was trying to lie to her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What did she say?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Her eyes bore into her sister as she witnessed her face mangle several different ways. They were almost at the door when she finally opened her mouth.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Um...I dunno."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori was mystified. After being caught so easily before, she supposed that Leni wouldn't even bother with fibbing. She was tempted to roll her eyes at how terribly, how forced, how flimsy this coverup was.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What did you give her anyway?" Lori demanded.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"It's...uh...a secret. I'll, like, tell you soon," Leni hastily responded.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">A surprise from Leni. Since when has she ever been able to provide one deliberately? No impulses, nothing that threw her off, no one there to spit it out of her. As they headed out into the cloudy sky, Lori asked herself if she was gonna ruin it. It wouldn't have been hard. Leni could have spat it out with a few additional questions and then felt bad about herself for not keeping a promise.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">But that wasn't the sister she wanted to be, or at least not at that moment. Leni could use this to make herself feel good. And besides, it could be fun for herself.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">So, with an eye roll, Lori silently continued the walk Joe with her sister.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni happily hummed a Rosy Cake song as she placed her crochet needles back in her had been an extra long Wednesday shift (finishing up for the start of tomorrow's sale, and other things), but she was still moving. Her body was full of life and her voice was just about ready to sing the entire Princess Pony soundtrack.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She held up her finished work. And it was just in time too. Bouncing out the room with her creation, she turned left and knocked on the bathroom door.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Okay, you can come out now!" Leni said, barely containing her excitment.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">From the other side of the door, she heard the sink running. For about two minutes, that was the only sound that made it out into the hall. She figured that would happen, given how Lori snagged her essential products from the bureau.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Eventually, the water ceased, however the door remained shut (and locked). Through the wood, her ears vaguely picked out incoherent mumbling. At first, she thought it was just Lori putting away her products and that her big presentation was just moments away. But soon, yet another minute passed with no emergence. Soft garbling continued to emanate from the room and Leni got concerned (and impatient).

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Rushing back to the room, Leni scrounged in her big sister's nightstand and pulled out a thin metal hairpin. Out of habit, she bent half of it and clasped it between her fingers, using it as a handle. Heading back, she bored her eyes at a small, narrow hole in the middle of the door knob. Leni knelt down and jammed the straight half into the hole. After minimal jiggling, she heard a click. That satisfying sound pleased her and she promptly swung the door open.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori, who was standing in front of the mirror, was startled. Her neck swiveled and upon seeing Leni (and the "key"), her face wrinkled.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What the heck?!" Lori exclaimed. To her, it didn't matter that she was already done with her makeup, "I was literally gonna be out in a minute! Why couldn't you have just waited?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Was she, though? That was an awful long time the sink was off and none of her products were in her hand (or open for that matter). Leni, though, was still ashamed at her lack of proper timing. She suddenly thought she was never able of choosing the right time, always opting at precisely the wrong one. While she was stuck in a trance, Lori swung her hand in front of her and snatched the clip she had been holding.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You broke it!" she added, holding up the bent half, "Why do you have to keep taking these? When will you learn to mind your own business?!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni stumbled back, propping up her creation with her Ducky arms. As a fuming Lori encroached upon her, she caught note of the object. It was a sky blue knit sweater big enough to hide her sister's torso. The stitches were tight, leaving the holes invisible from afar.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Here," Leni made out meekly, nudging the sweater forward. The connection was made silently, beneath the pressing issues and her frustration's smokescreen. Instinctively, she snatched it as well, the yarn bunches filling her claw. Its softness did little to alleviate anger's roaring wave. Leni, however, cowered in the face of her intense glare, and growl, as if she were a giant spider. By now, her Ducky arms were the only thing keeping her upright. Seeing that, she knew she couldn't yell at her anymore. What gain would have come out of smashing a glass plate? So instead, she cast her an eye roll and retreated to the bathroom, slamming the door.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">How foolish. Boorish and inconsiderate. Leni stumbled back to the room, too ashamed by the reminder of her latest blunder. Sitting on her bed, she tried breathing through her stuffed lungs, her mouth being a narrow straw. Her heavy head was leaning towards the floor. Everything plummeted just like that, all in the span of a simple click.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It was only now she remembered what Lori had told her before about her hair clips. So much for timing. And that fantasy of her making a grand presentation was long gone. At this point, she wouldn't blame Lori if she chucked that disgusting garb in the trash. Was she really gonna get attitude with her big sister for having done that, she demanded. She had hoped not. She wanted to at least salvage something from herself.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The door clicked. Leni's spine shot up, as if it were that whistle were blowing. As she expected, Lori entered with all her makeup essentials in a disorganized clump and the sweater hanging over her left shoulder. Once at the bureau, she dumped all of the containers on the surface, leaving an isolated clatter.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I'm sorry," Leni blurted out while her sister was still facing its mirror, "I really wanted to give you that sweater and, like, I got super worried wh-"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"It's fine, Leni," Lori replied lazily.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">That's it? No further rant about hair clips or privacy? Leni exhaled timidly, thankful that her sister wasn't staring at her. Her eyes were too scared to face the mirror, lest she face its reflection. Instead, she looked at her legs and raised a finger.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"So, like, what do you think of the sweater?" she asked.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori finally broke away from the bureau and gently slid the sweater with her hand. Now having calmed down, she could sense its light weight, homely look, soft touch. She found it a shame that she resorted to anger when presented with something as comfy as this. She smirked a little.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"It's pretty good, but why did you make this for me?" Lori asked. It was a genuine question. Her birthday and Christmas were still far out. And she already had a Halloween costume in place. It was an unusual gift.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Like, I wanted you to, like, wear it when Carol comes over," Leni answered. The cute image of Lori wearing something sky blue (her favorite color) made her giggle a little.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori, however, scoffed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You can't be serious," she snarked as she lifted her arm and readjusted her hand, letting the sweater hang like a banner, "we're just hanging out. It's nothing special."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">But Leni felt otherwise. Over the past month and a half, she had observed Lori when it came to Carol. Every day at lunch, she tried to catch to see where her sister sat. There were (many) days where Lori opted to sit with her established clique, which settled in a different part of the cafeteria. And on those occasions where she caught her with Carol, she pressed her about it, determined to squeeze every juicy detail. But now, here they were, when they would finally have a hang out. Even Leni knew that hang outs were something that friends did, a major milestone when it came to interactions. So what better way to celebrate than with a homemade sweater, a memento of the day Lori made a new bestie.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Please," Leni begged, "it would be really sweet! And, like, I think Carol would like it."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori noticed how Leni's eyes widened as she spoke. She couldn't help but be baffled. Leni was trying to give her a 'lost puppy' look. What was she getting at anyway?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You really think so?" she asked point blank. Lori wanted to express that those eyes, cute as they were, weren't the reason she was inquiring.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Yes! And you two will, like, look back on it and smile and stuff," she answered, smiling. And then she held up both her hands, "Please."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">By this point, Lori couldn't put up with it anymore. She stretched out the sweater and slipped it on over the shirt she was already wearing. It was a little tight on the arms, but everything else fit snuggly. How Leni was able to determine her size without a tape measure or question was beyond her. And once she saw Leni grinning from ear to ear, it didn't matter anymore.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Yay!" she exclaimed as she eagerly took out her phone. Leni flipped it up, perpendicular to the ground, and tapped her index finger on the circular button. A white light shone on its top for several seconds, went out briefly, and then blinked.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It was during all this that Lori realized what was going on. Sure it was annoying, but there was nothing to be gained by getting the photo blurry. Indeed, Leni stared at the screen and giggled.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori rolled her eyes. That laughter tickled her curiosity

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Give me that!" Lori said teasingly as she swiped the phone from her sister's loose grip. Holding up the screen, she saw herself dazzled. Most of her body came out decently, although her irises were grainy, oval blurs. It was far from her ideal appearance, but it wasn't like she looked ugly in that sweater. She guessed it was sorta cute.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Could you, like, text that to Carol?" Leni asked.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What?" Lori said, smiling a little, "It's your phone, so why don't you?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I don't know her number."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori's little smile faltered. What originally seemed like a strange request just amplified. Looking over the phone, Leni was still grinning. Did none of this faze her?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Leni," Lori said. She wasn't entirely sure what approach to use (tough love or concern), so her voice was wobbly. Thankfully, her sister nudged her head, a form of acknowledgement, "This whole time you've been wanting me to be friends with Carol and you didn't even get her phone number?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Her younger sister, though, simply shrugged, annoying Lori. It bugged her how out of sync Leni was much of the time. When it came to reactions, it was always either too much or too little. This binary approach, no matter what, ever seemed to hit the right mixture of emotion.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Don't you wanna be friends with Carol?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Yes," Leni said, "Carol is nice to me and you and she likes clothes."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It was a chipper, authentic response. Lori would have known if she was trying to weasel out of it. And perhaps because of that, all that was needed was a simple lesson. It wouldn't be the first time she stood there and passed insight down to her naive sister.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Oh Leni," she started, lightening her tone, "if you're gonna be friends with someone, you gotta get their number some time," and without an additional thought, Lori added, "that way you can stay connected. Does that make sense?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni nodded.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Good," Lori replied. Returning to the glowing screen, Lori tapped her thumb to the contacts menu, "Luckily I know her number, so I'll just put it in. And then when she gets here, you can give her your number."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Okay," was all she heard.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">But before tapping the 'Add Contact' button, Lori couldn't help but the list of existing contacts. She knew deep down it wasn't right for invading her sister's privacy, but the list was right in front of her in big black bold letters. How could she avert her gaze? Another inescapable feature was the sizable space of empty white occupying the vast bottom.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Dad

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Luan

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Luna

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Mom

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Pop Pop"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It was saddening, even with her extensive experience with Leni's habits. Glancing up, she saw her sister staring at the carpet below. Seeing these names made Lori want to say something, anything. Give her a lecture, interrogate, console, whatever it was. But no answers were clear, aside from one.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Her thumb rapidly tapped the button and she quickly filled in all of Carol's contact information. It made her glad she had the number memorized, lending itself to a speedy process. After clicking save, she casually handed over the phone. Leni stared at it and grinned once again. To Lori, that was all she needed. A happy face.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"She's gonna love this!" Leni exclaimed as her fingers maneuvered their way across the phone's keyboard.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Meanwhile, Lori decided to gaze at the mirror again, perhaps to keep Leni from getting suspicious. She postured herself into multiple stances (hands on the hips, arms folded, leaning forward and back), seeing how she passed off the unique outfit. It wasn't gonna be that hard putting up with Carol for a few hours, but having this comfortable sweater certainly was nice (and good looking).

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">The door knocked. Both their heads perked to the open door leading to the hallway. The phone and mirror quickly became ignored as the two headed out. For once, Lori let Leni take the charge, opting for her to feel accomplished and social. It was least she could do after being met with that barren contacts list. At the bottom, Leni flung open the door revealing Carol.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Lori didn't know what she expected. Carol stood tall in the doorway, sporting a sky blue knitted sweater. And then she remembered that package Leni handed Carol back on Thursday. As it all came together, she wanted to do something to Leni (call her out, laugh, use her fingers to indicate what she wa wearing). In the moment, though, she just blushed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hi Lori," she said, chuckling at the sight before her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Leni literally planned this."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Figures."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Carol's eyes shifted to Leni, whom she waved at fondly. Thankfully, the other Loud detected the message and mirrored that expression. As she did this, Leni saw the girl pull out her phone and present it to her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You planned a little surprise for us," she said, the screen open to the picture Leni took of Lori. Leni recognized the picture and admitted that it was a good shot she made. But what stuck with her more was the warm atmosphere Carol gave off (helping matters was the hint of perfume), "well you got me. I was really happy with what you did."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Um...thanks," Leni answered meekly. It wasn't that Carol scared her or that she wasn't proud of her work. She just didn't want to come across as annoying. She stood there are the two older girls followed each other up the staircase, intent on going to the bedroom.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni then remembered that tonight was Halloween. She knew she was getting too old to dress up, but she loved it. Every year, she always tried to get a colorful, lovely costume (whether it was at the store or from her sewing machine). This year, she opted to make herself a vibrant flamingo costume. It had been finished for weeks and was just sitting in the closet, waiting for her to pull it out.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Racing upstairs, she bolted into the room and spotted both girls sitting on Lori's bed as if it were a park bench. All she gave was a quick wave before ripping the neon pink garb off its coat rack. She didn't want to be too slow, lest she disrupt the atmosphere of friend making.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">With a hearty shut to the door, she thought she could slow down to take a breath. But her brother filled her eye's corner.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hey Leni. Did you finish it?" Lincoln asked.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Finish...what?" Leni pondered. She knew that tonight was Halloween, but there was too much going on for her to understand a moniker as vague as 'it'. It was a genuine question.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Our costumes. Clyde is gonna be over here in an hour," Lincoln replied.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">All of it came back. It hit her like a stack of bricks. She recalled how her little brother had reminded her on several occasions about Ace Savvy. The image of the drawing he gave her seared in her mind (it had been sitting in her drawer for well over a month). How did she let something in the realm of fashion slip her by? Her head lightened and her throat tightened. She couldn't even bear to look at his disappointed face.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I...um...forgot," Leni said sadly. Using her arms, she gave herself a hug, bracing herself for what would come next.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Really?!" Lincoln exclaimed, "But I wanted to be Ace Savvy! And now I don't have any costume!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She couldn't speak. The pit in her stomach deepened, forming a black hole. The horror of having to see her little brother's anger was unthinkable. Leni mentally slapped herself for her cowardice. Here, her own silly actions had angered two of her siblings, none of whom deserved it. And here she was, too afraid to face the music. She didn't deserve to speak, feeling it would have only made everything worse. At this point, Leni considered herself pretty good at messing things up for others.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You know there's the attic," she heard a voice. Knowing her family, she concluded it was Lynn, "There's all sorts of old costumes up there."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"But the rope is so high! I can't reach it!" Lincoln whined.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I got ya."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Leni stared at the bathroom door while her ears picked up the sound of footsteps and a massive swinging. Less than two seconds after, wood hit the carpet.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Knock yourself out," she heard Lynn say.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Her legs found a surge of energy and she paced into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She was kinda glad that Lori was away, otherwise she'd use one of her hairpins to break in.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She tried clearing her mind as she put on her costume. It was her first time wearing it, so her appendages had to drill through the scrunched, pressed fabric. This costume had taken about a month to complete and two whole trips to the mall. There was all sorts of weird materials used and excessive dollars spent, making her feel worse.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Once it was on, she checked herself out in the mirror. What a waste of time, she thought. The sewing was perfect, the seams were invisible, the feathers were secure, and the spandex was clean. She frowned as she remembered the drawing. That hunting she did for that light pink should have been for bold crimson. Mom's money shouldn't have gone to ticklish feathers, but a decent-looking mask. And the cape? With all the stuff already in her room, she could have cobbled something together.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Linky deserves better than you!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Slam. That must have been the attic ladder flipping back up. Through the door, she heard Lynn snickering.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"You look like a ragged carpet," she heard her say.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Hey! Oscar is all I could find up there, so he'll have to do," Lincoln said, clearly annoyed.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"And why do you have two?" at this point, the girl was laughing.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"This one's for Clyde! We'll be the Oscar twins!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">All she could hear from there was Lynn's sinister laughter. Thinking about how it was affecting her Linky only made Leni feel worse. Because of her absent-mindedness, she had ruined her special little guy's favorite night. She gripped the sink's rim and let her head sink. She didn't deserve this nice costume she made just for herself. Her eyes squeezed shut and her mind screamed at her.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What's wrong with you?! Do you think any friend is gonna want someone like that?!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I don't get it Lori."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Her eyes opened. Her head shot up. There was Carol's voice, through the bathroom wall. Lori had told her that it was wrong to eavesdrop, that in a House with limited privacy, what scraps one could get should be respected. But this conversation was right there, loud enough to break the thin layers separating the rooms. Rubbing her eyes, she staggered towards the corner and tried listening in.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I mean, it feels like you don't even want to accept me," she heard Carol say remorsefully.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What are you talking about? I've been hearing you, talking to you. Heck, I even put on this matching sweater just so Leni would be happy."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"But is that the only reason you're here with me?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Silence. Leni tucked her lips, trying to constrict her breath. Any whip of air, either through her mouth or nose, risked invading her hearing. By this point, she was too terrified to not know.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Well...she does like you. And thinks you're nice," Lori answered, sighing.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Again, I hate how I acted as a kid. I was selfish, vain, conceited. You say that I'm okay and stuff, but I can't help but feel that you don't mean it."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Leni would be fine if I chose not to forgive you. Besides, she shouldn't be worried about me."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"She's your sister! Of course she's gonna notice what you're up to."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Why was she so large of a topic? Leni thought these friends were supposed to be talking about each other. Besides, she didn't deserve their time.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Whatever," Lori said disinterested.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">A brief pause ensued.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Lori...are you just...nevermind."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"No, what is it?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">Another pause. By this point, Leni was basically holding her breath, cutting off all air.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Are you just...afraid of changing your mind?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"What?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"It's weird. It's like you're here with me, talking, giving me a chance because your sister talked you into it, wearing a sweater she made for us...but you still seem unhappy to be around me."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Well what do you want, for me to smile and be excited at every little thing you say?" Lori said incredulously. Leni, meanwhile, felt her heart racing from that comment.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"No," Carol replied meekly, "it's just, well, you seem to just brush me aside, as if you're only saying stuff so I'll leave you alone and...you can go back to Leni and tell her everything's alright."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Leni gets upset when people don't get along."

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"And I'm glad that you care about your sister. But I dunno...you seem uncomfortable when you're near me. Are you sure you really forgive me for all the stuff I've done?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Uh...yes," Lori said, hesitantly.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">A knock at the door. Leni nearly jumped out of her costume by the startling sound. Her tense, wavering eyes directed to the wooden door.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Leni, are you in there?"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">It was Mom. She must have picked up on how long she was in there. Leni felt bad, slamming her so-called "cry for attention".

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Y-Yeah Mom," she replied nervously.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"Well hurry up! We're about to go trick-or-treating!"

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">For a few seconds, her feet were glued to the tile. She wanted to keep listening, seeing what would become of the friendship. She wanted to know if she was a burden, an obligation that resulted in an unhappy union. But the persistent knocking propelled her from that spot, forcing her to stumble out the room and down the hall.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">She briefly stopped in front of her bedroom door and leaned her ear against it. She couldn't hear anything, worrying her. Her hand got an impulse urge to fly it open, so she could see their faces and get to the bottom of this.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">But would that really work?

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">How did she know that they weren't just gonna put on masks when she came in, smiling and telling her how nice her sweaters were. Only to give them more ammunition, reason to believe she's a bad thing rather than a source of encouragement for opening one's minds. And with that, she continued down the stairs, her mind burning with that question the whole time.

<p style="color:rgb(0,0,0);font-family:"TimesNewRoman";font-size:medium;font-weight:normal;">"I wonder if Linky likes Oscar."