User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: Missing Linc (Chapter 8)

Chapter 8: Schmoozing in the Ooze
Let me tell you something. I’ve been to my fair share of parties. That includes insane off-the-wall stuff that the ‘Rents would probably ground me for going to. But this? This doesn’t feel like any party I’ve ever been to. Granted, I wasn’t expecting much from a shindig being hosted at the sewage treatment plant, but I was at least expecting to see a party. Here? Nothing. Heck, I could still see factory workers doing their thing as Chandler led us through the plant. Do his folks even know he’s doing this?

We eventually reached a large room with pipes and catwalks weaving around the area. There were still workers walking around, but there were also a bunch of grade-schoolers dressed in hazmat suits and galoshes, just like the line outside. If this is where the party is, I’m not impressed. At least when Lori tried to throw that whole sophisticated shindig, she tried to give people stuff to do. Here? It’s just people standing around and talking. There isn’t even a proper spread; just a funky-looking punch bowl in the corner. Yeesh, it looks like Lana’s bathwater. At least, that’s what I’d imagine it would look like. Lana’s not exactly big on baths.

“You two just get yourselves situated,” said Chandler. “I’m gonna go check on the surprise.”

“Shouldn’t we come with you?” asked Luan. “I mean, this surprise is obviously part of the entertainment, and we were hired to entertain, so…”

Chandler gave Luan a look. “This surprise is for Larry and his friend. If you’re getting it for them, I can’t spoil it for you, now can I?”

“His friend?” I said. “You’re gonna have to be more specific, dude.”

“Ugh, his name’s on the tip of my tongue,” Chandler mused. “Clive or something.”

I’m just goin’ out on a limb here, but I think he means Clyde. What is it with this kid and not being able to remember people’s names?

“Look, it’ll be fun. I promise,” said Chandler. “I’ll be right back.”

Before we could say anything, he dashed off. I really don’t like this, but not much else to do at the moment. Might as well see who else decided to turn up to this clambake.

“Oi, Luna! That you, mate?”

I recognized the voice right away, and I almost couldn’t believe it. Why would she be here? I turned around and sure enough, there she was. Tabby, one of my best friends. She was waving us over. I turned to Luan.

“Don’t look at me; she’s your friend,” Luan said with a shrug.

Tch, weisenheimer. Alright, better go see what this is about.

“I’m actually kinda surprised, Tabs,” I said, walking over to her. “What’s a pretty little thing like you doing in a place like this?”

“Could ask ya the same thing, Lunes,” said Tabby dryly. “Me, I got dragged here by Liam.”

“Liam?”

“Your brother Lincoln set ‘im up with me at the Sadie Hawkins dance after, well, y’know,” said Tabby. She averted her gaze and squirmed uncomfortably. Yeah, in hindsight, that was a bit of a debacle. It’s not like I knew Luan, Lynn, and Lucy also set Lincoln up with a date for that dance. Ah well. No use dwelling on it.

“Really sorry about that, Tabby,” I said. “We were just trying to look after our bro, and we got in each other’s way.”

Tabby shook her head. “No worries, Luna. I’ve been goin’ steady with Liam for a while now. He’s a good mate.”  She wrinkled her nose and looked around. “Not sure about his taste is romantic locations for a date, though.”

Oof. Harsh. I wonder what Lori would say about this. I’ll admit, I’m no expert on this stuff. Heck, I’m just starting to open up to Sam.

“So, uh…  What’re you doin’ here?” Tabby asked.

Hmm. Should I or shouldn’t I? I don’t think Tabby would blow our cover, but I don’t wanna bring her down with out problems.

“It’s… complicated,” I said. “Let’s just say I wanna be here just as much as you do.”

“Ditto,” said Luan. “I don’t even know why Lincoln would want to be here.”

“Aw, Lincoln ain’t comin’? That’s a shame.”

I looked up to see who entered the conversation. I recognized him as one of Lincoln’s friends, but I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced. He had a bit of a rustic swagger to him, and he was holding two cups of the bathwater punch. Tabby turned and smiled.

“Ah, Liam. There you are,” she said, turning back to me. “Luna, this here’s Liam, the bloke I was just tellin’ you about.”

“Thought I recognized ya,” said Liam. “Didn’t know this was your kinda shindig.”  He then noticed Luan. “Why’s she dressed like one of them detective folk?”

I have a feeling we’re gonna be hearing that question a lot. Dang it, Luan. Sometimes, I just don’t know what to do with you.

“It’s actually why we’re here,” said Luan, blowing some bubbles out of her bubble pipe. “We thought you might be able to answer a few questions for us.”

I don’t know why I’m surprised by this. Luan has always been about as subtle as a metal riff in a marching band. Let’s just hope she can keep Chandler in the dark.

“Questions?” Liam said, tilting his head. “‘Bout what?”

Well, I doubt he’d know anything about Lincoln’s disappearance. Let’s start with our host.

“So, do you know this Chandler guy?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” said Liam. “He’s one of the toughest folk at our school. Real popular, too. I was lucky he even invited me here. I’m probably just some country nobody to him.”

Luan raised an eyebrow. “You do realize that he’s hosting this party at a sewage treatment plant, right? Why is everyone treating it like some exclusive club?”

Liam shrugged. “Can’t speak for the rest of the fellers, but I don’t mind the smell. Trust me, I’ve smelled a lot worse down on the farm.”

I’m having a hard time buying that. And I’ve smelled some pretty rank stuff in my lifetime, believe you me.

“From what I heard, that Chandler bloke’s really good at talking people into stuff,” said Tabby. “Don’t know much more than that; I never see him at school.”

Hmm. Sounds like a real huckster to me. Who else could convince a bunch of kids that partying at a sewage treatment plant is a good idea?

“I’ve actually never met this Chandler guy before today,” I said. “And Lincoln’s never mentioned him.”

“Not surprised,” said Liam. “He and Lincoln were on the outs for a while.”

Luan suddenly perked up. “They were? What do you mean?”

“Linc never told me the details, but it was something about Chandler used him for favors just so that he’d be invited to his birthday party.”

Bogus. I knew something about Chandler was off.

“But from what I heard, they made up last October,” Liam continued. “Or something. I dunno, Linc and Clyde just said they had a bunch of stuff to think about.”

Hmm. There’s more to this story here, but I don’t think Liam would know about it. Let’s shift gears a bit.

“So, what exactly is the occasion?” I asked.

“Dunno, to be honest with ya,” said Liam, scratching his head. “Might have something to do with the big Ace Savvy news, but that there was just a rumor up until last night.”

“Ace Savvy news last night, you say?” said Luan, stroking her chin thoughtfully. “What news are we talking about, exactly?”

Liam blinked. “Y’mean Lincoln didn’t tell ya?”

Welp, this is getting awkward. He doesn’t seem to know that Lincoln’s missing, and I don’t wanna scare him. But what do I say?

“Um, well, we aren’t huge Ace Savvy fans like he is,” I said with a shrug. “Maybe he just thought we wouldn’t be interested.”

“Y’all seem interested now,” said Liam, arching an eyebrow.

Luan frowned and started jabbing Liam with her bubble pipe. “Hey, we’re doing the interrogating around here, buster.”

Liam flinched. “Interrogatin’? I-I thought we were just havin’ a friendly conversation.”

I sighed and placed a hand on Luan’s shoulder. “Comin’ on a bit strong there, Lu’. Cool it.”

Luan let out a sigh of her own and nodded. “Right. Sorry, Liam. Things have been… kinda rough lately. I don’t wanna get into it.”

“Uh, sure. N-no problem,” said Liam, clearing his throat. He then smiled. “Anyway, this here’s bound to cheer ya up. Y’know that comic Lincoln and Clyde submitted to that contest?”

“Uh, yeah. What about it?”

“They’re makin’ a movie of it! I saw the trailer m’self just last night.”

…

Well, that’s just ruddy fantastic, innit? Lincoln gets probably some of the best news in his life, and right after that, he gets nabbed. I really wish I could be happy for him, but all can think about is just how… unfair this whole ruddy mess is. I swear, when I get my hands on the prat that hurt him, I’m gonna…

“Huh, wow. That’s pretty neat. I never would’ve pictured that happening,” Luan said with a laugh. “Get it?”

The bad pun was enough to snap me out of it, and I think that was Luan’s intention. Guess her comedy's good for something. Okay, deep breaths, Luna. Don’t fall apart now. You gotta be strong. Gotta be iron like a lion in Zion.

“Sorry ‘bout that,” I said. “I’m still not used to this… place.”

“I’m right there with ya, Lunes,” said Tabby. She then smiled. “Still, that movie news is pretty sweet. Give Lincoln my congrats when you see him, yeah?”

“S-sure. Will do,” I said weakly.

Luan blew a few more bubbles out of her bubble pipe. “Chandler said he had some sort of surprise for Lincoln at this party. Do you think the movie has something to do with that?”

“Maybe,” said Liam with a shrug. “Like I said, it was only a rumor until the trailer came on last night.”

Well, if Chandler is a fan of Ace Savvy like Lincoln, then the pieces do line up. But there’s still the little matter of his history with Lincoln. Honestly, at this point, it could go either way. We’re gonna have to do some more digging.

“Does anyone else here know Chandler personally?” I asked.

“Oh, sure. Plenty of folks do,” said Liam. “Mostly the more popular kids.”

Ah. He’s one of those guys, isn’t he? You know the type; the guys who surround themselves with suck-ups and pick on anyone who isn’t part of their little clique. Man, I can’t stand people like that.

“Well, if the host himself isn’t gonna give me any direction, I guess we’ll have to ask his friends,” Luan huffed. “Pleasure talking to you two.”

“Direction?” Tabby asked.

“Long story,” I said. “We’ll catch ya later, Tabs. Peace.”

We then moved off.

“How curious,” Luan mused, blowing bubbles from her bubble pipe. “The more I hear about Chandler, the less I like him. But almost everyone here thinks he’s the bee’s knees.”

“Preachin’ to the choir there, Luan,” I said. “I’m also starting to think that this might be a waste of time. Lincoln’s clearly not here, and no one here seems to know what happened to him.”

Luan opened her mouth to reply, but she suddenly stopped in her tracks and held up her arm. I looked ahead to see what got her attention. Up on the catwalk above us, three kids seemed to be having an argument. I recognized one of them as Rusty Spokes, another one of Lincoln’s friends, but I didn’t know the other two. One of them was a pudgy kid with brown hair; the second was a thin kid with freckles thick brown bangs that covers his eyes. I tuned out the rest of the noise around me to listen in.

“I can’t believe you two!” Rusty scolded. “How could you do this?!”

“Why do you care? You left the gang ages ago,” said the pudgy kid.

“I care because you’re hurting my friends!” Rusty barked.

The freckled kid scoffed. “And here I thought we were your friends, Spokes.”

“Friends don’t turn on their leader like this,” Rusty snarled. “Whatever happened to us following Lynnsanity?”

Lynnsanity? Is he talking about Lynn? When did he ever call her that?

“Lynnsanity’s old news, Spokes. Get with the times,” said the pudgy kid. “We got a good deal for this job, and that’s all that matters.”

Huh. Is it just me, or did he sound… scared? What job were they talking about? Did it have to do with Lynn? Rusty grabbed the pudgy kid by the collar and hefted him up.

“Mark my words, Papa Wheelie. When word gets out about this, you and Flat Tire are gonna be in so much trouble,” he vowed.

The freckled kid laughed. “It’s your word against ours, Spokes. Besides, don’t you have other things to worry about? Like that hand-me-down-riding wimp disappearing?”

Hand-me-down-riding wimp? Is he talking about Lincoln? How does he know about that? I’m thinking Luan and I should cut in on this dance. I was about to make my way to the catwalk when Luan stopped me. She took out a magnifying glass and knelt down. What is she doing?

“Luan, we’ve got a big lead here,” I hissed through gritted teeth. “Why aren’t we seeing it through?”

“Elementary, my dear Luna,” Luan said with a wink. “There’s a clue here that can’t be overlooked.”

Ugh~. I’m starting to think Luan put on that detective outfit just to annoy me. She always knows how to press my buttons. I then noticed that she had a piece of paper in her hand, and she was looking at it through the magnifying glass. I snagged a peek over her shoulder.

“It’s blank, brah,” I said dryly. “Must’ve been a piece of garbage someone had in their pockets.”

“I’m not so sure,” said Luan. “It looks too neatly folded to be garbage. I’ll bet you anything this was written in invisible ink.”

Invisible ink? When did this turn into a spy movie? Before I could ask anything else, a siren sounded. Everyone turned to the source of the sound. There stood Chandler, holding a megaphone and flanked by his flunkies.

“Cooties and germs, and stink-seekers of all ages! Thank you all for coming!” he proclaimed.

Oh, he thinks he’s cute, too. I’m starting to see why Lincoln turned down this guy’s invitation.

“We’ve got a very special party planned for you today!” Chandler continued. “It’s in honor of two very special friends of mine who are about to become the most famous kids in Royal Woods! That’s right, punks! The Full House Gang is being made into a movie!”

Several kids cheered. Some of Chandler’s fans looked indifferent, but they simply shrugged and applauded as well. Sounds like Liam was right on the money. This party was for Lincoln.

“Unfortunately, Larry himself couldn’t make it today,” said Chandler. “So instead, we’re gonna honor his sisters! Presenting the Night Club and the Joker!”

He pointed to us as he said that. Looks like he’s up on his Ace Savvy lore, at least. The Night Club and the Joker are mine and Luan’s characters in the Full House Gang comic. I’m still not convinced this party is on the level, though. Not until I find out more about his history with Lincoln.

“And now, a special surprise for our guests of honor!” said Chandler. “They will be the first to enter our special pit for high-volume waste! Get these two some galoshes, ‘cause it’s time to party!”

Wait, what? That was his surprise? And is that supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing? I still can’t tell. Before I knew it, several kids swarmed around us and shoved galoshes onto our feet. I saw Tabby and Liam in the crowd.

“You two are mighty lucky,” said Liam. “Not every day kids get to romp around in that place.”

Yeah, for good reason. Now I’m really wondering if Chandler’s parents know about this. If they do, how could they think that this is okay?! I looked over at Luan.

“We gotta do this for Lincoln,” Luan whispered. She stuffed the paper she picked up into her pocket. “But I’m with you; this whole thing smells like a whale ate a bunch of Lori’s bean chips, crawled into Lily’s diaper, and pulled off a dutch oven. And then he died. Like a year ago.”

“Are you talking about swimming through sewage, or whatever Chandler’s scheme is?” I asked.

Luan paused to think. “I dunno. I got so caught up in the simile that I lost the plot entirely. Then again, I’m always losing stuff. After all, you say I’ve lost my marbles a long time ago, and I still haven’t found those ding-dang things!”

She laughed at her own joke. Personally, I don’t think the setup was worth the payoff. Still, looks like we’re gonna have to play along if we wanna find out more. Okay, Luna. Remember: Iron, lion, Zion. Iron, lion, Zion. This is for Lincoln. We gotta save him.

…

I still can’t believe I’m about to do this, though. Man, I’d give anything to trade places with Lana right about now…

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