User blog:Thomperfan/Snow Way Down/Out (my version)

(It starts on a snowy road. Just then an SUV drives by.)

Me, Lincoln and McBrides: "♫Dashing through the snow / In a luxury SUV / We're making us some time / Because we stopped to pee, hey!♫" [laugh]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "This is great! My first ever vacation with Clyde and his dads! And if it's anything like their souffles, it's going to be awesome! Oh, and Nolan came too."

Me: [notices something] "Whoa. What is that?"

[We're driving by an old ski ramp.]

Harold: "Oh, that's the Ramp of Insanity. It's a near-vertical drop where you can reach speeds of 100 miles an hour, then get launched 5,000 feet in the air!"

Lincoln: "Sweet! Do we get to go on it?"

[Howard gasps and passes out.]

Harold: "And that is why I'm doing the driving. Lincoln, let me translate for Howard: no."

Clyde: "Don't worry, guys. We have tons of other fun stuff to do." [rubs smelling salts in front of Howard's face.]

Howard: [comes to and stammers] "What happened?"

Clyde: "You passed out when we asked about the Ramp of Insanity."

Howard: [scared] "The Ramp of Insanity?" [passes out again]

[They arrive at the cabin.]

Howard: "Here we are!"

Lincoln: [leaps out] "Woo-hoo! Race you to the front door!" [starts to run]

Harold: [grabs Lincoln] "Ah, ah, ah. Hold on."

[Clyde's dads clear the way with salt and a snow mower.]

Clyde: "My dads don't want us to slip on the ice."

Lincoln and I: "Ah."

[They enter the cabin]

Lincoln: "Ah. Nice." [tries to rush in]

Harold: [grabs Lincoln] "Ah, ah, ah! Hold on."

[Now they're polishing the floor.]

Harold: "Now we're good."

Clyde: "My dads don't want us to get splinters."

Lincoln and I: "Ah."

[The three of us run out of the cabin and cheer.]

Clyde: "So, what should we do first? Go sledding?"

Me: That is a great idea!

Lincoln: "I'll grab Big Red II!"

Howard: [grabs them] "Ah, ah." [dresses us up in warmer winter clothes.] "There. Now we're good."

Clyde: "My dads don't want us to get frostbite."

Me: I see.

[We waddle do the door and Lincoln can't reach his arm out to the handle due to his parka.]

Clyde: "Here. I've had a lot of practice with this." [opens the door with his teeth]

Me: "But wait. What if we have to pee?"

Clyde: "Not a problem. Just give me 15 minutes notice."

[Out in the snowy hills.]

Lincoln: "Pilot to co-pilots, we are ready for launch!"

[We're about to go down when Clyde's Dads appear at the base.]

Howard and Harold: "Ah, ah!"

[Now all the trees have mattresses tied to them.]

Howard: "Good thing we found that clearance sale on mattresses."

Harold: [wrapping Lincoln and Clyde up in bubble wrap.] "And on bubble wrap. Now we're good."

Lincoln: "Okay...well, this is still gonna be fun. Here we go! Whee!" [doesn't even get the sled budging]

Me: Hey, why are we not moving?!

Harold: "Oh, we called ahead and asked the groundskeeper to level the hillside."

Clyde: "My dads don't want us to break our necks."

''[Lincoln and I sigh. Snowball fight.]''

Lincoln: "Watch out, Clyde! I'm gonna show you no mercy!"

Clyde: "Well, I'm gonna show you even less! Unless you want me to, in which case I totally will."

Lincoln: "Okay, whatever."

Me: Well, I’m gonna show BOTH of you the least thing from mercy you’ve ever seen!

Lincoln: Yeah, sure you will, Nolan.

Me, Lincoln and Clyde: "Ready, aim, fire!" [toss our snowballs]

Howard and Harold: [in slow motion] "NOOOOOO!!!" [take the snowball hits and thud.]

Lincoln: [facepalms] "What are you-what?"

Clyde: "My dads don't want us to end up in the hospital because of an ice ball to the head."

''[Lincoln and I grunt in frustration. The 3 of us are in the cabin reading comic books.]''

Howard: "Who wants hot chocolate?" [offers us some]

Lincoln: "Ooh, I do!"

Clyde: "Me too, please!"

Me: Me three!

Howard: "Here you go, boys. Enjoy."

[We take the mugs and sip.]

Lincoln: [stops sipping] "Um, this is kind of cold."

Clyde: "Yeah, my dads don't want us to scald the roofs of our mouths."

Me: Um, I’m no expert, but isn’t the point of hot chocolate to be hot.

Lincoln: [groans] "Clyde, permission to speak freely?"

Clyde: "Granted."

Lincoln: "Look. Your dads are awesome, but this trip has made me and Noah realize that they are really overprotective."

Me: Really REALLY overprotective.

Clyde: "Yeah, maybe a little, but they're just looking out for me."

Me: "CLYDE! You are wearing a seatbelt on the couch! The couch!”

Clyde: "My dads don't want me to get injured in an earthquake. We are only three states away from a fault line."

[Beat of realization]

Clyde: [realizes] "Holy shamoly! You're right, Lincoln! This is..." [unbuckles his sofa seat belt] "...crazy! I'm gonna talk to my dads right now!"

Lincoln and I: "Go get 'em, buddy."

[The guest room]

Clyde: [opens the door] "Dads, do you have a second?"

Howard: [still polishing the floor] "Sure. What's up, peanut?"

Harold: "Howard! We agreed we wouldn't call him that in case he develops a peanut allergy someday."

Howard: "What's up, uh...apple slice?" [worried] "Was the cocoa too hot? I knew I should have put in more ice cubes!"

Clyde: "That's exactly what I wanna talk about. I think...I think you guys are too overprotective."

[His dads gasp]

Clyde: "With the couch seat belts, and the tree mattresses, and the bubble wrap..."

[They gasp again]

Clyde: "I'm not a little kid anymore. I can take care of myself. You don't have to worry about me so much."

Harold: "Worry? We don't worry."

Howard: [gets out his phone] "I'm scheduling a group session with Dr. Lopez. We have to talk about this." [speed dials her]

Clyde: "No. You don't need to call Dr. Lopez. You just need to let go a little bit."

Harold: "What do you think, Howie?"

Howard: [teary-eyed] "Well, maybe we could try." [sobs and hugs Harold]

Harold: "I agree."

Clyde: "You guys are the best. Thank you." [leaves]

Howard: [dialing Dr. Lopez] "I'm still calling Dr. Lopez. Just for me."

[The boys are up on the highest hill.]

Clyde: "Okay, buddy, now the fun really begins."

Me: Thank goodness.

Lincoln: "I'll sled to that."

[We fist bump and start sledding down the hill.]

Lincoln: "Yahoo!"

Clyde: "Faster! Faster!"

''[Just then, the sled beeps and unleashes a grappling hook that latches onto the hill, leaving us puzzled. It's revealed that Harold pushed a button to make the hook go off.]''

Me: Hey! What gives?!

Harold: "I'm so sorry. That wasn't supposed to happen."

Clyde: [sternly sarcastic] "Well, that's a relief."

Harold: "It was supposed to be a parachute."

Clyde: "Dads, you said you were going to let go."

Howard: "We're sorry, Clyde. We're just not there yet."

Harold: "It's a dangerous world and we don't think you're ready to face it on your own."

Clyde: "I disagree."

Howard: "Why don't we revisit this in another decade?"

''[Clyde stomps off irritated as the camera pans to the Ramp of Insanity. The next day, Howard screams, waking up and startling Lincoln who falls out of bed.]''

Lincoln: [in slight pain] "I should have buckled up." [rushes to the main room and slips on the floor.] "Whoa! Smooth floors!" [crashes] "Oof! What's going on?"

(Just then I come sliding in on the floor.)

Me: Wheee! (I bump into the wall) What’s up guys?

[Howard stammers and flails his arm while holding something and faints.]

Harold: "Let me translate for Howard: Clyde's in mortal danger!"

Lincoln: "What?"

Harold: "We found this note from him when we woke up." [gives it to Lincoln]

Lincoln: [reading the note] "Dear dads, I'm off to sled the Ramp of Insanity. I hope this will prove to you that I'm capable of taking care of myself. Love, Clyde. Oh, no! What have I done?!"

Me: What have WE done?!

Harold: "What do you mean?"

Lincoln: "Well, after the buffed floors and the couch seatbelt and everything, we kind of told him you guys were too overprotective.

Me: We’re sorry Mr. Harold. We didn't think he'd take it this far."

Harold: "It's okay, Lincoln. Just don't tell Howard."

Howard: [comes to and grunts] "Tell me what?"

Harold: [casually] "Uh, nothing." [chuckles] "Let's just focus on stopping Clyde before he-"

Howard: [latches onto Harold, scared] "Don't finish that sentence!" [sobs]

Lincoln: "Don't worry, Mr. McBrides. I got this." [breaks out his walkie-talkie] "Clyde, do you copy?" [he says with an echo nearby.] "Wait! He's still in the house somewhere!" [they rush to the bedroom but don't find him there.] "Oh. He just left his walkie-talkie behind."

Me: Dang it!

[Howard whimpers]

Harold: [hushes Howard] "Come on. We're going to the Ramp of Insanity!”

[They arrive at the ramp.]

Howard: "There he is! I see him!"

Harold: "Clyde, honey, don't do it! Just climb back down!"

[No response or action]

Harold: "Oh, Howie, he must be paralyzed with fear."

Howard: [admittedly] "He gets that from me."

Lincoln: "Me and Nolan will just have to go up and get him."

Harold: "No no no. We'll go, boys. I don't want you getting hurt."

Lincoln: "No. We have to go.

Me: Yeah! Clyde is our best friend, and we’re not just gonna stand here while he-"

Howard: [scared] "Don't finish that sentence!" [cries]

Harold: "Okay, we'll all go up, but very carefully."

[We reach the ramp's ladder.]

Harold: "I hope this thing is safe."

Lincoln: "I'm sure it's fine. There'd be a sign if it wasn't."

''[Signs that say Stay off, condemned, and a picture of a man climbing being crossed off appear from under the snow. Lincoln and I start climbing anyway and they reach the top.]''

Lincoln: "We're here, buddy. You're safe. Everything's going to be-" [comes across a minimum height sign that says YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO PUT YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE] "...okay?"

Howard: "That's just an old sign! WHERE'S MY BABY?!"

''[The wind blows the sign down the ramp which launches it into a nearby snowdrift, shattering it. This causes the dads to scream.]''

Howard: [hysterical] "My baby could be lying injured in a ravine somewhere. We need to get off this thing and find him."

[As they approach the ladder, it breaks.]

Lincoln, Howard, Harold and I: "WE'RE TRAPPED!"

["Trapped" echoes through the air and Clyde arrives back at the cabin.]

Clyde: "Whew. Cold." [sees no one there] "Dads? Lincoln? Nolan? Hello?" [finds his walkie talkie and calls Lincoln.] "Lincoln, come in. This is-"

Lincoln: [picks up] "Clyde! You're okay!"

Harold: [takes the walkie] "Where are you, son? Did you go down the ramp?"

Howard: "Sweetie, did you break anything? Can you wiggle your toes? Stay still! Don't move your head!"

Clyde: "Guys, I'm fine. I didn't go down the ramp."

Harold: "You didn't?"

Clyde: "Oh, heck no. I got there and realized you guys are right. That thing is dangerous, so I turned around and went back home."

Howard: "Oh, thank goodness."

Harold: "That was good judgment, son."

Clyde: "So, where are you guys?"

Lincoln: "Uh...funny story."

Me: HELP! WE’RE STUCK ON TOP OF THE RAMP OF INSANITY AND WE CAN’T GET DOWN!!

[Clyde arrives at the ramp.]

Clyde: "Guys! I'm here!"

Harold: "Clyde! Did you call the ranger?"

Clyde: "I did, but I got his voicemail!"

Howard: "What?! Harold, our next vacation is Chicago, not the sticks."

Clyde: "Don't worry! We don't need the ranger, 'cause I'm rescuing you!"

Harold: "Oh, no you're not! Go back and call the fire department, or-or the police department, or Nana Gayle, but you are not coming up here!" [falls through a floorboard and Lincoln, Howard and I pull him up.] "Okay, come up here. But please be careful."

Clyde: "I'm gonna say this one last time." [takes off his hat and puts on a helmet.] "Don't worry."

[He grabs a grappling hook from his bag and latches it onto a snowdrift.]

Howard: "Oh, I can't look." [covers his eyes]

Me: "Clyde! What about your crippling fear of heights?"

Clyde: [climbing] "I was trying not to think about that!"

Me: "Okay, sorry! Forget I mentioned it!"

Clyde: "It's okay. I'm just trying to concentrate." [goes to a tree]

Harold: "Honey, if you're thinking of climbing that tree, don't forget about your sap allergy."

Clyde: "I took my pills. For gosh sakes." [starts climbing]

Harold: [worried] "Oh, this is too much. Now I can't look." [covers his eyes]

Howard: "I still can't."

Lincoln: [covers his eyes] "You guys are rubbing off on me."

Me: (covering MY eyes) Me too.

[Clyde gets to the end of the tree, ties a rope to it, and slides down it to the top of the ramp; he and his dads hug.]

Harold: "That was very brave, son. Even if it took five years off my life."

Clyde: "We're not out of the woods yet." [takes out his sled] "Let's ramp this up!"

[The ramp starts to break]

Clyde: "Quickly, everybody, get on. There's only one way down." [his dads aren't sure] "You're just gonna have to trust me. Hurry!"

[His dads, Lincoln and I get on.]

Clyde: "Hold onto your butts."

Me, Lincoln, Howard and Harold: "Way ahead of you."

[We push off and shoot down, all screaming and launch off into the air.]

Harold: "Since this is the end, there's something I need to tell you. I never liked your beef bourguignon!"

Howard: "I don't go to the gym when I say I do. I go to the doughnut shop."

[The dads, Lincoln and I all continue screaming and Clyde activates a parachute for the sled for a nice slow descent.]

Harold: "A parachute. Good thinking, Clyde."

Clyde: "I got the idea from you."

[We land safely]

Howard: "Honey, we owe you an apology. You obviously can take care of yourself."

Clyde: "Well, it's all 'cuz of you guys. You taught me to always be prepared."

Harold: "From now on, we promise not to be so overprotective. And this time, we mean it."

[They hug it out]

Clyde: "Thanks. I'm lucky to have dads like you."

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "I'll give them a little privacy."

Me: (to Lincoln) Good idea, Linc.

McBrides: [grabs me and Lincoln] "Get in here, you two." [pulls us in for the hug]

Me, Lincoln and McBrides: "Hugs!"

Howard: "Come on. Let's head back to the cabin for some actual hot cocoa."

Clyde: [excited] "Really?"

Howard: "Well, hot-ish." [to Harold] "So, what was that you were saying about my beef bourguignon?"

Harold: "I can't remember because I'm still wondering why we bother paying for a gym membership."

Howard: "Touché."

LATER

Harold: "Okay, Howie, ready to let go?"

Howard: [sighs] "Ready as I'll ever be."

Harold: "Man, we are fantastic parents."

[Lincoln, Clyde and I are up on the hill.]

Clyde: "Pilot to co-pilot, we are ready for launch. Now the fun really, really begins."

Me: Thank the lord.

Lincoln: "I'll sled to that!"

[We fist bump and sled down.]

Clyde: "All right!'

Me: Yay!!

Lincoln: "Yahoo!"

Clyde: "Faster! Faster!"

[We fly off an alcove, crash and laugh.]

Lincoln: "That was awesome!"

Clyde: "Let's go again!"

Me: Yeah!

Harold: [laughs] "Looks like we're getting the hang of not being so overprotective, huh, Howie?" [sips his cocoa and gets no response] "Howie?" [sees Howard fainted again] "I'll get the smelling salts."

7 DAYS LATER

(Me, Lincoln and the McBrides are packing up and getting ready to head back home.)

Me: Best, Vacation, Ever!

Lincoln: Agreed. (to Clyde) You and your dads have to let us know when you decide to go on another vacation.

Clyde: Don’t worry, we will.

Harold: OK, boys, get in! Time to go!

(Me, Lincoln and Clyde get in the SUV and we drive off.)

Lincoln: Oh, don't forget, Nolan, your spending the weekend at my house.

Me: Oh right! I can’t wait!

A FEW DAYS LATER

''[The Loud House at a snowy weather on the outside. Inside the house, Leni turns on her dryer and points it to a pot of goulash, as her way of defrosting it.]''

Leni: "Dinner's almost ready, guys!"

[The camera zooms out, showing the Loud siblings (except Lana and Lily) watching what Leni is doing.]

Lincoln: "Uh, Leni, what are you doing?"

Leni: "Defrosting the goulash Dad left us."

Lori: "Maybe you should try the stove."

Leni: "Good idea. I was worried this would give goulash split-ends, anyway."

(Just then the siblings hear the doorbell and go to see who it is. They open the door to reveal it’s me with my overnight stuff.)

Me: Hey, guys!

(Lincoln and his sisters say hi and invite me in.)

Lincoln: We’re so glad you could spend the weekend with us, Nolan.

Me: Thanks, I’m glad I could too.

Leni: Ooooh, Noey! You’re just in time! I was just defrosting some goulash for dinner tonight!

Me: Oh. Goulash. (nervously) How appetizing.

Lana: "Forget the goulash! My favorite race car driver Bobbie Fletcher is holding a contest tonight at the Burpin' Burger!" [fantasy of Lana winning the wrapper appears.] "Whoever finds a burger with a tire mark wrapper gets to be an honorary member of her pit crew!"

Bobbie: [in Lana's imagination, opens the window of her car and the window of her racing helmet.] "I see you got the winning wrapper! Welcome aboard, Lana!"

''[Lana, in a racing outfit, holds a burger wrapper with tire tracks that reads WINNER. End fantasy with Lana in the same pose.]''

Lana: "I know what you're gonna say. Mom and Dad left us plenty of food to eat while they're away for the weekend, but-"

''[The horn on Vanzilla honks. Lana notices her siblings and I left and are now in the car.]''

Lincoln: "You had us at "Burpin' Burger"!"

Me: But we're also going because we want to help you win that contest!

Lana: [eagerly grabs her coat] "HOPS! JACKET JUMP!"

[Hops hops right into Lana's jacket and winks at Lana.]

Lana: [rushes out the door] "Whoo-hoo! Yeah!"

Lisa: "Siblings, and Nolan, I'd like to call your attention to the rapidly descending ice crystals, street name, snow!"

Lana: "Fine, Lis. You can stay here and eat the goulash."

Lisa: "I call shotgun!" [rushes in]

''[Burpin' Burger. Lori parks Vanzilla and the 12 of us get out to the promotion stand.]''

Announcer: "Please welcome racing champion, Bobbie Fletcher!"

''[Bobbie's car comes up onto the stage with the crowd cheering. She gets out and takes off her helmet.]''

Lana: "Yes!"

Lola: "There she is!"

Bobbie: "Thanks for coming out, racing fans! I wanna give a huge thanks to my sponsor, Burpin' Burger. Let me tell ya, you can't get past the starting line without quality fuel, and mine is right here." [holds up a burger] "The Big Belcher with extra pickles." [takes a bite]

[The crowd cheers some more.]

Bobbie: "I can't wait to have one of you folks on my pit crew. All you gotta do is find the burger wrapper that looks just like this." [holds up the wrapper with tired tracks that reads WINNER] "Ladies and gentlemen, start your stomachs!" [waves the green flag]

[A horn blares and the crowd rushes into the restaurant, but Flip cuts right to the front.]

Flip: "Give me a dozen burgers, and try to make one of them the winner!"

Employee: "A dozen? Wow. You must really want to be on that pit crew."

Flip: [sarcastic] "Oh, yeah. Bippity Fletchman, huge fan."

Employee: "Actually, her name is-"

Flip: "Don't care! Just gonna sell the winning wrapper to some sucker for big bucks."

[The employee brings him his burgers.]

Flip: "Come to Flippy!" [starts opening up his wrappers.]

Lana: [begging with her fingers crossed] "No wrapper, no wrapper, no wrapper."

Flip: "Dang it! All losers! Keep those burgers cookin', slim, 'cuz I'll be back for more once I scratch up some moolah." [leaves]

[The Loud Kids and I are next.]

Lana: "We'd like eleven Big Belchers and one Baby Belcher, please."

Employee: "Okay, that'll be $25."

Lana: "Uh, don't worry, guys. I got this." [rummages through her pocket and picks out a gross wad with a bunch of stuff stuck to it.] "Let's see. My gum collection...banana peel...owl's foot...ah, here it is." [gives the employee a coupon]

Employee: "Oh. One of our Kids Eat Free coupons. Great." [beat] "Wait. Did you just say owl's foot?"

Luan: "Yeah! Isn't she a hoot?" [laughs]

Employee: [unimpressed] "Next."

[Me and the others are waiting and Lana brings them their burgers.]

Lana: "Alright, guys, dig in."

''[The 12 of us chow down on our burgers. When we finish, Lana looks for the wrapper, but none of them are the one.]''

Leni: "Sorry we didn't find the winning wrapper, Lana."

Me: Yeah, don’t worry, Lans. There’ll be other chances.

''[Hops wipes a tear from Lana with his tongue. Lisa is observing the snow.]''

Lisa: "The frozen precipitation is accumulating rapidly. I suggest we skedaddle."

Lana: "Wait! Don't you guys want another round?"

Lynn: [astonished] "We can have seconds?"

Lincoln: "How are we gonna pay for it?"

[Lana peeks out from behind the trash bin and notices the coupon still jutting out from the register.]

Lana: "Hops. Sticky snag."

[Hops grabs the coupon with his tongue.]

Lana: [snatches it] "Bull's eye." [goes to the counter] "I'll take 12 more burgers, please. And I have another coupon." [gives it to the employee.]

Employee: [groans with the coupon stuck to his hand.] "Why is it so sticky?"

''[Lana and Hops wink. Another round of burgers later, everyone except Lana looks queasy from eating their seconds. Lola belches.]''

Lana: "Ugh. Still nothing. We have to order more burgers!"

Lisa: "Uh, in light of the worsening meteorological conditions..." [burps] "...perhaps we should follow the lead of the other patrons and amscray."

[The others are leaving]

Hefty Blonde: "Come on. Hurry, hurry, hurry."

Unknown Woman: "I do not like the look of that sky."

Lana: "Oh, let them leave. That'll make our chances even better. Come on, you guys, one more round."

[The others groan in nausea.]

Lincoln: [queasy] "I can't eat anything else."

Me: (queasy) So… Full…

Luan: [nauseated] "I can't even joke about burgers right now."

Lana: "You don't have to eat 'em. Hops and I will take them home for breakfast."

[Hops burps and the others sigh.]

Lana: "Great. Be right back. Don't move." [grabs Hops and steps on Leni's legs out of the booth to the dumb blonde's shock.]

''[Lana is behind the bin again and the coupon is still jutting out. Hops fires his tongue, but this time, the employee puts a meal on the counter, causing his tongue to hide the shake dispenser, pouring shake on the floor and making the employee slip and fall.]''

Lana: "Let's try that again, buddy."

[Hops lands his tongue on the coupon this time, but the employee grabs it.]

Employee: "Hey, you little sneak!" [tears up the coupon] "You want more burgers, you gotta pay for them!"

Lana: [nervous] "Okay, um, not a prob." [gathers up loose change under the booths, in the potted plants plus a worm for Hops, under the table with some gum, and in the ball pit; pours little change and some junk on the counter.] "12 more burgers, please."

Employee: [grossed out] "Jeez." [reaches for one of the pieces of junk.]

Lana: [grabs it] "Whoops. That's my chicken beak."

[The employee, disgusted, takes the rest, puts it in the register, and gives Lana the burgers.]

Employee: "Are you guys almost done? I wanna get outta here. I rode my bike to work."

Lana: "Don't worry. We'll be leaving soon. I got a great feeling about this batch."

[All the wrappers are unwrapped.]

Lincoln: "Sorry, Lana. I don't have it."

Luna: "Me neither, dude."

Luan: "Same here. I guess that's a wrap!" [laughs and realizes the bad timing.] "Oh. Sorry."

''[Only one wrapper left. Lana opens it up, and it's not the winner.]''

Lana: [heartbroken] "Dang it. I guess I'm not gonna be on Bobbie Fletcher's pit crew."

Me: (trying to comfort her) It’s okay, Lana. You will be on Miss Fletcher’s pit crew one day. Just not today.

Leni: [grossed out] "Ew. Someone wrapped my burger in this dirty old rag."

[She's actually holding the winning wrapper.]

Lana: [overjoyed] "LENI! YOU FOUND IT! YOU FOUND IT!" [takes it and laughs]

Me: (hugs Leni) Great job, honey!

Employee: "Finally." [puts on his helmet and closes up the counter.]

Lana: [laughs some more] "Finding this wrapper means the world to me. Thanks for all your help, guys."

Me: No problem, Lans. It was our pleasure.

Lynn: "Alright, now let's get home so I can let 'em rip in privacy."

Lucy: [gags; to Luna and Luan] "Can I bunk with you guys tonight?"

''[They're about to leave. Leni opens the door and walks into some white stuff, making her siblings and I gasp.]''-

Leni: "Oops. This must be the closet where they keep their snow."

Me: Uh, Leni, that’s not a closet.

Lincoln: Nolan’s right. We’re snowed in.

[Outside shows that they are indeed trapped.]

Luna: "Aw, man. Are we gonna be stuck here all night?"

Employee: [devastated] "No! I just worked a 12-hour shift! I can't take another second in this greasy dungeon!"

''[He tries to cycle his way through the snow, but it's useless. The kids pull him out and put him in a chair.]''

Luan: "Sorry, buddy, there's snow  way out!" [giggles]

''[The employee starts crying. Suddenly, a loud engine is heard and some tires screech, causing a thud, and it turns out to be Flip.]''

Flip: "Guess who just earned a bunch of cheddar digging stranded suckers out of the snow?" [holds out his money] "Lay a dozen burgers on me, bicycle boy!"

Lana: "You can save your cheddar. I already found the winning wrapper."

Flip: "What?! Bull hockey! That baby was gonna make me a fortune! I'm out!"

Lincoln: "Flip, wait! Can you give us a ride home? We're stuck here."

Flip: "Stuck, are ya? I can help you out...for a price. Let's say, uh, I don't know...one winning wrapper?"

Lana: "What? No way! Guys, we worked so hard for this. I'll get us home, I promise."

Flip: "Suit yourself, but this offer expires the second that door hits my keister."

[The employee latches onto Flip.]

Employee: [frantic] "Wait! I'll give you anything! My employee discount!"

Flip: "Throw in a jumbo sack of curly fries and you got a deal."

Employee: [grabs the sack and runs out.] "I'm free!"

Flip: [to the kids] "Catch ya on the Flip side!" [leaves]

Lori: "Well, I hope you know what you're doing, Lana, because I am literally not sleeping on hamburger wrappers."

Lana: "No worries. Flip's truck cleared the path, so we just need to make it to Vanzilla."

[Flip's truck backs right into the restaurant.]

Flip: "Whoops!"

[As he drives away, more snow falls and blocks the exit, making us groan.]

Me: (Yelling) THANKS FOR NOTHING, FLIP!!!

Lana: "Guys, I got this. Trust me. I'll get us out." [looks behind the counter and finds some fry scoops.] "And I know just how to do it."

[Lana is digging through the snow with the fry scoops and smells something.]

Lana: "Leaky gas and old string cheese." [sniffs some more] "We're close to Vanzilla. Charles has been giving me bloodhound lessons." [digs all the way to one of Vanzilla's doors.] "There you are, old girl! I'll have you out in a jiffy." [unearths Vanzilla] "Hey, guys! We're going home!"

[The kids are now in Vanzilla.]

Lori: "You literally did it, Lans!"

Me: I knew she would!

Lana: "Thanks." [the others cheer for her] "Ha. And you guys wanted me to give my wrapper to Flip."

[Lori tries to start the engine up, but it doesn't start.]

Lana: "Hmm...better check the engine block." [opens the hood] "Of ice?"

[We groan]

Lola: "If you'd just let Flip give us a ride, we'd be home by now!"

Lori: [groans while looking at her phone] "There's no signal here! I'm gonna warm up inside and use the landline!"

[The others go back in the restaurant.]

Lana: "Don't worry, Hops. We'll figure this out." [gets an idea] "I know just the thing." [goes inside and brings back something] "Burger warming lamp!"

[She turns it on, but it short circuits and causes a blackout in the restaurant.]

Lana's Siblings and I: "Dang it."

[The kids are shivering in the dark.]

Lori: "No signal. No landline. Bobby has no idea where I am. I feel so alone."

Lola: "Bobby is the least of our problems! I'm so cold I can't feel my tushie!"

Lincoln: "Come on, guys. We need to stay positive. We could be here all night."

Me: Yeah, let’s just think of happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

[Hops notices this, hops to Lana, and gets her attention while she's trying to defrost the engine.]

Lana: "Hops, not now. We'll play later." [Hops grabs her and leads her back to the restaurant.] "Hops."

''[Hops shows Lana the condition her siblings and I are in. Lily starts coughing.]''

Lori: "Oh, poor thing. I'll keep you warm."

Me: C-cold… Freezing… Icicles…

Leni: [with napkins she put together] "D-Don’t worry, sweetie, I made cute shawls. Who wants one?"

Lola: "I'd rather freeze my tushie off than be seen wearing n-n-napkins."

Lucy: "If we huddle together and conserve our dwindling body heat, we may be able to stave off hypothermia."

[We all huddle up]

Lucy: "I forgot how much I hate huddling."

Lana: [guilty] "Aw, man. I've been so selfish." [crawls back]

[Later, a rumbling occurs and in comes what looks like a snow monster, making Lana's siblings scream and I in horror, but it shakes and reveals to be Flip.]

Lincoln: "Flip? What are you doing here?"

Lana: [appears behind him] "I tracked him down. I just followed the smell of curly fries and B.O."

Lisa: "You went out in these conditions? You could have lost a digit to frostbite."

Lana: "I had to. I couldn't let you guys suffer all night because of me. So now Flip will take us home."

Flip: "Right after I get that wrapper."

[Lana reluctantly hands the wrapper over to Flip, to everyone's shock.]

Lincoln: "We know how much that wrapper meant to you. Thanks for giving it up and getting us out of here." [hugs Lana]

[The rest of us join in]

Lynn: "Thanks, Lans."

Luna: "Mighty dece of you."

Luan: "We know how much this means to you, Lana."

Me: We love you.

[Flip's truck is pushing through the snow when they notice someone else out there.]

Flip: "Well, lookie here, another sucker."

[It's revealed to be Bobbie Fletcher, and Flip just drives right past her.]

Flip: "Sit tight, chief! I'll be back for you later!"

Lana: "Wait! That's Bobbie Fletcher! Stop, Flip! We have to help her!"

[Flip sighs and backs up to Bobbie's car and Lana gets out to her hero.]

Lana: "Excuse me, Ms. Fletcher? What happened?"

Bobbie: "Engine died. This baby can hit 210 in the straightaway, but throw a little snow at her and she conks out."

[Lana looks at the engine.]

Lana: "Mind if I-"

Bobbie: "It's all yours."

[Lana is working on the engine.]

Lana: "See if she'll turn over now."

[Bobbie tries it and it works.]

Bobbie: "Dang. My pit crew isn't even that fast. What's your name, sport?"

Lana: [proud] "Lana Loud."

Bobbie: "Well, thank you, Lana Loud." [gives Lana her business card] "Give me a call when you're 18. I could use someone like you on my team."

Lana: "Wow! Thanks!" [goes back into Flip's truck]

[Her siblings and I cheer]

Lori: "Way to go, Lana."

Me: That’s my best friend!!

[Flip is unimpressed and rolls down his window.]

Flip: "Hey, Blippity Fletchman! She may have fixed your car, but I'm the one who brought her here. How about a little something for me?"

Bobbie: "Coming right up, pal."

''[Bobbie revs up her engine and speeds off, blasting some snow all over Flip. Later, me and the LKs are back at home, In our PJs in the living room, by the fireplace. Lincoln is reading a comic book, Me and Leni are snuggling on the couch, Lori is on the couch texting Bobby, Luan’s flicking through the TV channels, Luna’s strumming her guitar, Lynn is warming herself up by the fireplace, Lucy is also reading a book, Lola is brushing her hair, Lana is drawing a picture of her and Bobbie Fletcher together, Lisa is using her test tubes and Lily is also on the couch taking a nap.]''

Me: Well, that was a great adventure we just had. We got to eat Burpin Burgers, Lana got to meet her hero, and we’re still all together and in one piece.

Lisa: Agreed. But does feel good to be back safe and sound in the heated living room of our household.

(The other Loud siblings agree.)

Luan: Ugh, there’s nothing good T.V.

(She changes the channel again and it shows a new year’s eve countdown.)

T.V.: Two! One! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

(We all look stunned)

Lincoln: (Gasps) Guys, we’ve been so caught up in everything that’s happened, we forgot it was New Year’s Eve!

Lynn: Aw man! What do we do now?

Me: Well, you know what they say, Better late than never. Let’s have a new year’s party!

Leni: Noey, are you sure that’s a good idea?

Me: Of course, I’m sure! Let’s start off this new year with a bang! Who’s with me?

(The LKs cheer. Cuts to all 12 of us having fun together. Leni comes up to me.)

Leni: Happy new year’s eve, Noey.

(She kisses me on the lips. This goes on for a few minute.)

Me: (sigh) Awesome.

Lincoln: You know what guys, this new year doesn’t feel too different from last year.

Me: Well, that’s only because it just started, I’m sure as it goes on, we’ll notice things changing.

Lana: And we’ll have new adventures together.

Lynn: And do new awesome things.

Me: And most importantly, we’ll do them together.

(All of the LKs agree.)

Me: Happy 2018, guys.

LKs: Happy 2018, Nolan!

(The 12 of us continue with our party.)

THE END