User blog:Chanyhuman/Shop Boy (Genderbent Shop Girl)

The fallowing is a Genderbent version of “shop girl”.

Story

Shop Boy

[The episode begins early morning at the Loud House, every sibling, except Loni, are in their pajamas eating cereal and watching TV.]

Loni: *Offscreen* "Hey guys, anyone seen my bus pass?"

Loki: "Did you check your murse?"

Loni: "Oh, Thanks, I got it. Did someone take the credit card?"

Lexx: "Check your murse."

Loni: "Oh, right. Wait, my shopping list."

Levi: “The male purse, man!”

Loni: *Walking into scene* "Culottes, jeans, men’s pom-pom sweater."

Linka: "Going shopping, Loni?"

Loni: "Not just shopping. Reiningers is having a huge two day, 25% off blowout sale, and I made up a dream shopping list for it. Yay, new wardrobe!" *Leaves, as his siblings bid him trouble. * "Shoot, where did I put my murse?"

Loni’s Siblings: "Check your arms."

[They return to their breakfast, and continue to watch tv. A while later, they are in their regular clothes, eating lunch, again while watching tv.]

Loni: *Offscreen* "I'm back."

[The siblings look in shock to see that their brother had been beaten up. His suit was messed up, one of the lense On his sunglasses cracked, he is missing his left shoe, and his socks look torn up.]

Leif: "Are you okay, Loni? Did you wrestle a bear?"

Lynn: "Where's your stuff?"

Loni: "I didn't get any of it."

Loki: "What? Why?"

Loni: "Well, you know how shoppers can be. Sometimes, they can be a little grabby and pushy. And clawy and shovey."

Lexx: "Ah, wait, did you let a bunch of greedy bargain hunters take your stuff?!" Loni: "I don't mind. I'll just make new clothes with my old ones. Yay!" *goes upstairs*

Loki: *Takes out the remote* "Poor Loni. This always happens. He’s too nice for his own good."

[Lexx takes the remote from Loki and starts channel surfing.]

Levi: "It's true, his submissive nature makes him easy prey." [Lars takes the remote from Lexx.] "Much like the baby wildebeest of the Serengeti."

Leif: "He needs to learn how to be a little tougher."

Lexx: "A little meaner." *Gets into a fight in a dust cloud with Lars over the remote.*

Lynn: *Joining the fight* "More aggressive."

Lexx: *To Lars* "I WANT THE REMOTE!"

[The other brothers, except for Leon, join the fight.]

Loki: "Give me that remote back!"

[Linka, who also wasn't in the fight, manages to grab the remote and use it.]

Linka: "More like us."

[Cuts to Loni sewing something in his room as his siblings come in.]

Linka: "Loni, how would you like to go back to that sale tomorrow, and get everything you wanted?"

Loni: "That's okay. I'm fine. *Shows what he’s making. * Look! I turned this nightshirt into jeans! *realizes* Oh, wait. Now I don't have a nightshirt. *Gets some other jeans* "Ooooh, I can make one out of these other jeans!"

[The siblings shake their heads.]

Lane: "Loni, *sits Loni down* You need to learn to stand up for yourself."

Leif: 'Yeah, you don't wanna be wilted-beets in the spaghetti!"

Levi: "Meh, close enough."

Loki: "But don't worry, we're to teach you how to become a more assertive, decisive person!"

Loni: "Well, okay. If you guys want. I'm just happy when you're happy."

Linka: *facepalms; sighs* "We have a lot of work to do."

[Later, in the hallway, next to the bathroom.]

Linka: "Tomorrow, you're going back to that mall as a new Loni, and the new Loni, doesn't let people cut ahead of her in line." [Loni nods, and Linka calls out to everyone.] "Ten, hut."

[The other brothers are lined up along the wall, Lane approaches Loni.]

Lane: "Now, you're number one in the bathroom line. Don't let anyone make you number two. *Laughs* Get it?"

Loni: I don't, but don't worry! No one's gonna cut!

Lynn: *acting; groans* "I'm feeling the surprise part of Mom’s taco surprise! Oh, you gotta let me cut, Loni!"

Loni: "Oh, you poor thing! Go right ahead!"

[The rest of the siblings groan.]

Lexx: "Alright. Step aside and watch a pro do it. Loki, your assistance."

Loki: *clears throat; acts* "I'm in a hurry, Lexx! Let me cut!"

[Lexx growls; Loki tries to cut, but Lexx then starts attacking him.]

Loki: "Ow! How are you so freakishly strong?!"

Lexx: *pinning Loki* "I HOPE YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF FLOOR!!"

Loni: *taking notes* "Tackle, pin, catchphrase. Got it!"

[Cuts to out in the backyard. The kids, with the exception of Loni and Luke, pile some clothes on a table.]

Luke: "Second lesson, the new Loni isn't afraid to go after what he wants." *pointing to the table* "There's some Rockin' threads on that clearance table, but you got major peeps blockin' your way. What are you gonna do, dude?"

Loni: *With determination* "I'm gonna get those threads!" *Marches up to the table with a serious look on his face, but then politely taps Lynn on the shoulde. .* "So sorry, would you mind moving?" *Tries to find an opening* "No? I can wait until you're ready." *Walks away, while his siblings at the table sigh*

Luke: *Pushes Loni back towards Lynn. * "Yo, LJ, show him how it's done."

Lynn: "With pleasure." *Runs off, and returns wearing his football helmet. * "Hut, hut." *paints black lines on his fac. .* "Take a hike!" [Rampages through his siblings like inAmericann football, spins a sweater over his head to celebrate, and throws it on the ground, doing a victory dance on it, much to Loki’s distaste.]

Loki: "Hey! Bebe gave me that sweater!" *Gives Lynn a rotten look.*

Loni: *Taking notes* "Let’s see. Run, block, do a dance. Got it!"

[Cuts to the kitchen.]

Lars: "Third lesson, protecting your property." *Gives Loni a phone charger, which Loni then takes.] "The new Loni doesn't let greedy shoppers steal his stuff."

Leif: "That phone charger is the only working one in the house. Your goal is to hold onto it, no matter what."

Loni: *Still missing the point of these training sessions, stands up. * "Oh, it's okay," *gives Leif the charger* "I can use the land line."

Loni’s Siblings: *Annoyed* "Loni, no!" *put him back in the chair. *

Leif: "Put yourself first!"

Loki: *Takes the charger, sighs, and goes to the other side of the kitchen. * "I'll show you how it's done. I've been protecting my junk from you guys for seventeen years." *wraps the charger around his under arm. * "The key is to use a good, firm armpit grip." *To his other siblings* "Alright, come at me."

[They attack him while Loni remains seated.]

Loni: *Taking notes* "Armpit tuck, fall on floor, protect vital organs." *Leaves without saying anything else.*

Loki: *Not realizing that Loni has left. * "Got it yet, Loni?! Ow! Loni!

[The next day, Loni and his siblings are waiting in the line at Reiningers.]

Loni: "Thank you guys for all of your help. I'm so excited to meet the new Loni! Just one question: Where did the old Loni go?"

[Suddenly, Macy shoves in front of Loni as if he is not even there. His siblings do not look happy.]

Luke: "Hey dude! Bogus!"

Loni: *Clenching his fists, and making a grumpy face.* "I got this creep." *Attacks her the same way Lexx did to Loki the day before, pins her to the ground. (That wasn’t not very nice.)] "I hope you like the taste of flan!" *Turns to his astonished siblings. * "Was it 'flan' or 'floor'? I heard flan.”

Lexx: "Um. Doesn't matter. You're a king!"

[The girl then runs away. Meanwhile, one of the store employees nervously opens the doors, and everyone starts rushing in. Loni makes a determined look, and rushes in as well. He heads over to a swimsuit section, but sees a bunch of other men taking the swimsuits.]

Loni: "Hut, Hut. Take a hike!"

[Loni shoves the men out of his way to reach the swimsuits. (Also not very nice.) He gets one and does a little victory dance, with Linka and Lynn joining him.] Lynn: "Woo! All day long, baby!"

[Next, Loni grabs a sweater off the rack, and some gent tries to steal it from him, but Loni refuses to let go.]

Loni: *Struggling* "Hey! That’s mine! Don't even think about it!" [Hip checks the gent into a pile of clothes.]

[Cuts to a montage of Loni grabbing clothes before the others could get to them and puts them in his bag. The siblings then watch as Loni drags two boys for a sweater, the boys also have a grip on it, but then Loni snags it from them. The boys then attack Loni, but Loni ends up winning and starts swinging the sweater around.]

His Siblings: "Yaaaay!"

[Loni is now at the checkout line. His siblings walk up.]

Luke: "You rocked!"

Lane: "Yay, Loni!"

Leif: "You crushed it!"

Loni: "Ha. A new wardrobe! I can't believe it."

Lynn: "Ah, we gotta celebrate. Pretzels and sodas. On Linka."

Linka: "Wait, why me?"

Loni: "Thanks, Linka. Meet you guys at the food court."

[The siblings leave while a girl cuts in front of him, the obnoxious girl who cut in front of him earlier says the following.]

Obnoxious Girl: "I wouldn't do that, if I were you." *points to Loni*

[The girl who just cut Loni turns around, sees Loni preparing fora bull chargee her, and makes a run for it, Loni smiles at this, while the obnoxious girl just keeps minds her own business. Cut to the siblings at the food court.]

Lane: "Wow. Loni really mauled the competition."

Lars: "People are going to think twice before crossing him."

Lexx: "We changed his life." *raises his soda* "To us!"

Siblings: "To us!" *clink their sodas together*

[Cuts back to Loni.]

Loni: *going through his clothes* "Hmm." *pulls out a top* "This top is perfect for a cozy Saturday." *pulls out the sweater* "And this sweater will look so good with my new nightgown jeans." *puts it back*

Mro. Parker: "Are you sure you don't have any more of those polka-dot swimsuits?" [The clerk shakes his head.] "But that’s all my grandson wants. Well, that and for me to live forever, but I can't promise that."

Loni: *Seeing that he had one, calls to Mro. Parker.] "Here!" [Mro. Parker walks up to him, and Loni takes his swimsuit out.] "You should take mine."

Mro. Parker: "Oh!" *Takes it* "You angel. Andy will be so happy."

[Mro. Parker walks off, and another man walks past, whom notices Loni’s sweater.]

Man: *Admiring the sweater* "That sweater looks neat, where'd you get it?"

Loni: "I think this was the last one."

Man: *Disappointed* "Oh, it's hard finding sweaters that won't give me what my doctor calls 'Category Five Rashes'." *Laughs* "That's me, allergic to almost every fabric." *Starts off* "Well, enjoy it."

Loni: "Wait! I can't imagine how awful that would be, " *offers him the sweater* "here, take mine."

Man: *Gleeful* "Aw, that is so sweet." *Takes the sweater* "Thank you."

[Just then a girl runs past and drops her credit card. Loni picks it up.]

Loni: *to the girl* Excuse me, is your name "American Bank"?

The Girl: *comes back* "Oh my stars, I am so stressed about finding a tie for my anniversary, that I must've dropped it! [Loni gives it back to her.] 25 years, it's a big one."

Loni: "You know, I'd be glad to help you."

The Girl: "But you'd lose your place in line."

Loni: *grabs his bag and gets out of the line. * "That's okay. This is more important."

[He and the girl leave to find a tie. Meanwhile, back at the food court...]

Linka: *drinking her soda* "Yep. Today could be the start of a whole new life for Loni."

[She starts fantasizing about Loni’s future. It starts with him being the CEO of a major fashion corporation, and giving a presentation.]

Loni: "The ABCs of being a CEO."

[Next up, fantasy Loni is signing a book titled "Taste the Flan" written by Loni himself. Then they fantasize Loni gets on a talk show.]

Interviewer: "Mr. Loud, you're the head of a fashion company, the best-selling author of 'Taste the Flan', and a role model for young feminine men. To what do you attribute your success?"

Loni: "Well, I really owe it all to my siblings, see, there was this two-day blowout sale..."

[All the siblings continue fantasizing, completely unaware of what Loni’s doing back at Reiningers. (Speaking of which...)]

Loni: *Giving a tunic to a teen boy* "Problem solved, now you'll have something to wear to the dance." [They hug each other. Then, he gives a man a blouse.] "You came all the way from Cheboygan for a flutter sleeve O neck men’s blouse? You should have it." *Giving some girl his culottes.* "Please, there'll be other culottes."

[Giving a gent some pants.] "Send me a picture, I wanna see how those gaucho pants look in you."

[Loni finally gets to the front of the line, and puts the only thing he has left on the counter.]

Cashier: "This is a great find. I wish I had time to browse the racks."

Loni: "Oh, well, maybe you should take it."

Cashier: "Oh, oh, I couldn't do that, this is all you have and you've been waiting in line for so long."

Loni: "It's okay, I wouldn't even be shopping here, if it weren't for people like you working so hard."

[Leaves, while the cashier smiles, and gives the obnoxious girl who cut in front of him earlier a salute, she yelps and takes cover. Meanwhile, back at the food court...]

Lexx: "No, the castle Loni’s gonna live in, will have three swimming pools!"

Linka: "Oh, and a chocolate fountain!"

Leif: "A zoo!"

Lexx: *noticing Loni* "There she is!"

Loni: *as his siblings cheer* "Hey, you guys!"

Linka: *noticing Loni not having any shopping bags* "Uh, Loni, where are your bags?"

Loni: "Oh, I didn't buy anything. I gave all my clothes away."

Lynn: "What?! After all our training?!"

Linka: "What happened to the new Loni?!"

Loni: "He wasn't really me. I'm sorry, you guys. It did feel good to get what I wanted, but it felt even better to give other people what they wanted."

Lane: "Lane, we're worried about you. How are you going to make it in life if you keep putting yourself last?"

Loki: *holds up his phone; Bebe is on the other line. * "Boo-Boo Bear and I cannot support you forever."

Mro. Parker: *Walks up to Loni* "Oh, there you are, dear!" *holds up a present* 'I got you a little something to say thanks."

Loni: *takes the present* "Awwww, you shouldn't have! I hope your grandson loves the suit."

Mro. Parker: "I know he will." *walks away* "I wish more young people were as sweet as you are."

Lexx: "Presents are nice, but you know what's nicer? All those clothes you gave away!"

[Just then, a waitress comes in with a cart of fries.]

Waitress: "Excuse me, Mister, we have the number three combo, with fries, for everyone in your party, courtesy of that man over there."

[The man from before waves to Loni, and gestures to the sweater Loni gave him.]

Loni: *Applauding, while Lexx takes the fries.* "Yay! You look great! No rashes."

[Just then, the tie girl and her husbandwalks up to Loni.]

Tie Girl’s Husband: "Excuse me, Mister." [His wife loves the tie] "Thank you so much for helping my wifey, she has never looked so cute."

Tie Girl: *Pulls out a gift card* "We got you a gift card to the fro-yo shop."

Loni: "That's so sweet of you, that's my favorite place." [The lovely couple starts off.] "Happy anniversary Ms. and Mro. Bank."

[The couple has no clue what that means as they walk off.]

Loki: "Loni, it's great that all these people are doing nice things for you, but I still think it's more important that you understand that ni-"

Mr. Carmichael: *Walks up to Loni and shakes his hand. * "Excuse me, I wanted to meet you. I'm Mr. Carmichael, I'm the manager of Reiningers, and I've been hearing such wonderful things about you. You know, we could use a sales employee with great customer service skills."

Loni: "Great, let me think about it, and get back to you with some names." [His siblings clear their throats and signal to him, and then Loni realizes.] "Oh, you mean me."

Mr. Carmichael: "Hours are flexible, and employees get a fifty percent discount on all merchandise."

Loni: *Touched* "It's like there's a blowout sale happening in my heart." Mr. Carmichael: "I'll take that as a yes." [Loni’s siblings smile] "Stop by whenever to fill out paperwork."

Loni: *As he and Mr. Carmichael leave. * "I'll see you back at home guys."

Linka: "Wow, we were so wrong about Loni."

Lynn: *Eating his fries* "Yeah, guess we don't have to worry about her after all."

Lexx: *Looking at his fries* "Hmm, if being nice does that much for Loni, I wonder what it could do for me. [He gets up from his seat holding his fries and walks up to the obnoxious girl.] Hey, miss? How would you like my fries?"

Obnoxious Girl: "Oh, no thank you. I’m trying to watch my cholesterol."

Lexx: "Go ahead. Take them."

Obnoxious Girl: "No, really. I'm good."

Lexx: *Threateningly* "TAKE THE FRIES!"

Obnoxious Girl: *Screams* "What is up with this mall?!" [As she runs off in fear, Lexx glares and groans at her.]

Linka: "Maybe stick to what you know, Lexx."

Trivia


 * Unfortunitly, there was no male version of Mrs. So I invinted one, "Mro."
 * Tip: The phrase “nice guys finish last” is not true. In fact being nice can actually finish pretty high. You don’t have to hurt people in order to get the upper hand.
 * The original was written by Sheela Shrinivas.
 * Please support the official release.