User blog:TheMaximumMatt/Shortfiction - Rock, Paper, Winners?

Lynn: [Lynn sighs] I'm bored.

Leni: [pops from behind couch, startling Lynn] Hey Lynn! Whatcha' doing?

Lynn: Oh... hey Leni. Nothing right now. I'm just bored.

Leni: Well, I'm free. Why don't we do something together?

Lynn: No offense Leni, but we don't exactly have anything in common. What could we possibly do together?

Leni: Well... let's do something simple!

Lynn: Like what?

Leni: Like... rock, paper, scissors? That's a fun game!

Lynn: That game?! That game's for kindergarteners when they're riding on the bus! No way.

Leni: [Tauntingly rolls her eyes] Alright, Ms. I'm-the-best-at-everything. Looks like we found a game you can't handle. [Leni smirks]

Lynn: ...Oh, it's on now!

Leni: [Cheekishly smiles] Ready?

[The two throws their hands out and begin the game. The atmosphere suddenly becomes intense. The two shake their arms three times and make their move. Lynn pulls out a rock, while Leni pulls out a scissors]

Leni: Aw, dang it... I lost...

Lynn: Uh... yeah that's it. [Lynn smirks, but then it quickly turns into a guilty frown] Actually, no. I can't take this win. You won that round.

Leni: Wait? Really? But rocks are better than paper.

Lynn: No. Paper covers rock. It's the rules.

Leni: How? Wouldn't the rock be able to smash through the paper? Rocks are stronger.

Lynn: Yeah but... if the rock is covered then... I don't know. That's just how the game is.

Leni: Well that's kind of silly...

Lynn: Let's just move on to the next round.

[The atmosphere goes back to being intense. The two shake their arms three times and then make their move. Leni pulls out paper and Lynn pulls out paper.]

Leni: Yay! I won!

Lynn: No, sorry. I won that one.

Leni: Wait, what?!

Lynn: Yeah. Scissors cut paper.

Leni: But... paper covers scissors.

Lynn: No it doesn't! Scissors can just through the paper.

Leni: Nuh-uh! The paper can just wrap the scissors tight.

Lynn: That's not how it works...

Leni: Well, the paper was able to cover the rock, so why not the scissors?

Lynn: Because...

Leni: [angrily] Because on the rock, the paper was supposedly able to cover it even though the rock and just break through the paper! But now, the paper can't cover the scissors? If the scissors can destroy the paper, why can't the rock?

Lynn: I don't know! I didn't invent this game! You're the one who wanted to play it!

Leni: [calms down] I'm sorry Lynn. I just don't understand this game.

Lynn: Don't know why your getting so worked up about it.

Lincoln: Hi guys. What are you doing?

Lynn: We're trying to play rock, paper, scissors, but Leni is having trouble understanding.

Lincoln: Really? The game so simple though.

Leni: Yeah, but there's a lot of things that don't make sense though. Why does paper cover rock but not scissors? Why does scissors cut through paper, but not rock doesn't?

Lincoln: Well, that's life for ya' Leni. Things just don't make sense something. None of us invented the game anyway. It's rock beats scissors, scissors beats paper, and paper beats rock. Dunno why, that's how it is.

Lynn: That's what I told her.

Lincoln: Well, can I join in?

Leni: Sure!

[The three hold out their hands and shake three times. Lincoln pulls out a scissors, Lynn pulls out a rock, and Leni pulls out a paper]

Leni: Yay! I won! Paper covers rock!

Lincoln: Wait, but I cut you though! Scissors beats paper remember?

Lynn: But I smash you with rock. Don't I win?

Leni: No, I cover you...

Lincoln: But I cut...

[The three take a long look at their own hands in silence.]

Leni: How do you win this again?

Lynn: I have no idea...

THE END

Trivia

 * The main inspiration for this actually came from a deleted scene from New Look, where it was basically the same premise but without Lincoln. It was scrapped due to being pointless and in favor of Lincoln being a model for Leni, but I decided to make it its own shortfiction anyway.
 * This is based off of a rant video I once saw as a child where a guy questioned the rules of the game.