User blog:Thomperfan/The Green House (my version) NEW AND IMPROVED

Well guys, here it is, another new and improved version, this time on one of the most hated season 2 episodes of all time, The Green House. Special thanks to TheMaximumMatt for giving me the idea and for helping me with the story. Enjoy!

(It starts with me walking down the path to the Loud House. Just then I turn to the viewers.)

Me: (to the viewers) Oh, hey guys! I’m just on my way to Lincoln’s house. We’re gonna play some video games.

(I finally get to the Loud House, and I see all the energy coming from it.)

Me: Um, is it just me, or does the Loud House look... More chaotic than usual.

(Just then Rita comes out with her purse, heading to Vanzilla.)

Me: Oh, hi Miss Rita!

Rita: Oh, hi, Nolan! Sorry I can’t stay and chat right now! I gotta head to the center to pay some bills now! I’m late!

Me: Really? Why?!

Rita: I’ve been so caught up on keeping the house in one piece! Do you know how much I have to spend just for this family?! Oh dear! I’ve gotta run now! [hurriedly runs in Vanzilla and drives off]

Me: Wow. She looked really worried... (to the viewers) I don’t know about you guys, but I’m starting to get a little concerned.

(Just then Lola comes driving in her princess car, and almost runs me over, luckily I dodge it.)

Me: Careful, Lola! You could've ran me over!

Lola: Well excuse me, for trying to go about my business!

Me: Um, by the way, have you realized your car is making a lot of smoke?

Lola: Um, duh! That’s what cars do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have important things to attend to.

[Lola drives off, not realizing the damage she is causing to the air around her. I try to tell her again but then I’m cut off by Luna playing guitar loudly in the garage with its door opening and closing rapidly. I go over to see her.]

Me: (Loudly so she can hear me) HEY, LUNA!!!

Luna: [Shouts over her jamming] Hey, Nolan! You like my new practice stage?! Dad's letting me use it!

Me: (also shouting) It's cool, but are you sure you need all these amps?!

Luna: I can’t hear you! You’ll have to speak up, dude!

Me: (shouting) I said, do you need all these amps?!

Luna: Of course I do! This is how loud the song is supposed to be! How else would I be able to play this song properly?! [starts singing loudly]

Me: I don't think it's necessary though! Maybe you shouldn't use so much- [see Luna is distracted] Luna! Can you hear me?!

Luna: Sorry, dude! I'm a bit busy right now!

Me: But Luna, this isn't-

[Suddenly, one of Lynn's hockey pucks flies above me. Luckily, it just barely misses me. I look over to see Lynn playing ice hockey using refrigerators that are placed on the outside of the tub. I go over to see her.]

Me: I wonder what Lynn’s doing.

Lynn: Heads up! [shoots a puck into the net] Goal!

Me: (lifting myself up to the rink) Lynn, what's going on?

Lynn: Oh hey Nolan! I was just practicing my ice hockey skills! Wanna watch?

Me: Sure. Wait a minute, why are you doing it here? Aren’t there ice rinks in Royal Woods?

Lynn: Yeah, but Mom's busy, so I thought: why not just make my own ice rink? Cool right? No pun intended.

Me: It’s nice, but it’s a shame all this water has to go to waste.

Lynn: It’s not going to waste, you wuss. It’s helping do sweet slapshots! (she shoots another puck into the net) Goal!

Me: Um, okay. You have fun with that. I'm gonna go see what the others are doing.

Lynn: Alright! Your loss!

(I go inside the house and into the kitchen where, Luan is making a bunch of pies.)

Me: Hey, Lua-

Luan: [throws a pie at me] Pie, Nolan! (laughs)

Me: (I wipe the pie off my face and see all the other pies Luan has made and thrown) Luan, what's with all these pies? They're everywhere!

Luan: They're actually for my next clown act. A birthday party for Neil, one of Lola's friends. I'm need to test a few, so I made a lot of them.

Me: I can see that… But, it's sure using up a lot of electricity.

Luan: Well, it may come as a shock to you, but I ohm-it to see watt the matter is. [laughs]

Me: Uh, never mind. I'm just gonna go upstairs. (I do just that)

Luan: Joule see. A little electricity never hertz anyone. [laughs]

(I go upstairs and here laughter coming from Lori and Leni's room. I go to investigate and see Lori talking to Bobby on a bunch of different webcams.)

Lori: "Bobby, you look so good on all of my devices."

Me: (coming in) Lori, what's going on in here?

Lori: Oh hello, Nolan! Bobby's just telling me about a trip he’s been going on.

Bobby: Hey, is that Nolan?

Lori: Yes it is, Boo-Boo Bear.

Bobby: Hey, Nolan!

Me: Hey, Bobby. (to Lori) You're talking to Bobby on all of these webcams?

Lori: Of course! I gotta see Bobby and capture all of the adventure!

Me: But you can do that with just one device. This seems like overkill.

Lori: But if I don’t how will I be able to fully experience Bobby’s trip?

Bobby: Besides, it’s only a little more electricity. What’s the worst that could happen?

Me: You’re not here, Bobby. You don’t know or see what’s actually going on? But okay, just keep on doing what you’re doing.

(I head out and then hear humming from the bathroom, I open the bathroom to see Leni, and the sink running.)

Me: Leni?

Leni: Oh! Hi, Noey! Don't I look I look good today? I just finished cleaning my hair! What do you think?

Me: (blushing) Oh, uh, yeah sure, (laughs nervously) you do. (I smile)

Leni: Oh, thank you, Noey, you are so sweet. (Giggles)

Me : [snaps out of it] Oh, Leni! You left the sink on!

Leni: Oh. Oopsies. [turns off sink]

Me : You know Leni, not to be a nag, but you shouldn't be wasting water like that.

Leni: I know! I could've flooded the house!

Me: Well, that, of course, and it's also bad to waste in general. See, other people need water too, and there's only so much of it in the world. Water doesn't grow on trees.

Leni: It doesn't? Really?

Me: Yes really! (I notice the shower is running) And why is the shower on?!

Leni: Oops! I left that on too!

(I turn off the water)

Me: Leni, you really have to be careful with wasting water.

Leni: Alright, Noey!

(I leave to go see the others.)

Leni: Oops! Missed a spot! [turns on sink and wipes her face with water and soap] There we go! Clean now! [walks out of bathroom, having left the sink on again]

(I'm the hallway, and then I notice Lucy spray painting in her and Lynn's room. I go to see for myself.)

Me: Lucy, what are you doing?

Lucy: Oh. Hello, Nolan. I’m just painting my room, black. The way it should be.

Me: Um, this is Lynn's room, too. Are you sure Lynn will be okay with this?

Lucy: ...Sure…

Me: (suspiciously) Really?

Lucy: Uh... yeah. [continues painting room black]

Me: OK. Well, that sure is a lot of aerosols you're using, Lucy.

Lucy: Yes. If I'm going to make sure this room is perfect, I going to need to do a lot of spraying. I need to get every single spot.

Me: OK, good luck with that.

(I go back outside in the hallway and see more smoke coming from the twins room. I go inside, and find out Lana is shoveling soil into a furnace.)

Me: Lana, what's going on in here?

Lana: Hey, Nolan! Can't talk! Got a lot of stoking to do!

Me: For what?

Lana: Someone's gotta handle the house's heating system!

Me: Don’t you guys already have heaters and furnaces?

Lana: Nah! My room is freezing right now! I can't hold anything back!

Me: Okay... Have fun with that.

(I go back out into the hallway. Just then I notice a foul smell coming from Lisa and Lily's room.)

Me: (plugging my nose) Is that what I think it is?!

(I go inside to see Lily with a dirty diaper)

Me: Oh, christ, has Lily gone through ANOTHER Diaper?!

(Just then Lynn Sr. comes in.)

Lynn Sr.: (sad) I'm on it.

Lily: Poo Poo. [laughs]

Me: Mr. Lynn, that's the twenty-first time Lily has gone through a diaper really quickly!

Lynn Sr.: I know! I'm running out of room to put these in the house so quickly that I resorted to just putting them in a pile in Lily's room in a corner!

Me: What?

Lynn Sr.: See?! [points to a corner filled with Lily's diapers. It's so bad, even the flies flying around it faint.]

Me: (Astounded) Good Lord!

(Just then Lisa comes in.)

Lisa: Out of my way! [Lisa quickly pours some fizzy fuel into the machine and pulls the lever, creating massive amounts of electricity] Hahahaha! It's working!

Me: Lisa?! What is that?!

Lisa: My personal life creator.

Me: What?

Lisa: I think the name is self-explanatory. Through very extensive research, I found that an extreme and high amount of energy of electricity can bring life to matter. Observe.

[Lisa brings a pile of mysterious sludge to life. The sludge grows two conjoined eyeballs and gives you an awkward wink]

Me: (Grossed out) Ewwwwwwww! OK, I gotta go see Lincoln!

(I zoom out over to Lincoln's room. Lincoln has two portable video games for us to play on.)

Me: Hey, Lincoln. Sorry, I'm late.

Lincoln: Hi, Nolan! No problem. I got two consoles out for us! I got two games out for us. Which game do you want to play?

Me: Um, let's play Muscle Fish.

(We start playing the game.)

Me: Hey, Lincoln, I've been noticing your family is really harming the environment.

Lincoln: [sighs] I know…

Me: You do?

Lincoln: Trust me... it's one of the things that comes with a family as big as mine…

Me: (Sigh) I can imagine. Have tried doing anything about it?

Lincoln: Sorry, buddy. I have. I've tried talking them out of it before, but with 10 stubborn sisters like mine, it just might not be possible.

Me: Oh... I see.

(Later I'm over at the McBrides hose, in Clyde's room with Clyde telling him about the Loud Family's situation.)

Me: And Miss Rita even said she's been so caught on keeping the house in one piece!

Clyde: That's awful! Good thing my family doesn't have that issue. Our house is solar powered, so we don't burn any fossil fuels.

Me: Oh, really? That's amazing. Can't believe I didn't notice that before. Anyway, I wanna help them out, but I'm not so sure what to do.

Clyde: Hm, interesting. [ponders] Oh! I know! [rusn to the closet and pulls out a VHS Tape] Show them this! Trust me. It works like a charm.

Me: What is it?

Clyde: A documentary about the environment.

Me: How is this gonna help?

Clyde: You’ll see.

Me: OK, but I think I have a better idea on how we can show it to them. Get your Dads and meet me over at my house, and tell Lincoln and his family to come over to. It's time for an intervention.

Clyde: (saluting) On it!

A FEW HOURS LATER

(Cuts to my apartment, my family, and the McBrides are in the living room, just then Louds come through the door and sit down in the living room as well.)

Me: (to the Louds) You may be wondering why we asked you to come here?

Lori: Yeah. What is this about?

Mom: Well, Lori, this is an intervention. the rest of us have noticed that you've been having a negative impact on the environment, and it’s getting really out of control, and the bills are really piling up.

Rita: Well, you’re not wrong there, Sheryl.

Lola: I don't see what the problem is here. It's not like we're hurting anyone or anything. right?

Me: Well, Clyde has given me a documentary about harmful effects to the environment. (holds up said documentary) I'd appreciate it if you watched and pay close attention. This has some... interesting stuff in it. (i put it in the VCR)

Lynn: Aw, man! A VHS?! Those old things?! Really?!

Lincoln: Shh! It's starting!

(The VHS documentary begins with a background of an old, destroyed, grimy forest. The trees are all chopped down and burned in fire. Ash is piled everywhere. Next to it lays a dried up pond with grime in it.)

Narrator: This is what our planet is predicted to look like in 10 years. How have we come to this?

Lori: What is that?

Me: That is the future...

Lincoln: Our future is a post-apocalyptic zombie field?

Lori: I don't think I understand.

Me: Just keep watching.

20 MINUTES LATER

(The video has ended. Everyone, sans you and the McBrides, is horrified.)

Lori: That was the most excruciating thing I've ever laid my eyes on.

Lana: I think I might have to change my eyeballs after that.

Lola: Can that even happen?!

Leni: That's so sad! Our poor planet!

Clyde: I know. When these types of things keep happening, it has big affects on Earth.

Luna: Dude, that was heartbreaking.

Luan: Yeah. I'll never bake another pie the same way again.

Me: I know it's not easy for you guys, but the planet is our home and we have to what we can to protect it.

Luna: But what can we do to help?

Me: I’m glad you asked!

(We start with Lori)

Me: Lori, you do not need multiple devices to talk to Bobby.

Lori: How else can I communicate with Bobby then?

Me: Simple. Just use pen and paper.

Lori: Is it quick?

Me: Not as quick. Think of it as writing to a pen pal almost, except your pen pal happens to be your boyfriend.

Lori: Oh! I can do that!

Me: That’s great, and I’m sure Bobby can too.

Lori: Sure! I’ll just call- I mean, send him a letter.

(Then we move onto Lana. I put out the fire in the furnace.)

Me: Lana, I don't think you need this furnace.

Lana: But how am I supposed to keep warm?

[I see a fuzzy winter coat and put it on Lana]

Me: How's that?

Lana: It... works. B-but, what about my reptiles? They’re cold-blooded!

Me: But, you’re not.

(I put Lana’s lizards in Lana’s jacket.)

Me: See? What did I tell ya?

(Lana likes this but finds out one of them is in her mouth; Lisa is powering up her machine and laughing evilly until I shut it down. Lynn Sr is also there.)

Me: I think I know something that can fix two problems. Lisa, instead of powering your lab with megawatts of electricity, why not use a renewable resource? (Pointing to Lily’s dirty diapers.)

[Cut to Lisa dumping the diapers into the machine, which powers just as well]

Lisa: Nolan, this is genius!

Lynn Sr.: I'll say! This room has never looked or smelled so clean before!

Lily: [giggles, while I change her diaper]

Me: "Fresh energy, comin' at ya! This one's got to be good for at least 75 watts."

[I throws the diaper into Lisa's power source. Cuts to Me and Leni in the bathroom.]

Me: OK, Leni. Remember, what I told you about water?

Leni: Right! Never leave the sink or shower on!

[Leni uses the sink to wash her face.]

Leni: Done! Oh, and this time...

[Leni turns off the sink]

Me: (clapping) Great job, Leni!

Leni: Thanks, Noey! [gives you a kiss, causing you to blush]

[Cut to you and Lucy in her room]

Me: Lucy, I think I may have another idea on how you can make your room black. (I take out a pair of sunglasses)

Lucy: Sunglasses?

Me: Trust me, Just try em on. They work.

Lucy: [puts them on] Woah. These things are magic.

Me: See?

Lucy: Now, I don't have to constantly keep waiting for Lynn to leave the room before I paint it black- uh, I mean, so I can surprise her when she comes back... [smiles suspiciously]

(Just then, Lynn comes into the room)

Lynn: Hey guys, what's u-(Notices all the spray paint in the room and yelps) What happened to our room?!

Me: Lucy wanted to surprise you by painting your room black.

Lynn: (cracking her knuckles) Oh she did, did she?

Me: Uh-oh. (to Lucy) Lucy, you might wanna start running now.

Lucy: Good idea.

(Lucy runs away with Lynn chasing her.)

(Next is Luan)

Me: You know, Luan, you don't have to make pies to be funny. You can get plenty of comedy out of your leftovers. (Holds up a banana peel.)

Luan: That old gag! Sorry, Nolan. I don't think so.

Me: [slips of banana peel]

Luan: On second thought, now I see the ap-peel! [laughs]

Me: Now, you’ve got it!

Luan: Well, what do I do with all of these pies though?

Me: Well, you can still use those for whatever you need, just try not make so many, and focus on other comedy aspects.

Luan: You got it!

(Luna is next)

Me: Luna, you don't need a guitar and multiple amps to rock out. (I pull out some recycled bottles)

Luna: What do I do with these?

[I blow into the bottles playing the Thomas the tank engine theme]

Luna: Ooh! I see now!

Me: (give them to her) Try em out!

Luna: (plays The Theme song to the Loud House) Rockin'! But what about my axe though? What am I gonna do with it now? Am I not allowed to play it anymore?

Me: No, you can still play it, but try to use less amplifiers, it uses less electricity.

Luna: Cool!

(Lola is next)

Me: Now, Lola, you don't need to use oil and gas for your car so much. It creates too many greenhouse gases and uses too many fossil fuels.

Lola: Then how am I supposed to use it, genius?

Me: Simple! (pulls out a sail)

Lola: What's that for?

Me: (puts the sail on the car) Now hop in!

Lola: (does so) Now what?

Me: (feels for wind) Good! The wind is blowing just right!

(The wind blows on the sail and Lola takes off.)

Lola: (cheers as she rides around) Woah! This is rad! Thanks, Noey!

Me: Anytime, princess!

(Next comes Lynn)

Me: You know Lynn there are other sports that don't involve frozen water.

Lynn: I know! But how else am I gonna practice for ice hockey?

Me: What about roller skating? It's kind of like ice skating but on the cement.

Lynn: Hm… You’re right!

Me: Try it out!

(Lynn puts on her roller skates, grabs her hockey stick and starts playing)

Lynn: Thanks, Nolan!

Me: No problem, champ!

(Cuts me and Lincoln walking down the stairs.)

Lincoln: Nolan... I don't know what you've been doing, but whatever it is, it is doing wonders to this family!

Me: Aw, no need to thank me. I was just happy to help out.

(Just then Rita comes in.)

Rita: Did I just see Lola using a sail to drive around?

Me: Yes. Yes you did.

Rita: (gasps) How did you get her to do that?

Me: Took a lot of convincing, and it's not just Lola. The entire family is going green!

Rita: That's amazing! Now I don't have to go out and spend my life earnings on the bills anymore!

Me: That's great, Miss Rita!

Rita: Oh, thank you, Nolan! You do not know how much this means to me!

(She picks me up, gives me a kiss on the cheek, and goes into her room.)

Lincoln: Hey, I just realized something.

Me: What?

Lincoln: All of my sisters have made their contributions, but I haven’t.

Me: Oh yeah. Maybe you just don’t do a lot energy consuming things.

Lincoln: Aw, that’s not fair! I wanna do my part! Give my contribution! I wanna be a team player!

Me: Oh yeah, I see your point. Hm, there's gotta be something you can do.

Lincoln: Hmm... Oh! I know what!

Me: What?

Lincoln: Follow me!

(Lincoln runs off and I go after him)

(Lincoln pulls out rechargeable batteries)

Me: What are those?

Lincoln: These are special kinds of batteries!

Me: What kind?

Lincoln: You know how my game consoles always end up draining the batteries and I have to keep throwing them out and using new ones? Well, this will solve that! I can just recycle batteries like this!

(Lincoln puts in the batteries into the battery charger plugged into the wall)

Lincoln: See? Recycling.

Me: But doesn't that use up electricity?

Lincoln: Yes... but don't worry it's not much.

Me: How much does it use up?

Lincoln: I dunno. I'll check. [Looks at manual and gasps] Uh... you don't wanna know.

Me: OK, that’s not gonna work. Let’s try something else.

(Me and Lincoln run outside)

Lincoln: How about growing a flower. That's always nice!

(Places seeds in dirt and sprinkles water on it)

Lincoln: Hm... maybe we could speed this up.

Me: No way. Nature can’t be rushed.

(Lincoln ignores my advice and pours more water into dirt. Lincoln gives a narrow stare and pours more. The watering can accidentally falls out Lincoln’s hand and floods the dirt, turning it into mud)

Lincoln: Whoops! I think I might have lost the seed...

Me: Not to mention you wasted an entire can of water…

Lincoln Dang it!

(Just then Lana passes by and notices the mud puddle.)

Lana: (gasps) MUD!!!!

(Lana runs to the puddle and splashes in it cover me and Lincoln.)

Lincoln: Great! Now I’ll need a shower and have to wash my clothes!

Me: I think I have a better idea.

(Cuts to us hosing off at my apartment.)

Me: OK, so we haven't figure out what your green thing is. But don't worry, we'll figure something out.

Lincoln: I don’t know, Nolan. Maybe I’m just not as cut out for being green as my family is. I’m just the odd one out.

Me: Don't worry, Lincoln. You'll do something really green one day.

THE NEXT DAY

(Me and Clyde are just arriving at school.)

Me: Hey, where's Lincoln?

Clyde: Beats me.

(Just then Lincoln comes in, looking very beaten and tired.)

Me: Lincoln, what happened to you?

Lincoln: I was trying to do something green by walking to school instead of using Vanzilla.

Clyde: Guessing it didn't turn out so good?

Lincoln: Well... at least no smoke got into the atmosphere.

Me: (to Clyde) Lincoln's been trying to do something environmental all day yesterday, but he hasn't had much success.

Clyde: Oh no.

Lincoln: (looks down) Face it. I'm not as good as being green as the rest of you guys.

Clyde: Isn't there a program you can participate in or something?

Lincoln: Oh yeah! I never thought of that.

Me: Is there a program like that?

Clyde: There are plenty of pro-environment programs in the world. Look some up and you'll find one.

Lincoln: That's it! Genius!

LATER

(Me, Lincoln and Clyde are looking up pro-environment programs.)

Clyde: Now let's see. What program can you join? Oh, look! There's the community service programs for cleaning up trash in the park!

Lincoln: (gasps) That’s perfect! Where do I sign up?

Clyde: Online here.

Lincoln: Sweet!

(Lincoln sings up.)

THE NEXT DAY

(We’re at the park picking up trash, me and Clyde decided to help Lincoln out and Lincoln has made a lot of progress.)

Lincoln: This is perfect! Finally something I'm good at! I'm on a roll here!

Clyde: Yeah, you’re a garbage picking master!

Me: See, Linc. I told you would find your thing eventually.

Lincoln: This is perfect for me! I’m always taking out the garbage at the house, so its like Im sort of doing it for nature for fight now. Thanks you guys!

Me: No problem, that's what friends are for.

(The three of us hug. Later, the Loud Family is all doing their own things, when Lincoln comes in.)

Lincoln: Hey guys, guys! Guess what?! I did something environmental!

Leni: Yay! Go Linky!

Lori: What was it?

Lincoln: I helped clean the park of garbage!

Luna: Nice work dude!

Lana: Lucky...

Lynn: Wow. Looks like taking out the trash really is your thing.

Lincoln: You bet it is.

Lynn Sr.: Good job, son. We're proud of you.

Lincoln: Thanks, Dad!

Lori: You know, I'm so glad Noah encouraged us to lower our carbon footprint.

Rita: I agree. Now I don't have to use up all of my life's earnings.

Lana: Our lives are gonna be so much easier and fun now!

(The rest of the family agrees.)

THE NEXT DAY

(I come into Lincoln’s room.)

Me: Hey, buddy. Ready to play some video games?

Lincoln: Sorry, Noah. No can do. I’ve gotta get to my park cleaning duties.

Me: Oh, okay. Can we play later, at my house?

Lincoln: Sure. Hey... thanks for helping me find my green thing. Now I feel like I'm actually doing something to do my part. And now, we won't have to worry about living in a post-apocalyptic world anymore.

Me: You know, Lincoln. We can’t be for sure that the world is gonna be post-apocalyptic just because some people aren’t doing their part, but we can do our best to make sure it doesn’t happen.

Lincoln: Agreed.

(We turn to the viewers.)

Lincoln: Remember kids, only you can prevent the apocalypse.

Me: Yeah, we’re counting on you.

(The Smokey Bear appears in the background.)

THE END