User blog:007Jamesdean/Phone Troubles

It starts in the Royal York park. Me, Varie, Vince, Carol, Cody, Hercules, Zoe, The Eds, Luan, Lincoln, Lilly, Laney, Sailor Mercury and Sailor Mars are relaxing and having fun playing.

Me: What a great day.

Varie: You said it.

Lincoln: Nothing to do but sit back and read comic books and enjoy the beautiful summer air.

Laney: You said it Lincoln.

Lilly: I agree Linky.

Luan: It sure is a SUMMER-al fun time! (Laughs to Rimshot) Get it?

We all laugh.

Me: (Laughs) That was a good one.

Cody: (Laughs) That was funny.

Eddy: (Laughs) Good one Luan.

Sailor Mercury: That was a good joke.

I then see someone putting dirt on a hole in the park 200 yards away.

Me: Looks like someone is burying something.

Hercules: I wonder what it is.

Zoe: Maybe we can find out what it is when he goes away.

Laney: That's a good idea.

He left 20 minutes later and we went to the hole and unearthed what he buried. It was a Swedish Telephone.

Me: He tried to bury a Swedish Telephone?

Eddy recognized it.

Eddy: (Fearful) Oh man! I know that phone all too well! That's Rolf's Cursed Telephone of Doom!

Varie: Cursed Telephone of Doom?

Laney: Why would you call a phone cursed?

Edd: Oh I remember this phone.

Ed: Me too.

Sailor Mars: How can a phone be cursed?

Me: That's what I would like to know too. This looks like an ordinary telephone to me. It's an 1896 Rikstelefon Phone. We haven't used these phones in over 100 years.

Vince: It's still in very good shape.

Aylene: It sure is.

Laney: It's a lovely telephone. I think it looks really cute.

Eddy: That phone brings whoever answers it bad luck. I had numerous incidents happen to me because of it.

Edd: I still think they were all coincidences.

Me: So this phone is a relic from Peach Creek?

Ed: Yep. I remember that phone. Eddy got hit with a lot of bad stuff because of it.

The phone rang.

Me: Lets test this baby out. Sailor Mars?

Sailor Mars: Okay. [Picks up the phone] Hello?

A bear trap snapped on Sailor Mars ankle and she screamed in pain.

Me: Oh man!

I get the trap off her and she was bleeding bad.

Eddy: That's a bad wound. See? That phone is cursed.

Me: I believe it. We'd better take it to Lucy. She might no what's going on.

In Lucy's room I knock on Lucy's coffin.

Lucy: Yes?

Me: Lucy. Sorry to bother you but we have an old telephone from The Eds time in Peach Creek and it's a Harbinger of Bad Luck.

Lucy opened her coffin and arose from it like Count Dracula.

Lucy: Let me see this phone.

I hand Lucy the phone.

Me: It's an old antique telephone from Sweden and it's also a relic from Peach Creek that brought bad luck to Eddy.

Lincoln: Yeah. Look what happened to Sailor Mars.

Lilly: A bear trap snapped on her leg because of it.

Lucy saw Sailor Mars' wound.

Lucy: Gasp! And you're right. This phone is cursed. It's the Cursed Phone of Hamingja.

Me: Let me see here.

I pull out my legends book and it had the cursed phone in it.

Me: Here it is. The Cursed Phone of Hamingja. This phone is said to have been cursed by the Norse Goddess of Luck - Hamingja. She cursed this phone to give one person bad luck. When they pick up the receiver and answer it that person will be struck by a painful bout of bad luck and the incidents will get worse with each time they answer it.

Eddy: That's exactly what happened to me.

Luan: That's awful Eddy.

Eddy: Yeah.

Zoe: Eddy what incidents came because of this phone?

Eddy: Let see.

Eddy went over the incidents and they are as follows:

1): A Record hit him in the head

2): A bedspring popped out and entangled him in it.

3): An Ice Cream cart hit him into the floor.

4): A Skunk Sprayed him.

5): A lamp post hit him.

6): A Concrete drain pipe rolled over him.

7): A Semi-truck ran over him.

8): A tree fell on him.

9): A Sandbox crashed onto him.

10): Trampled by a stampede of Hippos.

11): Struck by lightning.

12): His house collapsed onto him.

13): A Land Mine exploded on him.

14: A pack of wolves mauled him.

These crazy incidents were like Dark Luan's April Fools Rampages x10.

Me: That is awful Eddy.

Luan: That's worse than my April Fools Rampages that I've done. (Hugs Eddy) My poor Eddy Bear.

Edd: I thought these were all coincidences but now I see that they are all done by this accursed phone.

The Phone rang again.

Sailor Mercury: I still think it's all coincidence.

Me: Lets see if you're right Ami. (Picks up receiver) Hello?

Suddenly a stampede of Zebras appeared out of nowhere and trampled Sailor Mars.

They left 5 seconds later and Sailor Mars was a mess.

Ed: That phone is cursed!

Lucy: That's right.

Sailor Mercury: I still don't believe it.

Me: There's only one person that knows more about this cursed phone better than anyone else: Rolf. We have to go to Peach Creek, Georgia.

We went to Peach Creek and we arrived in 3 hours.

Me: Here we are.

Lincoln: So this is Peach Creek.

Lilly: It's a nice neighborhood.

Luan: Yeah. Until those stupid Kanker Sisters ruined it.

Eddy: That's right.

Lucy: This is a nice neighborhood though.

Varie: Which one is Rolf's house?

Eddy: [Points to a house] It's that one over there.

Vince: Nice house.

Aylene: It sure is.

We walk up and I knock on the door.

Rolf answered it.

Rolf: Can the son of a shepherd assist you.

Eddy: Rolf!

Rolf: Jawbreaker Ed-boy!

Rolf: How's it going stretch?

Rolf: I've been doing good Ed boy?

Edd: Greeting Rolf.

Ed: Hiya Rolf.

Rolf: Double D Ed Boy and Bundt-Cake-For-Brain Ed Boy? It's good to see you guys again.

Edd: You too Rolf.

Luan: Hey Rolf.

Rolf: Hello Luan Jokegirl.

Eddy: We came to you because a problem from your past has resurfaced in Royal York.

Me: Recognize this?

I hold up the Cursed Phone and Rolf gasped in shock!

Rolf: The Dispatcher of Despair! How did you get it!?

Me: We found it in Royal York park. Some man was burying it in the park and now Sailor Mars here is the target of the Cursed Phone's deadly power.

Eddy: How did you get this phone Rolf?

Rolf: (Sigh) Come on in.

We went in and sat down on Rolf's floor and sofa. The sofa was covered in plastic wrap.

Rolf: My great grandfather got that phone in Sweden many years ago and ever since then it's been a curse on my family for years.

Aylene: So it stems from family ties.

Cody: That's awful.

Hercules: Yeah.

Zoe: And every time this phone is answered Sailor Mars will be thrashed by a deadly incident of Bad Luck.

Sailor Mercury: I still say that Bad Luck is not real.

Me: That may be Ami but this phone must be destroyed.

Carol: We can't bury it again so we have to burn it.

Sailor Mars: I agree. That phone almost destroyed me.

Ed: Yeah.

Lilly: That's awful.

Me: I know one place where we can be rid of this phone forever. I'm going to throw it into the Sun.

Edd: The Sun will vaporize it instantly.

Me: It will.

I take the phone and head out into space and when I was about 35 million miles away from the Sun I threw it towards it and saw the phone get obliterated in an instant.

Me: (Echoing) That's that.

I fly back to Earth and landed by them.

Eddy: Is it done?

Me: Yes. The phone has been completely destroyed.

They all cheered.

An evil ghostly smoke appeared by us.

Spirit: You're monkey people ALL OF YOU!

It disintegrated and was gone for good.

Lucy: That was the evil spirit of the phone.

Edd: Good riddence.

Eddy: You said it.

Luan: I'm glad that phone is gone forever.

Sailor Mars: Me too.

Varie: We've now seen the last of the Cursed Phone of Hamingja.

Cody: That's right.

Zoe: This time for good.

Hercules: That's a fact.

Me: Thanks for your help Rolf.

Rolf: My pleasure J.D.

Edd: It was good to see you again Rolf.

Rolf: You too Double D Ed Boy and you as well Bundt-Cake-For-Brain Ed Boy.

Ed: Thanks Rolf.

Me: Lets go home guys.

Lincoln: Yeah.

We all went back home and at Dinner we told everyone everything that went down.

Lori: So Sailor Mars was experiencing a case of bad luck because of a telephone?

Me: Yeah. Believe it or not guys, the phone was an antique Swedish Telephone that was cursed by Hamingja - the Goddess of Luck in Norse Myth.

Eddy: It was a relic from our time in Peach Creek and it gave me really bad luck.

Varie: Yeah.

Lucy: The incidents Eddy said were terrible. They make the April Fools Rampages Luan did look like childs play compared to it.

Luna: That is crazy dudes!

Sam: It sure is.

Lisa: Ach Poppycock. There is absolutely no way a Telecommunications Device; Street name: Telephone can be a cursed object of bad luck and superstition.

Lynn: That is very strange. I may be superstitious when it comes to sports but a phone like that is way too much.

Laney: No kidding. But Eddy that must've been horrible what you went through.

Eddy: It was Laney.

Natilee: I've always been a very strong believer in the Luck of The Irish but that is a cursed phone from the darkest pits of the Netherworld itself.

Brittney: Yeah. But we're glad it's gone forever.

Jared: Me too.

Leni: Like. This phone is Totes out of style. It doesn't match the latest fashion trends.

Lily: I agree with Natilee. A phone like that should've been destroyed the minute it was found.

Edd: I agree with you Lily.

Ed: Same here.

Me: But you guys have to admit. That was a really crazy Ed-Venture. (Rimshot and Everyone laughs)

Luan: (Laughs) Good one J.D.

Me: Thank you Luan.

Varie: That was funny.

We had a really good dinner and got ready to hit the hay.

THE END.

Another Fanfiction complete.

NicoChan11 gave me the idea for this one. Thanks for the idea and the great story. Sorry, Wrong Ed is one of my favorite episodes from Ed Edd N Eddy. That one was really funny and it was a crazy episode. I call that episode the No Such Luck of Ed Edd N Eddy but on a crazy and strange level. It was really funny and not as bad as the infamous episode. I didn't know how to set this one up because I was given so many ideas for it. But I put it all together.

Let me know what you all think.

See you all next time.