User blog:FirstDrellSpectre/Fanfiction - Snow Hell

My 24th fanfiction. WIP

T-rated (blood, violence)

Synopsis
Lincoln, Luan and Lucy get separated from family by an avalanche and try to return to them.

Story
Winter time, Alaska, Vanzilla is going slowly through snowy road. Lynn Sr. is driving the car, Lori is holding Lily and Leni is holding Leo.

Lincoln: [to the audience] We're going through Alaska for funeral of a relative I've never met. I am not happy about it but a family is a family.

Lucy: I like funerals, it's quiet, all wear black and another poor soul joins spirit society.

Luan: How can you like celebrating of someone's death? It's devastating!

Lucy: Exacly.

Lincoln: Girls, can you argue quitter? I try to read my comic and in this fur it's inconvinient.

Luna: Dude, drop this comic and sing a road song with me!

Rita: No! If you sing you'll cause and avalanche!

Luna: Can I whistle then? [she gets sad on sight of Rita shaking head for "no"] or at least I hum?

Rita: Fine.

Luna: [she hums something and after some time she knockig her knees like she was playing on drums]

Lori: Stop it! You'll literally wake Lily and Leo up!

Lisa: And you're interrupting my Sudoku.

Luna: Come on, dudes, this trip is so boring. Nothing happens around.

Lola: [sarcastically] Then could you go sleep out of this boredom? I'll take some beauty sleep. [she closes eyes and starts breathing]

Lynn: Hey, bro, catch this. [she attempts to throw a tennis ball to Lincoln]

Rita: Lynn Jr. no playing at the van!

Lynn: This boredom is making me crazy!

Leni: I took some fashion magazines, you can read them if you're bored.

Lynn: No thanks. You know I dislike reading.

Lisa: And that's why I need to constantly tutor you.

Lana: Why don't you turn the radio on, dad?

Lisa: The weather disturbs radio waves so listening to the radio is impossible. If you're bored, then repeat alphabet.

Lana: I found a cool way to remember this. [she burped alphabet]

Lily and Leo: Waah!

Lori: Gross over gross! Lana you woke up our baby siblings!

Leni: And Leo sweats on me from fear.

Lincoln: Ehh, I don't think it's sweat.

Lola: Eww. You have less class than Lincoln. If you keep doing this our baby siblings will be as gross as you!

Lana: Cool to have such younger siblings.

Lynn Sr.: Kids, we need to stop on the fuel station.

Luan: To fill the fuel. [laugh]

Leni: And I can clean my cloth and change Leo's diaper.

To kill some time Lana was building a snowman. Luan joined and built a snowman in form of a bunny, then Lana built a frog, then Luan built a badger. Lucy appeared behind them, spooking them. She joined them and built a snowman in form monster.

Luan: What's that supposed to be?

Lucy: An all-eating monster.

Luan: You're so mean!

Lucy: You know what's wrong with cuteness? It's transistory.

Luan: Don't annoy me! Your nihilism kills my humorous mood!

Lucy: Laugh is an illusion that covers brutal reality!

Lana: Lincoln, make them stop. You're the peacemaker.

Lincoln: [sigh] Fine.

Lana: Good, I'm going to toilet then.

Lincoln: Girls! Stop!

Luan and Lucy: What do you want!

Lincoln: I want you to stop arguing! Especially for petty things.

Argument of the three siblings caused snow from mountains fall it turned into an avalanche. Rita summoned her children to the fuel station. However Lucy, Luan and Lincoln were too far and argued too loudly to hear their mom. The avalanche cought them and separated from rest of the family.

Lincoln: No, NO....

Luan: [covering Lincoln' mouth] Please don't scream or you'll cause another avalanche.

Lucy: We're far from our family! We're in middle of nowhere! We're doomed!

Luan: Don't say such things! We can still return!

Lucy: Don't deny the fact we're in a deadly dangerous place!

Luan: Why do you have to be such defeatist?!

Lucy: Who are you to tell me what to say?

Lincoln: [he throws snowballs on the sisters] Stop! This argument leads us nowhere. Answer simple question "Do you want to return to our family or not?".

Luan: Of course I want to.

Lucy: Me too, but...

Lincoln: No buts! Let's go. But first use your phones to contact our parents.

Luan: Oh no! We're out of field!

Lucy: Let's climb. [she tried to climb on the mountain but fell] It's too steep and too slippery to climb back!

Luan: Then we need to walk around the mountain.

Lincoln: Then it will be a very long walk.

Luan: I know you don't like physical efforts but otherwise we'll turn into living snowmen.

Lincoln: We need to return before sunset because on Alaska night lasts 6 months.

Lucy: Alaskans are lucky. 6 months of darkness.

Luan: Do they sleep six months? They can have very long sleepover.

Lincoln: This is serious! When the polar night starts the temperature gets much lower and we'll freeze there to death.

Lucy: Death fascinates me but not so much to experience it myself.

Lincoln, Lucy and Luan began walking to west. Unfortunatelly wind arrived, so strong that the siblings felt wounded in cheeks.

Lincoln: This frost is literally scratching our cheeks! I feel like a cat scratched me.

Luan: We need a shelter!

Lucy: How? Around is nothing but snow!

Lincoln: Exacly, let's build a small igloo.

The siblings tried to build a shelter from snow but the wind made it impossible. Lucy pointed a cave so they went inside to protect themselves from the wind.

Luan: We must wait till the wind stops giving us cold reception. [laugh] Get it?

Lucy: We're dying and you're in mood for dumb jokes?

Luan: Don't say we're going to die!

Lucy: Unlike you I can face the harsh reality!

Lincoln: STOP! Our situation is bad enough we need no arguments to make it worse!

Lucy: At least you see how serious it is. [her stomach growled] I'm hungry.

Lincoln: Me too. But how can we find anything to eat? There is nothing but lichens in this cave.

Luan: Guys, I hope it's eatable.

Lucy: I am sure it's bitter and I'll return it after first bite.

Luan: You didn't try and you already claim it tastes awful.

Lincoln: This time I'm with Luan. I rather eat gross food than starve to death.

Lucy: Fine.

Lincoln, Lucy and Luan: [they try lichens] YUCK!

Lucy: I told it's bitter!

Lincoln: Try to put it on side of your tongue that doesn't feel bitter and then swollow it.

Luan: I'll buy a hamburger after we return to civillisation. The wind doesn't disappear. I can tell you some jokes.

Lucy: I rather wait in silence.

Lincoln: Even bad jokes can release stress.

Luan: Hey! Don't call my jokes bad before you hear them! What do you get from sitting on the snow too long? Polaroids! [laugh] Get it?

Lucy: Not funny.

Luan: Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce? Because he thought his wife was a flake ! [laugh] Get it?

Lucy: Listen to my new poem called "Snow Hell". Only snow around to face, Lost in deeply frozen heart of Alaska, We can wait for demise.

Luan: You just made me depressed!

Lincoln: My turn. If you live in an igloo made of snow, what's the worst thing about global warming? No privacy! 

Luan: [laugh] That's a good one. Lucy: [angry] How can you two joke around when we're lost in heart of thundra?!

Luan: I know you're stressed but so I am. Jokes are my way to get rid of this stress.

Lucy: Do you really fail to see our situation is hopeless?!

Luan: Through this blizzard I can't see even my own nose. [laugh] Maybe you think it's hopeless because you don't see hope through the blizzard.[laugh]

Lucy: [furious scream] Aaah! [she run from the cave in fury]

Lincoln: Luan! You just angried her. Stay here I'll deal with this.

Luan: Luan, you moron! Sometimes I really talk too much.

Lucy was running angry, sobbing. She didn't go far because Lincoln grabbed her.

Lincoln: Where do you think you're going?!

Lucy: [sobbing] I wanna go home!

Lincoln: Are you crying?

Lucy: [angry and sad] Of course! How else shall I react?! I am a human being just like you!

Lincoln: Why are you angry at me?

Lucy: I am generally angry at everything because I fear we won't survive.

Lincoln: In this blizzard you surely will not survive. What were you thinking?

Lucy: I just wanted to not be there. I wanted to go home even in this blizzard.

Lincoln: Let's go back to Luan in the cave.

Luan: Guys! We must leave!

Lincoln: What happened?

Luan: No time to explain! Run to the forest!

The siblings escaped to the forest and there they barely breathed because they were tired.

Luan: I'm sorry, Lucy. I just wanted to cheer you up.

Lucy: I'm sorry for running away. I didn't think rationally I just wanted to no longer be there.

Luan: Don't be too harsh for yourself. This cave was inhabited by a cougar.

Lincoln: How did you get lost it?

Luan: Don't tell anyone but I dstracted it by my stinky bombs.

Lincoln: You planned to pull a prank to us with those bomb!

Luan: True but it doesn't matter now. We escaped from the cougar. Lucy, you have icicles on your cheeks. [laugh]

Lucy: Stupid tears!

Lincoln: There is no shame in crying when we're in trouble. I cry when I have good reason to.

Luan: Actually you cry more often than any of us.

Lincoln: Your mocking doesn't work as I said I am not ashamed of crying.

Lucy: Enough! Did you forget we wanna go home? Let's move.

The siblings were walking through forest, they felt hunger and tried to find something to eat but there was nothing. Suddenly Lucy stepped on a hidden bear trap and it clamped on her leg.

Lucy: [scream in agony] Aaaah!

Luan: You scream like dying.

Lincoln: This isn't funny. Help me free her.

Lucy: Leave me and save yourselves!

Lincoln: Non-sense! We're returning together!

Luan: That's what family is for!

The trap was very strong and Lucy's leg was bleeding, she couldn't stop screaming from this pain. Luan and Lincoln put a lot of effort to release their sister's leg.

Lucy: [crying] IT HURTS! I CAN'T WALK!

Luan: You're bleeding. We must stop it! I don't have bandages.

Lincoln: I have a scarf, I can use it like a bandage! [he took care of Lucy's leg]

Lucy: Thank you guys but I still can't walk.

Luan: We will carry you.

Lucy: Do you remember when I said I want to experience a shark attack? I retract this!

Lincoln: We must be careful. There must be more such traps.

Luan: Blasted poachers! They should fell in those traps!

Lucy: I will only slow you down. Leave me here to my fate so you would have bigger chances to survive.

Lincoln: We won't leave you. [insidiously] Besides even if we do and reach our parents, they won't let your corpse rot here. They will return here with us and they will most likely lose sanity on sight of your skeleton.

Luan: [disgusted] Brother, that was sick. You were creepier than her.

Lincoln: One death, 14 victims, you would lose life, parents a daughter and we a sister. Besides parents would kill us for leaving you to die.

Lucy:  You're right. How could I even think about it? I don't wanna you suffer because of me.

Luan: Your state is not your fault but that poacher's fault. Let's move and Lincoln, use a stick to check if there aren't more traps before us.

Lincoln was supporting Lucy in walking. However she suffered during walk so Lincoln began carrying her on his back. Lucy felt embarassed because she couldn't move independently. Luan was waving with a stick to check if there are traps before them, they found many traps. Suddenly the siblings heard a quiet roaring.

Lincoln: Lucy, I get you suffer but to roar from pain?

Lucy: What? I am too tired to roar, I used most of energy for scream.

Lincoln: Then what's this sound?

Luan: So you also heard it, that means I am not crazy yet.

Lincoln: Craziness is a matter of POV.

Lucy: Not the point!

The siblings turned around and detected a croaching lynx. They realised it followed smell of Lucy's blood.

Lincoln: Luan, make him leave by your sinky bombs!

Luan: I used them all on the cougar.

Lucy: We also disabled the traps that could stop the lynx!

Lincoln: What a cruel irony.

Luan run on left and Lincoln with Lucy on right, the lynx chased the latter. Lincoln fell from exhaustion and the lynx was aproaching him.

Lincoln: I'm sorry I failed to save you.

Lucy: Yelling won't help. At least we die together.

Lincoln: Or maybe yelling can help. Scream!

Lucy: Why?

Lincoln: Just do it!

Lucy and Lincoln angrily screamed much to the lynx's annoyance. The lynx run away because it couldn't bear the loud screaming anymore.

Lucy: I was sure it's gonna devour us.

Lincoln: Now we must find Luan.

TBC

Trivia

 * This is my 4th survival story after Lost on the Open Ocean, Responsibility Issues and The Great Louddoors
 * Luna's dialogue with her mom is a reference to 2001 animated film "Shrek".
 * Snow jokes are taken from http://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/weatherjokes/snowjokes.html