User blog:InklingBear/Life of Pets - Go, Dog. Go!

Story #25 - Go Dog, Go!
 12:30pm

It's a somewhat humid day down the good neighborhood of Royal Woods. A sunny day, almost at the end of the week with little to no chance of any precipitation from the white clouds above. The siblings always have to survive hours of school at a time like this. They're only about halfway finished by now. Who's to say that they're at their lunch period at this precise moment? Chances are, it could be accurate. They couldn't wait to get back home to enjoy another weekend to do whatever their mind desired.

To fill in the empty void for their remaining hours of solitude, the four pets sat in front of the television. They were all engaged in a video game based on formula drag racing. Charles and Cliff tampered around with their respective controllers as they raced one another to be the first to reach the finish line. It's the final lap, the homestretch. The dog was in the lead by a few feet while the cat slowly crept up from behind.

"Ya tink dat first place trophy's gonna be yers, ya got another ting comin'!" Cliff spat.

"Den bring it, cat," Charles dared. "Ya got nothin' on yer tail dat's gonna turn dis game around!"

Walt was on the cat's side while Geo was on the dog's side. They both cheered the two animals on as they approached closer to the finish line.

"Come on, cat," Walt uttered. "Put that mutt in the dust!"

"You can do this, dog," Geo said. "Nothing can stop you now!"

The two pets were neck and neck. Their vehicle's accelerators were at full speed as the two shared a glare towards their rival. Almost there and...


 * ZOOM*

Charles managed to win the racing match by a nose. Several unique reactions from all parties started to ensue from the final result.

"Aroo! Eat it, cat!" Charles taunted.

Cliff threw his controller at the carpet. "Dis game is rigged!" he spat.

"I'm so mad right now." Walt added.

"Says the bird with the biggest understatement ever!" Geo said, influencing Walt to glare at the hamster. "That was a close one!"

The brown hamster and the dog shared a high five for their best efforts put together to win their match. Charles set his controller down to the side. He figured rubbing it in the cat's face would be enough after taunt after taunt was thrown around. Eyes gazing towards the salty feline, he asked, "Dat was a good round, huh cat?"

Cliff smirked before he shifted towards the dog. "Hmph. Ya tink yer so good at dis drivin' ting, why don'tcha do dat fer real?" he suggested.

"Now, what are ya drivin' at wit' dis?"

"I'm sayin', drive a real vehicle fer once in yer lifespan."

Geo and Walt shared a glance. They weren't a hundred percent sure with the cat's little suggestion. Who knows? The two thought it could be fun. Instead of stepping in, being the voice of reason once again like they usually do, they just sat back and let this entire situation unfold.

Charles scoffed. "Yer crazy, cat." he answered. "Why would I wanna do somethin' like dat?"

"What's dat matter, mutt?" Cliff taunted. "Ya chicken? A wuss? From the looks of it, yer like a little-"

Geo gulped while Walt attempted to contaminate his silent snickering. Getting called out like that made Charles raucously growl towards him.

"I ain't none 'a dose tings!" the pup retorted. He wasn't willing to let anything taint his current status at this precise moment. Especially from a snarky black cat like Cliff himself. He wanted to prove him wrong, one way or another.

"When I get my paws on da keys to da car, I'll show you who's da wuss in dis house, puss."

Not long after the dog delivered his daring rebuttal to the prissy cat, the front door opened wide. Lynn Sr. and Rita returned from doing couple bit of errands as well as a car wash. The first thing they observed was just the pets sitting there, staring at the two human beings as if they were complete strangers.

"Hey Charles, Cliff, Geo, Walt." the father of the house uttered, setting his keys to the family van down next to the television stand. "I've got the good stuff! I'll be in the kitchen unpacking!"

"Wait a sec." Rita uttered to her husband. Before the father could move another inch to the kitchen interior, she pulled a can from one of the bags. It was a brand new air freshener she was waiting to try out. "I can't wait to try this new black ice air freshener blend out on all the rooms. Especially Lana and Lola's bedroom. They really, really need it. It's like a pig pen in there."

She sprayed the freshener out, intent to test it on the living room first before she would soon ascend the staircase. The aroma spread around the longer she pressed down on the tip. "Isn't this a nice selection that I decided to go with at the last minute?" she asked.

The freshener was in range with the four pets. Its scent crossing paths with their sensitive nostrils, causing them sans Geo to widen their eyes in aghast. "I dunno honey, is it?" the father responded.

Charles, Cliff, even Walt tried to waft the scent away. It was no use to them. The spray continued to overbear their sense of smell before the three just decided to book it to the dining room, leaving the hamster in solitude on the couch.

"I think so?" Rita reassured. "Last time I heard, it was one of the more popular fresheners they had on the market." She stopped spraying the living room now. "I think this is a good fragrance. Now to tackle those bedrooms." She made her way up the stairs with nothing more to add to the subject.

"Alright, hun!" the father concluded as he began to unpack his items.

Charles, Cliff, and Walt popped their heads back into the living room. Their eyes gazing upon the keys to Vanzilla on the television stand. As their eyes shook softly in excitement, Cliff shifted his sights on the white hound with a smirk and a glare. This was their chance. Who knows when it'll occur again?

"Well?" Cliff uttered.

Charles took a big gulp. He stared directly at the shining, gleaming vehicle keys for a brief moment. His thought bubble consisted of him driving down Ketcham Park with a pair of shades on his face as several other animals watched in awe. The dog pulled his shades down, winking at the dogs with a smile. "Ya pups up fer da ride of yer life?" he said.

Without any regard after his thought bubble poofed, the dog figured what the heck. He walked up to the TV stand and swiped the keys from it.

A few minutes later, the pets sans Geo were outside next to Vanzilla, with the driver door left halfway open. Charles acted nervous in front of his two companions as he started to jiggle his feet for a brief moment. He looked over to Cliff and Walt before breaking the silence.

"A-are ya sure 'bout dis, cat?" the hound anxiously uttered.

"I'm a hundred percent sure 'bout dis, dog." Cliff answered. "It's da only way ta prove yer skills dat ya probably don't have."

"Just so you two know, as much as this seems interesting to see with my own eyes, I don't want any part of this." Walt added.

"Okay den, go on 'n miss out on all da fun we're 'bout ta have." Cliff said to Walt.

"W-we?" Charles said, putting his gaze upon the cat. "I mean... yeah! All da fun dat's gonna go down!" He put a paw around his feline companion.

"Wouldn't ya know it, pal." Cliff uttered before Walt flew off to do whatever with his time. "When we hit over eighty-eight miles an hour, yer gonna see some serious chiz." He hopped in the van. "Now let's get dis over wit' 'n hop on in dis here... v-van. Dat's right. I tink."

And with that, Charles did without a second to hesitate.

Checking their surroundings, they made sure nobody was batting an eye toward the two. Charles inserted the key in the ignition and turned it on. Vroom went the engine. Oh dear.

"Alright, I'll be down here, workin' the gas 'n the brake panels, since we both know ya can't reach 'em." Cliff said looking up to the anxious pup. That way, they could take full control the van.

"Okay den..." Charles replied before he gulped once more. "At least listen out fer when I tell ya to punch it or brake."

"Ya ain't gotta tell me twice..."

The nervous white hound looked at the gears located next to the steering wheel. Growing a little confident not long after, he shifted the gears from park to reverse before giving a command the feline.

"Hit da gas, cat." Charles spat. The cat did so immediately, only for the van to quickly run into the back of some bushes across the street. "Stop!" He turned the wheel, intending to get it back on the road before he altered the gear to drive. He growled a brief moment fore he said, "Let's roll."

The feline pressed down on the gas panel as Vanzilla was moving again. Making a right turn, the driver's door slammed shut as it approached back on the road. Finally, the two were getting somewhere.

What crazy antics will ensue for the two pets on the road ahead? Was Cliff that determined to prove his daring point about Charles' skills? Will they even make it back with the vehicle still intact after taking it out? There was only one way to find out. Life in the Loud house is indeed a huge mystery.

"I feel da need fer somethin' dog." Cliff said.

Charles raised a brow. Although he may be a bit anxious to see where the cat was going, his curiosity soon overcame his mind. "W-what?" he said.

Cliff squinted his eyes in determination. "Da need. Fer speed!" He pressed down on the gas a bit more. The van's speed reaching well over the speed limit of the neighborhood, which was twenty five. Being caught way off guard by the sudden change in speed, Charles started swerving. He yelped as he came close to hitting any stationary vehicles and objects.

"What da heck do ya tink yer doin', cat?!" he exclaimed.

Cliff looked up to the dog. "Ya said yer good at dis drivin' ting!" he said. "What are ya complainin' fer?"

"I did say dat, but-"

The dog accidentally swerved on the sidewalk now. He ran over a couple of garbage bins, spilling the contents over the ground. Anger filled him by a tad, shifting his eyes down on the feline as he dangerously let his paws off the wheel. "Oh great! Ya made me knock over some trash bins!"

Cliff jumped a bit, taking notice of the dog looking down at him. "Dog, put yer eyes back on da road!"

Charles obeyed instantly, grabbing the wheel again. "Yipe!"

By now, they were nowhere in the neighborhood anymore. Veering right off the road, they ran right into Liam's farm, bursting through without a care. As his animals were let loose on the field, Liam came out to scold the out of control vehicle, shaking his fist.

"Yer gonna pay for this, ya hooligans!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

His beloved pig was in the vehicle with the two now in the passenger's seat. She oinked to them in complete shock.

"We stole somebody's mud lovin' pig?!" Cliff uttered anxiously.

"Scuse you, the name's Virginia, hun." the pig retorted before oinking.

"Great Scott," Charles uttered. "I dunno if I can keep doin' this!"

Not long after after they returned back on the road, the hound unintentionally ran over a speed bump during swift speeds. The unexpected altitude of the vehicle had the animals spring in midair, hitting the top of the vehicle before landing back into their same positions as before.

They were temporarily dizzy for a moment. Losing control of the vehicle for the second time, it veered off the road again. They passed by a police car on high alert before it finally got back on the road. The man in blue had never seen something like this for months. He was ready for yet another exciting chase to catch their lawbreaker and possibly ticket or jail them.

"This is my favorite part of being in the force." the man said, before he followed Vanzilla without a second to spare.

It was a high speed chase now. The sound of blaring sirens made the animals hearts race. After the three collected themselves, Charles quickly glanced over to the mirror to spot a squad car about to get hot on their tails.

"Hey! Pull your vehicle over, right now!" The cop commanded.

The hound let out a quick gasp. "Cheese it, it's da fuzz!" he loudly uttered.

"Aw no," Cliff reacted. "What is dis? A seventies show?"

Panicking, Charles commanded to the cat, "Hurry, hit da gas!"

And so, Cliff did. As they sped down the road in a desperate attempt to get away from the squad car, the dog tried his absolute best not to run into anything that's in their way. Out of the blue, a foul stench spread across the van's interior as it infiltrated Charles' nostrils. Nauseated, the hound wafted the air before glancing towards the feline for a brief moment. He figured that he was the one responsible for it's sudden odor.

"I didn't mean literally, cat!" he said.

"How dare ya point yer accusation on me!" Cliff retorted, crossing his paws. "I'm personally offended."

"I'm sorry," Virginia shamelessly admitted. "It happens when I'm scared..."

The two pets were completely aghast. "Did ya really just..." Cliff said, before the pig elicited a sheepish smile, complete with a shade of red on her face.

"Yer disgustin' dere, pig." Charles said.

Cliff smirked. "Dis comin' from da dog dat once peed in dis van?"

That snarky comment alone had Charles growling and Virginia smiling to him in response. "If this took place in the streets, you'd rack up to about two stars by now." the pig commented, trembling in fear.

To no avail, the cop car was still behind them. Determined to catch his criminal, the man tried one of his tactics he learned in the force to stop their runaway vehicle.

Pitting.

As the car pulled up to the side of Vanzilla, Charles was already scared out of his mind. "Did you not hear me? I said, pull over!" the cop shouted. The tip of his car rammed into the side of the van, prompting Charles to temporarily lose control of the vehicle. Swerving ensued as he tried to get control back. The more the cop pushed into the van, Charles had to come up with a counter plan.

"Brake!" the dog shouted, turning the wheel. As the vehicle turned around, The cop car veered off the road, crashing into a tree just ahead. The unexpected result of the animals outwitting a cop car had painted a surprising smile on their faces.

They couldn't believe that just happened. Normally, it would be the other way around but this one turned out to be an interesting exception. The animals cheered from this before they returned to getting back to their somewhat interesting joyride.

"I'm surprised dat turned out well." Charles said while the other two animals nodded in agreement. Determined, he sent another command to Cliff before he threw on some shades he found in the vehicle. "Gas!"

Vroom went Vanzilla, once again, zipping away from the scene. The cop was down, but he wasn't ready to let whoever it was get away. Determined, he called to the rest of the force.

"Officer down... c-calling in for backup..."

 1:00pm

About a half hour into the day, the animals were at the Burpin' Burger joint drive thru. As the hound pulled up to the menu board just outside the building, he shouted another command. "Brake!"

A voice reached out to Charles over the intercom. "Welcome, and thank you for choosing Burpin' Burger today," a worker said. "What can I get for you?"

The hound looked to the cat and the pig. "Ya guys want somethin'?"

"I'll take a nine, hound." Virginia requested.

"Gimme whatever da pig's havin'." Cliff added.

The pig placed her hooves on her hips. "Again, the name's Virginia!"

Charles turned to the intercom and started his order, loud and clear. "I'll have two number nines... a number six wit' sum dip. A number seven, two number fives, extra bacon, and a large water!"

Cliff shook his head as he rolled his eyes. "Dere's somethin' not right about dat mutt..." he thought, before he let out a sigh.

"That racks up to thirty five dollars and forty two cents," the worker said. "Please pull forward."

As the employee himself grabs the animals' bags of grub, waiting right at the window. Vanzilla pulled right next to it by chance. The sight of seeing only a dog and a pig in the vehicle had the employee really fazed. He threw the bags into the van as the dog handed the cash to the employee before Cliff stepped on the gas yet again as the vehicle drove off.

The man rubbed his head. He felt like this was some sort of hallucination he'd been experiencing just now. "N-now I have seen everything..."

Not a moment soon after, the pets were back on the road, chowing down on their grub.

"Make that three stars." Virginia said.

"Hmph. Ya got dat right." Cliff agreed. "And I hafta say dere, dog. I completely underestimated ya fer a sec dere. I thought you couldn't prove ta me that you couldn't drive a real vehicle like dis, but turns out dat I was-"

"Gas!" Charles commanded, growling at something that grabbed his sights. Speeding up, he made a slight turn next to the Green Mile Pet Sanctuary.

Cliff gulped. "What are ya doin' up dere?"

"Somethin' dat we've shoulda done a long time ago!"

Before Cliff and Virginia could let out a terrified squeal and a meow, the van struck the side of the building, breaking into the interior, bursting out the other side. There was nothing more satisfying to the white hound as several of his kind was finally able to roam free from the terrible place. Happy barking and howling ensued as they all scattered around the premises.

Not only that, they managed to pick up a quarter dozen new dogs and some cats along in the van. Even though they have no amount of knowledge they gathered from one another, they still felt the nerve to give Charles credit for their breakout.

"That... was... awesome!" the three dogs said simultaneously.

"Ya bet yer tail it was." Charles replied, giving the three pups a wink.

"And that makes four." Virginia said.

"Thanks so much!"

Checking the time in the vehicle as it currently read ten minutes to one thirty in the afternoon, Charles panicked. They had half an hour left before Rita and senior Lynn uses the van to pick up their kids from school.

"Ruh-roh." the dog exclaimed. "We've gotta get back home, cat!"

"Why, what's goin' on now?" Cliff curiously asked.

"Parents, picking up kids! School! We don't have much time!"

"Ya want me ta step on da gas?"

"Ya obviously know da answer ta dat! Let's get a move on!"

Speeding down the road again, the van crossed paths with a group of people called the Juegos and the Valests. Small amount of trash talk later, both parties were about to square up with one another as they approached closer. As Vanzilla almost ran into one of the dudes, the leader instantly lost it.

"Aye, y'all trippin' there, jerks!" Juego spat, pulling out his paintball gun as the rest would soon follow. Their group shot their red paintball ammo at the van nonstop, chasing them down before the Valest group did the same thing. "Y'all insane!" Valest added. "Take that!"

Anxiousness filled the animals inside the speeding vehicle as it was currently being pelted with paintballs. Half of them started yelping as multiple sounds of the impact hit the exterior.

"Are dey shootin' at us?!" Cliff nervously said, all shook up.

"Yeah!" a few animal passengers in the back uttered.

Charles looked at the mirrors. He growled at the red splatters on the vehicle. "Dere goes dat brand new paint job..."

"What do we do, dog?!" Virginia said to the designated driver. "Five stars by the way."

"Dere on foot ya guys," Charles answered with tranquil fear. "It's gonna be a good chance dey'll never catch us."

The pelting finally died down now. Cliff had to think to himself for a bit as he was partially responsible for all the events that led to this result. He felt so bad. Because of him, there's going to be a good chance of getting kicked out into the streets. If there was a chance that he could make that apology towards the dog, now wasn't the time.

He sighed.

"If only we had just a bit more time, we could take dis baby to da car wash." Charles said. "But I'm sure we've got enough stuff at da house ta pull dis off!"

By chance alone, the dog had no choice but to make a change of plans with the time he had left to get back to the house. As if one cop car wasn't bad enough for them to handle, he was facing three more cop cars hot on his tail. Blaring sirens ensued as they followed the tainted van on the road. They were determined to not let the pets out of their sights this time.

Looking through the rear view window, Charles growled. "Ya got ta be kiddin' me right now." he irritably said.

"This again?!" Virginia exclaimed.

"Ay carumba, we can't seem ta catch a break today!" Cliff spat.

"Step on it!" Charles commanded.

Picking up speed, it looked like they were going to outrun the law once again. The hound himself thought if the first one happened to be a cinch to them, this round wouldn't be any different. Turns out, he would be totally wrong. The two cop cars picked up the pace, determined to catch the van no matter what it takes. What lives, or anything in the town would be risked.

Coming up towards an intersection with a yellow light, getting ready to switch to red, Virginia and the strays start to yelp in fear.

"Somebody do somethin'!"

"Cat, don'tcha stop!" Charles said.

"Just how crazy are ya?!" the cat said.

Squinting his eyes, filling up on determination, the hound spat, "...Dis crazy!"

There was no turning back from there. The dog could barely even think. As the van approached closer to an intersection, it surprisingly passed right through, just before the light changed to red. The cops had no choice but to abruptly throw on their breaks as cars were moving from the intersection. They had no choice but to wait this out.

"Dang it." a cop said. "I swear on my soul, before this day is over, we apprehend that sick son of a lawbreaking chump."

 1:50pm

With just a few minutes left to spare, they were able to arrive back into the neighborhood of Royal Woods. Still rushing in at high speeds, the dog looked around for the Loud house.

"Where is it? Where is it?" he uttered to himself before the house he searched for was finally in range. He gasped in excitement upon seeing it with his own eyes. "Dere it is!"

After making a sharp turn into the driveway, Charles shouted out one final command for the cat to input. "Brake!"

Vanzilla stopped abruptly, throwing everybody in the van into the windshields in front of them. A few blinks later, they all slid down to the floor.

They were finally home, but they had another problem to take care of. Vanzilla was covered in red, several dents made to the front of the vehicle, and even all the animals they picked up from their joyride. It was time for the animals to work together and fix up the vehicle to look good as new, once again. They all rushed in the garage and got the plunger, hose and the towels and got down to work.

With just three minutes left, the animals all wiped the vehicle down, after a good, and thorough rinse job. Charles and Cliff took care of the rims while, the pig and the rescued strays took care of the windshields, seats, the dents, as well as the shining bumpers.

That was part two of their mission, complete and out of the way. Job well done, Charles and Cliff gave a high five to each other. All that was left was to get rid of the animals.

"Great work ya guys," Charles said. "Now go on, scat!"

And with that, they all scattered to roam around as they please. Charles leaped inside the van to retrieve the keys before he closed the door, zipping to the back of the house. It was all over and done. Finally they could put all of this behind themselves. They were somewhat surprised that none of the parents had found out their van was missing this entire time. Were they really that oblivious to everything that was going on? Who knows.

Back inside, Charles set the keys down, back to where he got them from. Cliff made his way to the couch with Geo and Walt, hopping up on the cushion, lowering his haunches on it before Charles followed the cat's action immediately after. They were a little nervous. As long as they played it cool, nothing should be a problem.

Geo and Walt were pretty eager to know how everything went for the past hour and a half. "So... how was the ride?" Geo curiously said.

"It was nice..." Charles said.

"What all went down?" Walt asked.

The dog's ears twitched around. "Well, dere was a chase, grabbed some grub, other tings..."

"Alright dog," Cliff said. "I tink I need ta say somethin' here." He let out a small sigh before he delivered some words to the white hound. "I shouldn't have pressured ya into doin' somethin' that could put both of us in danger. If it made ya feel uncomfortable, it's okay ta tell me. But no, I kept pushin' ya ta do dis darin' challenge, cause I genuinely didn't tink ya had da guts ta prove yerself. All da damage dat we made together in town was... cause of me. I'm sorry, dog. If yer still willing ta be my companion after all of dis, den I promise that I won't do ya like dat ever again."

The cat threw his head down as it had Charles thinking for a brief moment. Willing to forgive feline anyway, he petted him on his head. "Yer fine, cat." he said. "Besides, this was one heck of an excitin' way to spend our time huh?"

"Most definitely dere, dog."

"And now I'm starting to regret staying here." Walt angrily said to himself.

"Told ya it was gonna be fun!" Cliff responded, just before Lynn Sr. came back into the living room. He spent the past few minutes frantically looking for his keys to his precious van. Looking back to where he had it when he came back from the store, there they were once again, much to his understandable confusion.

"Okay, I could've sworn my keys were missing from the stand when I first looked for them." the father said, before turning to the pets on the couch. "You animals didn't mess with my keys did you?"

Charles retorted with an angry growl while the rest menacingly glared at the man for the accusation. Lynn Sr. jumped a bit from the sudden reaction. "Sheesh, I was only joking around."

He called to his wife. "Honey, let's go! We gotta pick up the kids from school!"

Unbeknownst to him, Rita walked right next to him. "I'm right here, honey."

Opening the door, Lynn Sr. looked back to the pets as he said one more thing to them as Rita went to the van. "We'll see you guys back in a little while!" he said, closing the door from behind.

It was just the four animals now. Alone in solitude together.

"So what do ya wanna do now?" Charles said.

Whipping out a TV remote, Cliff said, "Let's see what on da news, I suppose."

Just in time, the two o'clock news presented itself on the screen. On it was a picture of the van that Charles and Cliff were driving just earlier today. The pet's eyes widened up as they took notice of the same vehicle, shown to millions of worldwide viewers on the air.

"Ruh-roh," the hound said before the reporter could get some words in about the article he's about to tackle for their show.

"So now, our top story today is a high speed chase gone terribly wrong as the force were unable to catch the criminals in this van. Police officials say that they're not going to rest until their suspect is finally apprehended from the streets."

As the four pets looked on in complete shock, they all gulped simultaneously before Charles said, "Dey are in deep diddly doo doo."



~End~

Trivia

 * This one's arguably the most fun I've had writing this story.
 * The title was provided by Dickis3.