User blog:Steven A. Lucas/Steven Lucas in The Loud House: A Fridge Too Far (FANFIC)

Hello, once again. It's Steven A. Lucas here. It's almost time for Thanksgiving, so my version of The Loudest Thanksgiving will be coming soon. So right now, I'll be releasing a couple of my versions of a couple of episodes. I've chosen A Fridge Too Far, however, my role is very brief. I had a couple of moments like trying to steal one of the Loud's leftovers and planned a trap. I also added a little scene where I looked through my food zone, where I think the air in a jar is Leni's, but it's not. I really hope you enjoy it. I do not own the characters, the stories, and the show, it belongs to it's respectful owners, the creators, the directors, the writers, and the crew. Enjoy!

Steven Lucas in The Loud House

A Fridge Too Far

Originally Written by Jeff Sayers

Re-Written by Steven A. Lucas

''[A ringing sound is heard. Cut to inside the classroom where Lincoln is looking at the clock with his mouth drooling. From his point of view, he is hallucinating the clock as a mac 'n' cheese bite.]''

Lincoln: [dreamily] "Mmm! Mac 'n' cheese bites!"

Liam: [whispers] "Hey! Psst! Lincoln! What’d you get for Number 1?"

Lincoln: [dreamily] "Mac 'n' cheese!"

Liam: [jotting down] "Thanks, buddy."

Zach: "Really? I thought the Native Americans gave the Pilgrims corn."

Liam: "If Lincoln says mac 'n' cheese, that's good enough for me."

Lincoln: [worriedly] "I can't focus at all today. [to the viewers] Last night, Dad made his famous mac 'n' cheese bites for dinner. And in order to make all that cheesy goodness last, I saved three bites for after school. But if I'm going to get through this day without losing my mind, I'm just gonna have to stop thinking about them."

[Intercom buzzing]

Cheryl: [over intercom] "The following students please report to the principal's office: Mac and Chaz."

[Lincoln is shocked]

Mrs. Johnson: "Alright, everyone. Pencils down and let's go over the worksheet." [holds out the answer sheet] "Who has the answer to Number 1?"

Liam: [waves his hand excitedly] "Oh, oh, oh, me! It's mac 'n' cheese. And if I'm wrong, you can flunk me." [winks at a worried Lincoln.]

[Back at the Loud House, Lynn Sr. is wearing a chef's hat and is holding a bowl of foie gras foam as he enters the kitchen.]

Lynn Sr.: [singing merrily] "♫ Today's the big day!" [twirls and continues singing] "Just got to chill the Duck Liver Pâté." [places the Pâté in the fridge and mixes the bowl whilst still singing.] "I'll show him that I'm a star with my yummy take on caviar. ♫ "

Rita: [enters the kitchen] "I love that confidence, honey. When is the investor getting here?"

Lynn Sr.: "In a few hours. Just think, if he likes my food, I can open my own restaurant. Here, try this Foie gras foam!" ''[stuffs the ladle of foie gras foam into Rita's mouth. Rita gulps it down.]'' "And here's the second course." [opens an empty jar]

Rita: [sniffs it] "Uh, this is just air...in a jar."

Lynn Sr.: "Lemon air in a jar. high-end yet low-cal."

Rita: "Honey, no offense, but, why are you making all this showy stuff? What's wrong with your famous 'Lynn-sagna'?"

Lynn Sr.: "Honey, this is Timothy McCole. This guy travels all over the world tasting exciting and exotic food." [stammering] "I can't just serve a hunk of noodles."

Rita: "Well, I like the hunk who made those noodles and I think anything he cooks is delicious." [kisses Lynn Sr. and leaves.]

Lynn Sr.: "Can you say that again when he's here?"

[Later that evening, Steven is sitting in the kitchen table and sees Lincoln acting like a zombie.]

Lincoln: [enters the kitchen in a zombie-like trance.] "Mac 'n' cheese!"

Steven: Hey Lincoln! How was school today?

Lincoln: Sorry Steven. My mind’s been wandering all day. I just can’t stop thinking of having my dad’s mac ‘n’ cheese bites after school. As you know I’ve saved three bites.

Steven: Oh, that’s cool. I haven’t had some mac n’ cheese bites before. But, can I try a piece.

Lincoln: Sorry Steven. But it’s only just for me. Oh, I hope there’s still three in there. [opens the fridge and opens the container only to find two mac 'n' cheese bites left; upset] "Two bites?! I saved three!" [growls]

Steven: Wait, there’s two left?

Lincoln: Yeah. Wait, did you have one?!

Steven: No! I said I haven’t tried one yet! And I even asked you if I want a piece.

Lincoln: Okay. So it wasn’t you then.

Steven: Nope.

Lincoln: [takes a moment to think] Hmm. [gasps] Maybe it’s one of my sisters who ate one of them.

Steven: Really. Well let’s talk to them and see if they had one or not.

[The sisters are in the living room when Lincoln enters.]

Lincoln: [angrily] "Alright, which of you vultures swiped one of my mac 'n' cheese bites?! If you guys wanted one so badly, you should've saved some of your own."

[Steven carries out Lincoln’s container with his name on it to demonstrate.]

Steven: Yeah, can’t you even see that this container has Lincoln’s name on it.

Lincoln: Yes. Now which one of you did it!

Lana: "I'm not saying it was me." [burps] "But if I did take one, I only did it 'cause Lola ate the rest of Dad's tater tot bake. I was saving that!"

Lola: "I'm not copping to eating the tater tot bake, but if I did, it would because Luan ate the last slice of Dad's pie, which I was saving!"

Luan: "Actually, I didn't eat it."

Lola: "Oh, my bad."

Luan: "I smashed it in Lynn's face."

[Lynn nods, confirming it.]

Lola: [growls angrily]

Lincoln: "Guys, how do you not see that this as a problem? Our fridge is like the Wild West!"

Steven: Yeah! Come on, can’t we all just share each piece of the leftovers.

Lincoln: Steven. Please, listen as I’m trying to explain to my sisters.

Lori: "Look, Lincoln, nobody likes having their leftovers swiped, but we're a big family. You can't expect to protect every little bite of food that you want."

Lincoln: [thoughtfully] "Oh, can't I?"

Lori: "No, you can't!"

Steven: She’s got you there, dude.

[Lincoln deadpans to the audience.]

[Later, Luan is in the kitchen and looks inside the fridge when a label from Lincoln's face and name on his container.]

Luan's Thoughts: "Hmm, I really want one of those mac 'n' cheese bites, but Lincoln's gonna have a conniption. Then again, watching Lincoln have a conniption is fun."

[Luan grabs the container but it's attached to a string, which opens a door on the bottom, causing a watermelon to fall onto Luan's foot.]

Luan: "Owww!" [clutches her foot in pain.]

Lincoln: [from the doorway] "That'll teach her." [smirks before leaving]

Luan: [angrily] "Oh! So, we're protecting our stuff now, huh?" [shakes her fist] "Fine by me!"

[Later, Leni looks inside the fridge and gasps excitedly when she sees a wrapped brownie.]

Leni's Thoughts: "Ooh, one of Dad's yummy brownies. But, wait, didn't Luan call this? Well, she won't mind if I just break off a little corner."

[But, before Leni can break off a corner, a boxing glove suddenly pops out of the fridge and punches Leni.]

Leni: [yells in pain] "Ow!"

Luan: [from the window] "The gloves are off, now." [laughs before disappearing]

Leni's Thoughts: "Luan put that there to protect her leftovers?! Well, I can play that game too!"

''[Leni slinks away. Later, Luna attempts to steal another leftover, but when she lifts the lid, a paint bomb explodes, covering the kitchen and Luna in blue paint. Next, it's Lana's turn, but the drumstick she grabs is hooked up to Vanzilla. As a result, she takes a bite and yells in pain as she is electrocuted. Lori reaches into the fridge but feels something biting her hand. She pulls it out to see the turtle biting it and she runs out of the kitchen, screaming. Steven tries to steal one of the leftovers, but a boot appears and kicks him in the shin.]''

Steven: Ow!

Lincoln: [angrily] "That's it! You guys really crossed the line this time!" [camera zooms out to reveal that Lincoln has been hung upside down by a snare trap.]

Steven: Yes! This has to stop right now! We cannot go on fighting like this! There’s got to be another way to sort this out. But I’m definitely afraid to take one step closer to whose line I might cross this time!

Luna: [still covered in blue paint] "I'd say that line was crossed when this happened, brah!"

Lana: [still burned from her shock] "Or this!"

Luan: [with her leg in a cast] "Or this!"

Lily: [glowing green because of radiation] "Ga-Ga!"

[Steven, Luna, Luan and Lana look at Lily in shock.]

Steven: Oh man! Even Lily’s involved on this. Has she been playing with Lisa’s scientific studies again!

Lily: Poo-poo!

Steven: Oh! Okay, nevermind.

Lincoln: "This is crazy! We can't go on like this! If someone could gently let me down, I think I have an idea."

Steven: Okay. Luan, will you cut Lincoln loose.

[Luan cuts the rope and Lincoln falls to the floor with a thud.]

Lincoln: Thank you.

Luan: You’re welcome!

[Later, all the siblings are gathered in the kitchen.]

Steven: Alright everyone. I know some of you are still a little upset about an ongoing battle in the fridge. But I want you to pay attention. Lincoln, you may proceed.

Lincoln: Thank you. Now, as we all know that our battle for our leftovers is going amuck.

Steven: Yes. Now, we shall sort this problem out, by providing a friendly and arranged space within your own refrigerator.

Lincoln: "Precisely. So, I think we can all agree: basic order needs to be restored. So with an assist from Lisa, I came up with a plan."

[Lisa wheels in a blackboard, accidentally running over Luan's injured foot.]

Luan: [gasps in pain]

Lisa: "Sorry!" [lifts the cover off her blackboard.] "Per Lincoln's request, I calculated the refrigerator's cubic footage and divided it into twelve equally sized zones, creating the optimal conditions for what I'd like to call: Dairy Détente."

Lincoln: [opens the fridge door] "Everybody gets a zone. And the genius part is that no one can mistake theirs for someone else's because they're color-coded." [presses a button on a remote and the compartments light up in the siblings' respective colors.]

Sisters [minus Lisa]: [in awe] "Oooh!"

Steven: That’s right! Each zone is color-coded based on what you are all wearing and what you represent as.

[The sisters look at the colors of their clothes they’re wearing.]

Steven: I’ve included myself to have my own zone, so that we can all live peacefully amongst our own delicious meals.

Lincoln: "All we have to do now is divide up Dad's leftovers and put them in our zones."

Steven: Yes. And now, grab your leftovers by forming a single-filed line and put them in your own zone.

[The sisters look at the pile of leftovers and begin fighting over it.]

Steven: [to the sisters fighting] HEY! WHAT DID I SAY?!

[Later, the argument is settled and the siblings have claimed their leftovers.]

Lori: "I call Dad's stuffed peppers!"

Lynn: "And I got dibs on his fried chicken!"

Leni: "I get his mine strone."

Lisa: "Uh, Leni, it's pronounced 'Minestrone'."

Leni: "I call it 'Mine Strone' 'cause it's mine!"

Steven: Ohhh! You just got roasted by L to the E to the N to the I! What’s that spell! LENI!

[Lincoln and Lisa looked at him.]

Steven: Sorry. I should probably go grab your dad’s lasagna.

[Soon, Steven and Lincoln’s siblings are placing their leftovers in their zones.]

Lincoln: [to Lisa] "Nice job. Thanks for the assist."

Lisa: "You're welcome. For payment, I will happily accept your last mac 'n' cheese bite."

Lincoln: "Not a chance."

[Later, Lynn Sr. returns from the grocery store, humming happily.]

Lynn Sr.: [singing] "♫ Wait 'till he tries my Uni-surprise. This organic beet juice will open his eyes." [Lynn Sr. is so busy singing he fails to notice the different colored zones in the fridge; still singing] "That investor guy will feel like a royal when he tastes my risotto with... ♫ " [stops singing when he notices something is missing in his bag.] "Dang it! I forgot the truffle oil!" [facepalms himself] "Come on, Lynn. You're better than that! [closes the fridge and walks out of the kitchen just as Luan and Lisa enter.]

Luan: "Next stop: Yellow Zone! Can't wait to dig into Dad's mashed potatoes."

Lisa: "And my destination is the Green Zone, where I intend to feast on Father's savory meatloaf." [licks her lip in anticipation] "Num-num!"

Luan: [rushes over to the fridge and goes into her zone.] "Eww! Gross!" [reaches out the packet of uni Lynn Sr. put in there.] "Someone put something in my zone called 'Uni'. Whatever that is."

Lisa: "That would be a low-fat, high-protein, globular animal in the Echinoidea class. Street name: sea urchin."

Luan: "Well, sea you later." [throws the packet of uni into the trash can where Cliff dives in.] "Must be one of Lori's gross health foods, and it does not belong in my zone." [takes her leftovers]

Lisa: [reaches in her zone and takes out the beet juice.] "Ech! Lucy's homemade blood does not belong in my zone. Buh-bye." [throws the juice into the trashcan, covering Cliff in juice.]

[Later, Steven opens the fridge, and finds an empty jar in his zone.]

Steven: What the heck is this? [opens the jar and sniffs it] Lemon air in a jar? What kind of bozo would like to smell this? It’s probably Leni’s jar, maybe that’s why she wants to make herself smell fresh and beautiful every day. Even though her head does have more than just air. I’m sorry Leni, but that jar is totally not on my zone.

[Steven throws the jar in the trashcan; Cliff pops out and smells it inside the jar.]

[Later, Lori opens the fridge door and sees the caviar in her zone.]

Lori: "Eww! What is this black goo?" [takes the caviar out and sniffs it.] "Eww, smells fishy. Must be Lana's bait." [tosses the caviar] "Not in my zone!"

[Cliff emerges from the trashcan and grabs the caviar.]

[Later, Lola has found the duck liver pâté in her zone.]

Lola: "Duck Liver Pate? Eww! Lisa! If you want to dissect animals, don't put their icky organs in my zone!" [throws the pâté into the trashcan and a nearly full Cliff crawls towards it.]

[Lynn Sr. returns from the grocery store after getting the truffle oil when he notices something.]

Timothy McCole: [on his phone] "If they can't be on time, just cancel the appointment and move my 3:15 to 3:00, my 4:15 to 4:00 and my..." [whispers down the phone] "pedicure to 5:00."

Lynn Sr.: "Oh, hi there! Lynn Loud Sr., I am so glad to meet-"

Timothy McCole: [shakes Lynn Sr.'s hand] "Timothy McCole, but call me Tim because 'Timothy' takes more time to say and time is the one thing I don't have. Now, let's see what you got for me."

Lynn Sr.: "Err, don't worry, Tim. You'll be eating before you know it." [smiles nervously]

[Inside the kitchen, Lynn Sr. opens the fridge door but screams in horror upon seeing his ingredients gone.]

Timothy McCole: "Is everything alright?"

Lynn Sr.: [stutters] "Of course! I always scream when I open the fridge door. See." [opens the door and screams three times.]

Timothy McCole: "Okay, I guess every chef has his own style."

Lynn Sr.: "Uh, Tim, could I interest in a apéritif? [laughs nervously]

Timothy McCole: "Well, I'd really rather-"

Lynn Sr.: [hands Timothy a juice box] "Good. Here's a juice box. Go sit down." [pushes Timothy out of the kitchen and into the dining room] "I'll call you once dinner's ready." [runs back into the kitchen and begins searching frantically for his ingredients.] "Where are all my ding-dang ingredients?!"

[The siblings notice the commotion from the doorway.]

Lincoln: [worried] "Dad, are you okay? We heard a woman yelling."

Steven: [worried] Yeah, and we saw some guy come into the house, drinking a juice box. And I do believe that he goes by the name of Tim.

Leni: He even sounded like a man that has a beautiful younger daughter who sounded just like me.

Steven: Exactly. He even sounded like a man who used to be on a sci-fi show back in the 60s. Anyway, Mr. Loud, are you okay?

Lynn Sr.: "No, I'm not okay! There's an investor in the living room waiting to try my food and all my ingredients are gone." Wait! [smells a scent of lemon] I smell lemons.

[He looks down and sees Cliff with his stomach full of Lynn’s ingredients.]

Lynn Sr.: [unimpressed] Aw! There goes my lemon air in a jar. But I don’t know where my ingredients are.

[Cliff meows in pain and throws up the pâté.]

Lynn Sr.: [unimpressed] "Well, there's my pâté."

[Cliff throws up the caviar.]

Lynn Sr: "And my caviar."

[Finally, Cliff throws up the uni.]

Lynn Sr: "And my uni! Cliff, how did you get your paws on my ingredients?!"

Steven: Listen, we can explain everything. But hear us out.

Lori: "It wasn't Cliff's fault, Dad. We threw out your ingredients. He must have gotten them out of the trash."

Lynn Sr.: "What?! Why would you do that?"

Luan: "We didn't know they were yours."

Steven: Yeah. We’re very sorry. Those brands you bought look very generic.

Lincoln: "See, we kinda divided the fridge into zones, because we'd been stealing each other's leftovers."

Lori: "So, when we found your stuff in our zones, we assumed someone was violating the system."

Lynn Sr.: "You kids know I love your creative conflict resolutions but now I have nothing to serve my investor." [overhears slurping and panics] "And he's almost done with his juice box!"

Steven: Okay, let’s all put this together. You are saying that a food critic / investor has come to your house and try out your gourmet meals with your ingredients.

Lynn Sr.: Yes! Exactly! Now, without them. I’ll never get my dream come true that I’ve always wanted.

Lincoln: "We're sorry, Dad. We never meant for something like this to happen."

Lynn Sr.: [sighs] "Well, I guess my restaurant dreams are in the toilet. I'd better go tell 'No-Time Tim' his afternoon just opened up."

Lincoln: [suddenly has an idea] "Dad, wait! What if you serve him your leftovers?" [opens the fridge]

Lori: "Yeah! That's a great idea. You can take the stuffed pepper I've been saving."

Lisa: "And, uh, I can part with your meatloaf."

Steven: And you can serve him your famous Lynn-sagna.

Leni: [reaches for the minestrone] "And I'll give you this soup. Mine strone is now your strone."

Steven: See. There’s nothing to fear about. We’ll help you serve him your leftovers and that way; we’ll help you make your dream come true by starting your own restaurant.

Lynn Sr.: "Oh, that's a nice thought, guys, but Tim won't want any of that. He's used to eating the most amazing food in the world."

Lucy: "But your leftovers are the most amazing food in the world."

Luna: "Truth, Pop-star! Look what we did to keep them to ourselves."

Steven: We’ll all help and serve that food critic your food. Because, it’ll be the best meals that he has ever eaten.

Lynn Sr.: [sniffs] "Well, I guess it's worth a shot."

[Soon, Timothy is eating Lynn Sr.'s leftover lasagna whilst Lynn Sr. and the kids and Steven watch nervously.]

Timothy McCole: "Well, Lynn, I'm gonna give it to you straight. This is one of..." [happily] "...the best meals I've ever eaten."

Lynn Sr.: [ashamed] "I knew it was a dumb idea! I should have never served it! I, um..." [realizes] "Wait, what?"

Timothy McCole: "I've been all over the world and every chef serves me the same thing: caviar, pâté, uni. It's boring and uninspired. Do you know what the last place I ate, the chef served me 'Air in a Jar'."

Lynn Sr.: [scoffs and laughs nervously] "What a bozo!"

Timothy McCole: "But your food is classic, comforting, and delicious, and when you travel as much as I do, there's nothing better than food that tastes like home." [writes a cheque] "Ooh, I want to be in the Lynn Loud business!"

Lynn Sr.: [happily takes the cheque] "Wow! Thank you, Tim! I don't know what to say." [offers a hug to Tim, who declines it.]

Timothy McCole: "I don't do hugs." ''[gets ready to go. Timothy and Lynn Sr. shakes hands. Then Timothy's phone rings and he answer it.]'' "You got Tim." [leaves the house]

Lola: "We do hugs." [she and the rest of the siblings hug Lynn Sr., who returns the hug.]

[Later, the siblings are washing the dishes when Rita comes home.]

Rita: "So, how did it go?"

Lynn: "Aww, Dad kicked butt!"

Steven: Yeah. That Tim guy loved the food he just ate!

Lynn Sr.: [proudly] "Yeah, I'm one step closer to my dream of owning a restaurant."

Rita: [happily] "I'm so proud of you, honey. I guess he liked your uni and your lemon air."

Lynn Sr.: "Actually, he liked my leftover 'Lynn-sagna', just like you said."

Lana: "And all his other leftovers too."

Rita: "That's wonderful. This calls for a celebration. Who wants some of Dad's chocolate cake?"

Steven and Sisters: [in unison] "Me!"

Lincoln: "Wait, I didn't see any chocolate cake in the fridge."

Steven: Yeah. Where did you put it? Or are you just not telling us where it is.

Rita: "Well, that's because I stashed it under the couch." [notices everyone looking at her with astonishment, and slightly embarrassed] "What? I can't claim any leftovers?"

Lynn: "I'll go score us some." [races into the living room]

Rita: [realizes something] "Lynn, wait!"

[Lynn yelps as another paint bomb explodes and re-enters the room covered in blue paint and looks annoyed, much to everyone's shock.]

Steven: Lynn, are you okay?!

Lynn: [annoyed] Not a word, Steven.