User blog:J.D. Brony/Story Time - Cards Against Louds: Emotional Breakdown

'''Before you read this story, let me just tell you, do NOT get the wrong idea of this story's title. I know what its referencing, but I'm going to change it up to a point that it's a family-friendly version kind of game.'''

'''Okay? Don't freak out, please? Please? Thank you.'''

(The Loud kids are all playing a new session of "Cards Against Humanity".)

Lincoln: Alright, let's get this over with.

Luna: Who's going first?

Lincoln: Since Lisa was the last one before, that means we'll go back again. I'm going first. (to the audience) Also, if you don't know how this game works, well...I'm not saying it again. Just look it up.

Lynn: Read the first card, card czar.

Lincoln: Okay. (reads the black card) "Blank". Kid-tested. Mother-approved. Great starting card.

(All the Loud kids sans Lincoln play their cards.)

The cards the Loud kids played. '''Black Card: ________. Kid-tested. Mother-approved.'''
 * "Child beauty pageants."
 * "E.T."
 * "Seduction."
 * "Cookies and Cream."
 * "A jerk slap."
 * "Some sort of Asian."
 * "None."
 * "Sitting alone in your room."
 * "25,000 pieces of confetti."

Lincoln: (sees the fifth card) (laughs hysterically) I'm not making any second thoughts! You win! (picks the card that says, "A jerk slap.")

Lana: (laughs) I...ha...I knew that card would work! When I saw it in my deck, I just had to play it.

Luan: Dang it. I need to get a blank card or something.

Lola: You know, I'll admit. I would've picked the same card.

Lori: Alright, I'm next. (reads the black card) What's my secret power?

Leni: You have a secret power, Lori?

Lori: I'm just reading the card, Leni.

Lola: (shocked) Oh my, goodness. Lori, I'm sorry. But this card is just...you, sometimes.

Lori: (a little concerned) Oh, no...

(All the Loud kids sans Lori play their cards.)

The cards the Loud kids played. Black Card: What's my secret power?
 * "Selfies."
 * "A serious case of homesickness."
 * "The quiet kid."
 * "Chocolate pudding."
 * "My oversized posterior."
 * "Being a jerk to children."
 * "Postponing."
 * "Instant messaging."
 * "A one trick pony."

Lori: (sees the sixth card) (slightly miffed) Hey! That's not true!

Luna: Well, it is...sometimes.

Lori: Nah! If it was "Being a jerk to siblings.", I wouldn't argue much about it.

Lincoln: So, you're actually a jerk to your siblings sometimes?

Lori: What? No, I...UGH! I'll just pick it. Whatever. (picks the card that says, "Being a jerk to children.")

Lola: Yay, me!

Lori: That's literally still not true, though.

Leni: (squees) I'm next! (reads the black card) What's on the TV today?

(All the Loud kids sans Leni play their cards.)

The cards the Loud kids played. Black Card: What's on the TV today?
 * "My whole life."
 * "The Kool-Aid Man."
 * "Dream Boat."
 * "Literal crippling depression."
 * "A passive skunk."
 * "Having a good time."
 * "The life of the party."
 * "A million excuses."
 * "You?"

Leni: Oooh! Dream Boat! Dream Boat! (picks the card that says, "Dream Boat.")

Lynn: Woo! That's what I'm talking about!

Lincoln: Oh, come on! There were much better cards than that.

Lynn: Bro, I know how to get a free win.

Luna: Alright, I'm next. Oh, uh...okay. What kind of card is this? (reads the black card) Is "blank" a mutation? Or a gift?

(All the Loud kids sans Luna play their cards.)

Luan: (gasps) OH, NO!

Lucy: What happened?

Luan: OH, NO!

Lisa: Repeating Lucy's statement, what happened?

Luan: I played the wrong card! Okay...uh...before any of you react, I didn't mean to play that card. Okay? It was an accident. I did NOT mean to play it! I did NOT...oh...no...

Lincoln: How bad is your card?

Luan: It's...uh...you'll see. Luna, I'm sorry. I'm sorry...I'M SORRY!

The cards the Loud kids played. '''Black Card: Is ________ a mutation? Or a gift?'''
 * "A pair of Crocs shoes."
 * "Sam."
 * "The World Wide Web."
 * "Toothpaste."
 * "A poopy diaper."
 * "Being fat and stupid."
 * "An extra emo."
 * "Free hugs!"
 * "A syndrome unlike any other."

Lincoln: (sees the second card) Oh...that bad.

Luan: Luna, I didn't mean to play it. Please, PLEASE understand! It was an ACCIDENT! I was NEVER going to play that card. I'm SORRY!

Lori: (a little unsure) Are you sure, Luan?

Luan: Of course, I'm sure! I'd never do that to my sister!

Leni: (a little concerned) Uh...Luna?

(Nothing but silence.)

Lincoln: (also concerned) She's not saying anything.

Luan: (about to tear up) Oh...no...Luna?

(Nothing but silence again.)

Lisa: I think she's going to leave the call.

Luan: (so concerned) No...Luna? LUNA? Are you still there? Please say yes. PLEASE!

Luna: (sad) Yeah...

Luan: (relieved) OH, THANK GOODNESS. Are you okay?

Luna: I wasn't for the first few minutes, but...now...I am...a little bit.

Lincoln: So...you're good, now, sis?

Luna: (wiping a small tear) Yeah...more or less.

Luan: Luna, I'm sorry, okay? I'm SO sorry. I won't do that EVER again. Okay? I love you, sis.

(Nothing but silence again.)

Luan: (concerned) Luna?

Luna: (feeling a little better) I love you, too.

Luan: (so relieved) Oh, my goodness. You almost made me tear up again.

Lincoln: Alright, I guess we can proceed now.

Luna: (sighs) Okay...I guess I'll pick this one. (picks the card that says, "An extra emo.")

Lucy: Happy days.

Luna: You promise me that you won't do that again, Luan?

Luan: Yes! YES! I promise! I won't do that EVER again!

Luna: Okay, sis. I trust you.

Lincoln: Luan, you're the last one for today. Read the last card.

Luan: Okay. Umm...alright. (reads the black card) If there was one thing I'd really regret, it would be "blank". Huh, why did this card end up with me?

Lincoln: (gasps) Ah-HAH! (laughs)

Lynn: Sounds like someone's played their golden card.

(All the Loud kids sans Luan play their cards.)

The cards the Loud kids played. Black Card: If there was one thing I'd really regret, it would be ________.
 * "Absolutely nothing."
 * "Whatever Chicken McNuggets are made of."
 * "Drinking soda all day everyday."
 * "Balls."
 * "A dumb Asian."
 * "Boxing up my feelings."
 * "Something that's used for bread."
 * "A 'harmless' prank."
 * "The square dance."

Luan: (sees the eighth card) I see it. (picks the card that says, "A 'harmless' prank.") Yup. That's Lincoln's.

Lincoln: Hey, at least it's true.

Luan: Yeah. Maybe I should tone down my pranks next time.

Lisa: Well, I think today's game is over with.

Lori: I'm literally hoping I get better cards next time.

Luna: I just hope Luan won't make the same mistake again.

Luan: Don't worry, sis. I won't. I promise.

Lincoln: (to the audience) Well, that was...some game today. I guess we'll play again some other time.

Lily: (giggles) Poo-poo.

THE END

Other Stuff

 * I fully support Luna and Sam being best friends. Although, not really as a legit couple. Don't get me wrong, though. I've said a MILLION times that I respect the LGBTs. But everyone has their limits. That means I have my own.
 * I've always wondered what it would be like if there was a personal/emotional moment happening during a Cards Against Humanity game.
 * If you want to know more about this game, which I highly recommend that you don't if you're too innocent, check out Mini Ladd's channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MiniLaddd

Remarks

 * So, what are your thoughts? Did I do good on this story? Because I've always told myself that I'm not really good at storytelling. But yeah, let me know what you guys think about this post of mine.
 * POSITIVE responses are, of course, very much appreciated.

'''Well, I guess that's it for this "Story Time" segment. Thanks for reading! :)'''

- J.D. Brony