Thread:TheEyeOfAllEyes/@comment-31595317-20170726033458/@comment-5455120-20170808002803

Lexx: There she is.

[Meanwhile Leif performs his evening suit, then he steps on a loose floorboard and stops.]

Leif: "Whoa. Hang on, everybody! Loose floorboard!" [takes out his hammer and nails it back into place.] "That'll hold. Carry on!"

[His opponents condescendingly giggle at his handyman skills.]

Linka: "Leif! What was that?! We talked about the tools!"

Leif: "I couldn't help it! Fixing stuff is what I do!"

Linka: "You're supposed to be fit and perfect! Now, do you want to go to Dairyland and get hit in the face with your own barf or not? I know you can do this. The interview is next. Go out there and nail it!" [Leif takes out his hammer.] "Not with that."

[The interview portion]

Donna: "Lexx, what can six-year-olds do to eliminate the national debt."

Leif: "Um..." [prepares to scratch his butt to think.]

Linka: [frantic] "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!"

[Fortunately, Leif controls himself.]

Leif: "Plenty, Donna. Just because we're six doesn't mean we can't make a difference."

[The audience applauds. Just then, Hops hops out of Leif's suit.]

Leif: "OH! HOPS!"

[The frog lands on the judge's desk and Leif lunges at her to get her back, causing a ruckus, Leif returns backstage with his frog.]

Linka: "Leif, what is the problem? We went over everything in Gilda's book, and the companion DVD, and the podcast! How are you still not getting it?"

Leif: "I'm sorry, Linka. No matter what I do, I can't be hit and perfect like these boys. Maybe there's something wrong with me." [starts to feel bad about himself to the point where he'll cry.]

[Hops hops on top of him and looks on at Linka, ashamed of her behavior and intention. Linka realizes her follies.]

Linka: "Leif! Wait. There's nothing wrong with you. I'm the one who messed up. I got so caught up in winning those tickets, I turned into Gilda Lily...who, when you stop to think about it, probably needs to get a life."

Leif: "Yeah, but still, why can't I be like them?"

Linka: "Because you're you. You're messy and muddy and keep a lot of reptiles in your pants. But that's what makes you awesome. And I was crazy to try and change you."

Leif: [hugs his sister in forgiveness] "Aw...thanks, Linka."

Donna: "Ladies and gentlemen, Mister Lexx Loud and his fabulous baton dance!"

Leif: "Well, that's me. I'll do my best."

Linka: "Forget the baton dance. Why don't you go do your own talent?"

Leif: "Really? Okay, but we can kiss those Dairyland tickets goodbye."

Linka: "I don't care about them anymore. Go be yourself."

[Leif takes off his fit and perfect outfit and returns to his own appearance, ready to take the stage. Leif is now on stage with Hops.]

Leif: "Yo, Hops! Give me a bassline!"

[Hops starts croaking and Leif starts doing a little jam while snapping his fingers, doing fart noises and scratching his butt.]

Linka: "Whoo-hoo! That's my brother!"

Lexx: [grabs her and holds her against the wall with his crutch.] "AND THIS IS YOUR OTHER BROTHER!!!"

Linka: "Wait! It's my fault, not Leif's! It was all my idea!"