User blog:J.D. Brony/Story Time - Cards Against Louds: Online

'''Before you read this story, let me just tell you, do NOT get the wrong idea of this story's title. I know what its referencing, but I'm going to change it up to a point that it's a family-friendly version kind of game.'''

'''Okay? Don't freak out, please? Please? Thank you.'''

(The Loud kids are all on their computers. Let's just assume they all have one, okay?)

Lincoln: (to the audience) You remember when I said that we'd play the online version of "Cards Against Humanity"? Well...here it is.

Luna: Is everybody in the same session?

Other sisters: Yup.

Lincoln: Alright then, let's start. (to the audience) If you don't know how this game works, there are black cards, which are the question cards and you're going to answer them using your white cards, which are the, well...answer cards. Oh yeah, if you have a card that has a blank on it, that means you can put your own answer on it. So, there you go.

Lori: Can we start now?

Lincoln: Sure.

Lynn: Who did we stop at last time?

Lisa: Luan.

Lynn: Oh. That means I get to be the card czar first. Cool! (read the black card) Happy birthday to "blank".

Leni: Who's Blank?

Lincoln: It's not a person, Leni. You have to complete the sentence.

Leni: Oh, like, okay.

Lola: I don't know if any of my cards will work.

Lana: Just pick one that works the least bit, then.

(All the Loud kids sans Lynn play their card.)

The cards the Loud kids played. Black Card: Happy birthday to ________.
 * "Me?"
 * "A gassy antelope."
 * "Uppercuts."
 * "Santa Claus."
 * "Mom's new boyfriend."
 * "Crippling social anxiety."
 * "Every internet video ever."
 * "Grandma."
 * "That one little guy in the dark corner."

Lynn: Well then, considering I didn't win any previous rounds with the same card I played two times, I'm choosing this. (picks the card that says, "Uppercuts.")

Lucy: Joy.

Lynn: Wait, that card's yours?

Lucy: When I saw it in my deck, I remembered you playing it before. So, this was out of my unusual sympathy.

Lynn: (uneasy) Uh, thanks...I guess?

Lucy: No problem.

Luan: Dang it. I was the first card. I wasted it.

Lucy: Looks like I'm next. (reads the black card) Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

(All the Loud kids sans Lucy play their card.)

The cards the Loud kids played. Black Card: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
 * "Your mother."
 * "That pet ferret that 'ran away'."
 * "Dank memes."
 * "My dad's dumb face."
 * "Mathletes."
 * "Spoiled milk."
 * "The whole world."
 * "The Great Depression."
 * "Eighth graders."

Lucy: Being the person I am, I know what to choose. (picks the card that says, "The Great Depression.")

Lori: Oh, that won? Okay.

Lincoln: Why'd you play that card?

Lori: It was unintentional, actually. That was literally a throwaway card.

Lincoln: Oh.

Luna: Who's next, dudes?

Lola: (excited) Me! (reads the black card) I seriously doubt that anything could be worse than "blank".

Luan: (quietly laughs)

Lincoln: Sounds like someone's got the upper hand on this round.

(All the Loud kids sans Lola play their cards.)

The cards the Loud kids played. Black Card: I seriously doubt that anything could be worse than ________.
 * "The Internet."
 * "Free ice cream, yo!"
 * "A pathetic backflip."
 * "Daddy's belt."
 * "The Easter Bunny."
 * "A deep depression."
 * "Lori's duckface selfies."
 * "Bees?"
 * "Being emo."

Lori: (slightly miffed) Hey! Who played that seventh card?

Lincoln: I think I've found out which one's Luan's.

Lana: I kinda like how the eighth card is not even sure. "Bees?"

Lola: Okay. I'll just do it this once. Lori, I'm sorry. (picks the card that says, "Lori's duckface selfies.")

Luan: Yay! That blank card was worth it.

Lincoln: Yup, I knew it.

Lori: (still miffed) Ugh...I'll keep you from becoming a human pretzel this time, Luan.

Luan: Don't worry, sis. I don't have any more blank cards. (laughs)

Lana: Alright, me next. Oooh, this is different. (reads the black card) Having problems with "blank"? Try "blank".

Lincoln: Okay, guys. This means we all have to pick two cards. Make sure they are in the order of the sentence.

Lisa: Understood.

(All the Loud kids sans Lana play their cards.)

The cards the Loud kids played. '''Black Card: Having problems with ________? Try ________.'''
 * "Indescribable loneliness." & "Anti-social remedies."
 * "Mother issues." & "Lots and lots of dropped infants."
 * "The darkness." & "Opening your eyes."
 * "Having no thumbs." & "Unsaturated fat."
 * "Leveling up." & "A Super Soaker full of cat pee."
 * "Having no emotions." & "Enduring lots and lots of pain."
 * "Dumbbells." & "Smartphones."
 * "Tripping on acid." & "Mountain Dew."
 * "Clickbait." & "A 50-gallon drum of lube."

Luan: Dumbbells and smartphones? (laughs hysterically)

Lincoln: (surprised) Who played the last one? Holy schamoley.

Lori: I feel like there's literally a lot of good choices here.

Lana: I'll just pick this one 'cause it makes the most sense. (picks the cards that say, "The darkness." & "Opening your eyes.")

Lisa: That's a win for me.

Lincoln: "Opening your eyes." was a blank card, wasn't it?

Lisa: Your guess is as good as mine.

Lincoln: Alright, this is the last round for today. Lisa, you're next.

Lisa: (reads the black card) I loved the Internet until I found "blank". Oh, this is gonna be a good one.

Lola: (snickers) I'm not sorry for playing this card.

Luna: Uh-oh. What did you play, Lola?

(All the Loud kids sans Lisa play their cards.)

The cards the Loud kids played. Black Card: I loved the Internet until I found ________.
 * "Some dork with an acoustic guitar."
 * "Bird poop."
 * "A fecal accident."
 * "DeviantArt."
 * "A box."
 * "Homeless people."
 * "What?"
 * "Cringeworthy memes."
 * "Three consecutive seconds of happiness."

Lisa: Congratulations. You win. Fair and square. (picks the card that says, "DeviantArt.")

Lola: Yay, me!

Lana: I'm surprised that isn't a blank card.

Lincoln: Well, I guess that's today's session done.

Luna: We can always play some other time, right bro?

Lincoln: Sure. Why not?

Luan: I hope that next time I get more blank cards.

Lori: I wonder if Bobby's played this before.

Leni: I'm, like, totes ready for another time.

Lincoln: (to the audience) Well, I guess I'll see you guys later for the next session.

Lily: (giggles) Poo-poo.

THE END

Other Stuff

 * Most of the answer cards played here are thoughts that came straight from my head.
 * I feel like I'm getting pretty good at this transcript writing for "Story Time".
 * If you want to know more about this game, check out Mini Ladd's channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MiniLaddd

Remarks

 * So, what are your thoughts? Did I do good on my first time at writing a story? Because I've always told myself that I'm not really good at storytelling. But yeah, let me know what you guys think about this post of mine.
 * POSITIVE responses are, of course, very much appreciated.

'''Well, I guess that's it for this "Story Time" segment. Thanks for reading! :)'''

- J.D. Brony