User blog:BatSam247/The Loud Journey Home (Repost)



[The episode starts off with a mailman whistling & leaving a package in front of the Loud House's front door. Pan over to show Lincoln looking at the mailman from his bedroom window. Afterwards, he opens his door, looks around the hallway with shifty eyes to make sure no one's around, dashes towards the front door, gets the package, dashes back into his room, and slides under the bed.]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] I know what you're thinking. "Lincoln, what's so important about this package?" Well, see for yourself. [opens the box to reveal 7 12-packs of rare peanut butter & chocolate candy bars] These were made in Belgium, and only 10,000 were produced. Most say these are the most delicious, delectable, and delightful candy bars in the northern hemisphere. Luckily, I was able to get some of the last boxes. It's a very long story, though. And if my sisters saw me with these babies...

[Cut to Lincoln, holding the package, being cornered by the sisters ]

Lola: [eagerly] What's in the box, Lincy?

Lincoln: [nervously] N-n-nothing.

Lynn: Let's see about that... [grabs the box and rips it open to reveal the Belgium candy bars]

[The sisters gaze at them in awe. Immediately after, they all glare at each other, then start a dust cloud, fighting over the chocolate. Pan over to Lincoln, who sulks over his candy-based loss. Cut back to real time.]

Lincoln: [to the viewers[ That's why I had carefully crafted an immensely successful strategy to keep these intact. [opens one of the 12-packs] And I'll keep the rest under here.

[As Lincoln is about to eat a candy bar...]

Lori: [sternly] Thought you could hide chocolate from us, didn't you?

Lincoln: Huh? [turns around to see that all 10 sisters, with predatory gazes, are under the bed as well; turns to the screen] Oh no...

[The sisters pounce onto Lincoln, starting a large dust cloud, which results in Lincoln's room being completely torn apart. The dust cloud proceeds to rip through most of the rooms in the house, putting it in the same condition as Lincoln's room, and bursts through the front window.]

[Cut to Mr. Grouse pushing a broken automatic piano playing high-pitched music into a large open crate on the sidewalk in front of his house.]

Mr. Grouse: Finally! No more late nights listening to that infernal racket! And this crate is completely sound-proof! Now to get the lid and return to sender. [goes off to do so]

<p style="font-weight:400;">[While Mr. Grouse is gone, the siblings' dust cloud passes by his house and enters the crate. Mr. Grouse comes back with the lid and closes up the crate.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Mr. Grouse: Now, for the first peaceful night I've had in ages. [walks back into his house; whistling happily]

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Soon after, a mail truck arrives in front of Mr. Grouse's house. Two mailmen come out, load up the crate, and drive off to the local post office. The crate is loaded up into another mail truck.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Cut to an airplane heading to Alaska. Cut to the crate being loaded onto a third mail truck. However, the doors in the back aren't closed all the way.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Truck Driver: [singing along] I get the last laugh! I get the final grin! Throw you into the asylum with Harley Quinn! Turn Two-Face to Black & Blue Face! I 100% am not Bruce Wayne!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[While the truck driver has on headphones listening to rock music, he unwittingly hits a manhole in the road, causing the crate to fall out of the truck.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Truck Driver: [takes off his headphones; paranoid] What the?! What was that?! [calms down] Eh, it was probably nothing. [puts his headphones back on]

<p style="font-weight:400;">[The crate tumbles down a large hill of snow and lands right at the bottom, causing the crate to break apart into many pieces, making the siblings fall into the snow. The piano is launched into the air from the impact and lands into a lake, electrifying it. The piano sinks to the bottom of the lake, and lots of dead fish emerge at the top. Cut back to where the siblings are. Lincoln emerges triumphantly from the snow with a single candy bar in his hand.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: [pants heavily] At least I got the last one.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Lincoln is about to eat it, until Lori jumps him and eats the last candy bar.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lori: Those candy bars are literally the best thing I've ever tasted.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: Aw, come on! I didn't get even one bite! [looks around and realizes something] Oh no... We're in the middle of nowhere!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Zoom out while Lincoln's echo is heard throughout the landscape. The other sisters climb out of the snow shortly afterwards.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: [wipes off the snow on her] It appears we have arrived at a frozen tundra.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lola: We wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for him. [points at Lincoln]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: Mmm-hmm. And it's my fault, how exactly?

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lynn: You could've just shared the candy bars with us.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: [irritated] If I had, all of you would've gobbled it up like there was no tomorrow, like you have done just today!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[All the other sisters (sans Lisa and Lily) join in on the argument, until...]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: [whistles, getting the others' attention; holding Lily] This incessant arguing will not get us anywhere. In order to get back to our natural dwelling, we'll have to put out all of our differences aside and work together. Everyone got that?

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Everyone nods.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: Good.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lana: Maybe there's a way back home just up this hill. [walks up the hill the box the siblings were in tumbled down earlier; looks around the area until she sees a billboard near the road; to the others below] Looks like we're all the way in Alaska!

<p style="font-weight:400;">Leni: Is that close to or away from Antarctica?

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Pause, then...]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: You know what, I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lana: [sniffs the air for a bit; points east] Royal Woods is that way!

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: [pulls out an automatic chalk board with the U.S. map on it] To deduce where exactly in Alaska we are, I have constructed this contraption during the cutaway. [pulls out a finger pointer and aims it at Alaska] Alright, so we already know we're here in Alaska... [slides the finger pointer all the way to Michigan] And all the way over here is Michigan, where Royal Woods is.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Luna: Man, that's gonna take us days, if not, months to get back.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: Better start making the Loud journey home now rather than later, I guess.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[The other siblings climb up the hill where Lana is, and Lana detects a trail, and starts following it much like a bloodhound, as the other sisters and Lincoln follow her.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Meanwhile, back in Royal Woods...]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Rita: [opens the door] Kids, we're home!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[The parents then immediately notice the condition of the house.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lynn Sr.: [groans] Did the kids go on another chore strike?

<p style="font-weight:400;">[The two proceed to go to the siblings' room to scold them for the huge mess, but they're nowhere to be found.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Rita: This can only mean one thing. [simultaneously with Lynn Sr.] We've been robbed!

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lynn Sr.: [simultaneously with Rita] Our kids have been raptured!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Rita gives Lynn Sr. a confused look. Cut back to the siblings, who are still trudging through the snow, whilst shivering from how cold it is.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: The most logical route to take would be through Canada. Either that, or we'll have to swim back to the mainland of the U.S. Lana: Oh, you mean the country with that special bacon?

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: Precisely.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: [sneezes] Man, it's so cold out here.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lynn: It's Alaska. Of course it's gonna be cold!

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: I suggest we go a bit further, and we'll set up shelter with whatever's available at the moment.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Fade to nighttime, when the siblings(sans Lana and Lisa) are near a large forest, in which they build a fort with the leftover wood.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: [puts up the finishing touches] And... there we go!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Pan over to a somewhat cruddily made tipi. It then immediately topples over and scatters into a bunch of broken wood.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Siblings(sans Lana and Lisa): [groans]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lana: [offscreen; whistles] Hey guys! Check out what me and Lisa made!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[The siblings turn around to see that Lana and Lisa had created a life-size replica of the Loud House out of wood.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: It took an extravagant amount of wood, moss, and leaves to put into in order to craft a makeshift dwelling for the night.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lana: [scratches herself multiple times] We even decorated the inside of the house.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Lana opens the front door and what's inside is shot-by-shot replications of each room in the Loud House.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: Whoa.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Cut to each of the Loud siblings(sans Lana) getting in their beds.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lana: [offscreen] Oh, and by the way... There wasn't any more leaves to make blankets out of! So, I used some of the poison ivy bushes.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Cut to Lana, who has several spots on her feet.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lana: It'll itch really bad at first, but you'll get used to it after a while.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Siblings: Wait, what?!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[The siblings soon get covered in poison ivy spots as they start to scratch themselves anxiously.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Siblings: LANA!!!

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Transition to morning, when the sun rises. Cut to everyone near a mud puddle, covering up their poison ivy spots.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: Good thing mud soothes poison ivy.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lynn: We wouldn't have this poison ivy [glares at Lana] if it wasn't-

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: [shushes Lynn] No more of the blame game, OK? Playing it isn't going to get us anywhere closer to home.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lynn: [groans] FIne. But it's still-

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Lincoln raises a brow at Lynn.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lynn: Alright, alright! I'll stop.

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lisa: Listen up. The best course of action, after this poison ivy wears off, is to at least make it across the border to the U.S.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Cut to the siblings walking away from the forest, until they come across Ontario from a hilltop.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: At last! Civilization!

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lori: Let's go see if there's a faster way of getting home here.

<p style="font-weight:400;">[All of them start to walk down the hilltop, until Lola slips and bumps into the other sisters. As a result, they all tumble down, until they get entirely covered in snow, forming a large snowball. Lincoln looks behind his back.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">Lincoln: Uh oh...

<p style="font-weight:400;">[Lincoln frantically sprints from the giant snowball, all the way down the hill, until he runs into a alleyway wall and falls back from the collision. He looks behind, and before he could react, he collides with the snowball. The screen gets covered in snow from the impact. It soon clears away to show the siblings in a dogpile, all of them with stars hovering around their heads.]

<p style="font-weight:400;">WIP