User blog:MrTyeDye/Fanfiction: Peeking Through the Fourth Wall (Episode 27)

Here's the next episode of Peeking Through the Fourth Wall!

''[We open on the couch. This time, Lincoln is joined by Lori, Lola, Lisa and Lily.]''

Lincoln: Hey, everyone! Welcome to another episode of Peeking Through the Fourth Wall. This time we'll be revisiting an author we looked at not too long ago: Austria-Man.

Lisa: Ah. The one who portrayed you as a narcoleptic.

Lincoln: Yeah, that one. Anyway, this one's called... "A Town Hates a Boy". Uh oh.

(three-year-old Lincoln hands Lori a chocolate)

Lincoln: Wait, sorry, this isn't the right story. This is something else he wrote, called "Loud House Jokes". I think it's just a series of "jokes" involving us.

Lola: Eh, let's read it anyway.

Lincoln: Happy Valentine's Day, sister!

''Lori: Valentine's Day? Today isn't Valentine's Day. It's on February 14th, not on every 14th day of the month.''

''Lincoln: Oh. So could you give me the chocolate back?''

Lori (innocent): What chocolate?

[The five Louds stare blankly at the screen.]

Lincoln: Moving on...

Leni is sitting in the bath tub and looks angry)

''Leni: This medicine is silly! I must take ten drops in warm water every day!''

[Lori chuckles.]

Lori: Okay, that's a little funny.

(Luna is in the backyard and makes music with her e-guitar)

(Mr. Grouse appears on the garden fence)

''Mr. Grouse: Luna! Could I borrow your full music equipment for tonight, please?''

Luna: Sure, Mr. Grouse!

(she hands him all her instruments and boosters)

''Luna: What are your plans, Mr. Grouse? Do you wanna make a party tonight?''

Mr. Grouse: No; I wanna sleep in peace; just one night at least!

Lincoln: I'd object, but honestly, I'd appreciate that too.

Lola: 'Cept now Mr. Grouse can just keep it forever.

Lincoln: How so?

Lola: His yard, his property.

(Lincoln is going in the hall. Suddenly he hears a noise from Luan's room)

''Lincoln: Luan! Is something wrong?''

''Luan: No; everything's okay. I was just testing my comedy equipment.''

Lincoln: But why do you slip on a carrot?

Luan (sighs): Because bananas were sold out...

Lincoln: How do you even slip on a carrot? I guess you could trip on a carrot, but that's not quite as funny.

''Lynn: I love sports! This time I try boxing! But there's an important rule: the next battle is the hardest one.''

Lori: That's not really a rule.

So I let the next battle out and fight the overnext, what means that I'm free tomorrow!

[...]

[Sorry, I got nothing.]

Lisa: Bear in mind that English is not this author's first language, Grammy. He is, as his name would imply, from Austria.

Lincoln: I'm just wondering what the "overnext" is. Is that the Austrian version of Overwatch?

[Beat]

Lincoln: You think Lynn would get along with Tracer?

Lori: Lincoln, you don't honestly expect us to answer that, right? I don't even know who "Tracer" is.

Lisa: Nor do I.

Lily: Nah-bah.

Lola: I think she'd like Widowmaker more.

[Everyone looks at Lola.]

Lola: What?

Lucy: So that means that you can sleep longer tomorrow?

Lynn: Unfortunately not, because there's another important rule: as a boxer I must stay up before 9.

Lola: I don't get it.

Lori: Yeh, we don't either.

(Lynn Loud Sr. is in Lincoln's room and talks with him)

Lynn Loud Sr.: „See, my son; I didn't have so much stuff when I was your age...

''Lincoln: Why do you tell me this? It's not my fault that my father can better handle money than your father.''

Lori: You know, I think I've heard that joke before. I remember seeing it in one of Pop-Pop's old magazines.

Lincoln: How can you see with no eyes?

''Lucy: I don't know. How can you walk with no brain?''

Lori: Um... mean?

Teacher: Lana; your composition about your dog is very good.

Lana (proud): Thanks.

Teacher: But it's the same like from your sister Lola.

''Lana: Of course! Because we have the same dog.''

Lola: Can't argue with that.

''Lola (very proud): Lincoln! Our class will make a stage play 'The Beauty and the Beast'! And I will play the major role!''

''Lincoln: Congratulations! But who will play the Beauty?''

Lola: Oh, ha, ha, ha! You think you're so funny, don't you, Lincoln Loud?

Lincoln: Well, I don't like to toot my own horn, but I do know my way around a joke-

Lola: You're gonna have to find your way around my fist in a second.

(Lisa comes into the living room. Lori, Leni and Lola are sitting on the couch)

''Lisa: Hello, my dear blond sisters! Do have an idea, what's the most used word is?''

Lori: Hmm, maybe telephone?

Lori: Telephone? Who says that anymore? Everyone nowadays just says "phone".

Leni: Purse?

Lola: Makeup?

''Lisa: You're all wrong. The most used word is "I".''

all sisters: I?!

Lori: I think, you're silly!

Leni: I say, that you're wrong!

Lola: I say, that's not true!

Lisa: Sigh...

Lisa: Actually, we're all wrong. The most used word in the English language is "the". Although I was considerably closer than any of you.

(Rita holds Lily. Lily burps)

Rita: Oh; you're such a sweetie...

Lily (thinks): Hmm; that not what she says when Daddy or my siblings are doing this...

Lincoln: Yeah! And how come it's okay for her to wear diapers and not us? Double standards, I swear.

[Everyone looks at Lincoln.]

Lola: You're weird.

Lincoln: Oh, come on! I was joking! It was a joke!

Lori: You try to think of a joke and that's where your mind goes first? Sometimes I wonder about you, Lincoln.

Lincoln: Just drop it, okay?

Lisa: If you insist.

''[They all turn back towards the screen. Lily reaches into her diaper, pulls out a pacifier and offers it to Lincoln.]''

Lily: Ba-ba?

Lincoln: I'm good, Lily.

(It's Rita's birthday and all family members celebrate with her)

''Lynn Loud Sr.: Here's the cake. Try to blow all candles out.''

(Rita blows all candles out and all the people clap)

Lori: What was your wish, mom?

Rita: You all shall forget, how many candles are on the cake...

Lola: Well, now we definitely won't. Nice going, Mom.

(Lynn Loud Sr. is in a mortuary)

Employee (shows him a corpse): Is this your wife?

Lynn Loud Sr.: Yes.

Employee (shows him the damaged Vanzilla): And is this your car?

''Lynn Loud Sr.: Buu-huu-huu! Yes!''

[Beat]

Lori: I don't even get that one.

Lincoln: Yeah, me neither. But we've got a story to read, so let's just move on. This is "A Town Hates A Boy"!...for real this time.

(Lisa is standing in her lab/room and holds two beakers in her hands. She pours a fluid from the one beaker into the other beaker. Than we can see a small explosion in the beaker)

Lisa: Well; I think it's ready.

(She pours the fluid into a atomizer)

Lisa: So now we will see, what it can make...

(She starts to use it on herself, but then she stops)

''Lisa: Wait a second... what am I doing here? It could be dangerous. I must use it on a dispensable person.''

Lisa: It is highly unethical to view other human beings as "dispensable", even in the name of science.

Lincoln: Since when do you care about scientific ethics?

(Suddenly Lisa hears a sound from outside of the room. She looks out from her door and sees Lincoln, who walks whistling through the hall)

Lisa: I think, I've found the perfect idiot...

Lincoln: Hey! What gives?!

(She comes out)

''Lisa: My dear brother! Can you help me?''

Lincoln: Uhm; actually I'm very busy...

Lola: Busy whistling? Come on, Lincoln. Even Leni wouldn't fall for that one.

Lisa: It will just take a second.

Lincoln: (sighs] Okay...

(he comes into her room)

Lincoln: So what can I do for you?

Lisa (holds the atomizer): Can I use this perfume on you?

Lincoln: I don't like perfume...

Lincoln: Actually, I've never minded wearing fragrances. It's not shameful for a boy to want to smell good, right?

Lola: Aw, Linky. You're so forward- thinking.

[Lincoln smiles.]

Lola: But take my perfume without asking one more time and I'm going to dump it down your throat.

Lincoln: N-noted.

(Lisa ignores that and sprays on him)

Lori: Why did you even ask for his permission if you were just going to do it anyway?

''Lincoln: Ugh! That stinks!''

(Lisa smells and suddenly she grins evil)

Lincoln (coughs): Sorry, Lisa; but I must go now!

Lisa: Oh, yes; you must go...

(she takes a beaker with a red lightning fluid from her desk)

Lisa: You will go FOREVER!

[All five siblings' jaws drop.]

Lincoln: Was the experiment supposed to kill me?

Lily: Poo-poo...

(Lisa throws the beaker to Lincoln. But in this moment he leaves the room and closes the door. The beaker bounces from the door and comes back to Lisa)

Lisa: Oh, oh...

(We see the hall and hear an explosion behind Lisa's room door. Lisa is sitting on the floor and is completely charred)

''Lisa (gasps): What's happened with me? I've tried to kill my brother!''

[Beat]

Lincoln: Okay, now I'm confused. What the heck did she even spray me with?

Lori: Maybe it was that cilantro-scented perfume that Dana got me for my last birthday. Sure made me want to kill someone.

Lola: Wait, they make that?

Lori: Yes. And before you ask, no, I don't know why.

(She looks to the chalkboard)

Lisa: I must take some calculations...

(Lincoln is going through the hall. He still coughs)

Lincoln: I need fresh air...

Lincoln: Well, that and therapy.

(He passes Lynn's door. Lynn comes out and smells. Than she grins evil. She looks to Lincoln, who opens the window. She holds her hands to push him out from the window. She runs to him, but Lincoln looks to the side. He notices something on the floor.)

Lincoln (happy): A coin!

(He goes to the side and takes the coin. Lynn can't stop anymore and falls out from the window. Lincoln looks behind him)

Lisa: So the perfume fills people with an uncontrollable urge to murder whoever wears it. I'm not sure what I was trying to prove with my initial experiment.

[Lily hugs Lincoln.]

Lori: Aw, but Lily would never try to kill Lincoln, would she?

Lily: No!

''Lincoln: Huh? I thought I heard a noise.''

(He shrugs and goes downstairs. Suddenly Lily appears in front of him. She holds her bottle in her hand)

Lily (waves): Incon!

(Suddenly she smells. She grins evil and breaks her bottle on the wall. She hold the broken bottle in front of Lincoln)

Lily: Ie, Incon, ie! (Translation: Die, Lincoln, die!)

Lori: I guess we spoke too soon.

[Lily babbles indignantly.]

Lola: Also, how did she break her bottle? I thought those were made of plastic.

''Lincoln (smiles): Oh; Lily. You're so cute, but so clumsy.''

(He takes Lily and goes with her into the kitchen. Lynn Sr. and Lori are also there. Lori makes a sandwich. Lynn Sr. looks at the ingredients for lunch. Lincoln puts Lily into her high chair. She still tries to hurt Lincoln with her bottle. Lynn sr. sniffles and Lori smells too. Both begin to grin evilly. Lynn Sr. takes a glass of water and puts rat poison into it)

''Lynn Sr.: Here son! It's a hot day, so you should drink something.''

Lincoln: So he just happened to have rat poison on hand? In the kitchen? What if he accidentally grabbed it while he was reaching for the salt?

Lisa: This perfume doesn't just make us want to murder you; it also warps reality. Hence Lily's glass baby bottle.

''Lincoln: Sorry, dad; I'm in hurry! Clyde is waiting for me.''

(Lincoln goes away)

Lori: Oh, he can wait very long...

(she takes the knife, which she used for the bread. She throws the knife after Lincoln. But Lincoln leaves the house and closes the front door behind him. The knife bounces from the door and flies upstairs.)

Lori: How is that possible? I threw the pointy end at him. If anything, it would have gotten lodged in the door.

''(It bounces from the open twin's room door and flies into the room.) In the next moment Lola comes out from the room. She has a put-up hairstyle. The knife sticks in her tuft)''

[The five siblings' jaws drop again.]

Lola (disapproving) : Thanks, but I prefer a comb!

Lincoln: That's how you react after almost being stabbed in the face?!

[Lola stares at the screen, horrified.]

Lori: This is why we don't throw knives in this house.

(Lynn Sr., Lori and Lily come to their senses and gasp)

Lynn Sr: Oh, my gosh!

(He looks on the glass in his hand)

Lori: What have I done?

(Lily looks with watery eyes on her broken bottle. Suddenly Lynn comes through the back door into the kitchen)

''Lynn (to the viewer): Maybe you're wondering, why I'm not injured. That's because I'm strong, robust and good trained. But the main reason is... Mom was working outside under the window. I was landing exactly on her!''

[The five of them laugh.]

Lincoln: Okay, that's pretty funny.

Lisa: Although she's lucky she didn't fracture mother's back.

Lola: No, silly! That's only when you step on a crack. Step on a crack, break your mother's back. Step on a line, break your father's spine!

[Lisa just looks at Lola for a moment.]

Lisa: I've always found it fascinating how cheerfully morbid children's rhymes are.

(Rita comes through the back door into the kitchen)

Rita (with pain): My back...

(Lynn see the full glass of water in her father's hand)

Lynn (happy: A refreshing drink! Thanks, Dad!

(She takes the glass)

Lynn Sr: Wait, junior!

(She drinks the full glass. Than she looks dazed. At the same time Lisa is standing in front of her chalkboard)

[Beat]

Lori: Well, Lynn's dead.

''Lisa: The perfume! It can be just the perfume! The smell of this perfume makes it so all people who smell it, will fall in hate with the person, who has used it. That's... that's... that's wonderful!''

Lincoln: Define "wonderful". Because you spritzed it on me and I just left the house.

Lisa: I can think of quite a few adjectives I would use to describe the situation before I used "wonderful".

Lily: Poo-poo.

Lisa: That would be one of them, yes.

(Lisa dances through her room)

''Lisa: I will get a prize for this! I will be famous. I must show this perfume to the university!''

Lincoln: Doesn't she care at least a little that I could be in danger?

(She goes to the room's door. Suddenly an imaginary Lisa appears in front of her)

''Imaginary Lisa: Wait, Lisa! And what's with your brother?''

Lisa: What should be with him?

Imaginary Lisa: Everyone will hate him!

Lisa: Everyone hates him already.

Lincoln: Whoa! Where did that come from?! People don't hate me... do they?

Lori: Well, I can't say that nobody does, but we've all made enemies. It's part of life.

Lisa: More importantly, the notion that everyone hates you is empirically false. You have quite a few friends and acquaintances.

Lola: And a family who loves you very, very much.

Lily: Ga-ga.

Lincoln: Awww...

''Imaginary Lisa: Yes; but they want him to suffer a little bit. None of them have ever tried to kill him!''

''Lisa: I've nine other siblings. No one will notice that one of them will be missing.''

[Lisa gasps in horror, before staring at the screen in stunned silence for a long while.]

Lola: Lisa, are you okay?

Lisa: I'm... I'm appalled. What an ugly, abhorrent thing to say. It was already reprehensible of me to describe my own brother as "dispensable", but this? Is... is this really how the author sees me? What horrific stories has he heard about me?!

Imaginary Lisa: But he's your brother and you love him.

Lisa: Science is my only love.

Lisa: No! This is false! Objectively, demonstrably false! I...

[Lisa takes off her glasses and looks up at her older siblings.]

Lisa: You know I hold a great deal of adoration and love for all of you, do you not? I know I may not show it all of the time, but-

Lori: Trust me, Lisa, we know. It's just a story.

[Lily toddles over and hugs Lisa.]

Lily: Wi-sa.

''[Lincoln smiles, picks up Lisa and Lily and holds them both in his lap. Lisa smiles and reclines back, resting her head against Lincoln's chest.]''

Lincoln: I love you, Lisa.

Lisa: The feeling is mutual, Lincoln. I promise.

Imaginary Lisa: But who will make your beloved PBJ sandwiches, when he's dead?

''Lisa: Oh, my gosh! I must save him!''

Lola: You still haven't figured that out? Seriously?

Lisa: Well, sometimes preparing food is more art than science. And I am not very artistic.

(She runs out from her room. We cut to the living room, where the family members are still shocked from the scenes before. Rita is still holding her back)

''Lisa: Family members! It's an emergency!''

(Leni, Luna, Luan, Lucy and Lana are looking from their room doors. The other family members look upstairs and she comes down)

Lori: What's wrong, Lisa?

''Lisa: Hmm; it's a little bit complicated. I think, it's the best, when I will show it to you.''

(She takes the atomizer)

Lola: Oh; is this an exclusive perfume?

Lisa: It's something similar.

Lola: Really? You had to test it out on me? You couldn't have just told us what it does?

Lisa: I think it's well established that this version of myself has absolutely no scruples.

(She sprays it on Lola. Lola coughs)

''Lisa (holds her nose): Lana? Could you smell your sister, please?''

(Lana smells Lola. Then she grins evilly and she attacks her)

Lana: I will kill you; I will kill you!

(She tries to struggle with Lola, but Lisa uses a needle with sleeping potion on her)

Lola: What was that?!

''Lisa: Allow me to explain, my princess sister. This perfume is my newest invention. The substance by itself has no effect, but when someone has it on his/her body, then everyone who smells it, falls in hate with this person.''

Lincoln: And you invented this... why?

Lisa: Because I have no moral code aside from an infatuation with chaos.

''Lori: Wait a second? So that means, that's the reason, why we've tried to kill Lincoln?!''

Lisa: Uhm, yes...

Luna: Dude; that's not cool.

Lincoln: Well, at least the rest of the family cares about me in this world.

''Lucy: Yes; we must do something. At first we should bring our brother back at home.''

''Lisa: That's not so easy. You must think that we will fall also in hate with him, when we smell his perfume. So I must create an antidote, but I will need weeks...''

(Leni taps on Lisa's shoulder)

Lisa: Yes?

(Leni shows with her forefinger to her face. She has a clothespin on her nose)

Lisa: Ah, of course. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the most elusive.

''Lisa: Simple... but it could work!''

''Rita: My poor baby... I hope nothing will happen with him...''

(Last time we saw Lincoln, he had left his house. He goes across the neighbor hedge, where Mister Grouse is standing)

Lincoln: Hello, Mister Grouse!

''Mister Grouse: Lincoln! You're a menace!''

Lori: No, that's Dennis.

(He looks to the viewer)

''Mister Grouse: What? I hate him already.''

Lincoln: I don't think he does. At least, not anymore.

(We cut to a backyard. Four girls are in a swimming pool. There's a blonde girl with a red bathing suit and a deep tan, a red haired girl with a green bathing suit and lip stick, a blonde girl with a blue bathing suit and lipstick, a latina girl with a purple bathing suit and lipstick and another latina girl with a yellow bikini, lipstick and sunglasses. All of them relax in the cool water. Lincoln comes across the yard and a small breeze blows his perfume smell to the four girls. They smell and grin evilly)

''Blonde Girl with red bathing suit: Hey; girls! I hate this boy. We should drown him!''

Lincoln: That's a... little on-the-nose, wouldn't you say?

Lori: Very funny, Lincoln.

Lincoln: Funny?

Lori: On the nose. Because they smelled you. I get it.

Lincoln: Oh, wow. I... I didn't even do that one on purpose.

Lisa: Well, you seem to have a strong instinct for wordplay, if nothing else.

Other girls: Yeah!

Blonde Girl with red bathing suit: Hoo, hoo, little boy!

(Lincoln looks to them. The blonde girl with the red bathing suit waves)

''Blonde Girl with red bath suit: What are you doing? It's such a hot day. Do you wanna play with us? Come to us in the pool!''

Lincoln: Gotta say, I'd have a hard time turning down that offer.

Lincoln: Thanks, but I must go to my friend Clyde!

(He goes away. In this moment the perfume has no effect anymore on the girls and they look very shocked.)

''Lincoln goes on the sidewalk. Suddenly he sees some soldiers on a tank.)''

Lincoln (to himself): Ah; they prepared this tank for the parade.

Lincoln: What? Who would plan a parade in the middle of the suburbs? With tanks, no less?

(Lincoln smiles and salutes to the soldiers. The soldiers smile and salute back. Lincoln goes away and a soft breeze blows his smell to the soldiers. The soldiers smell)

''Commander: Soldiers! This kid is a public enemy. We must eliminate him!''

Lisa: Are you sure you're not looking for Chuck D and Flava Flav?

[The other four siblings give Lisa a confused look.]

(The soldiers go into the tank and follow Lincoln on the sidewalk. Lincoln doesn't notice it.)

Lincoln: I think I would notice a tank rolling down the street after me. I'm not that oblivious.

(A further breeze comes and blows Lincoln's smell. A young man with a baseball bat comes across the sidewalk and smells it. He grins evilly and tries to strike Lincoln with his bat. Lincoln notices something and looks down to his feet)

''Lincoln: Dang! My shoelaces have come undone!''

(He ducks down to tie them. In this moment the tank behind him sinks its gun barrel)

Commander: FIRE!

Lincoln: Okay, if the tank was just brought out for the parade, why is it loaded?!

Lisa: Please refer to my previous hypothesis about the perfume warping reality.

(The man with the bat runs to Lincoln, striking him. But in exactly this moment the projectile comes out from the gun barrel. Lincoln is ready with his shoes and hears a noise. He looks up and sees just two smoking shoes on the sidewalk in front of him)

Lincoln: Very strange...

Lori: A man just died in front of you, Lincoln. "Very strange" is kind of an understatement in this situation.

(He goes to Clyde's house and knocks on the door. Clyde opens the door. He has a red nose and swollen eyes)

''Lincoln: Clyde! Are you alright?''

''Clyde: Hi, Lincoln... I've a cold...''

Lola: So call him and tell him to cancel your plans! Do you want him to get sick?!

Lincoln: So maybe you should stay in your bed...

''Clyde: Oh, no; Lincoln... fresh air is good for me...''

(Lincoln's perfume smell flies to Clyde's nose, but it will be blocked up, because Clyde's nose is blocked. Howard McBride appears with a chopper in his hand)

''Howard: Hey; Lincoln! Do you wanna eat with us? We will make steaks.''

(He smells and grins evilly.)

''Lincoln: No, thanks; Mister McBride. We wanna take a stroll.''

(Howard take his chopper and throws it to Lincoln. But in this moment both boys are leaving the house and close the door. The chopper sticks in the door. Howard gasps.)

''To the same time the Loud family looks for Lincoln. All of them have clothespins on their noses)''

Lori: Lincoln!

Lola: Lincoln!

Rita: Oh; where's my baby?

[Lily smiles and waves.]

Lincoln: She means me, Lily.

(Now they come across the backyard with the pool. The four girls are outside from the pool and are dismayed. The blonde girl with the red bathing suit is holding a towel over her shoulders with both hands)

''Blonde Girl with red bathing suit: I can't believe it... we've seriously thought to kill an unknown boy...''

(The Louds looks over the fence)

''Lori: Hey; girls! Have you seen a young boy with white hair?''

''Blonde Girl with red bathing suit: Yes; we have. We don't know him; we've never seen him before, but we've tried to drown him.''

Lori: Why did she say that like it was a completely normal sentence?

''Leni: What?! You've tried to kill my little brother? Oh; how could you...''

''Lori: Leni! It's not their fault; it was Lisa's perfume.''

''Leni: Oh, yes! I'm so silly...''

(The Louds go away. They are looking. Suddenly they see Clyde on the sidewalk.)

''Lori (runs to him and waves): Clyde! Clyde!''

''Other family members: Lori! Don't do this...''

Clyde (from off-screen): L-l-l-lori?!

(We hear a splashing noise from off-screen. Then, Lori appears from off-screen. Her face is full of blood)

Lori: Ew. I'm so glad he doesn't do that anymore.

Clyde (from off-screen): I can smell again!

Lola: Uh-oh...

Lily: Poo-poo...

Lori: I will hide myself behind you...

(Luan goes to Clyde)

Luan: Clyde; where's Lincoln?

''Clyde: Oh; we were taking a stroll. Then we were coming to this road. On the other sidewalk we saw an ice cream man. Lincoln wants to get two cones for us...''

Lynn: Yes?

''Clyde: He crossed the road without looking. And a car was coming this way and it couldn't move out anymore...''

Louds: WHAT?!

[The Louds stare at the screen for a moment.]

Lincoln: Well, that's a dismal way to end the story.

(all their eyes fills with tears)

Leni: Oh; Linky...

Rita: My poor baby...

Lucy: And I thought, I would be happy about my sibling's funeral, but I was wrong...

Lily: Inky!

''Clyde: What's the matter? It's okay.''

''Lynn (with tears in her eyes): Okay?! How could you say this?! Your best friend is dead and you can say just "okay"?!''

''Clyde: Dead? Who said something like this? Lincoln is fine.''

''Lynn Sr.: What? But you said that he want cross the road and the car couldn't move out anymore.''

''Clyde: Yes. The car was driven exactly through a puddle and poor Lincoln was covered with mud.''

Lori: Oh.

''Lisa: That's perfect! The mud should mask the perfume smell.''

Rita: But where's Lincoln now?

(Clyde shows with his forefinger to the opposite sidewalk. There is a car wash. Two employees are standing there)

''Employee 1:I've been working here for ten years, but I've never seen something like this. He has paid for a complete car wash. That's okay, but he haven't even a car!''

(The Louds see that Lincoln comes out from the car wash)

Lincoln: Ah; that's better.

Louds: LINCOLN!

Lincoln: Wait, wouldn't the car wash rinse off the perfume, too? I think I'll be fine.

(all family members run to him. They hug and kiss him)

Lola: Oh, Lincoln; we're so happy that you're fine.

Lucy: My heart is full of joy...

Lincoln: „What are you talking about?

''Clyde: We should celebrate this. Do you wanna come to our home and eat with us? My dads will make steaks.''

Lincoln: Wait, how does Clyde know about the perfume? And if he doesn't, what exactly is he asking that we celebrate?

Lola: Oh, shush. The story's almost over.

Sisters: YEAH!

Clyde: But could you be a little bit more silent this time, please?

Sisters: Okay.

(The Louds and Clyde want go away, but then they realize that someone is missing)

Rita: Wait; where's Lori?

(Lori comes out from the car wash)

Lori: Ah; that's better.

Lori: Has this author ever been through a car wash? It's not like taking a shower, I can tell you that. Those bristles would probably scrape my skin off.

''Employer 1: Like I said. The people are crazy today.''

(They make their way to Clyde's house. Suddenly the blonde girl with the red bathing suit appears behind her fence.)

''Blonde Girl with red bathing suit: Hey; little boy. I'm sorry.''

''Lincoln (confused): You're sorry? For what?''

Blonde Girl with red bathing suit: Take this as an appology...

(she leans over. She takes Lincoln's face with her right hand. Then she closes her eyes and gives him a soft kiss on the cheek. Lincolns smiles and blushes. Lola is holding her handy)

Lincoln: ...you know what? I'll take it.

Lola: Hi, hi; and next time, when he won't come to my tea party, I will show that photo to Ronnie Anne...

Lincoln: [Gasps] You wouldn't!

Lola: What's the big deal? It's not like she's your girlfriend or anything, is she?

Lincoln: [Stutters angrily]

(The other family members giggle. Lynn Sr. looks to Lisa)

Lynn Sr.: Lisa?

''Lisa: I know; Father. I've disappointed you...''

Lynn Sr.: Yes.

Lisa: ...you say that I should never do something like this to Lincoln or one of my other siblings...

Lynn Sr.: You're right.

Lisa:...because even when I'm the smartest in the house, I've no right to bring someone of you in danger...

''Lynn Sr.: Exactly. I'm sorry that I must've been so harsh with you.''

Lisa: Hmm? I don't think he was very harsh at all.

Lisa: And I'm grounded; right?

Lynn Sr.: Yes.

Lisa: Well deserved, in my opinion.

(Lisa looks up to him with puppy eyes)

Lynn Sr.: But at first you will get your prize.

Lisa: Prize?! For what?!

Lisa: Really?!

Lynn Sr.: Of course.

(He puts her up and she kisses his full face.)

(We cut to the university. Lisa is standing on a stage. The headmaster comes with a document)

Lisa: Ah. Although I don't know why my father would be the one to decide whether I receive the award.

Headmaster: And it's an honor for me to give this document to...

(He moves to the side and sniffs. Then he moves back to Lisa)

Headmaster: It's an honor...

(He moves to the side and sniffs again. Then he moves back to Lisa)

Headmaster: ...to give...

(He moves to the side and sniffs a third time. Lisa looks nervous)

Lisa: Oh, oh...

(She runs away. But now we see that the headmaster isn't sniffing; he is just sneezing)

Headmaster: ACHOO!

(He moves back)

Headmaster: Like I said; it's an honor...

(He notices that Lisa isn't here anymore)

Headmaster: Hmm; could it be that she won't get the document anymore?

The End

Lincoln: So what's the moral of the story here?

Lisa: Don't use your siblings as guinea pigs for life-threatening experiments. Also, Lincoln is not dispensable.

Lincoln: I can get behind that!

[Beat]

Lori: But how did Lynn survive drinking that rat poison?

Next time on Peeking Through the Fourth Wall...

''"I had an awesome time, Ronnie Anne," he confessed, giving her a warm smile. "Now I have almost every present decided."''

"Almost?"

"Well, there's still one really special girl and I haven't decided what to buy her yet," he said, staring directly at her eyes.

''[All ten sisters lean into the TV, smiling. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne just roll their eyes.]''

Ronnie Anne: Oh, geez, here we go...

''She made a new bubble with her gum, perhaps hoping to be able to hide her blushed face behind it. It finally exploded, and she tried to make herself as small as possible so he couldn't see how ashamed she was. She didn't say anything, but as they walked, her right hand fingers tangled with the those on Lincoln's left hand. They weren't holding hands, no! It was just an accident; they were walking and their fingers sort of interlaced with each other's. It was so silly that they didn't even acknowledge it, not bothering to separate each other.''

Luna: "Oh, this is so dumb, so let's keep doing it." Y'all ain't slick, kids. I see through you like you're bathing in Windex.

Lisa: Windex doesn't make you transparent, Luna.

Luna: Oh, hush. It's an expression.

Lisa: It's not a very good expression.

"Lincoln? I know tomorrow's a family day and everything," Ronnie Anne started, looking at the very interesting lines of the tiles, "but maybe, before dinner… we could, you know, hang out. Spend some time together."

''"I'd love that," he said. "Where?"''

"I'll let you know."

Sisters: Ooooooooooohhh!

Lincoln: Don't "oooooh" me!

''They finally reached the entrance of the mall, and their houses were in opposite directions. They stopped and looked at each other for a few instants.''

"Well… I'll see you tomorrow, then," he said.

"Yeah. See ya."

''Lincoln was twelve years old already. He had entered that stage where he didn't find girls disgusting anymore, but incredibly interesting. And along with his newfound interest, a new facet of him was born: the flirting Lincoln. With ten meddling sisters that were more than happy that give him every little piece of girl advice, he'd gotten a lot of tips on how to treat a girl. So, remembering something Leni had told him, Lincoln leaned against Ronnie Anne. Before she could react, Lincoln pressed his lips against his friend's cheek, and gave her a soft goodbye kiss. When he drifted away from her, he saw Ronnie Anne's face was as red as Santa's coat. He waited for her reaction with a smile.''

[Lincoln and Ronnie Anne look at each other, sharing a smile, before quickly looking back towards the screen.]

Lori: I saw that.

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne: No you didn't!

This Christmas on Peeking Through the Fourth Wall: "Secret Santa" by UnderratedHero!

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