Thread:YoshiRocker13/@comment-24200891-20161028223319/@comment-24200891-20161029225946

I read your comment. Thanks. I know it's hard to write something as heartwarming as Frigid Fever. I am proud of exploring the relationship between Luna and Linc. I thought harsh situation would make them closer. How heartwarmingly they support each other is supposed to be a contrast to the brutal reality that surrounds them. I put scene of Luna punching Linc for drama and realism. Who wouldn't freak out in this situation? The most adorable is flashback that she sang for him before he was born. I put there reality issues like drinks from strangers can be drugged, most people are selfish and don't care about you, street artists don't get payed well or that charity can be a disservise. Probably the most heartwarming is that Luna allows tired Lincoln sleep on her legs. It was one of the hardest fanfics to write.

Clyde losing interest in Lori would not make her feel bad. She would feel bad if Bobby's trust to her got limited. He already said he's going to keep his eye on her actions.

I think you are creative enough to make it better.

I have some suggestions. Luna would start to play worse because of her guilt. Saving life is great thing but it rarely happens when humiliating can easily happen every day. If the sisters supported him in achieving his successes it would mean something. F or example Lisa plays chess with Lincoln to help him prepare for chess tournament. Lynn would invite Lincoln for cycling instead of fighting him against his will. Lori would delate all her photos with bad things happening to Linc (in Sweet Spot she puked on Linc, make a photo and send it).

If Lucy gets taunted by sisters for the pony book, Lincoln tells them they learned nothing and they realise further how bad they generally are. One of the sisters can watch in tv a film in which someone became a really bad guy because he was bullied by older sibling. Linc never laughs from his sisters trying to achieve something, they also shall not.

I'll try to think about more tommorow.