User blog:Discofurby/Rhyming Recaps: Not a Loud

Linc needed his birth story for a report at school.

He said, "This should be easy, because, as a rule,

Mom and Dad keep our baby books stored way up here,

In the attic," and Clyde loved the picture of Lori,

But when they found Lincoln's baby book, the page marked "Birth Story",

Was blank and he said, "I'll go ask Mom and Dad,

'Cause if my report's nothing, my grade would be bad.",

But they acted nervous, like they'd been given a warning,

And Rita said Linc was born nightly, while Lynn Sr. said, "Morning,".

They couldn't agree on his weight or what the doctor was named,

So Lincoln was suspicious -- and he couldn't be blamed.

Lori said, "Do you remember how I got here?",

She said, "Of course. We were at home and Pop-Pop was there,

Then a scientist arrived and carried you in,

To meet me and our sisters Leni, Luna, Luan, and Lynn."

"I hate to question my future bride,

But scientists don't deliver babies," said Clyde.

Lincoln said, "What if I was not born, but made,

Like Larry the boy from the movie we played?"

Clyde said, "It would explain why your hair is white,

But let's test if you have powers and if you do, then we're right."

Lincoln couldn't be super-strong as he crashed right on down,

And he couldn't be super-fast because Scoots, the old clown,

Could go faster than him on her scooter. Linc sighed.

"It appears that you haven't been created," said Clyde.

Leni said, "Linc, you were brought by an eagle."

Linc said, "That makes no sense!," "Well, maybe it's beagle,"

Said Clyde, but Lincoln said, "That's also crazy!

Wait! I have an idea! It's a little bit hazy,

But maybe I'm half-eagle like the boy in the flick.

Let's see if I can act like I'm half eagle chick."

Linc couldn't fly and the worms made him spew,

And when Clyde suggested beagle, the dog food did too.

When Lincoln felt better, they asked Luna for her say.

She told them there were guys in dark suits on the day.

Lincoln thought that perhaps he was an alien boy.

An explanation for the white hair gave him some joy.

Those might've been federal agents back then,

So they checked for abilities too weird for human men.

Lincoln tried opening doors with his mind,

But he didn't have powers of any kind.

Lincoln and Clyde went to talk to Luan,

And she said, "I don't remember much, but from what I can,

We thought you'd be a girl and had decorated for one,

So when we had a boy the variety was fun."

Lincoln had another idea: "Maybe, just maybe,

They actually had a girl and switched me for another baby."

They got the birth announcements from the day Linc was born,

To see if he could've switched with a girl. Clyde was torn.

He wanted to help Lincoln find out what was true,

But if Lincoln moved out he wouldn't know what to do.

The tall, long-nosed, and ginger girls looked like their folks,

And Clyde said, "I hope it isn't here. This cactus pokes!".

Then a white-haired couple came with a girl who looked like Lori.

Perhaps she'd reveal Linc's real birth story.

She also played guitar like Luna and shared a favourite food with Lynn,

So they went to the Loud house and burst right on in.

"How dare you switch me with a girl across town?!".

His parents both laughed and said, "That ain't what went down!

We'll tell you what happened, you see, the van broke,

And the President's limo pulled over. No joke.

We wouldn't make it to the hospital and the president passed out,

So the first lady delivered you, but we weren't meant to talk about,

What happened, so that's why we were so secretive before,

And we didn't really want one daughter more.

We were just using stuff from when your sisters were babies,

And up until you, all of our kids were ladies.

The first lady was the one in the gloves and the mask,

And those guys were secret service, but I can see why you'd ask."

"What about the eagle?" Linc wanted to know.

"It was a blanket with the presidential seal. I'll show,

You," said his parents and then took it out,

So the story was proved and there was no room for doubt.

The parents hugged Lincoln and so did young Clyde,

Who got so sentimental that the boy cried.

So now we all know how Lincoln got there,

But we still don't know why the boy has white hair.