Gown and Out/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Gown and Out".

[The episode starts at Royal Woods Elementary, where they are hosting the Little Miss Royal Woods Pageant.] Cheryl: "Welcome back to the Little Miss Royal Woods Pageant. Up next, we are kicking off the talent portion with Lola Loud and her famous ribbon dance!"

[The interview portion] Cheryl: "How would you define true beauty?" Lola: "To me, true beauty means having big hair and an even bigger heart."

Crowd: [touched] "Awwwwww!" Lincoln: "Yes! Perfect balance of sap and sass." Lynn: "Ok, how do you know this junk?" Lincoln: "Do you seriously not remember when I was the twins' pageant coach?" [notices something] "Shhh! They're announcing the winner!" Cheryl: "And your next Little Miss Royal Woods is...!" [The audience gasps in shock] "You guessed it." [The audience gasps again] "Lola!" Lola: [surprised] "Whaaat?" [Cheryl places the crown on top of Lola's head as the audience cheers]

[Backstage, Lola meets up with her family.] Rita: "Oh, we are so proud of you, sweetie!" Lola: "Thanks you guys. It was nothing." Cheryl: [comes in with some papers] "I have some exciting news, sweetie. Winning this title qualifies you for the Little Miss Southeastern Michigan Pageant!" Lola: [suprised to hear this] "Wha-? A-A regional pageant? I've never competed at that level before." Cheryl: "Pack your bags! Cause it's a coming up next weekend!" Lola: "Wow!" Lynn Sr.: "Next weekend? I have my pastry workshop." Rita: "And I have my dental conference." Lola: "But, but it's my first shot at the big time!" [Rita and Lynn Sr. get an idea and look at Lori.] Lori: "Are you looking at me? I can feel you looking at me. Uh, look, no offense, but being a pageant chaperone, isn't really how I planned to spend my weekend."

Rita: "What if we threw in a spa package? Hmm?"

Lori: "You literally have a deal."

Lola: [cheers at this and hugs Lori] "Thanks, Lori!"

Lincoln: "Lola, what's wrong? [gasps] Did your hair fall flat?"

Lola: "No, it's not my hair. It's the other contestants. They're... um..." [whispers it into the phone] Lincoln: "What was that?"

Lola: "They're... BETTER than I am! What if I don't win? What if I looo... Loooo... ooooo..." [starts to get nauseous] "I can't even say it without getting nauseous!"

Lincoln: "Lola, you're not going to lose! You're a pageant powerhouse! Now make sure you get to bed early tonight, you don't want to wake up all puffy eyed and blotchy."

Lola: "Yeah, yeah... Or do I...?"

Lola "A girl's most important accessory is her brain."