User blog:InklingBear/Life of Pets - Hugh & Me

Story #18 - Hugh & Me
 12:30pm

It's a typical Saturday afternoon down in the neighborhood of Royal Woods. As always, the skies were the magnificent color of cyan without a single cloud for the day. Another day where the family isn't present inside or anywhere near the household as they're all out to go somewhere. The middle child of the family however, isn't with them. He was determined to make a simple plan of his go to work.

He walked around the living room as he waited for a knock on the door for minutes for Hugh, the stud muffin that had most of the family gang up on two years prior. With his sisters out of the way, thing could possibly be a little different. It was going to be just the two men as they'll soon work together to improve the boy's academic performance. Last time Lincoln remembered, he was sitting at a D minus at one of his school subjects, especially mathematics.

Who could blame him, really? His math teacher stole all the boys' attention in the classroom. She was a beautiful distraction to them in more ways than one. How none of the kids managed to never take their eyes off the woman could be anybody's guess. Lincoln had to make sure nothing would ruin his only opportunity of improving his grade in the subject. He didn't want to fail the class, especially at the end of the semester.

A few seconds of walking around later, it was showtime.


 * KNOCK*

"Finally, that must be him!" Lincoln said as he walked to the door to answer. He opened the door as politely as he could, seeing the face he hasn't seen in more than two years. Hugh looked nervous, but he was grateful to see the boy again after a while.

He smiled at the kid. "Hey there, Lincoln." Hugh said. "Haven't seen you in a while."

"Same here," Lincoln replied. "Why don't you come in and we can get started on tutoring? I promise you this time, you won't find any girls here for about maybe two to three hours. They out to see some girly movie that I didn't want to see."

Hugh sighed out of relief. "Thank goodness," he said. "You make such a good plan. Getting clobbered by a bunch of siblings totally wasn't a pretty sight the last time I was here."

"Tell me about it." Lincoln said. "Anyway, I assure you this one's going to be completely different from last time."

"Gosh, I sure hope so, mate." Hugh nervously answered.

 One Hour Later

The two men sat in the living room on the family couch together. There was pencil and paper sitting right on the table in front of them as the boy's tutor continued on with another math problem for Lincoln to answer straight from the book. "Next, for this simple long division problem without using a calculator, How many times can twelve go into the number eight hundred and twenty eight?" Hugh said.

Lincoln broke a little sweat. He had a feeling this one would be a real toughie. "Oh man." he muttered before he picked up the pencil from the desk. He wrote the problem out on a piece of paper next to it. In no time, the equation was setup and ready to go.

"Let's see," Lincoln uttered as he continued to write. "Divide that first digit..."

Meanwhile, as the boy completely forgot about the pets, Charles the dog emerged from the open doorway from the dining room. The first thing he spotted upon peeking in the living room was the young man he once saw. It was unexpected, even for him. He was truly fixated. His crush filter quickly switched over to the on position. His ears rose up as his irises turned into red pulsing hearts of love at first sight before he frantically wagged his tail.

"Jumpin' junebugs!" he uttered as he hid back behind the wall. "What's he doin' back here?"

The dog panted. He was just as ecstatic as he was in love with a man.

"Oh boy," Charles said. "Ever since that encounter wit' him a few years back thanks ta love gettin' the better of this family, we scared him off!" He scratched his head for a brief moment. He tried to think of something that wouldn't remind Hugh about his last visit to the house. "What am I gonna do?"

The canine continued to brainstorm for a little while. A couple seconds in, he hatched an idea. "Aha! I've got it!" he exclaimed. It was time for the white canine to win his way to a young man's heart. He wasted no time licking his paw before he stoked his head back as if he was trying to impress another dog breed. In this case, he was, but with an adult human being instead.

Charles equipped a crimson red bow tie to his neck before he turned to the reader. "Whattaya think?" he asked. A second passed before it hit him in the head. "Ah, right. Ya can't tell cause it's words yer lookin' at. But hey, ain't nothin' stoppin' ya from paintin' pictures in yer head or somethin' like that."

The dog finished his sentence with a happy smile. He prepared himself to barge into the living room with a determined expression painted on his canine face. "Wish me luck you, I'm goin' in!"

Charles walked straight into the living room. All the white canine can hope for at this point was for Hugh to not freak out at the sight of his sudden appearance. He was a couple feet away from the man in question now. It was time to make his first impression.

Lincoln finally completed the long division problem. To him, in his mind, it turned out to be cakewalk. "There we go. The answer is-"

Charles' barking caught the kid off of his guard. He turned to see the family dog placing his furry paws on Hugh's leg as he panted and wagged his tail as if he wanted him to play with the little animal. The man was confused, but he felt a little paranoid on the inside.

"Uh..." Hugh uttered.

"Dang it," Lincoln said as he dropped his pencil. "I completely forgot about the pets!"

Charles hopped up on the man's legs as he gave the man a good lick on his face cheeks. Hugh yelped and complained as if he was a genuine neat freak. "Down boy! Heel!" he said as he extend his arms out.

Lincoln grabbed the love-infested dog. "Get off of him, Charles." the kid said as he pulled him away from the young man. "We're not going to go through the same thing again!"

The middle child of the family walked to the kitchen as Hugh took a look at Lincoln's work. He was doing good. It left a little impression on him. "He's right." he said.

Cliff the cat descended down the stairs as he was looking for a quick bite to snack on. Walt the bird followed the hungry feline from behind.

"Was it really worth unraveling three rolls of toilet paper just for your own amusement?" Walt asked.

Cliff smirked. "Of course bird," the cat responded. "Despite bein' less interestin' than scratchin' posts, I'd say it's anudder way of passin' time fer me."

The two animals were finally on the first floor. "Now, I've got a taste fer-"

Before the cat could utter another word, he got a sight full of Hugh as he sat there writing on some sheets of paper. It was an unexpected surprise to him. He never thought he would see his face appear in the house again. His eyes were soon taken over by red hearts as he stared on with a smile.

"Him..." Cliff concluded. He was too attached to him to even move a muscle from this point.

"Uh... what are you talking about?" Walt said before he glanced over to the man in question. He slowly gasped in exhilaration before the same thing inevitably happened to the bird in almost no time at all. "Oh... my..."

It was like love at first sight all over again. Through the minds of the bird and the cat, the adoring sight of the young man made the two melt inside. They zipped over to the man as they showered him with their affection. Walt landed on the man's shoulders as he nuzzled his head against his cheeks. The bird almost blushed after doing that cute action of his, despite being quite bitter towards most of if not everyone around him.

Cliff purred at the young man's legs as he grabbed ahold of his right. Red hearts floated around the devoted feline as the same effect took place for the yellow bird. It was like a relationship bond that has yet to turn awry.

Hugh felt uncomfortable for a second. His experience with the Loud family two years ago was an unsettling experience in his mind. He was the casanova in the eyes of nine of Lincoln's siblings, three pets and his father. It was like reliving that same traumatizing experience all over again.

The man started to sweat now. What if pets manage to provoke that same experience he had again? This time, he had to power through, no matter what. It's his job to make sure Lincoln does well in his math class. At least this time, the house was free of the boy's ten siblings as well as the parents of the household. He would soon think that the animals wouldn't be much of a bother.

The purring and the nuzzling session continued for at least some seconds before Lincoln returned back into the room. He wasn't surprised in the slight the moment he spotted Cliff and Walt showing off their devotion towards his tutor.

The boy facepalmed. "You've got to be kidding me." he spat as he approached the pets. He grabbed ahold of the feline as he attempted to pull him off of Hugh's leg. "Cliff, get off!"

The cat was vexed now. He hissed at the child before he decided to viciously attack him for restraining him from the man. A cloud of violence erupted not long after much to Hugh's surprised reaction. Yelps of pain galore from the eleven year old boy for a short time before the cloud of violence cleared up. The aftermath revealed that Lincoln was covered in several scratches. They were so bad that it even shows right through his shirt. Cliff growled at him before he returned to Hugh as he purred against him once more.

The young man felt bad for Lincoln. He was just a boy willing to take this opportunity as seriously as he could so he could make sure that he wouldn't fail his math class. He didn't know what to do.

Lincoln was determined. He wasn't going to let his own animals ruin the only opportunity he has to try and improve his academic performance for the end of his semester.

"That's it!" he yelled.

 Few Minutes Later

Lincoln brought the feline and the bird out in the back porch of the house. Unbeknownst to the kid, Charles casually walked right back in the house to make off with the man inside. He explained to the animals why he did what he had to do despite the two animals being cross with him.

"I don't have time for you guys to distract us." Lincoln said. "This is an opportunity to improve my D minus in school and I refuse to let you guys shatter it for me!"

Walt glared at the boy while Cliff hissed once more. As much as Lincoln didn't want to put the animals in a situation they would rather not be in, the boy had to be strong and strict.

"Will you guys knock it off?" he angrily uttered. "Once this is over, you can bother me all you want." He took a few steps back into the house. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some math problems to solve."

The boy closed the door.

Understandably, the cat and the bird were mad at him. Cliff crossed his arms as he flopped his ears down to show he's upset. "Nobody tells me ta knock it off." he angrily spat.

"Same here!" Walt added. "How dare he have the guts to even say that?"

"And besides, the man seemed pretty okay wit' us snugglin' wit' him," Cliff said. "So I really don't see why the kid's gotta make such a big deal outta this."

Walt nodded in agreement. "I know right?" the bird uttered. "It's not like we're attacking him or tearing him apart or anything, it's more like having him feel comfortable around the house... at least for me it is."

Cliff perked his ears up. "Ya know what bird? Yer gosh darn right." he said with a smile on his feline face. "Didn't ya see me purrin' at his legs? He seemed ta be into that."

Walt's irate expression shifted towards the cat. Hearts floated around his head as he laid into the feline. "Yeah right! That man loved it when I snuggled against his face."

Cliff grew just as irate towards Walt. He acted like he was jealous as hearts soon floated above the cat. "Are ya blind, bird?" he said. "Ya make the man nervous by doin' that."

"Well, you make him cringe whenever you're around his legs!" Walt spat.

Cliff growled. "Ya better watch it bird before the next thing I'm gonna hunt fer is bird meat!"

Walt glared even more at Cliff. "No, you better watch it before that head of yours gets painted white!" He pecked the feline a couple of times as he meowed in pain. He flew off before Cliff could even lay a claw on him.

Cliff angrily made a fist as he yelled right at the bird. "Why I oughta..." he spat. He sighed soon after. One day, he'd be willing to show Walt that he wasn't a cat to mess with at times like this.

His attention shifted to the unlocked doggy door. He knew that Lincoln wouldn't be that resilient to keep the animal out. He was determined to woo the young man, no matter who was in his way. He deviously smiled before he casually walked through the doggy door.

Cliff smirked. "I'll show him!" he said. "In the name of love, nothin's gonna stop me from winnin' somebody's heart!"

"The answer is eighty five with a remainder of two!" Lincoln said.

"That's correct," Hugh said. "And you've completed it in under half a minute!"

Lincoln smirked. "Guess you could say that I'm a pretty fast learner."

"Agreed." Hugh said. "You might be ready for that test this coming Monday afternoon, mate!"

After writing down more problems on his sheet of paper, Lincoln felt a sudden sensation in his bladder now. He needed to use the bathroom. "Uh, Hugh. If you don't mind... I need to go pee." the boy stated. "I should be back in five." He bolted up the flight of stairs as if he was trying to be the first in line for a big sale at a mall.

"Alright, mate," Hugh said in response. "Take as much time as you need."

Charles emerged from the dining room doorway once again. He thought about his next approach since his first one was interrupted by the eleven year old middle child.

"Ok, kissin' his face didn't seem ta work." Charles uttered as he scratched his canine head. "How am I gonna execute my next approach..." He scratched his chin now. "Hmm... I could try somethin' wit' peanut butter but everybody knows I'll lick it all up anywhere it's at so... that's outta the question." As he continued to brainstorm about his move, he got a little surprise that he didn't see coming.

"Watch out, ya mutt!" Cliff spat. The speeding black feline unintentionally got the poor pup to spin several times as he zipped over to Hugh, standing right in front of him. The cat's sudden appearance caught the man off guard once again. He looked on as he was curious as to what he was going to do.

Was Cliff going to purr at his feet again? What if he decided to hop up on his legs to sleep some of the day away? Unlike most cats, Cliff did something completely unorthodox that no other ordinary cat has been seen doing.

The feline walked up to the man before he placed a paw on his right hand. Hugh was confused as to what was happening. But as he would remind himself to continue helping the boy, even if it means he had to unwillingly get seduced by three animals living in the Loud household.

Cliff sighed. "Je t'aime," he uttered. It had Charles in shock as he looked on in jealousy. Hugh was confused. Even if he couldn't understand what Cliff was saying, he felt understandably uncomfortable. "Now, ya set my heart on fire."

The dog was surprised that the cat did have a couple of tricks up his sleeve. It had him devoiusly glaring. He wasn't going to let a simple monologue from Cliff steal the man's heart. It was time to get serious.

Charles dove behind the couch with great stealth. He continued to glare right at the cat as he continued his speech. Walt joined the rest of the pets downstairs. He spotted the feline making his move towards Hugh. It made him feel even more angrier than before.

Cliff's nose nuzzled against the man's hand. "It's not... just a simple lil' spark I'm feelin' inside... It's a flame."

He blushed. "A big, roarin' flame!"

Jealousy filled the dog and the bird. While Cliff was completely lost in devotion, Charles grabbed a fire poker laying next to the chimney and lifted his tail up a couple of inches. Walt took notice of the dog's devilish action as it would soon put a smile on his face.

"I can feel it now." Cliff said. The moment those words read the cat's lips, Charles set his tail down inches away from the fire in the fireplace. He silently snickered as he set the poker down.

"Burnin'... burnin'!" Cliff uttered. Before the cat could continue his monologue, he caught a whiff of something up in the air. He turned to the reader with his paws on his hips. "Hey, somethin' is burnin' around here!"

He spent a good second looking around for the source before it came to the conclusion that his tail was suddenly on fire. His eyes bulged out as he finally noticed.

"MEOWWWW!" he yelled in pain as he jumped a couple feet in the air. He wasted no time as he zipped to the kitchen. It looked like it was Charles' turn to make a move.

The dog zipped in front of Hugh now. He juggled three apples with a smile in hopes to impress the young man. Hugh thought he was dreaming now. Last time he remembered, dogs couldn't handle such a human ability.

"Am I dreaming, or have I finally seen everything?" he thought to himself. Honestly, he was a bit impressed to say the least. Geo emerged from the upstairs hallway with a stern expression. He grew a bit curious to what the commotion was about downstairs as that interrupted him listening to his favorite band. It seemed a little interesting in the mind of a small hamster. With nothing better to do for the day besides listening to music, he sat there and enjoyed the show.

Walt was not having it. "Pssh. That's nowhere near impressive." he said to himself. "Just wait until he hears my angelic voice!" He flew right to the table in front of Hugh. He cleared his throat first before he blew the man away with his elaborate singing. He was hitting those notes really good. It was like he practiced for years for this moment, and now was the time for the bird. Hugh continued to look on in confusion and amazement.

Charles stopped juggling the apples before he subtly growled towards the vocalizing bird. "Not on my watch, bird!" he angrily spat before he willingly flicked the bird out of the way. The love stricken pup stood on his hind legs and showcased some of his moves.

Not long after Cliff used a cane to drag the dog away before the feline stepped into the man't point of view with a ukulele. He strummed the instrument without a care in the world. He lasted for a brief period of time before his session was interrupted by a bark and a tackle from Charles. His force was enough to knock the small instrument out of the feline's paws.

Geo gasped.

The dog popped up and howled as if he was trying to sing better than Walt. As expected, the bird wasn't even close to being happy. Charles' singing sounded like a complete insult to him to the point he flew over his head.

Charles' 'singing' continued for a good second or two until he got hit in the head with some bird waste. The sound of the impact got the dog to put a stop to his howling. He looked up as he spotted Walt giving him a glare before he did the same to the bird. The dog walked into the kitchen to wash off with a low growl.

Walt landed on the table again as he continued his singing where he left off. He was a small but determined bird to make a good impression towards the young man. Cliff rose up from behind with a low growl before he grabbed the unsuspecting bird off the table. Immediately, out of the deep blue, he placed Walt inside his mouth as if it looked like the cat ate him, much to the Hugh's unexpected shock.

Geo screamed. He was concerned now. The hamster broke a sweat as he feared that this was turning into a fight over a young man. He had to think of something. In his mind, several years of bonding were in grave danger at this point. He had no time to waste as he poked at his cranium.

Hugh was still feeling uncomfortable from what he had to witness. Having to watch Cliff devour Walt was a little unsettling for him. It had him vigorously shaking for a couple of seconds before he realized that he wasn't actually shaking by himself. He looked down before his eyes widened at the sight of Charles hugging his leg. "Ay, get off!" he exclaimed before he attempted to shake him off.

Walt pecked the inside of Cliff's mouth in hopes to get him to spit him out, to which he did in almost an instant followed by a painful meow afterwards. The bird was drenched in the cat's saliva now. He was utterly aghast, not to mention growing much more infuriated at the cat.

"Ugh! How dare you!" Walt angrily spat before he attempted to shake off the excess of saliva.

"Ya had it comin' bird!" Cliff retaliated as he picked the bird up. He pointed at him, even extending one of his claws to show how serious he meant. "Yer lucky I didn't choose ta swallow ya whole!"

Not long after, Walt was chucked towards a fond Charles as his beak poked him right in his rump. The sudden pain had the dog howling for a second before he turned to growl at Cliff. "Why I oughta..." he uttered as he walked towards the angry feline with Walt still stuck to his butt. He jumped at him, but not before yelling out a couple more words in the process. "C'mere!"

A big ball of violence finally erupted, barks and meows galore. Hugh gasped. "Oh my goodness," he reacted as he continued to stare at the arguing pets. "There's no need for all this nonsense..."

A ring from the young man's cell phone omitted as it influenced the three animals to stop their violence. Hugh answered it not long after. "Hello?" he said. He listened to some chattering from his phone regarding the school he worked at for a few seconds before he responded back. The three pets stared on at the young man as if they had no idea what was even going on.

"You need me right now?" he asked. More chatter ensued not long after. He slightly tilted his head down before letting out a small sigh. "Alright then, I'll be on my way back in a few."

Charles, Cliff and Walt gasped. That moment made them realize that Hugh was getting ready to leave. They had no idea what to do now. They saw him write something on a piece of paper hopefully for Lincoln to see when he returns before he got up from the couch and made his way outside through the front door. He left without even saying a word. He closed the door before the dog, the cat and the bird sat a few inches in front of it.

A couple seconds of dead silence in, the three pets were angry with each other. All of their senseless fighting over a human being managed to cause a lot of disharmony between the three animals.

"Well isn't that nice?" Walt spat.

"I can't believe he left..." Cliff uttered as he tilted his head down.

"I can't believe you guys." Charles said.

Cliff angrily scoffed. "What? Yer tryin' to pin the blame on us now?"

Charles answered with a mean growl. "That's exactly what I'm sayin'!"

"How is it our fault that the man had to clock out early?!" Walt questioned.

Geo rolled up to them from behind. He had a little confession to spill in front of the animals. "That's because it's my fault..."

Charles, Cliff, and Walt gasped in shock. They turned around to see a disappointed Geo tapping his little foot. "You?!" The three spoke in harmony.

The hamster wasn't afraid to admit his actions. "That's affirmative." he said. "I was the one who set up the call to get that man out of this house."

There it was. The truth had been revealed right there. The three pets were vexed towards the hamster now. Of all the animals in the world, they couldn't believe the hamster was the complete mastermind behind the plan.

Charles growled. "Ham, how could ya do this ta me?!" he spat.

"Why would ya do that?!" Cliff added.

"What the everloving heck is your problem?" Walt questioned.

Geo was more than happy to spill his reasoning for what he had to do. "Look you guys, I'm sorry okay-"

Cliff inched toward the hamster with a mean glare in his eyes along with Walt. "Ya ain't nowhere near as sorry as ya are for runnin' that sweet adonis outta this house."

"Yer gonna pay fer that, Ham." Charles uttered before he popped his knuckles.

Geo backed away slowly. "Guys, simmer down! I was only thinking about our friendships we had over the years and I'm not gonna let that man cause a rift between us as friends." The pets stopped their angered expressions as Geo had no choice but to be blunt towards them. It was for the better for all the parties involved. "You guys should be ashamed of yourself, letting your lovesick mind take over your actions when our friendship means so much more than fighting over a human being."

Charles, Cliff and Walt took a second to think before they sadly threw their heads down. They couldn't believe that it all had to escalate to this, their affectionate behavior leading to senseless brawling and hate.

Charles whined for a bit before he spoke to the hamster. "Ham, yer right. Yer absolutely right."

"I can't believe ourselves." Cliff sadly added.

"Yeah." Walt softly stated.

A small bit of lamenting later, Charles lightened up. "I guess it's true what they say... love makes ya do crazy things."

"Admittedly, it also makes us look dumb." Cliff shamefully added.

Geo winked. "Exactly."

The pets eventually decided to share a hug. They realized that fighting isn't really worth the bonds they've shared ever since they were part of the family.

"I'm sorry you guys." Geo said.

"We're sorry too, Ham." Charles answered back.

Whistling ensued from the eleven year old boy of the house as he descended back downstairs to continue his tutoring. He was surprised when all that was present in the room was just the four pets and some scattered paper over the floor, some of them possibly heavily ripped. Lincoln glared over to Charles, Cliff, Geo and Walt now. He figured he had something to do with Hugh suddenly leaving him be without any warning whatsoever.

"What did you guys do?!" the boy questioned. "I thought I told you guys to stay out!"

Charles and Cliff pushed Geo's ball towards the pre-teen before they zipped back out the doggy door in the kitchen. Geo's eyes widened upon looking at the boy's disappointed expression. He tapped his hands together as he had no idea what to do now except give the boy an awkward little smile.

~End~

Trivia

 * There is a reference to Marx Brothers and Tom & Jerry.
 * The story's heavily based off Study Muffin, in case you haven't figured it out.