User blog:BatSam247/How "Agoraphobia" Could've Been Avoided

[As Lincoln is walking, he senses a presence behind him. But before he can check, he is grabbed by the mouth and neck and pulled back. He tries to get the grip off of him, but he's then thrown into an alleyway. He stumbles on his feet and looks up to see a tall man in a hoodie. Lincoln is backed into the wall, trying to think how he can get out.]

Lincoln: Come on, Lincoln. Now, what am I supposed to do in situations like this?

[Lincoln starts thinking, and a thought bubble appears. Rigby appears in said thought bubble.]

Rigby: Remember! Hamboning will save your LIFE someday! It'll be all like, "What? You're trying to mug me?" [starts hamboning]

[The thought bubble disappears, and now Lincoln knows exactly what to do. But, he then notices that the guy has one hand in his pocket. If Lynn taught him anything, it's that when a attacker has one hand in a pocket of some sort, he's hiding a weapon. It didn't take long for the guy to pull out a knife and reveal it to Lincoln.]

Mugger: OK, kid, you can make this easy by keeping your mouth shut and giving me your money.

Lincoln: I think not. [starts hamboning]

Mugger: What are you doing?

[Lincoln, who's still hamboning, gets closer to the mugger.]

Mugger: [nervously] Alright, now you're starting to creep me out.

[Lincoln gets even closer and eventually starts hamboning the mugger himself.]

Mugger: Uhh... You're weird. [runs off into the distance, leaving his knife behind; ends up bumping into an officer enjoying a donut near a car with a parking ticket]

Police Officer: Hey, watch it, bud- [realizes who he's talking to] Oh, you're gonna be doin' time in the stony lonesome, punk... [handcuffs the mugger]

[Cut back to Lincoln, who is now back on his way to the Loud House.]

Lincoln: [to the viewers] As you can see, hamboning can save lives, like mine. [whistles happily during his walk home]

THE END