User blog:Waterbox31/No Fooling Around

No Fooling Around
General idea: When Luan thinks she has no point in life after Lana reveals that no one thinks that her jokes are funny, Lincoln tries to cheer her up.

(We open with a shot of the Loud House upstairs. Luan is strolling down the hall, heading towards her room. Lana then exits from the bathroom holding what appears to be a coin)

Lana: "Sweet! I found a perfectly good nickel at the bottom of the toilet! I just wish it wouldn't have taken me an hour to dig it out."

Luan: (Approaches Lana) "Hey Lana! Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent! Ha ha ha ha! Get it?"

Lana: (Turns towards the audience) "That might be the worst one I've heard yet."

(Luan is still laughing and accidentally bumps into Lana, making her drop her coin down the air vent)

Lana: "Luan! You made me drop my coin down the vent!"

Luan: "Oops! Well, at least the joke was worth it. Ha ha ha ha! Get it?"

(Lana starts gradually getting more and more upset, until she finally snaps)

Lana: "UUGH! You and your stupid jokes! Haven't you realized by now that no one thinks they're funny? Cause I sure don't!"

(Lana marches over to her room and slams the door at full force. Luan tries to soak in what Lana just said to her)

(We then cut to downstairs, where Rita and Lynn Sr. are are talking to the kids, sans Luan)

Rita: "You girls ready to go to the mall?"

All the kids together: "Yes mom!"

Lynn Sr.: "You sure you don't want to come to the mall with us, son? There's a huge sale at the comic shop on Ace Saavy stuff."

Lincoln: "No dad, I think I need a break at home by myself. Living with ten siblings is very exhausting for one guy to handle."

Lola: "That's harsh."

Luna: "But true at the same time."

(The siblings all nod in unison)

Rita: "Hey, where's Luan? Maybe she wants to go with us."

Lori: "Nah, she just went to the mall yesterday with her friends from clown school. I doubt she would want to go again."

Rita: "I guess so. Come on guys, last one to Vanzilla has to sit out on the big sale at Bath & Body Works."

Lynn Sr.: "That discounted perfume will be mine!"

(Everyone runs out the door as Lincoln closes the door and starts to head up the stairs)

Lincoln: (Talking to the audience) "It's so rare to get any time to myself around here, so I've got to spend every minute like it's my last." (thinks for a second) I know! I'll watch the King of the Rings directors' cut DVD for the fourteenth time! Just gotta use the bathroom real quick."

(Lincoln starts to walk towards the bathroom, but his ears are greeted with a small sobbing noise. He notices that it's coming from Luan/Luna's room.)

Lincoln: "Luan! Are you alright in there?"

(Lincoln opens the bedroom door to find Luan curled up in a ball in the corner of her bed, sobbing softly to herself. Lincoln walks over to the bed and sits down next to his sister.)

Lincoln: "Luan, why are you crying? You're the last person I'd expect to cry."

(Luan slowly turns towards Lincoln, revealing that her eyes are red and swollen. She sits up on the bed next to him.)

Luan: (sighs) "I'm sorry you had to see me like that."

Lincoln: "You don't need to be sorry about anything. Now what the heck is going on with you? You're acting stranger than when Lori got her wisdom teeth removed last year."

Luan: "Lincoln, have you ever felt like you had no purpose in life, and everything would be better if you just didn't exist?"

Lincoln could not believe what he just heard come out of his older sisters' mouth.

Lincoln: "Luan! Of course that's not true! Wha- where did you come up with such a stupid idea?"

Luan: "I was just thinking... since I always annoy you guys with my jokes, maybe things would be better if I wasn't around to tell them."

Lincoln: "That's not true Luan, and you know it. You're one of the best big sisters a brother could ask for. You make me laugh, care for me, and always stick up for me if I'm in trouble. What more could I ask for?"

(Luan starts to grin a little. Lincoln continues talking.)

Lincoln: "Listen, maybe we don't enjoy your jokes sometimes, but that doesn't mean we don't love you. Haven't you ever heard of the saying "A fools' company is better than no company at all?"

Luan: "Not once in my life."

Lincoln: "That's because I just made it up to try and prove my point. The point is, you're a wonderful person Luan, and we would be devestated without you. Especially me."

Luan: (starts to sob again, holding her hands out for a hug) "I love you, Linc!"

(Lincoln and Luan hug and cry for a few minutes before pulling themselves together. They proceed to walk out in the hallway after.)

Lincoln: "So... what now?"

Luan: (thinks for a second) "I know! Home movie marathon?"

Lincoln: "You read my mind! Just let me go use the bathroom first. I never got to do it earlier."

Luan: "Lincoln, after you're done, could you help me do something else before we start?"

Lincoln: "Sure, what did you have in mind?"

Luan: "Hurry up! I don't want my brother to explode like a balloon."

Lincoln: "Right. I'll be right back."

(Lincoln proceeds to use the bathroom. After he gets out, they bring a couple boxes downstairs full of some family memories. They proceed to watch it for a few minutes.)

Luan: "Hey Lincoln?"

Lincoln: "Yeah?"

Luan: "Thanks for talking to me earlier. You really helped me out."

Lincoln: "Any time sis. Which movie do you want to watch now?"

Luan: "I know! How about the one where Leni saw a man dressed up as a spider at the store and wouldn't stop screaming!"

Lincoln: "Let's do it!"

(They continue to watch the TV until they eventually fall asleep. They wake up to the sound of Vanzilla pulling into the Louds' driveway.)

Lincoln: (rubbing his eyes) "Looks like they're back."

(The door swings open, revealing the entire family carrying dozens of bags.)

Lincoln: "Geez! Was the mall going out of business or something?"

Lori: "Nope. Turns out it was "National Mall Clearance Day", so we got everything for half off. Isn't that great?"

Lincoln: (Talking to the audience) "Geez, I guess they really do have a day for everything."

Lynn Sr.: (Calling for Luan) LUAN! LUAN!

Luan: "Dad, I'm right here."

Lynn Sr.: (Turns around) "Huh? Oh sorry, I didn't see you there."

(Luan turns towards the audience with an annoyed face.)

Rita: "Luan, I believe Lana would like to say something to you. Come here Lana."

(Lana gets pushed out of the crowd of sisters near the door. She looks very embarrassed as she faces Luan.)

Rita: "She told us everything that happened. Ironically, we were passing through the joke shop when she finally couldn't take it anymore and spilled the beans. "

Lana: "Luan, I'm sorry about what I said. It's just... I was so frustrated and angry and... and..."

(Luan places her hand on Lana's shoulder.)

Luan: "Lana, it's alright. Sometimes when we're upset, we say things in the heat of the moment we regret. And trust me, I know what that's like."

(Luan looks towards Lincoln and he shakes his head towards her. She smiles and turns back towards Lana)

Luan: "In fact, I got something for you..."

(Luan reaches in her pocket and pulls out Lana's nickel she lost earlier.)

Lana: "My coin! But how did you..."

Luan: "Me and Lincoln went crawling through the air vents to try and find it. We finally found it stuck to an old piece of gum."

Lana: "Cool! Extra authenticity! Thanks Luan! You're the best!"

Luan: "You're welcome. Now, who wants to watch some classic family memories?"

Everyone together: "Yeah!"

Lynn Jr.: "Last one to the couch has to sit out on Lincoln's eighth birthday video!"

(Cuts to the outside of the Loud House)

Lincoln: "Maybe I'll sit this one out."

(ending theme plays and the episode ends)

Trivia

 * This is the first fanfiction I've ever written.
 * I originally had second thoughts about this fanfiction, but since I was halfway done with it anyway, I decided to just finish it.
 * This fanfiction took me two days to write.
 * Leni, Lucy, and Lisa do not have any seperate lines in this fanfiction.