User blog:Weavillain/FANFICTION: A Grapple a Day

Lincoln Loud, also known as "Loco Lincoln", was in a pickle. One minute, he was minding his own business in his bedroom, spending this Thursday afternoon hunching over his desk while drawing up concept art for some new side characters that he wanted to add to the Ace Savvy comic series that won him the opportunity of meeting Bill Buck. The next, Lynn had barged in (without bothering to do the polite thing like knock), holding luchador masks in both hands, and casting Lincoln an assertive look that read "You're going to drop everything you're doing and wrestle with me right now".

Lincoln didn't like to think of himself as a pushover but one thing that he could never do often was turn down a request from one of his sisters, especially Lynn. He knew she never meant him real harm but he feared what her strength could do to him if she was provoked. Lori's go-to threat to keep her siblings to heel was turning them into a pretzel. From his past experiences with roughhousing with her, Lynn could actually do that and so much more if she chose.

Taking one last look at his sketchbook, Lincoln sighed, grabbed the green and yellow mask and slipped it on. He winced at the tight, elastic coating that ensnared his skull and obscured his vision underneath the restricting eyeholes.

The last thing he saw, before Lynn lunged at him out of nowhere, was a brief flash of her menacing, crazed grin.

The rematch between "Loco Lincoln" and "Lunatic Lynn" was about to begin.

It wasn't much of a contest. It never was. "Lunatic Lynn" had, once again, come out victorious.

Their impromptu bout lasted a duration of two minutes and eighteen seconds, a record that "Loco Lincoln" would've been proud of he didn't spend most of their match getting thrown around like ragdoll in a spin cycle at the highest speed.

To the surprise of "Lunatic Lynn", "Loco Lincoln" had managed to get some offense in, the highlights being a rolling senton on the bed and a frog splash from his bedpost on top his temporarily dazed opponent on the floor.

But other than that? She was in complete control, having her way with the contender for her "Campeón del Mundo" title. After more than two minutes of pain, the match was put to bed as "Lunatic Lynn" snapped in a one-legged Boston crab on her long-time adversary, wrenching backwards as she sat atop of his lower back and applying constricting pressure on his ensnared leg while simultaneously crushing his lower lumbar region with her bodyweight. "Loco Lincoln" did his best to wiggle out of the submission hold but the more he struggled, the more he wound up exacerbating the flaring, twisting sensation that had already crumpled his spine.

Knowing that he was out of luck, he furiously pounded the floor with the palm of one hand, indicating his surrender. "Lunatic Lynn" leapt off him immediately but couldn't resist lightly stepping on his upper back with a foot while she posed with two victorious peace signs in the air.

"And she's done it again, ladies and gentlemen!" she declared. ""Lunatic Lynn" is still numero uno and still your reigning "Campeón del Mundo!"

Gingerly rolling himself from underneath his captivity, "Loco Lincoln" unsheathed his head from his mask, something that was taboo in lucha libre wrestling but if he didn't want Lynn snapping at him for "breaking kayfabe", he knew that he'd have no choice, especially now that he was done assuming his wrestling persona anyway.

Besides, the way she had one was way too unruly to not be called out on.

"I thought "Lunatic Lynn" didn't use leg submissions," Lincoln stated matter-of-factly. "It's supposed to be against her code of honor."

The masked victor before him smugly grinned as she removed her own mask and took back Lincoln's.

"What can I say? She's a rudo now," Lynn replied with a shrug.

Her response prompted Lincoln to quirk an eyebrow.

"A what?"

"It means villain or bad guy in the lucha libre circle," Lynn clarified.

While he processed the information, as well as bend his back a little to ease the pain that settled there from his tussle, Lynn slung a shoulder around him and pressed her cheek against his.

"So, how's it feel getting your butt handed to you? Again?" she taunted.

Lincoln felt irritation stewing inside him from the retort. What had he done to deserve that? He chalked it up to Lynn's competitive ego as it basked in the glow of victory but still, even he felt that was out of line for her.

He frowned. "Not half as annoying as you barging in on me unannounced. Again."

Unfazed, Lynn barked out a condescending chuckle.

"Pssh. You're just a sore loser," she retorted as she delivered a soft slap to her brother's back, making him yelp. "Literally."

Lincoln broke away to rub his aching muscles while his sister guffawed. Through the pain and his annoyance, the gears in his brain spun. He smirked devilishly when a scheme hatched.

Oh, he'd show Lynn what for and not only would she be in a world of surprise but he'd be in a world of elation as he got to relish in Lynn being put in her place.

"Feeling tired, Lynn?" Lincoln asked.

"Of winning?" Lynn cheekily retorted as she blew on her fingernails. "Nah, not really. Why do you ask?"

Lincoln stepped forward until he was staring down Lynn from up close. He noted the intrigue in her eyes at his bold but short venture.

"Because if "Lunatic Lynn's" got the moxie to get back in the ring, I've got an opponent that I know she can't beat."

The intrigue crumbled as flash of provocation shone in her squinted, piercing gaze.

"Is that so?" she said lowly.

"Yeah. It is so. What'd you say, Lynn? Is "El Campeón del Mundo" ready for another match?"

Like Lincoln predicted, it didn't take a second for Lynn to robustly affirm, "Yeah. She's ready. Just don't be surprised when she wins again."

Lincoln ignored the spunk behind Lynn's retort in favor of walking past her to leave his bedroom and fetch the new challenger. If he was right on the money, it'd be over before he had the chance to blink.

A few minutes later, Lincoln returned, leading "Lunatic Lynn's" opponent by the hand. His entry caused Lynn, who was sitting on the edge of Lincoln's bed, to look up and nearly fall back on the mattress in surprise.

""Lunatic Lynn", meet "El Gator Grande"," Lincoln proudly said as she raised Lana's hand up.

All Lana could do was wave shyly, almost as if she were actually in front of a large crowd that came just to see her.

Recovering from the shock, Lynn looked at Lincoln, staring at him in puzzlement.

"Seriously?" Lynn asked.

"Seriously," Lincoln nodded.

Lynn gave Lana a once over and thought that perhaps, she had accidentally delivered a blow to the head that had given Lincoln a concussion and impaired him from thinking straight. Lana barely came up to her stomach and that was with her hat on. Even though she knew better than to judge an opponent from size alone, it was all Lynn could think about since Lana didn't know the first thing about lucha libre. What chance could she possibly have?

"Lana, I really don't think this is a good idea," Lynn said concernedly. "Maybe you should just-"

"No way!" Lana said excitedly. "Lincoln said that he's taking me out for ice cream if I beat you! You're goin' down!"

Immediately, the flare of competition revived. If Lana wanted to be taken to school, she wouldn't mind delivering a crash course in humility.

"Fine," Lynn said as she tossed Lana Lincoln's mask. "If that's the way you want it, then that's the way you're going to get it."

Lincoln crossed his arms and smirked as Lana donned the mask but not at the expense of her hat as she made sure to put that on, too.

'You're gonna get it now, Lynn,' "Lincoln thought haughtily. 'Just you wait.'

As soon as Lynn put her own mask on, the stage was set for Round 2. "El Gator Grande" just stood unassumingly in place while "Lunatic Lynn" charged at her, aiming to end this quickly with a side headlock takedown in a pin. She was halfway across the room, ready to put an end to it all…

Before "El Gator Grande" sprang into action and leapt at her legs. "Lunatic Lynn" was taken off her stride as her opponent tripped her up, sending her crashing to the floor as she wailed and flailed her arms helplessly on the way down. Discombobulated, "Lunatic Lynn" woozily tried to shake "El Gator Grande" off of her but she was having none of it. Within the span of four seconds, "Lunatic Lynn" was flipped over onto her belly while her arms and legs were bent behind her towards the point of her back. Before she could muster up a grunted breath, "Lunatic Lynn" felt her limbs being bound together with the familiar restraint of a strong, twisted sisal rope. She rolled her ankles and wrists around as much as she could but it was too late and the sinking realization of her situation finally settled in; she was tied up.

Quickly, "El Gator Grande" mounted her prey on her back while Lincoln quickly got down on the floor and slapped the floor three times in succession with a three count.

"1…2…3!"

Lincoln picked up "El Gator Grande" and settled her on top of his shoulders.

"Your winner and the new "Campeón del Mundo", El Gator Grande!" Lincoln cheered as the new champion whooped and hollered from atop her "throne".

Their jubilation was cut short by the sound of a clearly disgruntled former champion. They looked down at "Lunatic Lynn", who looked rather displeased at what had just transpired.

"Really?!" she objected. "Stoop that low! Rope?! Are you serious?! Really? ROPE?! That's something a leprechaun would do!"

Lincoln knelt on the floor, smirking all the while.

"What can I say?" he said. "She's a rudo."

Left speechless, "Lunatic Lynn" could only watch as the duo left the bedroom while they talked to each other about their imminent plans.

"Hey, Linc?!"

"Yeah, champ?"

"I want a "Cockroach Crunch" cone!"

"Lana, the ice cream parlor doesn't serve "Cockroach Crunch"."

"Don't worry, it's really easy to make. First, you get a vanilla ice cream cone. Then, you find some cockroaches in their bathrooms. It's pretty easy since they never really clean them. Then, you mush 'em up in your hands. And then, that's when you…"

Mercifully, "Lunatic Lynn" didn't have to be subjected to the rest of the explanation as they disappeared out of sight down the stairs. However, it didn't make the taste of defeat, along with the realization that she had been played, any easier.

How couldn't she have seen this coming? Of course, "El Grande Gator" would win! Her alter ego, Lana, had a knack for wrestling with alligators, for goodness sake! Not even she had the daring streak to be so bold!

But soon, the humility subsided enough for determination to sprout. She had learned quite a lesson today but that didn't mean she was down for the count permanently. All this meant was that she had a new rival to look out for and as she laid helplessly on the floor, she just knew, some way or another, that she'd get her title back and prove to the world that she was the best and that only she deserved to be "El Campeón del Mundo!"

'Just you wait, "El Gator Grande"! I'll get you next time!'

Her binding, that still held her captive, were brought to mind as soon as she tried to get off the ground.

'Okay, as soon as someone unties me loose, then I'll get you.'

She just hoped that would happen sooner rather than later.