User blog:Thomperfan/Shop Girl (my version)

Well, guys, this is one of the two my versions I've been dying to get finished. I hope you enjoy it.

(It starts on in early morning at the Loud House. The siblings, except Leni, and I are in our pajamas, eating cereal and watching TV.)

Leni: [Offscreen] "Hey guys, anyone seen my bus pass?"

Lori: "Did you check your purse?"

Leni: "Thanks, I got it, did someone take the credit card?"

Lola: "Check your purse."

Leni: "Oh, right, wait my shopping list."

Lisa: “The purse, woman!”

Leni: [walking in] "Cloths, jeans, pom-pom sweater."

Lincoln: "Going shopping, Leni?"

Leni: "Not just shopping, Reiningers is having a huge, two day, twenty-five percent off, blowout sale, and I made up a dream shopping list for it.

Me: Oh, do you want me to come with you? I can carry your bags with my super strength! (I grab my spoon and try to bend it, but I strain, a lot.) Just a second. (I try again, but I still strain)

Leni: Oh, that’s really sweet of you, Noey. But don’t worry, I’ll be just fine. Yay, new wardrobe!" [Leaves, as the 11 of us bid her ado] "Shoot, where did I put my purse?"

Leni's siblings and I: "Check your arms."

[We return to our breakfast, and a few hours later, we’re in our regular clothes eating lunch]

Leni: [Offscreen] "I'm back."

[The siblings look, and see that their sister has been beaten up as she is shown with her messed up dress, a cracked lense on her sunglasses, and is missing her sandal]

Me: (gasps) Oh my god! Leni, what happened to you?!

Lana: Yeah, did you wrestle a bear?

Lynn: Where's your stuff?

Leni: I didn't get any of it.

Lori: What?! Why?

Leni: Well, you know how shoppers can be. Sometimes, they can be a little grabby and pushy. And clawy and shovey.

Lola: Uh, wait, did you let a bunch of greedy bargain hunters take your stuff?!

Me: (to Leni) They did that to you?! (growls) If I ever sees those, those, greedy bargain hunters, I’ll, I’ll… (I holp up a bottle of ketchup) Rip them open! (I try to open the ketchup bottle, but just like the spoon, I strain to do so.) What is this lid made of?! (I keep straining)

Leni: "No, it’s okay, Noey. I don't mind. I'll just make new clothes with my old ones. Yay!" [goes upstairs, leaving me speechless]

Me: (amazed) Man, how does Leni do that?

Lincoln: Do what?

Me: How does Leni just let people do bad stuff to her, but doesn’t seem to be phased or even bothered by it?

Lori: [Takes out the remote] "Leni’s been like that for 16 years. This always happens. She's too nice for her own good."

[Lola takes the remote from Lori and starts channel surfing]

Lisa: "It's true, her submissive nature makes her easy prey." [Lucy takes the remote from Lola] "Much like the baby wildebeest of the serengeti."

Lana: "She needs to learn how to be a little tougher."

Lola: "A little meaner." [Gets into a fist fight with Lucy over the remote]

Lynn: [Joining the fight] "More aggressive."

Lola: [To Lucy] "I WANT THE REMOTE!"

[The other sisters, except Lily, join the fight]

Lori: "Give me that remote back!"

Lincoln: [Who also wasn't in the fight, but manages to grab the remote anyway and use it] "More like us." [Leni is shown sewing something in her room while her siblings and I come in] Leni, how would you like to go back to that sale tomorrow, and get everything you wanted?

Leni: That's okay. I'm fine. [Shows what she's sewing] Look! I turned this nightgown into jeans! [realizes] Oh, wait. Now I don't have a nightgown. [Gets some other jeans] Ooooh, I can make one out of these other jeans!

[The siblings and I shake our heads]

Luan: Leni, [sits Leni down] You need to learn to stand up for yourself.

Lana: Yeah, you don't wanna be wilted-beets in the spaghetti!

Lisa: Meh, close enough.

Lori: But don't worry, we're to teach you how to become a more assertive, decisive person!

Leni: Well, okay. If you guys want. I'm just happy when you're happy.

Me: (flattered) Awwwwwwwww!

Lincoln: [facepalms; sighs] We have a lot of work to do.

[Later, outside the bathroom]

Lincoln: "Tomorrow, you're going back to that mall as a new Leni. And the new Leni, doesn't let people cut ahead of her in line." [Leni nods, and Lincoln calls out to everyone] "Ten, hut!"

[The other sisters and I are lined up along the wall, Luan approaches Leni]

Luan: Now, you're number one in the bathroom line. Don't let anyone make you number two. [Laughs] Get it?

Leni: I don't, but don't worry! No one's gonna cut!

Lynn: [acting; groans] I'm feeling the surprise part of Dad's taco surprise! Oh, you gotta let me cut, Leni!

Leni: Oh, you poor thing! Go right ahead!

[The other siblings and I groan]

Lola: Alright. Step aside and watch a pro do it. Lori, your assistance.

Lori: [acting] Ahem, I'm in a hurry, Lola! Let me cut!

[Lola growls; Lori tries to cut, but Lola starts attacking her]

Lori: Ow! How are you so freakishly strong?!

Lola: [pinning Lori down] I HOPE YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF FLOOR!!!!

Leni: [taking notes] Tackle, Pin, Catchphrase. Got it!

[Out in the backyard, the 12 of us, minus Leni and Luna, pile some clothes on a table]

Luna: "Second lesson, the new Leni isn't afraid to go after what she wants," [pointing to the table] "there's some rockin' threads on that clearance table, but you got major peeps blockin' your way. What are you gonna do, dude?

Leni: [With determination] "I'm gonna get those threads!" [Marches up to the table with a serious look on her face, and politely taps Lynn on the shoulder] "So sorry, would you mind moving?" [Tries to find an opening] "No? I can wait until your ready."

[Walks away, as her siblings and I at the table sigh]

Luna: [Pushes Leni back; to Lynn] "Yo, LJ, show her how it's done!"

Lynn: "With pleasure." [Runs off, and returns wearing her football helmet] "Hut, hut," [paints black lines on her face] "take a hike!"

[She rampages her siblings and I like football, spins a sweater over her head to celebrate, and starts doing a victory dance on it, much to Lori's chargin]

Lori: "Hey! Bobby gave me that sweater!" [Shoots Lynn a dirty look]

Leni: [Taking notes] "Run, block, do a dance."

[Afterwards, We’re in the kitchen]

Lucy: "Third lesson, protecting your property." [Hands Leni a phone charger, which Leni takes] "The new Leni doesn't let greedy shoppers steal her stuff."

Lana: "That phone charger is the only working one in the house, your goal is to hold onto it, no matter what."

Leni: [Still missing the point of these training sessions, gets up] "Oh, it's okay," [gives Lana the charger] "I can use the landline."

Leni's siblings: [Annoyed] "Leni, no!" [put her back in the chair]

Lana: "Put yourself first!"

Lori: [Takes the charger, sighs, and goes to the other side of the kitchen] "I'll show you how it's done. I've been protecting my junk from you guys for seventeen years," [wraps the charger around her under arm] "the key is to use a good, firm, armpit grip." [To her other siblings] "Alright, come at me."

[They attack her while Leni remains seated, and I stand there looking shocked]

Leni: [Taking notes] "Armpit tuck, fall on floor, protect vital organs." [Leaves without saying anything else]

Lori: [Not realizing that Leni has already left] "Got it yet Leni?! Ow! Leni!?

Me: Wow. I didn’t realize how serious this is getting. (to the other siblings) OK, I’ll see you guys tomorrow, I need to do some thinking. (I leave without saying anything else as well.)

Lori: (not realizing I’VE left) Nolan?! Help me! Somebody! ANYBODY!

(Cuts to me walking back home, with a concerned look on my face.)

Me: (thinking) I know Leni needs to not let people abuse her, but what if someone still ends up killing her? Or what if she ends up killing someone?! (groans) This is so confusing!

(Just then I get a visit from my conscience. The bad conscience appears first.)

Devil Nolan: Aw, quit worrying about it, buddy! Leni needs this. Now she’s gonna get exactly what she wants, when she wants it, and no one will ever cross her!

Me: Oh, you’re right.

(Just then my good conscience appears)

Angel Nolan: OK, that is a good point, but haven’t you seen television?! Every time there’s an episode where someone tries to teach a character how to be assertive, the character will go crazy mad with power and abuse it!

Devil Nolan: Oh really? Name three.

Angel Nolan: Putting your hoof down, Walking Small and The Words.

Devil Nolan: Oh right, those.

Angel Nolan: And if that happens, just think of how Leni would be in the future!

(We all have a fantasy about Leni being really mean, abusive and pushy. Cuts back to reality where the three of us look horrified.)

Devil Nolan: (cringes) You are so right, dude. (To me) Sorry, kid. We’ve got nothing.

Me: (groans) Then I’ll just have to go to the experts.

(The two little mes disappear as I head into my apartment. Inside, Mom and Dad are working on their computers, in their office, when I come in.)

Me: Mom, Dad, I need your advice.

Mom: Sure thing, honey. What's the problem?

Me: Well... You guys know Leni, right?

Mom: Y-you mean one of the Loud children?

(I nod)

Mom: Um, I don’t know. I’m always getting their names mixed up... Is she the one that's always on her phone?

Me: No, that’s Lori.

Dad: Uh, I think she's the baby. That's right. Right?

Me: Uh, no that’s Lily.

Mom: She’s probably the black one. Right?

Me: No, that’s Lucy.

Dad: Or maybe he’s not even a she! He must be the boy, right?

Me: (Groans) No! That’s Lincoln! Leni’s the one that’s my girlfriend, remember?

Mom and Dad: Oh, her!

Dad: Yeah. We know her. Why do you ask?

Me: Well, there are these people that are being really mean to and taking her stuff, but she doesn't seem to mind it, in fact, she's happy about it.

Mom: Oh no. I hate those kinds of people. Taking advantage of people's kindness.

Dad: And did you say she was happy about it?

Me: I know, I couldn’t figure it out either! Anyway, her siblings and I decided to teach her how to be more assertive and she seemed to get the gist of it, but now, I'm kind of concerned.

Mom and Dad: How so?

Me: Well, on one hand I do want Leni get the stuff she really desires, but on the other hand, what she goes to far, abuses her power, and starts acting like a big jerk?! I mean, Leni kindness is one of the best parts of her personality, and, well... I don't wanna take that away from her.

Mom: Well, it’s all a matter of balancing it out. You can be kind, but not to the point where people pick on you for it.

Dad: You can stand up for yourself, but don’t do to the point where it comes off as mean. Kindness and aggressiveness is a bit hard to balance.

Mom: You can’t forget the other when your using one. Does that make sense?

Me: Well, yeah. But what would happen if Leni does forget?

Mom: Then you have to remind Leni of what makes her special. Just talk to her about it and tell her how you personally feel.

Me: Okay, I think I can do that. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. You’re the best.

Dad: No problem, son.

[We hug it out and I head upstairs to get ready for bed. The next day, Leni, her siblings and I are waiting in the line at Reiningers]

Leni: "Thank you guys for all of your help. I'm so excited about the new Leni! Just one question: Where did the old Leni go?

Me: (sighs; placing my hand on Leni’s shoulder.) She’s in a better place.

Leni: (gasps) She died?!

Me: Wha-, no, what I meant was-

[Just then, some guy shoves in front of Leni like she's not even there, her siblings and I are not happy]

Luna: "Hey dude! Bogus!"

Leni: [Clenching her fists, and making a face] "I got this creep." [Attacks him the same way Lola did to Lori the day before, pins him to the ground] "I hope you like the taste of flan!" [Turns to her astonished siblings and boyfriend] "Was it 'flan' or 'floor'? I heard flan.

Lola: Doesn't matter. You're a queen!

[The guy runs away. Meanwhile, one of the store employees nervously opens the doors, and everyone starts rushing in. Leni makes a determined face, and rushes in as well. She makes her way to a swimsuit section, but sees a bunch of other woman taking the swimsuits.]

Leni: "Hut, Hut, Take a hike!"

[Leni shoves the women out of her way to reach the swimsuits. She gets one and starts doing a dance, with Lincoln, Lynn and I joining in.]

Lynn: "WOO! All day long, baby!"

[Next, Leni grabs a sweater of the rack, and some lady tries to steal it from her, but Leni grabs it]

Leni: [Struggling] "Hey! It's mine! Don't even think about it!" [Hip checks the lady into a pile of clothes]

[Cuts to a montage of Leni grabbing clothes before others could get to them and puts them in her bag. The siblings and I watch Leni dragging two girls for a sweater, who also has a grip on it, but Leni takes it from them. The girls start attacking Leni, but she ends up winning and is twirling the sweater around.]

Leni's Siblings and I: "Yaaaay!"

[Leni is now at the check-out line. Her siblings walk over.]

Luna: "You rocked!"

Luan: "Yay, Leni!"

Lana: "You crushed it!"

Leni: "A new wardrobe! I can't believe it."

Me: (in my head) Man, I can’t believe I was so worried about this. Leni is gonna be fine.

Lynn: "Ah, we gotta celebrate. Pretzels and sodas. On Lincoln."

Lincoln: "Wait, why me?"

Leni: "Thanks, Lincoln. Meet you guys at the food court."

[The rest of us leave while a guy cuts in front of her.]

Obnoxious Guy: "I wouldn't do that." [points to Leni]

[Leni snarls at the guy, who runs off in fright. Leni smiles at this. Cuts to the siblings and I at the food court]

Luan: "Wow. Leni really malled the competition."

Lucy: "People are going to think twice before crossing her."

Lola: "We changed her life." [raises her soda] "To us!"

Siblings: "To us!" [clink their sodas together]

Me: (Smiling) To us! (clink my soda with theirs)

[Cuts back to Leni]

Leni: [going through her clothes] "Hmm." [pulls out a top] "This top is perfect for a cozy Saturday." [pulls out the sweater] "And this sweater will look so good with my new nightgown jeans." [puts it back]

Mrs. Parker: "Are you sure you don't have any more of those polka-dot swimsuits?" [The clerk shakes her head] "That's all my granddaughter wants. Well, that and for me to live forever but I can't promise that."

Leni: [Seeing that she had one, calls to Mrs. Parker] "Here!" [Mrs. Parker walks up to her, and Leni takes her suit out]"You should take mine."

Mrs. Parker: "Oh!" [Takes it] "You angel. Amy will be so happy."

[Mrs. Parker walks off, and another woman walks past but notices Leni's sweater]

Woman: [Admirers the sweater] "That sweater is so cute, where'd you get it?"

Leni: "I think this was the last one."

Woman: [Disappointed] "Oh, it's hard finding sweaters that won't give me what my doctor calls 'Category Five Rashes'." [Laughs] "That's me, allergic to almost every fabric." [Starts off] "Well, enjoy it."

Leni: "Wait! I can't imagine how awful that would be, " [offers her the sweater] "here, take mine."

Woman: [Happy] "Aw, that is so sweet." [Takes the sweater] "Thank you."

[Just then a guy runs past and drops his credit card. Leni picks it up.]

Leni: [to the guy] Excuse me, is your name "American Bank"?

Guy: [comes back] Oh my stars, I am so stressed about finding a tie for my anniversary, that I must've dropped it! [Leni gives it back to him] 25 years, it's a big one.

Leni: You know, I'd be glad to help you.

Guy: But you'd lose your place in line.

Leni: [grabs her bag and gets out of the line.] That's okay. This is more important.

[She and the guy leave to find a tie. Meanwhile back at the food court...]

Lincoln: [drinking his soda] Yep. Today could be the start of a whole new life for Leni.

[We start fantasizing about Leni's future. Starting with her being the CEO of a major fashion corporation, and giving a presentation]

Leni: "The ABCs of being a CEO."

[Next, fantasy Leni is signing a books titled "Taste the Flan" written by herself. Then we fantasize Leni being on a talk show]

Interviewer: "Ms. Loud, you're the head of a fashion company, the best-selling author of 'Taste the Flan', and a role model for young women. To what do you attribute your success?"

Leni: "Well, I really owe it all to my siblings and my husband, see, there was this two-day blowout sale..."

[The siblings continue fantasizing, completely unaware of what Leni's doing back at Reiningers. Just then my consciences appear, fantasizing with me.]

Angel Nolan: You know, this future really isn’t that bad.

Devil Nolan: I know, right? And to think that you thought it was a bad thing.

Angel Nolan: Yeah, I know a- Hey, wait a minute! You thought it was a bad thing too!

Devil Nolan: Wha- No, I didn’t!

Angel Nolan: Yes you did!

Devil Nolan: Nuh-Uh!

Angel Nolan: Uh-Huh!

Devil Nolan: Nuh-Uh!

Angel Nolan: Uh-Huh

(My conscience start arguing with each other. Meanwhile…)

Leni: [Giving a dress to a teen girl] "Problem solved, now you'll have something to wear to the dance." [They hug. Next, she gives a woman a blouse] "You came all the way from Cheboygan for a flutter sleeve blouse? You should have it." [Giving some guy her culottes] "Please, there'll be other culottes." [Giving a lady some pants] "Send me a picture, I wanna see how those gaucho pants look in you."

[Leni finally gets to the front of the line, and puts the only thing she has left on the counter]

Cashier: "This is a great find. I wish I had time to browse the racks."

Leni: "Oh, well, why don't you take it?"

Cashier: "Oh, oh, I couldn't do that, this is all you have and you've been waiting in line for so long."

Leni: "It's okay, I wouldn't even be shopping here, if it weren't for people like you working so hard."

[Leaves, while the cashier smiles, and gives the obnoxious guy who cut in front of her earlier a salute, he yelps and takes cover. Meanwhile, back at the food court...]

Lola: No, the castle Leni's gonna live in, will have three swimming pools!

Lincoln: Oh, and a chocolate fountain!

Lana: A zoo!

Lola: [noticing Leni] There she is!

Leni: [as her siblings and I cheer] Hey, you guys!

Lincoln: [noticing something] Uh, Leni, where are your bags?

Leni: Oh, I didn't buy anything. I gave all my clothes away.

Lynn: What?! After all our training?!

Lincoln: What happened to the new Leni?!

Leni: She wasn't really me. I'm sorry, you guys. It did feel good to get what I wanted, but it felt even better to give other people what they wanted.

Luan: Leni, we're worried about you. How are you going to make it in life if you keep putting yourself last?

Lori: [holds up her phone; Bobby is on the other line] Boo-Boo Bear and I cannot support you forever.

Me: But I can! Leni, you can always live wherever I live, it’s no tro-

Lori: (annoyed; through gritted teeth) Not… helping… Nolan.

(I look down)

Mrs. Parker: [Walks up to Leni] Oh, there you are, dear! [holds up a present] I got you a little something to say thanks.

Leni: [takes the present] Awwww, you shouldn't have! I hope your granddaughter loves the suit.

Mrs. Parker: I know she will. [walks away] I wish more young people were as sweet as you are.

Lola: Presents are nice, but you know what's nicer? All those clothes you gave away!

[Just then, a waiter comes in with a cart of fries]

Waiter: "Excuse me, Miss, we have the number three combo, with fries, for everyone in your party, courtesy of that woman over there."

[The woman from before waves to Leni, and gestures to the sweater Leni gave her]

Leni: [Applauding, while Lola takes the fries] "Yay! You look great! No rashes."

[Just then, the tie guy and his wife walk up to Leni]

Tie Guy’s Wife: "Excuse me, Miss." [Her husband loves the tie] "Thank you so much for helping my hubby, he has never looked so cute."

Tie Guy: [Pulls out a gift card] "We got you a gift card to the fro-yo shop."

Leni: "That's so sweet of you, that's my favorite place." [The lovely couple starts off] "Happy anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Bank"

[The couple has no clue what that means]

Lori: Leni, it's great that all these people are doing nice things for you, but I still think it's more important that you-

Ms. Carmichael: [walks up to Leni and shakes her hand] Excuse me, I wanted to meet you. I'm Ms. Carmichael, I'm the manager of Reiningers, and I've been hearing such wonderful things about you. You know, we could use a sales employee with great customer service skills.

Leni: "Great, let me think about it, and get back to you with some names." [Her siblings clear their throats and gesture to her, and Leni realizes] "Oh, you mean me."

Ms. Carmichael: "Hours are flexible, and employees get a fifty percent discount on all merchandise."

Leni: [Touched] "It's like there's a blowout sale happening in my heart."

Ms. Carmichael: "I'll take that as a yes." [Leni's siblings smile] "Stop by whenever to fill out paperwork."

Leni: [As she and Ms. Carmichael leave] "I'll see you back at home guys."

Me: (with tears in my eyes) I have never been so proud in my life.

Lincoln: "Wow, we were so wrong about Leni."

Lynn: [Eating her fries] "Yeah, guess we don't have to worry about her after all."

Lola: [Looking at her fries] "Hmm, if being nice does that much for Leni, I wonder what it could do for me. [She gets up from her seat holding her fries and walks up to the obnoxious guy] Hey, mister? How would you like my fries?"

Obnoxious Guy: "Oh, no thank you. I’m trying to watch my cholesterol."

Lola: "Go ahead. Take them."

Obnoxious Guy: "No, really. I'm good."

Lola: [Threateningly] "TAKE THE FRIES!"

Obnoxious Guy: [Screams] What is up with this mall?!" [As he runs off in fear, Lola glares at him]

Lincoln: "Maybe stick to what you know, Lola."

Me: Yeah, that’s probably best for everyone.

EPILOGUE

(I’m waiting for Leni to come out of the bathroom, after a few more seconds, she does.)

Me: Ah, there she is! The new Reiningers employee! (I give her hug) Oh, I’m so proud of you! We all are!

Leni: (returning my hug) Oh, thank you, Noey.

(Then the 2 of us get into Leni’s bed together)

Me: Leni, look, your siblings and I owe you a huge apology for trying to change you.

Leni: Oh, it’s okay, Noey. I know you guys were just trying to help me, and it was pretty fun.

Me: And you know, I was really scared, that you were gonna start acting like a big jerk, but I saw how much fun you had being nice to people, it really suits you.

Leni: Awwww, Noey, that’s so sweet! And don’t worry, I’ll always be nice Leni, no matter what happens.

Me: I love you, Leni.

Leni: I love you more.

(We kiss and start making out, and later we fall asleep in each other’s arms.)

20 YEARS LATER

(Leni is 36 years old, and the owner of her own little fashion shop in Royal Woods. Cuts to inside the shop, where a lady and her daughter come in. Leni is at the front desk.)

Leni: OMGosh! Brenda, Barbara, welcome!

Barbara: Oh, Leni, it’s been too long.

Leni: It’s only been a week.

Barbara: Exactly, too long.

Brenda: Hi, Leni! Hi, Leni!

Leni: Hi, Brenda! Do you wanna go see if there’s anything you want?

Brenda: Uh-Huh! Uh-Huh! (She runs off to the kiddie section. The two grown-ups laugh.)

Barbara: Leni, I can’t believe you made it this far. Who do you owe your success to?

Leni: Well, I owe it all to my parents, my siblings, my husband, my 3 wonderful kids, and of course, people like you. (points to Barbara) Without the support of my loved ones, I don’t know what I’d do.

Barbara: (teary-eyed) Aw, stop! You’re making me tear up!

(The two hug. Just then Brenda rushes up.)

Brenda: Hey, Leni! Hey, Leni! Can you help me pick something?

Leni: Of course, sweetie. Come on, let’s go.

(Leni stakes Brenda with her back to the kiddie section and Barbara follows him)

THE END