User blog:American Titan/AT's Famous Fanficks BONUS ROUND: "Aw, Snap!"

Author's Note: Today, me and my cowriter, Muppetspot, bring you another impromptu idea for a fanfiction that we wrote entirely within about 1 1/2 hours. Based solely on a stupid little joke, this one quickly turned into an expanded plot when I figured out that this story could extend beyond simply two victims. Rocky and Maggie were initially the only two people on the chopping block here, but I was looking over my old atories and thought to myself, "Huh, maybe I could kill off some of the characters I've created over the years!" As such, there are some characters you might not recognize here. Several of them come from roles in my older fanfictions on my Loud House wiki blog, such as Luigi, Nathan's family, Meat Bowl, Greedy, and Prisoner Biggy Dee. Several of them are characters used in the actual show, and I had plans to include them in older fanfictions that I talked about on my update posts, but I never got around to writing those stories (back when I wrote fanfictions on my own) because "The Black Rose" defeated my inner strength to write. These characters are my "wiseguy" Polly Pain and my "disco-savvy, funky groovin" Flat Tire. Some characters seen here were created for this story alone, such as Luigi's assistant in the restaurant, Joey. So confusing, I know! You may enjoy this story more if you have read my past fanfictions, because then you can familiarize yourself with most of the characters. Is this story worth reading if you're going in blind from my past work? Eeeeehhhh, you can see that for yourself. But for all readers, I hope you have a good time reading in to who lives, and who dies. Mua haha haaaaaaaaaa! -American Titan

-

“What a lucky find that Lily just got at that garage sale!” Lincoln exclaimed to his older sisters.

“I do have to admit, when we were hanging out with Aunt Ruth and Lily earlier today going yard sale hopping, no stylish dress could compare to that special glove that Lily dug up in the $1 bin.” Lori admitted, a tad jealous of what her cousin had gotten. After all, SHE should be the one to get all the good stuff! It’s like her natural born right!

“Oh, stop rubbing it in.” Lori gave me a dirty look.

“It was sooo glittery and loaded with shiny diamondiesssss!!” Leni chimed in.

“Man, even as a baby, Lil Lil must know what she’s doing as she shops. That thing must be worth a fortune!” Luna was impressed.

“Uyy! Yes, my little baby baboobschka is growing up to be a wise bargainer, she is!” Aunt Ruth said, as she sat on the living room couch, rubbing Lily’s head.

Lily was happily cooing on the couch, reaching out to her older cousins to grasp their fingers. She was also wearing the item that she picked out at the yard sale on her right hand. It was a Infinity Glove. (Don’t ask me how it got into the Loud House universe!)

No one realizes that Lily had garnered such immense power, the greatest power in the universe even, simply by wearing it. She could destroy the half the population of their universe, simply by snapping her fingers together.

Lily reached towards Lincoln with her left hand to try to grab onto his finger. He reached his pointer finger out to her as she softly grasped it and kissed it.

“Awwww!” Lincoln couldn’t resist his baby cousin’s cuteness.

Lily then noticed Lori, looking a tad grumpy, and tried to cheer her up by reaching her right hand over to her pointer finger. Lori noticed, and held her finger out so Lily could grab it.

“Awwwwww-yeeeeeeeee OUUUUUUCH!!!”

Lori pulled her finger out of the glove’s strong grasp to reveal that it got bent at several different angles. Eee-yick.

Lily started to cry because of Lori’s pain-filled scream.

“WAAAAAAAH, sob, sob, WAAAAAAAAH!”

“Great job, LORI, you made her cry!” Leni gave her a dirty look.

“I made HER cry?!?” Lori teared up a bit, looking at her damaged finger.

“Come on, guys, let’s find a way to cheer Lily up.” Lincoln notioned to his older sisters.

“Do you want Bun Bun, Lily?” Lincoln said. “For five minutes.”

“Wahhhh, ha, haaaaaaah!”

“Erm...ten minutes?” Lincoln tried bargaining.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

But it was no use.

“Awww! Does Lily want to here one of my zany jokes to make her feel better?” Luan said.

Lincoln sighed. “Go ahead. We’ll try anything at this point.”

Luan looked Lily in the eyes sweetly. Lily stopped sobbing and looked at Luan, with tears dripping down.

“Hey, Lily! Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“.....dunno…” Lily softly replied.

“Because he wanted the calming embrace of death!” Luan smiled like she really hit a zinger.

“WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!” Lily screamed out.

“Luan, what kind of joke was THAT?” Lincoln was disappointed at her.

“Oh no, you didn't understand the punchline. The joke was that he was a manic depressive chicken.” Luan explained.

Lincoln facepalmed. “That doesn’t make it better, Luan.”

Luna pondered to herself about what she could do to give Lily a smile.

“That’s it!” Luna got an idea.

She ran up the stairs to her bedroom to bring out her wooden guitar, and brought it down to the living room.

“Oh, Liiii-lyyyyyy! I have a sooooong for yooooou!” Luna sang out.

Lily stopped crying and looked up to see Luna with the guitar.

Lily always loved whenever Luna sang nursery rhymes for her whenever she came over to the house. Lily began to crack a tiny smile.

“That’s more like it!” Luna was enthusiastic to play. She already solved the problem!

Luna began to clear her throat and strum her guitar.

“The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round…”

Luna waited for Lily to sing along.

“...all...truu...townn!!” Lily sang.

Lincoln, Aunt Ruth, and everyone else was proud of Luna.

“Nicely done, my peanut butter cup of joy.” Aunt Ruth rubbed Luna’s head.

“Everybody!!” Luna motioned for everyone to join in.

“The wheels on the bus go round and round! Round and round! Round and round!”

Lily was having so much fun singing along, that she kept snapping her fingers to the beat of the song.

Everyone else was having such a great time, that they didn’t notice anything about what was happening to the outside world. Since Lily kept snapping her fingers along to the song, approximately half of their society was crumbling into nothing but dust.

-

Rusty was sitting bedside from his brother, Rocky. Rusty’s mom called him up to his little brother’s bedroom, fearing that he was ill. Rocky came upstairs with a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and opened Rocky’s bedroom door to feed him some.

After a few spoonfuls, Rocky’s eyes jolted open as he felt something strange happening in his stomach.

“Hey Rusty, I don’t feel so good,” Rocky said.

Rusty then realized his brother was fading away.

“Aww, nuts, did you get the flu again? You know how expensive your medications are already, dude!” Rusty said to him.

Rocky couldn’t respond. He had been phased out of Royal Woods for good.

Rusty couldn’t care less. “Hey, Moooom! Rocky needs that expensive flu shot again!”

-

Meanwhile, Flat Tire was sneaking up behind Polly Pain, disguised by a bush. He sprayed some mint breath freshener into his mouth and practiced puckering up.

Polly Pain was skating down the sidewalk on this sunny, fine weathered day.

“What didja expect, Judy Garland prancin’ in the flower fields, buster?” Polly Pain called out to me.

All of a sudden, a disco ball drops down in front of her.

“Huh? How can a disco ball be hanging here? I’m nowhere near a house or tree or anything!” Polly Pain pointed to the disco ball, stranded in mid air.

But this was no ordinary disco ball. For where the disco ball glittered, so did Flat Tire, and his funky fresh dance moves, ready to soothe the ladies.

“This feels oddly familiar, but I can’t put me finger on it.” Polly noted.

Flat Tire jumped out of the bush.

“Hup hawww!” Flat Tire struck a groovy pose.

Disco music played around the two, almost like they were in a club dancing to the beat.

“I didn’t order any disco music! I thought I got rid a’ Spotify!” Polly was confused.

Flat Tire’s eyes bulged towards Polly’s smooth, sexy bod.

“H-ooooooooh, yeaaaaah! Ah, rawr!” Flat Tire forced Polly to dance to the disco beat.

“So, you wanna little moment between us, big boy? Then let’s DANCE!” Polly joined in.

Flat Tire led as Polly skated until she couldn’t skate no more.

Literally.

As Flat Tire prepared to spin Polly in a mini tornado to the song, she was nowhere to be seen.

“Huuuuh? What tha?” Flat Tire was puzzled.

Then he noticed that he was starting to fade into nonexistance, too.

“GAAAAAAH! My character hasn’t even been properly introduced in an AT Famous Fanfick yet! Yee-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

But it was too late. Flat Tire had boogied himself out. Of existence.

He faded away into the wind, along with what happened to Polly.

-

Maggie was walking down the street, trying to think of what she could get for a birthday present for her father.

She then saw the floating disco ball in the air that Flat Tire had left there before his death.

“Sweet! A free gift! My dad will love this, he was born in the 70’s!”

That was, until she realize she was fading away.

“Curse you, irony!” Maggie said. “And the people online that shipped me with that stupid Luan persooooooonnnnn…”

Since she was holding the disco ball, that blew off into dust along with her.

-

Luigi was busy making pizza pies inside of his restaurant. No time for dilly dallying, we’ve got hungry customers to serve!

“Ayyyyy, Joey, ya gott-a the anchovies, ta toppa ma momma’s ol famoso ravioli, kapeesh?” Luigi ordered his employees around the kitchen.

“Ahh, hold yer horses, gramps! I’ve got za new shipment in de back! Lemme get em.” Joey assured Luigi.

“Let’ssa go, Joe Shmoe! We be seatin da Newspapeh boys tonite!” Luigi mocked him.

“Urgh, every day with this tripe. Blah, blah, blah.”

Joey went out to the back to see where the new shipment of anchovies came in. He found it in the corner of the back alleyway, but felt that the sun was unusually bright today, and hot.

He looked up at the sky, and when he got one small glimpse of the sun, heexploded into ash. Death had spread to the pizzeria, as well.

“Joey! You sonofaslacker, you, imma get you fired, like-a the last slackers that comm-a in-a here for work!” Luigi went out the back door to look for Joey, when he too felt the strange heat waves coming off from the sun.

He looked left and right across the alleyway to try to find Joey, but he was nowhere to be found.

“Ahh….Joey?” Luigi asked, worried.

Unknowingly, Luigi himself faded into nothing along with Joey, in the mere seconds that he stepped outside.

And unfortunately, none of the customers inside the restaurant passed away from the sudden death spread across town, and they were all angry that they weren’t getting served their Luigi’s pizza.

“WHERE'S OUR FOOD?” Nathan yelled to his mother, father, and grandma sitting at the table.

“I do say, chap, it has been yet two hours since ordering, and still no sausage pie pizza has been bestowed on our table, quite.” the fancy British child said to his father.

Meat Bowl was getting impatient, too.

“If me not getting Swedish meatball pizza in one seconds, which of course is unrelated to naming, then I sue, yes. Okay, suing now-ski.”

“LET’S LOOT FOR FOOD IN HERE!” Nathan’s mother was off of her meds again.

The entire restaurant went bonkers.

Nathan’s grandma decided to watch the entire mess go down as she patiently sat at the table. Or rather, she was basically forced to watch the chaos, because of how her body was paralyzed.

“OH, LOOOO!” she said, as she pointed to Prisoner Biggy Dee stealing all of the cash from the pizzeria cash register.

-

Clyde was walking down the street when he caught a TV broadcast through a store window. It was turned to the news channel.

“This just in, a random Swedish guy who can barely speak English is suing Luigi’s pizzeria, for taking too long with his order. We now cut to the courtroom for more. Diane?”

The news camera cuts to inside of the courtroom. Meat Bowl is standing up from his plaintiff chair, with his lawyer by his side.

“I sues them for starvingation of stomach belonging to myself, hmm. Zees cannot be standing for.

Meat Bowl then sat down back into his plaintiff seat.

The judge then announced to the courtroom, “Does the defense have anything to say?”

The camera than cut to the defendant. The name tag on the defendant bench said Luigi Apposanti and Joey Briggs, employees of Luigi’s Pizza. But no one was sitting in the defendant chair. Both Luigi and Joey were dead.

“The defense rests.” Meat Bowl’s lawyer announced.

“Judgement then goes to the sad, strange plaintiff. A grand total of $15 shall be awarded to Mister Meat, for the inconvenience of a pizza that was never delivered.” the judge decided.

Just then, the TV’s signal got cut off. Even the electronic TV was killed by Lily’s powerful finger snapping.

“Stupid TV sets.” Clyde mumbled.

Clyde needed to look at something to calm him down from his upset mood. He pulled out a pocket locket shaped like heart to reveal a picture of Lori that he took when he stalked her that one afternoon in the trees, just so he could try to see her when she was getting prepared for a shower. While he didn’t get the ultimate reward of taking a picture of her naked, this picture did the trick just fine.

“Oh, Lori, if only I could woo you over, like how that Mexican tramp does,” Clyde sexually moaned.

Then Clyde’s locket started to dissolve into the wind.

“L-L-Lori?? Where did ya go?” Clyde reached his hand into the wind to try to search for his locket, only to see that his hand was fading into dust, too.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh…”

-

Greedy ExecutiveProducer slowly started to open his eyes. He was in a hospital in Hollywood, being treated for injuries from when he fell from a tall skyscraper building.

“Urgh…..ha, hah…..where am I?”

“Oh, good, sir! You’re awake! You’ve been in a nasty coma for the past few months.” the doctor started telling him.

“This is the first time you’ve woken up. You’re a lucky, lucky man, Mister ExecutiveProducer.” the doctor continued.

“I...I am?” Greedy slowly spoke.

“Well duh, do I need to repeat it a second time?” the doctor explained.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH HA HAAAAAAAAA! YES! IM BACK! IM ALIVE! And NOW, its time to make several dozen new Ace Savvy and Mary The Lamb films, whether the critics LIKE IT OR NOT! AHHHHHHHHH HAHAhahaHAAAAAAAA!” Greedy jumped for joy.

The doctor was slowly taking the IV out of Greedy’s arm, and as soon as he did, Greedy POOFED into nothing.

The doctor was stunned.

“What the hell? I’ve never seen a disease like this…”

-

“So, Dad, where are you taking me now that the stupid pizzeria didnt give us our food? Huh, huh, where, Daddy? Where, where?” Nathan kept pestering his father.

“AHHH, alright, alright! If you just SHADDAP, I’ll take you to Chuck E Cheese.” Nathan’s father agreed to something to silence his spoiled brat.

“Oh, boy, Mom! We’re going ta Chuck E Cheee, eeese!” Aren’t you excited? Aren’t you, aren’t you?” Nathan shouted to his mom in the car.

“I need my frickin meds, stat.” Nathan’s mother said to herself.

As the family approached the Chuck E Cheese, Nathans grandma pointed to the building in awe.

“OH, LOOOOO!”

The four of them got out of the car and started walking towards the Chuck E Cheese. Except for Nathan, who was running towards it.

However, what they didnt know was that Lily’s snapping also killed off the structural supports for the Chuck E Cheese building.

“All of the pizza and games I want, right inside of this door!”

As soon as Nathan jerked the front door of the Chuck E Cheese open, the entire brick building came crashing down on top of them.

BAM! ZOW! SHZING! WHACKOOOOM! KA-BOING-A-ROING!!!

Unfortunately for them, the family didn't get the pleasure of dying by painlessly fading into dust. They died the bloody way. :)

-

“...All through the town! Yaaaaaaaaaay!!!”

The entire Loud family cheered as they finished the song. Wow, they were singing that same song for a long time.

“Thank you so much, my bundles of joy! You guys sure know how to give Lily a smile, yah!” Aunt Ruth told the group.

“Yeah! That was a blast to sing along to, Luna!” Luan complimented.

“It was my pleasure, me luv.” Luna took a bow.

“Hey, guys, whaddya say we have some more fun, by going to Chuck E Cheese!” Lincoln proposed to the group.

“YEAH!” everyone else shouted, including Lily.

“Chuk-eeeeee! Eh, hee heeeee!” Lily giggled.

“Now all we have to do is step out of this house, AND-”

Lincoln opened the front door to see that half of the entire city was completely missing, including houses on the block. His jaw dropped open in shock.

“Luna…”

“Yeah, Linc?”

“Never play ‘Wheels On The Bus’ on your guitar ever again.” Lincoln said.

THE END