Brawl in the Family/Script

''[The episode begins with Lincoln whistling as he goes to the couch, but the living room is empty. Then, he walks over to the kitchen, only to find out that Luna is blocking the entrance.]''

Luna: Sorry bro, kitchen's off limits. Lori's in there cooling off. She and Leni had a major throwdown.

Lincoln: Yeah, sad story. But I'm hungry.

Lisa: [As Lincoln was about to walk into the kitchen.] Fear not, male sibling. You should be able to associate your appetite by forging under the couch cushions. [holds out the bagel] See what I scored?

Lincoln: Ooh, an everything bagel. [eats the bagel]

Lisa: [takes the bagel from Lincoln] Mmm... Correction, a plain bagel with flunge, dog hair, [gasped] is that a booger?

[Lincoln surprised, runs to the bathroom and vomits.]

Lincoln: [To Lana] Do not eat the couch bagel.

Lana: Sorry, bathroom's off limits. Leni is in there cooling off from the fight. [hand Lincoln a bucket.] Here use this.

Lincoln: A bucket?

Lana: Don't knock until you try it.

''[Lincoln surprised. In the living room, Lola, Lynn and Lucy are reading. Lincoln enters the room and surprised. Lincoln is about to take the remote. The sisters stared at him and fight him and continue reading.]''

Lynn: Sorry, TV's off limits.

Lincoln: Aw, come on! Why?

Lola: Lori and Leni are on edge. You've watch Monster Truck Ralley is not going to have them.

Lincoln: This is ridiculous. What are they even fighting about?

''[Flashback: The sisters (except Lori and Leni) are sitting at the couch doing their jobs. Lori enters the room.]''

Lori: Guys! Guys! Guys! [pulls out her dress] Check out this dress I found at the mall. It's literally one of a kind.

Lori's sisters: Oooohh...

Leni: [enters the room] O-M-Gosh, you guys! Look at this dress I found at the mall!

[The sisters gasped]

Leni: Ooohh..., when did we put a mirror in the living room?

Lori: That's not a mirror, that's me! Now go take your dress back!

Leni: What? No! You take yours back! ''[the two growl at each other as the other sisters whistle and head upstairs. End flashback]''

Lincoln: That's it? You gotta be kidding me! Clyde and I wear the same shirt on picture day, and we didn't care. ''[flashback to where he and Clyde wear the same shirt on a school picture day. End flashback]''

Lucy: It's a sister thing. You wouldn't understand.

Lincoln: Well, let's go help them work it out. So we can have our house back. [Lynn stops him with her hockey stick] Oof!

Lynn: Negative. In this family, we have a sister fight protocol. Butt out, and let them resolve it on their own.

Lincoln: [As he walks to Lori and Leni's room] Yeah? Well I have a protocol, too! Which is I don't like pooping in the bucket! ''[knocks on Lori and Leni's bedroom door and opens the door as walks in. He sighs]'' Hey guys. Now look, I know you've been having a little problem.

Lori: Lincoln.

Lincoln: But I think I can settle this.

Leni: Lincoln.

Lincoln: Leni, why don't you just return the dress? Lori once said blue makes you washed out anyway.

Leni: [to Lori] Wait, what?!

Lincoln: Okay, okay. I'm just been ballin' here. Lori, why don't you return the dress? Leni says taffy makes you look like Aunt Ruth. And who wants that? Am I right? [Lori gasps]

Lori: [to Leni] Excuse me?!

Lincoln: So what do you say? Ready to hug it out?

Lori: We already hugged it out! We were fine! But now that I know that she thinks I look like Aunt Ruth, WE ARE DEFINITELY NOT FINE!!!!!

Leni: You insulted my skin tone! Nothing's gonna make that right! ''[She and Lori argue at each other. Lincoln looks scared as he gets out of their room, and shuts the door. Just then, the other sisters were angry at him for making the fight worse. Lincoln falls.]''

Lynn: Ugh, nice job Lincoln! We told you to stay out of it!

Lisa: Based on rising decibel levels, I'm up in the threat level in the house from thunderstorm to hissing cats. Sisters, to your stations!

Lincoln: Uh, what's going on?

Lola: Let us handle it.

''[The next scene, Lincoln is in his room reading his comics. Luna and Luan enter the room, which scares Lincoln.]''

Luna: Scram dude, we need your room.

Lincoln: What? Why?

Luan: Lori's approaching a sector. And we can't risk her runnin' with Leni. [Luna pushes Lincoln out of his room as walks back in, as Luan pushes Leni in there.]

Luna: Coast is clear, bro.

Lucy: Copy that. [allows Lori to go upstairs] You may proceed.''[Lori walks upstairs to her bedroom. Luna gets out of Lincoln's room, and Luan pushes Leni out. Lori gets out of her room while texting on her phone.]''

Lucy: [voice] Abort, abort. Leni is headed back up. [Luna and Luan pushes Lori into Lincoln's room.]

Lori: Ah!

Lincoln: [As Luna and Luan enter the room with Lori.] Ah!

Luan: Lincoln, make like a drama and beat it! [chuckles] Get it? But seriously, out. ''[Lincoln is kicked out of his room. Leni walks back upstairs and goes to her room as she slams the door.]''

Lincoln: [sighs]

[Later that night, it was dinner time.]

Lynn Sr.: And then   realized he was driving regular, not decaf! (starts laughing)