User blog:007Jamesdean/End of A Buzzard

It starts with me, Varie, Lincoln and Lilly and Woody watching TV and Laney was reading a book in the Living Room. We were watching funny cartoons.

BONK!

We laughed at the Coyote getting hit with an anvil.

Me: Oh that Coyote is always getting hurt.

Woody: Yeah you said it.

Then the TV was interrupted.

Announcer: We interrupt our regularly scheduled program to bring you this special report.

News Reporter: Buzz Buzzard, notorious con man and vicious criminal has escaped from the Indiana State Prison. He was convicted of numerous counts of fraud, theft, and numerous other crimes.

Woody: Buzz Buzzard escaped from prison!?

Me: I thought he was locked away for good.

Woody: He was. It was one year before I was kicked out of my neighborhood.

Flashback shows Woody walking down the street to get a bite to eat and he saw Buzz Buzzard and his accomplice Tweaky heading into a back to rob it.

I saw him about to rob a bank and I called the police and got him arrested for it. He was sentenced to 340 years in prison without parole and was declared a habitual offender.

Laney: And now he busted out of jail and is probably out to get revenge.

New Reporter: Buzz Buzzard and his accomplice Tweaky are said to be out to get revenge on local resident Woody Woodpecker for putting him in prison and foiling all his crimes. A reward of $250,000,000.00 will be given if he is brought back dead or alive. Another $250 Million will be given if Tweaky is captured too.

Woody: $500 Million?! That's for me!

Me: And we'll help you get that reward money buddy.

Lincoln: I've always hated Buzz Buzzard on your show Woody. He makes all other criminals look like tame kittens compared to them.

Laney: Yeah. He makes even convicted Ponzi Schemer Bernard Madolf look like a joke.

Me: Well one thing is for sure. We have to stop him for good this time and make him pay for his crimes.

Woody: Yeah. Lets get him!

We set out to find him and sure enough he was in Woody's old neighborhood in Indiana.

Woody: Hello Buzz.

They saw Buzz Buzzard himself.

Me: Buzz Buzzard in the flesh. Uh... in the feathers rather.

Buzz: Woody Woodpecker. Just the guy I was looking for and I see you have J.D. Knudson the famous multi-billionaire hero with you.

Me: Nice to know we've made an impression on you.

Buzz: Hey Woody what happened to your house? There's a stump where your tree was.

Me: You didn't hear about this but Woody's landlady Ms. Meany kicked him out of his home and forced him onto the streets and we found him in Michigan less than a year ago.

Buzz: Ms. Meany?

Tweaky: Yeah boss. She was that mean red hair woman with a nasty temper and she hated Woody with a terrible vengeance.

Buzz: Oh yeah. I heard she disappeared somehow.

Lincoln: I fought her and banished her into the Spirit Realm for eternity.

Buzz: I know you. You're the famous Lincoln Loud. You sure gave Meany a run for her money.

Lincoln: That's right.

Tweaky: I know you. You're Laney Loud. I heard you killed a kid that was a terrorist in the making.

Laney: That's right Tweaky. His name was Chandler Henderson and he was an evil psychopathic lunatic.

Woody: We didn't come here to brag about our achievements. We came to bring you back to prison so we can collect a bounty on both your heads.

Varie: We've had it with the both of you and you're going to the Netherworld for eternity.

I fired 3 energy rings at Tweaky and tied him up and Lincoln and Woody went at Buzz and punched him. Woody pecked Buzz in the head.

PECK!!!! PECK!!!! PECK!!!! PECK!!!! PECK!!!! PECK!!! PECK!!!! PECK!!!! PECK!!!! PECK!!!!

Lincoln fired a stream of lightning at Buzz and it set his butt on fire.

ZAP!!!! WHOOSH!!!!

Buzz: YEEEOOOOWWWWW!!!!!!!!! MY BUTT IS ON FIRE.

Woody brought him a bucket and he put his butt in it. But what he didn't know was that the bucket was full of Kerosene. It exploded and burned his butt bad.

BOOM!!!!

Woody: Guess who? (Trademark Laugh)

Wally Walrus came out and he saw Woody and Lincoln fighting Buzz Buzzard.

Wally: (Swedish Accent) Voody and Lincoln are back and they are fighting Buzz Buzzard?

He saw me, Varie, Lilly and Laney sitting in Lounge Chairs and he decided to sit back and watch.

Lincoln: This is for coning Woody during a bowling game!

Lincoln fired a blast of Lightning at Buzz and kicked him in the beak and knocked out all his teeth.

Woody: This is for trying to steal my wallet with a phony baseball game!

Woody punched Buzz in the stomach and pecked him like a jackhammer.

Wally: Boy oh boy! This is a fun show ya?

Me: You said it Wally.

Lincoln kicked buzz in the back and picked him up and slammed him onto the ground on both sides of him. Lincoln then took out a bottle and it was hot sauce. But this was my newest hottest hot sauce in the world. It's called EVIL NIHILISTIC OBLITERATOR DEATH SAUCE. It's made with capsaicin extract from the hottest peppers in the world and even the hottest peppers in the entire Universe and even some ingredients that chefs would consider stronger and more powerful than Plutonium. The label on the bottle was a picture of an evil skull with glowing eyes made entirely out of fire and it had the Star of Satan in the middle of it's forehead with a pepper in it's mouth that had a skull and crossbones on it.

Lincoln: Have a drink buzz.

Lincoln shoved the bottle into Buzz's mouth and he drank the whole thing. Suddenly he exploded in a huge jet of fire that went high into the sky and exploded into a fiery explosion that can be seen from space.

Buzz came back down and he was now a deep fried mess. He was a turkey with an apple in his mouth with lettuce and gravy.

Lincoln: (Italian Accent) That's a Spicy Meat-a-ball!

Woody: Trademark laugh.

Tweaky: BOSS!!!! He's dead.

Me: You're under arrest Tweaky.

They both were brought back to the prison.

Officer: Good work you two. You will get the $500 million reward.

Woody: Thank you officer.

Later back at the Knudson-Loud-Anderson estate we revealed everything that went down.

Lori: Wow! Buzz Buzzard literally didn't stand a chance against you two.

Lincoln: He sure didn't Lori. He got what he deserved big time.

Luna: But aren't you upset that you made your first kill bro?

Lincoln: No. I'm a shinobi and I have done it before. It's part of my job and it's what I have to do to protect everyone that I love.

Laney: That's right Lincoln. It's a tough job.

Leni: Totes. But I'm glad Buzz got what was coming to him.

Lilly: Me too guys. Linky you were awesome out there.

Lincoln: Thanks Lilly.

Woody upgraded his tree house into a tree mansion and it was a luxurious house. Woody is now sitting in the lap of Luxury. But he didn't let it go to his head. He invited Winny, Knothead and Splinter to live with him.

THE END.

Another Fanfiction complete.

VinJedi1995 gave me the idea for this chapter. Thanks man. Buzz Buzzard is a stupid con bird that will never learn. But let me know what you all think.

See you next time.