User blog:EnglishBoy3/The Loud House Rap Battles: LORI VS LENI

Category: The Loud House

Type: Canon

Characters Involved: Lori, Leni

Note 1: It's been a while but I'm back with a different account. I couldn't log into my previous one for some reason not because I got the password wrong, I had it saved and so it was correct but I'm locked out. Guess it was because when I initially created the account, I cancelled it because I had decided I wasn't going to join, only to then change my mind again. Anyway, the guidelines said that I wouldn't be able to log in if I chose not to log in for 20 days but I logged in right the day after and thought it was cancelled. Oh well, anyway here's the battle between the two eldest Loud Sisters.

LORI VS LENI

Leni: Let’s do this Lori once and for all,

I’m glad we’re totes gonna settle this sister battle in the mall,

Our fans are head over heels for me,

The best gal that they’ve ever seen,

Can you blame them, I have the purest of hearts?

That’s why in Lincoln’s coloring book I was eleven of hearts,

And the one entrusted to saving Lincoln,

As well as the one who gave gifts to good people,

If you weren’t as boring or obsessed with Bobby,

Then maybe you would be as liked as Lily: our little cubby.

Lori: Please you’re popularity’s a fluke,

You’re way less interesting than Luce,

You have more fanboys than fans,

You couldn’t drive your father’s van,

In fifteen attempts may I add,

People only love you cause you were nice,

To Lincoln.

Leni: Sooo….

Lori:   Without him in the show,

Your popularity would be toast,

Your blunders are annoying,

Giving you literally no reason to boast,

Funny in the first season that’s for sure,

It loses its effect and becomes difficult to endure,

Nicest of them all huh,

Where was that?

When you attacked an elderly lady like a mad woman and knocked her out flat,

And stealing all my clothes cause you can’t buy your own,

Can’t take care of yourself even at home.

Leni: Well at least I’m a good person,

Unlike you,

You sabotaged my driving test,

You didn’t have a clue?

That nobody ever likes the bossy mean sister,

You’re scarier than the science thingy from Lisa.

Lori: It’s not being mean,

It’s called being smart,

If you learned to drive,

You’d literally be everyone’s favourite shopping cart,

When will you learn that sometimes you have to be tough,

Unless people will take advantage and leave you feeling hurt,

I learned the hard way in Bobby’s City,

That some people out there won’t give you any pity,

If you literally weren’t so naïve and dumb all the time,

Then we’d trust you to things and everything will be fine,

But you used a microwave as a hair dryer,

If you had a difficult employee, you’d never fire,

Think a rock’s your brother,

Chasing after you on April Fools made us tired.

Mistook Lily for a squirrel,

Can’t walk and chew gum,

Are you literally for real?

Leni: Oh yeah right,

I’d totes take advice from you,

You were acting all in love around Hugh,

A cheater in romance’s,

A cheater in life,

Bobby’s acts like a good husband and you acted like a bad wife,

And don’t think I’ve forgotten about you trying to get Clyde,

Cause of his gifts.

Lori facepalms.

Lori: You’re so dense,

That’s it no longer funny,

You have as many brain cells as Lincoln’s toy bunny,

You sent a love letter to Chaz,

Isn’t a bad wife also how you act as,

You were also into Hugh,

And then you moved on to Chaz,

How do we know you won’t do the same,

If all of a sudden he was here and walked past,

You’re similar to the rest of us,

Fighting over money and the sweet spot,

And peeing in Lincoln’s pool when it was hot,

Going crazy in the grocery store,

And finding Lincoln’s activities a complete bore,

So you’ve messed around as much as us,

And when there’s trouble you have made a fuss,

Can you literally quit acting like you’re so special?

And just for the record I wasn’t attracted by Clyde’s gifts,

The reason my different actions were so swift,

Were because I realize that Clyde does good things,

And is a better person than I originally thought,

And I’d always taken advantage of the things he had bought.

I hadn’t been sure what I was doing,

Until I realized the right thing was to apologize to him.

Leni: Well by doing that,

You stopped Clyde’s progress,

When a conversation with you was the test,

And you wanted him to act normal around you

And the sudden change is totes not understandable,

I can’t understand you Lori,

Nobody can,

That’s why most fans don’t like you,

Only us, friends, Pop Pop and Myrtle from Insta-gran.

All you do all day is chat on the phone,

and acting like everything's always yours to own,

like your room and fights over pizza,

cause your the eldest so you must always get the pizza,

I can pick a lock, build beds and even fix clothes,

while the only thing you can fix is the relationship with Bobby,

if it ever reaches  an all time low.

I got a job being a good person at the mall,

while your biggest job is on date night watching all of us walk the halls,

I  have a clear future,

so what's yours?

Note 2: Well how about that, a rap battle between these two at last. So who'd you think won this one? Also who would you like to see next? And finally what kind of career do you think Lori will take on growing up?