User blog:RadicalPatMan/No Guts No Glori Rewrite

Behold, another rewrite on the wiki and my first one. This rewrite is on No Guts No Glori. Written by ThatGreenandOrangeGuy and Aartistboy714 and uploaded and edited by me, SpongeGuy12 with their permission. Now sit back and read.

Script
[Lincoln's room; the boy is enjoying a nice glass of lemonade with a crazy straw.]

Lincoln: "Ah, Friday night. You survived another week of school. Now it's time to kick back, forget your troubles, and crack open a brand new video game." [gets out a copy of Super Mega Brawlers Turbo Fighter and smells it.] "Love that new game smell." [Suddenly picks up another scent; one that worries him.] "Wait a minute." [sniffs again] "Is that...Oh no!"

[Soon, his sisters start picking up the scent as well.]

Lucy: (sniffing) "Sniff. Sniff."

Lincoln: "Mom's expensive perfume. Which can only mean one thing." [checks the calendar and finds out what tonight is...] "Date night! Which can only mean one other thing!"

Rita: "Lori's in charge! Do as she says! Bye!" [leaves]

Lincoln: "NOOOOOOOOO! She gets a sick thrill from bossing us around! In this house, we call her the Queen of-"

Lori: [from upstairs] "NO!" [unplugs Luna's amplifiers] "NO MUSIC!" [tosses Lana's mud pie in the trash] "NO MUD PIES!" [approaches Leni who's talking on the phone] "NO-"

Leni: "Way! That's totes cray cray!"

Lori: [hangs up Leni's call] "No phone calls." [takes away Lincoln's game] "AND NO VIDEO GAMES!"

[Lori dresses up in a military uniform and blows a whistle that summons her siblings and the pets to the front room.]

Lori: "At ease!" [Everyone feels calmer now] "JUST KIDDING! NOBODY IS TO BE AT EASE IN MY PRESENCE!" [the others regain their forms] "As you know, Mom and Dad left me in charge. That means, you have to do as I say, whether you're tall, short, or covered in fur and can only understand the word "sit"."

[Charles, Cliff, and Geo sit down on command, but Walt tips over in his attempt and knocks Geo's hamster ball to the side.]

Lori: [busts out a chart of tonight's schedule] "Now, here is our schedule for this evening. 6:00 to 7:00: Sitting on bed with arms folded. 7:00 to 7:30: Chow. 7:30 to 8:00: Thorough cleaning of mess hall. 8:00: Staring at wall until falling asleep. Everyone got that?"

Lincoln, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lisa, and Lily: "MA'AM, YES, MA'AM!"

Lana: "SIR, YES, SIR!"

[Lori glares at Lana for calling her "sir".]

Lori: "DISMISSED!"

[Everyone rushes back upstairs while Geo hops in his ball up each step.]

[Lincoln opens his door and puts a note in Geo's hamster ball.]

Lincoln: "Hey, Geo. Want a snack, boy?" [tosses the snack over to Lola and Lana's door.]

[Geo rolls over, opens his ball, gets the treat, and gets the twins' attention; Lincoln does this with his other sisters; the note tells them to meet in Lincoln's room and they sneak over to Lincoln's room; Luan has camouflaged herself with the wall and sneaks in; Leni is the only one who still hasn't snuck out of her room since she's with Lori at the moment; she begins to sneak off while wearing a scarf.]

Lori: [suspicious] "Leni, what are you doing?"

Leni: "I'm not Leni. I'm wearing a scarf."

Lori: [not fooled one bit] "You've got five minutes to do your business."

[Leni goes out and sneaks over to Lincoln's room to join the others for a big meeting.]

Lola: This better be good. You know how much trouble we'll be in if Lori finds out we're not in our rooms?"

Lincoln: "Rooms? More like prison cells! Every time Lori's left in charge, she makes our lives miserable. Well, I say no more! It's time to take back our Friday nights! Luna, do you like it when Lori unplugs your amp mid-jam?"

Luna: "It's way harsh."

Lincoln: "And Lana, how about when Lori throws out your mud pies?"

Lana: "I work hard on those!"

Lincoln: "And Lily, what about when Lori won't let you run around naked?" [Lily takes off her diaper and blows a raspberry in protest.] "Then let's do something about it!"

Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lily: "YEAH!"

[Back in Lori and Leni's room, Lori is trying to paint her toenails like in Sixteen 1/2 Magazine, but she doesn't seem to have gotten it down; suddenly, Luna's jam is back on, which Lori does not take well as it's going against her orders.]

Lori: [sees Lily playing] "Lily? What are you-"

[Just then, there are some creaks and Lori notices that the others are right behind her; they tackle her and she screams for help; just then, it's revealed that they tied her up to a chair.]

Lori: [furious] "Hey! What is going on?"

Lincoln: "Your power trip is over! We're taking back our Friday nights!"

Lori: "Power trip?"

Lincoln: "Just admit it. You get a sick thrill out of bossing us around." [The other sisters concur.]

Lori: "You think I enjoy this? Unfortunately, I'm the only one who can keep this house from ending up in a pile of rubble! It's not like any of you could do it."

Lana: "Yuh-huh. Lincoln could."

Lincoln: [surprised] "I could?"

Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lola, Lana, Lisa, and Lily: "WE'RE THINKIN' LINCOLN! WE'RE THINKIN' LINCOLN!"

[Lincoln and Lori are flabbergasted at this.]

Lori: [condescendingly] "Lincoln in charge? Ha! He couldn't lead Cliff to the litter box."

[Cliff is right next to his little box and suddenly goes right on the carpet.]

Lincoln: "Oh yeah? Challenge accepted!" [takes the whistle] "Take her away!"

[the other sisters carry her to her room.]

Lori: "You won't last five minutes!" [laughs maniacally] HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Lincoln: [shuts the door] "Lola, guard this door. No one goes in, no one comes out."

[Lola nods in agreement and gets a Golf club to guard the door while dressing up as a security guard.]

Lincoln: "Say goodbye to the Queen of No..." [tosses whistle on the floor] "...and hello to the King of Yes!"

[The sisters cheer in victory; Luna is finally jamming out.]

Lincoln: "Yes to music!" [cranks the tunes and puts a happy face on Lana's mud pie.] "Yes to mud!"

Leni: [on the phone] "Seriously?"

Lincoln: "Yes to phone calls! And yes to video games!" [turns his game on]

SUPER MEGA BRAWLERS TURBO FIGHTER XXIV

Game announcer: "Round 1: Fight!"

[But just before Lincoln can finally start playing, Leni screams and Lincoln pauses the game to see what's wrong; it turns out that Luan is chasing Leni around with a rubber spider.]

Lincoln: "Uh...okay. Have fun. Just don't get too crazy."

[Just then, Luna's amps are at a really high volume.]

Lincoln: "RAD SOUNDS! MAYBE NOT SO LOUD!" [turns it down a little which Luna doesn't understand.]

[Lincoln tries to get back to his game, but there's a suddenly explosion and the smoke alarm goes off; Lisa comes out of her room.]

Lincoln: [concerned] "What was that?!"

Lisa: "It's science. You wouldn't understand." [just then, a tentacle grabs Lisa and drags her back in.] "AAH!" [the door closes.]

Lincoln: "Just keep it on a leash!"

[Just before he can resume his game, he finds Lily on top of a bookshelf throwing books on the floor and walking over to the edge of the shelf and starts climbing to save her.]

Lincoln: "LILY! STOP!"

[Lily walks over the edge and Lincoln catches her; at that moment, Lana casts a fishing rod right into the fish tank.]

Lincoln: "Lana! You can't fish in there! Those are pets." [notices Lily escaped and uses Lana's fishing rod to reel her back in.]

[Lynn comes in with a bucket of dirt and pours the dirt on the floor.]

Lincoln: "Lynn! What are you doing?"

Lynn: "Can't ride a dirt bike without dirt."

Lincoln: "Give me that bucket!"

[Suddenly, Lincoln is in a crossfire of pizza slices and waffles tossed by Lana and Lucy who are having a food fight; he shields himself with a cookie sheet and the pizza and waffles plaster all over it and make a rather gorgeous painting which impresses him; Lynn is pouring water from the hose all over the carpet and then gets pegged by an incoming gourd; the hose then starts going wild; Leni is on the phone while Luan is still chasing her with her rubber spider.]

Leni: "Hi, exterminator guy! Do you do spiders?" [sees the hose] "Ew! What about water snakes?"

[The hose squirts Luan but she resumes chasing Leni; Lincoln trips over the telephone wire and lands in the mud and notices Lucy built a fort of diapers.]

Lincoln: "Lucy! What are you doing with all those diapers?"

[Lana screams like a madman and fires a barrage of meatballs.]

Lucy: "Incoming." [gets down]

Lincoln: [takes cover with her only for their fort wall to be damaged.] "Diaper wall breach!"

[Lana fires a cupcake at them, but Lucy stops it by plugging up the hole with Lily's butt; Lily giggles.]

Luna: "FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK!!!" [sets her amps to "Super Max" and has fireworks all set up for a big finale.]

Lincoln: "LUNA!" [slow motion] "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"

[Too late; Luna plays a chord and the noise blasts Lincoln right into the wall which leaves a dent of unsightly residue while her injured brother collapsed, groaning with pain; Luna including her other sisters, gasps in shock at the sight of their unconscious brother.]

Loud Sisters (except Lori): (shouted in shocked) LINCOLN!!!

(They stop what they're doing and went to Lincoln to aid him)

(Lincoln didn't respond)

Luna: (shaking Lincoln; worried) Lincoln. I said are you alright?

(The sisters are worried that Lincoln wouldn't respond due to the condition he's in. Eventually, Lincoln slowly open his eyes. The sisters sigh in relief to see that he was okay, but he was still injured badly.)

Lincoln: (groans in pain) No. (glaring at Luna; angry) I just got blasted to the wall. How is that alright!?

Luna: (nervously rubs her elbow; ashamed) "I'm sorry, bro, I was just-"

Lincoln: (cuts her off) You were just what? I know, you were just trying to blast my ears and myself off without caring.

Luna: (to Lincoln; ashamed) No. I wasn't trying to do that.

Lincoln: (to Luna; still angry) Well, you did do it anyway without listening to me.

Lana: (to Lincoln; solemnly) "Lincoln, please don't stay mad at Luna, she didn't k-"

Lincoln: (to Lana; cuts her off) Lana, you really think I'll stay mad at Luna? Nope, because I'm not mad at only Luna. (to his sisters; angry) I'm mad at all of you!

(The sisters were shocked that Lincoln was angry at them.)

Lincoln: (to his sisters; angry) And you want to know why? (to Luan) You for chasing around Leni with your stupid fake spider! (to Leni) You for not paying attention to the mess you're making! (to Lana and Lucy) You two for messing around in the living room with your food fight! (to Lisa) You for causing another one of your explosions! (to Lynn) You for dirtying our carpet and floor! (to Luna) And you for blasting me straight into the wall with your "finale!"

Lincoln: (to his sisters; angry) Why are you guys even like this anyway? I understand we have our Friday Night back, but this is ridiclously insane. And by insane, I mean your crazy and careless behavior.

(His sisters except Lori look at eachother, and exchanged guilty expressions.)

Luna: (to Lincoln; guilty) Oh, dude, we had no idea how much ruckus we were causing, we're really sorry, brah.

The other sisters (except Lori): (to Lincoln; guilty) We're so sorry Lincoln/I didn't mean to go way overboard/Sorry Linky/We weren't our good selves/We didn't notice this cause we were having so much fun.

Lincoln: (to his sisters; calm down) It's okay guys. But I do wanna know why were you going so overboard with your freedom? Is it because of Lori?

The Sisters (except Lori): (looking down; sad tone) Yes.

Luna: (to Lincoln; guilty) It's true, bro. We didn't mean to go overboard with our freedom.

Lynn: (to Lincoln; guilty) It's just that we stuck with following Lori's orders for so long that we didn't get a chance to enjoy our free time.

Lucy: (to Lincoln; guilty) She was like a demon who is trying to keep people away from their fun, which I really want fun.

Leni: (to Lincoln; guilty) We're so sorry, Linky. Our reaction of having our free time back after so long got the best of us. Can you ever forgive us?

Lily: (looking at Lincoln; a sad look) Poo poo?

Lincoln: (to his sisters: solemnly) Of course I can forgive you because I would've done the same thing for the same reason too. (now stern) But just because you can finally enjoy your freedom, doesn't mean you should go overboard with it, it will only lead to trouble.

(The other sisters agree to what Lincoln just said. But their apologizing moment was cut short when they notice that the house is really messy cause of their selfish behavior.)

Luna: (shocked at the sight of the destruction) Oh, no, not cool, dudes!

Leni: (shocked at the sight of the destruction) Look where our behavior got us to. A messy house.

Lucy: (worried) What worst than that is that if Mom and Dad returns and see this, we'll be brought down to the graves of The Graveyard of Shame.

Lisa: (to Lucy; worried) Meaning we'll get grounded for this?

Lucy: (to Lisa) Exactly.

Lana: (worried) What are we gonna do now?

Lincoln: (to his sisters) Don't worry, girls. When we're in a messy situation like this, we should always solved it. In this case, clean it up. Who's with me?

Loud Sisters (except Lori): (cheer in excitement) We are!

Lily: (cheered) Ga-ga!

Lincoln: (to Luna; confident) Luna. A little clean up music, please?

Luna: (pulls out her guitar) You got it, bro!

[Three colorful boxes, one red, one yellow, and one purple are shown with Luna preparing to start the montage; she is also colored in to match the boxes like in the show's opening.]

Luna: 1, 2, 3!

[Lincoln blows Lori's whistle and everyone does what they can to clean the house; Lana puts the fish back in the tank, Lisa scrubs up the living room with a soap cannon and the help of her tentacle friend; Leni and Luan untangle the phone wire; Lynn uses the hose to clean the kitchen and then puts it outside; Lana then ties up some trash and Lynn yanks it up on her dirt bike; Lincoln fishes out Lily's diaper and puts it on her; Luna sees the painting from the food fight and tosses it to Lincoln, who then catches it and puts it right over the dent; they do the finish touches and carry everything else away as if the house was the same as it was when their parents left.]

Luna: GOODNIGHT, LOUD HOUSE!

Lincoln: (to his sisters) Great job, everyone! The house is back to the way it was before Mom and Dad left. (to Luna) And Luna, that was great music you played there.

Luna: (to Lincoln; smile) Thanks, Bro!

(While Lincoln was giving a good complement to Luna, he notice that Cliff was about to go on the rug instead of his litterbox.)

Lincoln: (to Cliff; yelled; angry) Cliff! Litterbox! NOW!!!

(Cliff got frighten for a moment and went to the litterbox.)

Lana: (to Lincoln; proud) Way to go, big brother! You finally led Cliff to his litterbox!

Loud sisters except Lori: (to Lincoln, proud) Great job, bro/Awesome/I'm proud of you Linky/Hooray/Alright, Lincoln/Woohoo!

Lincoln: (to his sisters except Lori; blushes) Aww! Thanks, guys. (proud) I really should be feeling proud of myself that I can lead Cliff to his litterbox, after all the times Lori said I couldn't.

(Their parents enter.)

Mom: (to her kids) We're back. (stop for the moment and see that the house is sparkling clean; astonished) My gosh, look at the house. It's so...clean. Just the way it was as we left.

Dad: (to Rita; astonished) I'll say. (to his kids; proud) You kids did a great job of being on your best behavior without getting the house all mess up.

Loud Kids (except Lori): (to their dad) Thanks, Dad/Daddy/Pops/Father.

(Suddenly, their parents pauses for a second, and notices that Lori isn't present.)

Mom: (notice Lori is missing; to the kids) Wait a minute. Kids, where Lori?

(the kids got nervous for a moment until Lincoln speaks up.)

Lincoln: (to the parents; nervous; lied) You see, Lori needed some rest for being in charge. So, she went to bed early.

Dad: (to Lincoln; fell for it) Oh. Okay. Hope Lori is okay. If you need us, we'll be going to bed, too.

(With that, the parents went to their bedroom.)

(The siblings except for Lori, all sighed in relief.)

Luan: (sigh in relief) Phew. That was a close one.

Lynn: (to Luan) It sure was, sis. (to Lincoln) Great job getting them to believe that Lori is tired, bro.

Lincoln: (to Lynn) Thanks. (realize something) That reminds me, we should check on Lori.

(The rest of the sisters realize this)

Lana: (realized) Oh yeah, you're right big brother. Come on guys.

(Lincoln and his sisters went upstairs to Lori's room, where Lola was still guarding.)

Lincoln: (to Lola) Hey, Lola.

Lola: (to her siblings except Lori) Hey, guys!

Lola: (to her siblings except Lori) Something tells me that Mom and Dad are back, right?

Luna: (to Lola) That right, little sis.

Lola: (to her siblings except Lori) Yep. That what I thought, cause I heard Mom, Dad, and you guys talking. Anyway, why are you guys here?

Lincoln: (to Lola) We're here to check on Lori to see if she's okay. If that alright with you.

Lola: (to Lincoln; worried) I don't know. You did tell me that no one should go in and out of Lori's room. Also, Lori would be all like angry at you guys for not following her rules if she escapes.

Lincoln: (to Lola) Yeah, I did say that. But we're here for a reason you know. Also, everything is fine and our parents are here. So there's no need to worry, Lola.

Lola: (to Lincoln; smile) You're right, Linky. But just in case, I should come with you, if that's alright with you.

Lincoln: (to Lola) Sure, Lola. Come along.

[Meanwhile, Lori has somehow already broken free of her rope bindings and is filing her nails.]

Lori: (wondering; to herself) Hmmm. I wonder how my siblings are doing? Especially Lincoln. (sigh) You know, I think I feel bad for them. I mean, they are gonna destroyed the house, but they only just wanted their freedom back. And I was only trying to make sure that things are alright in the house whenever Mom and Dad are out.

(While thinking about what she was doing, her bedroom door open and she notice that it was her siblings, who were surprise that Lori just free herself from being tied to the chair.)

Leni: (to Lori; surprise) Whoa, Lori! You just free yourself! How you did that?

Lori: (to Leni; holding a filer) A girl has her own ways. So anyway, what happened?

Leni: (to Lori) Oh yeah. What happen is that after we put you in your room, Lincoln allowed us to do whatever we want, until we got a little carry away, which involves messing up the house, causing to injure Lincoln, realizing our mistakes, clean up the...

Luna: (to Leni; cuts her off) Okay, Leni. We don't need to give her that much of information.

Leni: (to Luna; rubs her neck) Oh. Sorry about that. Lori does what to know what happen after all.

Luan: (to Leni) That's true, Leni. (to Lori) So anyway, Lori. What happen is that Lincoln had everything controlled after we put him in charge of the house.

Lynn: (to Lori) At first, it was all good. Until, we kinda went overboard with our freedom. But we didn't notice this because we were busy with our free time.

Lucy: (to Lori) While we were having fun, Luna accidentally blasted Lincoln, who was trying to stop us, into the wall, which cause him to get injured badly.

Lola: (to her siblings except Lori; shocked) Whoa! Did that really happen?

Lana: (to Lola) Yes it did, Lola. (to Lori) When we notice this, we stop what we're doing doing and go aid him. He then told us that we were being careless because of what we were doing during our freedom.

Luna: (to Lori) We realized this and apologize to him saying that we didn't mean to go overboard. But it just that we have been following your rules for so long, that we couldn't have our freedom. After that, Lincoln accepted our apology, stating that we do what we want, but not that much.

Lisa: (to Lori) After that, we cleaned up the house until Mom and Dad came back. Also, Lincoln lead Cliff to the litterbox. So, all in all, Lincoln had everything control.

Lily: (babbles in agreement)

Lori: (surprised) Whoa! That was, interesting. (incredulous) But I don't believe that.

Lincoln: (to Lori) Then why don't you check out the house, Lori?

(Lori does so as she was shocked to see that the house looks nice and clean.)

Lori: (shocked) B-B-B-B-But, but how?!

Luna: (to Lori; starting to get mad) We told you. Lincoln had everything in charge. Also, he did this by being reasonable and respectful to us. After all, our bro here is the man with the plan. In this case, a plan to help us make us better.

Loud Sisters except Lori: (to Lori; starting to get mad) Yeah! / We've told you so, Lori! / Linc did it all by himself! / No thanks to you!

Lincoln: (to Lori; smirking a bit) So, Lori, what do you say now?

(Lori was still shocked about this, until she become downhearted.)

Lori: (to her siblings; sigh; downhearted) Guys, I'm sorry.

Loud Siblings except Lori: (confused) Huh?

Lori: (to her siblings; downhearted) I mean it. I sorry for being so dominant and authoritative, and never giving you any freedom. It just that I was only trying to keep the house from shambles, but I guess that all I did was took away all of your free time. I was so busy enjoying being the person in charge all the time that I never stop to think about what it truly means to be the oldest and in charge. I guess I'm not worthy or well-suited at all to become the person in charge. So, I decide to put Lincoln as the new person in charge.

Lincoln: (flattered by Lori's offer) Gee, thanks, Lori! But I'm not going to be in charge around here anymore.

Loud Sisters including Lori: (shocked) What!?

Lincoln: (to her siblings) Yes, I'm not. (to Lori) I'm actually giving the person in charge position back to you, Lori.

Lori: (to Lincoln; surprised) Wait, you are? (confused) But why?

Lincoln: (to Lori) Because even though you're dominant and authoritative and mean, you can learn a lot from me and your other siblings to be a better person, and a better older sibling to younger siblings. And besides, everyone makes mistakes, but they can always be fixed and realizing and learning.

Loud Sisters excluding Lori: (agreeing with Lincoln) I guess you're right. / You've made a good point there, bro. / That is true. / Totes! / Affirmative.

Lori: (tearfully; to Lincoln) You're right, Lincoln. I now understand the true meaning of being the older sibling and the one that's in charge. Thank you, Lincoln. And I promise I'll be a better and fair siblings to you and our other siblings.

Lincoln: (to Lori; smile) No problem, Lori.

(He goes up and hugs her, as she hugs him back. The rest of the siblings joined in the hug. Lincoln and his sisters were glad that Lori realize her error, and will always know that she will still love them.)

[The next day, Lincoln is playing video games, unaware that Lori's coming downstairs.]

Lincoln: (playing his video game) Take that, Eye-topus! (mashing buttons) Have a taste of my combo meal! (defeats it; Video Game Announcer shouting: "WINNER!") Woohoo!

(Lori was coming downstairs and saw Lincoln.)

Lori: (to Lincoln; off-screen) Hi, Lincoln!

Lincoln: (notice Lori; pause the game) Oh! Hey, Lori!

Lori: (to Lincoln) I'm sorry if I'm bothering you for a moment. It just that I wanna thank you for helping me realizing my error, as well as to say that I'm proud of you that you can handle the job of being in charge great.

Lincoln: (to Lori; smile) No problem, Lori!

Lori: (to Lincoln; hiding her hands behind her back) And another thing, Lincoln. Is it alright with you if I join playing video games with you?

Lincoln: (to Lori; surprise) Whoa! Really? But why's that?

Lori: (to Lincoln; shy) Well, I literally don't have much to do anyway except spending time with my little brother.

Lincoln: (to Lori; handing her one of the controllers) Sure, the more the merrier!

Lori: (to Lincoln; takes the controller; sit next to him.) Thanks, Lincoln!

(The two begin to play. While playing Lori beat Lincoln.)

Lincoln: (shocked; to Lori) Whoa! You beat me!?

Lori: (to Lincoln; smirks) You're not the only person here who plays video games, little bro!

Lincoln: (to Lori) Well played, Lori. But that's two out of three. Let's keep playing.

(As Lincoln was setting up the next round, Lori turns to the audience.)

Lori: (to the audience; sigh happy) I'm glad that things are back to normal. And I learn my lesson that even though I'm the oldest sibling of my family, I shouldn't be too horrible to my family. And I also learn that I can learn alot from my other siblings to be a better person.

Lincoln: (to Lori) Hey, Lori. You better hurry up, cause I'm beating you.

(Lori picks up the controller and continues playing with Lincoln, as brother and sister.)

THE END