Scales of Justice/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Scales of Justice".

Script
[The episode starts at the lake at Tall Timbers Park, where Lana and Hops are visiting their fish friends] Lana: "Hey, Mrs. Fishman. Didn't we talk about you staying off your feet until the babies are born? You should be relaxing, in your new kelp bed!" [Gives the Fishmans said kelp bed, and then remembers something] "Oh, almost forgot, gotta update my sign." [Goes over to said sign, that reads 'Fishmans Pond population 2'] "'Fishmans Pond population...'" [realizes] "Wait, how many little ones are you having again?" [The Fishmans submerge, and Lana looks into the water to count their eggs, but decides on something else] "Uh, let's just round it off to a hundred." [using her muddy finger as a pen] "So that makes, a hundred and two. Royal Woods is a great place for big families. You guys are gonna be really happy here." ''[Just then, a bulldozer comes by and it splashes Lana and Hops in mud. Lana turns around and sees the bulldozer]'' Lana: [stern] "Hey! What's your problem, pal?!" Worker: "Beat it, kid. This land got sold to The Mustard Warehouse. They're building a new store here. I got orders to fill in this pond today." Lana: "You can't do that! This is the Fishmans' home." Worker: "Look, if they got a problem, they can call a lawyer." Lana: "They can't use the phone." [The Fishmans look sad] Worker: [laughs] "Aww, come on, kid. No one cares about a couple of fish. Put 'em in a tank or something." Lana: "If I move the parents, I'd have to move their eggs, and they could die." Worker: "What can I tell ya, kid? There's plenty of other fish in the sea." [chuckles] "Now move." [goes back to his bulldozer] Lana: [starts to get worried then gets an idea] "Wait, buddy! Your shoe's untied!" Worker: "Huh?" [sees that his shoe really is untied] "Oh, yeah." [starts to tie his shoe] Lana: [to Hops] "Hops, bolt removal." [Hops snags the bolts with his tongue, and spins himself to undo the bolts] Worker: "Under, around, and through. Meet Mr. Bunny Rabbit, pull, and through." [gets back on his bulldozer, only for it to fall apart] "Oh, for crying into your pub cheese soup!" [growls] "I'll deal with this tomorrow." [leaves] Lana: "Good job, Hops. That'll buy us a little time to figure out a plan." ''[gives a thumbs up to the Fishmans. Just then, Hops lets out a burp]'' "Hops, diesel breath."

''[The Loud House. Muddy footprints are seen on the walkway and into the entrance. Lana walks into the kitchen, still covered in mud. Rita and Lynn Sr. take notice of this.]'' Rita: [stern] "Lana, muddy shoes!" Lynn Sr.: [also stern] "And pants, and shirt, and hat!" Lana: "No time to change, I've got a crisis on my hands." ''[Lynn Sr. puts oven mitts on Rita's hands, then takes out a garbage bag. They walk over and Rita puts Lana in the bag and sets her down while they're conversing.]'' Lana: "The Fishmans are getting kicked out of their home." Lynn Sr.: "Have they tried calling a lawyer?" Lana: "They're fish! And they live in the pond at Tall Timbers Park, but now some jerks wanna pave paradise and-" Luna: [Walks into the kitchen and cuts Lana off] "Put up a parking lot?" Lana: "No, a mustard warehouse." Luna: [Taking a box of apple juice out of the fridge] "Well the mustard warehouse, probably will have a parking lot." [Lana rolls her eyes, and Luna leaves] Lana: "I can't just stand by and watch this happen!" Rita: "Lynn, I think we may have a little activist in our hands." Lynn Sr.: "You know, we might be able to help, hon. Your mother and I were quite the activists in our day, we rallied for a ton of good causes. Rita: "Equal pay for women, reduction in carbon emissions." Lynn Sr.: "The freedom to wear puka shell chokers in the workplace, you know, all the big stuff." Lana: "Great. So, what do I need to do?" Rita: "Well, I think your best bet would be to draw up a petition." Lana: "Okay, cool." [Realizing that she has no idea what a petition is] "What's a petition?" Lynn Sr.: "Well, you go door to door collecting as many signatures as you can, you'll also need phone numbers, home addresses, and emails." [Just hearing that exhausts Lana] Rita: "You'll need the signatures of half of the people in town, which would be about, mmh, ten thousand." Lana: "Ten thousand? Is that even a real number?" [her parents nod] "Okay, fine. And then the construction will stop?" Lynn Sr.: "No. It'll just be delayed while they call a public hearing." Rita: "Now, at the hearing, there has to be... " [Just then, a trumpet playing dubs over her and Lynn Sr.'s voices, which is kinda similar to what you hear when the adults in Peanuts are talking]

[Later, in the upstairs hallway, Lana hops up the stairs, still in the bag] Lana: "Boy, ten thousand signatures? This is gonna be a long day. Hops, we better pee before we go." [hops into the bathroom, where Leni, who is fixing her eyebrows, sees Lana's reflection in the mirror, and freaks out] Leni: "Aah! Monster!" Lana: [Not realizing that Leni means her] "Cool, where?" [Leni runs passed Lana and out of the bathroom, screaming, and runs right into Luna & Luan's bedroom door, and continues screaming as she runs into her own bedroom door, then Lynn & Lucy's, then down the stairs, and stops screaming when she runs into something, again] Leni: "I'm never going in that bathroom again!" [Lana hops up onto the step ladder to take a look at her own reflection] Lana: [Getting an idea] "You know Hops, maybe there's an easier way to save the Fishmans." [Hops says something] "You're right, we should still pee anyway." [Hops over to the toilet, and Hops, using his tongue, closes the door for her.] ''[Later, she grabs a helmet out of the attic, has Hops snag a white sheet from Lisa's experiment, which reveals that Lisa was working on a real monster, afterwards, Lana and Hops are in the woods, Hops rallying together his forest friends, who all raise their various appendages, ready to rescue the Fishmans. Later, the construction worker from the previous day is finishing the repairs on the bulldozer, he starts to climb in, but looks when he hears splashing, he doesn't see anything so he climbs into the dozer and starts it up, when suddenly, something jumps onto his hood, a swamp monster it seems to be, the monster growls at the worker]'' Worker: "Aah! Cheese and rice!" ''[He keeps screaming as he puts the bulldozer in reverse, which causes the monster to fall off, but the bulldozer falls in a hole, the worker climbs out and the monster continues growling. The worker pulls out his phone and takes a picture]'' "They're never gonna believe me! I'm outta here!" [Runs for it.] [Once he's out of sight, the monster is revealed to be Lana, Hops, and all their forest friends, the Fishmans come out of the water with glee, and wink at them]

[Later, Lana returns home where Rita, Leni and Lynn Sr. are watching the news, Rita calls her attention] Rita: "Hey, honey, come check this out. They're talking about your pond." Katherine Mulligan: "Katherine Mulligan coming to you live from Tall Timbers Park. I'm here with a construction worker who claims to have seen a legend swamp monster."