Thread:MrTyeDye/@comment-30953185-20171122153905/@comment-32202721-20171122180135

The first half is pretty funny. The second half is just Leni and your self-insert going gaga over each other. It's just transparent wish fulfillment.

I think you have potential as a fanfic writer, but your self-insert is weighing your work down. You need to focus less on making your fantasies come true and more on just writing a good story.