Thread:TheMaximumMatt/@comment-30953185-20180311062730/@comment-32807753-20180315044035

A Soft Touch - On top of being a ripoff of No Laughing Matter, I feel like Lynn's motivation for being depressed was incredibly weak. I made the kid way too unlikable for the audience to believe Lynn's actions were too far, and on top of that, the whole Lori and Luna arguing gag went no where.

New Look - The first half of this fanfiction seems fine actually, but then near the end, it all of the sudden turns into this weird cartoonish, unrealistic, fantastical big-lipped alligator moment... I don't even know what, and I don't I did a good enough job at transitioning to it at all. At least the humor is decent.