User blog:MrTyeDye/Fanfiction: Peeking Through the Fourth Wall (Episode 25)

`''[We open on the couch, where Lincoln is joined by all ten of his sisters. Luna, Lori and Lynn are on his right, while Lucy, the twins and Lisa are on his left, and Lucy is holding Lily in her lap. Luan and Leni are standing behind the couch, letting their arms hang over the side.]''

Lincoln: Hey, everyone! Welcome to another special episode of Peeking Through the Fourth Wall. Today, we'll be revisiting an author we haven't seen since... geez, Episode 3.

Lynn: Wait, the Polish guy who wrote a long fight scene between you and me?

Lincoln: Yeah, that one.

Lynn: I liked that guy. "Where is your imagination? Oh, I know, in trash!" [Laughs]

Lincoln: ...anyway, this is "Melancholinc" by FirstDrellSpectre.

Lincoln was with Luan in her room.

''Luan: Funny Business Inc. has another client tomorrow. I need you as my assistant.''

Lincoln: Ok, did you consider my idea of expanding your performance with yo-yo tricks?

''Luan: Sorry, but that yo-yo is for good street performers, not for my serious business. [giggle] Get it?''

Lincoln: [Disappointed] Ok, what about ventriloquism?

Luan: I love this art, but this isn't popular nowadays.

Luan: [Now holding Mr. Coconuts] "You take that back, bucko!"

''Lincoln: Did you consider adding origami? You mastered this art, so you can add it to your performance.''

Luan: First of all, when did I master origami? Second of all, who ever heard of doing origami live?

[Beat]

Luan: Though I guess it's a good idea on paper...

[Everyone groans.]

''Luan: Listen, brother. Funny Business works well. I don't need your ideas, only assistance.''

''Lincoln: Fine. Have it your way.''

''Lincoln took all clown stuff and came with Luan to her client's birthday party. After they came back Luan was smiling, but Lincoln had half-closed eyes to express his disappointment.''

Luan: Another successful party!

''Lincoln: You were wonderful. [envious] Again.''

Lori: Geez, he's taking that rejection a little hard. Was he really that proud of his live origami idea?

''Luan: You were a very good assistant. Here is your cake.''

Lincoln: Thanks, but I don't have an appetite.

He came into his room and tried to read a comic, but Leni entered his room and grabbed his arm.

Leni: Hey, Lincoln, I need your help.

Lincoln: Rude much? If you want to ask me to do something, I'd appreciate it if you kept your hands to yourself and said "please".

Lincoln: In designing or choosing fabric or maybe for inspiration?

Leni: Oh, no. I just need you as a model.

Lynn: [Snickers] Yeah, okay.

Lincoln: What's that supposed to mean?

[Lynn sighs and puts her arm around Lincoln.]

Lynn: Lincoln, you know I love you. Very, very much. You're bright and capable and talented in plenty of different ways. But a model, you are not.

Lincoln: [clothed in unfinished dress] You said model, not mannequin.

Leni: I never notice a difference.

Lincoln: Wait, why did she want me to be her mannequin? Why not Lori? She's closer to Leni's size.

[Lincoln looks at Leni and Lori obliquely.]

Lincoln: ...and shape.

Lincoln: How about adding stripes to this dress?

''Leni: Are you kidding? They would make the wearer look fatter.''

Leni: Not necessarily. In some cases, stripes can even make you look slimmer - depending on how thick they are, and whether they're horizontal or vertical.

Lincoln: What about checkers?

Leni: Old-fashioned.

Lincoln: What about...

''Leni: Lincoln, please. It's nice you want to help, but I know what I'm doing. As you have no sense of fashion, let me deal with it.''

Luna: Sheesh. A little blunt there, Leni, wouldn't you say?

Lola: She's not wrong, though. I mean, he wears the same thing every single day.

Lincoln: So do the rest of you!

[The Loud sisters all look down at themselves.]

Lucy: Gasp. He's right.

Lynn: How long have I been wearing this jersey for?

Later Lincoln returned to his room, removed trousers and began reading a comic.

Lincoln: [to the audience] I suggested Leni some changes to her dress but she rejected them all and said Im not the fashion expert so I should stay quiet.

Lisa: We know. We saw.

''Lincoln: It was bit cold of her. I hope reading comic will help me forget about it. [after some time] In this issue Ace Savvy's enemy said he committed his crimes, because he lived in shadow of his older brother. Strange that I can feel sympathy for him.''

Lincoln: Oh, boy. Don't even get me started on that comic.

Lana: What comic?

Lincoln: He's clearly referring to All Star Ace Savvy & One-Eyed Jack #3, since that was the issue where we got to learn about the Suicide King's backstory, and how his dissatisfaction with being a sidekick to his older brother led to him turning to evil. Not only has this kind of plot been done a gazillion times before, but the way it was executed completely ruined the Suicide King's character. I mean, up to that point he was a tragic figure whose dialogue suggested that he hated crime but had no other choice if he wanted to make ends meet. Now he's just some whiny manchild who was jealous of his brother hogging the spotlight? Not to mention the art looks like mangled dog-

[Lori clamps a hand over Lincoln's mouth.]

Lori: Hey, Lana? The next time Lincoln says "don't get me started", do me a favor and don't get him started.

Lana: Yes, ma'am.

Lisa entered Lincoln's room.

''Lisa: Hello, Lincoln. I need your assistance in an experiment. Only you are smart enough.''

Lori: What do you mean, only Lincoln is smart enough?! Is she calling me dumb?!

Lincoln: Are you calling me dumb?!

Lori: Are you calling me dumb?!

Luna: Guys, guys, cool it! Nobody in this family is dumb.

[Luna sneaks a glance at Leni.]

Luna: Almost nobody.

Leni: Hey!

Lincoln: Fine, so be it.

Lisa: Put on your emergency suit first.

''Lincoln and Lisa went into her lab. A few hours later he left.''

Lincoln: [to the audience] I was giving Lisa the proper test tubes.

Lana: So Lincoln was the only one smart enough to... hand him test tubes? Anyone could do that. Lily could do that.

Lily: Poo poo!

''Lincoln: Every time I tried to guess which one I received answer "wrong". After several times she told me, faithfully quoting, [imitating Lisa] "You think you are smart enough to guess what I need, but you only delude yourself. I am the genius when you are just my assistant."''

Lincoln: What's that about?! I thought she picked me specifically because I was the only one smart enough!

''Lincoln was sitting in the dining room and assembling a starship model. Suddenly Lynn approached him with her new trophy.''

''Lynn: Yahoo! Look what I have won!''

Lincoln: [dishonestly] Congratulations.

Lynn: I'll make a party to celebrate it.

Lincoln: Then celebrate it without me.

Lola: Does nobody in this story have any manners?

Lynn: And if I threw a party every time I brought home an award, I'd be partying every other week.

Lynn: You will come too.

Lola: I'll take that as a "yes".

''Lincoln: You won multiple times, that's no difference. Leave me alone.''

''Lynn: You're just jealous because you are no match for me. You can't even dream about it!''

Lincoln: God, what a jerk! Does she really think I'd want to come to her party after that?

Lisa: In all fairness, this Lynn doesn't seem to care whether or not you want to go anyway.

Lincoln: Tell me something I don't know!

Lynn: You shall be happy from my success!

Lincoln: I am never happy!

Lori: Never?!

Lana: This really doesn't sound like Lincoln. He's a happy boy.

Lola: One of the happiest!

[Lola and Lana crawl over to Lincoln and start bouncing on his lap.]

Lola and Lana: [Singing] Happy happy Lincoln, his skies are never grey! Happy happy Lincoln, he brightens up my day! HEY!

[Lola and Lana each kiss Lincoln on the cheek and crawl back to their seats.]

Lincoln: Very cute, you two. When did you come up with that?

Lana: Just now.

Lola: We improvised it.

Lincoln: ...how?

Lola: We're twins.

''Lynn: And I thought Lucy was the biggest complainer. Go to your room and prepare yourself.''

Lucy: Complain? I hardly ever complain. And when I do, you never listen.

[Beat]

Lincoln: Did anyone else hear something just now?

''Lincoln took a look at Lynn's newest award that she just put in the trophy case. Then he saw his only one small trophy.''

Lola: Just one? But you have two now.

Lincoln: I think this story was written before that.

He felt sad, because he knew that wasn't the real trophy and it reminded him the pain and sorrow he experienced, because of his envy.

-Chapter 1 - Becoming an Emo-

Lincoln: Oh, dear lord, no...

Lynn: So he's gonna start acting like Lucy?

Lucy: I am not an emo. I'm a goth. There's a difference.

Lynn: Which is...?

Lucy: Goths are stoic and aloof. Emos wallow in anger and despair.

Lincoln came into his room, slammed the door and sat in his chair.

Lincoln: [to the audience] Living in the shadow of one sister is bad enough, but being overshadowed by 10 of them is a nightmare.

Lori: Is that really how you feel, Lincoln? Overshadowed?

Lincoln: Well... sometimes, I guess. How could I not be? You've all accomplished such incredible things. Well, except Lily, but her time will come, I'm sure.

Lily: Poo poo!

Luna: Lincoln, bro, there are seven billion people in the world. There's always gonna be someone who outshines you in one way or another. Stop comparing yourself to others and just live your life by your own standards.

[Luna puts her arm around Lincoln.]

Luna: Besides, you've got plenty to be proud of. You're the brother none of us would trade for anyone else.

''Lincoln: I have such bad luck to be me. Each of my sisters reminds me of who I am not. I feel so insignificant compared to them. I tried to earn some recognitions like them, I tried be like each of them, but I always failed. Let's face it. I am a ridiculously regular guy, so regular I can be hardly noticed like I were invisible. I feel like I was cursed to be always the worst at everything.''

Lori: You're not the worst at everything. Not even in this family.

Lynn: You can draw a heck of a lot better than I can, I'll tell you that.

Luan: And you're a way better baker than I am. Those strawberry muffins? Top notch.

Lisa: And your skill at those electronic combat simulators - street name "fighting games" - is far beyond anything I could hope to achieve.

[Lincoln smiles.]

''Lincoln was so depressed, that he began drawing black and white pictures. Most of them showed him in various sad poses. Then Lincoln listened to a sad song and felt even more depressed. Later he searched in internet for "sense of life" and suddenly found a certain article.''

''Lincoln: [to the audience] "Many children become emo to find their sense of life. They try to find purpose in their suffering. They express themselves through music, drawings, fashion and other kinds of art". Oh boy. I am emo!''

Lucy: Emos don't say "oh, boy".

''Lincoln: I feel so depressed, because I live in shadows of my sisters and I just expressed myself through drawings. I am the closest to this subculture so I'll be an emo living in constant sadness. After I failed to be like my sisters so many times, what else do I have to lose?''

Luan: Your sense of dignity?

''Lincoln left his room in black T-shirt, gray pants, black-and-white platform boots and long striped fingerless gloves. He heard his sisters were celebrating Lynn's victory in the living room. He decided to sneak out to skip it, but Leni noticed him and began calling him.''

''Leni: Hey, Lincoln! Where are you going? Join us!''

Lincoln: [coldly] No.

''Lynn: Oh, don't start it again! Come here! [she grabbed Lincoln and put him next to other sisters].''

Lincoln: [coldly] So I here I am and what's the difference?

Lynn: So this is how you got dressed to celebrate my victory?

Lincoln: What, did you want me to come down in a tuxedo?

Lincoln: I just read that I'm the closest to emo subculture, so now this will be my regular outfit.

Sisters: [hysterical laugh]

Lincoln: [sarcastically] I got used to this, come on, laugh until your throats are sore.

Luan: No way such a cheerful guy like you could be an emo.

Leni: You need 4 wheels to become a limo.

Lincoln: God, that's a stretch. Those two words barely sound alike.

Siblings sans Leni: [facepalm]

Luna: Not limo, but emo.

Lori: You have literally no reason to become a constantly grim sadness seeker complaining about everything.

Lisa: If I may, Lori... people who suffer from depression seldom need a "reason" behind it. It's a psychological disorder that can affect anyone, regardless of factors like socioeconomic status and geographic location.

Lori: Yes, but this Lincoln isn't suffering from depression. He decided to become an emo after reading one article on the internet.

Lincoln: Then you know nothing about me and about emo even less.

''Lynn: Stop it! You're ruining my party!''

''Lincoln: I'm simply not in the mood. Can you just leave me alone?''

''Lynn: Nobody leaves, while the party lasts. [she turned music on]''

Luan: [As Lynn] "You are all my prisoners for the next three hours. Anyone caught not getting turnt will face severe consequences."

''All sisters danced, but Lincoln was just sitting on the couch and thinking about how their joy was making him sad. After the party Lincoln yawned.''

''Lynn: Yeah! It was a cool way to celebrate my victory!''

Luna: You said it, sis!

Lucy: [pretended cheer] Hurray.

''Lincoln: You just reminded me how far I am from you. Can I go now? I was going to dye my hair.''

''Leni: I like your white hair. Why would you change them?''

Lincoln: Were you just not listening to anything I said in the past few lines?

''Lincoln: They don't reflect my true self. I am not the same Lincoln you thought you knew. From now I won't be silent about problems.''

Lori: Why are you complaining instead of enjoying Lynn's victory with us?

Lincoln: I just told you a dozen times. Is everyone in this story deaf?

Lincoln: Give me a reason why I should do this.

''Lori: She's your sister. You shall be happy from her successes.''

''Lincoln: I'm never happy! I am done with pretending I'm fine with that! I am not at all!''

''Lori: We have a great event to celebrate and be happy. Why only you can't feel it?!''

''Lincoln: I don't know. Oh, wait I do! Because unlike you I have not achieved anything to feel equal to you!''

''Lori: I literally don't get you at all. Take a walk and maybe you'll feel better.''

Lincoln: Finally!

Lori: Are none of us going to try to sit him down and talk to him?

Lisa: Given the attitudes we've demonstrated thus far, I doubt we'll be awfully sympathetic.

Luan: "Lincoln, I know you feel inferior to us... and that's because you are. We all have our roles to play in life, and you've been given the role of the loser who exists to make other people feel better about themselves. Sorry, but those are the breaks."

-Chapter 2 - Music of Sadness- ''Lincoln went into the Royal Woods Mall. There, he went in a cosmetic shop where he purchased a paint to dye his hair black and make up to have black eye shadow. He noticed a poster with an emo boy and decided to look more like him. He didn't need much paint, so he just took a free sample of green paint and then used it. In fashion shop he purchased a white belt and a scarf in white and black checker. He received a stick with violet broken heart gratis. He added all of this to his new wardrobe.''

Lori: I have a sinking feeling that most of this story is going to just be long descriptions of clothing.

Luna: How do you figure?

Lori: Let's just say I have a lot of experience reading stories by people who consider themselves "goth" and "emo".

''He was purposelessly walking through the mall, when suddenly he noticed a music shop and decided to come in. There he put headphones on his ears and began listening to sad songs. He closed his eyes and began tapping by his foot. Suddenly Tabby went into the music shop and noticed Lincoln.''

Luna: Oh, hey, Tabby! If anyone can set him straight, it's a peppy girl like her.

''Tabby: [in her head] Who is this guy? He looks familiar. [she approached Lincoln and patted his arm] Hey!''

''Lincoln: [shocked] Aaah! [he removed the headphones and turned around] What do you want from me?''

''Tabby: Calm down buddy... Wait, Lincoln, is that you?!''

Lincoln: Tabby, what a surprise.

''Tabby: What's this fashion? Are you trying to be a metal? It doesn't suit you.''

Luan: Maybe he's trying to be a metalloid! [Laughs and starts nudging Lisa] Get it? Get it, Lis'?

Lisa: That barely qualified as a joke. I'm not going to laugh at it just because it's tangentially related to science.

''Lincoln: Not a metal. I am emo.''

''Tabby: [shocked] You're kidding me. How a cheerful and nice guy can be such a saddo?''

''Lincoln: I am not this kind of guy. I realized I'm fated to live in eternal pain and all I can do is to express it.''

Lynn: See, that sounds like Lucy.

Lucy: For the last time, I'm not a...

...okay, that does kind of sound like me.

''Tabby: I can't believe it. Luna told me many good things about you. Now I feel like I'm talking to a stranger.''

''Lincoln: She herself doesn't know me. She's a future rocker and I am nobody significant. Because of the gap between our positions she lost a clear sight of me. The gap as big as between earth and sky.''

Luna: I think you're hyping us up too much, Linc. We're big fishes in a small pond. There are lots of people out there who make us look like jokes.

Lynn: Yeah. I learned that the hard way.

Lola: Me, too.

Tabby: The more you speak the less I understand.

''Lincoln: It's typical for an emo to not be understood by anybody. Nobody can comprehend my pain.''

Lana: Not even other emos?

''Tabby: What pain?! You are a brother of Luna and other wonderful sisters. You can't complain about anything!''

Luna: Geez Louise, Tabby. I know he's being a total doofus, but at least try to show a little tact.

''Lincoln: As usual the only child like you doesn't know how it is to be surrounded by those who overshadow you. Their very existence reminds me about the awesomeness I certainly lack. It's pointless to be who I can't possibly become. I can be only who I am, a boy fated to live in 10 shadows.''

''Tabby: [sad and disappointed] You're correct. Luna doesn't know you at all. You don't match the description she gave me.''

Lincoln: What did she tell you about me?

''Tabby: Doesn't matter! Because these all were lies! [she ran away crying]''

Luan: [As Tabby] "Everything is lies! EVERYTHING IS LIES!"

[Beat]

Lori: How?

Luan: Hmm?

Lori: How do you keep spouting off all of these esoteric references to movies and TV shows that were made years before you were even born?

Luan: What can I say? Pop culture's my forte.

Lincoln: [sarcastically] Now to list off my complaints. I can add this feeling of guilt.

-Chapter 3 - Not Recognizing the Best Friend-

''Lincoln came to Park Ketcham just to walk there without purpose. There he noticed Clyde playing with his two cats, so he approached him.''

Lynn: Do emos like cats?

Lucy: Everyone likes cats.

[Beat]

Lucy: And I don't want to meet the sad souls who don't.

Lincoln: Hey, Clyde.

''Clyde: Lincoln? Hello. [he turned around and got shocked] Aaah! What did you do to yourself?''

''Lincoln: This is the new real me. From now I am emo.''

''Clyde: I'm starting to be afraid of you. Why did you change your style?''

Lynn: You'd have to be pretty wimpy to be afraid of an emo.

Lori: I think Clyde fits the bill. No offense to him.

''Lincoln: For years I feel like nothing, but being generic compared to my sisters. I'm sick of it!''

Clyde: What will you do now?

''Lincoln: Emos express themselves through fashion, music and poetry. I am nowhere as good as Leni, Luna and Lucy in those first three so like most emos I simply express myself and don't expect anybody to understand me and my inner pain.''

Leni: What's the point of expressing yourself if no one will understand?

Lucy: Not all art has to have an audience. I've written plenty of poems that nobody will ever see.

Lola: "Nobody", huh? Hmm...

Lucy: If I catch you taking one peek they'll never find your body.

Lola: Eep!

''Clyde: Your new appearance is terrifying. Look how you scared Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti! I prefer the old Lincoln! Be yourself again!''

Lincoln: The problem is I myself don't know who I am.

Luan: Well, you're only eleven. You've got plenty of time to figure that out. Isn't that right, Linkin Logg?

Lincoln: [Facepalms] Please don't bring that up...

''Clyde: I don't understand you at all. You have all I can't have to be happy. 10 sisters, who care for you. Why is it that the only person who can't be happy about it is you?!''

''Lincoln: What can you know? You're the only child. I must compete for love and attention of my parents. You don't have siblings, so you don't have to compete with anybody.''

''Clyde: Stop It! In your position I would be happy and appreciate your sisters. You're so short-sighted if you think gender defines you.''

Lincoln: Gender? Who said anything about gender?

''Lincoln: I knew you wouldn't understand. It's not about gender anymore.''

Lincoln: My point exactly.

...wait, what do I mean by "anymore"? Even when I did feel inadequate, it wasn't because I was a boy. Although I do wish Lynn would get rid of that tacky "Boy Crusher" muscle tee.

Lynn: Can't. It was a birthday present from Margo. I don't want to hurt her feelings.

''Lincoln: It's about being nobody compared to them. All my sisters already perfected talents they inherited from my parents, when I am a talentless child with my parents' flaws. I can't be happy knowing this.''

''Clyde: [crying] My best friend is gone! I can't stand living without him. I hope your sisters will get this nonsense out of your head because I am done talking to you! [he took his kittens and left]''

-Chapter 4 - Too Dark even for Lucy-

Lucy: Try me.

Lincoln returned to his house for dinner.

Lori: How do you feel after your walk?

Lincoln: Hungry.

''Lori: Better than depressed for no reason. Hey, what's with those clothes?''

Lincoln: This is my new style.

''Lori: Whatever. Come for dinner.''

At the table his elder sisters were chatting and laughing when he simply ignored them and focused on his meal.

Lincoln: So my style was enough to make Clyde react with horror, but my sisters don't even comment on it?

Lucy: That, and this writer really doesn't seem to get emos. Emos don't close themselves off from the world; they wear their emotions on their sleeves. The word itself is short for "emotional".

''After dinner Lincoln quickly rushed to his room, where he put headphones on his ears and turned on a sad song. He also drew some black and white manga pictures of himself. Those pictures were sad and presented how bad he felt. Suddenly Lucy came into his room. Due to his great sadness he was unable to be afraid of Lucy.''

''Lucy: Hey, brother. I came to you for some rhymes for the words "borrow" and "fame".''

Lucy: Sorrow.

Lori: Tomorrow.

Lisa: Mount Kilimanjaro.

Luan: Fargo!

Lynn: Margo!

[Francisco Pizarro!]

Lucy: As for "fame", well, there's "claim" -

Lana: And blame!

Lola: Name and shame!

Leni: Take aim!

Luna: Light a flame!

Lincoln: Play a video game!

Lucy: Hang a frame.

Luna: Court a... dame?

Lynn: This is getting kinda lame.

Lori: Let's go back to the story.

Lincoln: Yeah, good idea, Lori.

Lori: Stop it, Lincoln! We're done!

Lana: Oh, stop ruining our fun!

Lori: Dear God, not you too!

Lola: What's the matter with you?!

Lynn: [To Lincoln] YOUR SHIRT IS ORANGE!

[Everyone else goes silent.]

Lynn: There. Knew that would work.

Luan: Just like a door...hinge?

[Lynn slaps Luan hard.]

Lincoln: Sorrow and pain.

''Lucy: Thanks. Wow! I like your new drawings. They are a completely different style and you don't bother to use annoying colorful crayons.''

''Lincoln: Colors would distract the viewer from the messages put in the drawings. I simply express my inner pain by simple colors.''

''Lucy: I like the new you, but how can you possibly suffer? Why did you decide to become an emo?''

Luna: Everyone suffers. It's a part of life. That's what the Buddhists say, anyway. They call it "dukkha".

Lisa: I'm impressed, Luna. I didn't know you had such an interest in Eastern religion. What brought this on?

Luna: Eh, Mick Swagger once did a concept album about Ancient China and one thing lead to another.

Lisa: Ah. Naturally.

''Lincoln: Isn't it obvious? Compared to you and other sisters I am nobody. I'm done with trying to be better than any of you as I always fail and cause troubles I regret for long. I got tired of accumulating this pain of inferiority, so now I express it in every way I can.''

Lucy: But what happened to your never give up attitude?

Lincoln: I'm giving up this time.

Lori: ...because Luan didn't want to do origami and Lynn won another trophy? That's what caused you to lose hope?

''Lincoln: It will be better for everybody. I just have to accept I am fated to live in 10 shadows. If there was one person that overshadows me it wouldn't be that bad, but there are 10. This is too much for me to endure.''

Lana: You know, he keeps saying ten, but how does Lily overshadow him?

Luna: Well, she did win her first trophy before him.

Lily: To-fy! To-fy!

Lincoln: Okay, but she won it in thumbsucking. If they give out trophies for that, where's my trophy for beating Muscle Fish 3: The Fishening without using a continue?

''Lucy: I can't believe what I've just heard. You've changed for the worse! You decided for self-pitying. I don't know who you are, but surely not the Lincoln I remember. I thought I would like the new Lincoln. I'm revoking this. [she left]''

Lynn: Wow, harsh much? All he did was turn into another you.

Lucy: First of all, he didn't. I'm gloomy, but I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself all the time.

More importantly, I don't want another me. I want Lincoln. His unending hope for the future inspires me. He reminds me that the world we live in has worth. I love the darkness, but without a little bit of light, I'd lose my way.

[Lucy hugs Lincoln.]

Lincoln: Awww...

-Chapter 5 - Making a Clown Cry-

Luan: Looks like I'm next!

''Next day Lincoln was watching a black and white drama film in television. Luan approached him, turning it off.''

Lincoln: I was watching this.

Luan: Hey, I know some jokes that will improve your humor.

Lori: Converting an emo by telling lame jokes? That'd be a first.

''Lincoln: Save it! I know what's the biggest joke. My life.''

Luan: [annoyed] You didn't even hear my jokes.

After saying some jokes Luan was the only one laughing.

Lori: So just business as usual, except this time Lincoln's wearing black eyeliner.

Luan: Hey! Lincoln likes my jokes! Right, Lincoln?

[Beat]

Luan: On second thought, don't answer that.

''Lincoln: I told you they won't move me. I'm going on a walk.''

''Luan: You didn't even giggle. If I make jokes that will make a grim guy like you laugh, then I'll know they are perfect. I won't rest till I succeed.''

Lincoln: In your position I would give up just like I gave up trying to be better than you or any sister.

Luan: What are you talking about?

''Lincoln: I deluded myself into thinking I was a comedy expert better than you. It was my grave mistake.''

Lynn: Should've just humored him and gone with the origami, Luan.

''Luan: But you learned from this to not be a narcissistic jerk stealing spot light. I forgave you already!''

Lynn: Oh, never mind. He's talking about something else.

Lincoln: Yeah, I got some big laughs working as Luan's assistant, and I kind of got bigheaded over it. We made up, though.

''Lincoln: I learnt that it's pointless trying to be special, because no matter what I try I always fail. I just wanted to be special, but since it's impossible all I have left is self-pity. I am alone with my pain as nobody can possibly understand me.''

Lana: Wait a second. Didn't Lucy come to him asking for poetry rhymes? And she said that she really liked his drawings! So how can he say that he has no talent when he's talented at those?!

''Luan: [crying] You've just killed all the joy in me! This is your special talent! Now I can't even make a simple joke! [she left]''

-Chapter 6 - Meeting Other Emo-

''Lincoln went on another walk. In Park Ketchum he sat on bench and stared at sky. He compared clouds to various sad things. Unbeknownst to him he was observed by another emo, Maggie.''

Luna: Who?

Luan: Oh, Maggie. She was one of my Funny Business clients. Lincoln and I put on a show for her thirteenth birthday.

Luna: Ah. Friend of yours?

Luan: I guess. We don't see each other often but sometimes I'll message her just to ask how she is.

Lola: You two should date!

Luan: Wha?!

She approached him and sat next to him, but she didn't recognize him.

''Maggie: I've never seen you before. You must be new in the city.''

''Lincoln: I'm Lincoln and I'm local. Wait, your voice sounds familiar.''

''Maggie: I know every emo boy in the city. I would have known you too, if you were local.''

Lincoln: [he looked in Maggie's eyes and gasped] I never expected to meet you again.

Maggie: Wait, I remember you, but where have we met before?

Lincoln: [nervously] Then I was wearing a clown outfit and later a mime outfit.

Maggie: [angry] You destroyed my 13th birthday!

Lincoln: No, I almost destroyed your thirteenth birthday. There's a difference.

Lana: What happened?

Lincoln: Well, I tried to entertain her solo, but all I really knew how to do at that point was fall on my butt. Thankfully Luan came in to bail me out.

Luan: And you held up pretty well as my fellow mime!

Lincoln: I'm sorry, I didn't intend to.

''Maggie: [sarcastically] You failed to be a clown and now you try to be an emo? What a lame excuse.''

''Lincoln: You don't know even ten percent of the whole truth! So stop your sarcasm, Maggie!''

''Maggie: [angry] Hey! Only friends have right to call me that! My name is Margaret for strangers like you!''

Lincoln: Well, then, Margaret, I have lot of reasons to be emo.

''Maggie: Seriously? What is it? For now you look like a simple poser.''

''Lincoln: The one who saved your birthday from catastrophe I caused was my sister. I deluded myself into thinking I was better than her and failed spectacularly. It also reminded me how bad I am.''

''Maggie: So you feel eclipsed by your sister. Don't you think it's a lame reason to be emo?''

''Lincoln: If only by one. I have 10 sisters and I've always been the worst sibling!''

Lincoln: Oh, come on! By what metric am I the "worst"?

Lori: By literally none. None of us are the "worst". This isn't a competition.

Maggie: You're bluffing.

''Lincoln: No, I'm telling the truth. [he took family photo from his wallet and showed this to Maggie] Here is the proof.''

Maggie: [shocked] Now you surprised me.

''Lincoln: Knowing that I am nobody compared to my 10 sisters, I can only live with my inner suffering and express it. After so many failures to change it I gave up trying to avoid more failures. It's really depressing to be the black sheep in the family. I am a talentless boy among talented girls. How can I not feel like a genetic failure? All was decided by chromosomes. Only I have chromosomes XY instead of XX.''

Lola: So you think you'd be more talented if you were a girl? That doesn't make any sense.

Lisa: I concur. Though there are significant differences between the genders due to sexual dimorphism, the capacity for "talent" - a nebulous concept in itself - is not one of them. Besides, following the same line of logic, one could argue that my intelligence would have been diminished had I been born male...

[Suddenly, after a jump cut, Lincoln and his ten sisters are replaced by Linka and her ten brothers.]

Levi: ...which no credible scientist would believe. There is no evidence to suggest that gender alone has any effect on brain capacity.

Linka: You know, I've always wondered what a boy version of me would be like.

Loni: I hope he'd be just as good as making strawberry muffins!

Leif: Pfft. Get real, Loni. Baking's for girls.

Lexx: Hey! I bake!

Leif: Fine, it's for girls and girly little sissy boys like you!

Lexx: Why, I oughta-!

''[Lexx tackles Leif to the floor and the two get into a fight. After another jump cut, we go back to Lincoln and his sisters, while Lola and Lana are engaged in a similar scuffle.]''

''A tiny missing leg caused me to be different and flawed for whole my life. Evolution went wrong when decided to divide humanity on two genders, causing nothing but conflicts, differences, inequality and discrimination.''

''Maggie: Wow! What a monologue. This changes everything. Compared to my pointlessness of 7th grade your situation is much worse.''

Lincoln: What's so bad in 7th grade?

Maggie: You're forced to learn many useless things, all schoolmates judge your look, your old friends get drunk with popularity and ignore you, and your body undergoes a painful metamorphosis.

[By now, Lola and Lana have stopped fighting and returned to their seats.]

Lynn: Speaking as an Eighth Grader... yeah, that's pretty much the size of it. 'Cept the part about friends. All of mine are pretty tight.

Lincoln: What about the "painful metamorphosis"?

Lynn: Stock up on Proactiv and get ready for some embarrassing voice cracks, is all I'll say.

Maggie: In short all what you knew vanishes and you don't know where you belong anymore.

''Lincoln: Story of my house life. No matter what I do I always fail spectacularly and my sisters enjoy reminding me this.''

Leni: Hey! So what if I like to pat myself on the back when I do well? I don't do it just to make you feel bad!

Lincoln: I was always the worst sibling as I am good at nothing and that's why I feel my life is pointless.

Lana: You can draw, you big, dumb idiot head!

[Everyone looks at Lana.]

Lana: ...sorry. That's just really bugging me. His talent's right there! Why can't he see it?

Lori: I really don't know. Let's just keep reading.

[Everyone turns back towards the screen.]

Luan: "Big, dumb idiot head"?

Lana: I'm only six! I don't know that many bad words yet!

''Maggie: Now I see you are not another naive and arrogant young fool I thought you were. You desperately seek your life purpose.''

''Lincoln: Life with no purpose is wasted. Being unable to change this I can only express my suffering through wearing proper clothes, drawing manga or simply speaking.''

''Maggie: You know what it means to be an emo. Being an outcast in school and in family is so painful. Compared to your reasons to become an emo mine are not such a big deal.''

Lincoln: What do emos do to feel better?

''Maggie: Emo meet and express their misery to each other. Some feel catharsis after this.''

Luna: So just one big pity party, then?

Lucy: If you want to call it that, sure.

''Lincoln: I finally found someone, who could listen to me and at least partially understand me. Now I feel bit better thanks to you, Margaret.''

''Maggie: If you wish to feel truly emo, then take this. [she gave Lincoln a card and left]''

''Lincoln: Tears of Sorrow, an emo club. This can be interesting.''

''Maggie: I am inviting you to my world and I wish you to accept this. It will be a change to listen to a fresh emo boy.''

Lincoln returned home and was greeted by his sisters without enthusiasm.

Lori: How do you feel after another walk?

''Lincoln: Bit better. I met a new friend, another emo.''

Lori: [facepalm] Ugh, I hoped you'd literally end with this nonsense.

''Lincoln: Why should I do this? And don't call my new style nonsense! Emo is who I really am.''

''Luan: This joke will make you smile. What's black, white and green? That's you! [giggle]''

Luan: That... how is that even a joke? If those were the kinds of jokes I was telling before, it's no wonder he didn't laugh!

Lincoln: This isn't funny at all.

Luan: Why so serious?

Lincoln: The world isn't funny, but cruel and full of misery.

''Luan: I won't rest till I make a joke that will put a smile on your face. A perfect joke is one that makes a saddo, oh sorry, an emo smile.''

''Lincoln: Say what you wish, I don't care. It's pointless to try to do an impossible thing.''

Lisa: Impossible is all until you make it possible by lot of efforts.

Lincoln: What do you know? Another quote I can get behind.

Impossible is all until you make it possible by a lot of efforts. - Lisa

''Lincoln: You can probably create a cure for a coryza, but you cannot possibly make change my mind. I know the fact I'm not meant to be special. You all are born special, so what can you know?''

''Lola: Stop babbling! You're insufferable! Mom, tell Lincoln to stop being an emo!''

''Rita: No. I accept who you all chose to be. Why should I treat Lincoln otherwise?''

Lincoln: Good afternoon, mom.

Rita: You became polite, son.

Lincoln: "Became"? I'm always polite!

Lori: Mom, do you even know what emo is?

Rita: I do, I even met some when I was young.

Luna: Was "emo" even a thing when Mom was our age?

Lori: Well, maybe they didn't call themselves emo, but they were around, I'd bet.

''Rita: They are polite and sensitive people. Lincoln may stay this way, as changing his style will help him develop his character.''

Rita left the sisters dissatisfied.

''Lola: I thought you were annoying, because of reading comics in your underwear. Now you annoy me even more with your senseless depression.''

Lisa: Calling depression "senseless" is like calling phobias "irrational". Their status as such is moot.

Lincoln: I accept you for who you are, so why I don't get the same from you in return?

''Lori: Let him be this way. Maybe he'll get tired of it.''

Lincoln was in his room making next manga drawings, when suddenly Luna came into his room.

''Luna: Dude, Tabby called me. Explain to me what you said to her that made her cry!''

Lincoln: More or less what I said earlier.

''Luna: You're unbelievable! Since you're an emo, you make others unhappy! Be yourself again.''

Lincoln: I am myself.

Lincoln: No, you're not. You're not me, I can tell you that.

Luna: The old self who loved reading comics and playing video games.

''Lincoln: [furiously] But I hate my old self! That's it!''

''Luna: [gasped] Huh? Stop this nonsense!''

''Lincoln: My whole life is a nonsense! I can't be happy knowing that I whatever I do I always screw up and make everything worse. Now all I can do is to accept being good at nothing and live with that. At least it's honest.''

Luna: [very sadly] Do you really think this about yourself?

Lola: Why are you surprised? He's been whining it at the top of his lungs since the story started.

Luna: You're in worse condition than I thought.

Lincoln: I made so many epic fails I lost faith in myself.

''Luna: Did you fall on your head? You sound like you don't know what you're talking about!''

Lucy: You know, I can't help but notice that none of you have tried cheering him up by telling him what is special about him.

Lincoln: Yeah, is it that hard to think of something?

''Lincoln: Maybe for the first time I know. Remind me if there is anything I didn't screw up.''

Luna: We all do mistakes, but they make us who we are especially if we learn from them.

Lincoln: I'll take that as a "yes".

''Lincoln: All I learned from my mistakes is that the best I can do is nothing at all or I'll ruin everything. I am ashamed of being a useless troublemaker and a talentless waste compared to all of you.''

Lincoln: Is this... is this really what the author thinks of me? That I'm just a worthless waste of space who isn't good at anything?

Lori: Either way, it doesn't matter. We know that you're not. You know that you're not.

''Luna: You sound like you can't feel happiness anymore. How is being emo going to help you? Everyone will keep avoiding you or pointing you out.''

''Lincoln: You think I don't know? I do, I just don't care because I got used to this.''

Luna: I just can't believe what I've heard.

''Lincoln: What did you expect by coming here? That an exchange of words will make me more acceptable to you?''

''Luna: I'm sorry that you have such low self-note, bro. You think grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I mean, you compare yourself to us and belittle yourself. You're so focused on us that you no longer think what you can do.''

Luna: That's exactly what I told you before!

''Lincoln: How can you know this even if I don't know myself? I feel hopeless and purposeless. Why do you even keep talking to me?''

''Luna: Because I care about you. I told you that for 13 years I didn't know who I wanted to be until I met Mick Swagger. If you want to find purpose in your life, you must keep seeking it. [she left]''

''Lincoln: [to the audience] I'll go to the emo club tomorrow. It can't hurt more than another day of my life.''

-Chapter 7 - Catharsis-

''Next day at the emo club Lincoln was talking with other emo tweens. They all were improvising sad haikus, listening to sad songs and drawing manga versions of themselves. One of them even played a sad melody on guitar. After the meeting Lincoln left the club in company of Maggie.''

''Lincoln: That was an interesting experience. I feel better now.''

Maggie: It's not about feeling better, but making others feel worse to inspire others.

Lori: What an ugly way to live your life. Is that really what being emo is all about?

Lucy: It's not.

''Lincoln: After hearing stories of others I feel I found my group. Misunderstood, ostracized and sensitive outcasts.''

''Maggie: We all share this suffering. Nobody gave us a more depressing story than you.''

Lori: Really? None of them had a life story sadder than Lincoln's?

Lincoln: How miserable does this story think I am?!

Lincoln: Is it good or bad?

''Maggie: We emos seek inspirations in sadness. Feel good for inspiring us to write new poems and songs.''

Lincoln: How about my manga drawings?

Maggie: An amateur's work, but meaning outmatches the form.

Lincoln: Oh, really? Why don't you tell Bill Buck how amateurish my drawings are?

Lori: Lincoln, this was written before-

Lincoln: I know, I know. But still.

Lincoln: Thanks.

Maggie: You shall come for our next meetings to fully embrace your new self.

Lincoln: I'll consider this.

''Suddenly Ronnie Anne was walking by and recognized Lincoln's voice. She was shocked on sight of him. Because he was standing next to Maggie she mistook it for a date. In rage she ran towards Lincoln.''

''Ronnie: Lincoln! You unfaithful jerk! [she slapped Lincoln]''

Lincoln: Oh, for the love of... another writer who thinks that Ronnie Anne is my girlfriend?!

''Lincoln: Ouch! It hurts! Ronnie Anne! What brings you there and what did I do to deserve such an insult?''

''Ronnie: Don't play an idiot! You changed style to date with this crow! [she punched Lincoln in the stomach]''

Luan: Well, it's a good thing you're not in a relationship. Because if you were, that'd be pretty abusive.

Lincoln: She wouldn't do that, though!

Lincoln: Ouch!

''Maggie: [she was angry and grabbed Ronnie's collar, lifting her] You, punk, have no right to bully us! Just because we are misunderstood, it doesn't mean we deserve to be tormented!''

''Lincoln: Margaret, wait! That's my friend!''

Ronnie: [crying] Speak for yourself!

''Maggie: An abusive friend. No wonder you're devastated and seek for another.''

Ronnie: If you don't want to be with me, then you'll be with nobody!

Luan: Again, if this is anything like how she treats you in real life, I'm glad you two aren't together.

Lincoln: It's not!...but we're still not together.

Maggie: You have no right to tell him what crowd he should join!

''Lincoln: I can speak for myself! And you, Ronnie Anne, shut up and listen! Margaret isn't my girlfriend! I've known her only for 2 days. Besides, she is 2 years older than me!''

''Maggie: [putting Ronnie Anne on ground] I just showed him a lifestyle of emo. Now if you excuse me, I'm leaving you two to solve it yourself. [she left]''

''Ronnie: Sorry for my rage! But why did you become an emo?''

Luan: [As Ronnie Anne] "Oh, hey, sorry for flipping out, beating you up and telling you that I'm entitled to have you as a boyfriend. That was my bad."

Lincoln: I decided to be an emo, because I realized my senseless life fits only this.

Ronnie: How can you say your life is senseless?

''Lincoln: I don't have to justify myself, but I'll tell you. I am tired of being overshadowed by my sisters. I tried to be special like them, but I always fail. I realized if nothing I do changes anything there is no sense in trying. No trying, no failure.''

''Ronnie: The failure is doing nothing, when you can do something. If you want your life to make sense then don't give up seeking on it.''

''Lincoln: Easy for you to say. You already know what's your sense of life. You wish to be a professional skateboarder, because you have your talents. I am talentless nobody.''

Lincoln: Since when? As far as I know, skateboarding is just a hobby for her, not a passion.

''Ronnie: Stop it! [she punched Lincoln in arm] Your low self note makes me sick. This is not your style and we both know this.''

''Lincoln: I am surprised you care so much about it. Why? I can't believe a tough girl like you would even notice me.''

''Ronnie: Because I like you for who you truly are, silly! A boy who doesn't give up no matter how bad his situation is.''

Lincoln: Awww. See, that's more like the Ronnie Anne I know.

[His sisters all smile at him.]

Lincoln: ...but she's still not my girlfriend!

Lincoln: I'm just student fascinated with video games and comics and now an emo subculture.

''Ronnie: I prefer the old you. I also like video games and I've admired you for long.''

''Lincoln: But I hate the old me. As an emo I have new emo companions who can at least partly understand me. My own sisters couldn't. All because they are too cool to understand a ridiculously average guy like me.''

''Ronnie: You sound ridiculous. Are you telling me this to have attention?''

''Lincoln: Emos express themselves, not expecting others to understand them. It's better than accumulating this pain within. It hurts, but can't hurt more than another day of my purposeless life. I don't expect you to understand me as well.''

''Ronnie: You keep saying your life is senseless. I learned a different philosophy. Everything makes sense only when you force it to. If words don't convince you, then I'll show you something that will change your mind.''

Ronnie Anne grabbed Lincoln's hand and brought him to a basketball playground, where all players were on wheelchairs.

Lynn: Oh, hey, wheelchair basketball! I've always wanted to try that.

Lana: Isn't that just basketball but lamer?

Lynn: No way! In some ways it's even more hardcore. Those players can get really rough. That, and they're crazy strong. I once saw one doing pull ups with his wheelchair attached to his legs! Even I've never done something like that!

[Beat]

Lynn: Then again, I've never tried, so who's to say?

''Lincoln: Do I see correctly? They are playing basketball despite the fact they can move only on wheels?''

''Ronnie: Exactly. They all played basketball regularly and one day an accident took their health permanently. They believed their career died before it even started. They all kept saying their lives lost sense and purpose. However somebody encouraged them that the world hasn't ended for them and they still can play basketball.''

''Lincoln: This is amazing! Regardless of their condition they do what they love.''

''Ronnie: They are crippled and don't want anybody to pity them. Their wheelchairs are adjusted to play basketball. They are happy despite their conditions, because they didn't give up their dreams.''

Lincoln: Really admirable.

Ronnie: Not so long ago I've known someone like them.

Lincoln: Who is this?

Lynn: Paula?

Ronnie: It's you, silly!

Lynn: Oh, right. Duh.

''Ronnie: No matter what happened to you, surrender was never an option you picked. I've admired you for this. I also admire my brother. He can't keep any of his jobs for long, but it doesn't stop him from trying to find a new one.''

Lincoln: Are trying to tell me that I also shall not give up despite my epic failures?

Ronnie: Unlike these basketballers you have healthy legs you can use.

Lynn: "Healthy" is pushing it. Sorry, chicken-legs, but you're pretty far off from having legs like these.

[Lynn pulls up her shorts and gives her thigh muscle a slap.]

Ronnie: You can be whoever you want, if you trust your instincts.

''Lincoln: My instincts are what got me into becoming an emo. I felt like I began finding sense of life.''

''Ronnie: Do you really think your path is to make others depressed, because you are depressed? Is this what you really want to do?''

''Lincoln: You don't know what it means to be emo. What you say is an oversimplification.''

Lucy: I don't think this author does, either. I'm not even part of that culture and I still feel the need to step in and correct him.

''Ronnie: You never wanted to be an emo. You wanted to be a detective or a video game tester or a comic book writer or an astronaut. These are way better than a dressed up nihilist, who can only complain.''

Lincoln: Astronaut? When did I ever say I wanted to be an astronaut?

Lana: Well, do you?

Lincoln: Not really. I've heard they have to wear diapers up in space.

[Lily's face brightens up.]

Lincoln: That doesn't automatically make you qualified.

[Lily loses her smile.]

Lily: Dannit...

''Lincoln: It's all because I just wanted to be special like my sisters, not an average boy overshadowed by them. Do you know how it is to be constantly compared to someone? To live in shadows of so many? I doubt that.''

''Ronnie: I don't, but I am certain that you shall not surrender, if you want to become someone special. You can make mistakes, but you can also learn from them and go further. [she grabbed the edges of a broken heart on Lincoln's shirt and put it to make it look like an unbroken heart] Without hope and self-confidence there is no future.''

Lincoln: [sigh] I kept comparing myself to my sisters and tried to copy their achievements so long I stopped looking for my own strengths.

''Ronnie: Nobody can be good at everything, but everyone is good at something and has only to discover it no matter how hard it is. If you don't like your current self, then do your best to improve yourself.''

''Lincoln: You're right and I won't achieve anything, if I accept being a failure. Thank you for opening my eyes.''

Ronnie: That's the Lincoln I know and admire.

''They gave each other a hug but later blushed realizing they just hugged. They went in their own separate ways.''

Sisters: Awwwww!

[Awwwww!]

Lincoln: Oh, shut up!

-Chapter 8 - Serious Talk with Sister- ''Lincoln: [to the audience] Now I know I'm not fit to be an emo after many important lessons in the recent days. It doesn't matter anymore. I don't regret my efforts as I tasted a new kind of life. Nobody defines who I am, but myself. I shall focus on my own strengths instead of the ones of others. Even if I try something new and it doesn't work out, I can still learn something worthwhile from it. In short I shouldn't stop improving myself.''

Lincoln: Well, that's a pretty good moral. I just don't think I was the one who had to learn it.

''Much to Lincoln's surprise Lori was driving the van and found him on street. She stopped next to him.''

''Lori: There you are twerp! I've been looking for you in literally the whole city!''

''Lincoln: Why didn't you just call me? Ah, yes. I left my phone at home.''

Lori: Don't stand there, come to the van!

Lincoln sat next to Lori and she put the car in motion so they could return home.

Lincoln: Why did you actually seek me?

''Lori: Because I was worried about you. Luna said you were going to meet more emos.''

Lincoln: So she heard I was going to meet more emos and she flew into a panic and started combing the city? What did she think they were going to do to me?

''Lori:You must stop it. They can literally drive you to such deep depression, that you might literally stop wanting to live.''

Lincoln: ...oh. That.

Lincoln: [to the audience] I'll pretend I'm still an emo to see what she would say.

Luan: [As Lori] "I heard that!"

Lincoln: [to Lori pretending to be sad] Why do you suddenly care?

Lori: Would you really rather hang out with those saddos instead of your sisters?

Lisa: Given the way we've treated him thus far, I'm not surprised he would.

''Lincoln: At least they don't make fun of me. They don't laugh from me and listen what I'm telling unlike you and other sisters.''

''Lori: Maybe we wouldn't, if you did more than just reading comics and playing video games. They lead you to hilarious hobbies.''

''Lincoln: Comics and video games were my methods of escaping from this cruel world, so I could for at least a moment not think about it. Do you think I like living like that?''

''Lori: I didn't know and I didn't bother to understand your feelings. For that I'm sorry. Truth is I was like you and laughed at you just to hide that you remind me my past self.''

Lori: ...come again?

''Lincoln: Don't you think it was cruel or hypocritical? How do I remind you?''

Lori: Carol Pingrey has been my rival since kindergarten; she was always better than me at everything I did.

Lori: Oh. Well, I thought that was the case, anyway. Now I know that she was just as jealous of me as I was of her.

''Lori: I felt overshadowed by her and didn't know what to do. Instead of speaking with you about it and trying to understand you I gave you more reasons to be sad. All because I felt better having someone worse than me around. It was cruel and literally nothing justifies it. For this I'm sorry.''

''Lincoln: Apologizing isn't enough. Like you once said actions speak louder than words.''

''Lori: I'll try at least to support you. I don't want you to suffer an inferiority complex as I did. We all feel overshadowed by Lisa's intelligence, as she keeps reminding us about it, so don't think you're alone in this.''

Lisa: Reminding you? By doing what, existing? I'm so sorry for not dumbing myself down for your benefit, but the last time I did that, the results were disastrous.

Lincoln: Um, in case you forgot, I was the one who got punished for that. They left me on the side of the road!

Lori: Oof. Sorry about that. Did you at least get to school okay?

Lincoln: Barely. I had to take a detour through Coyote Woods.

Lincoln: Then why did you never bother to tell me this?

''Lori: Because it's too embarrassing for me. It's not easy to speak about what makes you feel inferior.''

''Lincoln: All started from this. I can't help, but keep comparing myself to you, because you all did better than me.''

''Lori: Nobody can't be perfect at everything. Besides not everything you did was an epic failure. You're better than you think you are.''

Lincoln: Refresh my memory because I don't remember anything like that.

Lincoln: Ah, here we go...

''Lori: Don't forget it was you alone who found dirt against Lola, when she blackmailed us all. Earlier you found how she discovered our secrets. You also perfectly planned how to fool Pop Pop when you were covering for us all. Once you also found a job for me. You also planned how to change Mr. Grouse for Christmas. You also planned how to convince mom and dad to take us to the spa hotel. So stop belittling yourself and be the Lincoln we all know and love.''

Leni: Well, how about that? Looks like this writer does think pretty highly of you after all.

Lincoln: [Smiles] Yeah, I guess he does.

''Lincoln: I want you to know that I won't continue being an emo. Thanks to Ronnie Anne I learned that I shall not give up or pity myself because she showed me that even crippled people can make their dreams real and the ones I saw were playing basketball.''

Leni: Okay, like, I'm glad that you admire them, but you really shouldn't call them "crippled".

Lincoln: Noted.

Lori: You're so lucky to have such a girlfriend because she could help you when I couldn't. We're back home.

Lincoln: Ronnie Anne is not my girlfriend!

Lincoln: Thank you!

-Epilogue- ''Lori: [she opened the front door] Girls! Lincoln won't be Mr. Negative anymore. All thanks to Ronnie Anne.''

''Lynn: Good, one Lucy is enough. I wouldn't stand two pessimists.''

''Lucy: Please don't return to this. Only you can make me happy, so if you can't feel happiness, then what chance do I have?''

''Luna: I love you the way you are yourself, bro. [she hugged him] Don't change like that again or you'll break my heart.''

''Lynn: I can play with you only when you are optimistic like always. Nobody can play better with me than you.''

Lana: You are the only one who can play with all of us.

''Lincoln: Thanks, guys. At least thanks to changing scenery I learned that I can draw manga pretty nice.''

Lana: Finally.

''Lincoln: Maybe I'll be a mangaka one day, who knows? For now I have no more reasons to be depressed.''

''Luan: Dang it! I lost my joke tester!''

THE END

Lori: Well, that was... something.

Lynn: Lincoln, can you make me a promise?

Lincoln: Sure.

Lynn: I know sometimes you may feel... outclassed. Or inadequate. But please don't let it turn you into that. The last thing I want is some sad-sack downer who does nothing but gripe about how useless he is. And you're not useless.

Lincoln: Trust me, Lynn, you don't have to worry about that. That's not who I am at all. Though I do wonder if things would turn out differently if I were a girl...

[We cut back to Linka and her brothers.]

Linka: Eh, who can really say for sure? Let's just go to the Burpin' Burger.

Brothers: YEAH!

[All eleven of them get up from the couch and walk towards the van.]

Luke: They still have those southwestern-style chili dogs, right? I sure could go for one right now.

Lane: Oh, what a surprise! Luke's hungry for wieners! [Laugh]

Luke: [Groans] Walked right into that one... Lars: Can I get a spooky shake? Loki: Lars, they only serve those around Halloween. Lars: Yeah, but they have all the ingredients for a spooky shake. Loki: That doesn't mean they'll make it, dude. Lars: What if I threaten to put a hex on them if they don't? Loki: If you want to try that, be my guest. [As they pile into the van, they all start reciting the jingle.] Everyone: Hungry, y'all? Look no further! Come on down to Burpin' Burger! [We cut back to Lincoln and his sisters, who are also piling into the van.] Everyone: Grade B beef and special spice, when it comes back up it's twice as nice!

THE END