User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: The Fool Who Cried Foul (Prologue)

It's been a while, hasn't it? Anyway, I figured I'd take another crack at giving Luan some kind of standard, and what better way than with another Michigan Mystery? Yes, I've decided to make a little series out of this, and yes, one will be focused on the Casagrandes. I'm not sure what wiki I'm gonna be posting that in, but that's for another time. For now, I present to you:

Prologue: Week to Shine
“Alright, now watch carefully. Nothing up my sleeve…”

“Except for that bit of colored handkerchief.”

“Wh-what?! Where?!”

“Made you look!”

Ugh, dang it. I probably should’ve seen that one coming. This is what I get for trying to get advice from Luan of all people. But really, I’m not sure who else I could’ve gone to for this. I’m performing my first real magic act at our school talent show this week, and Luan does magic tricks all the time at her birthday parties. If I’m gonna impress people at this thing, I need her expertise. Which is why I wish she’d actually take this seriously.

“Okay, very funny, Luan,” I said dryly. “Now are you gonna help me or not?”

Luan took a moment to collect herself. “Sorry, Linc. Couldn’t resist. Please, continue.”

I just rolled my eyes and took out my ring box. After taking a deep breath, I opened it to reveal my special trick ring. Luan stared at the ring for a bit before giving me a look.

“And you’re saying you already tried this trick with Ronnie Anne,” she said blankly.

“Um, yeah. Why?” I asked.

“No reason,” said Luan, averting her gaze. She then gave me a sideways glance and a sly wink. I had to groan.

“I know what you’re thinking, and trust me, it’s not like that,” I said.

“Sure. Keep telling yourself that,” Luan said coyly.

I could tell she didn’t believe me, but I decided to drop the subject before it got too involved. I took a moment to compose myself before continuing with the trick.

“Now, behold~!”

As quick as a wink, I snapped the box close and opened it again. Sure enough, there were now two rings inside. Another snap, and there were three rings linked together. I could see Luan’s smarmy grin be replaced by a furrowed brow of interest and intrigue. With another snap of the box, I managed to separate the three trick rings. As far as I could tell, the trick was pulled off flawlessly.

“Ta-da~!”

Now, this was usually the point where I’d get either a round of applause or a pie thrown in my face, and I wasn’t sure which one was gonna happen. But instead of either of those outcomes, Luan simply nodded and stroked her chin.

“That’s actually pretty good,” she said. “You’ve really been practicing, huh?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” I said. “So, you think I’m ready for the talent show?”

Luan waved her hand ambiguously. “Eh, you’re getting there. I have to take points off for letting yourself get distracted by my heckling.”

I blinked in confusion. “Wait, so that joke was just a test? You weren’t just messing with me?”

Luan shrugged. “Maybe a little. But I mainly wanted to see how you’d react to something like that. A good performer has to have a thick skin, after all.”

“I guess that’s true,” I said thoughtfully. “But what about the tricks themselves? Are they good?”

Luan took a moment to think things over. “Well, the ring trick is definitely a keeper, and you are getting better with those cards. The only thing that needs tweaking is the hat trick with Bun-Bun. Every kid your age has seen that routine, and you really need to spice it up if you want to dazzle your audience.”

“How so?”

Luan stood up and took out an old top hat from her closet. “This is a bit of an advanced technique, but I’m sure you can handle it. One of the ways magicians distract their audiences is they make it appear as though they have no control over what’s going on. Observe.”

She set the hat down and cleared her throat. “And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall pull a rabbit out of this hat!”

She reached her hand in, but instead of a rabbit, she took out a bunch of carrots instead. I had to stifle a chuckle.

“Oh,” said Luan. “Just a sec, folks. Technical difficulties.”

She continued rummaging through her hat, pulling out everything from rubber chickens to banana peels. I think she even managed to pull out Mr. Coconuts at one point. In a matter of moments, the floor of her room was covered with random junk. Finally, she reached down deep into her hat, feeling around before her expression brightened.

“Ah-ha~! Now I gotcha!” she proclaimed. She tugged and tugged with all her might before yanking something out of the hat so hard that she went flying against the beanbag chair. However, what she had in her hand wasn’t a rabbit. In fact, it was a tiny scrap of paper. She looked at it and deadpanned.

“What? What’s wrong?” I asked.

Luan showed me the paper. “‘Gone fishing. Back in five,’” she said.

Okay, I’ll admit. That got a good hearty laugh out of me. It was just so corny and ridiculous, but somehow, she really made it work. Luan laughed along with me before clearing her throat and sobering up.

“That’s just a small example,” she said. “But you get my point. In the end, the ‘botched’ trick looks a lot more impressive. Try something like that.”

Hmm. That’s actually not bad advice. I gotta say, I had my doubts about this at first, but when it comes to performing, Luan really does know what she’s talking about. Guess it goes to show you that she’s more than just a walking prank factory.

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “Thanks a bunch, Luan.”

“Aw, shucks. I’m just glad I could lend a hand,” said Luan, extending her hand to me.

I reached out to shake it, but in a split second, I realized this was a mistake. Sure enough, there was a loud buzz that startled me out of my wits when I tried to shake her hand. I guess just because Luan’s more than a walking prank factory doesn’t change the fact that she is still a walking prank factory.

“Kids~! Dinner~!”

Before I could react at all to her last-minute prank, there was a familiar holler from downstairs. Good thing, too. All this magic practice was making me hungry.

“Welp, that’s all the time we have for today,” said Luan. She took out a coin and waved her hand in front of it, making it look like it disappeared. “Come to me again if you still need help. I do have my own performance at the Chortle Portal this week, but we can always play it by ear.”

She then reached behind my ear and pulled out the coin. I just had to chuckle at that. Say what you will about Luan (and believe me, I’ve said a lot), but when she’s not pulling a prank on you or annoying you with lame puns, she’s actually pretty cool once you get to know her. And no one knows her better than us.

“Sure thing. Thanks again,” I said. And with that, we joined the rush downstairs.

***

I have to say that I admire Dad’s dedication. Even though he now has his own restaurant and everything, he’s still able to find time to cook for all of us. I mean, sure, there are the nights where Mom and Dad are so overwhelmed that we resort to having TV dinners, but this was not one of those nights. As soon as I got downstairs, I could already smell the mouth-watering aroma of his signature Lynn-sanga. Already, I had a good feeling about this. When Dad breaks out his tried and true classic, it means there’s some good news just around the corner.

As we took our seats at the table, I noticed there were a couple of us unaccounted for. And of course, I wasn’t the only one who noticed this.

“Hey. Where’s Luna?” asked Luan.

“She’s probably still trying to get us all tickets for her big concert tomorrow,” said Mom with a sigh. “I told her not to put that off to the last minute.”

Man, I hope she gets us those tickets. This is actually gonna be one of her biggest gigs yet. I don’t know how this happened, but apparently, her band was hired by SMOOCH to play the opening act for their next concert here in Royal Woods. I’m sure we’re all excited to support her, but I’m doubly excited about tomorrow. My super-talented sister opening for my favorite rock band of all time? I wouldn’t miss that for the world!

“Well, if worst comes to worst, I can always rig up a recording device at the venue so that we can stream her performance live,” said Lisa.

“Right, because they’d totally let you get away with that,” said Lori, rolling her eyes.

Lisa scoffed and adjusted her glasses. “I never said where I’d set up the rig.”

Something tells me I don’t want her to go into detail on that, so I just decided to change the subject. “So, uh, food looks great, Dad. What’s the occasion?”

Dad smirked. “Well, let’s just say Luna isn’t the only one with a big performance this week.”

Lola giggled. “That’s sweet, Daddy. But you didn’t have to go through all this trouble just for little ol’ me. It’s just another pageant; no big deal.”

That… actually wasn’t the first thing that came to my mind when Dad mentioned another performance. Though Lola’s right; she does have another pageant coming up soon. Come to think of it, a lot of us have stuff going on this week.

“‘No big deal,’ she says. That’s a laugh,” Lana said with a sneer. “I seem to remember you freaking out all week.”

Lola let out a low snarl before taking a deep breath. “It’s fine. Just because some of the biggest pageant princesses in Michigan are gonna be judging this one doesn’t mean I should be nervous. I’m not going to lo—”

She covered her mouth and moaned, her face turning a bit green. I think she was gonna say “lose”. She can never bring herself to say that word when she’s talking about herself.

“Of course you’re not, Lola,” said Leni. “Like, you’ve been practicing for this Little Miss Sweetheart pageant all week. I know you’re gonna do great.”

Lola blushed. “Th-thanks, Leni.”

Dad cleared his throat. “Well, yes. There is that. But it’s not the only performance I was talking about.”

Luan furrowed her brow and stroked her chin. “Well, is it about Lincoln’s talent show debut? Or my show at the Chortle Portal?”

Dad let out a small chuckle. “Well, kind of. You see, after your mother and I looked over our schedule, we discovered that this week is jam packed with you guys showing off your talents.”

“It’s true,” Mom added. “Every day this week, from Monday to Friday, one of you has a very special performance planned. So, we thought it would be cool to celebrate that.”

Wait, Monday to Friday. Let me see, there’s Luna’s concert on Monday, Lola’s pageant on Tuesday, my magic show on Thursday, and Luan is doing her routine at the Chortle Portal on Friday. I feel like there’s one day missing, but for the life of me, I can’t think of what it could…

“Did you tell them yet?”

Gah~! I-I just figured out who else was missing besides Luna. Dang it, why do I always forget about Lucy?

“W-we were just about to, honey,” said Mom, a bit unnerved herself. She then cleared her throat. “Kids, Lucy has invited us to see her at the Royal Woods Poetry Slam at the Burnt Bean this Wednesday.”

Luan did a double take. “Wait, huh? Lucy, you never invite us to your poetry slams.”

“I know,” said Lucy sheepishly. “But ever since the Royal Woods theater, I… kinda want to put myself out there a bit more.”

I could see sparks in Luan’s eyes as a large grin spread across her face. She then pulled Lucy into a big hug.

“That’s my protégé!” she cheered. “Oh, I am just so happy for you~! You’re gonna knock ‘em dead!”  She laughed at her own joke. “Get it?”

Instead of groaning, Lucy laughed a little, too. Y’know, in her usual deadpan way. Honestly, I’m right there with Luan. I know how private Lucy can be, and how nervous she can get around other people. It’s nice to see her come out of her shell a little.

“Hang on, time out,” said Lynn. “So, every day this week, we all have these big performances? That’s crazy! I mean, what’re the odds?”

We all just gave Lynn a blank stare. After a pause, she realized why.

“Eh, you’re right. Even money,” she said.

My thoughts exactly. With a family as big as ours, this kind of thing was bound to happen eventually. Still, this is pretty cool. No wonder Mom and Dad wanted to celebrate.

“‘Sup, dudes and dudettes?! You all ready to rock tomorrow?!”

Just when things couldn’t get any better, Luna burst in with her usual enthusiasm. I could already see the huge wad of tickets in her hand. Sweet! She managed to get them after all!

“Welcome home, Lunes,” said Dad. “How’d it go?”

Luna chuckled sheepishly. “Wasn’t easy. Chunk had to pull a lot of strings to get SMOOCH to reserve seats for all of you. I seriously owe him big time for this, but it’s totally worth it.”

“And you’re certain it’s your desire to have all of us attend?” Lisa asked. “I understand our male sibling has a certain affinity for this SMOOCH ensemble, but the rest of us would just be there for you.”

“And that’s totally okay,” Luna responded. “‘Cause this is a big moment in my music career, and I couldn’t imagine going through with it without all of you there. I owe a lot to you guys for supporting me and helping me get this far, y’know?”

That might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I know where she’s coming from.

“Well, looks like I’m going to have a lot of rescheduling to do,” Lori sighed. She sounded a bit annoyed, but I could see the subtle smirk on her face as she scrolled through her phone.

Mom gave Lori a stern look. “Lori…”

Lori snickered. “Relax, Mom. I know how important it is to make time for my family. There’s literally no way any of us are gonna miss out on this, right, guys?”

“Totes!”

“Of course!”

“Sure as sunshine, sweetheart!”

“No question!”

“Absolutely!”

“Hmm.”

“Yep!”

“Certainly, my darlings!”

“Affirmative.”

“Poo-poo~!”

Dad nodded and smiled. “Then it’s settled.”  He raised a water glass. “Here’s to what I’m calling the Loud Week to Shine! Break a leg out there, Louds!”

“To the Loud Week to Shine~!”

We all concluded the toast and dug in to Dad’s fantastic lasagna. There’s never a dull moment with this family, and this week is really shaping up to be something special. I can’t think of a single thing that could ruin this.

…

Uh-oh. I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud. I mean, I’m not completely superstitious like Lynn, but I can’t take any chances. This is a big moment for the Loud family, and I know we’d all be crushed if anything were to go wrong. Just to be safe, I might wanna give Clyde a heads-up before I go to bed tonight. I know I sound a bit paranoid right now, but trust me. As far as our family is concerned, you can never be too careful…

Next Chapter (TBA)