User blog:007Jamesdean/Fools Paradise (Done my way)

[The siblings sans Luan are talking about something in Lori and Leni's room.]

Lisa:  [showing a cold sleep chamber]  "And that's why I propose we cryogenically freeze Luan for April Fool's Day. She can't prank us if she's frozen solid." [Lori, Leni, Luna, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, and Lily all look at her shocked at such a suggestion.]  "Oh, come on! She'll maintain brain function. Well, a little."

Me: It would be cool if we froze her until the year 3000. I saw that in a silly sitcom cartoon at one time.

Laney: [Pushes Lisa] Well, Thank you Lisa for that suggestion. We'll keep in touch. Okay, anyone else?

[The twins look at each other.]

Lola: "Lana and I have an idea."

[Lisa moves her chamber out of the way and the twins place a standing spot. Lincoln comes in wearing some kind of hazmat suit. They spin him around on a platform like a model]

Lola: "We call it the Prank-Me-Not Poncho." [pulls a cord, causing the suit to inflate a bit.]  "The inflatable lining cushions you from all manner of pranks."

[An automated boot kicks Lincoln.]

Lincoln: "Ow!" [gets hit by a spring-loaded boxing glove]  "Ooh! Ow! I can feel that!"

Lola: "Not a problem. We just need a little more air."

[Lola pulls the cord again, but it comes off, causing the suit and Lincoln to float up to the ceiling.]

Lori: "Does anyone have an idea that will actually work? April Fool's Day is this weekend, and I am  not  losing another eyebrow." [rubs her brow]  "They're starting to grow in coarse."

Luna: "I say we post bad reviews of Fanny's Prank Emporium, and force them out of business!"

Lynn: "Ooh, that's good. We eliminate her supplier, we eliminate the problem."

Lincoln: "We're too late for that. Luan got her prank supplies shipped to an offshore warehouse months ago." [The other sisters look at him speechless]  "She told me that to scare me. It totally worked."

Laney: Well I say we put her in restraints again.

Lynn: That won't work! She escaped last time!

Laney: That's because we put her in a crate. This time we put her in a straightjacket! She can't prank us if she can't move her arms.

Varie: Good idea, Laney.

Lucy: What if she doesn't use her arms to prank us?

Laney: Already thought of that. We'll also lock her up in her room until April 2nd.

Me: Good thinking.

Lucy: But what if she escapes from her room and gets out of the straightjacket?

Laney: Then we'll evacuate into the van before she gets there and... I'm not gonna win this argument, am I? [The siblings shake their heads No. Laney sighs in defeat.

Lori:  [notices Leni reading a magazine]  "Leni, are you even paying attention?"

Leni: "Oh, sorry. I was just reading this ad for a clown camp that takes place over April Fool's Day weekend." [shows them said ad]

Leni's Siblings:  [angry]  "WHAT?!"

Lincoln:  [grabs the magazine and looks at the ad.]  "This is perfect! If we send Luan to this camp, she'll be two states away from us." [notices the price]  "Oh, but it costs 500 bucks."

I start having suspicions about it but don't show it.

[The sisters look at each other. Cut to Rita looking at the ad.]

Rita: "Well, that is a lot of money, but if it means we don't have to spend April Fool's in these suits, I'd say it's worth it."

[It's revealed that she and Lynn Sr. are stuck on the ceiling wearing Prank-Me-Not Ponchos their size.]

Lynn Sr. "Agreed. Someone toss me my checkbook."

[Later that night at dinner]

Luan:  [looking at the pamphlet for the camp.]  "A weekend at Funny Farm's Clown Camp? Oh, this is my dream come true! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! But what's the occasion?"

Lynn Sr.: "Why do we need an occasion to spoil our favorite little comedienne, huh?"

Luan:  [joyfully hugs her dad, but realizes]  "Oh, wait. It's on April Fool's weekend."

Lynn Sr.  [suddenly does a spit take on Lisa]  "Is it? I, uh-I didn't realize."

Luan: "I don't know if I can be away from my family on my favorite holiday."

Lynn: "Ah, but think about all that fresh meat at the camp just waiting to be pranked."

Laney: That camp is aching to see your comedic genius.

Luan:  [enlightened]  "Oh, you're right! Well, in that case, I  camp  wait!" [laughs]  "Get it?"

[Everyone else laughs nervously]

Lincoln:  [feigning amusement]  "That is hilarious! Where do you come up with this stuff? Oh, I swear, I'm gonna pee."

Lucy: "Lincoin, don't oversell it."

The next morning, The Loud's left in Vanzilla for Funny Farm and me and Varie go into the Loud House and sneak into Luna and Luan's room. We begin searching it.

Varie: What are we looking for?

Me: Something is seriously wrong and suspicious. Luan has something big planned for April Fools Day and we have to know what it is.

In Luna and Luan's Closet I see blueprints rolled up.

Me: Huh? Blueprints?

I put the blueprints on Luan's bed and unroll them.

Varie: What are these?

Me: Plans for a very cheap hotel.

I analyze them and discover that the hotel is really a pranking death trap.

Me: The hotel is a death zone rigged with all sorts of deadly pranks.

Varie searches through Luan's notebook and finds a horrific plan in it. She gasps.

Varie: J.D. you'd better take a look at this.

I look at the plans and was shocked.

Me: Oh no! We got to get to our friends as fast as we can! Varie, Get Laney's anti-pranking supplies.

Varie: Right!

She hands me Laney's backpack.

Me: Lets go!

Me and Varie spread our wings and fly to the camp. [Vanzilla arrives at Funny Farm and the family drops Luan off.]

Luan: "Well, guys, this is it. I'm really gonna miss you, but-"

[The rest of the family eagerly bid her farewell.]

Luan: "Wait, wait! I changed my mind!"

Luna:  [horrified]  "PUNCH IT, DAD!"

[Luan opens the door and her siblings scream in horror.]

Luan:  [holds up pink shoes]  "I want the blue clown shoes, not the pink ones."

[Her siblings sigh with relief]

Lynn:  [gives her the blue shoes in a hurry]  "Here, take them all!"

Leni:  [gives her her own shoes in a panic]  "Take mine, too, just to be safe!"

[Vanzilla drives off with the rest of the family cheering. Luan shrugs off and heads inside the camp.]

Later that night, Vanzilla suddenly breaks down in the middle of the road.]

Lynn Sr.: "Ah, dang it. Sorry, guys. Looks like Vanzilla just died on us."

Lana: "I'm on it, Dad!" [checks under her seat and gets nothing.]  "Huh, that's weird. I thought I packed my toolbox."

Lynn Sr.: "It's okay, sweetie. We'll just get a tow in the morning. There's a motel right there."

BUTTZ MOTEL '''FREE WI-FI COLOR TV AIR COND'''

Lola:  [scoffs at the motel's condition]  "Lola Loud does not stay in two-star motels!"

[One of the stars on the signs breaks off.]

Rita:  [smug]  "Well, there you go. Now it's a one-star, so you're good."

Laney: I don't care that it has 40 stars! As long as I'm not with Luan!

[Lola pouts. The family is now in one of the rooms, all sleeping except Lana.]

Lana:  [praying]  "And please watch over Cliff, Charles, Geo, and Walt, and Izzy, Hops, Bitey, Fangs, El Diablo-"

Lori:  [wakes up crankily]  "Lana!"

Lana: "But I didn't get to my ant colony yet."

Lori: "Good night!"

[Lori goes back to sleep and Lana curls up and goes to sleep, too. Just then, a cricket starts chirping non-stop, waking Lincoln up.]

Lincoln: "Seriously? That's not bothering anyone else?"

Lynn:  [in a hammock]  "Oh, my bad. Those gas station burritos always get me going."

Lincoln: "Not that, the cricket." [starts walking across the room, stepping on his sisters sleeping in the spots along the way.]

Lisa: "Ouch!"

Luna: "Seriously, dude?!"

Lincoln: "I'm sorry. I can't see anything. Let me just turn on a light." [flips the switch only to somehow turn on the TV at full volume.]

Sisters and Parents:  [wake up furiously]  "LINCOLN!!!"

Lincoln: "Sorry." [frantically pulls the knob on the TV which somehow activates his parents' bed's vibrating setting.]

Lynn Sr.:  [vibrating]  "Lincoln!" [falls out of bed]  "Oh!"

Lincoln: "I'm sorry! I can't figure out how anything works in here!"

[As Lincoln keeps trying to shut everything off, the alarm goes off and Lynn turn it off, and the coffee machine starts leaking.]

Rita: "Lincoln, stop hitting switches! You're making things worse!" [looks for the plug]  "Now, where is the dang plug for this thing?" [gets hit by a following wall light]  "Ow!"

Leni: "I'll get some more towels to clean up that coffee!" [runs to the bathroom and gets sprayed by a blast of water and screams.]

Laney: I got it! [Walks over to the leak, but she slips on the coffee and falls down] Ow!

[Suddenly, everything stops]

Lana: "Well, that should do it. Whoever wired this place had no idea what they were doing." [shows she wired everything properly]

Lincoln:  [skeptical]  "I think they knew  exactly  what they were doing. Look what I found." [holds up a synthetic cricket with a familiar logo.]  "This cricket is a fake! It's from Fanny's Prank Emporium!"

[Everyone else gasps]

Lori: "There's where Luan gets all her pranking supplies!"

Lynn:  [gasps]  "You don't think she's behind this, do you?"

Laney: [Nervous] No... No it can't be.

Rita:  [scoffs at the notion]  "She can't be. She's at camp. I'll call her right now." [calls Luan]

Luan Voicemail: " Hello, family. I hope you're enjoying your stay. Buckle up. There's mo-telling what's gonna happen next. "  [evil laugh]  " Get it? "

Laney: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!

[Everyone except Lynn Sr. screams]

Lincoln: Laney, why are you panicking? Don't you have your anti-prank equipment?

Laney: No! I left it at home because I thought I didn't have to worry about Luan anymore now that she's at camp. But she's not at camp! She's here! Pranking us! [Shakes Lincoln! I'm not ready, man! I'M NOT READY!!!

Me and Varie arrived at the Buttz Motel and we see Vanzilla there and we hear the Loud's screaming.

''Varie: We're too late. The pranks have begun.''

''Me: No they haven't. I sense that nobody got hit yet. Come on!''

Me and Varie smash through the ceiling of the room the Loud's were staying in.

Me: Hey guys.

''Lincoln: J.D., Varie? How did you guys find us?''

Laney: We're saved!

Me: We found out what Luan was planning and we set out to save you.

''Varie: This whole hotel is a very elaborate rues. It's part of her biggest April Fools Day Prank.''

Me: She has someone on the inside of this whole scheme. She put a fake ad for a Funny Camp in one of Leni's Magazines and set up this whole hotel to become a pranking death trap. Isn't that right, Mr. Lynn?

Everyone looked at Lynn Sr. and he was sweating bullets.

Lynn Sr.: [Nervously] I... I have no idea what you're talking about.

Varie: Drop the act Mr. Lynn. We know what Luan was planning for this day.

Me: Me and Varie searched through Luan's things and discovered everything that shes planned. You were in on this whole thing. Ms. Rita, read this and you'll know.

I hand Rita Luan's notebook and she and the Loud siblings read it and they are shocked and turn to Lynn Sr.

Rita: Honey, is this true?

Lynn Sr.: "Okay, I admit it! I've been on Luan's scheme the whole time. A few weeks ago, she came to me..." [Flashback to Lynn Sr. driving in Vanzilla. He is whistling casually only to see Luan in his rear-view mirror sporting a malicious grin. He screams at the sight of her.]   ...and said she needed an inside man to pull off her biggest April Fool's ever. It was a very sophisticated operation. First, we planted a fake ad in one of Leni's magazines. Then we set up a fake clown camp. Now, that wasn't as easy. Do you have any idea how much it costs to buy land? We faked the van breaking down with a little help from one of Luna's fog machines. And, of course, Luan wasn't gonna miss seeing you all get pranked. The manager? That's her. She's been watching everything on the security cameras. "  [All the events explained are shown with Lynn Sr. looking guiltily with the operation going by. When Luan checks the cameras, she takes off her disguise and laughs evilly. End flashback.]

Lincoln: "Dad, how could you sell out your own family like that?"

Lynn Sr. "Luan promised me a prank-free decade! A DECADE, KIDS!"

Laney: And you believed her?

Lincoln:  [betrayed]  "I hope it was worth it."

Me: For shame Mr. Lynn.

Lynn Sr.:  [guilty]  "Oh, it was  not  worth it. I feel terrible! What kind of father am I? What kind of..." [sobs]  "...husband?" [starts crying in shame]

Lincoln:  [consoling]  "It's okay, Dad. You're not the bad guy here. Luan is."

Lynn Sr.: "No, no, son. I'm just as guilty. I went along with her!"

Laney: That's because she tempted you. But that's okay, you still have a chance to stop all this.

Me, Varie Rita and the Loud kids agreed.

Lynn Sr.: [realizes]  "You're Right. Maybe it's not too late to redeem myself. What do you think of putting Operation: Team Up and Get Back at Luan for Causing Years of Emotional Damage and Also Think of a Shorter Name for This Operation into action?"

Me: I'm in and how about Operation: April Fools Retribution?

Lynn Sr.: That's perfect.

Varie: I'm in too

Lincoln:  [determined]  "I'm in!"

Laney: Me too!

Me: Here Laney. You'll need this.

I hand Laney her Anti-Pranking Supplies.

Laney: My Anti-Prank Supplies. You're a true friend J.D.

Me: I'd do anything for my friends.

Lori: I'm in too. I'm going to turn Luan into a human pretzel!

Leni: I'm in!

Luna: Save seconds for me dudes!

Lynn: I will pulverize her for this!

Lucy: The spirits will never forgive her for this.

Lana: I'll put raw sewage in her pants!

Lola: I'll give her an injury she will never heal from!

Lisa: Affirmative!

Lilly: Poo-poo!

Rita: Lets get her!

Me: It's payback time! [Cracks knuckles]

[Back in the security room, Luan watches as her mother and father, siblings and best friends have now teammed up against her]

Luan: Drat! My friends and family have turned against me.

An explosion blasts a hole into the security room and in came Me, Varie, and the rest of Luan's Family and with angry faces on.

Me: It's over Luan.

Lori: You've tormented us long enough!

Varie: Welcome to the corner of pay and back.

''Laney uses her plant powers and entangles Luan in vines and Varie fires a torrent of water that smells like rotten fish at her. ''

Lana threw mud globs at Luan and Lola sprayed Luan with dandelion perfume.

Luan: Gah! I'm allergic to dandelions! [sneezes uncontrollably]

Me: I didn't know Luan was allergic to Dandelions.

Lola: You figure some things out, J.D.

Varie: Lisa, did you make homemade Dandelion perfume for Lola?

Lisa: Affirmative.

''A drop of glowing blue water from the sprinkler system lands on Lily's head and she glowed a neon aqua blue and was in a tornado made of pure water. Lily started to change. She became a beautiful little lady. She looked like she was 10-years-old and had lavender and black clothes. She landed on the floor.''

Lily: Wha? What happened? [Gasp] I can talk!

Lily goes to a mirror and looks at herself.

Lily: I... I'm a kid like Lincoln. Whoa. I feel weird. Wait.

Lily then raises her hand and fires a blast of glowing blue water.

Lily: [Gasps] I have water powers like Varie!

Lily then went over to everyone and fired a huge jet of high pressure water

Me: [Gasp] Lily? Is that you?

Lily: It sure is J.D. I don't know how this happened, but I'm now almost at Lincoln's age.

Rita: Oh, Lynn. Our youngest is all grown up.

Varie: Lily, you look amazing.

Laney: Lily, you have become a beautiful young woman.

Me: I'll have to look this up when we get back home.

We stopped and Luan was completly drenched and she smelled horrible and was still sneezing.

Laney: Maybe now you learned your lesson about why your pranks hurt, Luan!

I then notice a calendar hanging on the wall and discover a strange surprise.

Me: Wait a minute.

I walk over and discover that it was June.

Me: It's not April, it's June. Luan duped us.

Rita: Luan, you're in trouble when we get home.

Me, Varie and the Loud's got in Vanzilla and drove back home.

We arrived back home and in the living room Lynn Sr., Rita and Luan's siblings looked at her with angry faces. She got 2 months of grounding.

Varie discovered that Luan changed all the calenders in the house to 2018's calendar's 6 months early and played everyone for fools.

I look up the source of how Lily became this and I was surprised at what I discovered.

Me: Lily was blessed by the Glowing Water of Coventina, The Celtic Goddess of Water in Irish Mythology. Once every 50 years she bestows her powers of water onto a worthy soul descended from Ireland. It chooses babies mostly and they become 10-years-old because of it.

Lynn Sr.: Wow! That's amazing.

Lincoln: Yeah. Lily, this must truly be a huge change for you.

Lily: Yeah. It is. But I have alot to learn now that I'm a 10-year-old.

Me: We'll help you get through it, Lily.

Laney: Yeah.

Lisa: Biologically, your still 15 months old. I have a theory that when you hit 10 years of age for real, you'll start aging normally again. But we'll do everything we can to help you.

Me: I agree.

Lily: Thank you guys.

THE END.

---

Another Fanfiction done.

I wanted to do a more action packed fanfiction for you guys.

Until next time this is J.D. signing off.