One of the Boys/Script

''[Lola is having a tea party on the driveway. Lincoln is looking at food in the refrigerator]'' Lincoln: "Okay, let's see what we got." [he begins rummages through the fridge] "Kale...tofu.."quin-o-ah"?" Clyde: "I think it's called quinoa." [Lincoln tastes the quinoa and immediately spits it up] Lincoln: "I'd call it quin-blah! All this rabbit food can mean only one thing: Lori's on another health food kick." [Clyde sighs and thinks about Lori wearing a bikini and walking on the beach] Clyde: "No wonder her skin glows like a Caribbean sunset..." Lincoln: "Are you picturing her on the beach again?!" Clyde: "Uh, no!!" [pops his thought bubble and grins sheepishly] [Lincoln finds a jar of peanut butter in the back of the fridge] Lincoln: "Ooh, peanut butter! Now we're talkin'!" [He scoops up the peanut butter with his fingers and messily eats it] [Lola enters the kitchen] Lola: "Ewww, Lincoln! Have a little class!" [She exits the kitchen, disgusted.] [Luan enters the kitchen with her dummy Mr. Coconuts performing a ventriloquist act] Luan: [Speaking as Mr. Coconuts] "That's all for sports, and now the weather." [Lincoln belches as she's talking] Luan: [Still speaking as Mr. Coconuts] "It's cloudy with a chance of..." [she speaks as herself now] "You're disgusting." [Luan exits the room] Lincoln: [sighs] "My whole life is like this." Clyde: "What are you talking about, Lincoln?! You got it made; one guy surrounded by ten awesome sisters!" Lincoln: "Oh, Clyde. Sweet, innocent Clyde." [Several flashbacks of his sisters causing him dismay begin to play]

''[The scene begins with all the girls waiting in line for the bathroom. The line moves slowly as Lincoln gets more and more impatient. It is now Lincoln's turn to use the bathroom]'' Lincoln:  "Finally!" [he enters the bathroom, but quickly runs out] "Gah! Forgot my loofah!" [Lincoln returns to the bathroom only to see another long line has already formed since he left] Lincoln: "Dang it!!"

''[The second flashback begins. It starts with Lincoln walking down the stairs]'' Lincoln: [calling out] "Mom! I'm off to see Ronnie Anne!" [His sisters ambush him after hearing he's going to see Ronnie Anne] Sisters: "You're meeting Ronnie Anne?!" [they all crowd him and talk over each other, telling him what he should do before meeting her] Lynn: "In that shirt?!" Luna: "You call that posture?!" Leni: "And what about your hair?! Lori: "Are you wearing clean underwear?"

[The third flashback plays; the kids are having a sibling meeting in Lori and Leni's room] Lori: "Okay people, I'm accepting ideas on how we should spend the day." Lincoln: [raising his hand] "Oh, oh, oh!! We could go to DairyLand!!" Sisters: [all make a buzzer noise and give him a thumbs down] Lincoln: "Okay... How 'bout Gus's Games and Grub!" [his sisters do the same thing as before and make a buzzer noise and give him a thumbs down] Lincoln: "How about-" [the girls do the exact same thing a third time] Lori: "I know some place we'd all like!" [the scene then cuts to all the sisters having a good time at the mall while Lincoln sits on a bench - alone and angry]

[The fourth and final flashback begins, in this one Lincoln is sitting on his bed, playing a handheld video game] Lincoln: "Ow, ow, ow!! Thumb cramp!!!" [his sisters all barge into his room] Sisters: "Awwww, poor Linky!!" Lori: "Oh, here's Bun-Bun!" [she offers him his stuffed rabbit] Leni: [holding Lily] "Let Lily kiss your boo-boo better!!" Lola and Lana: [unrolling bandages] "Gauze! Stat!" Lisa: [She runs into the room with an AED] "Clear!!" [She shocks Lincoln as the camera pans out of his room and you can hear him scream]

[We return to the scene where Clyde and Lincoln are together in the kitchen] Clyde: "Hm, I see your point" Lincoln: "I tell you, Clyde, sometimes I wish I had ten brothers." [he continues eating the peanut butter as he was before] [Lisa enters the kitchen and snatches the peanut butter away from him] Lisa: "And I wish you would not eat our communal peanut butter with your booger-picking finger!" Lincoln: "See what I mean?" Lisa: [in contemplation] "Hmmm..."

''[That night, Lincoln is sound asleep when a shadow casts over him. He wakes up to find that it's Lisa. He yelps at her sudden presence and grabs the light chain, turning on the light]'' Lisa: "I've been pondering your wish from earlier." Lincoln: "My wish?" Lisa: "Yes. I think I can help you out." [pulls out some kind of wristwatch] "This wristwatch can transport you to an alternate dimension in which you'll have ten brothers." Lincoln [sarcastic] "Riiiiiight..." [gets down from chain] "Lisa, I think you've been playing with too many kiddie chemicals." [Lisa presses the button on the watch and a portal opens up] Lincoln: [surprised] "Holy moly! Awesome!" [proceeds to enter it, but stops] "Wait. Why are you doing this for me?" Lisa: "I need beta testers. Now, are we doing this, or am I sending Lana to a dimension where she's a toad?" Lincoln: "Oh, we're doing it!" Lisa: "One word of caution: you only have 24 hours to return home. Otherwise, you'll be stuck there forever." Lincoln: "Got it!" [grabs the watch and puts it on] "Let's do this!" [A timer starts ticking down from the 24 hour limit]Lisa: "Good luck. I gotta go break the bad news to Lana." [Lisa pushes Lincoln into the vortex as he screams]

''[Lincoln comes out on the other end of the portal and it closes. Everything looks the same]'' Lincoln: "Hmm...this doesn't look like a different dimension." [Just then, a male version of Lori comes out texting on his phone] Loki: "That is literally LOL! Hurry up, Loni! Time to go!" [Loni, the male version of Leni, walks into the doorway] Loni: "Ooh! Whoa. Loki, who moved the doorway?" [Enter a male version of Luna] Luke: "I'm ready, brah!" [strums his guitar; in a British accent] "Let's rock!" [Enter a male version of Luan and a female version of Mr. Coconuts] Lane: [speaking as his dummy] "I wooden miss it!" [speaking as himself now and giggling] "Good one, Mrs. Coconuts!" ''[The four boys head downstairs much to Lincoln's bewilderment. Enter a male version of Lynn] Boy Lynn: [carrying a football]'' "62! Hut!" [He is followed by a male version of Lucy] Lars: "Sigh." [closes door] [Enter a male version of Lana with a frog as a horn blares at him] Leif: "Quit honking, Lexx, or you'll get a frog down your pants!" [Lexx, the male version of Lola, is driving what looks like Lola's car only stylized as a military jeep with an angry face painted on it] Lexx: "Touch me, and I'm telling!" [honks] "MOM!" ''[The male twins start fighting. Enter a male version of Lisa]'' Levi: "Can you Cro-Magnons diminish the cacophony so our youngest sibling can suspend consciousness?" Twins: "Speak English, Levi!" Levi: "Shut your pie-holes so Leon can nap!" [Lincoln, still bewildered, looks at the watch and realizes that it worked] Lincoln: "Holy moly!" [The remaining brothers head downstairs] Levi: "Will you be joining us, Lincoln?" Lincoln: [disgusted] "Ugh. Where are we going? The mall?" [All scoff and laugh] Boy Lynn: "Yeah, right." Loki: "You're literally hilarious, Lincoln! We're going to Dairyland. It was your idea. My sisters would never all wanna go to Dairyland!" Loni: [walks into the front doorway; confused] "Sisters?" Lincoln: "Uh...you know, the nuns. They hate amusement parks." [laughs nervously and follows the rest of his brothers to the van] [Loni shrugs and closes the door on his way out]