Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru

"Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru" is the thirty-seventh episode of the first season of The Loud House.

Plot
Lincoln and Clyde must start a business for a class assignment, so they decide to sell Lincoln's girl expertise.

Synopsis
Lincoln and Clyde are making chocolate pies for a business, but when Lincoln goes to get chocolate for the pies, he notices that all the chocolate is gone--Lincoln immediately deduces that his sisters, who're all notorious "chocoholics", must have eaten the chocolate. Since they can't make chocolate pies, they decide to make salt-and-vinegar pies instead (stating it works on potato chips). Artie tastes a pie, and claims it to be disgusting, making them switch to birdhouse making. The birdhouses don't go much better, because when a bird flies into it, it immediately collapses.

Then they see Luan has earned $100 by selling balloon animals, causing them to take up the idea. While Liam is looking at the horribly misshapen balloon animals and explains that he's trying to impress a girl he likes, Lincoln suggests that Liam should give his crush some chocolate, revealing that his sisters all love chocolate. Liam takes the advice, and it ends up working, which leads to Liam calling Lincoln a "Girl Guru" ("guru" essentially meaning "expert"). This gives Lincoln and Clyde the idea to start a business by having Lincoln give girl advice to people for money.

Lincoln gives people advice based on his past experience with his sisters. Later, he and Clyde see the boys trying Lincoln's advice, which ends in the girls hating the boys for doing such. This causes all of them to hate Lincoln and Clyde, vowing to cause them pain the next time they see them.

Lincoln and Clyde then leave the school and run home hiding in trash cans. When they walk inside, the sisters immediately question what they were doing. Lincoln explains that since he had ten sisters, he thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to use his living experience with them as advice to give to boys on how to impress girls. The moment he's done explaining himself, the girls end up laughing hysterically at the idea, pointing out that having a bunch of sisters doesn't make him a girl expert, adding that all girls are different and that what works for them might not work for other girls. Lincoln then wonders what to do now, knowing that his business is a complete bust. When he hears his father say something about tossing out Lincoln's salt and vinegar pies, he gets an idea.

Lincoln and Clyde are now selling the salt and vinegar pies to people as a way to get revenge on the "Girl Guru" himself. Of course, every one of their dissatisfied customers purchase a pie, and immediately pelt Lincoln with them.

Cast
Leni, Luna, and Lucy have no lines in this episode, but were heard laughing. Liam's girlfriend, Sadie, and Penelope also have no lines in this episode.
 * Grant Palmer as Lincoln
 * Catherine Taber as Lori / Jordan
 * Cristina Pucelli as Luan
 * Jessica DiCicco as Lynn / Zach
 * Grey Griffin as Lana / Lola / Lily
 * Lara Jill Miller as Lisa / Liam
 * Caleel Harris as Clyde
 * Brian Stepanek as Lynn Sr.
 * Caitlin Carmichael as Kat
 * Blake Bertrand as Flat Tire
 * Jacob Hopkins as Andrew
 * Daniel DiMaggio as Artie
 * Jeff Bennett as Coach Pacowski
 * Susanne Blakeslee as Agnes Johnson
 * Mason Vaughan as Papa Wheelie
 * Sydney Mikayla as Joy
 * Hannah Nordberg as Mollie
 * Wyatt Griswold as Rusty Spokes (uncredited)

Trivia

 * Mrs. Johnson's first name is revealed to be Agnes.
 * Lincoln's sisters love chocolate, causing Lincoln to call them "chocoholics".
 * Coincidentally, the episode premiered in the United States on International Chocolate Day.
 * The scene with Lily eating chocolate has the same background from "Changing the Baby", when Lincoln goes to Lily's room to discover she's gone.
 * This is the first episode title to have a colon.
 * Liam is the only person for whom Lincoln's advice actually works.
 * One of Joy's friends looks similar to Leni's original design as an overweight eight-year-old.
 * This episode has had the biggest voice cast so far, with eighteen voice actors in total.
 * A number of the supporting characters are named after, and are caricatures of members of The Loud House staff; including Jordan (Jordan Rosato, storyboard artist), Kat (Kat Ketchum, character designer), Mollie (Mollie Freilich, production coordinator), Joy (Joy Adams, executive assistant), and Sadie (Sadie Figueroa, color stylist).
 * Liam's girlfriend, while unnamed, seems to be based off of writer, Karla Sakas Shropshire in terms of her appearance. It's also most likely she's named Karla herself.
 * Interestingly, these were girls that some of the boys were trying to impress, while following Lincoln's girl advice.
 * One of Lincoln's polo shirts was seen in Lily's crib, meaning its been there since the events of "Changing the Baby".
 * This is the second time since "Linc or Swim" that a character sings the song "Short'nin' Bread".
 * This is the second time Lynn pulled a "Dutch oven" on Lincoln, the first was in "Space Invader".
 * The clown costume Luan wears is the same one she had in "Cover Girls".
 * This episode was skipped on Nickelodeon Central & Eastern Europe for unknown reasons.
 * "Vibe Link (b)" plays when Lincoln gets the idea to be a Girl Guru.
 * This is the third time Lincoln becomes an outcast. The second time was in "The Green House" and the first time was in "Making the Case".
 * This is the third episode to have a character's name in the title.
 * In addition, this is the second episode to have Lincoln's name in it, with the first one being "Linc or Swim".
 * Agnes and Coach Pacowski seem to have feelings for each other, even though Agnes is referred to as Mrs. Johnson, which means she could possibly be divorced or widowed.
 * Irony: Lincoln and Clyde could've used apples or some other ingredient for the pies, instead of salt and vinegar.

Errors

 * The boys are paying for 2 questions, but Lincoln only answers 1 question.
 * In the flashback to Lynn pulling a Dutch oven on Lincoln, Lynn's eyelashes are missing.
 * When Luan is counting her money earned from selling balloon animals, she is counting by ones starting with 98. But the monetary value of the bills is $20 and she has at least 7 of them, meaning she has approximately $140.
 * In addition, some of the 20's on the 20 dollar bills Luan is holding are inverted.

Running Gags

 * Lincoln and Clyde saying "How hard can it be?" while trying to come up with a sale.
 * The boys blowing into a paper bag out of stress.
 * Lincoln telling girl advice to guys, only to end up as a disaster.
 * People calling Lincoln "The Girl Guru".
 * Pies being mentioned.

es:Lincoln Loud: Gurú de Chicas id:Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru Hirek babskim guru pt-br:Lincoln Loud: O Guru das Meninas ru:Линкольн Лауд: Гуру по девчонкам tl:Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru