User blog:Chanyhuman/One of the Girls (Genderbent version of One of the Boys)

The fallowing is a Genderbent version of “One of the Boys”. It had to be done. Story

[Lexx is having a tea party on the lawn, while Linka is looking at food in the refrigerator.]

Linka: "Okay, let's see what we got." *she begins rummages through the fridge* "Kale...tofu.."quin-o-ah"?"

Clare: "I think it's called quinoa." [It actually says keen-wah] [Linka tastes the quinoa and immediately spits it up.]

Linka: "I'd call it quin-blah! All this rabbit food can only mean one thing: Loki’s on another health food kick."

[Clare sighs and thinks about Loki wearing a pair of trunks while walking on a beach.]

Clare: "No wonder his skin glows like a Caribbean sunset..."

Linka: "Are you picturing him on the beach again?!"

Clare: "Uh, no!!" *pops her thought bubble and grins sheepishly. *

[Linka finds a jar of peanut butter in the back of the fridge.]

Linka: "Ooh, peanut butter! Now we're talking'!" [She scoops up the peanut butter with her fingers and messily eats it.]

[Lexx enters the kitchen to put his tea party set away and notices Linka eating the peanut butter.]

Lexx: "Ewww, Linka! Have a little class!" [He exits the kitchen, disgusted.]

[Lane then enters the kitchen with his dummy Ms. Coconuts performing a ventriloquist act.]

Lane: *Speaking as Ms. Coconuts* "That's all for sports, and now the weather." [Linka burps as he talks.]

Lane: *Still speaking as Ms. Coconuts* "It's cloudy with a chance of..." [He now talks as himself] "You're disgusting."

[Lane exits the room]

Linka: *sighs* "My whole life is like this."

Clare: "What are you talking about, Linka?! You got it made; one girl surrounded by ten awesome brothers!"

Linka: "Oh, Clare. Sweet, sweet, innocent Clare."

[Several flashbacks of her brothers causing her distress.]

[The first Flashback begins with all the boys waiting in line for the bathroom. The line moves slowly as Linka gets more and more impatient; Cuts to a point where it is now Linka’s turn to use the bathroom.]

Linka: "Finally!" [she enters the bathroom, but quickly runs out.] "Gah! Forgot my loofah!"

[Linka returns to the bathroom only to see another long line has already formed since she left.]

Linka: "Dang it!!"

[The second flashback begins, and starts with Linka walking down the stairs.] Linka: *shouting out* "Dad! I'm off to see Ronnie Andy!"

[Her brothers ambush her after hearing that she's going to see Ronnie Andy.] Loud brothers: "You're meeting Ronnie Andy?!"

[They all crowd up on her and talk over each other, grooming her while telling her what she should do before meeting him.]

Leif: "In that shirt?!"

Lynn: "Ho ho! You call that posture?!"

Loni: "And what about your hair?!"

Loki: "Are you wearing clean underwear?"

[The third flashback plays; the kids are having a sibling meeting in Loki and Loni’s room.]

Loki: "Okay people, I'm accepting ideas on how we should spend the day."

Linka: *raising her hand* "Ooh, ooh!! We could go to DairyLand!!"

Brothers: *All decline, making a buzzer noise while give her a thumbs down. *

Linka: "Okay... How 'bout Gus' Games and Grub!"

[Her brothers denied again, doing the same thing as before, making a buzzer noise while give her a thumbs down.]

Linka: "How about-"

[The boys do the exact same thing a third time before she could suggest anything else.]

Loki: "I know some place we'd all like!"

[The scene then cuts to all the brothers having a good time at the mall while Linka sits on a bench - alone and angry.] [The fourth and final flashback begins, in this one Linka is sitting on her bed, playing a handheld video game.]

Linka: "Ow, ow, ow!! Thumb cramp!!!"

[Her brothers all barge into her room.]

Brothers: "Awwww, poor Linky!!"

Loki: "Oh, here's Bun-Bun!" [He offers her her stuffed rabbit.]

Loni: *holding Leon* "Let Leon kiss your boo-boo better!!"

Lexx and Leif: *unrolling bandages* "Gauze! Stat!"

Levi: [He runs into the room with an AED.] "Clear!!"

[He shocks Linka as the camera pans out of her room and her scream can be heard.]

[When the flashbacks end, the scene returns with Clare and Linka in the kitchen together.]

Clare: "Hmm, I see your point"

Linka: "I tell you, Clare, sometimes I wish I had ten sisters." [she continues eating the peanut butter as she was doing before.]

[Levi enters the kitchen and snatches the peanut butter away from her.]

Levi: "And I wish you would not eat our communal peanut butter with your booger-picking finger!"

Linka: "See what I mean?"

Levi: *in examination* "Hmmm..."

[That night, Linka is sound asleep when all the sudden, a shadow casts over her. She wakes up to find that it's Levi. She yelps at his sudden appearance and grabs the light chain, turning on the light.]

Levi: "I've been pondering your wish from earlier."

Linka: "My wish?"

Levi: "Yes. I think I can help you out." *pulls a wristwatch of some sort. * "This wristwatch can transport you to an alternate dimension in which you'll have ten sisters."

Linka: *sarcastic* "Riiiiiight..." *gets down from chain* "Levi, I think you've been playing with too many kiddie chemicals."

[Levi presses the button on the watch and a portal opens up.]

Linka: *astonished* "Holy Moly! Awesome!" *proceeds to enter it, but then stops* "Wait. Why are you doing this for me?"

Levi: "I need beta testers. Now, are we doing this, or am I sending Leif to a dimension where he’s a toad?"

Linka: "Oh, we're doing it!"

Levi: "One word of caution: you only have 24 hours to return home. Otherwise, you'll be stuck there forever."

Linka: "Got it!" *grabs the watch and puts it on* "Let's do this!" [A timer starts ticking down from the 24 hour limit.]

Levi: "Good luck. I gotta go break the bad news to Leif."

[Levi pushes Linka into the portal as she screams.]

[Linka comes out on the other end of the portal and it closes. Everything seems the same.]

Linka: "Hmm... this doesn't look like a different dimension."

[Just then, a female version of Loki comes out texting on her phone.]

Lori: "That is literally LOL! Hurry up, Leni! Time to go!"

[Leni, the female version of Loni, walks into the doorway.]

Leni: "Ooh! Whoa. Lori, who moved the doorway?"

[Enter a female version of Luke.]

Luna: "I'm ready, sis!" *strums her guitar; in a British accent* "Let's rock!"

[A female version of Lane along with a male version of Ms. Coconuts.]

Luan: *speaking as her dummy* "I wooden miss it!" *speaking as himself now and giggling* "Good one, Mro. Coconuts!"

[The four girls head downstairs much to Linka’s confusion. A female version of Lynn enters.]

(Girl) Lynn: *carrying a football* "62! Hut!"

[She is followed by a female male version of Lars.]

Lucy: "Sigh." *closes door*

[Enter a female version of Leif with a frog as a horn blasts at her.]

Lana: "Quit honking, Lola, or you'll get a frog down your dress!"

[Lola, the female version of Lexx, is driving what looks like Lexx’s car only stylized as a military jeep with an angry face painted on it.]

Lola: "Touch me, and I'm telling!" *honks* "DAD!"

[The female twins start fighting, as a female version of Levi appears.]

Lisa: "Can you Cro-Magnons diminish the cacophony so our youngest sibling can suspend consciousness?"

[Lily, the female version of Leon cries.]

Twins: "Speak English, Lisa!"

Lisa: "Shut your pie-holes so Lily can nap!"

[Linka, still puzzled, looks at the watch and realizes that it worked.] Linka: "Holy Moly!"

[The remaining sisters head downstairs.]

Lisa: "Will you be joining us, Linka?"

Linka: *disgusted* "Ugh. Where are we going? The mall?"

[All taunt and laugh]

(Girl) Lynn: "Yeah, right."

Lori: "What is this, an episode of a hit cartoon that overuses gender stereotypes? You are literally hilarious, Linka! We're going to Dairyland. It was your idea."

Linka: "Sweet! My brothers would never all wanna go to Dairyland!"

Leni: *walks into the front doorway; confused* "Brothers?"

Linka: "Uh... you know, the monks. They hate amusement parks." *laughs nervously and follows the rest of her sisters to the van. *

[Leni shrugs and closes the door on her way out.]

[The van drives across Royal Woods while the girls are cheering.]

Lori: "Yes! Dairyland was awesome!"

Luan: "Great idea, Linka."

Luna: "Yeah, way to go, sis."

Sisters: "You're the woman, Linka!"

Linka: *burps* "Whoops. Sorry."

(Girl) Lynn: "You should be sorry, 'cause that was weak!" *makes a bigger belch*

Lana: "Ha. That was nothing. Check this." *farts with armpit*

Lori: "Oh, yeah? Well, nothing beats the real thing." *farts for real*

[The girls cheer Lori on and stop at Gus' Games N' Grub.]

Lori: "Chow time, girls."

Linka: "Gus's Games N' Grub? No way!" *zooms inside*

[Five pizzas are put on their table.]

Lori: "Five pies for ten guys!"

Luan: "I sure hope Mom and Dad gave us enough dough!" *laughs* "Get it?"

[Linka picks up a slice, but realizes what she's touching it with.]

Linka: *bummed* "Sorry, I'm touching the pizza with my booger-picking finger."

Lana: "Are you kidding me? You use your finger for your booger picking? I use my thumb!" *puts thumb in nostril*

[The girls all tell Linka what they pick their boogers with, each with a different part of their hands... or their feet, which makes her happy; Later, they arrive home where this dimension's Randy, for some reason wearing Lynn Sr.'s clothes instead of being a female version of himself, is taking out the trash with Lily.]

ALT. Randy: "There's my army. How was Dairyland?"

Lori: *kisses her dad* "It was awesome!"

(Girl) Lynn: *kisses him* "Hi, Dad!"

Lana: *kisses him and burps* "Bye, Dad!"

[The girls head inside while this dimension's Lynn Sr., who is wearing Randy’s clothes instead of being genderbent, is getting out the second garbage can.]

ALT. Lynn Sr.: "Hey, girls!"

Lana: "PILE ON MOM!"

[Lynn Sr. screams as Lana jumps on top of her, with her daughters joining in on the fun.]

Lisa: "We got you!"

Lucy: "Say uncle."

Leni: "I thought she was our mom."

ALT. Lynn Sr.: *begging for mercy* "UNCLE!"

[The girls cheer and run off]

ALT. Lynn Sr.: *groaning in pain* "Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to have sons."

[Linka looks at how much time is left.]

Linka: "Only 12 more hours. I wish this didn't have to end." *gets an idea* "Wait. Why does it have to? What if I didn't go back?" *Runs upstairs where her sisters are playing Hockey in the hallway and tosses the wristwatch in the trashca. .* "Guys, guess what? I'm staying!"

[The girls look with perplex]

Lori: "Okay."

Luna: "Whatever."

[Female Lynn belches]

Linka: "Hang on, sises! Let me grab my Hockey stick!"

[She runs into where her room would but crashes into a shelf, apparently in this dimension, the linen closet, where her room should be, is still a linen closet.]

Linka: "Uh, hey..." *Sees them charging and gets out of the way. * "Lynn! Heh...where's my room?"

(Girl) Lynn: "Right where it always is, weirdo."

[It turns out Linka bunks with Female Lynn and Lucy. It looks she shares a bunk bed with Female Lynn, and Lucy sleeps in a vampire coffin.]

Linka: "Three of us live in here?"

[Lucy rises from out of her coffin.]

(Girl) Lynn: "Where else would we sleep? The linen closet?" *laughs*

Linka: *checking her top bunk* "Hey, where's Bun-Bun?"

Lucy: "Luke flushed her."

(Girl) Lynn: "Lucy gave her a very dignified funeral."

Lucy: "Thank you."

Linka: *devastated* "Not Bun-Bun!"

(Girl) Lynn: "Well..." *yawns* "... night, little sis." *roughly punches Linka’s arm*

Linka: *rubbing her arm* "Ow!"

[That night, as Linka tries to get some sleep, a swarm of bats comes out of her pillow and she screams in horror.]

Lucy: "Oh. There's my bat colony."

[The next morning, Linka wakes up to find Lucy’s bat colony over her head and then screams in horror and falls onto the floor.]

(Girl) Lynn: "One for waking me." *punches Linka right into Lucy’s coffin. * Linka: "Ow."

Lucy: *rises out of coffin* "And one for scratching my coffin." *punches Linka*

Linka: *rubbing her arm* "Ow." *realizes something* "No line for the bathroom? Sweet!" *rushes in*

[However, the bathroom is a total and complete mess, causing Linka scream in discuss.]

Luna: *yawning* "What's your damage, sis? You woke me up."

Linka: "Look! The bathroom is disgusting!"

Luna: "You're right, sis. We can't live like this. Let's go clean it! We'll start with the toilet!" *grabs Linka*

Linka: "Huh? Hey hey hey!"

[The door then closes]

Luna: "Swirly time, dude!"

[Linka screams at the swirly she's given by Luna; She comes out with her sisters laughing at her cost.]

Luan: "How's it goin', Stinkoln?"

[Linka then trips over and hurts her thumb.]

Linka: "Ow!"

Loni: "Aw, you're fine. Shake it off."

[Lily crawls up to Linka.]

Linka: "Lily? You wanna kiss my boo-boo and make it better?" [Lily bites Linka’s thumb.] "OW!"

Lori: "Kiss your boo-boo?"

[As the girls continue to laugh, Linka sucks her thumb since no one will kiss it to make it feel better.]

[Linka is topless.]

Linka: "Does nobody do laundry?"

(Girl) Lynn: *picking her nose with her big toe* "Oh, yeah! Got a winner!" [The twins are wearing Linka’s shirts.]

Linka: "Uh, why are you guys wearing my shirts?"

Lana: "Duh, 'cause ours were dirty."

Linka: "Well, now I don't have any clean ones, and I'm supposed to hang out with Ronnie Andy!"

Lori: [snobbishly] "Ooh, the princess needs a clean shirt when she sees her prince!"

Sisters: "Ooooooooooh!" *laugh*

Linka: *visibly blushing* "Cut it out, guys!"

Luan: "You know, if you wear your skirt higher, you won't need a SHIRT!" [pulls Linka’s skirt upward on the word "shirt", giving her somewhat of an inverse wedgie and laughs.]

Linka: *sarcastically* "Thanks a lot." *pulls skirt down* "I don’t know how you did that, but I need clean underwear, too."

Luan: "I'm just playing', sis." *ruffles Linka’s hair*

Linka: "Ah, come on! I just combed my hair."

Sisters: *taunting* "OOOOOOOHHH!!!"

Lana: "PILE ON JULIET!"

[Linka screams as all her sisters, except Lily, pile on top of her.]

Lori: "Guys, Dutch oven, Loud House style!"

[They all fart on Linka.]

Luna: "Say uncle!"

Linka: "Uncle!"

[They all get off Linka and cheer proudly for their Dutch oven. Linka, however, is not happy.]

Link: :* groans and shouts* WHY DO THESE REENACTMENTS HAVE TO BE SIMILAR TO THE ORIGINAL SCRIPT!? *sighs then to the audience* "Remember what I said about staying here forever? Yeah. That's not happening." *Sees that she only has 5 minutes before it's too late. * "Phew. I still have five minutes to get back." [Checks the wastebasket she through the watch in but it was not there.] "Where is it?"

Lola: "Whoa! Check out this sweet watch!" *holds the dimensional wristwatch*

Linka: "Hey, that's mine!"

Lola: "Finders, keepers, loser!" *runs off with it*

Linka: "No! I need that!" *Chases after Lola and falls down the stairs.]

[Lola tosses it to Luna.]

Leni: *laughing* "Keep away with Aunt Linka’s watch!"

Luna: "Oops!" *tosses it to Leni*

Linka: "You guys, this is serious!" *Sees this dimension's version of her mom and gets an ide. .* "PILE ON MOM!"

[Their mom runs away screaming and the girls run off to pile on her. Linka manages to grab her watch as they charge off.]

ALT. Lynn Sr.: "UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE!"

[There are only a few seconds left.]

Linka: "Phew. Just in time."

(Girl) Lynn: "Hey, Stinka, I almost forgot something." *pantses Linka and runs off laughing*

[Linka sighs, activates the portal, and jumps in screaming.]

[Linka makes it through the portal and ends up back in her linen closet room. However...]

Linka?: "My room!" *sees a familiar stuffed friend* "Bun-Bun!" *grabs Bun-Bun and cuddles her* "It worked!"

[The lights turn on and reveals her sisters are still here.]

Lori: "Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?"

Linka? "AAAHH! It didn't work!"

Luna: "You want some water?"

Lola: "How about warm milk?"

(Girl) Lynn: "Do you want some water?"

Linka?: "Wait. Why are they being nice to me?"

Leni: "Aw. Want us to stay until you fall asleep, Lincoln?"

Linka?: *confused* "Lincoln?"

[Linka looks around to see her nails painted and her room is now very tomgirly, there's a photo of her and a male version of Clare, and she finds out in her mirror that she had turned into a boy named Lincoln Loud.]

Lincoln: "I'M IN THE WRONG DIMENSION!"

[Linka screams in horror and then the scene immediately changes back to Linka. It turns out Linka was having a nightmare; Her room is the same as it was and he's still Linka Loud.]

Linka: "Oh, thank goodness. It was all just a nightmare."

[Her brothers barge in response of her scream.]

Loki: *concerned* "We heard you scream! Are you okay? Here's Bun-Bun, Linky."

[Her brothers comfort her after her scare.]

Loni: "Leon will kiss it and make it all better."

Linka: "Thanks, guys. You're the best."

[Leon kisses his sister]

Linka: "It's good to be home. I'll never complain about having brothers again."

[As they embrace for a caring moment, the boys realize what she just said.]

Lexx: "Wait. What?"

Linka: "I mean, you know, the monks."

[Loni notices a wristwatch and picks it up.]

Loni: "Linka, is this yours? It fell on the floor."

[Linka screams, tosses it on the floor, and stomps it into pieces.]

Loki: *murky* "That was literally mine! You are so gonna pay!"

Linka: *in fear* "Please don't stick my head down the toilet!"

Loki: "What? I meant with money."

Linka: "Oh, of course. That's more than fair."

Lexx: *scorn* "Breaking Loki’s watch? You, ma’am, have no class!"

[The brothers all go back to bed.]

Linka: *to the audience* "Well, not only do I now know why they find that one episode offensive, but I’m so glad my brothers are nothing like my sisters."

[Lynn comes back in]

Lynn: "Hey, Linka, I almost forgot something." *pantses her and runs off laughing*

Linka: *annoyed* "Except for Lynn."

Trivia


 * ...not my favorite episode admittedly, but again, I knew it had to be done.
 * Unlike other genderbenders, who wanted the loud sisters to be bossy, I decided to make the loud sisters behave exactly like their counterparts by taking advantage of the gender stereotypes, I even added a few jokes about the episode’s controversy.
 * Unfortunitly, there was no male version of Mrs. So I invinted one, "Mro."
 * Tip; Be carful what you wish for, (and don’t overuse stereotypes or you’ll get backlash.)
 * The original was written by Kevin Sullivan.
 * Please support the official release.