User blog comment:The Epicness9000/Fanfiction: Fire in Royal Woods/@comment-24260217-20170513162016

Alright, I have quite a few criticisms for you. First of all, this is probably the most rushed fanfiction I have ever seen. There is no time to get attached to Luna before the explosion happens and for the little time she is there, she is out of character. Luna could have simply asked for another batch, or just get a refund. Instead of an explosion hit's her, Luna looks like she has been smoking 2 packs a day for her whole life. Luna doesn't seem scared at all, and there is no excuse for that. Lori and Lincoln weren't in character, as Lincoln would say much more and Lori would respect her decision. More over, Luna having life insurance at fifteen doesn't make sense and it would go to her parents with the off chance that she does have it. Moreover, making a poll to see if Luna should die? Really?? You are letting the reader decide how the story works?

I hope they weren't too overboard, and they don't bring you down. Bai!