User blog:Metool Bard/Fanfiction: Tell Me About the Rabbits

Everyone who's read the book Of Mice and Men, raise your hand.

...

I don't know why you're doing that; I can't see you. Anyway, assuming you have read it, I have found certain similarities between the titular character Lenny and our own Leni Loud. So much so that I wanted to make a story with this title for a while now. And I figured the best way to do it is with some Lana/Leni bonding fluff. So without futher ado, here is:

Tell Me About the Rabbits
“Mmm~. Good morning, guys.”

Lana was greeted by a cacophony of animals noises as she was roused from her slumber, almost as though she had mysteriously woken up in the middle of a zoo. Whenever Lola was away, Lana Loud made it a point to invite all of the animals in the Loud House to sleep in her room. Not just the usual suspects such as Hops, Izzy, Bitey, and El Diablo, but Charles, Cliff, Geo, and Walt as well. And seeing as Lola was away competing in the Little Miss Southeastern Michigan pageant, this was one such day. Even Luan’s rabbit Gary and Lucy’s vampire bat Fangs were happy to take Lana up on her offer.

“You guys must be hungry,” said Lana, stretching herself out. “Just hang tight. I’m gonna go have breakfast, and then it’s feeding time for all of you.”

Lana scooted out of bed and headed for the door. When she opened it, she heard a familiar scream.

“Ahh~! Get it off get it off GET IT OFF~!”

Lana sighed and rolled her eyes, doubling back to make a quick headcount of the animals in her room. Sure enough, one of her lizards was missing. With another sigh, she looked out into the hallway. Just as she suspected, Leni was darting about, flailing her arms and screaming as Izzy was clinging to her face. Several of the other siblings poked their heads out of their respective rooms, wondering what the ruckus was all about.

“So. Who do think the culprit is this time?” Lynn asked Lucy. “My money’s on Luan.”

Luan scoffed. “As if I would get up early on a day that wasn’t April Fool’s just for a cheap gag like this.”

“Riiiiiight,” said Lynn, clearly not believing her.

“I believe Lana is a fault this time around,” said Lisa. “The reptile on Leni’s face is clearly genuine.”

“You’re on, L-Dog,” said Lynn with a sneer.

Lana sighed and cupped her hands over her mouth. “Izzy~! Over here, boy!”

Izzy heeded the call of his master and scurried into Leni’s nightgown. Leni yelped and squirmed as he made his way down her leg and onto the floor. He then scurried over to Lana and climbed up onto her shoulder. Lisa smirked at Lynn.

“Wipe that dumb grin off your face,” Lynn said as she sulked.

“Just goes to show you that you can’t always jump to conclusions!” Luan said with a laugh. After a pause, she looked around. “Hey, uh, Gary? That’s your cue.”

“Oh. Sorry, Lu’,” said Lana sheepishly. “Gary decided to sleep with me last night.”

“Dang it,” Luan grumbled. “I hate starting my day on a botched punchline.”  She then looked over at Leni. “You gonna be alright there, Leni?”

Leni shivered and trembled. “Th-that was the most terrifying experience of my life,” she whimpered. “Even more so than the last one.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that,” said Lana with a shrug. “I guess my lizards really like you.”

“Yeah, c’mon, Leni,” said Luan. “No need to be so… cold-blooded!”  She laughed at her own joke. “Yes! Nailed it on the rebound!”

The rest of the siblings groaned.

“Well, I can’t see any of us going back to sleep now,” said Lincoln, rubbing his eyes.

“I concur. I believe I’ve managed to meet my eight hour quota, anyway,” said Lisa.

The siblings all grunted in agreement before shuffling downstairs. Before Leni could follow, Lana approached her.

“Hey, I’m really sorry about that. Honest,” she said. “How about I make it up to you?”

Leni tilted her head. “How?”

“Well, all of our pets are staying in my room right now, since Lola’s off competing in that super special pageant,” said Lana. “I’m gonna give them breakfast after I’ve had mine. You wanna help out? I’m sure Charles would love your legendary belly rubs.”

Leni thought for a moment, and then smiled. “Y’know what? That sounds totes fun.”  Her smile soon faded into a concerned frown. “Just, uh…”

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to touch any of my guys if you don’t wanna,” Lana assured her. “And I’ll make sure they’re on their best behavior.”

Leni breathed a smile of relief and smiled again. “Thanks, Lana.”

Lana shrugged. “It’s the least I can do.”

***

After breakfast, Lana led Leni back to her room. Leni was carrying an assortment of pet food for everyone. The pets all greeted them as they entered.

“Hope we didn’t keep you guys waiting,” said Lana. “Just set that stuff down for now, Leni. We’ll get started in a bit.”

Leni complied as Lana went over to Izzy’s tank. She looked around and saw Walt still in his birdcage, looking a bit restless. She tilted her head.

“Aw~. You wanna come out, Walt?” she asked, walking over to the birdcage.

Lana perked up and spun around. “Uh, Leni? I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Why not? He looks so cramped in there,” said Leni, reaching out to Walt.

Lana shrugged. “Fine. Just don’t complain when he poops on you.”

Leni stopped dead in her tracks and gave Lana a look. “Wh-what? C’mon, Walt wouldn’t do that to me  He’s a good birdy.”  She turned back to Walt. “You hear that, Walt? You’re a good birdy~. Yes you are~.”

Before Lana could object, Leni reached in and let Walt perch himself on her finger. He waddled about and quacked a bit before raising his tail feathers.

“Here it comes…” Lana muttered.

In a flash, Walt unloaded a massive amount of bird droppings right onto the carpet. Normally, when Walt did his business, the result was the size of a fingernail. This time, however, the mess on the carpet was more than a tablespoonful. Leni’s eyes popped out of her skull.

“Wh-what?! Ew~!” she shrieked, flailing her arms. Walt took off and flew about, seemingly confused.

“I tried to warn you,” Lana sighed.

Leni took a moment to recover before giving Walt a glare. “Bad Walt! Naughty bird!” she scolded. “You should know better!”

“He… kinda can’t control it,” said Lana sheepishly. “You gotta understand something about birds, Leni. They choose not to go to the bathroom during the night, so everything inside them builds up, and they let it all out in the morning. That’s why the rule is that Walt is not allowed to leave his cage until he’s had his morning poop.”

Leni winced. “Ugh, gross. That is, like, too much information.”

“Well, on the bright side, you’ll know for next time,” said Lana. “I’m gonna clean this up; you can start feeding the pets.”

“O-okay.”

Leni took a deep breath and smiled at the pets. Although taking care of them was Lana’s chore, Leni was no stranger to feeding animals. She knew exactly what they liked. Dry dog food for Charles; wet cat food for Cliff; vitamin pellets for Geo; birdseed for Walt. She placed each of their food into their little bowls, giving them each a pat on the head in turn.

“Eat up, guys,” she said sweetly.

While Charles, Geo, and Walt happily dug in, Cliff sniffed his food and turned up his nose. Leni sighed. Cliff did always like being difficult.

“Aw, c’mon, Cliffy. It’s not that bad,” she said. “You want your coat to be all nice and silky, don’t you? Go on, try it. I know you’ll like it.”

Cliff grunted out a sharp, snobbish mewl as he continued snubbing his food. Leni let out another sigh and gave Cliff a pleading look.

“Pweeeese~?” she purred.

Cliff looked up at Leni for a second. Finally, with a meow of defeat, he started nibbling away at his meal.

“Hey, not bad, Leni,” said Lana as she finished cleaning up the mess Walt made. “I usually have to threaten to eat Cliff’s food myself to get him to eat.”

Leni made a face. “Again, TMI.”

“I’m just sayin’,” said Lana with a shrug. “Now, where did I put those crickets?”

As Lana looked around for Izzy’s breakfast, Leni noticed a black shape hanging on Lola’s canopy bed. When she took a closer look, she saw that it was Lucy’s vampire bat Fangs. She stroked her chin in thought. “Hey, uh, Lana?”

“Yeah?”

“What do I do about Fangs? I don’t have to let him…”  Leni gulped. “…bite me, do I?”

Lana looked over at Leni and shook her head. “Nah. I’d let him sleep in for a bit. Vampire bats are typically nocturnal.”

Leni thought for a moment. “That means they sleep during the day and get up at night, right?”

“Exactly,” said Lana with a nod. “Honestly, I think the poor guy’s sleep cycle might be a bit messed up. Y’know, living with us and all.”

“Well, no wonder he gets so cranky around Lynn,” said Leni.

Lana chuckled. “Yeah, I hear ya. Actually, if we kept livestock around here, Fangs wouldn’t go after Lynn all the time.”

“Why’s that?”

“Vampire bats don’t usually bite humans. They like to go after cows and pigs and stuff. They only bite humans when there’s no other food around.”

“Oh. That actually makes a lot of sense,” Leni mused. “Think Mom and Dad should know about this?”

“Maybe. I wouldn’t count on them buying a cow just to feed Fangs, though,” said Lana. “Anyway, I’m sure Lucy will come pick him up later. You don’t have to worry about feeding him.”

“Got it.”

As Lana continued feeding her pets, Leni turned to Luan’s pet rabbit Gary. She smiled.

“I know just what you want,” she said, reaching into her back pocket. “Ta-da~!”

She pulled out a bunch of bright orange carrots and set one in front of Gary. Gary sniffed it and nibbled on it a bit.

“There you go, Gary. Eat up so you get big and strong,” said Leni. She then sighed whimsically. “You’re so cute.”

By this time, Lana had finished feeing her pets. “Alright, how’s it going over—?”  She stopped short when she looked at Gary. “Uh, Leni? What’re you doing?”

“Feeding Gary some carrots, of course,” said Leni.

Lana gave Leni a look. “Leni, rabbits don’t eat carrots.”

Leni did a double take. “Um, huh? Of course they do. Rabbits love carrots. Everyone knows that.”

Lana let out a dry chuckle and shook her head. “Actually, that’s only in cartoons. Carrots have too much sugar for rabbits. They actually like green stuff, like lettuce and alfalfa. Here, I’ll take care of Gary.”

Leni’s eyes went wide as she stared blankly at Lana. After a few seconds, her breathing became heavy and ragged.

“S-so that’s why…” she muttered.

“Did you say something, Leni?” asked Lana.

Leni didn’t respond. She instead fell to her knees and began trembling.

“Omigosh, omigosh,” she murmured. “Wh-what have I done?”

Lana tilted her head in confusion. “H-hey, it’s okay, Leni. You can still give rabbits a bit of carrot as an occasional treat. Gary’s gonna be fine.”

“Th-this isn’t about Gary,” Leni whimpered, shaking her head.

“Then, what’s wrong?” Lana asked. “Why do you look so upset?”

Leni sniffled and sat down, staring down at the carpet. “I don’t know if I should tell you. Y-you’re gonna hate me.”

“Leni, there’s no way that’s gonna happen,” said Lana, taking a seat next to Leni. “C’mon. Talk to me. I promise I won’t get mad.”

Leni let out a sigh of defeat. “Well, it’s like this. A few years ago, I decided to volunteer at our local pet shelter. I just loved animals so much, and I wanted to do something nice for them.”

Lana smirked. “Really? That’s pretty neat, Leni. How come you never let me tag along?”

“I did sometimes. You were just too young to remember,” said Leni with a smirk of her own. “Anyway, one time, I was asked to take care of this family of rabbits.”  Her smirk turned into a melancholic smile as her eyes welled up with tears. “They were just the most adorable little things you ever laid eyes on. They would hop around; snuggle with me…”  She giggled. “Hide inside my clothes. I had so much fun looking after those little guys.”

“So, what happened?” Lana asked.

Leni’s smile slowly faded. “One day, they started getting sick. The shelter’s nurse said they didn’t seem to be getting a proper diet. I did everything I could to help. I brought them fresh carrots every day.”  She sniffled and shook her head. “They… didn’t make it. I never really figured out why, but, well, I know now.”

Lana’s heart ached as she put all the pieces together. “Oh, geez. Leni, I-I’m so sorry.”

Leni buried her face into her hands as the tears finally sprang forth. “I-it’s because I’m the one who hurt them. Th-they’re gone, and it’s all my fault. I-I’m such an idiot.”

“Whoa, hey. Don’t be so hard on yourself,” said Lana, patting Leni’s shoulder. “You didn’t mean to hurt them. It was just an accident. Lots of people make that mistake about rabbits.”

“You wouldn’t, though.”

Lana blinked. “Huh? Where did that come from?”

Leni sighed. “Sorry. It’s just…”  She turned to Lana and gave her a sad smirk. “You’re really amazing when it comes to animals, Lana. You know so much about them, and you’re only, like, six! I wish I knew as much about animals as you did. Maybe then, those rabbits would still be alive.”

Lana couldn’t decide if her heart was breaking or melting. “Oh, Leni…”

Leni let out a sorrowful scoff. “Maybe you should’ve been taking care of them instead of me. You wouldn’t have made a dumb mistake like I did.”

Lana looked down, her face darkening. After a pause, she gave Leni a dark look. “Wanna bet?”

Leni gasped. “L-Lana?”

Lana sighed and hung her head. “I get how you feel, Leni. More than you know.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“Remember our family fish?”

Leni blinked. “You mean Goldie? Yeah, I remember him. What about him?”

“I’m the one who flushed him.”

Leni let out another gasp. The other pets stopped eating and stared at Lana, appearing to have a vested interest in their fallen comrade.

“Y-you’re the one who got rid of him?” Leni asked. “Wh-what happened?”

Lana’s face turned red as she kept her gaze fixed to the floor. “Well, one day, he just looked kinda… thin. So I gave him some extra food, figuring that he’d stop eating once he was full. I was wrong.”

It didn’t take Leni long to figure out what Lana meant. “So, you…”

“Overfed him. Yeah.”

Leni took a moment to process this.

“Does anyone else know about this?”

“Only Mom and Dad. And Lola, knowing her.”

Leni bit her lip and shook her head. “Oh, Lana. I—“

“It’s okay. Like I said, I get it,” said Lana. Tears flowed down her face in a steady stream. “Just like you, I did something really bad, and it led to me losing someone very important to me. And the worst part is that I can’t take it back. I-it sucks. It sucks knowing that you made a horrible mistake, and there’s nothing you can do to fix it.”

Leni pursed her lips and thought for a moment as Lana sobbed. She then nodded.

“Yeah. It does suck,” she said softly. “But if we didn’t make mistakes, how would we ever learn anything?”

Lana gave Leni a befuddled look. “Wh-what?”

“That’s what you’re trying to say, isn’t it?”

Lana’s blush resurfaced in full force. In actuality, she hadn’t thought that far ahead. She just wanted to share her experience with Leni so that she’d feel better.

“W-well, I-I guess,” Lana sputtered awkwardly. “I-I mean, I dunno. I-I just…  I just thought that…  You shouldn’t feel…  I…”

Leni smiled and pulled Lana into a hug.

“Thanks, Lana,” she cooed. “Hey. I might not talk to ghosts like Lucy does, but I bet Goldie would, like, totally forgive you.”

Lana snickered and returned the embrace. “I think those rabbits would forgive you, too, Leni.”

As the sisters held each other, the pets clamored around and nuzzled against them.

“Aw~. Hey, guys,” said Leni, stroking Cliff’s back.

Lana let out a small giggle as she let Walt roost on her shoulder. “Yeah, that’s something I love about these guys. Somehow, they always know when you need cheering up.”

Leni smiled and nodded. “That’s what I love about them, too.”