User blog:Chanyhuman/Undie Stress (Genderbent Undie Pressure)

The fallowing is a genderbent version of Undie Pressure.

Story

[We start off an outside view of the Loud House on a rainy day; Leif runs down the walkway, opens the front door, and enters the living room carrying mud.]

Leif: "In a couple more hours, this mud will be perfect to play in!" *splashes the mud all over his face. *

[Leon is sitting on the floor, crying, and Lane is folding laundry on the coffee table, while Lexx, Levi, Loki, and Loni are on the couch; Lexx is admiring himself in his pocket mirror, Leni is looking back and forth at a clipboard and a set of test tubes, Loki is talking to Bebe, and Loni is doing Loki’s nails.]

Lane: "Hey, guys, why can't a comedian tell a dirty laundry joke? 'Cause it always comes out clean!" *laughs*

[Lynn bounces a basketball off the wall in the background.]

Lynn: "He shoots! He scores!"

[Luke enters the scene, holding a radio toward his ear.]

Luke: *in a British accent* "I bloody love this song! Sing it like you mean it, Marge!" [Lars pokes his head out of the fireplace, making him jump in terror.] "BLIMEY!"

Lars: "I'm trying to write here."

Loki: *on the phone, to Bebe* "No, I love you more, silly." *to Loni* It's our six-week-iversary.

Loni: "You two are like, gonna be together for, like, ever."

Levi: "Speaking of forever, Loki, my study indicates you haven't used the bathroom in quite some time."

Loki: "EWW! There is no way I'm being in your grody poop study!"

[Linka appears in the doorframe between the living room and dining room.]

Linka: *to the audience* "Ah, rainy days. Perfect for hanging out with the family and reading comics."

[Lexx, while looking in his mirror, sees Linka throwing off her shirt and skirt in its reflection.]

Lexx: "Groooooss!"

Linka: "What?"

Lexx: "Why do you always have to read your comics in your undies?!"

Linka: "'Cause reading my comics with my clothes on is uncomfortable and distracting." *shakes her booty at Lexx* "And you know how I like to be comfortable while reading comics. Now, scootch!"

[Linka sits between Lexx and Levi; Lexx, disgusted, jumps onto the armrest.]

Lexx: "ACK! It's an annoying habit, and you get butt germs everywhere!"

Linka: "Me annoying? You can't look away from the mirror for five seconds!" *holds up all of her fingers.*

Lexx: "LIES!"

[However, Lexx is looking in his mirror rather than at Linka; he looks back, closes the mirror, and smiles uncomfortably.]

Linka: "And Loki, would it kill you not to talk to Bebe all the time?!"

Loki: "I do not talk to Bebe all the time!" *to Bebe, over the phone* "Do I, Bebe?"

Linka: "And Levi, you always do your weird poop studies!"

Levi: "It's quite fascinating work."

Linka: "See? You guys couldn't last ten minutes without doing your annoying things!"

Loki: "We could last longer than you!"

Linka: "I bet you couldn't!"

Lexx: "Oh, really? Care to make it a little more interesting?" *hops onto the top of the couch, and walks back and forth* If we can stop doing our things longer than you can stop doing yours, then you have to give up reading in your underwear...FOREVER!" *raises his fist*

Loki, Loni, Luke, Lane, Lynn, Lars, Leif, and Levi: "YEAH!"

Linka: "Wait a minute! What's in it for me?"

Lexx: "If you win, we'll never complain about your butt germs again."

Linka: "Okay. But if I beat you, you also have to buy me these beauties." *opens up an underwear catalog and points to a circled picture of red panties. * "Pure cotton, 2,000 thread count, non-binding elastic. I'll just call them my victory undies."

[The boys go into a huddle and discuss the deal, whispering unintelligibly; Lexx looks back once as they do.]

Lexx: "Deal."

Linka: "Great! So, if I have to read comics with my clothes on, Lexx can't look in the mirror..."

[Lexx is shocked as he closes his mirror.]

Luke: *British accent* "Rock and roll!"

Linka: "... Luke can't speak in a British accent..."

[Luke puts his hand over his mouth in shock.]

Leif: *running for the front door. * "MUUUUUD!"

Linka: "... Leif can't play in the mud..."

Leif: *turns back and walks slowly, disappointed. * "Dang it."

Loki: "No, I love you more, silly."

Linka: "... Loki can't talk to Bebe..."

Loki: *hangs up* “Bebe who?"

Linka: "... Loni can't say 'like'..."

Loni: "Like, okay." *grins shamefully*

Linka: "... Lars can't pop up and scare people..." [Lars backs his head into the fireplace.] "... Levi has to give up his weird studies..."

Levi: *apologetically* "Forgive me, science."

Linka: "... Lane can't tell bad jokes..." [Lane zips his mouth shut.] "... Lynn can't turn everything into a sport..." [Lynn, holding a broom like a hockey stick, distressfully starts sweeping normally.] "... and Leon can't cry."

[Leon puts his pacifier in his mouth.]

Loki, Loni, Luke, Lane, Lynn, Leif, Lexx and Levi: "DEAL!"

Loki: "Pants up, buddy girl!"

Linka: "Okay, competition... *puts on her pants*... starts... *puts on her shirt*... now!"

Loni: "Wait, like, I wasn't clear on the rules."

Loki: "Loni, you can't... say...'like'!"

Loni: "Oh, got it."

Linka: "Okay, competition starts now."

Loni: "I'm, like, totally gonna win this." [A red "X" appears over his face, with a buzzer sound.]

[The boys groan]

Lars: *appears next to her siblings* "Well, nice going."

[They jump in terror; a red "X" appears over Lucy's face, as a buzzer sounds.]

Lars: "Dang it."

Lexx: "Come on, gents, stay focused!"

Linka: "Ha, Two down. I can practically smell those victory undies. Wait, let me rephrase that!"

[The boys are lying down, bored.]

Lexx: *putting his makeup on unevenly* "See? I don't even need a mirror to put my makeup on. Comfy over there, Linka?"

Linka: *shifting around, uncomfortable* "Yep. Just about... to dive... ugh... into my...comics. Agh.

Lexx: *smiles sinisterly* "Yyeeeee!"

[Loki’s ringtone plays an electronic version of "Here Comes the Bride"; Bebe is calling.]

Loki: *whines as he tries to press the hang-up button. *

Lexx: *presses the button* "Control yourself, man!"

Loki: *sighs, annoyed*

[Lane and Lynn are folding laundry.]

Lynn: "Well, nothing sporty about folding laundry."

Lane: "Or funny."

[Leif looks big-eyed through the window, watching Charlotte and Chris play happily in the mud out in the rain; He gets down on all-fours and runs toward the door like a dog, but Lexx steps in front of him.]

Lexx: "Leif, HEEL!"

[Leif paws on the door, whimpering, but Lexx sharply points the other way; Leif runs toward Charlotte' s doggy bed and curls down in it, sadly.]

Luke: *Swedish accent* "Herdie, verdie, verdie. Easy peasy, I just svitched to Svedish, ja?"

Levi: "You poor, fragile Homo sapiens."

[Loke’s ringtone plays again; Leif grabs the phone.]

Luke: "I vill take dat, ja?"

Loki: *grabs the phone for a tug-o-war* "No you von't! Dah, I mean won't!" *wrestles with Luke for the phone in a tug-o-war. * "GIMMIE!"

[While both boys fight, grunting all the while, they bump into the laundry basket, causing a folded pair of socks to bounce out; Lynn watches the bundle bounce in slow motion and imagines it as a basketball.]

Lynn: [images of basketballs appear in his eyes.] "Basket... ball..."

Loki, Loni, Luke, Lane, Lars, Leif, Lexx, and Levi: "DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!"

Lynn: [hits the bundle into the basket.] "TWO POINTS!" [throws the remaining sock bundles in rapid succession.] "TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! YAAAAAAY-AH!" [jumps into the air for a victory pose; as a red "X" appears over his face, with buzzer sound.]

Linka: "Buh-bye." [Linka continues to struggle in her clothes; she loudly groans.] "Maybe the pants are the problem." *goes toward the laundry basket and looks at some of the pants. * "Too scratchy... too tight... too far after Labor Day... Oh, these are perfect!"

[Bebe suddenly appears pressed outside the window.]

Bebe: *desperate* "Babe! Why aren't you answering my calls?!"

[Loki looks forlornly at Bebe, puts his hand on the window, then looks away.]

Loki: "Forgive me, my love." [He draws the curtains over the window; then he notices something.] "Linka, why are you wearing my leggings?!"

Linka: *wearing Loki’s leggings* "Hey, you never said I had to wear my pants. Plus, these are so comfy!"

Loki: "Good luck. Those are the ones that really... ride up on ya."

Linka: *walks away* "Sure, Loki, you're just trying to mess with my--HELLO! Yep, those are ridin'!" *walks while pulling the seat area of the leggings down.*

[Luke is holding the radio to his ear, and he listens to an announcement.]

Jade Rock: *over the radio* "Hey, cats and kittens, this is Jade Rock here! I'm giving away Marge Swagger tickets to the caller with... the best British accent!"

[Luke’s eyes widen, looks back and forth, and slinks away to behind the curtains; he signals for Bebe to shoo, and he calls the radio station on his cell phone.]

Jade Rock: Hello, you're on the air! Let's hear your best British accent.

Luke: *whispering, in the accent* "Come on, love, hand over those tickets."

Jade Rock: "Yeah, sorry, caller, I can't hear you!"

Luke: *whispering, slightly louder* "Come... on love, hand over those tickets!"

Jade Rock: "If you don't speak up, you can't win!"

Luke: *Yelling* "HAND OVER THE BLEEDING TICKETS, MATE!"

[Linka draws back the curtains to reveal Luke to the others.]

Luke: *shamefully back to Swedish* Herdie verdie? [A red "X" appears over his face with a buzzer sound.]

[Linka is struggling to read her comic, and she pulls back the seat of the leggings.]

Linka: "Ugh, I've read the same panel twenty times!"

[There's a "knock-knock" at the door.]

Linka: "Who's there?"

Bebe: *from outside* "Bebe!"

Linka: [gets an idea, and suspiciously addresses Lane.] "Bebe who?"

[Lane prepares to give a punchline, but Lexx silences him.]

Lexx: "Don't you DARE answer that joke, Lane!"

Loki: "I gotta let her in!"

[Loki rushes to the door, and he fights with Lexx to open it.]

Bebe: *from outside* "Geez, how many Loud sisters does it take to open a door?!"

Lexx: "Lane, do NOT answer that!"

[Lane is holding his cheeks, struggling to resist his urge to tell jokes.]

Loki: *points the other direction to distract Lexx.] "Hey, look, free makeup samples!"

Lexx: "What?"

Loki: *puts Lexx down* "HA!" [He opens the door to reveal Bebe on the other side; he stares adoringly at her.] "Bebe!"

Leif: *stares at the mud Bebe is tracking adoringly* "MUD!" [He runs outside and jumps into a mud puddle, giggling like a maniac; a red "X" appears over his face, with a buzzer sound.] Loki: *In mid-hug with Bebe* "Happy six-week-iversary, Bebe-Booboo-Bear!" [a red "X" appears over his face, with buzzer sound.]

Bebe: *After hug, arms at each other's shoulders. * "Thanks, babe! I would have been here sooner, but I had to wait for a chicken to cross the road."

Linka: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Lane: "TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE! TO RUN AWAY FROM THE COOK! TO PROVE HE'S NO CHICKEN!" *laughs like a maniac*

Lexx: "NOOOOOOOO!!!" *tackles Lane*

Lane: *breathing deeply* "Sweet comic relief." [a red "X" appears over his face, with a buzzer sound.]

Lexx: *growls with frustration*

Bebe: "Here, babe, I brought you something special. *hands Loki a milkshake. *

Loki: "Awww." *drinks from it*

Bebe: "It's the milkshake from our first date, six weeks ago."

[Loki’s eyes widen, and his stomach begins to growl; he holds his stomach and rushes up the stairs to the bathroom.]

Loki: "Coming through, literally!"

Levi: *gasp* "The missing piece of my gastrointestinal study!"

[Levi runs upstairs for the bathroom; we hear the door opening and Loki’s screams of embarrassment.]

Levi: *offscreen* "Sweet mother of discovery!"

[Levi makes his way back downstairs and into the frame; a red "X" appears over his face, with a buzzer sound, as the "X" moves with his before disappearing.]

Levi: *to the audience* "I'm only human."

Lexx: "YOU PEOPLE ARE USELESS!"

Linka: "And then there were two."

Lexx: *hides his eyes beneath his hair; acts sinister. * "You may have outlasted those amateurs, but now you've gotta deal with a REAL PROFESSIONAL!"

[A dramatic spotlight is cast on Lexx, and he turns his face to reveal his uneven makeup; his eyelid makeup and lipstick smear across his face, his hair is messy and shaggy, his pupils are blank and colorless, and he’s wearing pearl earrings.]

Linka: "I won't give up, for the sake of all things comfortable!" *snaps the seat of the leggings, causing her pain. * "YIGH... gotta do something about these pants!"

[Linka is now wearing a pair of gray sweatpants.]

Linka: "Now these are pants I can read in!" *hops on the chair and continues reading. * "You boys better start pooling your money, because I'm about to win this thing!"

Lexx: "Then perhaps it's time to turn up the heat.".*turns the thermostat up from 70 to 98 degrees. *

Linka: *begins to sweat* "Whew, is it hot in here?" *walks over to the thermostat* 98 degrees?! So that's how he’s gonna play it!" [Lexx is walking down the stairs, and he sees Linka holding a rag.]

Lexx: "Linka, what are you doing?"

Linka: "Just readin'. Oh, and I polished every surface of the living room. So shiny, you can see your face."

[Lexx sees that all the shiny surfaces around him show his reflection; he shields her eyes.]

Lexx: "AAH! Must... not... look... at self! Beautiful... beautiful self!" *runs for the kitchen, screaming. *

Linka: "And I waxed the kitchen floor, too! Such reflection!"

[Lexx runs back into the living room, screaming, and he hits his face on the back of the chair, leaving an imprint of his makeup on it; he falls onto the floor, dazed.]

Lexx: "THAT'S IT!" *hops onto the chair, with a pair underwear in his hands. * "Give up, Linka! You know you want these!" *rubs the underwear on Linka’s face. * "Smell 'em! SMELL THAT COTTON! YOU KNOW YOU WANT 'EM!"

Linka: "I'm not giving up! You'd give up right now if you could see what's wrong with your face!" *holds up Lexx’s pocket mirror. *

Lexx: "WHAT?! Guys, is there something wrong with my face?!"

[The boys babel, trying to convince him otherwise.]

Lexx: "LIES! GIVE ME A MIRROR!" [He looks into a shiny doorknob, and he screams at his hideous reflection; he dashes upstairs to his room, then comes back down a few seconds later, back to his normal self, with still wearing his earrings.] "Ahh, that's better." [a red "X" appears over his face, with a buzzer sound.]

Linka: "I WIN!" *rips the sweatpants off* "The victory undies are mine!" *opens up the catalog* "Okay, gentlemen, pay up!"

[Leon throws his pacifier at Linka to get her attention.] Linka: "Hey, Leon."

[Leon looks up at Linka, and then she has a moment of realization.]

Linka: *gasp* "LEON!"

Loki: "He didn't cry this entire time! That means..."

[The boys toss Leon into the air in victory.]

Loki, Loni, Luke, Lane, Lynn, Lars, Lexx, Leif, and Levi: "LEON WINS!"

[The boys then cheer for Leon, who laughs along with them.]

Linka: *falls to the floor* "And I lost!"

Lexx: "Well, Linka, guess you have to give up reading comics in your underwear forever!"

[A red "X" appears over Linka’s face, with a buzzer sound.]

Lexx: *putting on his makeup in her mirror* "Ahh, how I've missed this beautiful face."

[Linka groans as she struggles to read her comic fully-clothed; Lexx looks at this display with pity and empathy, then he closes his mirror.]

[There is a "knock-knock" at the door, and Lane goes to answer it.]

Lane: "Who's there?"

Delivery Woman: *from outside* "Delivery woman."

Lane: "'Delivery woman’ who?"

Delivery Woman: "Come on, kid, it's raining!"

Lane: "That's your punchline? You really need to work on your delivery." *skips away, laughing*

[Linka answers the door.]

Delivery Woman: "Package for... Linka Loud." *hands Linka a package.*

[Linka opens the package, and she gasps its contents: a pair of red panties.]

Linka: "My victory undies! I don't get it!"

Loki: "We didn't order it for you."

Lexx: "I did."

Loki, Loni, Luke, Lane, Lynn, Lars, Leif, and Levi: *all upset* "But she lost the bet!"

Lexx: "Come on, you guys, we clearly can't give up our things. Why should Linka have to give up hers? We should all accept each other's habits... even if some of them are really, really gross."

[The boys babel in agreement; Linka runs for Lexx and gives him a hug.]

Linka: "Thank you!" *gets teary-eyes* "They're almost too nice to wear." *wipes her tears; sniffs* "But not that nice!"

[Linka runs off and puts her new panties on.]

Linka: *to the audience* Ah, rainy days. There's nothing like doing the thing you love surrounded by the ones you love... and 2,000-thread-count undies."

[Linka snaps her underwear and reads her comic book, surrounded by her brothers, who are happily indulging in their habits.]

[Cut to outside; Bebe is chasing a chicken in the rain.]

Bebe: "Chicken, come back! Why did you cross the road?!"

Trivia


 * The sound "Yeeee" was based on a noise I made as a kid when ever I noticed a big toothy smile, mainly cartoons.
 * Tip; I know it's easier said then done, but sometimes you have to exept your siblings', roomates', neighbors', etc. habbits, regardless of how annoying they are.
 * The original script was writen by Violaine Briat.
 * Please support the offical release.