User blog:Thomperfan/Friendzy (my version)

Yep, guys. I found a way. I hope you enjoy it.

(It starts in a hotel in Las Vegas, and then it cuts to a room with me and my family in it. Mom is brushing her hair, Dad is on his laptop working and Me and Sophia are watching TV.)

Me: (noticing the viewers) Oh, hey guys! You’re probably wondering what me and my family are doing in a hotel room instead of our house. Well, my dad had a tennis tournament in Las Vegas and the rest of us came along to support him. We got this awesome hotel room that we’re staying in for a week, and it is awesome!

Sophia: Nolan, who are you talking to?

Me: The audience. (I point to the screen.) See?

Sophia: Oh. (To the viewers) Hi!

(Just then there’s a knock on the door. My mom goes to answers it and it reveals to be a hotel employee.)

Hotel employee: Um, yeah, I have a letter for, a Mister Noah Rock?

Me: (excited) Oooh! Oooh! That’s me! (I run up to the man and take the letter) Thank you! (I close the door and sit on of the beds) Hm, I wonder who it’s from. (I look on the back and see that it was from Lincoln) Oh, it’s from Lincoln!

Sophia: (sits with me) Ooooh! Cool! Can you read it?

Me: Sure things, little sis. (I open the envelope and out falls the letter and three pictures. I take the letter, unfold it and start reading it.) ''Dear Nolan, what’s up? How’s life in Las Vegas? I hope you and your family are having lots of fun. Also, my sisters say “hi”. Especially Leni, she sent you hugs and kisses (XOXOXO). (I sigh) Anyway, things back home have been quite eventful, as you can see in the pictures Lori and Leni’s friends took.''

(Me and Sophia take a look at the three pictures. The first picture is of the LKs fighting, the second picture is of the house looking like a mess, and the third picture is of Lincoln and a police officer together.)

Me: (groans) Oh boy. What did they do this time?

Sophia: Maybe they got arrested?

Me and Sophia: Hmmmmmmmmm… Nah! (laugh)

Me: (continuing reading) You’re probably wondering “What did you guys do this time?” (Stops reading) Wow, that’s exactly what I was wondering. (going back to reading) Well, to explain, I have to go back a few days.

[Flashback. Vanzilla is seen pulling out of the driveway]

Me: [still reading] "You know us Louds. We're notorious for fighting over everything, which usually leaves us with nothing.”

Lynn Sr.: "Okay, we need some tunes for the ride. What should it be?"

Luna: "Rock!"

Lori: "Love songs!"

Lynn: "The sports station!"

Lisa: "West Coast rap!"

[Realizing they all have differing opinions, the siblings begin arguing with each other, where they begin fighting. Without warning, Rita takes out an air horn, and blares it, making the kids stop fighting, cover their ears, and cause the back window to shatter]

Rita: "If you kids can't decide, your father and I will decide for you."

[Rita turns the radio on, and some country music begins playing]

Rita and Lynn Sr.: "YEE-HAW!"

[The kids groan in defeat. Cuts to another flashback of Lynn Sr. about to leave for the grocery store.]

Lynn Sr.: "Kids! I'm off to the grocery store! Any requests for dinner?"

[Suddenly, the house begins shaking. The siblings begin rushing downstairs, shouting their requests]

Lisa: "Sardines!"

Lincoln: "Chicken nuggets!"

Lori: "Bean chips!"

Luan: "Banana cream pie!"

[Lynn Sr. hollers at the impending chaos]

Lana: [from upstairs] "Worms! The butcher usually sets some aside for me."

[The siblings begin arguing with each other, and, without warning, Lynn Sr. blares the air horn, which makes the kids stop fighting]

Lynn Sr.: "If you guys can't decide, I'll decide for ya. Goulash it is!"

[Lynn Sr. twirls around for a second, and exits the house, making the kids groan in defeat. Cuts to another flashback of the siblings rushing to the TV. Lincoln hops over his sisters, and gets to the couch first. Lincoln grabs the remote.]

Lincoln [sighs] "Time for ARGGH!."

[From behind, Lucy snags the remote, and her sudden appearance makes Lincoln fall over out of panic]

Lucy: "You mean Vampires of Melancholia?"

[From behind, Lana bumps Lucy with her butt, where the remote falls out of her hands, and Lola catches it]

Lola: "You mean Prison Pageants."

Lynn: "Basketball!"

[Suddenly, the kids begin fighting over possession of the remote]

Luan: "You guys can't be remote-ly serious!" [laughs] "But really, I wanna watch the Circus Channel!"

[The siblings are now arguing with each other, and, without warning, Rita arrives, and blares the air horn, making the kids stop arguing]

Rita: "Well, if you kids are going to fight, I'll take the remote. Thank you."

[Rita forcefully takes the remote from Lola, sits down, and changes the channel to an elderly woman watering a plant]

Gardening Grandma: "Now we just wait... and watch it grow."

[After that sentence, the woman just stares at the plant while doing nothing. After five seconds of complete silence, the kids groan in defeat. Cuts back to me and Sophia in our hotel room.]

Me: (sigh) Classic LKs. (reading) But then I discovered that to get what you want in this family, you don’t necessarily have to fight.

[Cuts to a flashback of Lynn and Margo watch TV together, when Lincoln comes up.]

Lincoln: Uh, Lynn, I usually watch ARGGH! after school.

Lynn: Aw, no problem, Lincoln. Only 6 ½ innings left in this game.

[Lynn and Margo cheer as Lincoln storms into the dining room, where Rita is working on her novel.]

Lincoln: Mom, I usually watch ARGGH! after school!

Rita: I know, Lincoln, but let Lynn watch her game, okay? She has a friend over.

Lincoln: [thinking] A friend, do you say?

(Cuts back to me and Sophia on the bed.)

Me: (reading) ''I called my discovery “Playing the Friend Card”. It means Mom and Dad give you special privileges, if you have a friend over. I would’ve asked you to help me, but since you were on vacation, I had to go with my next best option: Clyde.''

(Cuts to a flashback of Lincoln and Clyde about to watch ARGGH! with their ghost gear on, when Lori, Leni and Lucy come up.)

Me: (reading) I’m pretty sure my sisters weren’t aware of it, but now, I was.

Lori: [Unhappy] "Move it Lincoln, we're watching the Dream Boat."

Rita: [Just coming out of her room] "Uh, girls, let Lincoln watch ARGGH!, he has a friend over.

[The girls groan in frustration, as Lincoln slyly smiles. Cuts to Lynn Sr. baking cookies]

Lynn Sr.: [calling out] Kids, I'm baking cookies! Who wants to lick the beaters?!

[A commotion starts to take place and a glass of milk on the counter starts to shake, Lynn Sr. looks worried as Lincoln, Clyde, Lana, Lola and Lisa all rush in wanting to lick said beaters.]

Lola: [pushing Lana aside] Get out of my way, or I'll find you in your cell after lights out!

Lana: Lola, you really gotta stop watching those prison shows.

Lynn Sr.: "Girls. Lincoln has a friend over, let them have the beaters.

[Lincoln and Clyde enjoy the beaters, while Lola, Lana and Lisa look on with suspicion Cuts to Lincoln and Clyde walking out to the backyard, where Rita is gardening. They're about to grab the badminton rackets, when Lynn and Lana snatch them first]

Lynn: Drop it, Stinkoln. We have dibs.

Rita: Girls, let Lincoln play. He has a friend over.

[Lynn and Lana glare as Lincoln and Clyde grab the rackets. Later that evening, it's dinner time]

Lynn Sr.: [Holding a covered tray] "Dinner is served." [Uncovers the tray revealing chicken nuggets]

Luna: "Chicken nuggets? Bogus dude, I asked for bangers and mash."

Lisa: "And I clearly recall requesting sardines. I'm low on my Omega-3s."

Lynn Sr.: "Well, Lincoln has a friend over so Clyde got to pick tonight's dinner."

[The girls shoot him questioning looks, and then their brother dirty glares]

Lincoln: [Nonchalantly] "And I suggested chicken nuggets."

Clyde: [Also nonchalantly] "And i said that was a great idea."

[Lincoln smirks at his sisters, who glare at him even dirtier. Cuts to the siblings, except for Lincoln and Lily in Lisa and Lily's room.]

Lisa: I call this emergency sibling meeting to order. Something stinks in this household, and I'm not referring to our collective chicken nugget breath. [goes into her closet and grabs a white board.] According to my calculations, there is a direct correlation between the amount of time Clyde has been over, and the number of privileges approved by Lincoln. Someone who fancies himself a wit might call this "Playing the Friend Card".

[The sisters gasp and start complaining]

Lola: I got this! During guard change, I'll sneak up on him in the shower!

Lisa: Um, sister, that won't be necessary. I have another plan.

[The next day, Lincoln and Clyde are preparing to watch ARGGH]

Lincoln: "I can't wait to watch ARGGH."

Clyde: "Me too, I hope Hunter can escape from that haunted porta potty."

[The two see Lola watching TV, and she has a friend too]

Lola: [Nonchalantly] "You boys wanna join me and Roxanne for Prison Pageants?"

Lincoln: [Puts down his net and runs to his parents room] Moooooom! Lola's watching TV, but Clyde and I are supposed to be watching ARGGH!

Rita: Sorry, honey. Let Lola watch her show, she has a friend over.

Lincoln: But I have a friend over, too!

Rita: True, but Lola got to the TV first.

[Lincoln looks annoyed. Cuts to Luna and Sam playing on their guitars in the dining room, when Lincoln and Clyde come in.]

Lincoln: We may not get the TV, but at least we can have some cookies.

Luna: [pulls out an empty plate] All out, bro. Dad said Sam and I had first dibs.

[She smirks and Lincoln glares. Cuts to Lincoln and Clyde walking into the kitchen.]

Lincoln: We may not have the TV or the cookies, but at least we can choose lunch. [to Lynn Sr.] Hey Dad, Clyde said he would lover franks and beans today.

Clyde: Well, Lincoln suggested it, but I agreed.

Lynn Sr.: Sorry, guys. [holds up two sporks each with two sausages on them] Lunch is already made.

Lucy: [Appears behind Lincoln who screams in terror] Yeah, my friend Haiku is staying for lunch and requested blood sausage.

Clyde: Friend? I don't see a-[notices Haiku behind him and also screams in terror]

[Lucy smiles at Lincoln, who looks suspicious. Cuts to the two boys walking out to the backyard.]

Lincoln: "Okay, we may not have the TV, or cookies, or the lunch we want, but we can still play badminton."

[But Lori and Whitney are already on the court]

Lori: [Stopping Lincoln and Clyde] "Sorry Lincoln, Whitney and I have the court." [Gives a stern look right to Lincoln's face] "I'm on to you, Buster, and in case you thought you were getting any other privileges today, everyone else is on to you, too."

[Lincoln looks confused, but he and Clyde turn around and gasp when they see Lincoln's sisters (minus Lily) and their best friends giving them sinister looks, Lynn Sr. (who is holding Lily) and Rita gasp at this, too]

Lynn Sr.: "Yikes, that's a lot of kids, you wanna hide at the mall for a few hours?"

Rita: "Do I? It'll be quieter and less crowded." [They and Lily race off]

(Cuts back to me and Sophia still reading the letter.)

Me: (sigh) Of course, Miss Rita and Mr. Lynn decided to chicken out and hide.

Sophia: Oh no. What is Lincoln gonna do, Nolan?

Me: Well, if there’s anything I know about Lincoln, it’s that he never gives up easily. I bet he’s gonna find a way to fight back.

Sophia: Well, let’s read and find out.

Me: Okay. (I continue reading) ''My sisters had discovered the Friend Card, but they forgot that Lincoln Loud is the man with the plan. So, I just came up with a way to outsmart them.'' (I stop reading) Just as I predicted.

[Cuts to another flashback of Lynn and Margo getting ready to watch TV.]

Lynn: [grabbing the remote] Woo-Woo! Double header time!

Lincoln: [appearing with Clyde] We'll be watching ARRGH!, thanks.

Lynn: [laughs] In your dreams. I have a friend over so, uh-

Lincoln: Yes. You have one friend over. [It's revealed that Liam is there with them.] But I have two. [Whispers in Lynn's ear] And two is greater than one.

[Lynn angrily gives Lincoln the remote as he, Clyde and Liam jump on the couch. Lynn and Margo scream and fall off. Later, the boys are watching ARGGH, when Lynn returns with Margo, and two more of her friends]

Lynn: "Guess what, Lincoln, I can do math, too, and three is greater than two."

[Takes the remote back, and flips the couch backwards, with Lincoln, Clyde, and Liam still on it, something she and her friends laugh at. Later, Lynn and her friends are watching the game, and eating popcorn, Luna and Sam approach them, and Luna is not happy]

Luna: [To Lynn] "Hey! Sam and I had dibs on that popcorn."

Lynn: "Gee, sorry Luna." [Continues eating] "But I got three friends over," [swallows, and whispers to Luna] "and three beats one."

Luna: [Even more surprised at Lynn] "Dude! I thought we were on the same side!"

Lynn: "Yeah, well Lincoln brought in two friends, so I did what I had to do."

Luna: "Well, fine, I can call my friends too!" [Storms off to the phone] "Operator, can you help me place this call?"

[Cuts to Leni and Becky playing badminton, when Luna comes up.]

Luna: Dude, mind if we cut in?

Leni: But Becky and I are playing-

Luna: Nah, totally dude. I get that. It's just that, you have one friend over, [camera zooms out to reveal three more friends behind her and Sam] and I have four.

[Leni glares at Luna and gives her badminton racquet to her. Back inside, Lynn and her friends are still watching TV when Leni comes up to them.]

Leni: "Can you please pass the remote, Lynn? It's time for my 'fashion show' show."

Lynn: [imitates a buzzer] "I have three friends over, so I get the TV. Thank you."

Leni: "Three? Oh, that's so cute. I have five. [camera zooms out to show her friends behind her] Wait... [counts]Yeah, five." [she and her friends grin smugly at Lynn and her friends]

[Later, Leni and her friends are watching TV when Lori comes up to them.]

Lori: "Excuse me, Leni, my friends and I have to watch our dating advice show."

Leni: "Sorry, Lori. I have five friends over and--"

Lori: "Oh, only five?" [The camera cuts to show she and Whitney are now joined by five additional friends. Leni starts to count them when Lori suddenly pushes her face up to hers.] "I'll save you the trouble-- there are six of them. Remote, please!"

[Leni glares at her. One scene wipe later, Lori and her friends are watching TV when Lisa comes up to her.]

Lisa: "Pardon the intrusion, eldest sibling. But it's time for the congressional hearings."

Lori: "But Lisa--"

[But before Lori can say anything more, the camera zooms out to reveal Lisa is joined by seven of her classmates.]

Lisa: "Lucky seven, baby. Count' em!"

[From here on, there is a rapid-fire montage of the sisters each bringing in more friends to outnumber each other's.]

Lola: [accompanied by eight friends, addressing Lisa's group] "Move it, Lisa! My eight friends and I want to watch Prison Pageants."

Lucy: [accompanied by nine friends, addressing Lola's group] "Sorry, Lola, but my nine friends and I would like to watch Vampires of Melancholia."

Luna: [accompanied by ten friends, addressing Lucy's group] "Hit the road, Jack. My ten friends and I have a concert to watch!"

Luan: [accompanied by eleven friends, addressing Luna's group] "Everyone nose... [points to her red clown nose]...that 11 is more than 10! And we have a comedy special to watch!"

(Cuts back to me and Sophia, who are pretty shocked about what we just read.)

Sophia: Whoa. (to me) Nolan, how many friends is that?

Me: I don’t know Sophia. Things are getting pretty crazy. Let’s keep reading.

Sophia: OK!

Me: (reading) ''The house was now packed with all of our friends. We could tell this situation was getting out of hand, so my sisters and I decided to meet up in the dining room and discuss it.''

[Cuts to another flashback of the siblings talking amongst themselves while getting angry]

Lori: "You guys, this is literally out of control. Lana, did you really have to invite twelve of your muddy friends over?"

Lana: "Don't bark at me! Lincoln invited thirteen randos over from the arcade!" [To Lincoln] "I bet you don't even know all their names."

Lincoln: "I do too! There's Jeff, or is it Josh?"

Lisa: "By my calculations," [pulls out her threat level chart] "with this many people in the house, we could be approaching a threat level of, Stampeding T-Rex."

[Suddenly things in the living room start heating up]

Friend 1: "Hey I was watching that!"

Friend 2: "Too bad!"

Friend 3: "No! Too bad for you!"

Friend 4: "Give me the remote, I wanna watch the sports channel!"

Lisa: "Uh-Oh, make that Erupting Volcano!"

[The siblings look, and see their friends beating each other up]

Lori: "That's just great, Lincoln. Those complete strangers you invited into our home, just started a fight."

Lincoln: [Still having no clue who he invited into the house] "Jim would never do that. It was probably Lola's pageant group, they looked vicious."

Lola: [Scoffs] "My money is on Lynn's meathead jock friends!"

[Lynn scoffs even harder, and the siblings start arguing, and now they starts beating each other up. Two fights are shown in one house, a police car pulls up, while everyone's still fighting]

Policeman: [Banging on the door] "Police! Open up!"

[The siblings stop fighting; Cuts back to me and Sophia]

Me: (reading) ''And now you’re caught up. So, I went to open the door.''

[Cuts to a flashback where Lincoln answers the door to see the policeman standing there]

Policeman: "Okay, kids, break it up! Party's over."

[The horde of friends leave the house]

Lori: [calls out] "Wait, Leni!" [exasperated] "You don't leave, you live here."

Leni: [heading back into the house] "Oh, right!"

[Rita and Lynn Sr. come back home, just as the last kids start to leave]

Rita: "What is going on here?! Why are there 65 kids walking out of our house?!"

Policeman: "Are you the parents?"

[They nod]

Police Officer: "I'm afraid you've got a two-hundred dollar ticket for noise violation. [He gives Rita the ticket] Try to keep your kids under control, this is a nice neighborhood.

[He leaves, and Lynn Sr. closes the door]

Lynn Sr.: [Sternly] "Anyone care to explain?"

Lincoln: [Looks around] "I will, I've got the story down pretty well by now." [Winks to the viewers] "...and now you're caught up."

Rita: "Well, you guys are going to have to use your allowances to pay for this ticket."

[The kids nod]

Lynn Sr.: "And I hope you've learned your lesson."

Luan: "Definitely, we're done playing the friend card, in fact, we fold." [Laughs]

Lana: "Guys, from now on why don't we just take turns on choosing what show to watch, and who gets to lick the beaters, and junk?"

Luna: "Pretty sweet idea. We can start with dinner tonight."

Lincoln: "Lori, you're the oldest, why don't you go first?"

Lori: "Ooh, okay. I think we should have-"

Rita: "Um, sorry honey, tonight's dinner has already been set. We’re having goulash." [Awkwardly smiles]

Lucy: "Goulash? Why?"

[The doorbell rings]

Lynn Sr.: "Well," [Awkwardly laughs, opens the door, and his and Rita's friends walk in] "we're having friends over."

[It's the parents turn to receive dirty looks from the kids; Cuts back to me and Sophia.]

Me: (still reading) ''That night was probably longest night of our lives. Believe us, we are NEVER playing the Friend Card again. And don’t worry, we talked to our friends and sorted everything out. It’s probably a good thing you weren’t there to witness this yourself. Things would’ve probably gotten even more crazy than they did. We still miss you, though. And we can’t wait for the day you come back home and we can all hang out again. Stay safe, your friend, Lincoln.'' (sigh) Good ol’ Lincoln.

Sophia: Wow. That was a nice letter.

Me: It was, Sophia. It was. In fact, I think I’m gonna save this one. (I take the letter and place it in my backpack.)

Mom: (Off-screen) Kids, come on! It’s time for your dad’s match!

Me and Sophia: Okay, mom! We’re coming!

(Sophia leaves, but I stay for a minute.)

Me: Well guys, I gotta go. See you next time!

(I head out after Sophia)

THE END