User blog comment:FirstDrellSpectre/Fanfiction - Sister Carol/@comment-26302585-20161218010106

Dang. Things are getting intense. If Bobby knew that was Lori attacking Lincoln, I imagine he would've broken up with her in less than a second. I know Ronnie Anne would be pissed at Lori as well, though I'm guessing she won't even be in the story.

I don't know if your typing fast, but if you are, you need to take your time. I've noticed a few errors. Bobby should've said "Don't lie to me!" And I think you meant to type "Lori left and Bobby kept waiting for Lori, not noticing he just told her to leave."

This fancition if still great so far, but you need to take you time typing and make sure you proof read before you post it. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just giving some friendly advice.