User blog:InklingBear/Life of Pets - Naughty By Nature

Story #38 - Naughty By Nature
6:00pm

As usual, a typical Saturday night befell the sweet neighborhood of Royal Woods. With dark skies getting ready to set in, crowded by clouds, it's a nice time to get out and do something fun. This was yet another opportunity the family was willing to take. While the kids were gone with their parents to Spunky's Pizza Palace, the streets weren't exactly as active as it normally was. Nobody was outside to play, almost as if the neighborhood was an empty town filled with zero promises whatsoever.

In the doghouse outside, Charles laid on the grass, looking down at a few blades. His depressed mood he withheld had him omit a loud sigh. His paw grazed at a green blade as his mind was locked on the kids that took him in. He was sad, and yet he didn't know why. Not a single answer struck his little canine brain. It's just unexplainable to him.

Before he knew it, a cricket hopped up on the dog's snout. The inside of him felt a freezing sensation as he yelped and jumped back. Of course, Charles ended up shattering something, but that didn't matter to him. Was he that much of a fraidy animal to such a harmless insect?

"What? Nah." Charles faced the reader and waved a paw dismissively.

He had no problem chasing down and playing with a butterfly. It wasn't like it was going to attack him.

Just then, some muffled hip music blared inside the Loud House. Wonder what could be going on inside? Was there a party going on or what?

"Eh? Da heck's goin' on?" Charles shook his head as he walked to the doggy door before entering at a swift pace.

He entered the living room. "Hey! What's wit' da blarin' music? I'm tryin' ta—" He stopped himself as his sights caught a glimpse of the savage cat sitting comfortably in a chair, bopping his head to the rhythm. Walt flew around irritably as Geo plugged his ears up. It's like they couldn't take the heat, yet they weren't in the kitchen at the time. Valuable items started falling to the ground. A select few of them shattered into pieces, and the cat didn't even give a flying fur about it.

After two quick shifts of his peripheral view, Charles loudly asked. "What da everlovin' heck is goin' on here?!"

Cliff turned to Charles sinisterly. "Doin' stuff I ain't supposed ta be doin'! Why?!"

The dog shook his head. "But cat, ain't dis how we got all dem noise complaints?!"

Walt flew in to intervene. "We almost got our arses kicked out for that!"

Geo rolled in to ask a piercing question to the feline. "Don't you even care about us and our family?" He shrugged harshly.

"And why dis type of music of all da othuh tings ya coulda chose?" Charles curiously asked.

"Cause dog," Cliff whipped out a remote and muted the booming tunes before he turned to his three pals with a determined smirk that was hooked on his face. "Dis is what bad boys be listenin' to."

An awkward beat of pause ensued. It had his companion really confused as to what he was even talking about.

"I… huh?" Geo's head slanted a bit.

"Of course." Walt rolled his eyes.

Charles shrugged. "I really doan see where yer drivin' at wit' dis."

Cliff couldn't help but facepalm. Stuff like that was out for decades and he felt surprised that the dog and the hamster were just now discovering this. "I can't believe y'all dunno 'bout dis at all." He expressed dominance. "Dis is a time ta be alive! Dis is a time ta show ev'rybody who's da alpha in da pack!" Cliff's arms crossed as his smile of confidence ensued. "Ain't no time fer ya wimps to act like such doormats. It's time fer my pals ta step up fer rebellion in dis here joint!" His eyes squinted tight. "Dis is a time… ta be bad."

Silence lasted for at least a moment, trying to their best ability to marinate their thoughts about the feline's words. To no surprise, his pals still had a bit of confusion drifting around their mind. "I still dunno where yer goin' wit dis?" the dog spat.

Cliff fell forward. "Fer cryin' out loud!" He recovered, standing back up. "Ya doan wanna step outta yer comfort zone fer once in yer docile life 'n have some bit of fun?"

"Well of course I do, cat," He scoped around the living room. "But ya doan tink it's a lil' excessive ta trash da house like some kind of pig-sty?"

When the white hound least expect it, a random commercial aired on the television screen in front of the four mammals. Depicted as a pig dressed as some wannabe master of ceremonies, he spat some motivating words.

"So, you want to be bad, huh?" The pig uttered. "Well, let me tell ya somethin' I might add, eh." He got into the camera. "Start dominatin' yerself above dem all, da ladies will love ya fer it! Take a leak on someone's shoes! Have dose humans clean up after youse." He gestured to his pig pen. "My pen's so fresh, I could dirty it up all ovuh again, and be messier den before!"

Just then, as the pig kept rambling on, given his short span of attention, Charles picked up a pen he just happened to find on the floor. It was a special type of pen where clothes would dissolve after hanging it upside down for a while. Wait, someone actually owns that in the house? And with that, it happened. His eyes widened up and wagged frantically as he visualized inches of the lady's tender body. With a content smile, he said "Well, he ain't wrong about dat!"

"Wow, that's… an interesting pen." Walt blushed, staring the same way as the incited pooch.

"Never knew those were a thing." Geo stood speechless after that.

"Ya know what…" Charles continued looking at the pen before a heart flew up from behind. "Stuff like dis makes me wonduh what coulda been if I was still a bad dawg." He set the pen down carefully, almost as if it was a fragile object. "I miss doin' all dat crazy junk now. I still remembuh when me 'n da cat took dat van out fer a joyride."

"I'm still upset about that, to be honest," Walt landed beside the hamster. "You don't know how hard it is to keep secrets to those two adults. They'll always find ways of finding out something. We had to pretend to search for them and everything while you two were gone!"

"Yeah… it was a living nightmare." Geo added, throwing his head down.

"Still, we made it back unnoticed, right?" Cliff crossed his arms with a devious little smile. In agreement, Geo and Walt gave the cat a light nod. When he eventually shifted his gaze to the pup, he spat "Dere's a buncha stuff dat ya need ta do so you can prove yerself of bein' bad like me." He counted on his fingers progressively. "Wit' all yer docility, submissiveness, 'n even yer weird butt-sniffin' greetings, I'd obviously say ya went soft."

"Er… alright?" Charles uneasily answered. "I uh-"

Cliff playfully punched Charles on his arm. "At least ya got some bit of bad in ya, from bein' filthy in da mud 'n fartin' all ovuh da place at times."

"Has that baby of the family influenced you in some way?" Geo curiously asked.

"My eyes are on the red athlete." Walt spat.

"No time fer follow-up questions ya two." Charles turned to Cliff. "What do I hafta do ta prove myself?"

"Trust me, dawg." Cliff's eyes squinted. "Yer gonna see soon enough."

In the bedroom of Rita and Lynn Sr.'s, Charles scoped the interior around. He searched for the drawer that held something that the naughty feline himself had something in mind. Regarding the dog's usual, common way of searching for something, he was surprised at that one minor detail.

"I'm surprised ya ain't usin' yer nose to find somethin' fer me." Cliff said, eyes glued to the dog as he's about to open up a drawer.

"Are ya sure about dis cat?" the dog asked. "I tink dis is a little bit too much." He opened up a drawer, revealing several of Rita's clothes for nighttime use.

"Ah chillout a bit why don'tcha." Cliff reassured to the pup. "It ain't dat risky now. Besides, it's just us fer now."

Charles hopped inside the drawer, and popped back up with a pink brassiere on his head. Pointing to it, the dog curiously asked "Is dis what yer talkin' about?"

"Frilly!" Cliff reacted, flicking his tail as he rubbed his paws with a smile. "Ya hit da jackpot!"

Charles returned his answer with a bashful smile. After a quick chuckle and a blush, he removed the piece of clothing and spat "Well now, guess I am a naughty boy."

Cliff cringed a bit. "Yyyeah, ya might not wanna do dat."

The eldest child's bedroom door creaked open as the pet duo didn't hesitate to enter. Maybe there was something in there waiting for Charles to tackle. But really, this was Cliff's next phase of his training and gratification. Was he really going to go through with this? The only answer to that was to just sit there and watch the dog do his dirty work.

Charles looked back to Cliff. Conflict befell upon him as their eyes made a connection. Was the cat really confident that this will help him be a bad pooch? With just a sinister-looking nod, his answer was simply a yes. He looked back inside before he deeply inhaled and exhaled. His heart almost felt like it was racing, but he just wanted this over with.

"Okay, here goes." Charles uncomfortably uttered to himself. He walked over to one of the sister's drawers. They didn't care which one, he just went for one. Opening up a drawer, which happened to be filled to the brim with Lori's cyan-colored shirts, he stared down at them before he barely stuck the brassiere inside. This was getting a bit bad for the two. After trying to fit the clothing inside, the drawer would barely close up now.

From this point, some stuff had to be taken out. How did the eldest teenager even manage to fit that many clothes in one slot anyway? Charles growled at it. Trying to the best of his ability to push it back shut to no avail, he accidentally got the drawer to come off of its wheels. Hearing the sound of it had the dog's heart feel like it was dinged like a bell. "Uh oh." he uttered.

The cat, being the mischievous little animal he is, didn't seem to give a care in the world. As the devious dog looked back to him, he smiled and gave a thumbs up. "Yer doin' good dere, dawg!"

"Is dere even a point ta dis?" Charles asked.

Cliff bravely uttered "Oh well no!" He snapped his fingers before he pointed. "Dat's da whole point of bein' bad!" As he walked up to Charles, he had just about one more question to give to him. "How do ya feel? Feelin' da rush? Still feelin' like such a square?"

Charles' nervousness quickly shifted to fierce and determination. Walking to the door, he confidently spat "Bad, oh yeah, and-" He stepped on a toy duck, letting out a loud quack. "...no!"

Cliff's ears perked up as he left the room. "Well gee, dawg. I didn't tink ya had dat in ya."

"Doan get all soft on me now," Charles looked back. "Ya ain't seen nothin' yet!"

A minute or two later, a worthwhile montage ensued for the bad dog as heavy rock music played in his mind. Charles was in the living room, sinking his teeth into the couch. As the sound of tearing fabric ensued, it influenced the pooch to wag his tail. "Ha, take dat ya worthless pile of junk." Just then, Walt and Geo's mouths slowly started to grow agape.

The next thing the dog decided to do, was run around the kitchen with his muddy paws, tracking his steps all around. He let out a chuckle as he began to circle around the table. "Dis'll show dat mangy puss that I ain't soft like da rest of 'em!" After a few laps around, Charles spotted the baby of the family, giggling and waving her clean diaper around as if it was a lasso. Walking up to her, she let out a fart before she walked away into the dining room. It's almost like she didn't give a care in the world. "Ha. Nice one, kid!" Charles barked, lifting his hind leg to pass some gas just like she did. And with that, he followed her to the same room.

A few moments later, the dog sniffed about on the grass. Finding some plants in the distance, he walked over to them with a deceitful little snicker. Positioning himself, he peed on almost every petal of the flowers without even a care. Just then, their next-door neighbor Mr. Grouse burst his doors open to scold at him. "Dang it, Loud!" He walked to his plants, intending to shoo Charles away from his plants. "That's the last time your darn dog's goin' in my lawn!" The soaked plants began to wilt. Oh no. He'd really done it now. The old man's face began to turn red. Given that this wasn't the first time Charles had infiltrated his lawn, he'd left him with no other choice. He whipped out his phone, dialed some numbers and raised it to his ear. This was a good time to assert his own retribution… and teach a valuable lesson.

"Hello? Is this animal control? I'd like to file a report!" he said.

Heading down to Ketcham park for a little celebratory reward, Cliff patted Charles on his head. They were in some street garb, with shades, a hat and even a chain around their necks. He did great on asserting that dominance of his and showing that he wasn't one to mess with in the family. This was a good idea, that seemed to have turned out well, for the feline at least.

"Gee dawg," Cliff chuckled. "I'd never thought I'd say dis, but I'm startin' ta like ya a lot more fer whatcha did."

"Thanks, mate." Charles responded. "I can already feel my dominance assertin' at such a badarse pace!"

"Er… what?" Cliff was confused for a moment. "What did ya say? Are we really talkin' like dis now?"

Charles laughed. "It's funny, cause we've been talkin' like dis since da beginnin' of dis here saga." He gestured to the sky. "I almost feel da fame kickin' in from all dis chiz."

The cat rolled his eyes, having a feeling he knows where he was going. "Oh, doan be dat dawg."

Running into a couple of dogs of his kind as they freely roamed around the land, they gave off a little stare. They had no idea what he was donning at the time, but then again, they wanted to show off their dominance. Thinking Charles is just some wannabe bad boy trying to fit in with a bunch of other hounds, their staring turned to leering.

"Hey you, yer on our turf here!" one bulldog answered.

The dog glared back at them. "So what, bub?" He sat down and crossed his arms. "Ya doan run dis here joint."

Another bulldog growled. He was about the same size as the family dog himself. "Now now, no need fer ya ta resort ta disrespectin' here, ya lil' punk."

"It's too late fer dat, ya ain't gettin' no respect outta me." Charles spat his fire.

"Ya bettuh watch who yer talkin' to dere, ya runt."

Cliff whistled. He wasn't even looking. Charles stared down the relentless trio, testing them immensely just to see if they had the guts to retaliate against him. "Try me."

Silence lasted for at least a beat. The cocky pup asserted himself in front of the three bulldogs. Still not given a shred of convenience, they wanted to test him. The dogs were curious to see how bad Charles really is.

"Alright you. ya tink yer so tough?" one dog asked. "Why don'tcha take a leak on dat man ovuh dere?" He pointed to a harmless man, having a sip of lemonade. Once Charles noticed that there wasn't a top to his cup, it sparked a really bad idea.

The white pooch squinted his eyes. "I thought of somethin' even badduh den dat." He walked over to his cup and lifted his hind leg. After he relieved himself, the three dogs were left speechless, yet impressed. Cliff was in shock for a bit. He never did something like that.

Charles retrieved back to his pal with an evil snicker. As they all watched the oblivious man take another sip of his lemonade, the trio snickered just like the dog. Disgusted, the man quickly spit out his drink and cringed dramatically. "What the heck?! Why does it taste like that?" He concluded himself with a sickly green face afterwards, on the verge of vomiting.

Everybody sans Cliff was thrown into complete laughter. "How's dat fer bad?" Charles said, his arm playfully hitting the bulldog in his arm.

"Not bad for a runt like youse." The leader responded.

"I could do dat blindfolded!" The youngest dog spoke.

"Ya never been blindfolded before, how the heck would ya know?"

"Ya dunno what I do in my spare time, a'ight?" He winked cautiously.

The leader turned back to Charles as he walked away. "Now, how's dis fer bad?" Walking up to a moon bathing adult woman, relaxing herself as she let the rays do all the work, The leader of the pack looked at her and waggled his eyebrows.

As the group continued to look on, the dog got down to business. Everybody wasn't ready for what he just did, yet he managed to get everyone's tail to wag submissively. Cliff went as far as blushing, never mind that he tried to stop himself for letting that happen.

The leader ran away with the woman's clothes… that she got undressed with minutes ago. The woman chased him down immediately after. To him and the rest of his crew, that's what being bad felt like.

Cliff shook his head. Confusion filled him from what just happened. "Wow. Is it bad dat I honestly thought dat would go differently?"

"...Nah." Charles responded to his feline pal.

The youngest gave a glance to the cat. "Heh, I doan blame ya for a sec." He licked his lips.

The leader of the dogs approached them once again, only this time, the dog spat out a piece of the woman's clothes. The animals stood there without uttering a word. Out of everyone, Cliff was the most surprised. He honestly felt bad for the lady while the four mutts didn't show any kind of empathy. "Geez!"

"Hey look!" The leader spat. "Da puss here's a wuss!"

Cliff jumped a little, as if he took offense. "Scuse ya?"

The young one stepped in to lay one in. "Well, maybe I don't think yer dat hip fer us aftuh all!"

"It's fairly clear dat da one ter fer ya really lives up ta its name." The middle dog spat, unremorsefully.

Charles stood up for his pal. "Hey, dat ain't a nice ting ta say!"

The middle dog laid into the white pup without hesitance. "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought ya were a bad dawg!"

The leader crossed his arms. "What da everlovin' duck are ya thinkin', standin' up fer anothuh species?"

The middle dog grabbed Charles by the paw before he pulled him in close to his face. "Yer supposed ta be just like one of us!" He brought him in closer with each word he spat. "Bad, unremorseful, and feared by everybody!"

Charles thought about those words long and hard. "F...feared?" That one word made him had second thoughts about being bad. What he was inside, was a beautiful, fun-loving dog that liked to do several things with a family he had. From leaving poop on the couch to playing in the mud, that's what made him who he is today. He didn't have to change his image just to prove he had the guts to be a bad dog in town. Despite this being a little lesson he was taught before from Lana, he'd rather keep his pals instead of just throwing them away. In all seriousness, that's true friendship to him on a regular basis.

When Charles looked down, his neutral sadness quickly shifted over to determination. He wanted to try and talk things out and possibly showcase a little lesson that he had to share with the rest.

"Alright ya guys," Charles sighed. "I really hate ta spit dis outta my mouth but, I hafta confess somethin'..."

Before anybody else could screech and yell, a van approached the four dogs and a cat. It was none other than Animal Control themselves that work at the Green Mile Pet Sanctuary. Corinne stepped out of the van with a modified dog-proof net and glared at the animal party. "Alright, I've got a load of complaints about you dumb animals, you're coming downtown!" She gave out a very nefarious laugh.

Noticing that she wasn't paying any bit of attention in the slightest, the bulldogs, Charles and Cliff used that to their advantage as they mischievously smiled. Bolting towards the woman, the middle dog bit down at her leg. She reacted violently, trying to shake him off before the youngest bulldog attacked from the rear. With a chomp on her butt, she jumped in pain. From this point, it surprised them that she didn't use any backup.

"Hey, same some of that arse fer me!" Charles barked, making a request. Cliff gave the lady some hands. His scratching tore off a good portion of her green uniform, eventually causing her to fall down to the floor. There wasn't anybody else surrounding her to either witness or call for help. She could definitely use it right about now.

Still in immense pain, the lady spat "Agh! Why you little furball!" She got surrounded at every corner by the animals. Oh no. This wasn't going to have a pretty result. After they growled at her harshly, they all jumped her. A cloud ensued with dog barks and cat screeches before Corinne yelled out. They were getting her good. Ouch.

After a moment, the animal party disbanded and went their separate ways. This way, it'd be more time consuming to capture them. They all stopped to looked back at each other and give off a wink before both parties turned to their peers and gave off high-fives and fist bumps. Charles laughed it off along with Cliff before the trio did the exact same. Wow, that was some encounter they had.

"Gee, I nevuh thought bein' such a bad dawg would be dis fun!" Charles spat, bumping the cat.

"Heh, yeah," Cliff said. I'd hafta confess ta ya somethin on our way back home." He winked. "I'm sure you'll unduhstand why I wanted ya ta have some of dis here uh… experience!"

Charles chuckled. "Whatevs, puss."

The cat glared at him immensely. "I'm gonna hafta give ya dese claws if ya spit dat out yer mouth again."

"Okay, geez! No need for ya ta have a hissy fit wit' me."

Back at the house, Charles and Cliff ditched the garb they wore on them before they entered the doggy door. They figured it'd be time for dinner by the time they returned. With two bowls filled with meat lovers pizza, and the whole family returned from their trip, everything seemed to be normal for them. Walt and Geo waved to them as they chowed down on a piece.

"Hey." Walt uttered.

"Where were you guys?" Geo questioned.

As they dragged their bowls to them, Charles dug in before Cliff could speak. "Dat ain't none of yer bidness, Ham."

Geo's expectations threw way out of proportion from his response. "I was only asking, geez!"

"And there goes a phrase that really lives up to its name." Walt rolled his eyes with a smirk on his face.

"Yet I'm still standin' here." Cliff spat before he stuck his face into his grub.

Charles licked his lips free from the grease before his tail wagged. "Dis is some good food here!"

The cat glanced to the dog. "Ya ain't wrong dere."

"Thanks fer a good time tonight." The pup winked.

"No problem, dawg." The cat concluded with a pat to his head, causing the latter to react playfully. As the rest of the group continued eating, they heard a noisy conversation from upstairs.

"Lincoln! Have you been in my drawer?"

"What? No!"

"Girls, I'm missing a bra from my drawer!"

As the pets all gave awkward glances towards each other for a moment, the dog out of everyone couldn't help but whistle a tune as innocently as he could. Welp, who's bad?

~End~