User blog:AustinDR/Luan's Problem

It was another day at the Loud House; granted, there was ruckus as usual, but it is to be expected. However, what was particularly special about this day was that it was Lincoln's birthday. While the parents and Lincoln's sisters were preparing for the party, they were shy one person. Luan, the resident comedian, had been spending a few hours in Lincoln's bedroom, applying dozens of fireworks to Lincoln's door frame. Each firework was set to go off the moment that Lincoln walks into the room. If everything goes according to plan, Lincoln would have the biggest surprise of his life. True, Luan's pranks tend to go awry, but Luan made certain that everything would go off with a hitch. With match in hand, Luan unceremoniously lights the stack of fireworks, and quietly exited the room.

Luan: This will make his birthday a real blast (giggles).

Rita and Lynn Sr. decided that for their son's special day, they were all going to eat at a nearby restaurant, following that up with a trip to the movie theaters. After a head count, they saw that everyone was accounted for. Everyone, that is, except Luan. Lynn Sr. looked down at his watch, then back at the stairs.

Lynn Sr.: I wonder what Luan's up to?

Rita: In fact, I haven't seen her all day. I remember she said something about doing something special for Lincoln.

Lisa: If I may,I seem to recall that Luan was conducting something in Lincoln's room.

Lincoln: (sighs) Well, I guess I should go up there. It's probably one of her dumb pranks again.

Luan heard Lincoln walking up the stairs. Laughing to herself, Luan quickly hides behind a tall, potted plant across the hall from Lincoln's room. Lincoln arrives to the door to his room, and knocks on it.

Lincoln: Luan, I know you're in there. You better get out now.

Luan started to giggle at how clueless her brother was to the impending prank, only to stop when he glanced in her direction. After some moments of silence, Lincoln was about to leave, but sounds of sizzling were emitting from the wooden frame. Baffled, Lincoln wraps his hand around the door, only to realize that it was sealed.

Lincoln: Stupid doorknob, work!

He applies both of his hands onto the doorknob in a desperate attempt to pry the door open. Without any warning, the door flies open. To his surprise, he saw that fireworks were lined across his door frame. He scratches his head in curiosity.

Lincoln: What the?!.....

The fireworks explode in a succession, causing Lincoln to fly out of the room. The force of the blast propels Lincoln off the stairs, much to Luan's horror. Lincoln fell from the two-story stairway, and hit the ground with a hard thud. Lincoln's right leg shatters upon impact, and blood was starting to pile underneath him. His family heard the sickening sound, and immediately run into the living room. What they saw was simply nightmarish. Rita wept bitterly as Lynn Sr. consoled her, and the nine sisters were gathered around Lincoln's body. Lori bent down to Lincoln's level, panic-stricken.

Lori: (frantic) Lincoln, Lincoln! Wake up.

She shakes him a few times for a response to no avail. Each of the sisters took turns trying to elicit a response to Lincoln, but it seems that there wasn't any hope for him. While they were crying over his body, Lola speaks up when she hears a door slam upstairs.

Lola: Guys! Someone's up there!

Lana: I bet it's that no good Luan!!

All nine sisters sprinted across up the stairway in a flurry of anger and sorrow. They gut each others' bedrooms in their frenzied search for the comedian, but she was no where to be found. As they were about to leave, they hear the bathroom door slowly creak open. Without as much of an ado, they dash towards the bathroom door in the nick of time. Luan desperately tried to shut the door on her vengeful sisters only for them to pry the door open themselves. Luan was backed into a corner. She held her hands up, fully expecting them to hit her. However, she was only met by their angry glares. Each sister had a look of pure, unadulterated hatred on their faces, causing Luan to jump back in fright.

Lori: Our brother is literally unconscious right now because of you!

Leni: Like, what were you thinking?!!

Luan: (nervous) I-I-I'm sorry...I just thought....

Lynn: Spit it out, or there will be hell to pay!

Luan: (calmly) I just wanted to surprise him!

Lori: (sarcastically) Oh, you surprised him alright. When are you going to learn that you're not funny?!!

Luan: (shocked) I-I'm no...

Luna: Your jokes suck, dude.

Lana: Your comedy shtick stinks!

Lucy: But then there's your pranks. They are simply the worst. You never take time to think that doing these pranks will result in harm!

Sisters: Yeah!

Lori: You could've killed our brother!!

Luan: I'm sorry....I just thought....

Lori: (laugh) You thought? That's a riot! Since when do you ever think? Oh, I know. Your puns. You always think that you're being clever by making puns, but face it: you know nothing about humor in the slightest!

Lisa: You're th only one who laughs at such schlock. The only reason why we laugh at you is because we felt sorry for you.

Luan: (shocked) Wh.....

Lori: This was supposed to be Lincoln's special day, and you ruined it. You know what? You're officially no longer my sister.

Sisters: If we weren't related, we would've dumped you a long time ago!

The sisters all leave a crestfallen Luan alone in the bathroom. Mucus and fresh tears slowly falled down her face, causing her to wipe them away using toilet paper. Dejected by her own family, Luan subconsciously crawls into a ball, a coping mechanism of sorts.

Luan: Lincoln....I'm sorry.