User blog:Chanyhuman/Link or Swim (Genderbent Linc or Swim)

The fallowing is a Genderbent version of Linc or Swim.

Story

[The sun is shining brightly, the sound of mosquitos buzzing, and splashing of water can be heard; Camera cuts to a sign reading "Royal Woods Community Pool". The camera zooms down to reveal Linka, wearing a one piece swimsuit, stepping out of the changing room and tugging her one piece nice and tightly.]

Linka: "Ah! On a hot summer day, there's nothing like a refreshing dip in the community pool." [She rushes towards the pool.] "CANNONBALL!"

[The sound of a whistle puts her to a stop; The camera goes up, showing a concerned look on her face.]

Lifeguard: "Loud family, out!"

[The Loud siblings are seen leaving the pool.]

Lynn: "But we were just having fun."

Lifeguard: "Chicken fights during Senior Swim are not "fun"."

Mr. Jelinski: *shaking his fist in anger* "I just replaced this hip!"

[The other seniors look back at the kids with ether concerned or angry looks on their faces.]

[Screen wipes to show a sign called "Huntington Oaks Community Pool". Camera pans down to show Linka stepping out of the changing room, tugging on her one piece to check if it's on right.]

Linka: *sighs* "On a hot summer day, there's nothing like a refreshing dip in the community pool... one town over." [Linka once again prepares to do a cannonball.] "CANNONBALL!"

[Like last time, the sound of a whistle stops Linka, the camera pans up, to reveal her face, which has a rather infuriated look.]

Lifeguard: "Loud family, out!"

[The Loud siblings are seen leaving, while the lifeguard shoves Linka out. Leif can be seen holding a spoon.]

Leif: "But we were just having fun."

Lifeguard: "Drinking pool water is not fun."

Leif: "But it tastes like chicken noodle soup."

Lifeguard: "Fine, but did you have to add the celery and carrots?"

[The camera cuts to the pool, revealing that Leif had littered the pool with slices of celery and carrots; The lifeguard scoops some of these slices out with her pool skimmer.]

[Screen wipes to show another sign which reads "HazeltuckyCommunity Pool." A rooster crows and goat bleating can be heard in the background. The camera pans down to show Linka once again stepping out of the changing room, but looks rather irritated.]

Linka: "On a hot summer day, oh, you know the rest." [She once again tries to do a cannonball.] "CANNONBALL!"

[Linka finally jumps in, but at that moment, the lifeguard blows his whistle and quickly catches Linka with his skimmer, Linka then gets mad.]

Lifeguard: "Loud family, out!" [He drops Linka out his skimmer.]

[The Loud siblings are seen leaving once again.]

Loki: "But we were just having fun."

Leon: "Poo-poo."

Lifeguard: "Fecal incidents are not fun."

[Camera cuts to the now empty pool, where people in hazmat suits scrub the walls of the pool to get rid of Leon’s waste while pedestrians watch.]

[Camera shows another glance of the sun, then it shows the eleven siblings walking home.]

Loki: "Come on, guys. We'll just find another pool."

Levi: "Actually, we've been suspended from every aquatic recreation center within a 60-mile radius."

[The group stops and groans with frustration.]

Loki: "Seriously? How are we gonna keep cool now?"

[The boys start grumbling in frustration.]

Linka: "So that's it, then. No more pool for the Louds." *gets an idea* "That's it! 'Pool for the Louds!' Why didn't I think of that sooner?" *Runs off while her brothers keep grumbling. *

[At the Good Sport Sporting Goods, Linka is looking for a new swimming pool and picks up the DELUX SWIMMING POOL which is Muscle Fish approved and has a warning label that says it has dangerous levels of fun and is a drowning hazard.]

Linka: "Whoa. This is the perfect family pool. Just imagine..."

[Linka daydreams about getting ready to dive into her new pool.]

Linka: "On a hot summer day, there's nothing like a refreshing dip in your own pool." *starts charging toward it* "CANNONBALL!!!" [Linka suddenly comes to a screeching halt.]

Lexx: "Ah ah ah! Don't you dare splash me, Linka Loud! This outfit cannot get wet." [Apparently, it is revealed that her brothers have taken up the whole pool, even in her own fantasy.]

Linka: "But it's a swimsuit."

Lexx: *taunts* "This is a Hawaiian shirt, you Philistine."

Leif: *adding the celery and carrots and singing.* "Papa’s little baby loves shortenin', shortenin" *scoops some water up and takes a sip.*

Lynn: "Who wants to chicken fight?"

[Luke lets out a war cry. ]

Loni: *with a chicken on his back* "I'm in!"

[The chicken tries to escape while Loni holds on tight.]

Leif: "Mmm... just what my soup needs..."

Linka: "I can't even get into the pool in my own fantasy!"

Loki: "FECAL INCIDENT!"

[All the boys except Leon run away for obvious reasons.]

Linka: "NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

[The fantasy, then ends.]

Linka: "Maybe not so perfect." *puts it back and finds an individual one. * "Oh! Paradise for One. Just imagine..." *imagines herself in the pool with a small island in the middle of the ocean. * "Now this is a pool I can really get into." *singing and heading for the exit* "Linka’s little baby loves shortenin', short-" *triggers the alarm* "Whoops. Gotta pay first." *heads to counter to check out*

[The Loud House; the boys are in the kitchen trying to cool off with the contents from the freezer; Linka sees them and tries to hide her pool kit from them.]

Loni: "Hey, Link. Want to chill with us?"

Lane: "'Chill'! Good one, Loni!" *laughs*

Loni: "Good what?"

Linka: "Thanks, but I don't mind the heat. But, uh, you guys keep cool in here. Definitely no reason to go outside. I wouldn't even bother looking out there. Am I talking too much? I feel like I'm talking too much." *leaves*

Levi: "She’s clearing suffering the first symptoms of heat stroke. Now, pass the frozen succotash."

[Lynn throws him the succotash.]

Leif: "Scoot over. You're melting the broccoli."

Lexx: "Well, stop breathing on the frozen carrots!"

Lane: "Hey, Lynn, can you grab that bag of peas? Peas and thank you!" *laughs while his brothers groan*

[While they're trying to cool off, Linka sneaks off into the backyard.]

Linka: *breathing heavily* "Phew." *dumps out pool kit and sees instructions* "The manual? Psst. Who needs the manual?" *tries to set up pool only making it look like a camping tent.* "What the?" *tries again and makes it look like a sailboat; tries again and this time, it looks like a unicorn; wrestles with it and gets bucked into the trash can; pulls out the manual.* "Ah, the manual. Everyone needs the manual." *unfolds it*

[The first thing she tries is using a bike pump to inflate it, but it breaks.] Linka: "Whoops." *sees the nozzle* "I guess it's just you and me now." *blows into it a few times but gets too lightheaded to keep trying; passes out for a bit and now half of her body is sunburned; she then touches it.] "Ouch! My sunburn!" [She tries pumping the pool up with a pair of bellows and inflates it perfectly and closes the nozzle and notices a bee.] "Oh, no, you don't..." *shoos it away, gets chased by it, and gets stung. * "I sure showed that bee." [the bee stings the pool and pops it.] "Dang it." [The pool gets a patch where the sting occurred and is fully inflated and Linka is hosing water into it and notices the shadow from the tree is casting over it; she then moves the pool towards the sun while the water comes out and now the pool is empty; she then touches her two painful spots.]

Linka: "Ouch! My sunburn and my bee sting!"

[After a while, she finally manages to it set up.]

Linka: "And now, to suit up and cool down." *charges off and runs into trash can* "Ouch! My sunburn and my bee sting and my twisted ankle!"

[Linka has changed into her one piece, finally ready to chill in her paradise for one.]

Linka: "On a hot summer day, there's nothing like a refreshing dip in your own pool." *charges* "CANNONBALL!" *comes to a screeching halt* "Aah!" *finds that Loki and Loni have found out about the pool and are now lying in it. * "How the... when did... what are you guys doing here?"

Loki: "Linka, this is literally genius. Who's gonna kick us out of our own pool? Right?" *raises a toast with Loni. *

Loni: "Are you getting in? There's totes room for one more."

Linka: "Um, actually..." *shows them the box* "... there's only room for one. See? Says so on the box. Paradise for-

Lynn: *lunges onto Linka* "CHICKEN FIGHT! I call Linka!"

[Linka tries to get up, but is struggling to carry Lynn on her shoulders.]

Lynn: "Come on, partner! You gotta plant those feet!"

Linka: "Whoa!" *collapses* "Oof!"

[The boys are having a pool party right in their backyard while Leon is running around in the nude.]

Linka: *chasing him with his diaper* "Leon! No skinny dipping!" *gets splashed by Lynn and sees Levi adding some kind of chemical. * "Levi! No! What do you think you're doing?"

Levi: "Testing sanitation levels. I've concocted a special serum that will detect and eliminate urine, AKA tinkle, in H2O."

Linka: "I'm sure no one here would-"

[Levi adds the serum anyway and the water evaporates and bursts into a pink smoke in seconds; it reveals that all of his older brothers had peed in the pool, hinted by their rosy cheeks.]

Levi: "Hmm... unprecedented levels."

[Linka washes the pool and refills it and the party continues; Lane and Loni are playing Marco Polo.]

Lane: "Marco!"

Loni: "Marco!"

Lane: "No, Loni. I'm Marco. You're Polo."

Loni: "Then who's Loni?"

[Lane was surprised, Leon is about to go skinny dipping again.]

Linka: "No no no no no no!" *grabs him and puts him in his diaper* "No fecal incidents in my pool! I'm watching you, Leon." *sees Lars floating and gasps in horror* "Lars? I didn't know you liked to swim."

Lars: "I'm not swimming. I'm trying to see if I'm a warlock. Am I floating?"

Linka: "Yes."

Lars: "Wicked."

[Leon has escaped his diaper once again.]

Linka: *chases him* Get back here!"

[Its shows Lynn with a pool noodle with Leif is standing on the edge, as Lexx lying.]

Lynn: "You know what your soup needs? Noodles!" *bonks Leif with a pool noodle. * Leif: *grabs one* "Bring it!"

Lexx: "STOP SPLASHING ME!"

Linka: "Guys, no horseplay!"

Lane: "What about elephant play?" [Lane blow through one of the noodles, and blasts Linka with a jet of water while sounding like an elephant, which makes Leif, Lynn, and Lexx laugh.]

Linka: *flies right onto Bebe. * "Huh? Bobby? What are you doing here?"

Bebe: "Loki said there was an opening for a lifeguard at Casa Loud." *blows whistle* "Everyone out! Senior swim!"

Linka: "What? There aren't any old people here!"

Loki: "Um, hello! High school senior?" *points to self and gets in* "Shoo shoo. Oh, this really is paradise for one."

[Linka gets mad, as she grabs Bebe’s whistle, and blows it.]

Linka: "THAT...IS...IT!

[Linka gets everyone’s attention and Lynn bonks Leif with his noodle.]

Linka: "In case you guys haven't noticed, this is my pool! I bought it and spent all day setting it up, and I haven't even gotten into it yet! I'm too busy keeping all of you from ruining it!"

Lynn: "But we were just having fun!"

Linka: "Loud family, out!"

[Everyone loathingly leaves.]

Linka: "Finally. Time to... CANNONBALL!" *charges at the pool and comes to yet another screeching halt. * "What? Warning. No cannonballs. May cause tears. How did I not notice this before? Eh, I'll just rip this off." *notices another label* "No removing the warning label? Sheesh! What can I do?" *gets in* "That's all right. This is still gonna be paradise for one." [Linka starts to get a little bored and tries doing some of the things her brothers did like kicking back, lounging, playing Marco Polo...] "Marco! Marco!" [... and playing with the noodles, but nothing interests her, and she pulls out a carrot slice from Leif’s soup recipe.] "Ugh!" [She then tosses it aside; she remembers all the fun her brothers had and misses them; she hears some splashing.] "What's going on?" *goes to check it out*

[It turns out the boys and Bebe are hanging out front with the deluxe swimming pool Linka originally planned to get, with Luke playing on a steel drum, and Loki taking photos of his darling lifeguard.]

Loki: "Oh, that's fierce, babe."

[Lynn and Leif are resuming their noodle fight.]

Lynn: *strikes* "En garde!"

Leif: *counters and knocks Lynn into the water* "Have at thee! Ha!"

Lexx: *sealing up his swim outfit in a protective wrap* "Just because I'm fabulous doesn't mean I can't have fun." *slides down and swims* "La-la-la, la-la-la...”

[Lars and Leon apply sunscreen to each other.]

Luke: "Okay, this time, instead of Marco Polo, why don't we just use our real names?"

Loni: "Okay. So, I'm..." *sees his sister* "Linka?"

Lane: "Boy, you really don't get this game at all, do you?" *then notices what Loni meant* "Oh, hey, Link!"

Linka: "Hey, guys... what's all this?"

Loki: "Well, little sis, you had such a good idea in buying your pool, we decided to-"

Lane: "-pool our money to get this one!" *laughs as everyone groans with annoyance; gets bonked by Lynn's noodle. * "That's using your noodle!" *laughs some more* "Ow."

Loni: "Aren't you gonna get in? There's totes room for one more."

Linka: "You're gonna let me use your pool, even though I kicked you out of mine?"

Lexx: "Well, she was kind of a meanie."

Lars: "Not to mention selfish."

Loki: "And bossy."

Bebe: "And she stole my whistle!"

Lane: "But that doesn't mean she can't use our pool."

Linka: "Really?"

Lynn: "Well, duh. It's more fun with all of us."

Loni: "Yeah! All ten of us!"

Lars: "Loni, there are eleven of us."

Loni: "Oh, that's right. I forgot Marco."

Linka: "Well, in that case... CANNONBALL!!!" [*cannonballs right in*

[Unfortunately, they don't know that there's a warning label that prohibits cannonballs on the INSIDE of the pool. So the cannonball destroys the pool and ruins their party.]

Luke: "Whoa, dude... looks like pool's out for summer."

Loki: "How we are gonna keep cool now?"

Levi: "I'll go get the frozen succotash."

Linka: "No worries, guys. I got just the thing."

[Everyone is cramped inside Paradise for One, making it paradise for a dozen.]

Linka: *to the audience* "So, it turns out that a pool, and basically everything that's awesome in life, is more fun when everyone gets to be a part of it."

[Bebe blows her whistle.]

Bebe: "Fecal incident!"

Kids: "LOUD FAMILY, OUT!"

[All except Leon get out of the pool, making it pretty obvious that Leon was the one who cause of the fecal incident.]

Leon: *giggles in his own paradise for one. *

Trivia 


 * Tip; Sharing is caring, even if it’s a pool, (regardless of size.)
 * The original was written by Karla Sakas Shropshire.
 * Please support the official release.