User blog:Epar Lana/The Louds MST The Irate Gamer S1E2

Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=unzShNHS_Ag

The scene opens up to the Louds sitting on the couch again, in the same spots as last time. “Hey again, everyone! This is Lincoln, and these are my sisters!”

“Hi!” said eight of them.

“Greetings, homo sapiens,” said Lisa.

“Hiyahh!” said Lily.

“Today we’re going to watch another of Chris-Tube’s videos,” said Lincoln. “So sit back, and enjoy the show!”

Numerous pictures from the Where’s Waldo books appear, and Bores says, “Back in the early 90’s, kids everywhere became introduced to the book series entitled, Where’s Waldo. It instantly became a big hit with younger kids, as they dedicated hours of trying to find Waldo and his friends. Within the following weeks, there came a slew of Where’s Waldo products.”

Bores holds up the original Where’s Waldo? book and the Where’s Waldo? In Hollywood book. “Books.”

A Where’s Waldo “Waldo doll” appears. “Toys.”

A page from a Where’s Waldo? book appears. “Magazines.”

“That doesn’t look like a magazine,” said Lori.

The title screen of the Where’s Waldo? cartoon appears. “And even a Saturday morning cartoon show.”

The camera shows Bores take out the NES cartridge of the game. “But with every big hit, comes the inevitable curse of c***** merchandising.” He zooms in on a picture of the cartridge, showing THQ’s logo. “And for some reason, someone at THQ thought it would be a good idea to turn this hit book series into a piece of s*** video game.”

“He just cussed again!” complained Lola.

“I don’t think there’s gonna be a video where he doesn’t swear, Lola,” said Lincoln.

More pictures of the books appeared, and Bores said, “Now, what exactly do they think a game like this is going to accomplish, that the books can not?”

Bores puts the cartridge into the NES and says, “Well, time to pop this video game in and find out.”

The game’s title screen appears, and Bores says, “After getting past the startup screen, you have your option of selecting your difficulty level. I guess we’ll start off on the easy setting for now. No need to have the s*** hitting the fan all at once.”

Lincoln shudders at that metaphor.

“You OK, little bro?” asked Luna.

Lincoln, not wanting to tell her his and Clyde’s day of taking care of Lily, said, “I’m just a little chilly.”

“Oh. OK!”

'''Waldo is traveling to the train station, the first level on the map. “So in this first level…” starts Bores, but he stops once the level appears on screen. “Holy f***! It’s a pixelated wasteland of 8-bit objects! Just how the h*** are we supposed to find anything in this mess?”'''

“What did you expect it to look like? It’s an 8-bit console!” said Lynn angrily.

'''The camera cuts to Bores, who looks at the camera and says, “Now let me just stop right here and reiterate that someone at THQ thought it would be a very good idea to turn this into a video game. D*********.”'''

“We needed to be reminded,” said Lana, annoyed.

“Yeah, I forgot!” said Leni, missing the sarcasm again.

'''The level re-appeared, though everything appeared to be in different places than when it first appeared. “At first glance, you see a bunch of things that are red and white striped. But is it Waldo?” Bores clicks on a character, and gets buzzed. “Nope.” He moves his cursor to a different character and says, “Alright, let’s try this guy. At least I think it’s a guy.” He gets buzzed again. “You know, I gotta say: it would be a whole h*** of a lot easier if the controls weren’t so jerky and sensitive. If you just tap the button, the box goes flying right across the screen, and it takes an exact science just to get the cursor positioned in the right place.” He clicks on a third character, and he gets a different, happier sound this time. He then zooms in on said character and places a green circle around him. “So after all that, this is Waldo. I have a better time trying to find a piece of cat s***.” The level changes its characters’ positions again, with a stock image of excrement in the lower right corner. “Hey, there it is!” says Bores, who clicks on it and gets the happy sound.'''

The other Louds looked at this in disgust, while Lily pointed at the screen and said, “Poo poo!”

The map screen re-appears, and Bores says, “After you manage to pass a level, the game switches back to the main map, and you can watch as Waldo travels to his next destination, which becomes a long and drawn out process for some reason.”

The camera changes to Bores trying to push the buttons on his controller, followed by him punching it, and finally flipping it off. “And no matter which button you push, it doesn’t do a d*** thing to bypass this long trip.”

The screen changes back to the map screen, and Bores comments, “F***, I guess we’ll just have to wait for him to get there.” After a pause, he adds, “Come on.”

Bores facepalms, then checks his watch before giving an exaggerated look of exasperation to the camera.

The map screen re-appears exactly where it was before the scene cut. Bores is then shown drinking a can of Coca-Cola, then eating a bag of garden salsa flavored Sun Chips, then finally brushing his teeth, before the screen finally cuts to Waldo entering the cave.

“Yeah, no. There’s no way he did all that that fast,” said Luan.

“Scene cuts. Gotta love ‘em,” Lucy said sarcastically.

The screen shows the cave level. “Once you get to the third level, the screen goes completely dark,” says Bores. “Now, how the h*** am I supposed to find Waldo in a dark cave? The screen is almost completely black! Now, every once in a while, Waldo will pop up for a split second, just to give you a general idea of where he’s at. But every incorrect click means time off your counter, so the level becomes a complete c********.”

The camera cuts to Bores again, who says, “Again, let me just reiterate that someone at THQ thought it would be a good idea...aw, f*** it!”

The Louds breathed a sigh of relief.

The camera turns back to the game, where Bores says, “Now there are various levels that take you all over the landscape. But where are all of Waldo’s friends? Where’s Wizard Whitebeard? Or the dog? Or the evil Waldo?” As he names them off, pictures of each one appears.

Pictures of the outside and inside of the books appear, and Bores says, “In the books, they give you all sorts of things to look for in order to get your money’s worth out of it.”

The game re-appears, and Bores says, “But this game has only one purpose: to find Waldo. So where’s the replay value in that?”

Bores appears and says, “I mean, s***; Waldo can stay lost for all I care!”

The game re-appears, and Bores says, “Now, towards the end of this game, you’re gonna reach a very odd minigame. The point is to match Waldo up in all three windows of this slot machine lookin’ thing. Let’s just hope the next level is better than this garbage.”

After Bores finishes the slot machine, the game switches to Waldo landing on the moon. “So now the rocket blasts off, and Waldo lands on the moon. For what reason, I have yet to understand. But now, uh…” The game shows a progress bar being filled all the way up, showing he beat the game, and then it cuts to the title screen. “What the h*** just happened?! Now I’m back at the startup screen?!”

A shocked and angered Bores exclaims, “Are you kidding me?! There’s no ending or anything?! This is the biggest piece of s*** I ever played! Where’s the ending to this game, and why is Waldo on the moon?! I just hope we can leave him there along with this s***** game!” As Bores says the last sentence, the camera cuts back to Waldo on the moon, and a picture of the cartridge appears with a thump sound.

“I’ve ever played, Mr. Bores,” corrected Lisa.

“Why would you want to leave Waldo for dead over a game you don’t like? That sounds kinda harsh, bro,” said Luna.

The moon picture transitions to a blue background with the game logo in the top right corner. “I just don’t understand why they couldn’t have come up with a proper ending for this game,” says Bores. “How about something like, ‘Congratulations on beating this game,’ or, ‘Great job! Thank you for playing this game.’” As he says these quotes, white text scrolls itself onto the picture, saying his quotes. “Thank” and “you” noticeably don’t have a space between them.

The game cuts back to the moon. “But no, there’s absolutely nothing, and it shows a complete lack of effort on their part to provide a decent game to the public,” says Bores. “Hey, here’s an idea. Why not create an ending that’s being honest about the product? Something like, ‘Thank you for spending your hard earned money on our game. We understand that you’ve just spent 20 precious minutes of your life playing our s***** game, but you’ll never get those minutes back. You are all suckers!!!’” Once again, white text scrolls Bores’ words onto the aforementioned blue screen, with no space between “thank” and “you.” “No ending. What the f***?”

“Very professional,” Luan said sarcastically.

Bores says while grabbing the SNES cartridge for The Great Waldo Search, “Now if that wasn’t enough, THQ decided to come out with another Where’s Waldo game; this time, for the SNES.” He looks at the cartridge and adds, while shaking his head, “G** help us all.”

The title screen appears, and Bores says, “Now, this game is entitled, The Great Waldo Search. I’m not sure how this game got called ‘Great’ anything, but let’s not be hasty and judge a book, I mean game, by it’s cover.”

“Wow; you just ruined a good chance at a pun right there,” said Luan.

'''The first level of the game appears. “Now, after starting this game, right away you’ll see a vast improvement in graphics,” says Bores. He shows the NES and the SNES version and says, “It’s absolutely amazing compared to the original. So maybe it could turn out to be a decent game after all.”'''

“At it again with the unfair comparison between the NES and the SNES!” complains Lynn.

'''Now Bores was on the second level. “You can tell that these stages have been totally revamped from the NES version, and things look so much crisp and clear.”'''

“Improper grammar at the end; either ‘so much more crisp and clear,’ or ‘so much crisper and clearer’ will do,” said Lisa.

'''The fourth level appears, and Bores says, “One thing I’m surprised to see is the addition of other Waldo characters.” He shows Wizard Whitebeard during the difficulty select screen. “Like Wizard Whitebeard.” He then shows Woof during a minigame. “And Waldo’s dog.” He then shows him looking thrilled to be playing the game while saying, “I can honestly say that for the first five minutes I was playing this game, I was mildly entertained.” However, we then see a bunch of cuts of progressively exaggerated anger, with Bores saying, “But I gotta say, the novelty of this game just wore off quick, and my irate nature was running on all four cylinders.”'''

“I have a feeling he was playing up his anger there,” said Lincoln.

The third level appears, and Bores says, “Once you complete the second level, the game ends up becoming very repetitive, and your search becomes very boring. I really think that this would’ve been better if it were a side-scrolling adventure game. At least there would be a lot more to do.”

Now Bores was finishing the final level, and the game over screen appears after that. “And after you get done playing for about ten minutes, and completing five different levels, the game ends. Now wait a minute.” He has all five levels appear. “So you mean there’s only five levels in this entire game? The original Nintendo version had more levels than this!” The screen turns green, and text corresponding with Bores’ following quote appears. “So let’s quickly do the math here. Now, if you remember, NES games purchased back in the day ended up costing around $40, so if there’s only five levels in this game, that means you’re spending $8 per level. What a f****** rip-off!”</b>

“SNES games, you mean?” asked Lana.

“Not to mention they usually cost at least $50,” said Lincoln, who held up his phone screen again.

A clip from Super Mario World appears, and Bores says, “It’s pretty much a slap in the face when you have other NES games like Super Mario World; they have a total of 96 levels to run around in.”

Lana groaned.

A clip from Donkey Kong Country appears, and Bores says, “As well as Donkey Kong Country, which has close to a hundred very complex levels to explore.”

The Wizard Whitebeard part of the game re-appears, and Bores says, “So you know d*** well they could’ve made a lot more levels for us to explore.”

The third level re-appears, and Bores says, “It makes you wonder how quickly they slapped this game together, in order to sell it kids who were hoping that they just purchased a great game.”

The title screen re-appears, with Bores zooming in and highlighting the “Great” in the title. Voice raised, he blurts out, “Like it just so happens to say in the title, Great Waldo Search! Great Waldo Search? What a great load of s***!”</b>

“Ha ha ha ha, NO. That makes GoAnimate rant openings sound funny by comparison,” said an annoyed Luan.

Bores appears and says, “And after playing these two games, I don’t care where the f*** Waldo is, but if I ever find him anywhere near my NES system again...!” The screen cuts to his NES and SNES system as he delivers a rather unpleasant threat, and a stock yelp sound plays after Bores makes said threat.

The siblings were uncomfortable at that scene. “Why only the NES; what happened to the SNES? Again?!” Lana cried out in exasperation.

'''Bores holds a copy of each game he had just played and says, “Do yourself a favor, and avoid these games at all costs, because there’s only one thing to do with these games: that’s right; f****** shred the b*******.” He gets up and runs both games through a shredder, then holds up his middle finger. The screen then cuts to black.'''

“All over games you don’t like?! Dude, I’m honestly starting to become worried about the safety of those games on your shelf, bro!” said a worried Luna.

“He honestly makes the Mysterious Mr. Enter look sane by comparison,” said Lincoln.

“Who’s he?” asked Leni.

“You don’t need to know.”

“I wouldn’t mind wanting to know either, Linc,” said Lori.

“Yeah! Tell us, Linky!” said Lola.

“Forget it; I’d rather tell you about that time Clyde and I tried to change Lily’s diaper, and it hit the ceiling fan!” Lincoln blurts out. He suddenly hides his mouth with his hands and says, “Oops.”

The sisters were silent. Suddenly, they started laughing and pointing at him. Lincoln, very annoyed, walked out of the scene to go to his room.

THE END