User blog:PicholasStripes2000/The Loud House's Vintage Vocalizations!

Version 1
Announcer: Hey folks! Now you can hear all your all-time faves from the good old days with The Loud House's Vintage Vocalizations! Over 100 beautifully restored tracks as performed by Roachdale's greatest singing sensation the Cockroach Glee Club, including, "Put On Your Old Grey Bonnet"!

Cockroach Glee Club: Put on your old grey bonnet with the blue ribbon on it,

While I hitch old Dobbin to the shay,

And through the fields of clover, we'll drive up to Dover

On our golden wedding day.

Lana: No! Leave me alone! I don't wanna! (A cockroach smacks her.)

Announcer: As well as, "Waltz Me Around Again, Willie"!

Cockroach Glee Club: Waltz me around again, Willie

Around, around, around

The music is dreamy, it's peaches and creamy

Oh don't let my feet touch the ground

I feel like a ship on an ocean of joy

I just want to holler out loud "Ship ahoy!"

Oh waltz me around again, Willie

Around, around, around.

Lana: Whoa! (crash) Ouch! I'm okay, but seriously, who put me in this stupid dress?!?

Announcer: And who could possibly forget that timeless classic, "Speaking of the Weather"?

Cockroach Glee Club: Speaking of the weather, mm-hm.

Speaking of the weather, mm-hm.

Speaking of the weather, it isn't the humidity, it's you.

Lana: (to the audience) Who could possibly forget it? Just about everybody. But you know? It's not bad as long as I'm not hurt.

(Suddenly a lightning bolt strikes her!)

Lana: Dang it! (She collapses on the floor.)

Announcer: Yes, it's The Loud House's Vintage Vocalizations! Order your personal copy today!

THE END

Version 2
Announcer: Hey folks! Now you can hear all your all-time faves from the good old days with The Loud House's Vintage Vocalizations! Over 100 beautifully restored tracks as performed by Roachdale's greatest singing sensation the Cockroach Glee Club, including, "Put On Your Old Grey Bonnet"!

Cockroach Glee Club: Put on your old grey bonnet with the blue ribbon on it,

While I hitch old Dobbin to the shay,

And through the fields of clover, we'll drive up to Dover

On our golden wedding day.

Lana: No! Leave me alone! I don't wanna! (A cockroach smacks her.)

Announcer: As well as, "Waltz Me Around Again, Willie"!

Cockroach Glee Club: Waltz me around again, Willie

Around, around, around

The music is dreamy, it's peaches and creamy

Oh don't let my feet touch the ground

I feel like a ship on an ocean of joy

I just want to holler out loud "Ship ahoy!"

Oh waltz me around again, Willie

Around, around, around.

Lana: Whoa! (crash) Ouch! I'm okay, but seriously, who put me in this stupid dress?!?

Announcer: And who could possibly forget that timeless classic, "Over the Rainbow"?

Cockroach Glee Club: Somewhere over the rainbow

Way up high

There's a land that I heard of

Once in a lullaby

Lana: (to the audience emotionally) Y'know, I never knew them roaches could be singing so beautifully. (She runs off crying.) Oh, it's so movingly beautiful!

Announcer (emotional as well): Yes, it's The Loud House's Vintage Vocalizations! Order your personal copy today! (sobs loudly) Oh, somebody pass me a tissue box!

THE END

Fun Facts
Speaking of the Weather and Over the Rainbow were written by the same songwriting duo of Harold Arlen and E. Y. Harburg. The former was in a 1937 Merrie Melodies cartoon of the same name as well as Gold Diggers of 1937, while the latter was in the 1939 MGM classic The Wizard of Oz.

It only took me at least 2 hours to write this.

At one point, Luna would've starred in this, but I stuck with Lana because she was the first sister to pop into my head.