Breaking Dad/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "Breaking Dad".

Script
[The episode starts with an exterior shot of the Loud House, which then shows Rita calling her kids down]  Rita: "Kids, let’s go! You’re late for school." ''[The kids rush downstairs in the form of a fight cloud, which leads to Rita pulling Lily up high before they rush into her, leaving her torn. She pulls Lily down and smiles, before hearing the sound of Lynn Sr. and his cowbell]'' Lynn Sr: "Woo!" Rita: "Oh, lookin' good, sweetie." Lynn Sr.: "Thanks, honey. I'm ready to ring in the funk at Cowbella. Two days of nothing but cowbell music, can you imagine?" Rita: "Not in a million years. I hope you and Kotaro have a wonderful time." [kisses her husband's cheek] "Could you guys do me a favor and drop Lily at daycare on your way? I got my hands full today." [hands Lily's car seat to Lynn Sr. and leaves] Lily: [notices the cowbell] "Bah bell." Lynn Sr.: "That's right, sweetie." [notices Lily biting on it and moves it away] "Aah, watch the drool." [chuckles] "It rusts."

[Outside, Lynn Sr. is waiting for Kotaro to show up] Lynn Sr.: "Come on, K-Dog. Don't wanna miss the Red Hot Bell Peppers." ''[He hears his phone go off and pulls it out to find something that shocks him. He then calls up Rita]'' [Cue split screen] Rita: [picks up] "Hi, honey. What's-" Lynn Sr.: "Emergency! Daycare is closed for the day. The Koch kid flushed a diaper down the toilet again and flooded the place. Can you come home and watch Lily?" Rita: "Oh, honey, my day is packed. The Fox quintuplets are all getting their cavities filled and we only have enough gas for four of them." Fox Girl: [having heard this] "Wh-what?" Rita: "Whoops." [lays her back down] "Don't worry about that, sweetie." Lynn Sr.: "How about I drop Lily there, huh? I'm sure she'll be fine around all those sharp dental tools." Rita: "I think you're gonna have to skip the music festival today." [Lynn Sr. moans in sadness] "I'm sorry, honey, you can still go tomorrow. Gotta run, okay? Good luck." Lynn Sr.: [hangs up and sighs in disappointment] "Okay, Lily, Daddy needs to call Uncle Kotaro and cancel Cowbella. I'll try not to hold it against you. I mean, it's not technically your fault." [Lynn Sr. then sees Mr. Grouse pushing over his recycling bin into the sidewalk, which gives him an idea] Lynn Sr.: "Maybe I don't need to cancel. Hello, Mr. Grouse! Lovely day, isn't it?" Mr. Grouse: "It'd be a whole lot better if my gout wasn't flaring up." Lynn Sr.: "Ahh, cool, cool. Uh, say, how would you like to spend this beautiful day at my house babysitting this adorable ragamuffin, huh?" Lily: "Goo-goo." Mr. Grouse: "I don't know anything about babies, except they don't like me." Lynn Sr.: "Oh, no, there's nothing to it, and Lily'll love you. Heck, she already does, don't you, Lily?" [The second Lily looks at Mr. Grouse, she immediately starts crying.] Lynn Sr.: "See? Tears of love!" Mr. Grouse: "Nice try, Loud, I'm not running a kennel here." [goes back into his house] Lynn Sr.: "I'll give you a lasagna~." Mr. Grouse: [comes back out] "Ten lasagnas." Lynn Sr.: "Three." Mr. Grouse: "Seven." Lynn Sr. & Mr. Grouse: "Five! Deal!" Lynn Sr.: [hands Mr. Grouse Lily, her stuff, and the keys] "Here's everything you need. Call me if there's any problems." [Just then, a horn honking is heard, and Kotaro's van pulls up front] Kotaro: "Hey, Lily. Hi, Mr. Grouse." [pulls out his cowbell] "You ready to ring it and ding it, Lynn?" Lynn Sr.: [pulls out his as well] "You bet your bells I am!" [Both start rocking out with their cowbells, before Mr. Grouse interrupts them] Mr. Grouse: "Woah, woah, woah, how about ringing it and dinging it in the van there, pal?" Lynn Sr.: "Cool." [kisses Lily's cheek] "Bye, honey. Be good for Mr. Grouse. Whoo!" [gets in the van and they drive off] Mr. Grouse: "It's just you and me, kiddo. How are we gonna spend the day?" Lily: "Poo-poo." Mr. Grouse: "Ah, that's not what I wanted to hear."

''[Later, Kotaro’s van arrives at the Cowbella music festival, where the performers are performing on stage, which Lynn Sr. and Kotaro begin to rock out to. Until, Lynn Sr.’s phone goes off and gets off from the crowd to answer it]'' [Cue split screen] Mr. Grouse: "Loud, your daughter won’t stop crying. I turned off my hearing aid, but I can still hear her! You gotta come home." Lynn Sr.: "Now, now, Mr. Grouse, no need to panic. It’s just a easy fix, okay? Just speak to her with a British accent." Mr. Grouse: "Oh yeah, I could do that, or you could just get your butt back here." Lynn Sr.: [stammers] "Give it a try. I'll guide you through it, okay?" [British accent] "Cheerio! Jolly good! Pip pip!" Mr. Grouse: "This is ridiculous." [not even trying] "Cheerio. Jolly good. I forget the rest." [Right then, Lily stops crying and giggles] Lynn Sr.: "Oh, there you go! You're a natural!" Mr. Grouse: "I wouldn't mind another lasagna for my troubles." Lynn Sr.: "You got it!" [hangs up, takes a deep breath, and makes his way back into the crowd.]

[Lynn Sr. and Kotaro are rocking out with their cowbells in the crowd] Kotaro: "Woooo!" [Just then, Lynn Sr.'s phone goes off again and answers it] Mr. Grouse: "Loud, your crazy daughter won't stop throwing her toys at me." [A teddy bear then hits the lamppost and falls] "I'm not doing this anymore." Lynn Sr.: "No no no, hold on. No need to overreact. Uh, this is just Lily's mid-day cranky time, try doing pratfalls. Always works for me." Mr. Grouse: "Fat chance, Loud. At my age, if I go down, I stay down." Lynn Sr.: "Ahh--what if I throw in another lasagna?" Mr. Grouse: "And I'm falling." [Lily is about to throw another toy but sees Mr. Grouse doing the pratfall and she laughs] Lynn Sr.: "Hey, Lily sounds good." Mr. Grouse: "Yeah, better than me. I landed on some jacks." Lynn Sr.: "Cool, cool." [hangs up and gives Kotaro a thumbs up meaning it's all good and continue to rock out.]

''[Later, Lynn Sr. and Kotaro are waiting in line for the bathroom until Lynn Sr.'s phone goes off again. Lynn Sr. groans in frustration and answers it]'' Mr. Grouse: "Loud, your kid won't eat anything I give her." [Lily makes a face as she shoves the bowl out of the way, making it fall to the floor and break] Mr. Grouse: "I’m done! You need to get back here!" Lynn Sr.: "Ah, easy, Mr. G., she's just fussy. I keep some homemade peach peach puree in the fridge for times just like this." Mr. Grouse: [Mumbles while getting the puree] "Meh..Homemade peach puree, why didn't you say that in the first place." [gets the puree out and presents it to Lily, Which then she happily takes and eats] "Whoa, she gobbled that right up." Lynn Sr.: "Ah, that's a relief. And speaking of relief, it's my turn." [Opens up bathroom stall and goes in] Mr. Grouse: "GAH! For pete's sake, Loud, Hang up!"

[Later, Lynn Sr. and Kotaro are "rocking out" to more cowbell music, when Lynn Sr.'s phone goes off, again] Lynn Sr.: [Groans with exasperation] "Ding, dong, dang it." [Answers] "Okay Mr. Grouse, you win, I'm on my way home." Mr. Grouse: "What? Why? Everything's swell." Lynn Sr.: [Totally caught off guard] "I, but, it is?" Mr. Grouse: "You bet, we're having a gas, I was just calling because the little tike spit up on my shirt, you mind if I borrow one of your sweaters?" Lynn Sr. "Oh, not at all." Mr. Grouse: "Good, cause I already did." [Camera zooms out to reveal that, Lily giggles and Mr. Grouse tickles her] "I won't bother you again, Loud, enjoy your silly bell thing." [Call ends] Kotaro: "Should I get the van?" Lynn Sr.: "Bell no, we're good for the rest of the day." Kotaro: "Sweet."

''[The festival has concluded. Kotaro's van pulls up in front of the Loud House and Lynn Sr. gets out.]'' Lynn Sr.: "WOO-HOO!" Kotaro: "WOOO-HOO! I can't wait for tomorrow!" Lynn Sr.: "Me neither, K-Dog! Day two!" ''[The two do a handshake with their cowbells, Lynn Sr. closes the van door, and Kotaro drives off. Later, Lynn Sr. is giving Mr. Grouse the lasagna he owes him] "Here you go, Mr. Grouse. Seven trays of lasagna, as promised. Looks like this worked out bell'' for both of us." [laughs] ''[Mr. Grouse just ignores the joke and is about to leave when suddenly, Lily starts tugging at his pants]'' Lily: "Dada. Dada!" Lynn Sr.: [chuckles and picks her up] No, no, no, that's Mr. Grouse, sweetie. I'm Dada." Lily: [reaching towards Mr. Grouse] "Dada! Dada!" Mr. Grouse: "Aww, isn't that cute? She thinks I'm her Dada." Lynn Sr.: [feeling jealous] "Yes, yeah, downright adorable."[chuckles while glaring] [Mr. Grouse heads out and Lily looks out the front window.] Lily: "Dada! Dada!" Lynn Sr.: "Ok, sweetie, that-that-that's enough of that." [closes the curtains] Lily: "Dada! [opens the curtains back up to see Mr. Grouse walking back to his house] Dada! Dada! [points at him] Dadaaaaaa." Lynn Sr.: [gasps in shock] "What have I done?"

[Later that night, Rita enters the house and sees her husband on the couch in a fetal position, whimpering] Rita: "Honey, are you okay? How was your day with Lily?" Lynn Sr.: [sits up] "I have a confession to make, I went to Cowbella and left her with Mr. Grouse." Rita: [gasps] "Lynn!" Lynn Sr.: [stammers] "Before you get mad at me, I'm already paying for it. Lily got along so well with Mr. Grouse... [tearing up] ...and now she's calling him Dada." [sobs] Rita: "Oh, honey, Lily is just getting used to words, she probably doesn't know who any of us are yet." Lynn Sr.: "You think so? Maybe I'm overre-"