User blog:Discofurby/Too Funny for Words

This is inspired by a similar prank I pulled as a child, although my prank was not nearly as funny or as stealthy as Luan's.

One day, the Loud family was eating dinner at the table together. Ever since the incident where Lincoln had tried to move from the kiddie table to the grown-up table, it became quite clear that all of the Loud children wanted to sit together and eat the same thing, so they decided to get rid of the kiddie table and have everyone eat together. Besides, that way, the five youngest daughters wouldn't dare start a food fight knowing that their parents and Lori were watching.

"So how was school?" asked Lynn Sr. "We can talk about our school days in alphabetical order today. That means Lana first."

"My school day was great!", said Lana, "Our teacher made us make a list of Words We Use the Most. We used these pieces of red card and cut them into stars, then the teacher typed up the words and printed them out and we stuck them to the stars and then we took them to get... what's the word... laminated. Then we stuck them to the wall!".

Upon hearing this, the resident prankster Luan had an idea for her latest prank: add a big word to the list of frequently-used words! A lot of pranksters would've stopped at adding a swear word or an insult or a bathroom-related word to the list, but not Luan. She was a seasoned comedian and blue humour was too basic for a prank that required this much strategy. No, she was going to add a long, sophisticated word. A word that most people would definitely not use the most. But what word to use...?

The answer came to her the next day, which was Saturday, while she was sitting on her bed trying to think of big words. She heard an explosion coming from Lisa and Lily's room and an exasperated shout in Lisa's voice: "Dang it! I knew I shouldn't have added potassium sulfate!".

That was it: potassium. The perfect big word. Now, it was just a case of getting to Royal Woods Elementary School. It was too far a distance to walk, and she couldn't drive, being two years too young to get her license. Of course, her parents and Lori could drive, but they'd probably get suspicious if the prankster of the family asked for a lift to the school where five of her siblings attended.

Leni could also drive, but not very well. Besides, Leni was curious-- no doubt she'd ask Luan why she'd be going to the elementary school and Luan couldn't think of a lie. There was always Lola's Princess Car, but Lola would be furious if she stole it and she couldn't very well ask one of the prank's recipients for a lift to the school and the Princess Car would be too slow anyway. And a cab would also arouse suspicion. She'd have to take the bus. Thankfully, one of the city bus stops was only a short distance from Royal Woods Elementary.

So she took a small bag and put in it a bobby pin (for picking locks) and some money (for bus fare), then went out the door. She left a note on the fridge: ''I'm just going out. Will be back in time for dinner. Luan.''

She then went to the bus stop, hopped on a bus, and got off at Royal Woods Elementary. Then, she climbed over the gate, walked up to the school doors, and used her bobby pin to pick the lock. That was the easy part. The hard part was sneaking around past the security cameras in the school.

She took a good look at the camera in the hallway. It appeared to be pointing downwards, so she flattened herself against the wall and inched her way across to a door marked "First Grade".

When she got in, she clearly saw the list of words, so she sneaked under the desks and gingerly reached up and grabbed one of the red cardboard stars. Luckily for Luan, the art supplies were stored right under the list, so she easily grabbed a piece of red cardboard, a pencil, some scissors, and some glue. She put them on the computer table, then sat down, and turned it on.

However, there was a complication: it was asking for a password. Thankfully, there was a button marked "password hint", so she clicked the button and there was the question: What is my pet's name? Luan breathed a sigh of relief: Lana had told her a few days ago that her and Lola's teacher had a parrot named Bernadette. So Luan typed the name in and accessed a word processor.

She typed, "Potassium", set the font to Comic Sans, and shrunk the word enough so that it would fit snugly into the three-inch space on the middle of the star. Satisfied, Luan printed out the word, shut down the computer, and cut the word out, putting the rest of the paper in the box marked "scrap paper".

She took the red card and traced around the star she'd taken, observing that the word written on it was "The".

"Perhaps the most commonly-used word in the English language," thought Luan to herself, "How ironic that it's being used for this star of a prank."

She then cut the star out, put the card and pencil away, replaced the star marked "The", glued the word "Potassium" to the new star, and put the glue away. "Now onto phase two," thought Luan, "Getting it laminated!".

She carefully sneaked out of the classroom and looked at the map in the hallway. There was a room called the Printing Room upstairs. Logically, the laminators would be in there. So she sneaked upstairs, again staying against the wall, picked another lock, and went into the printing room.

She turned on the laminator, put the "potassium" star in, took it out, and turned off the laminator. Finally, she went back into the twins' classroom, stuck the "potassium" star back on the wall, and headed home. Her work was done!

On Monday morning, the teacher asked, "OK, class, who can name the words we use the most?".

Skippy was the first to raise his hand: "The, on, a, we, I, ...." he squinted, "... pot.... uh... seum?".

"You mean potassium?," said the teacher, surprised, "We don't use potassium the most."

Lana pointed to Luan's addition to the list. "Yes, we do!".