User blog:This Spy/One Loud Renegade: Level 1 - Ruin the Date

''Author's Note: The following fic is AU of three episodes, Save the Date, Dance, Dance Resolution and Brawl in the Family, and the very first one. Will be in a style of video game, a beat-'em-up RPG, to be precise, like River City Ransom. Enjoy the show.  (We see black screen, then a title shows up.) ONE LOUD RENEGADE ©2018 TECHNOS EUROPE CORP. AND VIACOM INTERNATIONAL INC. LICENSED TO NINTENDO OF EUROPE INC. DEVELOPED BY MIDWAY AND PUBLISHED BY SIERRA INSPIRED BY KUNIO-KUN VIDEO GAME SERIES BY TECHNOS JAPAN CORPORATION ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PRESS ENTER (We press Enter, and a title card follows, depicting Lincoln kicking Ronnie Anne in the face while in the air.) LEVEL 1 RUIN THE DATE LOADING... (After a short while of loading, we open up in Royal Woods Elementary, and see Lincoln having lunch in the school cafeteria with his fellow classmates. Some minutes have passed, he tries to get something out of his pants, reaches for the thing, pulls it out, and it's sloppy joes with a note attached.)'' Classmate #4: (reading the note) Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne. (he says her name with flair) Classmate #3: And there's a heart! Classmates & Lance: Ooooh! Lincoln's got a girlfriend! (Then they laugh at Lincoln, expect for Clyde, from assuming such thing. Lincoln, however, is unfazed.) Lincoln: Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that. I don't give a freak. Classmate #3: When's the wedding day, Lincoln, eh? (They keep laughing at the sole Loud boy. The latter is still unaffected.) Classmates: ♫Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.♫ (The classmates keep mocking Lincoln, and only now does the albino boy speaks up from the heart.) Lincoln: Whatever. But I will say this, that Ronnie Anne is NOT and will NEVER be my girlfriend. She's a psychopath and totally nagging bimbo. I'd rather smash love-related stuff to pieces than even seeing her moronic face at all. (A gasp is heard afterwards, and it turns out it came from Ronnie Anne. Lincoln turns around, and gives her unimpressed face, which reads "Go ahead, whine, I don't care.") Lincoln: (calmly) I was wondering whether you'd show up, Ronalda. (Ronnie Anne is in shock at first, but then puts on an angry stare, and storms out of the lunch room with food tray still in her hands.) Lincoln: Hmph. Clyde: Uh, Lincoln, not trying to offend you, but I think you went a little overboard with that. Lincoln: She punched me in the face, Clyde! Do you think I forgive such barbaric actions?! Clyde: ...Yeah, it can't be that tolerating, won't lie about that. (Sometime later that day, Lincoln comes back after school, only to get a tissue box flying at him, but he successfully catches it, and throws it onto the floor.) Lori: YOU MONSTER! Lincoln: And what the hell was that for, dammit?! Lori: You made Ronnie Anne CRY! Lincoln: SO FREAKING WHAT?! And how the hell did you figure that out?! (Lori now tosses a teddy bear at Lincoln, only for the latter to catch it and throw it down on the floor again.) Lori: Bobby told me... (starts to cry) RIGHT BEFORE HE BROKE UP WITH ME!!! Lincoln: Let me guess - he's actually Ronnie Anne's brother, huh? (Now she throws CDs at him in a machine gun fashion, but Lincoln picks up fire poker nearby and deflects them all, successfully. The former shows him a picture of Ronnie Anne and Bobby together.) Lori: Obviously! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Lincoln: That's the stupidest, idiotic and dumbest reason I've ever heard in my damn life. Lori: (angrily grabs and holds him up by his shirt) You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne! Lincoln: First off, (forcefully pushes Lori away from himself, sending her a bit back) get your frigging hands off me! Second, NO! She punched me in the damn eye! And I do NOT forgive such actions! Lori: Lincoln, I'm literally warning you! Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double date! Lincoln: ARE YOU FREAKING S[BEEP]ING ME?! Lori: It's all been arranged! We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at six! AND YOU! WILL MAKE HER! FEEL! LIKE THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL! IN THE WORLD! Lincoln: (angrily and gives Lori a death stare to assure his seriousness) NEVER! (From hearing that, Lori picks up a nearby end table and threatens to crush him with it. This, however, instead pushes Lincoln to the breaking point.) Lincoln: (sternly) Guess you leave me no choice, then... (He cracks his knuckles, and suddenly kicks Lori in the crotch so hard, that she drops the end table.) Lori: YEEEAAARRRGH! (The eldest Loud falls down and holds it in pain.) Lincoln: I don't give a SHIT if Bobby broke up with you just because he failed to realize that she punched in the damn face! He should've known that, and in fact, so should've you, Lori! (Lori recovers, gets up...and gives her only brother a death stare, now with burning desire to hurt him, badly.) Lori: (threateningly) That's it, twerp! You are DEAD! You hear me?! DEAD! Lincoln: Come on, then! Let's go! (And we get a transition to the gameplay, complete with many flashing effects, and ending with a VS card.) PREPARE TO FIGHT! LINCOLN VERSUS LORI FIGHT! (Lincoln goes first and performs a moderate combo hit on his eldest sister.) Lincoln: You'll NEVER force me to go, wicked witch! (Lori uppercuts Lincoln with medium force.) Lori: YOU WILL LOVE HER! (Lincoln now performs a special move of his own on Lori - Gaming Punch.) Lincoln: Gaming Punch! (He throws multiple hits with both hands and feet, then finishes it with a uppercut.) Lori: Now I really AM going to turn you into human pretzel! (Lori tries to grab her only brother, only for the latter to dodge and dash backwards. They keep fighting and fighting, until Lincoln finally, and successfully, defeats his own sister.) Lori: BARF! LINCOLN WINS NEW MOVE UNLOCKED: TORNADO KICK (NEXT-TO-HEAVY DAMAGE) NEW ITEM REWARDED: ONE LARGE PACK OF COKE (RESTORES 35 HP FOR EVERY USE, DISCARDS AFTER 15 USES) PRESS SPACEBAR TO CONTINUE (And we go back to story. We witness Lori herself, lying on the ground, completely covered in scratches and bruises, with Lincoln himself with somewhat damage around his body.) Lincoln: I will never go to that damn date! I will never forgive and make her happy! So you can just forget about Bobby, because I don't and will never care about this crap at all! Tell him that he should be ashamed of himself for doing such stupid thing and refusing to acknowledging the fact that she punched me in the face! And also tell Ronnie Anne that I HATE her from now on! Forever! And I am no longer talking to you anymore! Boo-freaking-hoo for you, "sister"! (He then angrily storms upstairs and heads to his room. Afterwards, Lori gets up, now completely saddened by the fact that Lincoln, usually weak one, has defeated her, and that she'll never see her precious Bobby ever again. She cries again, but quietly this time, heads upstairs, to her room. We cut to the Santiago residence, where Bobby decides to call Lori for the last time, wondering if she made Lincoln come to the would-be "double date".) Lori: Hello...? Bobby: Lori, it is Bobby. So, have you made Lincoln come to the date? Lori: ''No, I couldn't... Because he doesn't want to do with me and Ronnie Anne anymore, and he hates her forever, I guess......I'm so sorry, Bobby, but I guess this is truly it for us, then. Goodbye...Boo-Boo Bear.'' Bobby: Hmph. Yeah, goodbye forever...Lori. (They both dramatically hang up their phones. Bobby comes to his only sister's room.) Bobby: So yeah, Ronnie Anne. You should be safe, now that I'm no longer Lori's boyfriend. By the way, she said that Lincoln hates you forever. (Unknown to him, though, Ronnie Anne now understood why Lincoln said such hurtful things back in the school.) Ronnie: I know...and I deserve that... Bobby: (surprised, sits next to her) What do you mean? Ronnie Anne: ...I deserve the fact that he hates me because......I punched him in the face. (Bobby now pinches in nose in frustration from hearing such a thing.) Bobby: (sigh) Ronnie Anne, we've been over this. But I guess that you'll never learn not to hit people if you're in love with them... Ronnie Anne: Yeah... Bobby: And that means I've broke up with Lori for nothing. Well, what's done is done, I suppose... Ronnie Anne: I guess... (Ronnie Anne remains being very sad, while Bobby only shrugs his breakup with Lori off and leaves his only sister's room. We cut back to Lori, who's now very depressed now that her Bobby is gone from her life forever. She now lies on her bed and goes back to crying from such heartbreaking moment. Meanwhile, Lincoln has regained his composure in his room, then addresses the player.) Lincoln: (to the player) Now I know what you're thinking, "Lincoln. This isn't you at all. What caused you to go to such lengths?" Well, remember that moment when sisters proposed that I kiss Ronnie Anne, and then got punked at the end? Well, let's just say that I didn't stop being angry, and took a little different apporach. Flashback to alternate conclusion of "Heavy Meddle". (After Lincoln got punched by Ronnie Anne when the former kissed the latter, he was in his room, extremely enraged at his sisters and would-be "love interest". Ronnie Anne throws a rock with both steak and note attached to it that says, "Sorry, Lame-O. Here's my number. 555-0121 Text me". Lincoln, however, is still enraged so bad, that he discards both note and steak, pulls out an empty sticky note, writes something there in a hush, takes the rock, attaches his note to it and throws the rock out the window just far enough, to nearby Ronalda's current location. We cut Ronnie Anne herself outside, who's on her way to her residence. The same rock she threw to Lincoln now comes back to her, and lands.) Ronnie Anne: Huh? (She picks it up, reads the note, and much to her utter shock, it says "NO! Stay the hell away from me, I don't want to see your freakish face anymore nor text you, you damn bimbo! Go punch some other jackass! -Lincoln, your arch-nemesis". She gasps, cut back to Lincoln in his room, and that's where he hears Ronnie Anne scream from reading such outrageous message, he pumps his fist in victory, now that he successfully responded in his own way.) Flashback ends, back to present. Lincoln: So yeah. What happened then and now should teach her not to mess with me ever again. Sometime later... (Lincoln is finishing reading comics, heads out of his room, only to be greeted by 8 of his sisters, from Leni to Lisa, Lily excluded. They all look at him with disappointment.) Lincoln: Let me guess - you're all pissed just because I refused to make things up with Lori and Ronnie Anne? Luan: You're darn straight we are. Luna: Seriously, Lincoln, what's wrong with you? Lola: Why did you refuse to do such simple things? Lincoln: Because I HATE Ronnie Anne, OK?! And I will never forgive her for such barbaric actions! (The sisters now surprised from hearing such statement.) Lana: What? Leni: But why, Linky? Lincoln: I am not going to tolerate being punched in the eye! And I'm pretty sure you wouldn't do the same either! Lisa: ...I am afraid you got a point, elder brother. It is not indeed easy being able to handle such aggressive manners. Lincoln: Duh, obviously! And this wouldn't have happened if you stupid jerks didn't asked me to kiss her in the first friggin' place! Now if you excuse me...I believe I have some better things to do now at this point. (Lincoln now proceeds to go downstairs, while sisters are now sad too by the fact that their only brother has completely refused to accept Ronnie Anne in his life. And they realize that Lincoln is right, they are the primary reason Lincoln hates Ronnie Anne with passion. They disperse from the hallway and shortly go downstairs. We cut back to Lori in her and Leni's room for the last time, where she stares out the window in sadness and despair. She will always be alone and have nobody to love, from now on.) Lori: (through tears) Boo-Boo Bear...... The next day... (Clyde and Lincoln are outside, talking.) Clyde: ...I can understand why you'd still be mad at Ronnie Anne. Lincoln: Yeah. Clyde: Are you sure, though? Because Lori will always be single. Lincoln: That's her problem, Clyde - if she just outright blatantly refused to acknowledge the fact that Ronnie Anne punched me in the eye first. Cylde: ...Yeah. OK then. (The screen fades to black, and we proceed to next level.) LEVEL 1 COMPLETE! PRESS Z TO PROCEED TO LEVEL 2 To be continued...