User blog comment:LoudFanWolf/Finding a Voice/@comment-4618045-20180106011755

So far, not bad.

Luna is in character, I like your interpretation of Sam, and the conflict they’re in is relatable given how it’s music-oriented. If there’s anything I think you should improve, it’s the format. When a character speaks, it should be a new paragraph. As it is now, the paragraphs are giant walls of text, which makes it hard to read. Break it up.