User blog:Steven A. Lucas/Steven Lucas in The Loud House: Relative Chaos Part One (FANFIC)

Hello everyone. Steven Lucas is here once again. Right now, I am releasing my version of The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos. Or simply just Relative Chaos for short. My version of The Loudest Thanksgiving will be coming out on the week of Thanksgiving. In part one, my role is very brief. But in part two, I still made a minor role in that one. I hope you guys enjoy it. I do not own the rights of the show, the characters, the locations, and the stories. It belongs to its rightful owners. Enjoy.

Steven Lucas in The Loud House

Relative Chaos (Part One)

Originally Written by Sammie Crowley, Daniel Dominguez, and Whitney Wetta

Re-Written a bit by Steven A. Lucas

[Episode begins with Vanzilla driving away.]

Lincoln: "Can't I just stay in the car?"

Steven: Yeah, or can you just drop me off near a street.

Lincoln: Yeah, or somewhere maybe at the movies, the mall, or the comic book store.

Lori: "No. You are saying goodbye to your girlfriend in person!"

Lincoln: "For the millionth time, Ronnie Anne is not my girlfriend! And it's not goodbye! They're only going away for the weekend."

Steven: Yeah, I don’t get why you’d bring me to Bobby and Ronnie Anne’s house. They’ll be gone for a while.

Lori: [sobbing] "It might as well be forever. I don't know what I'll do without my Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!" [takes her hands off the wheel and covers her face.]

Lincoln: [grabs hold of the wheel and steers.] "Lori! Get it together, woman!"

Steven: Yeah, less crying, more driving!

''[The Santiago's residence. Lori and Bobby are holding each other while crying]''

Bobby: "Here, babe. This is for you." [takes out a hoodie with a cat dressed as a businessman.] "I wore it all week under my uniform."

[A cat's meow sound is played.]

Lori: "Ah, Boo-Boo Bear." [embraces it] "It smells like love. And corndogs."

[As they cry again, Lincoln, Steven and Ronnie Anne are watching them, having gotten tired of it.]

Steven: This is exactly like a bad romantic movie. A real awful movie.

Lincoln: Yep.

Steven: Do you think it’s time to break them apart. What do you say?

Ronnie Anne: [looks at her watch] "Ugh. It's been 20 minutes. I'm calling it."

[Lincoln and Steven nods in agreement and the three of them go up to their older siblings and try to pull them away, which proves to be a task with them holding each other tightly.]

Lincoln: [to Ronnie Anne while prying Lori] "So, are you excited to visit your grandparents?"

Ronnie Anne: [to Lincoln while prying Bobby] "Yeah. And my aunt and uncle, and their four kids. It's crazy. You'd like it."

Steven: Really? Are there any girls in your extended family?

Ronnie Anne: Just one of my uncle and aunts’ kids. But, hopefully you will meet them and you might like her.

Steven: I really bet that your family is huge than Lincoln’s. No offense

Lincoln: None taken.

Ronnie Anne: Good. But we’ll be fine for the weekend.

Lincoln: "How are you gonna deal with it?"

Ronnie Anne: "It's only two days, then everything's back to normal."

Lori: [wailing] "TWO DAYS!!!"

Steven: OH SHUT UP!!!

[Lincoln, Steven, and Ronnie Anne finally pry their older siblings away.]

Steven: Come on, enough with the dramafest. Let’s just go home. Help me with her, Lincoln.

[Just as Lincoln and Steven are leaving while dragging Lori, she sticks herself in the doorframe.]

Lori: [devastated] "BOBBY!!!"

Bobby: [dejected] "LORI!!!"

Lori: "I'LL THINK OF YOU EVERY MINUTE!"

Bobby: "EVERY  SECOND !"

Steven: LORI, JUST LET IT GO!

[Lincoln and Steven pries out Lori and the oldest Loud girl runs back to Vanzilla crying while Bobby looks out the window downtrodden.]

Steven: Sheesh. What a drama queen.

Lincoln: I know, she’s always like this.

Steven: Yeah. Anyway, have fun with your grandparents, and your family. [leaves]

Ronnie Anne: I will. Thank you, Steven.

Lincoln: "Well, have a nice trip."

Ronnie Anne: [punches Lincoln's shoulder playfully] "Smell you later, Lame-o."

Lincoln: [chuckles] "Not if I smell you first." [leaves]

[Ronnie Anne waves as she closes the door, Bobby walks away still sniveling over not seeing Lori, and Ronnie Anne's mother comes home.]

Maria: "Hi, sweetie." [hugs her daughter] "Oh, sorry I had to work a double shift again. I wish I didn't have to leave you on your own so much."

Ronnie Anne: "I don't mind. I mean, how many kids get to practice kick flips inside the-" [her mother looks at her suspiciously] "Uh, I'll get our bags."

Maria: [surprised] "You packed for us? How did I get so lucky with you?"

Ronnie Anne: "I also made us sandwiches and put a toy bag together for Bobby. You know how bored he gets in the car."

Bobby: [insulted and still sad] "You make me sound like a baby!" [sniffles] "Did you pack my sticker books?"

[In another city, at the Casa Grande Corner Market and Apartment, the Santiago's arrive.]

Maria: "We're here!"

Bobby: [with his face covered in stickers.] "Ho-ho! The bodega's looking good!"

Maria: "Are you ready to spend two wonderful days with your family?"

''[Inside the building, grandpa Hector is taking decorations from apartment 2A to apartment 2B with his toddler Carlitos mimicking him. His wife Rosa comes out of 2B with a pot and Carlitos starts mimicking her.]''

Rosa: "Hector, you were supposed to put up all the decorations this morning!"

Hector: "I was helping customers."

Rosa: "You were  gossiping  with the customers."

Hector: "I do  not  gossip! By the way, did you hear Vito Filliponio whitens his teeth?"

Rosa: "Ugh."

[As they take care of business, pet parrot Sergio comes out of 2B with a bone.]

Sergio: [squawks] "Too slow!"

[Big dog Lalo chases after the bird.]

Rosa: "Sergio! Give Lalo back his toy!"

[Enter only daughter Carlota with her hair all frizzy.]

Carlota: "Carl! Did you use all my hair product again?!"

[Enter self-proclaimed stud Carl.]

Carl: "This kind of handsome doesn't happen on its own."

[Carlota grabs Carl and starts rubbing his hair against hers.]

Carl: "STOP IT! YOU'RE SMOOSHING THE FLAIR!"

[Their mother Frida takes a picture of them fighting.]

Frida: [overjoyed] "I love seeing my babies play so sweetly." [gets tears in her eyes and cries into the next apartment with Carlitos following and mimicking her.]

''[Carl and Carlota fix their hair and go their separate ways. Enter one more kid named CJ wearing a cape.]''

CJ: "I'm Super CJ!" [makes whooshing noises and pretends to fly with Carlitos mimicking that.]

[Enter the father Carlos reading a book.]

Carlos: "Okay, Super CJ, just watch where you're going." [walks into a wall] "Oof! Huh, whoopsie." [clears throat and reads his book.] "Ooh! Did you know that sea anemones glow when they're scared."

Carlota: "Dad, it's the weekend. You're not supposed to be doing professor stuff."

Carlos: "Oh, this isn't for work. It's just for fun."

Sergio: [squawks] "Nerd alert!"

Rosa: [hands Carlos a casserole dish] "Carlos, put this on the table for me, please."

''[While Carlos is too busy reading his book, Lalo eats up the casserole which Carlitos imitates. CJ continues playing his superhero game.]''

Frida: [with a curtain] "Where should we put this?"

[Everyone starts arguing about the arrangements.]

Casagrande's: "No no no!" / "Right here!" / "Why did we wait so long to do this?" / "They're gonna be here any second!"

CJ: [seeing someone] "Bobby!"

[The rest of the family gasps and CJ whooshes into Bobby's arms.]

Bobby: "CJ!" [catches CJ] "Oof! How ya doing, buddy? You grow anymore, and you're gonna have to carry me!"

[The rest of the Casagrande's take the Santiago's luggage while Ronnie Anne is with Rosa.]

Rosa: [pushes Ronnie Anne into her bosom.] "Oh, mija, I'm so happy I get to have you for two whole days!"

Ronnie Anne: [unenthusiastic with a fake smile] "Yay. Two whole days."

[In the apartment, a door is jutting.]

Hector: "There's room for your luggage in the hall closet." [opens the door and quickly tosses the luggage into the closet before it collapses.] "Plenty of room."

[In the living room, while the Casagrande's are getting things ready, Bobby gets some food from the table.]

Rosa: [gasps] "Roberto! You're all bones and skin!" [adds more to Bobby's plate] "Eat! Eat!"

[Bobby turns around and sees the parrot, much to his shock.]

Bobby: [scared] "Sergio..." [chuckles] "You're still alive."

[Sergio hisses at Bobby.]

Ronnie Anne: [laughs at Bobby] "Looks like your little buddy missed you."

[Lalo pounces on Ronnie Anne and starts licking her.]

Ronnie Anne: "Lalo, get off me!"

Bobby: [laughs at Ronnie Anne] "Looks like your little buddy missed you, too."

''[Ronnie Anne gets Lalo off her and stands up with her hair sticking up from all that licking. As the kids leave, Frida and Maria are talking in the kitchen.]''

Frida: "So, have you told the kids yet?"

Maria: [closes the kitchen shutters] "No. Not yet. And please keep it a secret."

Frida: "Ay, don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

Hector: [opens the shutter] "Are you talking about the secret?"

Frida: "I might have told Papa."

Rosa: "Hector! I said to be quiet about the secret!"

Frida: "And Mama."

CJ: "Are we talking about the secret?"

Frida: "Okay, I told everyone!" [chuckles guiltily]

Maria: "Guys, please don't say anything. I haven't found the right moment to talk to Bobby and Ronnie Anne. It would be such a big change. I want to make sure they're on board."

Frida: "I will help convince them."

Maria: "I appreciate it, but-"

Frida and CJ: "We'll  all  convince them!"

Hector: "Great idea!"

Rosa: "I will light my..." [holds up a candle with a decoration of Elvis on it.] "...special candle. It works every time."

[Maria looks nervous about this.]

Hector: "You guys are going to love all the changes we've made to the bodega."

Ronnie Anne: "As long as you still got those ice pops I like." [gets pulled away by Carlota] "Whoa!"

Carlota: "Ronnie Anne, you don't wanna go to the boring bodega. Ugh."

[Bobby opens the door]

Hector: "No, Bobby!" [closes the door] "There's a vicious new street gang in the neighborhood!" [notices Lalo whimpering] "Even Lalo is terrified of them!"

''[Lalo shows his fear. Hector gets out a tin of sardines and opens it up. He opens the door and tosses the tin outside. At that moment, a pack of vicious cats starts tearing at the tin.]''

Hector: "Now's our chance!"

[The boys run for the bodega.]

Bobby: "So, the gang has cats?"

Hector: "The gang  is  cats!"

[They enter the bodega safe and sound.]

[Carlota's room]

Carlota: [looking through her wardrobe] "Check it out! I found some really cute dresses at the thrift store for you." [holds out two black blouses with yellow streaks.] "I even found two of these so we can match."

[Transition to them wearing the outfits which consist of the blouse, a matching top, matching shoes, a matching hat, and hoop earrings.]

Carlota: "Ooh! Now you're gonna get all the boys' attention."

Ronnie Anne: [uncomfortable with the new look] "Uh, Carlota, this isn't really my-"

Carlota: [holding perfume] "Here. This covers up the moth ball smell." [sprays Ronnie Anne who coughs from the fumes.] "Wouldn't it be fun if we could do this everyday?"

Ronnie Anne: "That would be kinda hard since we live in different states."

[Frida takes a picture of the girls bonding.]

Frida: [excited] "Oh my gosh." [chuckles] "You two already look like sisters." [breaks out into tears]

Ronnie Anne: [confused] "Wait. What?"

Carlota: "Oh, hey, hey! I have a fun idea." [gets out some kind of papery substance.] "Let's wax our legs!"

[Ronnie Anne grasps her leg in fear.]

''[The Bodega. CJ is playing around with the door which causes the bell to go off.]''

CJ: "Look, Bobby! We got a new bell!" [closes door]

Hector: "Okay, CJ, let's not wear it out. It cost me $12."

Bobby: "Grandpa! I love what you've done with the place, but have you ever considered putting the milk in the rear of the store? Then, other people would buy other things on their way to it. It's called "impulse shopping". I learned that at my supermarket job."

Hector: "You're a genius!"

Carl: [scoffs] "Yeah, but can he do..." [grabs a watermelon, struggles to hold it, and lifts it up feebly.] "...THIS?!" [gives in and drops the watermelon on top of him while struggling to get up.] "LOOK AWAY!"

Carlos: [reading his book] "Did you know that male seahorses are the ones who give birth? Look at that."

[Back in the apartment, Ronnie Anne leaves Carlota's room after having her leg waxed.]

Ronnie Anne: [limping] "Ow, ow, ow."

Carlitos: [imitating] "Ow, ow, ow, ow."

Ronnie Anne: [from the kitchen window] "Shh, Carlitos! I'm just getting a snack. We don't want grandma to find out."

Carlitos: "Shh!"

[Ronnie Anne closes the kitchen shutters, opens the fridge and gets an apple, but when she closes the fridge, Rosa suddenly appears as if Lucy would.]

Rosa: "Aha!"

Ronnie Anne: [startled] "Aah!"

Rosa: "I always know when someone in my house is hungry."

[Rosa sits Ronnie Anne down at the table for food.]

Ronnie Anne: "But, but-"

Rosa: "Sit." [sits Ronnie Anne down and puts out the kitchenware and some food for her granddaughter.] "Don't you wish Grandma could cook for you everyday?"

Ronnie Anne: "It'd be great, but by the time it got to Royal Woods, it would be a little cold."

Rosa: [having misheard that] "What?! You've got a cold? You know what really opens up the sinuses? Hot sauce!"

[She pours the sauce on Ronnie Anne's food, and it causes a miniature explosion.]

[Back at the bodega, Bobby is dealing with a customer who did a little impulse shopping.]

Customer: "I just came here for milk. How did I spend $150?" [takes his groceries and leaves.]

Hector: "That milk trick really worked! You are a natural!" [hugs his grandson] "You'll be running this store in no time!"

Bobby: [suspicious] "Wait. What?"

Hector: [changing the subject] "I mean, did you hear Vito Filliponio whitens his teeth?"

[Back in the apartment, Ronnie Anne is stuffed from Rosa's food.]

Ronnie Anne: [nauseous] "Ugh...I think I have a stomachache."

Rosa: "I have an old Casagrande remedy for that: lick your finger..." [licks her finger] "...and put it in your bellybutton."

Ronnie Anne: [not wanting that and puts her sweater down.] "I'm suddenly feeling better!"

Carlota: "Ronnie Anne!" [comes into the living room] "I just had another great idea. Let's pierce your ears!" holds out the tweezers and piercing gun.]

Rosa: "Not now! She's eating!"

Frida: "Okay, smile with your eyes!" [takes another photo and looks at it] "Ronnie Anne blinked. One more!"

Carlota: "Now now, Mom! I'm about to pierce her bellybutton!"

Ronnie Anne: "Wait! You said ears!"

Rosa: "She's not done eating!"

Frida: "I only need two seconds. Come on!"

[While the Casagrande ladies are arguing, Ronnie Anne ducks out and goes to the sofa to relax, opens a magazine and sighs with relief.]

Sergio: [squawks] "Showtime!"

[The Casagrande's suddenly arrive and sit down.]

Ronnie Anne: "Uh...what's happening?"

Carlota: "Ooh! Our show's on! The Dream Boat!"

Bobby: [joins in] "This is Lori's favorite show. And so it's mine, too."

Announcer: "Next on the Dream Boat, who will Karen send overboard tonight?"

[Brock, Bryant, and Blaine are showcased.]

Carlota: "Ugh. I hope it's Brock. He has no style."

[Everyone starts arguing over that statement.]

Frida: [takes a picture of the argument; to Ronnie Anne.] "Oh, sweetie, wouldn't it be nice if we could do this everyday?"

Ronnie Anne: "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

[Lalo jumps onto the sofa and Ronnie Anne while the others in the sofa have made room for the big dog.]

Ronnie Anne: "I have to go to the bathroom." [pulls herself free from Lalo and goes.]

''[The bathroom. Ronnie Anne is getting some peace and quiet with her magazine, but the family starts coming in unannounced.]''

Carlota: "Ronnie Anne, you missed it! Blaine walked the plank."

Frida: "How much do you love the show?"

Rosa: "Who do you think Karen will pick tomorrow night?"

Hector: "It'd better be Brock!"

Bobby: "He doesn't deserve her!"

[They all start arguing again.]

''[Later that night, Ronnie Anne is sleeping in the guest bed with Maria, who tosses and turns on her. Ronnie Anne grabs her pillow and goes to sleep on the sofa.]''

Ronnie Anne: [exhales] "Finally, some peace and quiet."

''[At that moment, a train sounds its horn and passes by the building, leaving a loud sound and some rattling in the apartment. Ronnie Anne sighs and tries to get some sleep, but the cat gang starts meowing and she shuts the window to shut the noise up. But then, she finds Lalo has taken the sofa while she was up.]''

Ronnie Anne: [irritated] "Really, Lalo?"

[She tries to push him off to no avail, takes her pillow (which wakes him up), finds Bobby sleeping in an awkward position on his bed, opens the closet, gets piled underneath the junk, goes to the bathroom to sleep in the bathtub and opens up the curtain to find Sergio who squawks at and startles her.]

Sergio: "I'm naked!"

[Ronnie Anne closes the bathtub curtain, goes under the table, and sighs as she goes to sleep.]

[The next morning, another train goes by and everyone's having breakfast.]

Bobby: "This weekend's gone by so fast. I'm really gonna miss everybody."

[Ronnie Anne smiles that at least she'll be going home soon.]

CJ: "Nuh-uh."

Bobby: "Yes-huh, CJ. I'm gonna miss you."

CJ: "Nuh-uh. 'Cause you're not leaving ever! Mom said so! As a secret!"

Ronnie Anne: [baffled] "Wait. We're not leaving? Mom, what is CJ talking about?"

Maria: "Okay. Well, here goes. Ronnie Anne, Bobby...I've been thinking about this for a long time. I hate that you guys have to be alone so much, and we have this great family here. So, when I found out that I could get a job at the city hospital, I thought maybe we could move here?" [beat] "What do you guys think?"

[Ronnie Anne drops her spoon from hearing that.]

Ronnie Anne: [flabbergasted] "But, but...where would we even stay?"

Rosa: "You can live with us! We have plenty of room!"

Bobby: "That sounds awesome! Maybe I could work at the bodega!"

Hector: "You can take over the bodega. I mean, after I retire."

Carl: "And after  I  retire. Until then, you work for me."

Rosa: "This calls for a celebration. A moving in party! I will make a feast and a giant cake!"

[The others are all in agreement with this decision and Frida takes another photo of Ronnie Anne, who looks on distraught and dismayed.]

[To be continued...]