The Horror-Scope/Script

The following is a transcript for the episode "The Horror-Scope".

Script
[In what appears to be a distant galaxy, a man in flashy outfit floats in.] Ernesto Estrella: "Buenos Días, amigos of the universe, I am, Ernesto Estrella, and today I shall reveal... [Cards surround him] tu destino." ''[Ernesto's name pops up on the screen, and all of this is a show Rosa and Sergio are watching. Ronnie Anne is at the table eating chips and guacamole.]'' Sergio: [Squawks] "My destiny? I'm dying to know!" Rosa: "Ronnie Anne, ven, ven. Watch my favorite astrologer with me." Ronnie Anne: "I'm not really into horoscopes." Rosa: "Give it a chance, mija, Ernesto is very accurate. He predicted that I would have two children, a beautiful home, and a charming husband." [Meanwhile, said charming husband is next to the TV, he lets out a belch, scratches his butt, and picks out a wedgie.] Hector: "This bobo again?" Rosa: "He got two out of three." [Ronnie Anne chuckles, Hector shrugs and walks off, still scratching.] Ernesto Estrella: "Today, I will be talking about the fire sign." [A flame appears in his hand, and he claps it out.] Rosa: [Excitedly gestures for Ronnie Anne to sit with her.] "Ooh, Ronalda, that's you." [Ronnie Anne sits.] Ernesto Estrella: [Rides onto the screen on a blue moon.] "With a moon and a sand house, today's a very special day for fire sign people." [Fiery symbols representing Aries, Sagittarius, and Leo, move across the screen.] "For today, they will find love." [The word LOVE appears on the screen, in flaming letters.] "Es, tu destino." Rosa: [Excitedly gasps] "Oh, how exciting. I met tu Abuelo, when I was not much older than you." Ronnie Anne: "I hate to disappoint you Abuela, but there's no way I'm finding love today, unless you mean this guacamole." [Eats a chip, and gets a call; She answers.] "Hey Lincoln, guac's up." [Eats another chip] Lincoln: [In Vanzilla, excited.] "Hey Ronnie Anne, guess what, my mom has a meeting in the city, so I thought we could hang out." Ronnie Anne: "No way, that's awesome." Lincoln: "Yeah, I'll be there in about an hour, unless Vanzilla breaks down." [Which it does at that exact moment.] "Whoa!" Ronnie Anne: "Okay, smell you later." [Hangs up] Rosa: "It's a sign! Ernesto's prediction is already coming true." Ronnie Anne: [Doubting] "You mean Lincoln? Yeah right." Sergio: [Squawks] "Ronnie Anne and Lincoln sitting in a tree, [Ronnie Anne growls in annoyance.] K-I-S-S-" [Ronnie Anne throws guacamole into Sergio's beak and he falls over.] Ronnie Anne: "Listen Abuela, we're just friends." Rosa: "Okay, okay, but Hector and I used to be 'just friends' too, before we fell in love." [Just then, Hector takes a scoop of guacamole so big, it falls on the floor.] Hector: "Oops." Rosa: [Irate] "You can't use a plate?" Hector: "The chip is the plate." [Scoops the guac off the floor.] "It's also a shovel."

''[Later, Vanzilla is seen leaving the Casagrande's building. Ronnie Anne enters the apartment with Lincoln.]'' Ronnie Anne: "I'm so psyched you're here." Lincoln: "Me too, I brought you something from Royal Woods;" [Reaches into his backpack, and pulls it out.] "it's a grape Flippee, [Ronnie Anne gasps.] your favorite." [She takes it, only to find that it's melted and overflowing.] "Maybe I should've gone with turkey jerky." Rosa: [As she and Sergio open the kitchen shutter.] "Aye, how thoughtful, right Ronnie Anne?" [Ronnie Anne crushes the Flippee in her hand and closes the shutter so hard, Sergio's beak snaps off.] Ronnie Anne: "Why don't we go hang out in my room?" ''[The two head to Ronnie Anne's room. Rosa opens the shutter again, and Sergio is covering the area where his beak was.]'' Rosa: "Sergio, go spy." ''[Sergio puts his beak back on and flies after them. In Ronnie Anne's room, she and Lincoln are watching a video on her laptop; there's the sound of a cat, and a toilet flushing, the two laugh themselves silly.]'' Lincoln: "I missed this, you, me, cat videos," [reaches into his bag] "and I'm not the only one; remember Rochelle from Mrs. Johnson's class?" [Holds out their egg baby from "Shell Shock".] Ronnie Anne: [Surprised] "Woah, you kept that dumb egg baby we had to take care of?" Lincoln: [Gasps, and covers Rochelle's ears, shocked.] "Shh, she might hear you." [Smiles at it.] "You know, she's getting all A's this year, I guess we're pretty good parents." [Ronnie Anne starts to get a pink heart-shaped thought cloud of Ernesto.] Ernesto Estrella: "Destino!" ''[He blows blue sparkles around. Ronnie Anne slaps away the cloud, shakes the sparkles out of her hair, and hears something. She looks to her window, and sees Sergio trying to listen in on them, she closes the window on Sergio's beak again, and closes the shade.]'' Ronnie Anne: [To Lincoln] "Hey, you know, it's so nice out, why don't we take a walk." [Sergio reaches inside and gets his beak.]

[Later, the two are walking along the street.] Ronnie Anne: "So, tell me all the Royal Woods gossip." Lincoln: "Well, funny you asked, I actually need your advice; my friend really likes this girl, but they've been buds for a while, and it's a long distance thing. Think he should tell her how he feels?" Ronnie Anne: "Uh..." [Gets another thought cloud.] Ernesto Estrella: [Laughs] "A friend, sure. Destino!" Ronnie Anne: [Slaps away the cloud again.] "No! I mean, maybe he should just stuff those feelings deep down inside and not make things weird." Lincoln: "Nah, he'd never go for that, he really likes this girl. Hey, uh, is there someplace where we can sit down and be alone together?" [The word 'together' repeats over and over in Ronnie Anne's head, getting slower each time.] "There's something important I wanna share with you." [Ronnie Anne visualizes Lincoln's pupils as hearts and screams, suddenly, she gets another Ernesto fantasy.] Ernesto Estrella: "Destino! Boom! You just got Estrella-ed" Rosa: [Comes up behind Ernesto.] "How about you take him to that pizza place down the street, it's the perfect spot for two young people to talk." [Ronnie Anne tries to slap her fantasy away again, only to find that it was actually her real Abuela.] "Ay, mi ojo." Ronnie Anne: "Ah! Sorry, Abuela." Lincoln: "Pizza sounds great." Ronnie Anne: "Eh, um, yeah, great! Pizza it is, I just forgot my thing... in the house. I'll be right back." [Ronnie Anne races back to the building.]

[Meanwhile, outside her apartment, Sid is crawling on the floor with a butterfly net, and a pink tote bag, she picks up a purple feather and sniffs it, but throws it away shaking her head, she pours a pile of seeds from her bag.] Ronnie Anne: [Runs up] "Sid!" Sid: [Turns around and catches Ronnie Anne in the net.] "Gotcha!" [Realizes] "Oh." [Takes the net off] "Sorry Ronnie Anne, ha, I thought you were someone else. Have you seen a green and orange bird around here?" Ronnie Anne: "I wish I could help, but I'm having a crisis. My friend Lincoln's here, and I'm pretty sure he's about to tell me he loves me." Sid: "I thought you guys were just buds." Ronnie Anne: "Me too, but he brought our weird egg baby, he keeps talking about a "lovesick friend"," [Meanwhile a green and orange bird starts eating the seeds behind Sid.] "and now he wants to get pizza, alone." Sid: [Gasps, not knowing that the bird is now on her head.] "My parents had pizza on their first date." Ronnie Anne: "I don't want it to be a date. If Lincoln tells me he likes me, it'll be so awkward, it could even ruin our friendship." Sid: [Unaware that the bird is eating right out of her bag.] "You're right, there's no going back from that." Ronnie Anne: "Exactly! Which is why I need you to come with us, and kill the mood so he doesn't talk about his feelings." Sid: "Sure," [Throws down her bird catching stuff, and the dazed bird.] "I can be your wing-woman, but if I see the bird, I gotta run."

[Later, all three are strolling through the park, Ronnie Anne's arms around her friends.] Ronnie Anne: "I'm so glad my two best buds are finally meeting." [Hugs them both] Sid: "I've heard a lot about you, Lincoln, I can see why Ronnie Anne loves being your friend, and nothing more. Well, gotta run, I'm on my way to the pizza place." Ronnie Anne: [Pretends to gasp.] "Wow, what a crazy coincidence, that's just where we're going, come on. So, what topping are you guys getting? I'm going for mushroom." Lincoln: "Pepperoni for me." Sid: [Sees her bird and gasps.] "Bird!" [Runs after it] Lincoln: "Bird, huh? Never tried it, but..." Ronnie Anne: "No, she lost her bird." Lincoln: "Oh well, I guess it's just the two of us again." [Ronnie Anne starts sweating nervously and loosens her collar.]

''[Later, Ronnie Anne and Lincoln arrive at Amores Pizza, and sit at a table. Ronnie Anne looks around, and sees Hector and his friends at an adjacent table.]'' Ronnie Anne: "Oh, hey! That's my Abuelo. Where are you going? Stick around." Hector: "Hola mija," [he and his friends pick up their instruments.] "we have to get back to band practice, our bowling alley gig is next week." [His bandmates nod.] Ronnie Anne: "Wait, uh, will you play something for us? I'm sure Lincoln would love to hear one of your songs." Hector: "Okay, just one song." [Winks] [His band starts playing, and he starts singing; unfortunately it's the only song Ronnie Anne doesn't want to hear.] Hector: ♫ Young love Nothing is as beautiful as young love ♫ Ronnie Anne: [Throws a loaf of bread into Hector's mouth.] "Wow, that was great, but, I don't wanna wear you guys out before your gig." [The band shrugs and leaves.] Lincoln: "Hey, uh, are you okay Ronnie Anne? You're acting kind of weird." Ronnie Anne: "Heh heh, no I'm not, I just wanted you to get to know my family and friends better, like uh..." [Looks behind her and sees Vito.] "Vito!" Vito: "Uh, wha? Who?" [Ronnie Anne approaches him, and he moves his menu, revealing Big Tony and Little Sal eating the same piece of spaghetti.] "Um, you talkin' to me?" Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, it's been forever," [sits down] "let's catch up. How've you been" Vito: "Hey, why are you asking so many questions?" [Realizes something, and gets a little intimidating.] "How much do you know?!" [Little Sal throws the plate off the table, and Big Tony smashes a loaf of bread on the table like a glass bottle and points is at Ronnie Anne, both of them growl.] Ronnie Anne: [Aggravated] "Ugh, never mind, it's always 'how much do you know' with you." [Goes back to Lincoln.] Lincoln: "So, now that I've got you alone-" Ronnie Anne: [Looks left and right for a distraction.] "Uh... Waiter! Can you tell me what's in the, uh, Everything Salad?" Waiter: "Uh, everything." Ronnie Anne: "Go on." Waiter: [Sighs] "Cucumbers, tomatoes, capers..." Lincoln: "While you're deciding, I'm gonna go change." Waiter: "...tofu, an everything bagel..." Lincoln: "I should probably wear something more formal for what I'm about to do." [He goes into the bathroom, and Ronnie Anne gasps.] Waiter: "...gorgonzola, peperoncini," Ronnie Anne: [Starts retching] "I think I just lost my appetite." [The waiter sighs and goes away.]

[Meanwhile, Sid is in a tree looking for her bird.] Sid: "Where did you go you little rascal?" [Suddenly her phone rings, making her drop her binoculars to the ground, which is revealed to only be a few feet below.] "Ronnie Anne! I'm so sorry I bailed. Did it happen yet? Ronnie Anne: "No! He went to spruce himself up." Sid: "Sprucing's bad," [Her bird is right above her.] "Ooh, I know, just say your arthritis is flaring up, then leave. Works for my grandma every time." [Still doesn't notice her bird.] Ronnie Anne: "Or, I could just suck it up and tell him I don't feel the same way." Sid: "Both good options, call me after." [Ronnie Anne hangs up, and Lincoln returns.] Lincoln: "How do I look?" Ronnie Anne: [Shocked] "Ah!" [Lincoln is wearing white dress shoes, a black tuxedo, and an orange bowtie, he winks; Casually.] "Wow." [Shakes her head vigorously.] "Listen Lincoln, we gotta talk, umm, haha..." [Clutches her arm] "Ow! [Lincoln gasps] My arthritis is flaring up, let's get outta here." [She runs off, and Lincoln is confused.]

''[Back at the building, Ronnie Anne hurries into the apartment, followed by Lincoln. Carlos is reading a book, Frida is going through some notes, and Rosa is in the kitchen.]'' Ronnie Anne: [Sighs with relief] "Guess we're not gonna get alone time on this visit after all, sorry." Lincoln: "That's okay, I wanted to be alone with you because I was kind of nervous, but maybe it's best that your whole family's here for this." [Ronnie Anne is horrified by the thought of where this is going.] "Hey everyone!" [Ronnie Anne tries to stop him.] "Can I have your attention?!" [Rosa and Sergio think this is the moment.] Carlota: [Enters the room with everyone else.] "Hey, what's going on?" Rosa: [Darts past Carlota and CJ, full of excitement, leaving them spinning.] "Is it happening?!" Lincoln: [Next to the couch.] "Ronnie Anne, will you sit here?" Ronnie Anne: [Tries to escape.] "Uh, actually, I just remembered-" [Rosa pushes her to the couch anyway.] Rosa: "Siéntate, don't be rude, sit, sit." ''[Ronnie Anne nervously sits. Lincoln walks out in front of everyone, reaching for something in his back pocket, he gets on one knee, and Ronnie Anne gasps, horrified. Lincoln takes out a little box.]'' Ronnie Anne: [Whispers to herself] "No, no, no, no." [Lincoln opens the box, revealing a diamond ring; Ronnie Anne can't take it anymore.] "Lincoln! Please don't do this!" [Drops to her knees reaching out to her friend.] "It'll ruin everything!" [The family gasps, and Frida takes a picture.] Lincoln: [Looks around, confused] "Why? I'm not that bad at magic." Ronnie Anne: [Realizes] "Magic?" Lincoln: "Check it out." [Takes the ring out.] "Ladies and gentlemen, watch in amazement as this one ring becomes..." [Waves his hand one the ring, and two more appear.] "Three rings!" [Ronnie Anne is stunned, and everyone else is in awe.] "But wait! There's more!" [Squeezes the rings in his hands, and they interlock.] "Voila!" [Everyone applauds.] Frida: "Wow." Carl: "Do it again!" Hector: "I blinked, what happened?" Lincoln: "You've been a great audience." [Takes a bow, and puts a hand on his blushing friend.] "Thanks for letting me test out this trick before the school talent show, without practice, it could have been super awkward." Ronnie Anne: "Yeah, ha ha, we wouldn't want that." [Sighs with relief.]

[Later, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne leave the building.] Ronnie Anne: [Looking at the ground, kicks her foot.] "Hey Linc, thanks for coming to visit." [Gets her fist ready, Lincoln flinches, and Ronnie Anne hugs him.] "I'm really glad that we've stayed friends." [Let's go, still holding his hand.] Lincoln: "Of course, why wouldn't we?" [His phone rings] "Sorry, hang on a sec." [Answers] "Not now Rusty, your love letter will have to wait." [Hangs up] Ronnie Anne: "Oh, so Rusty's the one with the crush." Lincoln: "Yeah, he swears he met his soulmate in Reno last summer." [Realizes something] "Wait, who'd you think I was talking about?" Ronnie Anne: [Looks around] "Uh, look your mom's here." [Vanzilla pulls up, and Ronnie Anne sighs with relief.] Lincoln: "Well, for my final act, I will disappear. Abracadabra!" ''[Lincoln disappears in a puff of green smoke. Ronnie Anne gasps, but then sees Lincoln right in front of her struggling to get into the van, she chuckles at this.]'' "Mom! It's locked!"

[Ronnie Anne returns to the apartment, sighing with relief, and sees Rosa and Sergio looking at her.] Ronnie Anne: "What's that look Abuela? Ernesto Estrella was cleary wrong, I didn't find love." Rosa: "Fine Mija, but try not to be so closed-minded, the universe works in mysterious ways." [Just then, Sid's bird lands on the window sill.] Sergio: [Infatuated, squawks] "Come here often, pajarita?" [Makes tiger noises] Ronnie Anne: "Oh," [takes the bird] "there you are, Sid's been looking for you little guy." [Just then, Sid pops in, making kung fu noises, and rolls up to Ronnie Anne.] Sid: [Seeing the bird] "Oh good! You found my lovebird!" Rosa: [Shocked, as is Sergio.] "Lovebird?!" [She and Sergio gasp.] "Ernesto was right, you did find love today." Ronnie Anne: [Smirks, rolling her eyes.] "Okay Abuela, I guess technically he was right." [Ernesto emerges on screen.] Ernesto Estrella: [To the audience] "Boo-Yah! I told you Ernesto, was the besto. Estrella, out!" [Disappears]