User blog:J.D. Brony/Story Time - Cards Against Louds

'''Before you read this story, let me just tell you, do NOT get the wrong idea of this story's title. I know what its referencing, but I'm going to change it up to a point that it's a family-friendly version kind of game.'''

'''Okay? Don't freak out, please? Please? Thank you.'''

(The Loud kids are all in the living room, looking bored.)

Lincoln: If it's not obvious to you all yet, I'm bored.

Luna: Don't worry, bro. We ALL know how you feel.

Lola: Well, what should we do? I don't feel like looking at my beautiful self right now.

Lana: How about we play a game?

Lincoln: What game?

Lana: That's where the rest of you give suggestions.

Lincoln: Well, there's this game I heard about called "Cards Against Humanity". I've heard that it's a pretty funny game to play.

Leni: What kind of card game has a name like that?

Lori: It literally sounds like an offensive game.

Lincoln: Well, it is technically an offensive game. But I've found a family-friendly version of it. I have the deck right here with me.

(Lincoln shows the girls the family-friendly "Cards Against Humanity" box and opens it to reveal the cards.)

Lynn: Woah...that's a lot of cards.

Lincoln: Well, there's actually two kinds of cards. If you let me explain, there are the black cards, which are question cards and then, there are the white cards, which are the answer cards.

Luan: So, how do you play it?

Lincoln: Each of us will get a set of white cards. Then, a black card will be played, which is either a question or a fill-in-the-blank card. Afterwards, each of us have to choose a white card from our deck on what we think best answers the black card. Simple.

Luna: Well, what are we waiting for, dudes? Let's play.

(The Louds soon each receive their own deck of white cards, and then play the first black card.)

Lincoln: (reads the black card) I've got 99 problems and "blank" ain't one of them.

(All the Loud kids sans Lincoln play their card.)

Lincoln: Alright, let's see what we've got.

(He soon flips all of the cards to see what they've answered.)

The cards that the Loud kids played. Black Card: I've got 99 problems and ________ ain't one of them.
 * "Chocolate pudding."
 * "Balls."
 * "The whole world."
 * "Bad hair days."
 * "Instant messaging."
 * "Playing dirty."
 * "Pink."
 * "British rock stars."
 * "A deep depression."

Lincoln: (snickers) We're off to a great start here...

Luan: (laughs) Wh...who...who played the se...cond one?

Lincoln: I...ha...I don't know, but I want to pick it so bad.

Lisa: Lucy, is the last one yours?

Lucy: What do you think?

Lisa: 'Cause I can't distinguish whether the card you've played is the last one or the the third one.

Lincoln: Alright, well, I think I've picked our winner.

(He picks the card that says, "Balls.")

Lynn: Yeah!

Lori: I think we all should've known that that was Lynn's card.

Lincoln: Alright, Lori. You're next to read a black card.

Lori: (reads the black card) How would you like your coffee? Cold, hot or "blank"?

(All the Loud kids sans Lori play their card.)

The cards that the Loud kids played. '''Black Card: How would you like your coffee? Cold, hot or ________?'''
 * "Medium."
 * "Free ice cream."
 * "Inexplicably wet."
 * "Very, very hot."
 * "Brewed."
 * "Being upside down."
 * "Trying to do a headstand."
 * "A dark shade of brown."
 * "Flawlessly beautiful."

Lori: Most of these don't even make sense!

Lincoln: Well, you're going to have to pick one that you think suits best. That's how the game works. It doesn't always have to make sense.

Lynn: (snickers) I personally like the fourth one.

Lisa: I think I know which one's Lola's and which one's Lucy's.

Lana: I'm sure you do.

Lori: Okay, I think I'll pick...(picks the card that says, "Brewed.")...this one.

Leni: Yay! I won!

Lola: Oh, come on! Mine was "Flawlessly beautiful."

Lincoln: Alright, Leni. Your turn to read.

Leni: Read? Read what?

Lincoln: (sighs) A black card.

Leni: Oh, goody! (reads the black card) What is the latest fashion trend? Oooh, that is, like, so something I would say!

(All the Loud kids sans Leni play their card.)

The cards that the Loud kids played. Black Card: What is the latest fashion trend?
 * "My beautiful self."
 * "Black."
 * "Cosplaying as comic book superheroes."
 * "A lab coat."
 * "Nothing."
 * "Being a little dizzy."
 * "Trash can lids for hats."
 * "Polished nails."
 * "Middle-aged men on roller skates."

Luna: (shocked) Who...played...the last one?

Lincoln: (looks at the last card) Oh my, goodness. Wow...yeah, I wonder who played that one.

Leni: Oooh! I like this one. (picks the card that says, "Trash can lids for hats.") Because I've done it before.

Lana: Yes! That's my card.

Lori: I literally can't believe that's an actual card.

Lana: Um, it isn't, actually. I wrote it in.

Lola: (looks at Lana) Really?

Lana: Yeah. It had nothing on it. So, I wrote my own answer.

Lincoln: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. If you have a white card that has nothing on it, it's a blank card. That means you can write your own answer on it.

Luna: Alright. Guess I'm next. Oooh, I like this one. (reads the black card) Nothing relieves stress better than "blank".

Lincoln: (smiles and whispers to himself) I have the perfect card for this.

(All the Loud kids sans Luna play their cards.)

The cards that the Loud kids played. Black Card: Nothing relieves stress better than ________.
 * "A rock concert."
 * "The darkness."
 * "My dad."
 * "A tablespoon of cinnamon."
 * "All of the above."
 * "Leveling up."
 * "That moment when you forgot to clear your search history."
 * "Nightgowns."
 * "Uppercuts."

Luna: Congratulations. I don't even have to read them. (picks the card that says, "A rock concert.")

Lincoln: Yeah, that's right!

Lynn: Come on! "Uppercuts." was funny.

Leni: I don't know why "Nightgowns." didn't win.

Luan: Dang it! I wasted "My dad." (abruptly pauses) That meant something else when I said it that way. Oh, shoot. I'm really sorry for that.

Luna: You know me well, little bro.

Lincoln: Haven't I always?

Lori: I'll be honest. I'm actually enjoying this game.

Leni: Me too! Like, this is so fun to play!

Lincoln: Alright, this is the last round for now, since we're running low on time. Okay, Luan. Your turn to read.

Luan: (smiles and laughs) Oh, man! Of all the ones I could've picked I get this one. Okay. (reads the black card) Why did the chicken cross the road?

Luna: (snickers) Okay. I'll just say this, dudes. My card doesn't make sense. But it's really funny.

Luan: Oh, we'll see about that.

The cards that the Loud kids played. Black Card: Why did the chicken cross the road?
 * "Oh, no reason."
 * "The Internet."
 * "Because I'm Batman!"
 * "Just because."
 * "My loud, annoying neighbors."
 * "An uppercut."
 * "Poor life choices."
 * "A serious case of crippling depression."
 * "Early Christmas."

Luan: (laughs hysterically)

Luna: Did you find out which card's mine yet?

Luan: I...ha...I'm not sure, but I did find some really good ones.

Lisa: Lynn, is "An uppercut." yours?

Lynn: Oh, come on! Yes! It was mine.

Lisa: Just asking.

Lincoln: Who played the eighth one? Holy moly...

Lucy: Me.

Lincoln: Oh yeah, right.

Lola: To be honest, I like the fourth one. It's like not even finished.

Lana: Well, I like the first one better. It's straight to the point.

Lori: Have you picked one yet, Luan?

Luan: (starts tearing up from laughing) I...ha...I...ha...think I have one now. (picks the card that says, "Because I'm Batman!")

Luna: Yeah! Woohoo! I knew that card would be the one!

Luan: Bravo, sis. (claps) Just...bravo. I wasn't expecting you to play that card.

Lincoln: Well played, Luna. Dang...mine was the first one.

Lola: Mine was "Early Christmas."

Lana: Mine was "The Internet."

Lisa: Mine was "Poor life choices."

Lori: Mine was the fifth one.

Leni: Mine was the fourth one.

Lincoln: Alright, guys. So, that was fun, wasn't it?

Lynn: Yeah, I'll admit. It was kinda fun.

Leni: Oooh, I really, like, wanna do more of this!

Lori: I'm literally have to show this game to Bobby.

Lucy: Even though I didn't win a single round, I still had fun.

Lola and Lana: Us too!

Lincoln: Well then, I guess we'll play again some other time. You know, maybe I can show you guys the online version.

Luna: There's an online version of this game?

Lincoln: Yeah. I mean, pretty much all board games have their online version at this time of year.

Luna: Cool. Can't wait.

Lincoln: Alright, guys. I guess that's another fun time done for the day.

Lily: (giggles) Poo-poo.

THE END

Other Stuff

 * This is actually my first time writing a story.
 * As I've said before, this story is based on a game called "Cards Against Humanity". If you don't know what that is, I'm just gonna say, it's a pretty offensive game.
 * Because the game itself is offensive, I decided to make it more family-friendly for this story.
 * Honestly, I've always imagined how the Loud kids would react to playing games like these, which is why I made this story possible.
 * I sometimes get a lot of card references from YouTubers that I have watched playing the said game. Most of it was Mini Ladd. (Link to his channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/MiniLaddd)

Remarks

 * So, what are your thoughts? Did I do good on my first time at writing a story? Because I've always told myself that I'm not really good at storytelling. But yeah, let me know what you guys think about this post of mine.
 * POSITIVE responses are, of course, very much appreciated.

'''Well, I guess that's it for this "Story Time" segment. Thanks for reading! :)'''

- J.D. Brony