User blog:EpsilonMk46/Shortfiction: Sandwich City

[We open with a shot of Lola's room, where Lola and Lana, with the latter being tied down to a chair. are having a tea party.]

Lola: Ahhh, you know what I love about these cucumber sandwiches?

Lana: The feeling of being free?

Lola: Everything.

[Lola lets out a haughty little laugh and proceeds to lift her tea cup before a voice chimes in.]

Luan: (voiceover) Yes, those sandwiches may be great, but do you know what's even better?

Lola: -Gasp- WHAT?!

Luan: Iiiiit's..... Sandwich City!!

[A sign with that name pops in from the camera and knocks Lola to the floor.]

Luan: That's right! Why settle for a boring ol' regular sandwich when you can have one with fresh cut, fully juiced pickle chips, freshly grown lettuce, tomato, grilled chicken breast, and white bread with a honey glaze, all with a layer of thousand island dressing inside?

[The sandwich then appears right in front of the twins.]

Lola: EEEEEEEEE!! Thank you, Sandwich City!

[Lola picks up the sandwich and opens her mouth to take a bite, before-]

Luan: Hold your horses there, princess. We aren't done yet! Next, we take that sandwich and cover it in a coat of chocolate moose! Afterwards, we add rainbow sprinkles and a dash of oregano as toppings.

[The sandwich then transforms in Lola's hands.]

Lola: (eyes-sparkling) AAAAHHHHHH!! You already struck oil! Now lemme eat it!

Luan: Not so fast, Lola. We still haven't gotten to the best part: two perfectly tender pieces of ribeye steak, each serenated in teriyaki sauce, on the top and bottom parts of the sandwich, all held together by two toasted sliced of sourdough bread!

[The sandwich transforms in her hand once more.]

Lola: Oh, uh... That sounds yummy, but... (starts to sweat) This is getting kinda big.

Luan: Well, it's about to get even bigger, after we wrap a seasoned to perfection taco shell with a thick layer of guacamole all around this sucker!

[The sandwhich, on cue, transforms.]

Lola: ......Is that all?

Luan: Not just yet! Next, we wrap all that in an omelet filled to the brim with cheddar cheese, thinly sliced ham strips, as well as hibachi shrimp and scallops.

[As you may have guessed, the sandwich transforms once again.]

Lola: (deadpanned) Can I eat it now?

Luan: Of course!

[Lola's expression brightens as she-]

Luan: But not before we take THAT and wrap it in a golden brown, chocolate chip pancake, before we deep fry it all in a beer batter. And last but certainly not least, we serve it to you in our very own patented Sandwich City backpack, all with a batch of Szechaun sauce at the very bottom!

[The sandwich dissapears from Lola's hands, and a backpack pops onto Lola's back. She takes it off, peaks inside, and gags before putting it on the ground.

Lola: (nauseous) On second thought, we'll stick with our regular cucumber sandwiches, thank you very much.

Lana: Speak for yourself!

[The camera then zooms out to see Lana completely free of her ropes, ravenously shaking in her boots, eyeing the inside of her backpack with drool dripping from her mouth. And before Lola can even say a word, Lana dives in, head first, as a chainsaw sound effect plays in the background the whole she's eating away. After about a minute, Lana finally emerges out with a large amount of sause all over her face.]

Lana: That was DELICIOUS!!! Thanks, Sandwich Ci-

-Gurgle-

Lana: ....Uh oh... I... (gags) I don't feel so good.

[Lana then makes a mad dash to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her, all while Lola peeks out into the hall with worry. At that moment, Luan pops in front of the camera.]

Luan: Only available at Sandwich City! Get yours today!

[A vomiting sound comes from the bathroom.]

Luan: SandwichCityisnotresponsibleforanydiseasesthatcanbecaughtfromeatingthissandwichwhichincludebutarenotlimitedtovomitingdiareahobesityinfluenzaandtheblackplague.Eatatyourownrisk.Ourfoodisonlyavailabletotheresidentsof1216FranklinAvenueaswellasanyonewhoisabletocorrectlyguesswhatthisskitisinspiredby.