User blog:MrTyeDye/Fanfiction: Peeking Through the Fourth Wall (Episode 2)

Well, I got this done earlier than anticipated! I had an interview scheduled for today that got postponed, so I used that time to put the finishing touches on this. Enjoy!

''[We open, again, in the Loud House living room. This time, Lincoln is accompanied by Leni and Luna on his right, and Lola and Lisa on his left. All of them are looking into the camera.]''

Lincoln: Hi, everyone! Lincoln Loud here, again.

Leni: Like, hi!

Luna: What's up, dudes?

Lola: Hiiii, beautiful people!

Lisa: Greetings. Again.

Lincoln: Today, I'm going to be reading another story!...with a different crowd, just to keep things interesting. I kept Lisa, around, though, since a lot of you seemed to enjoy her commentary.

Lisa: I'm flattered.

Lincoln: And the story we're going to read today is... [peers at screen] "Substitute Roommate" by Bobbybooboobear!

Lisa: "Bobby Boo-Boo Bear?"

Luna: Isn't that what Lori calls her boyfriend?

Leni: [gasps] Is Bobby writing stories about us?!

Lincoln: No, Leni. I'm sure it's just some guy who decided to name himself after Bobby.

Leni: But, like... why, though?

Lincoln: Your guess is as good as mine. [looks back at screen] Oh, hey, it looks like we've got a plot summary this time! Let's see what this is about.

After Luan heads off to camp, Luna is feeling lonely while sleeping by herself, so she asks Lincoln is she can sleep with him, and he allows her to, but Luna does something in her sleep that made Lincoln not want Luna be her "roommate".

[All of them look at the screen worriedly.]

Luna: Do I even want to know?

Lincoln: I guess we're gonna find out regardless. [gulps]

PROLOGUE (The scene starts off with Luna laying down on her bed. She is practicing with her guitar while laying down. Suddenly, she hears Luan packing up stuff. In curiosity, she looks down on her bunk bed to see Luan packing her bags for something)

Luna: All right, I'm likin' this so far! Let's see where this goes.

Luna: Luan?

(Luan then looks up, noticing Luna)

Luan: Oh hey, Luna!

Luna: What are you doing?

Luan: Just packing things up.

''Luna: Uh... for what?''

Luan: I'm going camping, that's what.

''Luna: Camping? Since when?''

Luan: Oh, I didn't get to tell you before I got signed up.

Luna: So... she signed up for sleepaway camp and she didn't even tell me until the day she left?

Lincoln: Yeah, that sounds kind of fishy to me.

Leni: Well, she is going camping. I'm sure she'll see plenty of fish.

Lola: [rolls eyes] Leave the jokes to Luan, Leni.

Leni: Jokes?

(Then, a bus can be heard from outside, honking)

''Luan: Oh! That's the bus! So long, Luna!''

''Luna: Luan! Wait-''

(Luan exits their room with the bags and closes the door behind her. Luna lays on her bed and sighs)

CHAPTER 1

(The next scene then cuts to Lynn and Lincoln outside in the backyard. Lincoln is holding a baseball bat while Lynn is holding the baseball)

''Lincoln: I'm not sure about this, Lynn. What if I hit someone or something like a window?''

Lisa: That would necessitate hitting the ball hard enough to send it outside the boundaries of the backyard, which I doubt you're capable of.

Lincoln: Hey!...Shut up!

''Lynn: Come on, Lincoln! Don't be such a scaredy-cat! Don't worry about the things outside this backyard. Just focus on the ball and hit it! Okay?''

Lincoln: (sighs) I guess...

''Lynn: Alright! (Is about to throw the ball) In three... two... one...''

(Lynn throws the ball at Lincoln. Lincoln swings the bat and hits the baseball as it flies through the air and onto the sidewalk)

''Lynn: See, Lincoln? It ain't that hard!''

Lincoln: But it just landed on the sidewalk.

Lola: Well, duh. Where'd you want it to land?

Lynn: Wanna try again?

''Lincoln: Nah! I'm good-''

''Lynn: Come on, Lincoln! Just one more time!''

Lincoln: Fiiiiiinnnnneeee!

(Lincoln holds the bat up, ready to swing the ball. Lynn throws the ball again and Lincoln hits it again, but this time, it hits the window of Mr. Grouse's house and hits Mr. Grouse offscreen)

Lincoln: Wait, how did I hit the window and Mr. Grouse? That's impossible.

Luna: Well, unless the baseball broke the window, but I think the author would have mentioned that.

Mr. Grouse: OW!

(Mr. Grouse then shows up, rubbing his head and holding the baseball)

''Mr. Grouse: ARE YOU KIDDING ME, LOUD!? PLAYING BASEBALL IN A NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE YOU CAN HIT PEOPLE?''

Lisa: As opposed to a neighborhood where you can't hit people?

Leni: Oh, like Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood! There's no hitting in that neighborhood.

Lisa: [deadpan] You're adorable, Leni.

''Lincoln: Sorry, Mr. Grouse! Lynn made me do it!''

''Mr. Grouse: Whatever! Anyways, this is mine now! My yard, my property!''

Lincoln: It wasn't even in your-

''Mr. Grouse: My house counts as well! (Walks inside with the baseball)''

Lincoln: [sighs] That sounds like Mr. Grouse, all right.

(Lincoln then glares at Lynn in disappointment. Lincoln then heads inside)

''Lynn: What? You stroke it! (sighs)''

Leni: Does he?

Luna: I don't know, and I don't want to know.

Lola: What are you two talking about?

Luna: You'll understand when you're older.

Inside the house...

(The next scene then shows Lincoln walking to the stairs)

Lincoln: Stupid Lynn... Having to make Mr. Grouse yell at me...

(Lincoln walks up the stairs, but then all the sudden, when he got on the top step, he notices Luna sitting down with her face down and crossing her arms like if she was crying)

Lincoln: Luna?

(Lincoln then walks up to her)

''Lincoln: Are you... alright?''

Luna: (in a depressed voice) No...

''Lincoln: Uh... why not?''

(Luna doesn't respond)

''Lincoln: Hello? Luna!''

(Luna is about to pat Luna's shoulder until Luna slightly pushes him away and starts crying)

Luna: (sobbing) Just leave me alone, dude!

Luna: Wow, what happened off screen?

''Lincoln: Come on, I just wanna know what's wrong. Did something depressing happen, like Mick Swagger's death?''

Luna: Whoa! You see me crying and that's your first guess?!

''Luna: (sighs, then raises head up) No, dude! It's not that... It's just that Luan has started camp and I'm all alone in my room.''

[Beat]

Lincoln: Seriously?

Lola: That's what you were crying about?!

Luna: Yeah, this doesn't really sound like me. I'd be a little bummed out, but I wouldn't cry over it.

''Lincoln: Uh... So? You can still do stuff-''

Luna: No I can't, dude!

Lincoln: Yes, you absolutely can. You have nine other siblings to spend time with, and nobody's telling you that you have to stay in your room. Is this really the conflict of the story?

Lisa: Unfortunately, it appears so.

Luna: Things get really lonely in my room without someone else there.

Lincoln: Look, I'm all alone in my room, but I do stuff when I get bored, so I don't need a roommate.

(Lincoln begins to walk away from Luna. Suddenly, Luna comes up with an idea)

''Luna: Speaking of roommate... Can I stay in your room until Luan comes back?''

Lincoln: Wouldn't it make more sense for me to stay in yours? You know, so we'd have more space and we'd each have our own beds?

Luna: Can't recommend that, Linc. Luan likes to booby trap her bed whenever she goes away.

(This question makes Lincoln stop and turn to Luna)

''Lincoln: STAY IN MY ROOM!? OH... NO NO NO NO! THAT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN!''

Luna: Why not, dude!?

''Lincoln: Because the last time I let someone in (cough) Lynn (cough)... She tried to harm me, kept me up all night with her snoring, and tried to wreck my room! I'm afraid you might do the same!''

Luna: Oh, come on, dude! I'd make a way better roommate than Lynn!

Lincoln: Trust me, I know. Practically anyone would be. I mean, she snores like a monster truck!

Lola: And she has the worst B.O. ever!

Lisa: And her flatulence has the aroma of sulfur and gasoline.

Leni: I don't know, guys, I really liked having Lynn as a roommate. She can bench press me!

[Luna gives Leni a peculiar look.]

Luna: Oooookay...

''Luna: Hey, you let me sleep in your room once! Remember!?''

''Lincoln: Yeah... Nope! Don't remember that!''

Lincoln: Neither do I.

Luna: Yeah, when did that happen?

''Luna: (begging) Come on! Please! I won't bother you in your sleep!''

Lola: Sheesh! How needy can you get? Even I don't get this clingy when Lana's not around!

''Lincoln: Hm... Do you promise?''

Luna: Yep!

Lincoln: You sure?

''Luna: I swear, for the love of the best rock singer by the name of Mick Swagger, I deeply promise to not bother you in your sleep like Lynn would. I cross my heart and hope to die!''

Lincoln: (sighs) Alright, I guess you can stay in my room until Luan comes back from camp.

Lincoln: Wait... how long is that? I don't think we ever learned how long Luan's going to be away.

Luna: Yes!

(Luna gets up and hugs Lincoln as he makes an annoyed face)

Luna: Thanks, dude!

Lincoln: (sighs) Come on!

Luna: Is that any way to react to a hug from your big sis?

Lincoln: No. You know what? It really isn't.

''[After a beat, Lincoln leans to the side and rests his head on Luna's shoulder. Luna smiles and starts stroking his hair.]''

(Lincoln pushes Luna off and walks to his room. Luna excitedly follows him. As they got inside, Lincoln shuts the door behind them)

Luna: So, what do you do in your room?

Lincoln: Oh, I just lay down on my bed and read comics.

Luna: WHAT!?

Lincoln: What?

Luna: That's all you do in your room!?

Lincoln: Well, I play video games, too...

''Lincoln: Uh, yeah! So?''

Luna: Dude, laying in your butt while reading your dumb comments is BOOOOOOORIIIIIING!

Lincoln: Hey, my comics aren't-

Luna: Why don't you do some fun stuff like play instruments or listen to music on your smartphone?

Lola: I can't believe I'm saying this, but I have to side with Lincoln on this one.

Luna: What? Why?

Lola: When you're in someone else's living space, you are their guest. The host is giving you the privilege of staying there. It is not your place to make demands of the host.

Luna: [rolls eyes] Yes, thank you, Miss Manners.

Lincoln: Luna, you know I'm not interested-

(Luna runs back to her room to get something)

Lincoln: Where are you going?

(Luna then exits her room and returns to Lincoln's room, carrying her guitar and a drumset)

Lincoln: Really, Luna?

''Luna: (grabs her guitar) Come on, dude! Let's play!''

''Lincoln: No, Luna! I rather do quiet stuff!''

Lisa: And I'd rather hear you speak properly.

''Luna: (annoyed) Hey, I'm your roommate! We should have fun together, dude! You know, like brothers and sisters do! You can't just hang out by yourself reading those comics of yours! You gotta hang out with your sisters, so you gotta have time with your roommate like playing music!''

Luna: Okay, I gotta admit, this Luna is starting to get on my nerves. Why am I being written like some kind of needy control freak?!

Lincoln: (sighs) I guess you're right...

(Lincoln grabs out a couple drumsticks)

Luna: And a one, and a two, and the one, two, three, four!

(Lincoln and Luna start playing their drums and guitar, making a lot of noise)

Meanwhile...

(The next scene then cuts to the rest of the Loud sisters, covering their ears)

''Lola: (screaming while covering her ears) ERR! I CAN'T HEAR MY DOGBITE SHOW!''

Lola: My what show?

Leni: Is that, like, a show where you see dogs biting people? Who would watch that?

Lana: (also screaming while covering her ears) WHAT!?

(Lynn breaks a window and hops out. Later, time has passed, and...

Lincoln: Wait, wait, wait. Why exactly did Lynn break that window?

Leni: I know, right? Like, she can just open the window and jump out it. She doesn't have to break it.

...Lincoln and Luna has finished their song)

Lisa: HAVE. Why is subject-verb agreement so hard to grasp for some writers?

''Luna: Whew! You see dude? Playing instruments is a fun thing to do when you have me with you as a roommate.''

Lincoln: Yeah, sure...

Luna: So, what do you wanna do now?

Lincoln: Hm...

(Lincoln looks around. Lincoln then looks through his window to see that it is now night)

Lincoln: Whoa! How long were we playing for? Did we just miss dinner?

Lisa: More importantly, did the rest of the family just eat their dinner in silence while that infernal racket blared throughout the house?

Lincoln: Well, it's night time now, so we should probably go to sleep.

''Luna: Alright! Can't wait to have more fun tomorrow!''

(Lincoln and Luna tuck themselves to Lincoln's bed. Luna then realizes that she forgot something)

''Luna: Oh! I forgot something!''

Lincoln: What?

(Luna then sticks her hand in her pocket and gets out a phone and headphones)

''Lincoln: Uh, really? Headphones?''

''Luna: Yep! So I can listen to my music while I sleep.''

Luna: Hey, yeah, I do listen to music when I sleep! How'd he know?

Lincoln: Whatever, just go to-

Luna: Lincoln!

Lincoln: (starting to get annoyed) What?

Luna: Goodnight and hope we'll have fun tomorrow!

(Luna turns over and gives Lincoln a goodnight kiss)

Luna: Love ya, roommate!

(Luna then turns over and sleeps. Lincoln wipes off the kiss in disgust.)

Luna: Is that any way to react to a goodnight kiss from your big sis?

Lincoln: No. You know what? It really isn't.

''[After a moment of silence, Luna pecks Lincoln on the cheek. A moment after that, Lola leans over and pecks Lincoln on the other cheek. Lincoln smirks and puts his arms around both of them.]''

(Lincoln then falls asleep. However, after only 5 seconds, loud heavy metal music can be heard with the volume all the way up, even though Luna is wearing headphones. Lincoln immediately opens his eyes and stares at Luna. Highly annoyed, Lincoln grabs the headphones and phone and throws them on the floor. Luna notices and wakes up)

Luna: Dude, what was that for!?

''Lincoln: The real question is... WHY IS THE MUSIC'S VOLUME ALL THE WAY UP!?''

Luna: THAT'S HOW I SLEEP, DUDE!

''Lincoln: But you'll- Ah! Whatever, just go to sleep!''

(Lincoln and Luna lay back down in annoyance and sleep)

Luna: That sounds eerily similar to a lot of roommate squabbles I've had with Luan.

Lincoln: I'm not surprised.

CHAPTER 2



[Leni starts turning up the brightness on the screen.]

Lincoln: What are you doing, Leni?

Leni: It said that this chapter's going to be dark! I wanna make sure we can see it!

3 Hours Later...

(The next scene then cuts to Lincoln sleeping peacefully. Suddenly, he begins to hear chewing. Lincoln slowly gets up, rubs his eyes, and turn to his left side, only to see Luna eating pizza out a pizza box. He also notices that the crumbs are on his bed. This makes Lincoln angry)

Lola: Um, ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Gross with a capital G.

Luna: What, you don't like pizza?

Lola: I love pizza. I just don't like getting greasy oil stains all over my sheets! And neither should you!

Lincoln: LUNA!

Luna: Hm?

(Luna turns to Lincoln and notices that he is awake)

''Luna: (mouth full) Oh hey, Lincoln! (takes a bite of a pizza slice) What's up?''

''Lincoln: WHY ARE YOU EATING PIZZA ON MY BED!? PLUS, WHERE DID YOU GET IT FROM!?''

(Luna puts her hand with her index finger rising on his face, telling him to hold on. Luna then swallows the pizza that was in her mouth)

Lola: Well, at least she's polite enough not to talk with her mouth full.

Luna: One, I got hungry!

Lincoln: So raid the fridge! We've got a fully stocked refrigerator downstairs, and you don't even have to pay for the food you take from it!

Luna: Two, I called my buddy, Chunk, to buy the pizza and bring it to me while you were asleep.

Luna: Yeah, no. I wouldn't call Chunk in the middle of the night to tell him to buy me a pizza and drive it to my house. And if I did, he'd probably hang up on me.

''Lincoln: AND YOU EAT IT ON MIDNIGHT!? IN MY ROOM!?''

Lincoln: Yeah, couldn't you have just eaten it downstairs? Why'd you have to take it up to my room?

Luna: Why are you asking me?! I didn't do any of this stuff! She... I mean, I... the other me... ah, forget it.

''Luna: Well, I had to eat something at that time. Plus, since you're my roommate, I believed that you would allow to me do whatever I want here.''

Lincoln: That's not how it works. That's not how any roommate arrangement works.

Lisa: It's how my roommate arrangement works.

Lincoln: Your roommate is a baby who hasn't learned how to say "no" to you yet. You don't count.

(Lincoln just stares at Luna, making an angry face at Luna. Lincoln then grabs the pizza box and the crumbs and leaves the room)

''Luna: Hey, where are ya going? I wasn't finished!''

Meanwhile...

(The next scene then cuts to Lori getting a cup of milk. Suddenly, she hears Lincoln come down the stairs. He then enters the kitchen.)

''Lori: Lincoln, why are you- (notices the pizza boxes) WAIT A MINUTE! DID YOU LITERALLY BUY PIZZA DURING THE NIGHT?''

Lincoln: [rolls eyes] Of course Lori would blame me.

Lincoln: Lori, I swear for the love of Ronnie Anne...

Lincoln: Oh, come on! I do not love Ronnie Anne! I don't even like her!...I mean, I do like her, but I don't, you know, like her, like... she's not my girlfriend!

''Lincoln: ...I did not buy any of these boxes! Luna did-''

Lori: Hey, don't blame it on your other sisters, twerp!

Lincoln: But I didn't do it!

Lori: Whatever, just don't lie!

(Lincoln groans and walks up to the trash bin, only to find that it's full)

Lincoln: Aw, come on!

''Lori: Yep! The bin's full. You're gonna have to take it outside and throw it away.''

Lincoln: (walking away from the kitchen) Whatever, dweeb!

Lori: Excuse me?

(Lincoln just makes an annoyed glare at Lori, not saying anything.)

Lincoln: Did Lori just let me get away with calling her a dweeb?

Lisa: That's the least believable aspect of this story so far.

(He then proceeds to exit the kitchen and walk outside. Lori then exhales and gulps down her cup of milk. The next scene then cuts to Lincoln walking towards the garbage bin. However, when he got there, he sees Lynn, still covering her ears)

Lisa: I see we have another author who has a bit of trouble keeping his tenses consistent. Fortunately, he's better at it than the last author.

''Lincoln: Uh... Lynn? Lynn!''

(Lincoln pats Lynn on the shoulder, scaring her)

''Lynn: AH! Is it over?''

Lincoln: What's over?

Lynn: That loud music that sounded like it came from upstairs.

[Beat]

Lincoln: What?

Lola: Since when is Lynn that scared of loud music?

Luna: Yeah, she lives one door down from me. If she was scared of loud music, she'd have PTSD by now.

Leni: She'd have what now?

Luna: You know, post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSD.

[Leni still looks confused.]

Lisa: She'd have "pits-duh", Leni.

Leni: Ohhh! That thing.

''Lincoln: Oh, you mean Luna's instruments that I was forced to play with by my "roommate"? Yeah, of course it's over! Why would it still be going if you can't hear it anymore? Now excuse me while I throw these pizza boxes away...''

(Lincoln then opens the garbage bin and throws the pizza boxes inside. After that, Lincoln walks away and heads back inside the house)

Lynn: Well, now that all of that music "rackus" is over, what should I do now?

Luna: Go back inside? Just a thought...

(Lynn looks around and then sees Mr. Grouse's house. She then remembers when Mr. Grouse got their baseball and kept them. This gives Lynn an idea)

Lynn: Hm...

(Lynn runs away from the Loud house to get inside Mr. Grouse's house)

Luna: Uh, oh...

Leni: What? You said that she should go back inside, and that's what she did.

Lincoln: Can't argue with that, Luna.

3 Hours Later...

(The next scene then cuts to Lincoln sleeping on his bed, carrying Bun-Bun. Suddenly, he hears crying. He turns over and opens his eyes, only to see that Luna is not on her bed)

Lincoln: Luna?

(He turns over again, only to see Luna staring at the wall, crying. He notices a huge writing on the wall that says "Why?".)

[Everyone gawks at the screen.]

Lincoln: What in the name of Chris Savino have we gotten ourselves into?

Luna: (crying) Why did you have to make me suffer from all of this, Luan?

Lincoln: Luna?

Luna: Holy diver! What kind of basket case does this author think I am?!

(Luna stops crying and slowly turns to Lincoln, showing that her eyes are completely closed)

Luna: Luan?

Lincoln: (confused) What?

(Suddenly, Luna immediately grabs Lincoln by the shirt and pulls him towards her while carrying a belt)

''[All of the Loud siblings' expressions shift from shocked to horrified. None of them have the wherewithal to speak.]''

Luna: LUAN!

Lincoln: (confused and scared) LUNA!?

''Luna: Why? Just why, Luan? Why didn't you tell me that you were going to camp... And since when did you even decide to sign up for the stupid camp? Do you not know what it's like to not have a roommate like you in my room!?''

Lincoln: Luna, just calm-

(Luna pulls on Lincoln's shirt tighter, hurting the back of Lincoln's neck)

''Luna: I felt really lonely and depressed, dudette! I was crying because I had no one to sleep with! I was isolated, until my mouse brother, Lincoln, decided to keep me in his room and plan on doing fun stuff tomorrow! Unlike him, you probably would never do fun stuff with me! Wouldn't ya?''

Lincoln: Luna, please-

Luna: WOULDN'T YA!?

(Lincoln starts to form tears in his eyes in terror)

''Luna: I thought you cared about me just like my other sisters and Lincoln do, but nope! It turns out I was 100% wrong about you! And now that you're back from your dumb camp, I guess I should give you what you deserve for making me suffer from all of the isolation, depression, and grief!''

(Luna raises her belt in the air, ready to beat Lincoln with it, but before she could, she ends up collapsing on the floor, sleeping and letting go of Lincoln. Lincoln then yelps several times in fear. The next scene then skips to Lincoln tucking Luna to bed fearfully, making her face away from Lincoln)

[The Loud siblings are still staring at the screen in utter horror.]

Lola: I'm sorry; I need to drop something.

[Lola leaves the room, goes to the kitchen, brings back an empty glass, turns back towards the camera and drops the glass on the floor.]

''Lincoln: Alright, Luna! Just stay right there! (Grabs the belt) I got the belt with me! I should probably just make it through the morning-''

(Luna makes a blood-curdling scream in her sleep, terrifying Lincoln)

Lincoln: What was that!?

(The next scene then...

Lincoln: No, I want an answer to that question! What was that?!

Lola: Who gets that upset over not having someone to sleep with?!

Lisa: And I should point out that at this point in the story, Luan has been gone for less than twenty-four hours. Such a gross overreaction would probably be indicative of deep-seated mental issues.

Luna: No argument there, dude.

Leni: Linky... I'm scared.

''...skips to morning time. Luna is still sleeping as Lincoln is shivering and whimpering in fear on his bed, tramuatized by what Luna was doing in 3 AM in the morning.)''

Lisa: As opposed to 3 AM in the afternoon?

(Luna then wakes up. She stretches and yawns)

''Luna: Mmm... What a beautiful morning!''

(Luna turns to Lincoln)

Luna: Ready to have some fun-

(Before Luna can finish, she notices that Lincoln is shivering and whimpering in fear)

''Luna: (concerned) Are you okay, dude? It looks like you haven't got any sleep.''

''Lincoln: (tramuatized) Nope... I haven't got any sleep!''

Luna: Why not, man?

''Lincoln: (in his mind) Uh, what's another way to explain this? (out loud) I was... hearing noises at night, that's all.''

Luna: Full disclosure, little man; if I ever did that in my sleep, I'd want you to tell me.

Lincoln: Noted.

Luna: Wouldn't wanna leave you sleeping with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight.

''Luna: They're probably just stray cats, dude. There's nothing to worry about! Come on, let's just have some breakfast...''

(Luna was about to put her arm around Lincoln until Lincoln immediately moves away from Luna)

Lincoln: (fearfully) No, no, no! I-i-i'm good!

Luna: What?

''Lincoln: (fearfully) I mean, I just... don't need your arm around me!''

''Luna: Why not, dude? I was just trying to get you to calm down.''

''Lincoln: Well, I just don't need it since you tried to beat me last night- I mean, since I'm just not in a mood for people putting their arms around me. Now, let me just get myself some breakfast...''

(Lincoln rushes out of his room. Not so long after, he slows down while on the stairs and sighs in relief now that he's away from Luna)

Lincoln: (in relief) Thank goodness I'm away from her now!

(Lincoln then heads to the kitchen. He opens the fridge and gets out some frozen pancakes. He places them in the microwave and starts it. After 30 seconds, the microwave beeps. He opens it and grabs the heated pancakes and places them on a plate. He then walks to the dining table to eat.)

Lisa: "And then he sits at the dining table. Then he picks up a knife and fork. Then he uses said knife and fork to cut off a piece of a pancake. Then he puts the piece in his mouth. Then he chews. Then he swallows. Then he..."

Lincoln: Lisa-

Lisa: Could this scene direction get any more tedious?!

(He grabs the maple syrup bottle that was on the table and places some syrup on the pancakes. He then grabs a fork and is about to take a bite, until he hears someone put something in the microwave and start it. He hops off of his chair and takes a peek, only to find that it's Luna heating up pancakes)

Lincoln: Are you kidding me?

(The microwave beeps. Luna grabs out the pancakes and put them on a plate. He rushes up to the basement...

Lincoln: Wait, wait, wait. I went up to the basement?

Leni: Did Luan turn the house upside down again?!

''...to eat to avoid Luna without Luna noticing, since he was tramuatized by what Luna was doing last night. Unbeknownst to him, some maple syrup that were on the pancakes dropped on the floor where Luna could see them)''

''Luna: Alright, roommate! Ready to gulp down some-''

(Luna notices that Lincoln is not eating on the dining table)

Lisa: Generally, people eat at the dining table, not on it.

Lola: Or under it, if you're Lana.

''Luna: Lincoln? Huh, I was expecting him to be at the dining table when I show up. Maybe he went to his room without me noticing...''

(Luna was about to head upstairs until she notices a tiny drop of maple syrup in front of her)

Luna: Huh?

(Luna picks the drop of syrup up with her finger and puts it in her mouth.)

All: Ewwwww!

Lola: What is it with Luna's eating habits in this story?!

(She then smacks her lips two times)

Luna: Maple syrup...

(Luna turns around to see more drops of maple syrup, leading to the basement)

Luna: Hm...

(The next scene then cuts to Lincoln eating his pancakes in peace)

''Lincoln: (swallows) Ah, Finally! I'm safe from Luna! Now I can eat my pancakes in peace.''

Lisa: Did Lincoln just mimic the narrator?

(Lincoln was about to take another bite until he hears Luna)

Luna: Dude!

Lincoln: LUNA!?

Luna: Why are you eating down here in the basement, dude?

''Lincoln: (lying) Uh... I felt like eating down here for some odd reason.''

''Luna: There are pests down here, dude! Rats, Spiders,Cockroaches...''

Leni: SPIDERS?! [runs back up to her room screaming]

Luna: [sighs] I'll go get her.

''[We cut to two minutes later. The Loud siblings are back in their original places on the couch. Luna has her arm around a trembling Leni.]''

Luna: There are no spiders here, Leni. It's just a story.

Leni: N-no... no spiders?

Luna: No spiders.

''Luna:...the list goes on! Do you want them to get on your pancakes and spread their nasty germs on them?''

Lincoln: Uh...

Luna: Come on, let's head upstairs.

(Luna exits the basement as Lincoln sighs and follows her. Luna sits at the dining table to eat her pancakes. Lincoln notices that. Still tramuatized by what she did last night, he decides to eat on the couch instead. Luna then notices)

Luna: You're gonna eat in the living room?

Lincoln: Yep!

Luna: Don't you wanna eat with your roommate, bro?

Lincoln: (nervously) Nah, I'm good!

Luna: (confused) Um, okay...?

(Luna then begins to eat her pancakes as Lincoln proceeds to continue eating)

Later...

(Time has passed and Lincoln has just finished his pancakes)

Lincoln: Ah, finally finished with my breakfast.

(Lincoln gets up and walks to the kitchen, carrying his empty plate. He then notices that Luna is no longer at the dining table)

''Lincoln: Yes! Now I can put my dish away in peace.''

(Lincoln walks up to the sinks and puts his plate in it. He then turns around and was about to walk upstairs until...)

Lincoln: (bumps into something) Ow!

(Lincoln falls onto to the floor. He looks up, only to see Luna with some speaker boxes and instruments. Luna notices Lincoln.)

''Luna: Hey, dude! Why are ya layin' on the floor?''

Lincoln: Because I bumped into you?

''Lincoln: (nervously) I... uh... um... (doesn't know what to say)''

''Luna: Come on, dude! Get up! We gotta get ready for some roommate fun!''

Lincoln: Roommate fun?

Luna: Yeah, remember when I said that we're gonna have fun after we slept last night?

Lincoln: Uh...

Luna: Come on, dude!

(Luna grabs Lincoln by the arm and drags him outside. Later, the scene then skips to Lincoln and Luna standing in the backyard with their instruments and the speakers next to them)

Luna: Ready for this, dude?

Lincoln: I have a name, you know. And it isn't "dude".

Luna: I don't always call you that, du-...I mean, Lincoln.

Lincoln: (nervously) I guess...

Luna: And a one, and a two, and the one, two, three, four!

(Luna starts playing her guitar. This time, Lincoln is not playing his drums at all. Without Luna noticing, he grabs the drumset, hops over the fence, runs back inside the house...

Luna: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. I'd notice if Lincoln wasn't laying down a funky beat. I'm not that oblivious.

...and was about to put it back in Luna and Luan's room until he sees the other sisters sans Luan and Luna of course covering their ears)

Luna: You guys don't hate my guitar playing that much, do you?

Leni: No, not at all! Like, I usually listen to pop, but your stuff is good too!

Lisa: Although I do wish you wouldn't always play it at tinnitus-inducing volumes.

Meanwhile...

(The next scene cuts to Luna still playing her guitar. Suddenly, we see acid splat on both of the speakers and melting them, causing them to be melted)

Lisa: Redundant much redundant?

Luna: Wait, what?

(Luna turns around, only to see that her speakers are melted.)

Lisa: "They were melted because the acid got on the speakers, which caused the speakers to be melted by the acid that got on the speakers, which made them-"

Leni, Luna, Lincoln and Lola: LISA!

Lisa: I'll stop.

Suddenly, she turns around again to see her sisters sans Luan all angry at her)

Lola: You know, it would've been better for us if you stop playing your stupid music!

Luna: Hey! My music is not stupid! How would you like it if I called your pageants stupid?

Lola: [gasps] You wouldn't dare!

''Luna: Aw, come on! Did you have to come here to ruin me and Lincoln's song we were performing together!?''

Lori: What do you mean Lincoln!?

''Luna: What do I mean? WHAT DO I MEAN!? (Points where Lincoln was) He's right there- Wait, what? H-h-he... He was right there!''

''Lynn: Wow... You must be really-''

Luna: I've said it once before, but it bears repeating now; I wouldn't just go on playing without noticing that there's no drum beat!

Lisa: Actually, I think there's a good chance that you would. Given the number of rock concerts you attend and the amount of time you spend playing your electric guitar, it's likely that you've incurred at least some level of hearing loss by now.

[Beat]

Luna: Did Lisa just say something?

(But before Lynn gets to finish her statement, Lincoln grabs all of his sisters sans Luna and Luan from behind and drags them inside the house and closes the door)

Lincoln: Sweet! In this story I have eight arms!

Lynn: What the-?

''Lincoln: Hey, uh, guys? Is it alright if I speak to you for a moment?''

Lana: Why?

Lincoln: Just for a moment-

(Suddenly, Luna enters from the backyard)

Luna: Guys, I'm telling- (sees Lincoln) Lincoln?

Lincoln: Uh...

Luna: Why did you leave the band right when one of our sisters threw acid in my speakers, dude?

Lincoln: Hold up. Where exactly did they get acid from?

Lisa: From me, assumedly.

Lincoln: Yeah, that'd make sense.

Lincoln: Wait, Luna!

Luna: What?

''Lincoln: Can you... give me a favor?''

Luna: Sure, roommate!

''Lincoln: Is it okay if you, um... check the mail?''

''Luna: Alright! I'll be checkin' it, dude!''

(Luna pats Lincoln on the head and exits the house to check the mail)

''Lincoln: Okay, everyone! Come upstairs in Lori and Leni's room!''

(Lincoln heads to Lori and Leni's room as his sisters sans Luna and Luan follow him. When they make it, Lincoln shuts the door and turns to everyone)

Lori: So what is this all about?

Lincoln: It has something to do with Luna...

Lynn: Is it the fact that she shakes her butt every time she washes Vanzilla?

Luna: That I what?!

Leni: Aw, you don't have to be ashamed, Luna. I do it too!

''Lincoln: No, Lynn! It's not that. It's something I kinda wanted to share to you... You know Luan is signed up for camp, right?''

''Lola: Well, yeah... She told us before she went to pack her stuff.''

Luna: Wait a minute! She told Lola but she didn't tell me?! What sense does that make?!

Lola: Oh, don't make a fuss. She's my sister too, you know.

Luna: I share a room with her!

''Lincoln: Well, while I went back inside, I heard Luna crying. I asked what's wrong and she said that she felt really lonely without Luan. She then asked me if she could sleep with me. I refused to let her do so at first, but then she promised me that she would "not" bother me while I sleep, so... I let her in, and we played some instruments...''

Lisa: Huh, I guess that explains that atrocious, ear-piercing music that could've ruptured our eardrums.

Luna: Oh, what do you know about music? I bet you couldn't even tell a major chord from a minor one.

''Lincoln: Yeah, and then later on, we went to sleep. And remember when I told you that she promises to not bother me?''

The Loud Sisters sans Luna and Luan: Mhm!

''Lincoln: Welp, it turnt out she ended up bothering me anyways... Having the volume all the way up where it's easy to hear and making a mess on the bed while eating pizza where I had to throw away the pizza boxes and then (glares at Lori) someone accuses me for delivering it since I was carrying them!''

Lori: What?

Lincoln: (glares at the rest of the sisters) And then three hours after midnight, this is when things get really scary...

Lucy: I like scary...

Lincoln: While I was hearing crying in my sleep, I woke up and then do you know what I saw?

Lucy: A ghost girl with black hair and a white dress staring at you with her eyes wide open?

''Lincoln: No, Lucy! It's not that.''

(Lucy frowns)

Lola: When is she not frowning?

Lincoln: It is something you wouldn't expect Luna to do.

Lisa: Playing her music at volumes below 100 decibels?

Luna: Hey!...Shut up!

Lynn: Well, what is it?

''Lincoln: Luna was staring at the wall next to my window. I noticed that there was a writing on it created with ink or black paint.''

Lincoln: You know, I didn't think of this before, but how and where did she find that ink? It's not like I just keep that stuff lying around.

Luna: And I found it in my sleep. How does that work?

''I then called out her name. She then turned to me with her eyes closed and do you know what she did next?''

Lana: What did she do?

Lincoln: She then grabbed by my shirt and raised up a belt!

(The sisters gasped)

Leni: A belt?

(Lily shakes and fear and was about to cry until she grabs out a pacifier and begins sucking it to stop herself from crying)

Lola: Can't say I blame her. If I heard Luna did that, I'd be reaching for a pacifier.

''Lincoln: And she was saying threats and stuff, and she was about to beat me... until she collapsed on the floor.''

(The Loud sisters in the room sans Lucy and Lisa had shocked faces. Lucy had a neutral face while Lisa had a more skeptical expression on her face)

Leni: Did she seriously, like, do that!?

Lincoln: She totally did.

Lola: I know I'm not an angel...

Lola: Oh, don't be silly! I am an angel! [smiles and bats her eyes] Aren't I, Linky?

Lincoln: Well, uh-

Lola: AREN'T I?!

Lincoln: Y-y-y-yes, Lola. Yes, you are.

[Mollified, Lola grins and snuggles up to a nervous-looking Lincoln.]

Lola: ...but I would never try to beat anyone with a belt, not even in my sleep.

Lana: Actually, there is a chance that you might-

Lola: Shut up, Lana!

Lola: [scoffs] As if a lady like me would engage in such brutishness.

Luna: Yesterday I saw you powerbomb Lana for tracking mud in your room.

Lola: I had just finished washing the carpet!

''Lisa: Now hold on! We can't just believe in our male sibling just because he said it. He needs to reveal to us some evidence.''

''Lincoln: You want evidence? Then follow me to my room and I'll show you evidence.''

(Lincoln leaves Lori and Leni's room and leads them to his room. He then shows them the writing that Luna wrote last night)

Leni: Wow, Luna must be a really good artist.

Lincoln: Writing is not art, Leni!

Lisa: I'm sure there are several poets, authors and playwrights who would disagree with you.

Lisa: (skeptical) I still doubt that Luna would do such a thing.

Lincoln: Well, what about the belt Luna used last night?

Lisa: What belt-

(Suddenly, Lily finds a belt on the floor and kicks it to Lisa)

Lily: Poo-poo?

(Lisa then looks down at the belt and picks it up)

Lincoln: That's the belt Luna used last night.

[Luna looks down at her lap.]

Luna: Wait a second... I wear a belt.

Lola: So?

Luna: Well, if the belt I almost used on Lincoln is my belt, then what's it still doing in his room? It's part of my outfit; I wouldn't just leave it behind. And if it isn't my belt, then whose is it? Lincoln doesn't wear a belt, so why would he just have one lying around his room?

Lincoln: [rubs chin] Huh... I hadn't considered that.

''Lisa: Hm... I might need to DNA profiling on this belt to see if this is true or just some fib you're trying to get us to believe in.''

Lincoln: Okay, that sounds pretty iffy. You can't just get someone's DNA profile from an object they happened to touch, can you?

Lisa: As a matter of fact, you can! When you touch an object, you leave behind dead skin cells, which can be identified as yours via DNA testing. If Luna was holding onto the belt long enough to leave a visible trace, we could likely prove that the belt was hers - or at least that it was in her hand last night.

Lincoln: Huh. Learn something new every day.

Lincoln: It's not a fib-

''Lisa: I know, rodent! I'm just saying!''

Lincoln: First of all, why would I lie about something like that? Second of all, "rodent"?

Lola: Yeah, and didn't Luna call you a "mouse" when she was having a meltdown? What's with that?

(Lisa enters her room)

''Lisa: Goodness Gracious! 11-year old male siblings these days!''

(Lisa exits her room to start her DNA profiling)

Later...

(Time has passed and the kids sans Luna and Luan are waiting on Lisa. Then, Lisa opens the door of her and Lily's room with the belt)

Lincoln: Well?

Lisa: Lincoln, my 11-year old Mus musculus sibling, it turns out that you were correct about the fact that Luna endeavoured to abuse you last night.

Lincoln: "Musculus", huh? [flexes his bicep]

Leni: Ooh, nice muscle, Linky! Wanna see mine? [flexes her own bicep, which is quite a bit bigger than his]

Lincoln: [sighs] Well, there goes the last remaining shred of my masculine pride...

Lincoln: Well, that's good.

''Lisa: By the way, now that she tried to you-know-what last night, there could be a chance of her doing that again. So, the only way to stop her from trying to do that is to get Luan back, which will make Luna head straight back to her room and live happily ever after.''

Lisa: No. Not happily ever after. The Luna we see in this story has some serious emotional attachment issues that need to be addressed. Forcing Luan to come back wouldn't be fair to either of them; we'd be leaving a broken girl's problems untreated, and we'd be restricting the freedom and autonomy of her younger sister.

Lori: But how can we do that?

Lisa: You know where our parents put our progress reports and report cards and all of those school papers after we receive them from our school?

Lincoln: Yeah, our room.

Lisa: Well, the acceptance letter for Luan's camp could be in their as well.

Lisa: In their what?

Lincoln: Also, summer camps aren't something you need to apply to, are they? You just sign up and go.

Leni: Uh, don't you mean permission slip?

Lisa: They probably gave it to whoever hosts the camp, but there is a chance that they kept the acceptance letter from that guy.

(Lisa heads downstairs to head to Rita and Lynn Sr.'s room. Everyone else follows her. Suddenly, when they were about to head in there, Luna suddenly arrives with scars and bruises and a raccoon biting in her)

''Luna: Agh! Stupid raccoons!''

(Luna suddenly grabs the raccoon and throws it outside and slams the door. Luna then turns to the others)

''Luna: Sorry if it took me this long, Lincoln! Some stupid lunatic put a duo of raccoons inside a box.''

Lincoln: Let me guess... Luan.

Lola: That does sound like something she would do.

''Lincoln: (nervously) Oh, uh... Luna, I need you to give me another favor.''

Luna: What is it?

''Lincoln: There is a baseball in Lynn and Lucy's room that I need to use for a birthday gift for my friend, Zach. Can you get that for me?''

Luna: Sure thing, dude!

(Luna heads upstairs to get the basketball)

Lincoln: Wait, was it a baseball or a basketball?

Lincoln: (in relief) Phew!

''Lynn: Really, man? That's your best excuse?''

Lincoln: Well, I had to say something to get her away.

Lynn: BY MAKING HER TAKE MY BALL!?

Lincoln: THAT'S THE BEST THING I CAN-

''Lisa: You guys can argue later! Right now, we need to get that acceptance letter for Luan's camp.''

Lisa: No, we need to hire a psychiatrist.

(Lincoln and Lynn sigh as everyone enters Rita and Lynn Sr.'s room. They look around for the acceptance letter)

Lori: Where could that letter be?

(They continue looking for the letter. Suddenly, Lily finds something under the blanket of the bed)

Lily: (points at it) Poo-poo?

(Everyone then looks at Lily. They then look where she is pointing)

Lincoln: Is that it?

(Lisa takes off the blanket out of the bed, only for everyone to see papers stacking on each other)

Lisa: Welp, looks like our youngest sibling has found a bunch of papers, which means that one of them has to be the acceptance letter.

Lisa: I don't see how the latter statement logically follows from the former.

Leni: Yeah... what she said.

(Lisa grabs all of the papers and look at each one to see if it's the letter. However, most of them appear to be paid taxes, report cards, etc. She throws away anything that is not the letter)

''Lisa: (throwing papers away) Paid taxes... report cards... progress reports... Lola's idiotic drawing...''

Lola: Hey!

Lola: Hey!

Leni: [looks around] Is there an echo in here?

(Lisa continues throwing away all of the papers that are not the letter. Lisa then comes across two papers)

Lisa: Well guys, I guess the last one should be the letter.

(Lisa then grabs another paid tax and throws it away. However, after she throws it away, the last paper only reveals to be nothing but some story written in pencil)

Lisa: WHAT!?

Lincoln: What is it, Lisa?

''Lisa: This is nothing but some story written in pencil! Look!''

(Lisa then shows everyone the story)

Lincoln: What the heck is that?

''Leni: (recognizes the paper) Oh... That was a story I just made up about two guys named Macaroni and Cheese.''

[All of them peer at the screen with intrigue.]

Lisa: I must admit, my curiosity is piqued.

Lola: Yeah, I kinda want to read that story now.

Leni: And I kinda want to write it.

(Everyone stares at Leni with annoyed faces)

''Lincoln: Really, Leni? Just really?''

(Everyone then turns back to Lisa)

Lynn: So does this mean that there is no acceptance letter!?

(The scene then cuts to Lily. She looks at the papers Lisa threw on the floor. Suddenly, she sees a paper that appears to say "Congratulations! Your child...")

''Lisa: (off-screen) I'm afraid not... They must've got rid of it away before Luan headed to camp...''

(Lily walks up to the paper and grabs it. The scene then cuts back to the rest of the sisters)

Lincoln: I guess we're never gonna get Luan back before the time she's supposed to come home.

Lily: Poo-poo!

(Lily then throws the paper on the bed. Everyone notices)

''Lisa: Huh? What's this?''

(Lisa grabs it and takes a look at it, only to find out it was the acceptance letter they were looking for)

''Lisa: Agh! Dang it!''

Lincoln: What?

Lisa: I must've thrown it away while looking for it, but thanks to my little specimen, we can now find the location of the camp Luan is participating.

(Lisa then begins to read it)

''Lisa: Congratulations! Your child is accepted to join The Royal Woods Junior Camp.''

(Lisa then puts away the acceptance letter)

Lisa: Alright, it's time to bring Luan back!

Leni: Aren't you gonna read the whole thing?

''Lisa: Nah! All we need to find out is the location of the camp.''

Lincoln: ...which would probably be listed on the letter, wouldn't it? In fact, isn't that why we were looking for the acceptance letter in the first place?

(The Loud children sans Luna and Luan exit Rita and Lynn Sr.'s room and head outside. Once again, Luna arrives, but this time with Lynn's basketball)

''Luna: Alright, dude! I- Hey, where are you going?''

''Lincoln: (lying) Oh, uh... We're just, heading to the park.''

Luna: I'm coming too, right?

Lincoln: No, not really...

Luna: Why not?

''Lincoln: (lying) Because I heard that... They don't allow rock stars in the park... due to their loud music that could, you know, burst people's eardrums. Sorry. Luna!''

(Lincoln leaves and catches up to his other sisters. Luna makes a big frown, staring at him)

Luna: So not only am I totally bonkers in this story, but I'm also totally gullible. Great.

Outside...

''Lynn: So... Now what?''

Lisa: We hop inside Vanzilla and head to the Royal Woods Junior Camp with a GPS.

(The Loud kids sans Luna and Luan hop inside Vanzilla. Lori turns on her GPS)

''Lola: How are we gonna get Luan back from the camp? If we just get in their and try to take her, they'll end up kicking us out.''

Lisa: Get in their what?

''Lisa: No worries, princess! Because I have the perfect plan that'll get Luan back.''

Lisa: Do I ever call you "princess"?

Lola: You don't.

[Beat]

Lola: You should.

Lisa: I won't.

Lola: Okay.

Lincoln: Well, what is it?

''Lisa: It's... a special plan. And it's probably gonna take the most dimwitted of all of us to work...''

(Lisa turns to Leni and smiles mischievously at her. Leni notices Lisa looking directly at her)

Leni: What?

[Leni scowls and rolls her eyes.]

CHAPTER 3

(The next scene then cuts to the Loud kids sans Luna and Luan at a forest near the camp.)

Lisa: Oh, thank you, narrator. I almost forgot that Luna and Luan weren't with us. Seriously, was this written for goldfish?

Leni: Goldfish? Why are you talking about goldfish?

Luna: 'Cause they have really short memories, Leni.

Leni: No, they don't. That's just a myth. In fact, their memories are pretty good. For fish, at least.

[Everyone stares at Leni.]

Leni: What?! There's more to my head than just air, you know!

It shows Lisa putting Leni in a certain position)

Lincoln: Lisa, are you sure it's gonna work?

Lisa: I'm really positive, male sibling!

(Lisa then gives Leni a big rock)

Lisa: Alright, now let's hide in the bushes!

(Lisa and the other sisters with her sans Leni hide in the bushes. Leni then forgets what to do with the big rock)

Leni: What am I supposed to do it again?

Lisa: (whispering loudly) Throw it, dumb blonde!

Leni: I don't know, what if I-

Lisa: (whispering loudly) JUST DO IT!

(Leni sighs and throws the rock, only for it to hit a bear off-screen.)

[The five siblings' jaws drop simultaneously.]

Luna: Her plan involves provoking a bear?!

Lincoln: Is everyone in this story insane?!

''The bear can be heard growling in pain off-screen. Suddenly, we see the bear walk out of bushes, staring aggressively at Leni. Leni then shakes and sweats in fear)''

''Leni: Uh... Hi, M-m-mister... bear? How is your d-d-d-day?''

(The bear then roars and starts to charge towards Leni, but before the bear could ram her over, Lisa grabs Leni by the leg and drags her into the bush the rest of the LKs sans Luna and Luan are hiding. The bear then ends up crashing through the gates. A lot of campers notice that and scream and run away)

Lisa: Bravo, other me. You've endangered the lives of countless campers for the sake of some convoluted plan to bring Luan home and deprive her of what would have been a rich, character-building experience, just so you can continue to coddle her cripplingly clingy roommate. [slow clap]

Meanwhile...

(The next scene then cuts to the lake with Luan and two other campers, one boy and one girl)

''Luan: So what did the supernova say to the black hole? You suck!''

(Luan and the two campers laugh at Luan's joke)

''Camper #1: Ha! Good one!''

Camper #2: Tell us another one!

Lincoln: Luan found two kids who actually like her jokes? Color me impressed.

''Luan: Alright! What's-''

(Suddenly, Luan and the two other campers hear roaring and screaming from the distance)

''Campers: (from the distance) AAAHH!!! BEAR!''

Camper #1: Bear?

(They then see the campers running away from the furious bear as it chases them)

Camper #2: BEAR!

(The two campers off. Luan was about to run as well until the campers run over her, and so does the bear)

Luan: Ow...

(Suddenly, Luan hears roaring from behind. She quickly turns around and sees the bewr charging towards her. She screams and quickly dodges by rolling to the left, making the bear miss her. It then continues chasing the other campers. Luan then quickly gets up and runs off)

Lisa: And apparently none of us considered that the bear could try to attack Luan. Of all the ways we could have tried to bring Luan back, we chose the one most likely to end in catastrophic, tragic failure.

Luan: I gotta tell the counselor about this!

Meanwhile...

(The next scene then cuts to the counselor watching a horror movie about a woman burnt from the waist up. Suddenly, Luan opens the door and rushes inside)

Luan: Counselor!

Counselor: Huh?

(The counselor quickly turns off the movie and turns to Luan)

Counselor: Yes, Luan?

Luan: Our camp is in trouble!

Counselor: Uh, what do you mean?

''Luan: Well, I wouldn't bear to say it! (Laughs) Get it? But seriously, there is a bear attacking our camp!''

Counselor: A BEAR!?

Luan: Yeah, there is a-

(Suddenly, a loud explosion is heard)

Counselor: WHAT WAS THAT!?

(Luan and the Counselor run out of the hut the counselor was in and they saw silhouettes of the campers and the bear by the fire as the bear still chases them)

Luna: Wait, where did that explosion come from?

Lisa: Apparently the bear we chose to provoke is also trained in the use of explosives.

Lincoln: Okay... I have to give the writer credit, because that's actually pretty cool.

''Counselor: Oh, for the love of cod! I gotta call 911 immediately!''

Lincoln: "For the love of cod"?

Leni: See? I told you there'd be fish at the camp!

(The counselor runs off to call 911. Suddenly, Lincoln runs up to Luan and grabs her by the arm and runs off with her)

''Luan: What the-!? Lincoln!?''

''Lincoln: Don't ask! Now come on!''

Luan: Come where!?

(Lincoln runs up to Vanzilla with Luan. He gets inside and puts Luan next to her as Luan just stares at her confused)

''Lisa: Welp, mission accomplished! Now that Luan's back, she won't have to sleep with you anymore!''

Lincoln: No, she'll just have to sleep in the same room as Luna every night for the rest of her life. If this is the way Luna acts when she has to spend one night apart from Luan, we can pretty much forget about sending either of them to college. Or letting either of them move out.

Lisa: Can you say "esoteric happy ending"?

Leni: Um... es...esota...es-oh-teh-

Lisa: [pinches nose] That was not a challenge...

(Everyone sans Luan cheers)

Luan: (confused) Mission!?

(The next scene cuts to a silhouette of Vanzilla driving away. Meanwhile, we see Luna on her couch. Sad that she can't go to the so-called park with Lincoln, she depressingly plays her guitar and hums softly. Later, the Loud kids arrive)

Lincoln: Hey, Luna!

''Luna: (depressed) Hi, man... So... How was the park?''

Lincoln: "Well, we probably got several people mauled to death and almost got mauled ourselves, but other than that, great!"

Lincoln: Oh, we had fun and all.

''Luna: Great... Sucks that I couldn't go though, all because it doesn't allow rock stars for being "too loud".''

Lincoln: Yeah, but I have good news to tell you.

Luna: What?

Lincoln: Remember how you miss Luan being your roommate?

Luna: Yeah, why?

Lincoln: Well, she's back early from camp!

Luna: (suddenly turns excited) Really!?

''Lincoln: Yep! Here she is!''

(Lincoln scoots to the left, revealing Luan, who doesn't know what the heck is even going on)

Luan: Uh...

Luna: LUAN!

(Luna runs up to her and gives her a big hug)

''Luna: Mmm... So proud of you that you're back... Now you can be my roommate again!''

(Luan just stares at Luna, confused)

Luan: What?

(The next scene...

Lincoln: Wait, wait, wait. I want to know what happened after that line.

Luna: "Yeah, I kind of had a psychotic breakdown on the first night you were gone. Hope you're okay with never leaving me ever again!"

...then cuts to Lincoln tucking himself to bed)

''Lincoln: (to the viewers) Ah, it's just great guys. We finally got Luan back from camp and made Luna happy again, that way she won't have to sleep with me anymore...''

(Suddenly, a knock on the door is heard)

Lincoln: Come in!

(The door opens, revealing to be Luna)

Luna: Hey, dude!

''Lincoln: Luna? Aren't you sleeping with Luan?''

Luna: Oh, I am, I just came here to say thank you for letting me be your roommate, no one else probably wouldn't let me in their room besides Luan to sleep with, probably for being "too loud", you know...

Lisa: Or maybe because your psyche was shattered by the prospect of spending a night apart from her.

Lincoln: Alright, that's nice, but-

Luna: Hold on, before I leave, I just wanna sing you a little song...

Lincoln: A what?

Luna: Yeah, while you were at the park, I was writing a song just for you for letting me be your roommate.

(Luna grabs out a ukulele. She then clears her throat, inhales through her nose, and starts playing)

''Luna: (singing) Oh, Lincoln! My little bro! You are the only one... Who would never say no! Together... We had lots of fun! We'd keep on playing... Until we're done! Oh, Lincoln... You're the best bro, ever! I wish... I could stay here forever!''

Lisa: Words cannot describe how unsettling that last line is, in this context.

''Luna: And now that my old roommate's back... It is time that I say goodbye! But don't be sad, bro... Please don't cry!''

Luna: (stops singing and begins talking) Because I would be with you forever in your heart.

(Luna then kisses Lincoln on the forehead. She then leaves the room and closes the door behind her. Lincoln blushes and appears to have a happy expression at first, but then Lincoln had to ruin the heartwarming moment by making a disgusted expression)

Lincoln: (disgusted) Okay, that was just gross!

Lincoln: "Ew, kisses are gross! I heard girls have cooties!" Seriously, author, I'm eleven, not six. No offense, Lola.

Lola: None taken.

THE END

EPILOGUE

(The next scene then cuts to the Royal Woods Junior Camp, all burnt up. We then see the counselor sitting on the bench that remained, sad)

''Counselor: This is just great! I had to lose my job all because of some stupid bear!''

Lincoln: Well, at least we know none of the campers died. If they did, he'd probably be a lot more devastated.

(Unbeknownst to the counselor, the bear is sneaking up behind him)

Counselor: And now this happened, where am I gonna work now!?

(The bear then breathes on the counselor. He slowly looks up, only to see the bear with a HUGE grin)

Counselor: Uh-Oh...

Lola: ...and then what happened?

Lincoln: Was that last moment supposed to answer his question? What'd the bear do, give him a job interview?

Lisa: Maybe he did. The bear is intelligent enough to use explosives, so who knows?

[Beat]

Luna: But just so you guys know, I'm not like that. I don't mind sleeping without Luan.

Lincoln: We know.

Leni: Totally.

[Beat]

Lincoln: Well, that was fun. Who's for Chinese?

THE END