User blog:Thomperfan/Study Muffin (my version) ROUGH DRAFT

Okay, so I was going through my google docs a few minutes ago, and stumbled across the version of Study Muffin I was planning to release, but never did. And then I saw the part, near the end, that I made up, with some help from BigFonOfEntertainment, and I thought, "Man, this is so out there, I have to share with everyone", so here it is. Before anyone asks, no, I'm not completing the story, so don't bother me about it.

Me: (to the viewers) Surprise! What? You didn’t think that was the end of the episode, did you? No, there still more we need to cover, so let me catch you up, after the whole Hugh DiMartino incident, you’d think the girls would’ve been over Hugh by now, but no, the girls still kept their Hugh stuff and continued to obsess over Hugh, even Leni and Lori. Now, at first it started out innocent enough, but then it got weird, and I mean, FREAKY. You see… Well… I’ll just let the episode tell you.

(I pull a screen of me coming up to the Loud House. I knock on the door.)

Me: Boy, I sure hope the girls have gotten at least a little bit over Hugh by now.

(I come inside to see Lori, wearing a Hugh sweater and looking dreamily at a picture on her phone. I go up to her)

Me: (trying to get her attention) Lori? Lori! (Snapping my fingers) LORI!

(Lori finally looks up)

Lori: Oh, hey Nolan, I didn’t see you there.

Me: Uh, Lori, what are you doing?

Lori: Oh, I was just looking at some pictures of Hugh, that angelic specimen of a man. (Makes another goose noise)

Me: Um, okay? And what did you do to your phone?

(It reveals Lori’s phone case has a picture of Hugh on it)

Lori: Lisa made a customized phone case for all of us to use.

Me: Oh, hey, wait a minute. Lori, weren’t you supposed to be going on a date with Bobby today?

Lori: Bobby? Bobby who?

Me: Uh, Bobby your boyfriend?

Lori: I’m sorry, I have no idea who you’re talking about.

(Just then, Lori’s phone starts ringing, it reveals to be Bobby calling her)

Lori: Ugh, I wish this person would stop calling me. (Declines the call) It’s literally making it harder for me to admire Hugh.

Me: (weirded out) Uuuuuuuuh, Lori, I gotta go. See ya.

(I go upstairs)

Me: Wow, that was… odd. I wonder if the other girls are going through the same thing? I should go see.

(I go to Lori and Leni’s room and open the door)

Me: Leni?

(It reveals Leni is sewing a dress with a picture of Hugh on it. She’s also wearing a Hugh sweater.)

Leni: Oh, hey Noey. Come on in. I was just working on this totes cute Hugh dress.

Me: (sighs) Of course you were. (I take a look around and notice that Leni made a bunch of other Hugh clothing; to Leni) Leni, did you make all of this Hugh stuff yourself?

Leni: Yep. Maybe I’ll get to show Hugh all of my stuff and he’ll realize we’re meant to be.

(I have a look of annoyance and irritation on my face.)

Me: (annoyed) Okay Leni, I have to go.

(I start to leave)

Leni: Noey, wait! Are you sure you don’t want a Hugh sweater?

Me: NO! (Trying to sound nice) I mean, no thank you, Leni. I’m good. Bye!

(I walk out and go into Luna and Luan’s room. Luna is strumming her guitar and has a Hugh sweater on.)

Me: Luna, what’s up?

Luna: Hey, little bro! Wanna hear this 7 word rock opera I wrote about Hugh?

Me: You wrote a song about Hugh?

Luna: Yep. Hundreds to be exact.

Me: (gawking) Hundreds?

Luna: Yeah, I call this one “Ode to Hugh” (inhales and gets ready to sing)

Me: (stopping her) Uh, that’s okay, Luna. I’m fine. Look, I gotta go see what Luan is up to.

(I go out into the hallway to see Luan wearing a Hugh sweater, and has a puppet that looks like Mr. Coconuts, but has the color scheme of Hugh.)

Me: Uh, hey Luan. Have you noticed that your sisters are-

Luan: Oh, hey Nolan! Do Hugh wanna hear some jokes I made about Hugh.

Me: (groans) You know Luan, normally, I’d say yes, but right now, I’m not in the mood.

Luan: Oh come on, are you sure you don’t wanna Hugh this?

Me: Yes, I’m sure. (I notice the puppet and gasp) Oh My God! What happened to Mr. Coconuts?!

Luan: Oh, who’s Mr. Coconuts? That’s “Little Hugh”. He’s my new puppet, isn’t that right you hunk?

(She kisses the puppet and I wince in disgust)

Me: (creeped-out) OK, I gotta go Luan. So, have fun with, whatever it is, you’re doing.

(I run down the stairs and to the backyard.)

Me: Lynn? Lynn, are you her-

(I gasp. Lynn is playing soccer, but she’s doing it with 11 cardboard statues of Hugh. One is at the soccer goal, and the others are just watching from the sidelines. I make my way past the cardboard Hughs.)

Me: Lynn!

(Lynn stops and notices me)

Lynn: Oh, hey Nolan.

Me: Lynn, what are you doing? What are all these things?

Lynn: Oh, I was just playing a game of soccer, with my boyfriend.

Me: You’ve got a boyfriend?

Lynn: Yep. He’s the goalie right there.

(Points to the cardboard Hugh by the goal.)

Me: (sighs) Of course. (points to all the other cardboard Hughs) And who are those?

Lynn: Those are just my fans. Now shhh! I’m trying to make this goal!

(Lynn kicks the ball and it goes past the cardboard Hugh and it goes through.)

Lynn: YAY! WOO! I WIN! AND THE CROWD GOES WILD!

(She imitates the crowd cheering and I look on in annoyance.)

Me: OK, Lynn, I’m just gonna go now.

(I leave, but Lynn doesn’t notice this and continues celebrating. I go to Lynn and Lucy’s room, open the door and see that Lucy is on her bed having a Hugh sweater, sitting on her bed, with Edwin, who has a picture of Hugh taped on to him.)

Me: Lucy?

Lucy: Oh, hi Nolan.

Me: Lucy, what’s up?

Lucy: I just finished writing another poem about Hugh.

Me: Another poem? How many did you write.

Lucy: 70, 90, maybe 100.

Me: Oh, wow.

Lucy: I don’t usually say this, but he’s the only person to make me feel truly alive.

Me: Of course he is.

Lucy: I can't resist his piercing gaze, his sparkly skin, his icy lips..." [kisses the bust and gets its wax lips over hers]

Me: (weirded out) OK, Luce. I gotta go see something else.

(I leave the room, and then hear something.)

Lana: (off-screen) HE’S MINE!!

Lola: (off-screen) NO, HE’S MINE!!

Me: (Sighs) Finally something normal.

(I go to the twin’s room to find that the twins are fighting over a pillow with a picture of Hugh, and they also have Hugh sweaters on. I pry the two of them apart.)

Me: OK, girls, what seems to be the problem?

Lola: Lana’s not letting me have Hugh! I want him to have a tea party with me!

Lana: And I want Hugh to play in the mud with me!!

Lola: Well, he likes me more than you, so I should get him!

Lana: No he doesn’t!! He thinks your a brat!

Lola: YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT!!

(Lola attacks Lana and they start fighting again. I groan and pull them part.)

Me: Girls! It’s just a pillow you’re fighting over! It’s nothing special!

Lana: It’s not just a pillow! It’s my boyfriend!

Lola: No, he’s MY boyfriend!!

Lana: My boyfriend!!

Lola: My boyfriend!!

Lana: MY BOYFRIEND!!

Lola: MY BOYFRIEND!!

(the twins start violently attacking each other again. I, realizing the twins aren’t going to listen, put the Hugh pillow on the floor and go outside again, but just then Lisa comes up to me, also wearing a Hugh sweater.)

Lisa: Greetings, elder friend. I would like to show you something I have been working on.

Me: Uh, yeah, I don’t think I’m gonna like it.

Lisa: Oh pish posh. Come see for yourself.

(She drags me over to her and Lily’s room, and then brings out a life-like sculpture of, you guessed it, Hugh.)

Me: (gawking) Lisa, you made that?!

Lisa: Precisely. I used (She shows me a bunch of pictures she took of Hugh.) these as references. I’ve made every feature, (points to the face.) The face, (Points to the arms) The biceps, (points to a carved in 6-pack) the 6 pack. And now, I should just get the gluteus maximus-

Me: (trying to stop her) UH, NO NO NO! No, that’s fine Lisa. I-I’ve seen enough. I… gotta go see Lincoln. (I rush out)

Lisa: Your loss! (To herself) Now where were we? (Gives a devious smile)

Me: (to the sisters) Ok, this settles it! Lincoln’s sisters have all gone crazy! I’ve gotta find Lincoln. He’ll know what to do.

(I finally get to Lincoln’s room and knock on the door.)

Lincoln: (off-screen) Come in!

(I open the door, to find Lincoln on his bed reading a comic book, and Lily who’s sitting there playing with her blankie.)

Me: Lincoln! There’s something-(notices Lily) Oh, hi Lily. (goes back to what I was saying) Lincoln, there’s something seriously wrong! Your sisters have gone crazy!

Lincoln: Oh, you think I didn’t know that already? It’s been going on ever since Hugh left! They’ve been constantly bugging me to get my grades down so I can call Hugh to come over again, and they’ve even tried finding where he lives.

Me: (upset) Hmph! What do they see in that guy? He’s not the greatest guy on the planet or something. (I’m not showing it or saying it, but I’m jealous that the girls are totally bonkers for Hugh, and secretly wish they would fawn over me that way) We’ve gotta come up with a plan to make them stop.

Lincoln: Oh, believe me, I’ve been trying. It took me a little while, but I’ve finally come up with something.

Me: Really, what is it?

Lincoln: We get a girl to pretend to be with Hugh, and we show to the sisters and that way they’ll back off.

Me: Genius! Let’s go to the community college and tell Hugh the plan.

Lincoln: Yeah! Oh, also, I promised Mom I would look after Lily today, so we’ve gotta take her with us.

Me: Oh, no problem. I’ll get the carrier.

(Cuts to us going over to Royal Woods community college. We come to the front desk where the secretary is.)

Lincoln: Excuse us. Me, my sister, and my friend here are looking for someone named Hugh. Do you know where his room is?

Secretary: West wing, Room 816.

Me: Thanks. (I put 50 cents on the table) Keep the change.

(The three of us walk over to room 816 and knock on the door. Hugh opens it and notices it.)

Hugh: Lincoln and Nolan, salutations! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

Lincoln: It has. We’re glad to see you again.

Hugh: (notices Lily) And who is this young lady?

Me: Oh, this is Lily. She another one of Lincoln’s sisters, but don’t worry, she won’t go gaga over you, like his other 9 sisters did, because she’s just a baby. And plus, she’s adorable. (To Lily) Isn’t that right? Isn’t that right? Who’s a cutie-wootie (baby talk)

Lily: (giggles)

Lincoln: Anyway, let’s get down to business. You remember my other sisters, right?

Hugh: (sigh) How could I forget? They were unusually affectionate.

Lincoln: Yeah, well we have a plan that’ll make them stop obsessing over you.

Hugh: Really? Brilliant!

Me: Yeah, but first of all, do you know any girls around your age that we could talk to?

Hugh: Hm. I think I may know someone, she’s actually a real close friend of mine.

Me: Really? Who is it?

Hugh: Her name is Michaela. We’ve known each other for 3 years. She knows lots of things. (blushing) And she’s, rather pretty.

Me: (slyly) Oh, is she now?

Hugh: Oh, well-

Lincoln: OK, Nolan, that’s enough. (to Hugh) Could you take us to see her?

Hugh: Sure thing.

(The 4 of us walk over to room 820 and Hugh knocks on the door. A young african-american woman opens it. Her clothes are a light blue blouse, a tan skirt, grey socks and brown slip-on shoes.)

Hugh: Michaela! Good to see you again!

Michaela: Hugh! Lovely to see you as well. (Notices me, Lincoln and Lily) Oh, and you’ve brought some children with you. How pleasant. (To us) Hello dears, what are your names.

Lincoln: Please to meet you, Michaela. I’m Lincoln, and this my friend, Nolan and my sister, Lily.

Me: Hey.

Lily: Goo-Goo!

Michaela: So, what brings you four here?

Hugh: Well, my friends here want to talk to you about something. Can we come in?

Michaela: Oh, of course!

(The 4 of us come in. Michaela gives us all some cookies and some tea, and we sit down and talk.)

Lincoln: (to Michaela) OK, this is only going to make sense if we get you up to speed. A few weeks ago, I was doing bad in school, so I asked Hugh here to be my tutor. Everything was going good, until my 9 other sisters came in and started falling head over heels for him, making it impossible for us to study.

Me: And it wasn’t just his sisters either, it was also 3 of his pets and even his dad.

Michaela: My word. (to Hugh) That must’ve been really uncomfortable.

Hugh: It was.

Me: They tried flirting with him, they tried using him for stuff, they made clothing related to him. They even tried to see his butt!

Michaela: Goodness!

Lincoln: And what’s even worse is one of my sisters is hitting on him, when she’s already in a relationship. And one of my sisters, Nolan here wishes he was in a relationship with. (nudges me) Right, Nolan?

Me: (nervously) Uh, yes! I mean, no! I mean, maybe. (smiles nervously)

Michaela: This sounds terrible.