The following is a transcript for the episode "A Grave Mistake".
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The episode starts at a peaceful night at the Royal Woods Cemetery. Lucy and Fangs are running.] Lucy:[Panting] "Hurry, Fangs. We're gonna be late." Bertrand:[Smacks a skull gavel] "Good evening fellow members of the Morticians Club, I've called this meeting because I have, terrible news." [The Morticians Club reflect on this, just as Lucy takes her seat.] "Oh, no, no, no, no, in this case the terrible news is nothing to be excited about; My father accepted a job as a lifeguard on the S.S. Fun Times Party Cruise." [Boris plays something on his keyboard.] "And since I can not legally separate from them," [Boris plays again] "I must move with my suntanned family." [Boris plays again, and the club reflects on this tragic event.] "Thank you dear friends, but please, dwell not on my misfortune, instead let us focus on more important matters." [Brief moment of silence, and Bertrand clear his throat, trying to get Boris' attention. Boris sees this and plays his piano again.] "Try and keep up Boris. More important matters like... Who will replace me as president?" Everyone: "Gasp." [Fangs makes a gesture to Lucy.]
YOU GOT THIS [Lucy gives an "Oh stop" motion to Fangs.]
PSH SHAW Bertrand: "I have however already chosen my successor," [Lucy and Fangs get excited.] "I really think she's earned it," [Lucy and Fangs get more excited.] "so please welcome our new president..." [Lucy gets up] "Haiku." [Haiku squeals in excitement and goes up to the podium, and Bertrand offers her the gavel.] "Haiku, do you accept?" Haiku: "So unexpected, but an honor to bang the, skeleton gavel. That was a haiku I just wrote." [Bangs the gavel, and there's a moment of silent and Bertrand realizes something.] Bertrand: "Boris." [Boris plays his keyboard, and Lucy's heart breaks.]
[Back at the Loud house, Lucy is venting to Lincoln.] Lucy: "It's not right that Bertrand picked Haiku to be president over me, she just turned goth last year." Lincoln: "Yeah, and you've been planning funerals since you we're two, it is unfair." Lucy: "Exactly, thank you." Lincoln: "I think you should stick up for yourself, tomorrow morning tell Bertrand that you're interested in the job too, he might listen." Lucy: "Alright, I'll do it."
[The next day, the Mortician's club is in the schoolyard, Bertrand drawing a chalk line around Boris on the ground, the rest of the club applauds, and Lucy comes up to them.] Lucy: "Gloomy morning everyone, I have an announcement... I've thought it over and, I too, would like to be considered for president." [The other club members are surprised by this.] "I think I'd do a great job, after all; who stays late to make sure the dissecting forceps are put away? And who thought of our group motto; Keep Calm, and Embalm? And who carried our team in the grave digging competition?" [The club members agree that Lucy's the one who did all that.] Haiku: "You did." Dante: "You dug an eight footer." Bertrand: "Yes, Lucy. You've made a good case for yourself. How about this? After school, the club will meet, and we shall put it to a vote." [Haiku gasps, and Lucy is satisfied. The camera moves to a speaker outside the school.] Clyde:[Announcing through speaker.] "Good morning Royal Woods Elementary, Clyde McBride here with my sidekick, your school mascot." [Clyde is in the office with an aged rooster.] "Give it up for Ricky the Rooster! Ricky, how about giving the students a good morning cock-a-doodle-doo?" [Ricky pecks Clyde's nose.] "Ow!" [Scene returns to the Mortician's Club outside.] "Ricky, wait. Remember your condition! Nooo!" [The Mortician's Club enters the school as Ricky proceeds to attack Clyde.]
[Later, Lucy opens her locker, and Fangs goes to his lounge.] Lucy: "All I need is four votes and I can win this thing, I better do some campaigning. Have a nice sleep, Fangs." [Closes her locker. The caption "LUCY for PRESIDENT" appears on screen with Thunder heard in the background. Lucy is then seen with an upside-down Dante.] "Listen Dante, if I win the presidency, I'm planning a field trip to Casket Con." Dante: "Really? Tickets are so hard to get." [The camera flips, revealing the two on the monkey bars, and that Dante is actually hanging by his arms, and Lucy is the one who's upside-down.] "You've got my vote." [Holds out a hand to shake Lucy's, only to fall off the monkey bars. She then raises her hand up.] "Still got my vote." [Next, Lucy is in the bathroom with Persephone.] Lucy: "So, I can guarantee we'll serve funeral potatoes at every meeting. My Dad's recipe is to die for." [The two finish with their business and come out of the stalls.] Persephone: "Okay, I'll vote for you." [They prepare to shake hands, but stop and look at their own hands, remembering where they just were.] Both: "Wash first." [Next, Lucy is showing Morpheus a drawing of Mortician's Club capes.] Morpheus: "Matching capes would be nice, but, I'm still voting for Haiku. Sorry." Lucy: "But why?" Morpheus: "She wrote a very beautiful haiku about my pet crow, Thorn." [She holds up Thorn, who squawks.] Lucy: "But writing a poem doesn't make you a great president. There's a lot more that goes into it." [Thorn squawks twice in her ear.] Morpheus: "Thorn is very fond of the Haiku." [Finally, Lucy is with Boris at the cemetery, with the latter playing scary keyboard music.] Lucy: "If I'm elected president, I'm gonna move some club money around and buy you a new keyboard." Boris:[Plays his keyboard] "That would be amazing, Lucy. But if you're looking for my vote, it's too late. Haiku promised that she'd take the club for a ride in her hearse." Lucy: "Pfft, it's just her parent's station wagon painted black." Boris: "Well, what can I tell you." [Plays his keyboard, Lucy huffs.]
[The next day at school, Lincoln - while humming a familiar tune - takes his books out of his locker and closes his locker. Lucy appears.] Lucy: "Hey, Lincoln." [Lincoln jumps back and drops his books.] Lincoln: "Hey Lucy. So what'd Bertrand say?" [Picks up his books] Lucy: "We're going to vote tonight." Lincoln: "Hey that's great." Lucy: "No, it's not great, Haiku and I each have three votes, which means Bertrand will have to break the tie, and of course he'll choose Haiku again." Lincoln: "Ah man, I'm sorry Lucy. At least you gave it your best shot." Lucy: "I can't give up yet. Haiku doesn't know what's best for the club, but I do." Lincoln: "Too bad you don't have one more member who could vote for you." [Lucy smiles, and Lincoln knows why.] "I walked right into this one didn't I?" [Lucy nods]
Bertrand: The results are in, and well, it appears we have a tie. Lucy and Haiku each have three votes. As sitting president, it is my duty to choose the-- Lincoln: [Off-screen with a rough voice] Is this the Morticans Club?
[The camera cuts to Lincoln, displaying a gothic look, with piercings, purple makeup and hair dye, a dog collar and a black t-shirt with a skull design at the front. They gasp as he walks in to the scene.] Lucy: "Lincoln? What in Hades handbag are you doing here?" Lincoln: "Oh well, I was hoping to join you guys. I've really taken an interest in death lately." [Sees a snake in a jar and screams] "Argh! A dead snake!" [He hops back and crashes into something. He gets up] "That was an excited scream." Boris: "Really, Lucy? Your normie brother?" Lucy: "Why, I'm as surprised as you are!" Bertrand: Very well. As a new member, I supposed he may vote for our current ev-"
Lincoln:[Abruptly] "I vote for my sister, thanks." Lucy:[Cuts in on-screen, shoves Bertrand aside and takes the gavel.] "Oh, wow. Guess that means I won." [Suspensful music plays as Bertrand looks at her with anger, as does Boris, and Haiku.]
[The next day at school, Lucy is walking alone with Fangs.] Lucy: "This is awesome, Fangs. My first day as president, I can hardly wait to read the opening obituaries." [Suddenly she hears Clyde sobbing in the bushes.] Clyde: "Why? Why Wh-y-y-y?" Lucy: "Clyde?" Clyde: "Oh, uh." [Comes out of the bush] "Morning, Lucy. This bush is where I go when I need a good cry." Lucy: "What happened?" Clyde:[Sniffles] "You know our school mascot and my morning announcement buddy, Ricky the Rooster?" [looks at a locket of him and Ricky.] Lucy: "With the fractured waddle, the artificial heart, and the gout?" Clyde:[Upset] "Yes. He, he, he went to the big barn in the sk-y-y-y." Lucy: "I'm so sorry for your loss Clyde." [Puts her hand on his] Clyde: "Thank you. I can't believe it was only yesterday he did this to my arm." [Shows his heavily bandaged arm, and starts wailing.] "I miss him so mu-u-uch!" Lucy: "You know, the Morticians Club could host a funeral for Ricky, to honor him. I mean, I'm president now and all, I'll bring it up at our meeting tonight." Clyde: "Really? That'd be great." Principal Huggins:[Upset off-screen] "It sure would," [Comes out of the bush in tears.] "I could use some closure." [Fangs starts flying on the spot.] Lucy: "It's settled then. I'll give Ricky the funeral he deserves."
[That night, Lincoln is the only one in the cemetery as Lucy enters.] Lucy: "Hey, where is everyone? I have big news. We're planning Ricky's funeral." Lincoln: "Sorry Lucy, everybody quit." Lucy: "What?!" Lincoln: "Yeah they left a scroll." [Gives the scroll to Lucy.] "They feel betrayed by you for stealing the presidency." Lucy: "Well, then you and I will just have to put on Ricky's funeral by ourselves," [Tosses the scroll away, it lands on something, which screams.] "and when they see how beautiful it is, they'll realize that I deserve to be president." Lincoln: "Not sure that's the takeaway here." Lucy: "Come on," [runs off] "We've got a lot to do." [She walks off. Lincoln runs after her.]
[The caption "THE FUNERAL" appears on a ribbon, with "R.I.P." written on a gravestone. At Ricky's funeral, Lucy has a huge picture and a shrine built to Ricky.] Lucy: "We did it Fangs." Principal Huggins:[Offscreen; unamused] "Miss Loud, is this some kind of joke?" [The ice sculpture is melted.] Lucy: "Gasp, my ice sculpture." Principal Huggins: "Ricky gave us a lifetime of service, and you honor him by making him look like a giant thumb?" Lucy: "It looked just like him this morning, I didn't know it'd get this hot today." Principal Huggins: "You didn't check the weather?" [Walks off in a huff.] Morpheus:[As he and Dante walk up to Lucy.] "What the heck, Lucy?" Lucy: "What? Is something wrong with the refreshments?" Morpheus:[He and Dante open their containers.] "Chicken nuggets?" Lucy: "Gads!" [Goes to her brother] "Lincoln, what happened? I told you explicitly to get popcorn, Ricky's favorite." Lincoln: "The microwave in the teacher's lounge was on the fritz, so I got these instead." [Eats one] Lucy: "And it didn't occur to you that serving chicken at a rooster's funeral might be... inappropriate?" Lincoln:[Realizes] "Oh, 'kay, now I see it." [Just then, Cheryl clears her throat, she's on the podium.] Cheryl: "I'd just like to say a few words before we get started, if I may." [She starts to whimper. Offscreen, football sounds can be heard.] "Every mornin' we-- AAH!" [--She gets hit with a football and thrown off the podium.] "I'm okay!" Lucy: "Lincoln, I thought you reserved this field!" Lincoln: "You said you were going to!" [The ball lands near them, and a dog pile consisting of a heap of large football players lands on them.] Lucy:[Breaks free] "Sigh, this is bad, but I can still turn this around." [She's at the podium.] "My last gift to Ricky will be to send him to the heavens, in this." [Gestures to a giant trebuchet, with Ricky's coffin attached, everyone gasps.] "Finally, he will get to experience the joy of flight." Cheryl: "A trebuchet?" [The other audience members don't get it either.] Lucy: "Time to go home, Sweet Prince." [Winds up the trebuchet] "Fare thee well." [Lucy sets it off, and Ricky gets flung into the air like a football, only to get intercepted and taken away by a passing airplane. The crowd scream.] Principal Huggins:[Sullen] "Hey, he was supposed to go to the big barn in the sky, but you put him on the Ten A.M. to Cincinnati!?" [He and Cheryl cry. Lucy sees what she's done and everyone starts booing.] Lucy:[Mortified] "No, no, no, no, no." [Lucy sees the rest of the Morticians leave.] Dante: "Ugh, this is atrocious!" Morpheus: "Just the worst!" Boris: "Some funeral." Lucy: "Wait, don't go!" [She runs up to them.] "Hold on! I'm sorry guys. This funeral was a complete disaster and it's all my fault. It's obvious I'm not the amazing president I'd thought I'd be, and I'm sorry I made Lincoln join the club, it was a cheap trick." [The club grows sympathetic.] "But honestly, the worst part is; Ricky deserved a better goodbye than this. Sniff." [The club members look at each other.] Haiku: "You know Lucy, maybe it's not too late to save this funeral." [The rest of the club surround Lucy with forgiveness.] Lucy: "Really?" Haiku: "A president can't do everything herself. We are a club after all. Let's send Ricky off right."
[The caption "THE FUNERAL II" appears on a ribbon, with "R.I.P." written on two gravestones. Dramatic organ music and thunder is heard.] [We see a crowd of people on the stands. Principal Huggins and Cheryl takes their seats again.] Principal Huggins:[Aggravated] "Well this better be good." [Haiku passes Ricky's coffin to Lucy.] Lucy: "Thank you Haiku," [in a hushed tone] "for finding Ricky." Haiku: "No problem. He was just circling the baggage claim at the airport." [Lucy takes the coffin and goes over to Dante, who's holding a basket tied to several balloons, and puts the coffin in.] Lucy: "Thank you Dante." Dante:[For all to hear] "For Ricky! Dusk and it's sweet embrace! It is time!" [Boris plays his keyboard.] Bertrand: "Right on cue." [Persephone releases a cage of crows.] Lucy:[Whispers to Haiku] "I called in a favor for the grand finale." [Just then, Luna comes in singing with an acoustic guitar.]
Luna: ♫ Ricky, Ricky the Rooster ♫ [Dante lets the basket go, and the crows follow it into the sky.] ♫ He was such a morale booster ♫ ♫ Now he's gone and we're feelin' blue. ♫ ♫ But we'll never forget his cock-a-doodle-doo ♫ [The crows form a heart around the basket as it rises.] ♫ Time to let this old bird fly ♫ ♫ Come on everybody, let's tell him good bye ♫
[Principal Huggins and Cheryl hug each other crying.] Principal Huggins: "It's so tasteful." [The Mortician's Club gather in the podium.] Lucy: "What a wonderful Mortician's Club group effort." [Takes Haiku's hands.] "But it was Haiku who really saved the day. You know, I think Bertrand had it right all along. You should be president. Haiku: "Oh, I don't know. How about... Two co-presidents? You and me work together, to make a great team. Uh, that was a haiku I just wrote." Lucy: "I love it, and I think that's a great idea." [The two friends hug.] Luna:[Shouting] "Thank you Royal Woods! Good night!" [And it irises out on Luna. The end.]
