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I've tried everything to get into this trophy case.
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The following is a transcript for the episode "A Mutt Above".
Script
[It's a sunny day in the park, Lana and Charles are playing around in a mud puddle]
Lana: [Takes a tennis ball out of her hat] "Charles, fetch." [Lana throws it, and Charles goes after it, jumps up and catches it in his mouth. He spits it out and Lana jumps up and catches it in her own mouth. She spits it out and throws it again, it lands in a garbage can] "Whoops, my bad." [Charles goes into the can to get it, Lana comes to the can and smells inside] "Mmm, something smells good in here."
[She looks around for it, when a fancy dressed girl, with her own dog approaches her]
Lacey: "Well, well, if it isn't Lana Loud in her natural habitat."
Lana: [Comes out of the trash can, enthusiastic] "Oh, hi Lacey, I didn't know you had a dog."
Lacey: [Scoffs] "Victorie, isn't just a dog, she's a purebred Maltese, from a long line of champions."
[Victorie hold out a paw, and Lana shakes it, which wasn't Victorie's intention]
Lana: "Awe, nice to meat you Vicky." [Elbows the can] "Hey Charles! Come say hi!"
[Charles comes out of the can, with a hoagie, which he plays with like a chew toy, and throws on Lacey and Victorie]
Lacey: [Shakes it off in disgust] "Ugh, Victorie stay away from that classless mutt."
Lana: [Helps Charles out of the can; angred] "Hey, don't talk about my Charles like that."
Lacey: "I was talking about to you, but your dog's no prize either." [Lana gasps] "Funny how pets resemble their owners, no?"
[Lana and Charles growl at them]
Lana: "You don't know what you're talking about, Charles is a great dog, no, the best dog."
Lacey: "Care to prove it? The Royal Woods dog show is next weekend, and the champion gets a fabulous gold trophy." [Gets in Lana's face] "I know because there are three in Victorie's doghouse right now."
Lana: "Well, don't count on a fourth, cause this year that trophy's going to Charles."
[The two fancy pants girls laugh at this]
Lacey: "Well, best of luck I guess. Come on Victorie, we're late for your eyelash curling appointment."
[They leave]
Lana: [To Charles] "Don't worry, we'll show that snob, and her little dog too."
[Back at the house, Lana has the remote, and Charles is chewing on the tennis ball]
Lana: "Okay, so I hound this video of last year's dog show, this should tell us everything we need to do, to beat Vict... Vict..." [Can't pronounce it] "You know who I'm talking about."
[Lana turns it on]
Dog Show Emcee: "Welcome to the seventy-fifth annual, Royal Woods Dog Show. Today, the canine creme de la creme will fight for the coveted title, of champion. To win, they'll need to give a perfect performance in the agility class," [a dog is seen jumping through hoops] "show off their fanciest frills in the costume class," [another dog is shown wearing a frilly outfit] "and be on their best behavior, in the class class." [a third dog does a somersault, and plays the harp]
Lana: [Amazed] "Okay, wow, didn't know what I was expecting, but, we still got this. Right Charles?" [Charles is asleep, drooling] "Uh-oh."
[Later, Lana has the backyard set up as an obstacle course, Lana is at the start with Charles, who's licking himself]
Lana: "First up is the agility class." [Sees Charles not paying attention] "Hey, hey." [Charles listens] "I built a replica of last year's course so you can practice, remember the goal is speed and precision." [Takes out a stop watch] "And go." [Charles doesn't do anything]
Lana: "See Charles, it's easy. How about showing us a nice heal?" [Things start off well, when suddenly the butterfly returns] "Ugh, you again? Scram flutter face!" [Lana starts chasing the butterfly away]
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