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| − | The following is a transcript for "[[A Tale of Two Tables]]". |
+ | The following is a transcript for the episode "[[A Tale of Two Tables]]". |
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==Script== |
==Script== |
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| − | ''[Lincoln is quietly eating dinner when Lana suddenly pokes him in the face with a wiener]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Lincoln is quietly eating dinner when Lana suddenly pokes him in the face with a wiener.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Would you cut it out?"''[as he resumes eating, Lola also pokes and smacks him with a wiener.]'' "Come on, man! Stop!" ''[the twins continue hitting him with their wieners.]'' "I said cut it out!"<br />''[It is revealed that Lincoln is having dinner at the kiddie table with his five younger sisters; he gets up to go to the fridge.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[to the viewers]'' "In most families, the 'kiddie table' is something you only see at holidays. But in a family as big as mine, it's part of everyday life." ''[pours a glass of milk]''<br />'''Lana:''' "Hey, Lincoln. You like seafood?" ''[sticks her tongue out showing mushed up pieces of food on it.]'' "See? Food! Bleeeeegh!"<br />'''Lola:''' "Hey, Lucy!" ''[sticks two french fries between her teeth as "fangs" and acts like a vampire in a Transylvanian accent]'' "I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!" ''[squirts ketchup]''<br />''[the ketchup splatters all over Lincoln's face and his younger sisters smear their fries on it to get some ketchup.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "For gosh sakes, you guys! Cut it out! ''[rubs ketchup off face and groans.]'' ''[to the viewers]'' "It's not right. My five older sisters get to sit at the grownup table with Mom and Dad, while I'm stuck here with my five younger sisters."<br />''[Lucy smacks a piece of broccoli off Lincoln's fork.]''<br />'''Lucy:''' "How can you eat that broccoli when you know how much it suffered to get here?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Uh, Lucy...broccoli doesn't feel pain."<br />'''Lucy:''' "Oh, no?" ''[shoves a piece of broccoli in Lincoln's face.]'' "Listen to the broccoli screaming, Lincoln! LISTEN TO IT!"<br />''[Lincoln screams in frustration and agony, much to the shock of his younger sisters.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "CAN'T I JUST EAT MY DINNER IN PEACE?!"<br />'''Lana:''' "Did you say ''peas''?" ''[jokingly flings peas at Lincoln.]''<br />''[Lincoln blocks Lana's peas with his plate, causing them to bounce off and onto Lisa, which Lola laughs at her.'']<br />'''Lisa:''' "Oh, you wanna play? Let's play..." ''[brings out a tiny catapult and launches mashed potatoes only to hit Lincoln instead of Lana, much to Lana's surprise.]'' "My calibration seems to have been off by about sixteen degrees."<br />''[Lana hits Lisa with her wiener.]''<br />'''Lana:''' "Mine wasn't."<br />''[as his sisters have a food fight, Lincoln imagines himself at the grownup table, where everyone is dressed in fancy attire and the decor is exquisite.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "So, I said to the Prime Minister, "Two breads are better than one!"<br />''[everyone laughs at his joke.]''<br />'''Luan:''' "Your comedy is so mature. Just like you."<br />''[everyone raises their glasses to propose a toast to Lincoln.]''<br />'''Lori:''' "To Lincoln! He puts the 'grownup' in 'grownup table'!"<br />'''EVERYBODY''': "To Lincoln!"<br />''[Lincoln blows kisses to them all only for the food fight to come and ruin his fantasy.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "That's it! I don't belong here! I'm gonna go ask to join the grownup table!"<br />'''Lola:''' "Ha!"<br />'''Lana:''' "Good luck."<br />'''Lucy:''' "You really think they're gonna let ''you''?"<br />'''Lily, Lisa, Lola, and Lana:''' "''Oooooooh!''"<br />''[Lincoln suddenly imagines everyone at the grownup table laughing at his request to join them which causes his younger sisters to laugh as well.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "You'll see. I'm gonna make it to the grownup table and leave all you children behind." ''[gets hit by mashed potatoes again.]'' |
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| − | ''[cut to Lincoln's room where he has called Clyde over to help him]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[cut to Lincoln's room where he has called Clyde over to help him.]''<br />'''Clyde:''' "Well, Lincoln, you've come to the right place. As an only child, I've been at the grownup table my whole life."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "So, you think you can help me?"<br />'''Clyde:''' "Did Napoleon have a Napoleon complex?" ''[Lincoln responds with a dumbfounded look on his face.]'' "That's a grownup table joke. You don't get it now, but you will soon. Now, don't worry. I have a sure-fire program that'll get your family to stop seeing you as a kid." ''[lays right on top of Bun-Bun.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "And start seeing me as a grownup!" ''[notices Clyde's position]'' "Careful! You're giving Bun-Bun an ouchie!" ''[grabs Bun-Bun and protectively holds him; Clyde stares at the camera in confusion.]'' |
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| − | '''Training By Clyde: Phase One: Act Like A Grownup'''<br />''[Lori, Luna, Luan, and Lynn are still in their pajamas and groggy, trying to enjoy their coffee; enter Lincoln]''<br />''' |
+ | '''Training By Clyde: Phase One: Act Like A Grownup'''<br />''[Lori, Luna, Luan, and Lynn are still in their pajamas and groggy, trying to enjoy their coffee; enter Lincoln.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Good morning, everybody! Ah, nothing like that first cup of morning joe." ''(smells it)'' "Ah, mountain grown." ''[takes a sip but then spits it out disliking the taste.]''<br />''[The coffee was spat all over his sisters who aren't too happy about that, making him nervous, he turns to Clyde; Clyde gives a thumbs-up.]'' |
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| − | ''[Lori and Leni are on the couch; Lori is texting on her phone and Leni is filing her nails; enter Lincoln reading a newspaper]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Lori and Leni are on the couch; Lori is texting on her phone and Leni is filing her nails; enter Lincoln reading a newspaper.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Hey, guys. There's a really interesting article in here about how kids are maturing faster these days. They say 11 is the new 15."<br />''[Lori and Leni take a quick glance at Lincoln and go back to what they were doing; Lincoln then turns on the TV to a White House press conference.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Ooh, the House is debating the new highways bill. This should be fascinating."<br />'''Lori:''' ''[she and Leni feeling a little worried about their brother.]'' "Are you feeling okay?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Me? Never felt better. Though the back's a little stiff. Getting older ain't easy. Am I right, ladies?"<br />''[Lori and Leni look at each other, shrug, and return to their tasks; Lincoln turns to Clyde who approves of his actions.]'' |
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| − | ''[Lola and Lana are fighting over a jump rope]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Lola and Lana are fighting over a jump rope.]''<br />'''Lola''': "I was using it first!"<br />'''Lana:''' "Nuh-uh! I was!"<br />'''Lola:''' "Give it to me!"<br />'''Lana:''' "You clearly took it away from me!"<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' ''[from downstairs]'' "Lola! Lana! What's going on?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Don't worry, Dad. I got this. Now, children, if you can't share the jump rope, then neither of you gets to use it." ''[pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts the jump rope in two.]'' "Heh, kids. They just don't get it, huh, Dad?"<br />''[Lynn Sr. scratches his head in confusion and walks away; the twins beat Lincoln up for ruining their jump rope.]'' |
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| − | ''[Lincoln is getting ready to shave]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Lincoln is getting ready to shave.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Ah, nothing like a nice, smooth face to start the day."<br />''[Luan walks by and has no idea what he's talking about.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Yup!" ''[prepares to shave; cut to him having cut himself a lot in his attempt and placed shreds of toilet paper on the cuts.]'' "Maybe I shouldn't have used the razor Mom shaves her legs with."<br />'''Clyde:''' "Never mind that. Our plan is working. You're showing your family that you belong at the grownup table. Now comes phase two: how to act once you get there." |
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| − | '''Training By Clyde: Phase Two: Advanced Table Manners'''<br />''[Clyde has set up cardboard dummies of Lincoln's older sisters and parents to practice with]''<br />''' |
+ | '''Training By Clyde: Phase Two: Advanced Table Manners'''<br />''[Clyde has set up cardboard dummies of Lincoln's older sisters and parents to practice with.]''<br />'''Clyde:''' "This is the grownup table simulator. Now, show me your salad fork."<br />''[Lincoln grabs a fork as a wild guess.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "This one?"<br />''[Clyde blasts an air horn.]''<br />'''Clyde:''' "Wrong. That's your ''dinner'' fork. Now, have some bread." ''[Lincoln accidentally grabs the piece of bread on the Lori dummy's plate.]'' "Wrong! You just ate Lori's bread!" ''[flirting with the Lori dummy]'' "Don't worry, beautiful. I'll share my buns with you."<br />''[Lincoln blows the horn at him.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Clyde!"<br />'''Clyde:''' "Sorry. Where were we?"<br />''[training resumes]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[to the Lynn dummy]'' "So, Lynn...how about those Republicans?"<br />''[Clyde blows the horn.]''<br />'''Clyde:''' "Wrong! Never talk politics! Again."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Um...we can really use some rain?"<br />''[a bell chimes; now they're using flash cards.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Soup spoon. Salad fork. Butter knife. Dessert plate. A...candid picture of Lori?"<br />'''Clyde:''' ''[realizing]'' "Oh! How'd that get in there?" |
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| − | ''[Lincoln is preparing himself with Clyde dressed as a boxing trainer]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Lincoln is preparing himself with Clyde dressed as a boxing trainer.]''<br />'''Clyde:''' "You're making great strides, Lincoln. You feel it? Keep it up! You got heart, kid!"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Yeah, yeah! I'm all grown up!"<br />'''Clyde:''' "Not yet. You have one last step." |
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| − | '''Training By Clyde: Phase Three: Look Like a Grownup'''<br />''[after some suiting up and grooming, Clyde has Lincoln ready]''<br />''' |
+ | '''Training By Clyde: Phase Three: Look Like a Grownup'''<br />''[after some suiting up and grooming, Clyde has Lincoln ready.]''<br />'''Clyde''' "I think my work here is done. Ready for the grownup table, big guy?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Did Napoleon have a Napoleon complex?" ''[they laugh]'' "I still don't get it."<br />'''Clyde:''' "Me neither." |
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| − | ''[Dinnertime, Lincoln approaches the grownup table]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Dinnertime, Lincoln approaches the grownup table.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Good evening. I have something I'd like to say! ''[gets everyone's attention; reading a speech]'' "'''There comes a time in every kid's life when he's ready to put away childish things and make that big leap into the adult world.'''"<br />'''Lori:''' ''[impatient and not caring]'' "Get to the point, Lincoln."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Okay." ''[takes a deep breath]'' "I don't think I should sit at the kiddie table anymore. I want to sit at the grownup table with you." ''[grins]''<br />''[everyone stares at him]''<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "Well...I think he's ready."<br />'''Rita:''' "So do I."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Yes! WOO HOO!" ''[tears up part of his suit from cheering.]''<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "Is that my suit?!" |
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| − | ''[Lincoln is now sitting at the grownup table and handed tonight's dish]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Lincoln is now sitting at the grownup table and handed tonight's dish.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[slightly disgusted]'' "Liver? I thought we were having chicken nuggets."<br />'''Rita:''' "That's just for the younger kids, honey. At the grownup table, we eat grownup food."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "And thank goodness for that!" ''[hands the liver over to Luna and picks up a fork.]'' "Liver fork!"<br />''[everyone stares at him and he just starts eating; eventually, the conversation gets a little boring for him.]''<br />'''Rita:''' "So, Lynn, how did you do on your math test today?"<br />'''Lynn:''' "Good, Mom. I think I really nailed those integers."<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "So, Lori, I heard Bobby's dad had a hernia operation. How'd that go?"<br />'''Lori:''' "Um...okay, I guess."<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[trying to beat the boredom]'' "Hey! I heard a funny joke today."<br />'''Luan:''' "We don't tell jokes at the grownup table."<br />'''Luna:''' "Or sing, brah."<br />''[Lincoln now feels even more bored after what he was just told and hears his younger sisters over by the kiddie table having fun]''<br />'''Lisa, Lola, Lana, and Lucy:''' "Beans, beans, the musical fruit! The more you eat, the more you-"<br />''[Lana then makes fart noises with her armpit and they all have a good laugh; Lincoln slightly chuckles at their antics.]''<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "Something funny, Lincoln?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Not at ''this'' table."<br />''[later]''<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "So, it turns out we didn't need the service call in the first place. The darn copier was just unplugged."<br />'''Rita:''' ''[laughs]'' "How about that?"<br />''[Later, Lincoln's younger sisters are all having sundaes for dessert, giving Lincoln hope that there is one thing to look forward to at the grownup table.]''<br />'''Rita:''' "Okay...you're all excused."<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[calmly]'' "Uh, Mother...I believe you forgot something. Dessert?"<br />'''Rita:''' "Oh, that's just for the younger kids."<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[exasperated]'' "Ugh. Seriously?!" ''[his older sisters stare at him]'' "I mean, uh, seriously, who needs the extra calories?"<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "That's right, son. Say, how does it feel sitting at the ol' grownup table, huh?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[disappointed]'' "It's everything I dreamed it would be."<br />''[later at bedtime; Lincoln calls Clyde on his walkie talkie.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Clyde! The grownup table is a nightmare! I didn't realize how good I had it at the kiddie table! I gotta get back."<br />'''Clyde:''' "Negative, Lincoln. You can't ask to leave now. Next time you ask your family for something, they won't take you seriously. Is that what you want?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "No, but-"<br />'''Clyde:''' "Now I gotta run. My parents and I are doing our taxes!" ''[leaves]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "I gotta do something." |
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| − | ''[It appears to be dinnertime the next night]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[It appears to be dinnertime the next night.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Look, you guys. I thought about it, and I really don't belong here. I think I should go back to the kiddie table."<br />'''Luna:''' ''[in a trance]'' "You ''can't'' go back. You can ''never'' go back, bro!"<br />''[the room suddenly gets darker, and Lincoln is shackled to his chair.]''<br />'''Leni:''' "You're one of us now...a grownup..." ''[reveals tonight's dish which appears to be Clyde's head.]''<br />'''Clyde:''' "Better start working on those taxes, Lincoln!"<br />''[Lincoln reviles in horror, breaks free, and runs for the kiddie table only to be stopped by his parents.]''<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "Where do you think ''you're'' going?!"<br />''[pan up to reveal that his parents' heads are now cooked turkeys, scaring Lincoln.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[panicking]'' "PLEASE! I HAVE TO GET BACK TO THE KIDDIE TABLE! I'M NOT A GROWNUP YET! I'M STILL A KID!"<br />''[suddenly, he is chained and bound to the grownup table, doomed to be a grownup like his older sisters.]''<br />'''Lynn, Luan, Luna, Leni, and Lori:''' ''[chanting]'' "One of us. One of us. One of us."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"<br />''[He falls into a void of despair as his sisters continue chanting his fate.]'' |
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| − | ''[Lincoln wakes up in his room, revealing it all to have been a nightmare]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[Lincoln wakes up in his room, revealing it all to have been a nightmare.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[gasps]'' "It's all my fault. I worked so hard to prove I'm a grownup." ''[looks at Bun-Bun and then gets an idea.]'' "Hmm...maybe it's time to act my age." |
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| − | ''[the next night at dinner]''<br />''' |
+ | ''[the next night at dinner.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Lincoln Loud in the house! Where my grownups at?" ''[plays with his silverware]'' "Are you ready to chow?"<br />''[his sisters stare at his behavior confused.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[puts pieces of asparagus between his teeth; Transylvanian accent]'' "I vant to suck your blood!"<br />'''Rita:''' "Lincoln! Please don't do that!"<br />''[Lincoln wipes the asparagus from his mouth and takes Luna's piece of bread.]''<br />'''Luna:''' "Yo! That's mine!"<br />'''Lincoln''' "Was it? Hey, Leni. You like seafood? See? Food! BLEEEEEGH!" ''[sticks his tongue out with mushed up bread on it.]''<br />'''Leni:''' ''[disgusted]'' "Lincoln! Gross!"<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[talking with his mouth full as pieces of food gush out.]'' "Hey! How about those republicans?"<br />'''Lynn:''' ''[She and Luna block their faces; disgusted]'' "Ugh! Lincoln! Say it, don't spray it!"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "I didn't hear the magic word...PEAS!" ''[flings peas at Lynn.]''<br />'''Lynn:''' ''[starting to give in]'' "Oh, it is on!" ''[but holds back]'' "I mean...grow up, Lincoln."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Good grub, Dad. It reminds me of a song. Beans, beans, the musical fruit! The more you eat, the more you-" ''[farts on cue]'' "Everybody now!" ''[keeps farting]''<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' ''[fed up with his son's immature behavior.]'' "Lincoln Loud, that is enough!"<br />'''Rita:''' ''[also fed up]'' "I thought you were ready for the grownup table, but clearly, you are not."<br />'''Lincoln:''' "You're a tough lady, Mom, but fair. Laters! ''[he leaves]'' |
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| ⚫ | '''Lincoln:''' ''[back at the kiddie table]'' "Hey, guys! I'm back!" ''[hit by mashed potatoes and rubs it off]'' "Ah, it's good to be home. ''[sits down]'' "What did I miss? Let's...''ketchup''!" ''[squirts ketchup at his younger sisters; laughs and gets hit by potatoes three times.]''<br />''[they all begin a food fight to celebrate Lincoln's return and Lynn pops in on them.]''<br />'''Lynn:''' "Hey...can I join you guys?"<br />'''Lincoln:''' "Sure. The more, the merrier."<br />'''Lynn:''' ''[sitting down next to her younger brother.]'' "Oh. I never knew it was possible to make it out of the grownup table." ''[Both of them stare to their left to see Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan.]''<br />'''Lori:''' "Psst! Can we join, too?"<br />''[Much to the joy of the younger siblings, they too are happy to be at the kiddie table as they pull in chairs and sit down altogether.]''<br />'''Luan:''' ''[in between Lincoln and Lana]'' "Wow! Chicken nuggets! I haven't seen these in years!" ''[gets hit by mashed potatoes.]''<br />''[Excited, all the Loud kids engage in a big food fight, altogether at the kiddie table laughing with joy.]''<br />'''Lincoln:''' ''[to the viewers]'' "There really is no rush to get to the grownup table. It's gonna happen eventually. So in the meantime, might as well enjoy being a kid."<br />'''Lynn Sr.:''' "Finally, a little peace and quiet."<br />'''Rita:''' "Did you say ''peas''?" ''[flings peas at her husband]''<br />''[they both laugh as they too enjoy these kinds of shenanigans.]'' |
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Revision as of 02:22, 3 February 2020
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The following is a transcript for the episode "A Tale of Two Tables". Script[Lincoln is quietly eating dinner when Lana suddenly pokes him in the face with a wiener.] [cut to Lincoln's room where he has called Clyde over to help him.] Training By Clyde: Phase One: Act Like A Grownup [Lori and Leni are on the couch; Lori is texting on her phone and Leni is filing her nails; enter Lincoln reading a newspaper.] [Lola and Lana are fighting over a jump rope.] [Lincoln is getting ready to shave.] Training By Clyde: Phase Two: Advanced Table Manners [Lincoln is preparing himself with Clyde dressed as a boxing trainer.] Training By Clyde: Phase Three: Look Like a Grownup [Dinnertime, Lincoln approaches the grownup table.] [Lincoln is now sitting at the grownup table and handed tonight's dish.] [It appears to be dinnertime the next night.] [Lincoln wakes up in his room, revealing it all to have been a nightmare.] [the next night at dinner.] Lincoln: [back at the kiddie table] "Hey, guys! I'm back!" [hit by mashed potatoes and rubs it off] "Ah, it's good to be home. [sits down] "What did I miss? Let's...ketchup!" [squirts ketchup at his younger sisters; laughs and gets hit by potatoes three times.] |