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The following is a transcript for the episode "Bend It Like Abuelo."
Script[]
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The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
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[In the Casagrande mercado Ronnie Anne, CJ, Carl, Carlitos, Lalo, Sergio and Carlos are all pumped for the upcoming soccer game]
Ronnie Anne, Sergio & CJ: "Gatos! Gatos! Gatos! Gatos!"
Rosa: [Charges in, broomstick at the ready] "Gatos?! Where? Where?"
Ronnie Anne: "Not real cats, Abuela. The soccer team!"
[Points to the banner of their favourite soccer team]
Rosa: "Oh. Well, when those real gatos get here... I'll be ready."
[Slowly backs out and shuts the door.]
Vito: [Walks past the kids] "I don't know what you's are so excited about. Everyone knows the gatos lose every game."
Hector: "This is not just a game." [Rips off his sweater, revealing a gato t-shirt] "It's the Crosslake Championship!"
Vito: [Mockingly] "Oh. So they're gonna be big losers! I've got my money on anyone who's not The Gatos."
[Rips off his own shirt, revealing a t-shirt with a red circle and slash over the Gato team logo. Hector is aghast. He comes from behind the counter and bumps Vito]
Hector: "Just wait. Our star player, Picosito, is gonna win this year. When he's hot, ay-yi-yi, he's hot!"
Vito: "Too bad he's been ice cold for years." [Just then, someone enters the mercado. Vito doesn't take notice] "Picosito is no longer neato."
[Some men wearing Gato's jerseys walk past Carl, who gasps]
Carl: "Hey, Vito, bet you wouldn't say that if he were here."
Vito: [Not noticing an orange cleat stop a soccer ball] "I sure would. I'd tell him that he and the Gatos stink like yesterday's kitty litter!"
[Vito chuckles and eats a concha. Suddenly a hand taps him from behind. Everyone gasps when they see it's Picosito and two other Gatos players, much to Ronnie Anne and CJ's excitement.]
Ronnie Anne: "Picosito!"
CJ: "He's here!"
Vito: [Drops the concha from his mouth] "Wha?"
[Before the concha hits the ground, Picosito catches it on his foot, bounces it on his knee, balances it on his foot and kicks it onto Vito's head for a perfect landing]
Hector: [Throws Vito aside; happily] "Picosito! I'm Hector Casagrande." [Bows] "Oh, it's an honour to have you in our mercado."
Carl: "Why do they call you Picosito?"
Picosito: "I don't know." [To Hector, holding an armload of chips] "May I have seventeen orders of your chile chicharones? Extra picosos, por favor!"
Carl: "Oh, I get it now."
Carlos: [Wearing a cat costume] "Oh, let me prepare those for you, Picosito." [Takes the chips and goes to the table] "Es un honor." [Draws claws out of his costume and slices all the bags open. Followed by a lime. One half rises up, Carlos grabs it in midair and squeezes the juice onto the chicharrones all with one hand. Next, he adds the picosos] "Caliente! Order up, Picosito."
[Picosito takes them and starts eating]
Hector: "I'm your biggest fan! I've never missed a game! Can I get a picture?"
Picosito: "As long as I don't have to stop eating this. Mas chile, porfis!"
[Carlos adds more chile and the family gets in for a photo]
Vito: [Holding the camera] "Say, Gatos."
Family: "Gatos!"
Rosa: [Enters with the broom] "Where?"
[Picosito rubs Hector's head and Rosa looks around. Vito takes the photo, which includes Rosa moving her head around. Hector looks at the photo]
Hector: "I'm never washing my head again."
Rosa: "When did you start?"
[Later, it's game time. Vito and his dogs are watching with the Casagrandes]
Announcer: "Picosito breaks down the middle. Take the pass from Flores. Goal!" [The Casagrandes cheer, and Vito is shocked] "Picosito has been en fuego tonight!" [The score is the Gatos leading with six and the Patos only have one] "What a crazy change of fortune for Los Gatos!"
[The team has Picosito on their shoulders]
Vito: "How is this even possible? These guys were dogs!" [To his dogs] "Uh, no offence, Big Tony and Little Sal."
[His dogs grumble at that comment and refuse to look at him. Hector rubs his picoso covered scalp and realizes]
Hector: [Gasps] "I'll tell you how it's possible. Picosito rubbed my lucky bald head!"
[Flies are buzzing around said wrinkly bald head]
Vito: "I… I think you're right, Hector. They were terrible before they rubbed your big cabeza." [To everyone] "Working on my Spanish."
CJ: "Abuelo, you know what this means?"
Carl: "If Picosito wants to keep winning, he has to keep rubbing your head!"
[Rubs CJ's head. CJ playfully tackles his hermano]
Vito: [Goes for the head] "Hey, I could use some luck."
Hector: [Swats Vito's hand away] "Uh-uh-uh! This head is for Gatos only!" [Puts a Gatos cap on] "Meow!"
[Suddenly he gets a broom to the head]
Rosa: [Still thinking about the real cats] "Did I get the gato?"
[Horns are blaring at the soccer field, Hector strides up to the entrance, where a security guard is standing]
Hector: "Excuse me, but Picosito has to rub my head."
Security Guard: "You got a ticket?"
Hector: "They were sold out!"
Security Guard: "Well then I can't help you, pops."
[Hector groans and walks away, he passes the Gatos' mascot in the lot]
Hector: "Guess I'm out of luck, and so are the Gatos."
Mascot: [Groans, and puts his head down] "Where's my flea collar?"
[He digs through the trunk of his car, and doesn't see Hector noticing the mascot head. Hector chuckles. Back at the entrance]
Security Guard: [Sees someone approaching] "Go ahead, Mr. Gato."
[Mr. Gato is actually Hector wearing the head. The guard doesn't notice and just lets Hector in]
Hector: "Meower Power."
Security Guard: "Meower Power indeed." [Wipes a tear]
[Inside, the teams are warming up. Hector looks around and sees the man he came for]
Hector: "Picosito!"
[Chases after Picosito, and is very out of shape. Hector stops in the middle of the field]
Announcer: "Hey! Look who it is! It's Mr. Gato!" [Hector sees himself on the jumboscreen] "Time to do the Gato Boogie!"
Crowd: [Chanting] "Meow, meow, meow!"
Hector: [Joins the chanting and pounces around] "Meow, meow, meow! Meow, meow, meow!" [Runs off] "Go, Gato, go!" [Shuffles next to Picosito] "Gato, rub my head!"
Picosito: "Huh?"
Hector: "It's Hector Casagrande!" [Takes the head off] "You know the handsome guy from the mercado?" [Shows Picosito the photo] "I'm your lucky charm!"
Picosito: "Aye, señor, you know how many people think they're our good luck charms?"
Hector: [Seeming despondent] "You're right, I'm just an old fool." [Perks up] "Okay, no hard feelings. High five!"
[Picosito shrugs and prepares to high-five Hector. When he goes for it Hector rubs his head on Picosito's hand. Picosito has no idea what that was. Suddenly Hector yelps while he is grabbed by the security guard.]
Security Guard: [Drags Hector out] "Come on, Pops, the game's starting and you're getting on my nerves."
Announcer: "Goal! Let's take a look at that again!" [The instant replay starts on the jumboscreen] "Picosito scores on the opening kick-off!" [The replay shows Picosito making the opening kick and the kick going straight into the goal] "Increible! Que emoción!"
Picosito: [Runs up to the security guard who is about to throw Hector out] "Hey, security! On second thought, don't kick that guy out." [The guard drops Hector] "He's our lucky charm. Welcome to the team, Hector!"
[The rest of the team runs up and picks Hector up. Hector ends up on the jumbo screen and blows kisses for the cheering fans]
Crowd: [Chanting] "Hec-tor! Hec-tor! Hec-tor! Hec-tor!"
[The next day, Hector is waiting outside the stadium with his gatos t-shirt and cap. The team bus pulls up]
Picosito: [Exits the bus] "Team, good game yesterday. Another win all because of our lucky charm, Hector Casagrande! So don't forget to rub Hector's head."
[The team gets off the bus]
Hector: "Kept it warm for you." [Takes his cap off. One by one, the team rubs Hector's head, some in their own ways] "That's it. Make it count, muchachos! We're gonna win." [Later, the gatos are losing to the chihuahuas zero to five] "Aww! The wrong team is winning! My luck has worn off. We're toast if I don't do something."
[Runs off]
[Back at the apartment, Hector runs inside. Inside, Rosa is doing the laundry and humming, when her esposo bursts in, causing her to drop the basket]
Hector: "Rosa, the Gatos are losing, even with the whole team rubbing my lucky head! You have to restart my luck and fast. The game is already half over!"
Rosa: "I'll have to use all the remedios in my good luck arsenal." [Rosa slides a green wooden box into the counter, Rosa looks at all her powders and potions. She weighs one jar, grinds her molcajete and tastes one potion. Rosa adds a drop of something into her pot which instantly bubbles up and explodes, causing Hector to flinch and yelp.] "We'll start with a good luck smoothie packed with herbs like artemisia." [Takes a spoonful of dirt and sticks] "Doesn't that sound delicious?"
[Pops the spoon into Hector's mouth without warning]
Hector: [Gags] "It may sound delicious, but it tastes like a dirty pata!"
[Burps up a gas cloud of a foot and crossbones.]
[Later, Rosa is humming a tune and skating rings around Hector, sage candles smoking. Vito and the rest of the family are sat down watching them.]
Carl: "Hurry up with the sage. The second half is about to start!"
Rosa: "You're right. We'll need to turbo sage you." [Takes out an industrial leaf blower loaded with sage and blasts Hector. Hector coughs from the soot] "After the herbs and sage, I recommend this." [Takes out a Hector doll dressed like Ernesto Estrella]
Hector: "A mini Hector?"
Rosa: "Even better. A magical mini Hector! I had it custom-made from Ernesto Estrella's website."
[Rosa carries the doll, Hector gets up, glowing, Rosa makes the doll do jumping jacks and Hector moves with the doll]
Hector: "Hijole! How is this helping my luck?"
Rosa: "It isn't. You just need the exercise."
[Lalo sees the doll and gets excited about it. Lalo grabs the doll and Hector starts floating. Lalo shakes the doll in his mouth and Hector shakes too. Lalo starts chewing the doll, spits it out, and runs with it, Big Tony and Little Sal run with Lalo, and Hector is pulled with them. They go under the rug, down the hall, over the table, under the table]
Hector: "Rosa, do something!"
Rosa: "Lalo! Bad dog!"
[Lalo stops, and Big Tony and Little Sal try to take the doll from him, they play tug of war over the doll, stretching Hector along with it, then they let go. The doll goes flying onto the couch, and Hector goes flying out the window, Rosa grabs the doll and pulls Hector back]
Rosa: "How do you feel now, Hector?"
Hector: "I feel pretty lucky, to be alive."
[Back at the soccer field the crowd is cheering away. Picosito chest traps the ball when Hector returns]
Hector: "Picosito! I'm back!"
Picosito: "Abuelito, forget it." [An opponent tries to take the ball but Picosito keeps him at bay] "Your lucky bald head is just a bald head."
Hector: "You don't understand. I recharged it! It's lucky again!"
[Picosito manages to get the ball, suddenly the opponent slide tackles him out of nowhere. When the dust settles, Picosito is on the ground, wailing in pain]
Picosito: [Clutching his foot] "Mi dedo gordo!"
Rosa: [She and the family watching at home] "Ay, poor Gatos. I don't know what's wrong with my remedies. Hector is still unlucky."
Carlos: [In a rather chipper mood] "Oh, I don't know about dad, but I've been very lucky today. I found a twenty-dollar bill in a wallet I thought I had lost."
Sergio: [Snatches the wallet. Squawks] "Easy come, easy go."
[Flies away snickering and immediately crashes into the wall, dropping the wallet, which bounces off the chair and lands right back in Carlos' hand]
Carlos: "See? Can't lose! Everything's been coming up Carlos. Except for these new chonies Frida got me." [Raises his shirt, revealing the waistband of a pair of jalapeño chonies] "It's been chafe city all day."
Rosa: [Walks up to Carlos and gasps as soon as she recognizes the waistband] "These aren't yours. They're Hector's jalapeño chonies!"
[Yanks them right off Carlos]
Carlos: "That's another trauma for the books" [Drops to the floor]
Rosa: "Hector wore these yesterday."
Carl: "And the day before."
Rosa: "What if it was Hector's chonies that brought the good luck?" [Makes a call] "Hector, I know why you've been unlucky. You've been wearing the wrong chonies! We're on our way." [Hector says something] "We don't have time to bring you food too."
[Rosa and Carlos arrive at the stadium]
Carlos: [In unison] "Dad!"
Rosa: [In unison] "Hector!"
Hector: "What took you so long? There's only two minutes left and they're down by five!"
Rosa: [Still has the doll, pulls Hector up, not liking his tone] "Watch how you talk to me or I'll use the doll again."
Hector: "I mean, thank you, mi amor."
Carlos: "Quick, put these on." [Throws the chonies in Hector's face as he drops to the ground] "They're what make you lucky."
[Hector slides back behind the ball launcher. The rest of Hector's outfit comes out from behind it, followed by Hector wearing his lucky chonies, which get snagged on the handle of the ball launcher]
Hector: "Ah, híjole! Why is it so hard to run?"
[Gasps as he sees Picosito pass by and manages to run, pulling the machine along with him, which goes off and shoots a soccer ball at a crew member's stomach]
Guard #2: "Hey!"
[Starts chasing after Hector but gets hit by the ball launcher too. Another crew member goes after Hector but also gets hit. Suddenly a mob of stadium crew is after Hector]
Announcer: "What's this? We have another runner! Zoom in, Manuel! Por favor!" [Hector appears on the big screen, they zoom in on the jalapeños] "It's former team lucky charm, Head Rub Hector!" [Hector lead security across the field] "And security tries to nab him, but Hector dodges and shoots them with the ball launcher!" [The ball launcher takes the whole crew out. Picosito looks behind him and sees Hector catching up]
Picosito: "Ay, no, Don Hector. Please don't make me rub your head again."
Referee: [Catches up to Hector, with a red card] "Interference!" [Gets hit with the ball launcher]
Hector: "But it'll work this time! I'm wearing my lucky chonies!" [Grabs Picosito's hand] "We're gonna win. Trust me!"
[Pulls Picosito's hand closer to his head, but Picosito stops him]
Picosito: "I don't need your chonies or your head!"
[They starts brawling, causing a fight cloud.]
Hector: "Yes you do!" [They brawl again] "Just rub my head!" [They brawl again, which ends with Picosito noogieing Hector] "Noogies count!"
[Just then the big security guard grabs Hector and drags him away]
Announcer: "Jalapeño Chonies Man is being dragged out of the stadium for interference and bad taste in undergarments!"
Hector: [Gets dragged out of the stadium] "Gatos foreverrrrr!"
[The guard takes Hector all the way home and drops him on the floor in 2A, where his familia cheers]
Rosa: "Hector! The Gatos won! You did it!"
[On the screen the whole team has Picosito on their shoulders]
Announcer: "Picosito scored six goals in the last two minutes! Unbelievable! That was the biggest comeback in sports history!" [Rips his shirt off; Tarzan voice] "Goal!"
Crowd: "Chonies! Chonies! Rah, rah, rah! Jalapeño, jalapeño! Hot, hot, hot!"
Hector's Familia: [Pick up Hector] "Chonies! Chonies! Rah, rah, rah! Jalapeño, jalapeño! Hot, hot, hot!"
[After the game, the Gatos' bus is parked outside the mercado]
Picosito: "Hector, thank you for your good luck, but mostly for being our fanatico numero uno! [A teammate hands Picosito a ball] "This is for you, the winning ball!"
Hector: "Oh, gracias, Picosito! And we have a gift for you and the team."
Rosa: "Lucky jalapeño chonies!"
[Picosito laughs]
Picosito: "I hope they're not made with real jalapeños."
Sergio: [Wearing a pair; squawks in discomfort] "They are!" [Flies in circles] "It burns!" [Continues squawking in pain. He then sits in a bin of raspado and calms down] "Ay, que rico!"
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