The following is a transcript for the episode "Butterfly Effect".
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The scene opens up on an exterior shot of the Loud House on a sunny day; Lincoln leaps out of his room to perform for the viewers.] Lincoln: "Watch in awe, as The Amazing Lincoln displays his unbelievable yo-yo skills! I shall now "walk the dog"!" [Charles enters the scene, carrying a leash in his mouth.] Lincoln: "Not you, Charles. I meant the yo-yo." [Charles whimpers, and he walks out of the scene; Lincoln does his "walk the dog" trick.] Lincoln: "I shall now go "AROUND THE WORLD"!" [Charles enters the scene, carrying a suitcase.] Lincoln: "Sorry, still talking about the yo-yo." [Charles whimpers, and he walks out of the scene; Lincoln attempts to do the "around the world" trick, but the yo-yo flies off his finger, ricochets around the hallway, and flies into Lisa and Lily's room, causing a crash.] Lincoln:[nervous] "The Amazing Lincoln will now take a brief intermission." [Lincoln and Charles look into the room, and they see that the bottles on Lisa's desk have been broken, with their contents spilled.] Lincoln: "Yikes. I better go tell Lisa." [Cut to Lincoln's imagination, where Lisa observes the damage in a dark, stylized environment.] Imaginary Lisa:[turning red with anger, with her teeth sharpened.] '"You've completely DESTROYED MY LIFE'S WORK! I DESPISE YOU, AND YOU NO LONGER EXIST TO ME!"' [A wall of fire burns in the background behind her, along with a cultist choir. Back to reality.] Lincoln: "Yeah, I'm not telling Lisa." [Charles whimpers] "Oh, come on, Charles. When did you get a conscience? I've seen you poop on the couch! Besides, if I just walk away, what's the worst thing that could happen?" [Charles glances at the viewers; Lincoln takes the yo-yo from the damage.] "I'll just remove the evidence, and they'll be none the wiser." [Lincoln and Charles walk out of the room; a drop of one chemical falls into a puddle of another chemical, causing an explosion that raises the roof.]
[Lisa is examining the damage on her desk.] Lisa: "I don't understand what went wrong. Science is a fickle mistress." [Lori is looking over a hole in the wall caused by the explosion, which leads to the closet in her's and Leni's room; Leni pokes her head through the hole.] Leni: "Hi, Lori! Have we always had a window in our closet?" Lori: "Ugh, it's not a window. Lisa's experiment blew a hole in the wall." [notices a picture frame peeking out from the other side.] "What's this?" [Lori sees that the frame contains a signed photo of Bobby.]"To my bodacious babe"? Leni, why is this picture of Bobby hidden on your side of the closet?" Leni: "Oh, there is it is! That was a surprise present from Bobby for your 88-day-iversary. He asked me to hide it for him, but I forgot where I put it." Lori:[Annoyed] "That anniversary was eight days ago, and Bobby gave me socks!" [Chucks the photo away in anger] "I can't believe this! You're literally seeing Bobby behind my back!" [Storms out] "You are no longer my sister!" Lincoln:[walks into the room with a nervous smile] "Everything okay after that unexpected and totally random explosion that I know nothing about?" [Lori shouts in anger, marches out of the room, and slams the door; the vibrations causing a coat rack in the closet to fall onto Leni, knocking her out; a shelf also tips over, causing several pairs of shoes to fall on her.]
[Leni opens her eyes as she regains consciousness on Lisa's bed; Lincoln and Lisa are looking down on her.] Leni: "What happened?" Lincoln: "A shelf fell on your head." Leni: "Of course! Everyone knows that an object falling at a velocity of 9.8 meters per second squared will result in a temporary loss of consciousness." Lisa: "I knew that. The question is, how did you?" Lincoln: "Hey, I saw this in a movie once. I bet getting hit on the head altered Leni's brain and made her smart." Lisa: "Lincoln, you seem unable to distinguish between scientific fact and preposterous Hollywood schlock." Leni: "I don't get it." Lisa: "See? Same old Leni." [Presses her cheek] "Can't even understand simple English." Leni:[walks over to Lisa's chalkboard, which contains a complex equation.] "No, I don't get why you multiplied your "Z" polynomials before solving your non-negative integer exponents." [Lisa looks over the equation, and gasps loudly as it dawns on her that Leni is right.] "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to disprove Newtonian physics. Buh-bye!" Lisa:[collapses to the floor, crestfallen] "My world no longer makes sense." [Charles looks up and growls at Lincoln.] Lincoln: "Don't you have a couch to poop on?"
[The camera cuts to the Living room. Lincoln is cleaning up the mess on the couch.] Lincoln: "Charles, that was a rhetorical question!" [Lynn enters the house in a outraged mood, screams loudly, and pounds her fist against the wall; she hyperventilates as Lincoln walks up to her.] Lincoln: "What are you so upset about?" Lynn: "I just got kicked off all my sports teams because I'm failing school!" Lincoln: "How could you fail? Doesn't Lisa tutor you?" Lynn: "She used to, until she dropped out and got a job as a gas station attendant at Flip's Food & Fuel." Lincoln: "She WHAT?!" Lynn: "UGH, WITHOUT SPORTS, MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS!" [kicks her soccer ball hard, forcing Lincoln to duck down and brace himself.] Lola:[walks down the stairs announcing] "I present to you your new "Miss Cute and--" [the ball hits her in the face] "OH, MY NOSE!" [Lola looks into a mirror, and sees that her nose has severely swollen up.] Lola:[gasps in despair] "I am a hideous...monster!" Lincoln: "It's not that bad, Lola." Lola: "MY PAGEANT CAREER IS OVER!" [Lola runs up the stairs, and she trips and falls on her face when she reaches the top.] Lola: "OH, MY TEETH!" [sobs] [Lincoln tries to control his feelings. Charles looks up at Lincoln, and he shakes his head in disapproval. Lincoln grumpily stares back at him, and then becomes regretful.] Lincoln: "Fine, I'll fix it."
[Lincoln rides his bike over to Flip's Food & Fuel. He sees Lisa wearing a gas station attendant's uniform.] Lincoln: "Lisa, why are you doing this?" Lisa: "Flip's the only guy who will hire four-year-olds with no experience." Lincoln: "No, I mean, why are you doing any of this? Come home. Lynn needs you!" Lisa: "Why don't you get Miss Smarty-Pants to help her!" [Leni drives up in a pink convertible.] "Speak of the Devil. Regular or unleaded? Leni:[brandishes a certificate] "Oh, I don't need gas. I just won the Nobel Prize for inventing a car that runs on apple juice." Lisa:[Apathetic] "Of course you did." Leni:[hands Lisa a juice box] "Fill 'er up, please!" [Lisa opens up the fuel tank, and squirts the carton's contents into it.] Lincoln: "And then we'll all get in Leni's juice-mobile, go home, and forget all this nonsense." Leni: "Can't! I'm off to Harvard! Au revoir, adios, auf Wiedersehen, and aloha!" Lisa: "A-HA! "Aloha" means "Hello"!" Leni: "It also means "Goodbye"!" [speeds off, leaving Lincoln and Lisa alone.] Lisa: "Dang it. I used to know that." [Flip, the owner of the station, opens a window and calls out to Lisa.] Flip: "Hey, Chatty Cathy, BACK TO WORK!" [the station's payphone rings; Lincoln answers it, and he hears barking on the other end.] Lincoln: "Hello? Charles? She's WHAT?! Alright, I'm on my way!"
[Lincoln enters Lola's room, holding an ice pack.] Lincoln: "Look who it is, Miss Soon-to-heal." [Lola, who is trying to stuff a bunch of clothes into a suitcase, turns to Lincoln; she still has her swollen nose, and all but one of her teeth are gone.] Lola: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Lincoln: "AAAAAHHH! I mean, you're looking better!" Lola:[with a lisp] "Oh, nice try, Lincoln, but I am out of here! I can't stay where I'm... CONSTANTLY REMINDED OF MY FORMER SELF!" [looks up, sadly, at old photos of herself.] "My beautiful, beautiful self." Lincoln: "But...But..." [Lola struggles to pull her stuffed suitcase, and the handle breaks off, causing her to fall on her face and black both her eyes.] Lola:[Fiercely] "I'll send for this!" [grabs the ice pack, puts it over her eyes, and walks out into the hallway.] Lincoln: "Lola, wait!" [Lincoln tries to run for her, but he bumps into a plastic bubble containing Lana.] Lana: "Careful, Lincoln! You could get seriously injured!" Lincoln: "Lana, what are you doing in there?" Lana: "I saw what happened to Lola. Life is a fragile thing. I don't want to take any risks." Lincoln: "But you're the queen of risks!" Lana: "Was the queen of risks! From now on, I'll stay in here, where it's safe! You know what I'm talkin' about, huh, Geo?" [Geo rolls by in his hamster ball.] Lincoln: "Lana, you can't be serious!" [Lana rolls past him] "Lana?!" [Lincoln suddenly hears Luna singing.] Luna: "♫ Things have gotten drastic / Now, my sister lives in plastic / Where did it all go wrong? ♫" Lincoln: "Luna?" Luna:[shows Lincoln a laptop] "Check it, bro. I uploaded a song I wrote about our family going down the Highway to--HELLO! I just got fifty more hits!" [The ceiling breaks open, and Mick Swagger descends, holding into a rope ladder from a helicopter.] Luna:[gasps] "Mick Swagger?!" Mick: "Your singing is amazing! You gotta join my tour!" [holds Luna's hand] Luna: "Luna is IN!" [the rope goes up though the hole in the ceiling, carrying both away.] Lincoln:[Bawling] "Don't you leave, too! THE FAMILY'S FALLING APART!" Luna:[from the helicopter] "SORRY, DUDE!" [the helicopter flies away]
[Lincoln goes into his room, and he decides to contact Clyde with his walkie-talkie.] Lincoln: "Clyde, this is Lincoln! Come in! I've got a Code Blue!" [the screen splits in half to show Clyde's location.] Clyde: "Code Blue?! You did something wrong and lied about it, and now everything is all messed up?!" Lincoln: "Affirmative! Can you come over?!" Clyde: "Negative. I've got a Code Green!" Lincoln: "You showed up to school in your underwear?" Clyde: "No, that's Code Orange. Hang on." [Clyde's is revealed to be skydiving with Lori, and he takes a picture of them with his camera phone; Lincoln gets the picture via text message on his phone, and he jumps up in surprise.] Lincoln: "SWEET MOTHER OF...What are you doing with Lori?!" Clyde: "I've been trying to tell you! A Code Green; Lori broke up with Bobby, and I'm the rebound guy!" Lori: "Happy eight-minute-iversary, Snookie-Booboo-Sugarbear." [Clyde leans in for a kiss, but Lori deploys her parachute, causing Clyde to kiss a flying bird instead.] Lincoln:[gags and throws away the walkie-talkie.] "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAMILY?!" [Luan shows up, solemn and depressed, and knocks on Lincoln's door.] Luan: "Knock-knock." Lincoln: "Who's there?" Luan:[Miserably] "This is not a joke, Lincoln. Do you know what's going on in the world? Here, take Mr. Coconuts. He just reminds me of all the trees being cut down in the rainforest." [Lincoln holds Mr. Coconuts while Luan walks away.] Lincoln: "Wait, Luan..." [She stops] "What brought this on?" Luan: "Well, ever since Luna left, I've had no one to try my jokes out on. So, I've been watching a lot of cable news, and what I've seen is horrific. So, I've decided to become..." [Angrily clenches her fist] "AN ACTIVIST!" Lincoln: "Don't be ridiculous! You're a comedian!" [takes out a pie and throws it into his face.] "See? Funny, right?" [Lincoln yelps - releasing the pie mess and Mr. Coconuts - and ducks down as a horde of wild animals stampedes past him.] Lincoln: "What the heck was that?!" Luan: "They're just Lana's pets. I liberated them. And now, I'm off to heal this ticking time bomb we call Earth." Lincoln: "Wait, Luan, you can't be serious!" [a monkey appears, spooking Lincoln, and it takes Mr. Coconuts.]
[The monkey and a big snake are in the living room; Lincoln chases Izzy, who hides under the couch.] Lincoln: "Get back here, Izzy!" [the snake hisses at him, and hides behind the couch.] Lincoln: "Izzy, come to Uncle Lincoln!" News Reporter:[on the TV] "And now, for tonight's top stories. Former rising star Luna Loud was kicked off the Mick Swagger tour, for destroying a hotel room." [the news cut to footage of Luna screaming amidst the wreckage of her hotel room.] Luna:[in a British accent] "ALL I WANTED WAS A BLEEDING PILLOW MINT!" Lincoln: "Luna?" Reporter: "In a related story, former comedian turned activist Luan Loud has chained herself to a giant redwood." [the news cuts to footage of Luan chained to a giant redwood, while onlookers record her with their mobile devices.] Luan:[chanting] "Hey-hey, ho-ho! Keep your hands off, let it grow!" Lincoln: "Luan?!" [Izzy, the snake, and the monkey join him in viewing.] Reporter: "I'm being told we have breaking news." Lincoln: "Please don't be one of my sisters!" [the news cuts to Katherine Mulligan on the scene at Flip's Food & Fuel, with Lisa drinking a "Flippee" ice drink right next to her.] Katherine: "Tucker, I'm here at Flip's Food & Fuel, where two unknown bandits have just made off with a carload of beef jerky and a cotton candy machine!" Lisa: "They're not unknown, they're my sisters." [sips] "Their betrayal hurts more than this brain freeze." Katherine: "I'm getting word that the bandits are currently leading police on a slow-speed chase!" [cuts to an army of police cars chasing Lola's kiddie car through the desert; Lola, her face now covered in bandages, is driving, while Lynn is in the passenger seat, eating cotton candy.] [Lincoln and the animals look on in shock; Izzy, Lincoln, and the monkey take on the familiar "wise monkey" poses.] Lincoln:[Anguished] "WHERE DID IT ALL GO WROOOONG?!" Katherine: "One has to wonder, where did it all go wrong for these girls? And why is a four-year-old working at a gas station?" [Flip takes hold of the camera.] Flip: "Interview over! Wait, don't forget to come down to Flip's Food & Fuel, home of the Flippee! Now the interview's over." [puts his hand over the camera.] [Lincoln turns off the TV with the remote; Lucy suddenly appears next to him.] Lucy: "I was watching that." Lincoln:[screams and jumps up in terror, letting go of the remote.] "Lucy! At least you're still normal!" [Lucy looks toward Lincoln, and smiles wide to reveal a pair of vampiric fangs as she hisses.] Lincoln: "D'AAH! NOT NORMAL!" Lucy: "I was bitten by Lana's liberated vampire bat. Greatest! Day! EVER!" [turns into a bat and flies away.] Lincoln: "Nine sisters lost, but there's still one I can save!"
[Lincoln enters Lisa and Lily's room, and he looks into Lily's crib; he finds that she is not in it.] Lincoln: "Lily?" [the roof is lifted up from outside by Lily, who has grown to gargantuan size; she looks down at Lincoln, and she giggles with a deep voice.] Lincoln: "LILY!" [Lincoln sees a trail of Lisa's chemicals leading from her desk to the crib.] Lincoln: "Oh no, Lisa's chemicals! What have I done?!" Lily: "Mmmm... yum yum!" [Lily reaches down for Lincoln as he tries to run away; he gets caught, and Lily opens her mouth.] Lincoln: "DON'T EAT ME, LILY!" [Lincoln screams as Lily lifts him toward her mouth; his open mouth fills the camera, turning the screen black.]
[the screen flashes back to the point where Lincoln and Charles were overlooking the damage on Lisa's desk.] Lincoln: "So that's the worst thing that could happen." [Charles barks] "I totally agree! I'm going to tell Lisa!" Lisa:[in the doorway] "Tell Lisa what?" [gasps as she sees the damage.] Lincoln:[quickly while fearful] "I was playing with my yo-yo, and it got out of control, and it wrecked your experiment, and I'm really, really sorry! Go ahead and disown me, 'cause I deserve it!" [Lisa smiles, and hugs Lincoln.] Lincoln: "I'm confused. You're not mad?" Lisa: "Mad? I'm ecstatic! You proved my hypothesis! Your recklessness was the one variable my rigidly-controlled experiment sorely needed!" Lincoln: "I'm still confused." Lisa: "I'm saying thank you for being a clumsy doofus. And thanks for admitting what you did." Lincoln: "I didn't have a choice. [Increasingly fearful] I didn't want you to work at a gas station, or Lynn and Lola to turn to a life of crime, or Lana to live in a bubble, or...or...or..." Lisa: "Fascinating. Exposure to my chemicals seems to have damaged his cerebral cortex." [Walks away] Lincoln:[sighs; speaks to the viewers] "Boy, am I glad that nightmare's over." [Lincoln hears a bicycle bell ringing from outside; he looks out and sees Lori, and Clyde riding a tandem bike, which is dragging a string of cans and a sign reading "JUST MARRIED"; the sight of this causes Lincoln to scream in horror.]
