The following is a transcript for the episode "Bye Bye Birthday."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Open at the Royal Woods Cemetery; the Morticians are having a meeting] Bertrand:[reading from a spellbook] "Spirits, hear our plea. Take us to the Underworld, post-hastily." [The clouds swirl and lightning emanates. The Morticians gasp in delight as they prepare to go to the Underworld... but then the clouds fade. The Morticians realize they're not in the Underworld and groan. Boris takes out his keyboard and plays a sad tune.] Bertrand: "Apologies, dear friends. I'm afraid my spell work has suffered since my exile aboardthat cruise ship." [Lucy is lying on a grave, moaning.] Lucy: "Sigh..." [tosses a skull aside] "Big sigh..." Bertrand: "Worry not, Lucy. We shall get to the Underworld someday." Lucy: "It's not that. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my tragic arrival on this Earth." Morticians:[confused] "Huh?" Lucy: "My ninth birthday." [The other Morticians come to comfort Lucy, Boris playing a sad tune.] Haiku: "My condolences." Dante: "How dreadful." Boris: "Oh, why must normie society insist on celebrating life?" Lucy: "I'm afraid my birthdays are even worse than a typical normie celebration. Every year, my family subjects me to the same traditions." [Cut to a flashback of her eighth birthday. Lucy gets up and arises from her coffin.] Flashback Lucy: "Yawn." Lucy:[narrating] "They start the day at a frightening pitch." [The rest of the Louds barge in with balloons, noisemakers, and confetti.] Louds: "Happy birthday, Lucy!" [Some of them blow on their noisemakers. Lucy is so annoyed she hides back in her coffin. Cut to later, with Rita presenting the Loud birthday sash and putting it on Lucy.] Lucy:[narrating] "Then they force me to wear the traditional Loud birthday sash. I suspect it's never been washed." Lana: "Hey, it's my booger from my third birthday!" [eats it] [Lucy gags at the filthy act. Cut to the Louds at a bounce house that's clearly been reused for countless birthdays, given it's originally labeled for the twins, then Lincoln, then Lily, and now for Lucy, with each previous name having been crossed off to make room for the next. The kids are bouncing inside the house with Lucy looking dejected, while Rita is outside.] Lucy:[narrating] "Then I'll be subjected to the dreaded bouncy castle, a family birthday staple ever since my dad got it on clearance." Lynn Sr.:[peeking out from one of the castle windows] "See, Rita? I told you we'd get our money's worth." [Lucy continues to bounce in total misery.} Lynn:[faintly] "CANNONBALL!" [Lynn jumps down from the castle towers and lands on the bouncy surface, launching Lucy into one of the nets. Cut to Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet] Lucy:[narrating] "Then there's the singing. Oh, the singing..." [The Louds are dining inside and and singing while Lucy has a birthday cake ready.] Louds: "♫ Happy birthday to you! ♫" Flashback Lucy: "Sigh... finally, the torture ends..." Luna: "Now in French, les dudes!" [She starts singing in French with the waiters] Luna and Waiters: "♫ Bon anniversaire à toi, bon anniversaire à toi... ♫" Flashback Lucy: "Groan..." [hides under the table in misery] [Back to the present, the Morticians gasp in horror] Lucy: "I wish my family would just forget about my birthday." Bertrand: "Perhaps I can make your wish come true." [peruses the spellbook] "Let's see, bilingual spell, binding spell... aha! Here we are. Birthday-Be-Gone Spell. In order for this spell to work, you must gather your loved ones before the sun sets on the eve of your birthday." [Lucy looks at the horizon and the sun is setting] Lucy: "Gasp! It's almost sunset. I'll have to work fast."
[At the Loud House, Lynn Sr. brings casserole over for dinner] Lynn Sr.: "Dinner, everybody--" [accidentally drops the dinner on the ground and gasps] "Where's the ding-dang table?!" [The rest of the Louds show up] Lana: "And where are the ding-dang chairs?" [Lucy sneaks up behind Lynn Sr.] Lucy: "Ahem." [gets their attention] "Please follow me." [The rest of the Louds shrug and follow Lucy outside. Lynn Sr. scrapes the casserole back in the plate and leaves, leaving behind some leftovers on the floor. The pets immediately make a beeline for the scraps and fight over them in a fight cloud, with Geo getting thrown out of the fight cloud alongside some of the leftovers. Since he's stuck in his hamster ball and can't enjoy the leftovers, Geo can only chatter in frustration.]
[Lucy has set the dining table outside in the backyard, with a tablet showing Lori on video call.] Lori: "Hello? I've literally been waiting here for twenty minutes." [The rest of the Louds take their seats.] Rita: "Oh, hey, honey. Lucy, what is this all about?" Lucy: "Well, with my birthday on the horizon, I thought we could celebrate early with a sunset dinner and, um, poetry slam." Lynn: "I'm in! I love a good slam!" [hits Lincoln with her elbow and knocks him out of his seat] Lincoln:[hurt] "Unnecessary..." Lucy: "If you'll please take your seats, I'm eager for you all to hear my..." [takes out the spell] "poem." [to Fangs] "Wink." [Fangs winks back] "Ahem. Gathered 'neath the setting sun--" [realizes] "Wait." [looks around] "Where's Leni?"
[Leni is in the living room on video call with her boyfriend, Gavin.] Leni:[giggles] "No, Gavin, you hang up first!" [Gavin nods back] "No, you! No, you!" [Lucy is watching all this in irritation and nods at Fangs, giving him permission to attack.] "No, you!" [Fangs grabs Leni's phone and engages in a tug-of-war match against her. They both lose their grip and it lands in a nearby glass of water.] "Oh, no! Gavin can't swim!" [Lucy grabs Leni and drags her away] "Gavin, hold your breath!"
[Leni is back at the dining table, completely bored.] Lucy: "Now, where were we? Gathered 'neath the setting sun--" [realizes] "Wait." [looks around] "where's Lisa?"
[Lisa and Lily's room. Lucy and Fangs peek inside and spot Lisa working on a device.] Lisa: "Lucy, it's far too chilly outside for our fresco dining. But once I get this weather modulator working, I can alter tonight's temp to a comfortable 72 degrees." [Lucy nods at Fangs, and he stuffs Lisa in a winter coat.] "That works too."
[The backyard; the sun is on the verge of setting] Lucy: "OK, if there are no more interruptions--" [Suddenly she hears the sound of a lawnmower. Mr. Grouse is outside mowing his lawn. With the sun setting, Lucy nods at Fangs, and he swoops off to attack Mr. Grouse] Mr. Grouse: "What the dickens?!" [Fangs screeches and goes for the attack] "AHH! Get off me, you flying fiend!" [Lucy smiles and resumes the ritual.] Lucy: "Gathered 'neath the setting sun, this past year is almost done." [An ominous wind surrounds the Louds.] "My birthdays come, my birthdays go. At sunrise, you'll never know." [The wind fades.] Rita:[clears throat; nervously] "Great poem, sweetie. Very abstract." Lynn: "Yeah, I was moved and jumped. Can we eat now?" [The Louds dig in. Fangs flies over to Lucy and squeaks] Lucy: "Patience, Fangs. Bertrand said we won't know whether the spell worked until sunrise." Lana: "Good casserole, Dad. Carpet hair garnish was a nice touch." [resumes eating] [Lola is staring in shock upon hearing that and gags in disgust.]
[The next day, early morning. Lucy rises from her coffin and notices there's no one ready to wish her happy birthday] Lucy: "Hmm. No screaming siblings. No noise-makers. Could it be?" [Lola is walking in the hallways wearing a bathrobe and with her hair done in curlers with Lucy opens her door] "Lola, tell me. Is today special for any reason?" Lola:[thinks and gasps] "Lucy, I almost forgot!" [Lucy frowns, thinking the spell hasn't worked, but then...] "Today is my weekly mani-pedi. Thanks for reminding me!" [leaves] Lucy:[high-fives Fangs] "Yes! The spell worked! This is cause for celebration, if we were the celebrating type." [They share a laugh] "Ha-ha."
[The kitchen; Lynn Sr. is making breakfast] Lucy: "Good morning, Fa--" [Suddenly she's interrupted by the other siblings and sent spinning] Luna: "Outta my way! I'm late for a Moon Goats rehearsal!" [snags a loaf of bread and leaves] Leni: "Toodles! I have a date with Gavin." [grabs an apple and leaves] Luan:[on her cell phone] "Sure, I'm always available for a last-minute Gigglin' Geezer set." [has Mr. Coconuts eat some cereal] "I'll be right over." [leaves] [Lucy regains her balance.] Lucy: "Ah, ignored per usual. Perfect." Lynn Sr.: "Breakfast time, kiddo." [serves her a bowl of cereal] [Lucy looks into the cereal, and imagines it and the milk swirling into a flashback to her birthday, where Lynn Sr. is dressed as a ghost with a bedsheet over his body with no eye holes and serving pancakes] Flashback Lynn Sr.: "I got a spooky birthday breakfast for a spooky--" [runs into the wall] "Oh! Oh, OK, that's a wall." [serves her the pancakes] "Happy birthday, kiddo." [True to her tastes, the pancakes are in the shape of a ghost. Lucy happily digs in. Back to the present.] Lucy: "Huh. I forgot about the ghost pancakes. That was actually... kinda nice. Still, I made the right choice." [digs in to her cereal]
[Now Lucy and Fangs are in the living room watching Vampires of Melancholia] Lucy: "Fangs, this is the life. An all-day marathon of Vampires of Melancholia, with no one to bother us." [Suddenly she gets a flashback to her birthday. She's watching the show when Lincoln startles her in a vampire costume] Lincoln:[vampire accent] "Greetings, birthday ghoul." Lucy: "Gasp! You've scared me." Lincoln: "Bleh. You're velcome." [They share a laugh] "For your birthday, I thought we could watch your vampire show together." [takes out a sheet of paper] "Plus, I found some fan theories for us to debate." [starts reading it] "Do you think Tristan is a shapeshifter? Yay or nay?" [Back to the present] Lucy: "Wow. That was... kind of nice." [sighs] "Sigh..."
[Lucy and Fangs are in the backyard, reading a book.] Lucy: "And they all lived unhappily ever after. The end." [closes the book] [Suddenly a spider lowers itself on a web and winks at her. She gets a flashback to her birthday. Lana hands a jar of spiders to her.] Lana: "Happy birthday." [Lucy opens the jar and the spiders crawl all over Lucy. It's enough to make her laugh. Back to the present.] Lucy:[sentimental] "Best present ever..." [sniffs] "Fangs, I've made a grave mistake."
[The Morticians have assembled once more at the cemetery] Lucy: "Friends, thank you for coming on such short notice. I need your help. I want my birthday back." [The others gasp] Dante: "That can't be!" Persephone: "Have you fallen ill?" Boris: "Or been bewitched by a sorcerer?" Lucy:[bangs her gavel] "Just hear me out. I only remembered the birthday stuff that I didn't like and not the really cool things my family did to make me feel special. And now, I just missed all of it." [sobs] "What have I done?!" [faceplants into the podium] Bertrand:[reading his spellbook] "Wait. Good news. The Birthday Be Back Spell. In order for the spell to work, you must gather your loved ones before the sun sets on the day of your birthday." Lucy: "Oh, great. This again?" [Fangs squeaks and pokes her. She notices the sun is setting again] "I only have an hour, and some of my siblings aren't even home." Dante: "Fear not. We'll help." Morpheus: "Morticians' Club, initiate bat mode!" [They all leave while imitating bat squeaks. Fangs is left behind and rolls his eyes at the poor imitation.]
[The Moon Goats are at the Burnt Bean performing "My Band" when Bertrand, Dante, and Haiku show up on stage and carry Luna away. Boris slides on stage with his keyboard and starts playing with the Moon Goats. The crowd is loving it.]
[Leni and Gavin are at Gus's Games and Grub, playing Dance Battle. Morpheus and Lucy show up and drag Leni away. Persephone takes Leni's place and starts dancing, even grabbing Gavin, dipping him, and sending him spinning away as he crashes off-screen.]
[The Gigglin' Geezer] Mr. Coconuts: "Welcome aboard! I hope you took your calcium supplements because I'm about to tickle your funny bone! Also, they're just good for you." [Morpheus uses a shepherd's crook to drag Luan out of the bus and takes her spot.] Morpheus: "Hey, ladies and worms! Why are there gates on cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in there! Ha-cha!" [No response; a senior clears his throat] "Wow, tough bus."
[The Loud House backyard; evening. The dining table is once more in the backyard, complete with the tablet and Lori on video call] Lori: "Hello? My time is valuable, too, you guys." [The rest of the Louds assemble for dinner] Lucy: "Hurry, everyone. Take your seats." Rita: "Lucy, sweetie, what's going on?" Lucy: "Uh, encore poetry slam." [Lynn readies her elbow to slam Lincoln once more] Lincoln:[knowing what's coming] "Don't even think about it." [Lynn lowers her elbow in disappointment.] Lucy: "Let's get started." [pulls out the spell and starts reading] "My birthday's gone, and I'm filled with regret--" [Mr. Grouse is outside, dressed in a Scottish kilt and playing bagpipes. Fangs immediately swoops in and leaves him tied up in his bagpipes. Lucy smiles at this.] "My birthday's gone, and I'm filled with regret." [The same ominous wind surrounds the family.] "Please bring it back while there's sunlight left." [The wind fades, and Fangs goes back to Lucy.] "I hope this worked. Family, is today special for any reason?" Lola:[gasps] "Lucy, I almost forgot!" [Lucy smiles] "There's a new episode of Prison Pageant Wars tonight!" [Lucy frowns] "Oh, and it's also your birthday." [Lucy smiles at this] Leni: "OMGosh, why are we not celebrating?" Rita: "Quick! Get the sash!" Lynn Sr.: "And the bounce house! I told ya we'd--" Rita: "Get our money's worth, yes, honey." [Lucy's face quavers, and she hugs her family.] Lucy: "Hug." Luna: "Um, dude, you feelin' OK?" Lisa:[checks Lucy's temperature] "Eh, 62 degrees. That's normal for Lucy." Lucy: "I'm just glad to be spending my birthday with you guys." Lincoln: "Did anyone make a reservation at Jean Juan's? Move it, people! Lucy only turns nine once!" Louds: "Happy birthday, Lucy!" [They all leave, leaving Lori behind] Lori: "Hello?" [Fangs grabs the tablet and brings Lori with them] "Um, what is happening?" [The end]
