The following is a transcript for the episode "Candy Crushed."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The Louds (minus Lola) have just finished their dinner] Lynn Sr.:[holding a platter] "OK, kiddos, I made something special for dessert. It's a frosted Lynn-amon Bundt cake." [removes the lid and gasps in horror when he realizes the dessert is gone] "MY BUNDT! What happened to it?!" Lana: "Don't look at me. I prefer mud pies." Lynn Sr.: "Well, it's not like it sprouted legs and walked away." Lisa: "Let's not rule that out. My recent experiments in culinary science have yielded surprising results." Lincoln: "Now that I think about it, someone ate all the cake puffs Clyde made me the other day." Luan: "And my butter pecan cookies I made for the Drama Club bake sale. Whoever took them butter fess up." [laughs] Lisa: "Sounds like we have a treat thief. Fortunately, Todd's programmed in forensic astronomy. Todd!" [Todd shows up] "Initiate culinary investigation mode." [Todd activates his culinary investigation mode, deploys a screen, and starts scanning before spotting a trail of candy leading up the stairs.] Todd: "DETECTING HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP IN THE VICINITY. I AM RECEIVING A STRONG SIGNAL FROM UPSTAIRS." [Lynn Sr. lugs Todd upstairs as the rest of the family follows] "THANK YOU, PARENTAL UNIT. SIGNAL GROWING STRONGER." [They enter the twins' room where Lola is seen trying to stash a box under her pillow] Lola:[annoyed] "Um, hello? When did knocking go out of fashion?" [Todd continues to scan Lola's side of the twins' room] Todd:[uncovers candy on her bed] "HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP DETECTED." [uncovers the box under her pillow, revealing it to hold candy] "HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP DETECTED." [uncovers a large stash of candy in her oven] "HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP DETECTED." Lola:[groans] "How dare you? I don't see a warrant. This is a violation of my rights." Todd:[scans her] "DANGEROUSLY HIGH LEVELS OF HIGH-FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP DETECTED." [reveals she's swallowed the cake whole] [The others gasp] Lynn Sr.: "MY BUNDT!" Lola:[chuckles] "OK, which one of you put that there?" Rita: "May I have a word with Lola alone, please?" [The others angrily leave] Lynn Sr.: "Did she even chew that thing?" Lana: "Not cool, sis!" [Rita sits on Lola's bed.] Rita: "Lola, sweetie, it seems like your sweet tooth is getting out of hand. Maybe it's time to take a little break from treats." Lola: "A break from treats?" [scoffs] "Please. It's not like I have a problem." Rita: "You're eating a lollipop right now." [Lola is indeed eating a lollipop] Lola: "What?" [removes it] "Who put that there?" [She throws the lollipop away and it hits Mr. Sprinkles as he slides off of Lola's board, revealing a fancy princess dress and a crown with it.] Rita: "You know, it's good to set healthy goals. How about this? If you give up treats for a whole week, I'll buy you this pageant dress you've been eyeing." Lola: "Seriously? Just for giving up treats? You've got a deal." [shakes Rita's hand] "This is gonna be a piece of cake. Minus the cake, of course." [chuckles] Rita: "Great. Then I'll just hold on to these for now." [packs up Lola's stash of candy] Lola: "Oh, you're taking them all right now? Oh, great. Fabulous. Oh, wait. Um, can I just have a moment alone with the salted caramel truffles? They're my absolute favorite." Rita: "Of course." [hands the box over] [Lola takes one last look at the box's contents] Lola:[tearfully] "Goodbye, sweet friends..." [kisses a truffle and closes the box] "OK, take them away." [Rita takes the candy away as Lola groans and flops on her bed.]
[The next morning, Lynn Sr. is serving breakfast] Lynn Sr.: "Here you are, girls." [serves Lisa and Lily fried eggs as Lola comes downstairs] "Oh, morning, Lola." Lola: "Morning, Daddy. I'll have the French toast today, and make it extra French-y." Lynn Sr.:[French accent] "One French toast coming up." [enters the kitchen] [Lola takes a seat at the table as Lynn Sr. serves the French toast. She grabs the maple syrup and begins lathering the toast] Rita: "Remember, sweetie, hold the syrup." Lola:[realizes] "Oh, right." [pushes the plate aside] "I'll just have pancakes à la mode, then." Rita: "Um, that means covered in ice cream." Lola: "Fine. Give me cereal." Rita: "Candy in a bowl." [Lynn Sr. comes out with a bowl of cereal and is disappointed to hear that as he takes it back to the kitchen.] Lola: "What am I supposed to eat? Air?" Rita: "There are a lot of things." [hands a bowl of oatmeal] "How about a nice bowl of oatmeal with fruit?" Lola: "OK, I can work with that." Lynn:[notices the maple syrup French toast] "Aw, yeah, baby! Time to carb load before the big game!" [Lola throws the French toast away before grabbing Lynn by the collar.] Lola: "You're either with me or against me, Lynn!" [Lana has noticed the French toast now on the floor and having maple syrup splattered on the walls.] Lana: "Alright! Breakfast on the floor! You guys finally listened to me!" [chuckles and starts eating it like a dog]
LATER THAT DAY... [Lola goes to watch TV with Mr. Sprinkles] Lola: "Ooh, the Little Miss Motor Oil Pageant is on. This should keep my mind off treats." [Unfortunately, the pageant is on commercial break... with a candy ad] Candy Announcer: "Wake up your taste buds with X-Treme Fruity Sour Blasters! It's like a party in your mouth!" Lola:[nervously chuckles] "Let's see what else is on, shall we?" [She changes the channel to a truffle commercial] Truffle Announcer: "Handcrafted by master chocolatiers." [Lola starts salivating as she bites on Mr. Sprinkles. Rita has noticed] "Our truffles are irresistibly smooth, irresistibly rich, and just plain irre--" [Rita turns off the TV, snapping Lola out of her daze.] Rita: "Oh, Lola, honey, you look like you could use a little help. Oh, why don't you try this?" [gets a packet of celery sticks] "Every time you're tempted to have sweets, just have a stick of celery instead." Lola: "Celery? Well, I always liked the crunch. This shouldn't be so bad."
[Now Lola and Mr. Sprinkles are outside, enjoying celery sticks with tea] Lola: "Some rose hip tea to go with your celery, Mr. Sprinkles?" [Unfortunately, her tea time is interrupted by a Jack Sweet's Candy Factory truck delivering candy to Mr. Grouse] Mr. Grouse: "Oh, good. My Jack Sweet's chocolates of the month are here." [Lola growls and leaves the front porch] "Ooh, those caramel macadamia chocolates are my favorite--" [gets sprayed with a hose] "HEY!" [The hose's wielder is Lola] Lola: "You're either with me or against me, Mr. Grouse! Now beat it, delivery boy, unless you want some of this too, huh?!" [She then sprays the delivery boy, scaring him off.] Mr. Grouse: "No, wait! My chocolates!"
[Lola is now driving her jeep and eating a celery stick] Lola: "Who needs treats when you have the open road, fresh air, and no temptations?" [Just then the sound of an ice cream truck jingle is heard] "The sweet, sweet music of an ice cream truck?" [notices she's being followed by an ice cream truck] "Not today." [She finishes her celery and speeds up. She drives down the street but the truck follows her, she then swerves around two consecutive corners but the truck does the same.] Lola:[addressing the truck's driver] "Stop chasing me, Dalton!" Dalton:[Who actually is chasing Lola] "But, Lola, you're my best customer!" [Lola continues to evade Dalton, with him accidentally driving into a water fountain and being lifted up by a geyser of water] "Lola, why?!" Lola: "You're either with me or against me, Dalton!"
TUESDAY... [Lola is shopping at the Royal Woods Mall and spots a candy store with Sammie Crowley as the cashier. Lola is initially attracted, but snaps out of it and walks past the store, leaving a disappointed Crowley behind.]
WEDNESDAY... [Lola is watching a movie at the theater with Lincoln and Lynn, eating celery sticks as the latter two are enjoying Flippees, popcorn, and gummy worms.]
THURSDAY... [Lola returns a stack of attendance records to Cheryl, who hands her a candy bar from her hair. Lola refuses it, and Cheryl shrugs and puts it back in her hair.]
FRIDAY... [It's early morning at the Loud House. Lola is about to leave for school] Rita: "Happy Friday, Lola. Oh, I'm so impressed with how well you've been doing." Lola: "I know, right? Get your wallet ready, because in a few hours, that pageant dress is mine." Rita:[laughs] "I packed you some more celery for the road." Lola: "No thanks. We have a school field trip today. Those are always fun and distracting. Wherever we go, I shouldn't have any problems keeping my mind off treats." [chuckles]
[Later, Lola and her classmates are in a school bus, which pulls up to their field trip destination. All the second-graders gasp at their destination, except for Lola] Lola:[horrified] "Are you kidding me?! Jack Sweet's Candy Factory?!" [They are indeed at the factory. The kids all exit the bus happily, while Lola is completely worried.] Mr. Sweet: "Yoo-hoo! Up here, kids!" [He's standing next to a candy zipline, and slides down it before landing in front of them.] "Welcome to my candy factory. You're in for a treat. There's so much to see. And the best part is, it's all edible." [The kids sans Lola gasp in wonder.] Lola:[worried] "Great." Mr. Sweet: "That's right, you can eat everything, just like my licorice zipline." [eats the zipline] "Ooh, even our gummy bear factory workers are edible." [One gummy bear runs away screaming.] "Oh yeah, uh, we can't let you eat them, though. It's in their contract." [chuckles] "Now who wants to experience my yum-tastic candy paradise?" [The kids sans Lola rush forwards] Lana: "I do, I do!" Lola:[sighs] "You can do this. Just stay calm and picture the dress." Mr. Sweet: "Shall we begin?" [He yanks Lola into the factory, and they begin the tour while he starts singing.]
Welcome to the first room on our tour If you get lost, there's a map on our brochure This is where we keep the candy cooker Our candy's made with love, but it's mostly made with sugar
[The tour continues into a room where the workers play jumprope with taffy to stretch it out. The kids are hanging on to the taffy as it's hung up and then cut up down a chute.]
Here we pull the taffy till it gains some elasticity It's not about efficiency, it's more about consistency Once it's stretched sufficiently, we hang it up like this, you see? And after that, we cut it up and pack it individually
[Mr. Sweet catches the kids as they go down the taffy chute, then they continue down a conveyor belt full of candy packaging.]
♫ Welcome to my factory ♫ ♫ Would you like some taffy? ♫ ♫ We're here to make you smile ♫ ♫ So we hope it's satisfactory ♫ ♫ Welcome to my factory ♫ ♫ Would you like some taffy? ♫ ♫ We're here to make you smile ♫ ♫ So we hope it's satisfactory ♫
[Mr. Sweet takes the kids into a sweet-and-sour licorice field and offers a licorice stick. Lana takes a lick of the licorice stick, only for her face to go sour from the taste. He takes the twins into a sky full of candy cotton clouds, then they all plummet down the skies before landing on one that acts as parachutes.]
Try a little lick of this sweet-and-sour licorice And how have I forgotten my favorite candy cotton? ♫ All the clouds are made of it ♫ ♫ So eat it in the shade of it ♫ Your tooth may be decayed a bit But please don't be afraid of it
[They land next to the other kids in a crystal candy forest, where Mr. Sweet unveils a gummy bear chorus behind several crystals. The chorus begins singing, unnerving Lola.]
And here we find the Crystal Candy Forest 'Cause it's got something for us A gummy bear chorus! Gummy Bears: ♫ The gumdrops are delectable ♫ ♫ The frosting floor is spreadable ♫ ♫ The sprinkles are embeddable ♫ ♫ And everything is edible! ♫
[Mr. Sweet snags Lola with a candy cane. He and the rest of the kids begin skipping through the halls, sans Lola.]
Mr. Sweet: Ha ha ha! ♫ Welcome to my factory ♫ ♫ Would you like some taffy? ♫ ♫ We're here to make you smile ♫ ♫ So we hope it's satisfactory ♫ ♫ Welcome to my factory ♫ ♫ Would you like some taffy? ♫ ♫ We're here to make you smile ♫ ♫ So we hope it's satisfactory ♫
[Lola spots the exit and begins sprinting for it, only to end up on a treadmill as Mr. Sweet and the others eat peanut butter brittle. She hops off the treadmill and runs into Mr. Sweet holding a gummy, then keeps running for the exits when the gummy bears pounce on her and share even more candy. At which point, Lola gets a crazy look in her eyes as if the candy has some kind of hypnotic control over her and she is about to try some. She manages to snap out of it as the song reaches its end.]
♫ Try a little peanut brittle ♫ ♫ It'll probably make you giggle ♫ ♫ And just look at all the gummies with the jelly in the middle ♫ ♫ All our flavors artificial ♫ ♫ You can eat 'em by the fistful ♫ Gummy Bears: ♫ Yum-du-dum, try the bubblegum with the little flavor crystals ♫
Lola:[throws the gummy bears off] "ENOUGH!!!!" [continues to head for the exits] "Yes! I did it! Haha! Thank goodness that's over! Ha! Take that, Jack Sweet--" [accidentally runs into him] "Huh?" Mr. Sweet: "Leaving so soon? Certainly not without one of my ooey, gooey, creamy, delicious salted caramel truffles?" [takes one out from his fanny pack] Lola:[can't resist anymore] "T-t-truffles?"
[That evening, the bus pulls up to the Loud House and a dejected Lola opens the front door] Rita: "Hey, Lola. Let's go buy that new dress--" [Lola begins crying and hugs her] "Oh!" Lola:[tearful] "I don't deserve that new dress! I caved and had a treat!" [hands over the truffle wrapper] "We went on a field trip to a candy factory, and I tried so hard all day, but in the end I just couldn't resist. I'm sorry, Mom. I know I let you down." Rita: "Let me down?" [hugs her] "Honey, I am so proud of you." Lola: "Uh, maybe you didn't hear me. I failed big-time." Rita: "Lola, sugar is OK in moderation. You made it through a whole week and a candy factory, and you only had one treat. I'd say you made a lot of progress." Lola: "Really? Oh, I guess it was pretty impressive. I surprise myself every day, really." [chuckles] Rita:[laughs] "So, shall we go buy that new dress?" Lola: "You're still gonna buy me the dress?" [Rita nods] "Maybe we can get the matching shoes, too?" Rita:[laughs] "Don't push it." [Suddenly Dalton comes back in his ice cream truck] Dalton: "Lola! Talk to me! I have new flavors! I'm begging you!" Lola:[to her mom] "Will you excuse me for a second?" [heads outside] Dalton: "There you are! Wait, what are you--" [gets sprayed with the hose] Lola: "For the last time, Dalton, you're either with me or against me!" [Iris out on Lola. The end]
