The following is a transcript for the episode "Coupe Dreams".

Script

[At the car dealers, Rita, Lynn Sr., Lori and Leni are looking around.]
Lynn Sr.: “I can't believe our little Lori Lou is buying her very own car for college!” [Inhales] “It seems like just yesterday you were tootling around on your trike, diaper filled in the brim..." [He begins to cry.]
Lori: "Aw Dad, stop. Seriously people are looking."
Rita: "Now remember sweetie, all you need is something sensible that will get you back in forth from school."
Lynn Sr.: [Sniffs] "Cause you're coming home every weekend, right?"
Lori: [Distracted] O, M, gosh!” [She and Leni run up to something.] “That is literally the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen!"
Leni: [Observes] “He's cute, but, he's kind of a weird dancer.” [Leni imitates the dancing of the tube man she's complimenting on.]
Lori: [Chuckling] "No, not that." [Lori runs over to a turquoise car.] "That!"
Leni: “This car is beautiful! And it's totes your color.”
[They hop into the car.]
Lori and Leni: “Woah”
[They squeal in excitement, then they admire all of the car's features, the makeup mirror, the sunroof, the LED gearshift.]
Lori: "I can put my iced chai here, my golf clubs in the back... It's like this car was made for me!"
Leni: "Can you imagine pulling up to Fairway University in this?"
[Lori sighs, thinking about life with her car, she pulls up to Fairway and tosses the key to the valet.]
Valet: [Thrilled] “That ride is so nice I'll park it for free.”
[He imitates the balloon dance, which morphs back into the real balloon man. Rita and Lynn Sr. look at the price tag and are uncertain.]
Lynn Sr.: “Yikes, that's a lot of moolah, the entire family could go to Fiji for the same price.”
Rita: “This car is beautiful, but are you sure you don't want something closer to your price range?”
Lori: “No! this is my dream car, I have to have it, I'll find a way to buy it.”


[Back at the house, the girls exit Vanzilla.]
Lori: “Oh, and we got to think of a good name for her.”
Leni: [Gasps] “How about, Lydia?”
Lori: "Love it!” [Squeals] “I still can't believe I'm gonna buy my first car."
Mr. Grouse: "Hey Loud, if you need a car I got an old clunker that I'd love to get rid of from the right price.” [Mr. Grouse hits the car, which is under a tarp, and the tire punctures.]
Lori: “Thanks for the offer, Mr. Grouse, but I've already found my dream car.” [To Leni] “I know the car's expensive, but I already figured how to pay for it, I'll just get a second job on top of working at Dad's restaurant.”
Leni: “That's a great plan, Lori.” [Notices something] “Oh-no! Mr. Grouse, your car!”
Mr. Grouse: “Huh?” [The car is rolling down the driveway. Mr. Grouse follows it, mad.] “There it goes.”


[Later, there's a giant light-up crown on Vanzilla. Leni, Luna, Lynn and Lola are admiring it while Lori wears a cape and crown.]
Luna: “that's so rad, dude.”
Lola: “I need one of those for my room.”
Lori: “Tada! You are looking at Royal Rides' newest shuttle driver. Check this out.” [Takes out an intercom.]🎵 We thank you for your loyalty, we'll treat you just like royalty. 🎵
[Most of Lori's present sisters aren't amused.]
Luna: “Kosh, off-key.”
Leni: “So perfesh.”
Lori: [Gestures to her GPS unit.] “And this, will track all the money I'll be making towards my new car.”
Shuttle App: “Customer pickup at the Royal Woods Mall.”
Lori: [Gleeful] “My very first customer.”
[Hops in the van and takes off while her sisters wave.]
Leni: “Okay bye.”
Lynn Sr.: [Hurries out] “Where's Vanzilla? I got band practice with K-Dawg.”
Lynn: “I got you, Pops.”
[Lynn Jr. gives her dad a pony ride to his practice.]


[At the mall, Scoots is waiting for her royal ride, rather distant from any exit doors. Lori pulls up.]
Lori: “Hey, Scoots.” [A pudding machine is thrown into the van.] “Oops, in sec.” [Opens the back door, Scoots tosses two wooden planks to use as a ramp for her scooter. Lori takes out her intercom.]🎵 We thank you for your loyalty- 🎵
Scoots: “I don't got time for your nursery rhymes, step on it blondie!.” [Lori is confused but takes off anyway. Suddenly a siren and flashing lights are heard.] “We got the fuzz on us, lose him!”
Lori: “Please tell me you bought that pudding machine.”
Scoots: “Just drive!”
[Lori does. She drops off Scoots and gets another pickup. Which is Luan and her clown troop, who laugh a lot.]
Luan: “Step on it, you nose we got a gig.”
[They all honk their noses and continue laughing. Suddenly, Lori gets another notification.]
Shuttle App: “Customer pickup at the Royal Woods Cemetery.”
Lori: [Cringes] “The cemetery? Well, more money toward my new car I guess.” [To the clowns] “Oh, don't worry, I'll drop you guys at your party gig after.”
[At the cemetery, a number of coffins are strapped to Vanzilla and she takes off. The Mortician's Club mingles with the clown troop.]
Dinky: [To Persephone] “Hi, I'm Dinky.” [Offers a handshake]
Persephone: “Greetings, Dinky.”
[Persephone returns the shake and gets joy buzzed. Dinky laughs, until Persephone hisses at him. In the back, another clown makes a funny face at Dante, who dawns a mask which scares the clown.]
Lori: “Come on, guys, just try to get along, it's a short ride.”
[Lori notices something in the shotgun.]
Boris: [Sweaty and shivering] “Clowns terrify Boris.”
[Someone honks and Boris screams. Lori eventually drops everyone off, then gets another pickup at the airport. Lori pulls up to Liam and his meemaw.]
Lori: “Hi, Liam. Hi, Liam's meemaw. Do you guys have any luggage?”
Liam: “Nope, but Virginia, Clarence and Carol Anne sure do.” [Behind them are some farm animals with luggage. Lori opens the van.] “Okay, everybody in, teeth and talons to yourselves.”
[Lori closes the van and takes off. Along the way, Clarence bites off some of her hair.]
Lori: “Dah! Turkey!”
Liam: “Oh, don't mind Clarence, he's just sad vacation's over.”
[Lori continues driving, slightly apprehensive, but manages to take them home.]


[Eventually, Lori returns home too.]
Leni: “Hey, how did your first day go? Did you rake it in?”
Lori: “I don't know, let's see.” [Lori presses an icon on her GPS, which proudly shows her the number thirty.] “Thirty dollars? Royal Rides must take a huge cut of my earnings.”
Leni: “At this rate, it'll take you millions of years to save enough money. I think. I'd have to have Lisa check my math.”
[Just then, another girl drives past in the same model Lori wants.]
Lori: [Wipes the drool off her face.] “No, I've got to have that car now.” [Gets an idea] “I know, I'm just going to have to pick up a few more jobs.”


[Vanzilla now has two more signs on its roof. Leni, Lincoln and Lana are amazed by them.]
Lincoln: “Hey, what's all that stuff?”
Lori: “Well, in addition to being a shuttle driver, I'm also delivering food and doing mobile babysitting.”
Leni: [Gasps] “You get to babysit people's phones? Fun.”
Lori: “No, Leni, you babysit kids, in the car.”
Food Delivery App: “Food pickup at Burpin' Burger.”
Lori: “Time for my first food delivery. Wish me luck.” [Hops in Vanzilla and takes off.]
Leni: “Bye Lori. See you later.”
Lana: “See you later.”
Lynn Sr.: [Rushes out] “Where's Vanzilla?” [Coughs] “I need baking powder.” [Explosion] “And a fire extinguisher!”
Lola: [Inside] “On it.”
[Drives her jeep out and takes her dad where he needs to go.]


[At the Burpin' Burger, Lori collects the order.]
Mobile Babysitting App: “Babysitter needed, at Charles Street and Oakers Drive.”
[At the address]
Lori: [Waves offsceen] “Have a great time at the zombie escape room Mr. & Mrs. Fox, I'll drop the kids off later. Okay, I just need to deliver the burger then…” [There's a ruckus above. Lori looks and sees the Fox quints climbing on her signs.] “Guys! Get down from there!”
[Inside the van, Lynn, Maya, and Paula are waiting to be taken to their game, and the Fox quints climb in and attack them.]
Lynn: “Lori, hurry up! What are we paying you for?!”
[Continues getting attacked. Lori sighs.]
Food Delivery App: “Food pickup at Gus' Games and Grub.” [Lori accepts the job] “Let's go.”
Lynn: [Irate] “Wait, you're getting that? What about us?”
Lori: “Don't worry, I'll drop you guys off after. It'll be super quick.”
Lynn: “It better be, I need to get at least two hours of bicep curls before the game. Gotta get these babies in prime condition.”
[They both yelp when one of the quints presses his face against the driver's side window. Lori buckles him in, gets the pizzas, and delivers them to the address.]
Man: “Ah, finally! I got a house full of hangry party guests to feed.” [Opens the top box] “Hey! Half of these pizzas are gone! Your boss is gonna hear about this!”
[Lori looks at Vanzilla, inside one of the quints smashes a pizza slice in the window.]
Lori: “I am so sorry. I'll make sure you get a full refund.”
Lynn: [Inside the van] “What the heck? There's a turkey in here.”
[She, Margo, Maya, and Paula run out and Clarence chases them. Later, at the junkyard, Flip gets picked up by Lori.]
Flip: [Sees Lori] “Oh great, you're my driver, I seem to recall you running me over once.” [Lori is about to start the car.] “Hey, don't forget my goods.”
[There's a pile of junk next to the van.]
Lori: “Seriously Flip?”
Flip: “You want a tip, you gotta earn it.” [Lori growls. She puts all the junk into Vanzilla and drives off, then immediately hits a bump and all the junk falls out.] “Holy nachos. You can kiss your five stars goodbye.” [Lets one rip] “And your upholstery.”
[The Fox quints gag at the foul stench. Later there are four signs on Vanzilla's roof as well as numerous people inside waiting to get to where they need to be, and a pile of food that people are waiting to be delivered. Lori is giving Mrs. Gurdle a pedicure.]
Mrs. Gurdle: “I'm so glad that you're doing mobile mani-pedis now. So convenient.”
[Her fingers have alien symbols painted o them.]
Seymour: “Not for us. How longs this gonna take?”
Lori: “And done. Okay, now hold your feet by the vent.”
[Mrs. Gurdle does so. Lori takes off, but she hits a bump and all the nail polish falls in Mrs. Gurdle's lap. More shuttling, food delivery, and babysitting jobs. At Royal Woods Elementary, Cheryl is waiting outside, as Vanzilla pulls up. Lori runs out and gives Cheryl a random baby.]
Cheryl: “Uh, well, I ordered a gravy and cornbread poke bowl. But you're just cute as a button.”
[Lori returns and makes the swap. Later, she pulls up in front of a house, but the van is packed with people.]
Lori: [In the intercom]🎵 We thank you for your loyalty, we'll treat you just like ro- 🎵 Ow!”
[Someone throws a rattle at her. Sully and two other punk kids walk up to the door.]
Punk Girl: “Hmm. No sign, this punk club must be super underground.”
[A woman opens the door, the three walk towards her but she stops them.]
Woman: [Confused] “What? Who are you? Where are my children?”
[They're at the punk club.]
Bouncer: “You guys got ID?” [The woman's son gives the bouncer a lollipop.] “Right this way.”
[He opens the door and the kids just look at each other.]


[Back at the Loud house.]
Leni: “Lori what's wrong?”
Lori: “I was literally fired from every one of my new jobs. And the worst part is after all of that hard work I only have five hundred dollars to show for it.” [Sighs] “Now there's no way I'll be able to buy my dream car.” [Sighs again] “Maybe I should have been more realistic.”
Leni: [Puts an arm around Lori.] “Well, five hundred dollars isn't nothing, you could buy half a car. Or take the bus five times, I think, I'd have to have Lisa check my math.”
[Outside, they hear Mr. Grouse inflating the tire on his old car. They get an idea.]


[In Mr. Grouse's driveway, the girls are buying Mr. Grouse's car.]
Mr. Grouse: “Well here she is.”
[Removes the cover. They all cough from the dust, but then Lori and Leni gasp at how beautiful the car underneath actually is.]
Lori: "Mr. Grouse, this literally has so much cute potential."
Mr. Grouse: "Well, don't look so surprised. How do you think I got Mrs. G to go out with me back in the day?” [Clicks tongue]
Leni: "O, M, gosh, I thought of a name for your car. She's totally, Eliza."
Lori: [Squeals] "Love it. Do you think Lana would fix it up for me?"
Lana: [Comes out from under the car.] “A three-sixty cubic inch V8, two-hundred and twenty-five horses with four on the floor.” [Fixes her coveralls] “Oh yeah, I can have this baby running in no time.” [A possum pops out of the car.] “Ooh, a possum, I'll take that as payment.” [Goes after it]
Mr. Grouse: “Hey Loud, you want the car or what? I'm missing my judge shows for this.”
Lori: “How much are you asking for it?”
Mr. Grouse: “I'll take seven-hundred and fifty dollars. But I ain't going any lower than that.”
Lori: [Sighs] “All I have is five hundred.”
Mr. Grouse: [Sees the cash] “Hmm. Maybe we can work something out.”


[The new and improved car drives through Royal Woods and Lori loves it. In the back, Mr. Grouse is enjoying an ice-cream.]
Lori: “So, where would you like me to drive you now Mr. Grouse?”
Mr. Grouse: “Ah, take me to the barbershop, I need to get my stache trimmed, then we'll head up the bingo hall and after that the bowling alley.” [Licks the ice-cream] “Nothing like having a personal driver.” [They hit a bump and Mr. Grouse gets ice-cream on his nose.] “Where's you learn how to drive? The internet? And crank up the AC, sweatin' like a bull in Orlando here, and do something about that sun it's right in my eyes. How much longer? I need to use the little Grouse's room.”
Lori: [Turns up the music] "It's just till the end of the summer."
[They drive off into the sunset.]

v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.