The following is a transcript for the episode "Cuff Break."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The Loud house: Lincoln, Lynn, Lucy, Lisa, and the twins are waiting for the school bus to arrive. Lincoln is practicing his magic tricks.] Lincoln:[shuffles a deck of cards] "This next trick is not for the faint of heart. What you're about to see may be shocking." Lisa:[groans and facepalms in boredom] "Just let us wait for the bus in peace." [Lincoln shuffles his cards, snaps his fingers, and in a puff of smoke, they're replaced with a bunch of flowers. He blows at them, and some of the petals fly into Lucy's face.] Lucy:[unamused] "Sigh." [The camera pans to Lisa, and from behind her, Lincoln pulls two pennies out from her ears, to her shock. He throws them into the air and catches them in his eyes, annoying her.] Lincoln: "Do your eyes deceive you? Or is the very fabric of reality shattering around you?" [He takes off his hat and waves his magic wand over it. Out from it pops Lola's (incorrect) math homework.] [The camera pans to the twins, who are stunned. Lola reaches into her backpack, gasps at her homework not being there, and gets annoyed.] Lola: "Give me back my homework!" [snatches it] "Do you have to be so much so early?" Lincoln:[places his hat on] "And for my final trick..." [poses dramatically] "I, Lincoln the Magnificent, will need a volunteer." [But then he notices that his sisters have moved to the tree, not interested in Lincoln's magic, and crickets chirp. Lincoln sighs, and then he notices Mr. Grouse working in his garden. He appears in a puff of smoke in front of him, startling him.] "How about you, good sir? A little magic trick?" Mr. Grouse:[sighs and stands up] "Alright, as long as the next trick is you disappearing." Lincoln: "Let's hear it for our volunteer!" [He glances at his sisters, who are still ignoring him.] "Mr. G, may I please see your arm?" Mr. Grouse: "Oh, boy." [He gives Lincoln his arm, and then Lincoln handcuffs their arms together. Then he covers their cuffed arms with a cloth.] Lincoln: "Now, when I remove this cloth, these magical handcuffs will be magically unlocked, and your hands will be free to applaud." Mr. Grouse:[unamused] "Eh, don't count on it." [Lincoln takes out his wand and waves it over the cloth, tapping it. Then he removes it...] Lincoln: "Ta-dah!" [But he and Mr. Grouse are still cuffed together, to his confusion.] "Huh? This never happens to the Amazing Brailster when he does it." Mr. Grouse: "Well, this has been underwhelming. Just use your key, Loud." Lincoln: "Ugh, a good magician doesn't have keys. But if I did, they fell in the toilet." [He grins sheepishly, and Mr. Grouse growls in fury at being handcuffed to Lincoln.] "Let me call the Brailster. He's my magician mentor. He'll know what to do." [He calls the Amazing Brailster.] Amazing Brailster's voicemail:"Sorcerous salutations!" [Lincoln is about to speak, but is cut off.] "I can't come to the phone right now, as I'm somewhere between reality and illusion!" [Lincoln gasps in awe...] "Or power-washing my dove cages." [Lincoln frowns.] Mr. Grouse:[angrily muttering] "Why, you..." Lincoln: "Hey, this is your assistant, Lincoln. Had a little snafu with the magic cuffs. Hit me back at your leis'." [Mr. Grouse growls at him.] "Or right away would be great." [hangs up] "Don't worry, he'll get back to us." [He grins sheepishly, but then the school bus passes them. It stops outside Lincoln's house, and his sisters get on. Mr. Grouse glares in annoyance at Lincoln.] "But in the meantime, I can't be late to school, so, would you mind..." [He chuckles nervously and points back toward the bus, and Mr. Grouse growls at having to go to school with Lincoln.] [Lincoln and Mr. Grouse board the bus, to the other students' surprise.] Mr. Grouse: "Can't believe I'm missing my game shows for this!" [Lincoln sits down, but Mr. Grouse angrily sits next to him, squishing Lincoln's face against the window. Stella peers out from the seat behind them nervously.] Stella: "Ahh, another magic snafu?" Mr. Grouse: "'Another?!' You mean this nonsense has happened before?!" Zach: "Oh, sure." [He is in front of them.] "Just last week, Lincoln messed up his vanishing quarter trick on me! The nurse eventually got it out, though." [cringes] Mr. Grouse: "Out of--where?" [Just then, a gum spitball hits his cheek. He looks back and sees it came from Taylor, who laughs deviously. She shoots another spitball, and gum covers Mr. Grouse's face. It falls from his eyes, and he glares at Lincoln, growling in annoyance.] Lincoln:[nervously] "Yep, I'll try the Brailster again."
[Royal Woods Middle School: Lincoln and Mr. Grouse enter Mr. Bolhofner's classroom in shame. Mr. Bolhofner is reading a book titled How to Make Children Respect You.] Mr. Bolhofner:[without looking up] "Another magic snafu, Loud? I'll have Nurse Noelle on standby." [Lincoln takes his seat, but Mr. Grouse struggles to squeeze into the desk next to him.] Mr. Grouse: "Yeah, right. I'm not fitting in that." Mr. Bolhofner: "New kid, sit down. If you're here, you're learning." Mr. Grouse: "But I--" [Mr. Bolhofner glares at him, ripping his book in half. Mr. Grouse is frightened and reluctantly sits in his chair.] Mr. Bolhofner:[He starts drawing on the chalkboard, which has "10 x 20" written on it.] "So, you're stranded on a desert island that's ten feet by twenty feet. How long until you resort to eating your own foot?" [His picture is a person sitting on a square island with a single palm tree, and written below it is "foot = x/y".] "New kid, come up and solve it." Mr. Grouse: "But I--" [Mr. Bolhofner scratches the chalkboard and gives another menacing glare, scaring Mr. Grouse. He struggles to stand up, but he tips over and falls onto the student next to him. This knocks over the other students--even Chandler--like dominoes, to Mr. Bolhofner's confusion. As the smoke clears, the students groan.] Girl Student: "Oh, my head." [Lincoln and Mr. Grouse poke out of the collapsed desks, groaning in pain.] Mr. Grouse:[clutches his head] "Oww..."
[The bell rings for gym class. Lincoln and his friends (plus Mr. Grouse) are facing off against Taylor and several other students for dodgeball. The whistle blows, and Stella throws a ball. Then Liam follows suit, followed by Rusty dodging another. Lincoln throws another dodgeball, and Mr. Grouse ducks as one more flies right over his head. As Lincoln stands up, Mr. Grouse tries to bite off the chain of the handcuffs.] Kara: "Alright, peacock formation!" Mr. Grouse: "'Pea-what', now?" [To his shock, Kara's friends line up behind her and spread out like a peacock's tail, with a peacock cry being heard.] Taylor:[offscreen] "Hey! The new kid is exposed!" Mr. Grouse:[stunned] "Huh?!" Taylor: "Get him!" [She and her teammates throw dodgeballs at Mr. Grouse. He gulps right before being hit in the stomach, then the face, breaking his glasses. A third dodgeball knocks him backward, and he leaves behind his glasses.]
[Back in Mr. Bolhofner's classroom, Lincoln and Mr. Grouse (with his glasses fixed) sit at their desks in despair. Mr. Grouse glances over to Hank's fish tank. He notices a goldfish swimming by him and eats it in one bite.] Mr. Grouse:[groans] "I've had enough of these cuffs!" [He stands up and walks over to the fish tank, and Lincoln is pulled after him. Mr. Grouse places his hand in the tank.] "Do your worst, fishy!" [Hank grins, but as the scene cuts to the school's hallway, a chomping noise is heard as Mr. Grouse yelps in pain. He runs through the hallway with Hank biting his thumb, dragging a dazed and injured Lincoln after him. Hank's jaws bite down as the scene transition.]
[Mr. Grouse's thumb is bandaged up, and he sits on the ground in annoyance as Lincoln tries to contact the Amazing Brailster again.] Mr. Grouse:[groans] "You hear anything back from that no-good magic fraud?" Lincoln: "Nope, still nothing from the Brailster. But it should be anytime now." Mr. Grouse:[He sighs as the rest of the Action News Team approaches them.] "Well, there's only one thing that picks me up when I'm feeling down." Kara:[gets in his face] "Staring at people until they feel uncomfortable?" [Mr. Grouse glares at her, as Kara is doing just that.] Mr. Grouse: "No. Cheeze puffs. Yeesh." [The screen pans to the vending machine, and Mr. Grouse and Lincoln approach it. Mr. Grouse pulls out a nickel.] "Eh, a nickel should cover it, right?" Rusty:[approaches] "Yeah, I think middle school's a little different than the 1800s, old dawg." [Lincoln and the other kids laugh.] Mr. Grouse: "Oh yeah, smart guy?" [tosses away the nickel] "Can any of you whippersnappers do this?" [shoos Rusty away] "Shoo!" [He taps on the vending machine glass, then he shakes his hips and knocks the vending machine. A package of cheeze puffs shakes loose and falls down the chute, followed by all the snacks in the machine. The kids gasp in awe, and Mr. Grouse grins.] "Yup, me and my crew used to run these halls." Clyde: "You and your crew?"
[Mr. Grouse brings them to the alumni wall, and he points at a picture of his middle school self sitting on the bleachers alongside students resembling Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Stella, and Kara.] Mr. Grouse: "And that one there is me—they called me Doo-Wop—and my buddies Corky," [points at the Lincoln lookalike] "Kitty," [points at the Kara lookalike] "Toughy," [points at the Zach lookalike] "Knuckles," [points at the Rusty lookalike] "Tater," [points at the Clyde lookalike] "and Donna." [points at the Stella lookalike] "Yeah, she hated nicknames." Stella, Zach, Liam, Clyde, Rusty, and Kara: "Whoa!" Rusty: "I didn't know you went here." Stella: "Cool!" Liam: "A fellow Kangaroo!" Mr. Grouse: "Oh man, we used to have so much fun here back in the day." Lincoln: "Hey, do you know any other cool secrets around here?" [lifts their cuffed arms] "While we're stuck like this, we may as well make the best of it!" Mr. Grouse: "Well, there is the super flush." [Lincoln's eyes widen.]
[Inside the boys' bathroom, Lincoln and Mr. Grouse stand by one of the stalls. Lincoln speaks into a walkie-talkie.] Lincoln: "Is everyone in position?" [The screen quadruple splits as Lincoln's friends speak up.] Kara: "Girls' room covered!" Zach: "Aye-aye, captain!" Stella: "Yeah!" Rusty: "I'm in the teachers' lounge!" Mr. Grouse: "Okay, on the count of three, we all flush at the same time!" [Lincoln has his finger on the lever, and he gives a thumbs-up.] "One...two...three! Flush!" [Lincoln and his friends flush their toilets, and water drains from one of the toilet bowls. Outside, the building begins shaking, and water gushes out from the front door and all the first-floor windows. The students yelp as they are all carried outside by the water. Kara and Zach are brought to the front of the school, followed by Rusty and Stella.] Zach:[spits out water] "That was, like, the best prank of all time!" [The other students cheer and run toward Mr. Grouse and Lincoln.] Students:[chanting] "Doo-Wop! Doo-Wop! Doo-Wop! Doo-Wop!" [Mr. Grouse smiles] Lincoln: "Alright, back off. Give Doo-Wop some space." [Mr. Grouse hears something and looks at the ground. He notices Lincoln's phone is buzzing, and the Amazing Brailster is calling him back.] Mr. Grouse: "Hey, is that Lincoln's phone?" [picks it up] "'The Amazing Brailster'." [thinks] "Eh, no harm in having a little more fun." [He chuckles and declines the call.] "Declined." [He places Lincoln's phone in Lincoln's pocket, and he walks over to him nonchalantly.] "Come on, Loud! We're just getting started!"
[Back inside, Meryl is leaving her office. Lincoln and Mr. Grouse tiptoe inside, and Mr. Grouse places a record player on her desk, then he speaks into her microphone.] Mr. Grouse: "Here's a little tune from the glory days!" [He puts the record on, and it plays classical music. As the record spins, the screen spins and transitions to Mr. Grouse dressed in a leather jacket, walking through the hallways with Lincoln. They give thumbs-ups to Girl Jordan, Andrew, and even Taylor, who returns the thumbs-up to Lincoln.]
[One student struggles to open her locker. Mr. Grouse knocks on it and steps away, and it opens. She looks back at him and gives him a thumbs-up, and Mr. Grouse salutes to her. Then he takes a comb and combs the single hair on his head. He twirls the comb and puts it away, flicking his collar up.]
♫ (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh) ♫ ♫ I just can't get you away ♫ ♫ Doo-Wop Doo-Wop ♫ ♫ (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh) ♫ ♫ I guess we're both here to stay ♫ ♫ Shoo-be-Doo ♫
[In Mr. Bolhofner's class, Chandler is kicking Lincoln's chair to his annoyance. Mr. Grouse looks confidently at Lincoln and counts down from three on his fingers, and Lincoln glances back at Chandler. As Chandler kicks Lincoln's chair again, his own desk wobbles to his surprise. Then it falls apart right under him, and Lincoln and several students laugh at him. Lincoln glances back at Mr. Grouse, who twirls a wrench, indicating he loosened the bolts on Chandler's desk.]
♫ (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh) ♫ ♫ Everywhere I go, you run into me ♫ ♫ Ba-Do-Ba-Dee ♫ ♫ (Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh-Oh) ♫ ♫ I can't get you out of my general vicinity ♫
[Just then, a letter from the Amazing Brailster flies in through the window. While Lincoln is laughing, Mr. Grouse notices it. Alarmed, Mr. Grouse catches the letter and tosses it into Hank's fish tank, and he proceeds to devour it.]
♫ Ba-Jee-Bee-Da-Ba-Do ♫ ♫ You're everywhere I go ♫ ♫ Ba-Ja-Ba-Ja-Ba-Jee ♫ ♫ And it's plain to see that ♫ ♫ (Doo-Bee-Dee-Dee) ♫ ♫ Shabba-Labba-Ding-Dong-A-Shoobee-Dee-Doo, I'm stuck with you ♫
[Mr. Grouse wipes his forehead in relief. Then a football is thrown as the scene transitions, and Mr. Grouse catches it. He and Lincoln run across the football field, jumping over a down player and landing in the endzone, scoring a touchdown. Mr. Grouse spikes the ball, and the crowd cheers, including Lincoln's friends. But then a dove flies up while Lincoln is bowing, angrily carrying another letter from the Amazing Brailster. Mr. Grouse tries to shoo it away, and it does while Lincoln isn't looking. Then he shoves away three more with more letters, but one flies into his face.
♫ Oh-Oh-Oh, I'm stuck with you ♫ ♫ Oh-Oh-Oh, I'm stuck with you ♫ ♫ Oh-Oh-Oh, I'm stuck with you ♫
Mr. Grouse:[He opens the letter and reads it.] "'Lincoln, sorry I missed you. I'm leaving for my timeshare in Tampa. Be back in a month. Signed, the Amazing Brailster'." [alarmed] "WHAT?! A whole ding-dang month?!" [tosses it away] "Lincoln! W-we gotta get to the airport, now!" Lincoln:[puzzled] "What? Why?" Mr. Grouse:[grabs him] "No time to explain!" [He runs off, carrying Lincoln.]
[They arrive at the airport. Mr. Grouse rushes into the lobby, pushing past people and jumping over them, performing a midair flip. But as he lands, he gasps. Just outside the gate for Tampa, the Amazing Brailster's airplane takes off. They run up to the window, too late.] Mr. Grouse: "Aww, no, we're too late!" Lincoln:[confused] "Too late for what? Mr. Grouse, what is going on?" Mr. Grouse:[He takes off his hat, ashamed.] "Oh, I messed up big time, Linc. I've been blocking the Brailster's messages all day, and now he's on the 4:10 to Tampa!" [sits down] "We're gonna be stuck like this for a month now!" Lincoln:[stunned] "What?! Why would you block his messages? I thought you wanted to get out of these handcuffs, like, as soon as possible." Mr. Grouse: "Well, I did, at first. But then I started having fun with you guys. I felt like a kid again! So I thought, what's the harm in spending a few more hours stuck together?" [Lincoln smiles] "But a month, oh, that's another story. I'm really sorry, kid." [Suddenly, there's a glow coming from nearby, and the crowd gasps. In a puff of smoke, the Amazing Brailster appears, and the audience applauds.] Woman: "Wow!" Mr. Grouse:[shocked] "You?! But I saw your plane take off!" Amazing Brailster: "Maybe that was just an illusion!" [gets dejected] "Or maybe they wouldn't let me fly with sixteen doves." [He snaps his fingers, and his suitcases appear beside him, along with his doves. He teleports to the handcuffs, observing them.] "So this is your magic snafu?" [Lincoln nods in shame.] "Well, at least it's not a quarter situation again." [He pulls a cloth out from his sleeve, and covers the handcuffs with it.] "Listen to me, the Amazing Brailster. This magic wand will not failster!" [He waves his magic wand, and the word "Presto" appears against a cloud of smoke. As he removes the cloth, the handcuffs have been removed from Lincoln and Mr. Grouse's wrists.] Lincoln:[awestruck] "Whoa!" Mr. Grouse:[amazed] "Wow, how'd you do that?" Amazing Brailster:[holds up the handcuffs] "Release button on the side." [The camera zooms in on a button on the handcuffs.] "It's in the magicians' manual." [The Amazing Brailster and Mr. Grouse glare at Lincoln, who sheepishly grins at the realization of how easily the whole ordeal could have been avoided.] Lincoln: "A good magician doesn't need a manual. But, if I did have one, it fell in the toilet." [chuckles sheepishly] Amazing Brailster: "Well, I'd better be off." [He snaps his fingers, and the word "Vacay" appears before a puff of smoke. As it fades, his suit has been replaced by summer clothes.] "The Tampa tides wait for no one!" [He whistles, and four of his doves lift him by his arms and feet, flying him away. Lincoln and Mr. Grouse stare.] Mr. Grouse: "Well, I guess I'd better get going. And, sorry again, Lincoln." [He walks off, and Lincoln feels sorry for him.] Lincoln: "Doo-Wop, wait! You know, I was about to head back and hang out with my friends, if you wanted to join us." Mr. Grouse: "Really? You mean it?" Lincoln: "Yeah! Super flush, free snacks, a choreographed doo-wop song? You're a fun guy!" Mr. Grouse: "Aww, thanks, Lincoln!" [reaches into his pocket] "I do have a couple of quarters burning a hole in my pocket. Eh, let's go to Gus' and grab us some root beer floats!" Lincoln: "Or I could show you my famous vanishing quarter trick." [Mr. Grouse glares at Lincoln, knowing where that'd go.] "Root beer floats it is." [Mr. Grouse chuckles, and they head off, snapping their fingers.]
♫ Shabba-Labba-Ding-Dong-A-Shoobee-Dee-Doo, I'm stuck with you ♫
[As they walk off, the Amazing Brailster is flown by his doves outside, and the screen irises out on him to end the episode.]
