The following is a transcript for the episode "Don't You Fore-get About Me".
[Lori and Leni are taking a magazine quiz at the Loud house.]
Lori: "Okay, you answered A for nine questions, which means... the color of your aura is teal."
Leni: "Oh, it so is, look at my dress."
[Lynn Sr. comes in with the mail.]
Lynn Sr.: "Hey yo! Mail call people. Lana, Mud of the Month Club." [Tosses her a muddy package, which she jumps up and catches in her mouth.] "Nice grab. Charles, Bone of the Month Club." [Charles jumps and catches his package in his mouth.] "Lisa, Bacteria of the Month Club." [Lisa jumps to catch her package, but it hits her in the head.] "Ooh, Lori, something from Fairway University."
Lori: [Reads her letter] "Oh, this says the deadline to officially enroll for fall semester is... next week."
Luna: "Why the bum look dude? Thought you were psyched to go to Fairway?"
Lori: "I am, I think, it's just, it's such a big decision and I'm not totally sure it's the right school for me."
Rita: "I know what might help you decide. Why don't we visit the campus?"
Lynn Sr.: "Great idea hon, we could make a day of it."
[The others agree.]
Lincoln: "Ooh, Ronnie Anne said her Tío Carlos has been guest lecturing there, maybe she can meet up with us." [Calls her]
Lola: "I'm sure you'll decide to go to Fairway Lori, moving away from this podunk town is my dream."
[The other girls are excited for Lori, except for Leni who is rather bummed out. She knocks on Luna & Luan's bedroom.]
Leni: "Hey, do you have a sec? I usually go to Lori for advice but this is about her so..." [Leni sits next to the bed and sighs.] "I'm really worried about Lori going to Fairway. How am I supposed to survive without her?" [Moment of silence and Leni groans at what is revealed to be Mr. Coconuts.] "You're such a chatterbox with Luan, but the one time I need you you're silent?" [Mr. Coconuts still doesn't say anything.] "Fine! I'll talk to someone else." [Leni leaves. Later, she lays in the grass with someone else.] "I mean, Lori and I do like, everything together, we've been BFFs since before I was even born." [Sighs] "If there's no Lori, who am I going to take magazine quizzes with? Or gossip with? What should I do?" [Leni is speaking to Lily, who is playing with miniature dinosaurs, she makes grr sounds with one and makes them both fight each other. Leni sits up.] "You think I should fight Lori?" [Lily shakes her head, and turns over a rock, revealing a bunch of worms and bugs.] "Ew, gross." [Gasps] "Oh, I get it, I just need to show Lori, that Fairway is actually terrible, and this campus tour is the perfect chance to do it, Lily, you're a genius."
[Lily looks at the audience, agreeing with Leni.]
[Later, at Fairway University, the Louds are looking around, when a familiar parrot swoops down at them.]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Reunited and it feels so good."
[Carlos and Ronnie Anne approach the Louds.]
Lincoln: "Hey guys, I didn't know Sergio was coming."
Carlos: "Neither did we."
Sergio: "I'm a stowaway."
Ronnie Anne: [to Lori] "Bobby's sorry he couldn't make it, he's kind of stuck at the mercado." [Shows Lori a photo on her phone.]
Lori: "Awe, Boo-Boo Bear."
[The photo is of Bobby, having knocked over the glue shelf and being stuck to the floor.]
Carlos: "Great seeing you Louds, I have to get to my guest lecture on the maturation of Bermuda grass, and its utility in creating an eco-friendly golf course. I'm in Hall B if anyone wants to see it."
[No one, not even Ronnie Anne, is interested. Carlos shrugs and goes. Lynn Sr. sees something that interests him.]
Lynn Sr.: "Oh, oh, who wants to check out the campus store?"
[Many of the girls are interested.]
Lincoln: [Holding a video camera] "Have fun, Ronnie Anne and I are going to go make skate videos."
[The two walk off, leaving Lori, Rita, Leni and Lily. A student approaches them.]
Raj: "Hi, welcome to Fairway University, I'm your tour guide Raj, we'll be puttering around the campus together." [Lori and Rita chuckle.] "Now, which one of you's the famous Lori Loud?" [Lori raises her hand, and Raj offers to shake.] "I heard a lot about you, Coach Niblick says you're the most promising golfer he's seen in a long time." [Lori is flattered] "Now, are you ready for the tour?" [Everyone follows Raj] "...and this to out left is Wedge Hall."
[Leni notices the other students and gasps.]
Leni: "O, M, gosh, Lori, they make you wear a uniform here, and it's so ugly."
Lori: "Um, Leni, I'm literally wearing the exact same outfit."
[This is correct.]
Leni: [Awkwardly laughs] "Yeah."
Raj: "Oh, that's not a uniform, it's just what the students like to wear."
Lori: "Wow, I already fit in so well."
[Later, Raj shows them the greens.]
Raj: "Fairway is a golfers dream, we've got an eighteen-hole course, par seventy-two, and three putting greens."
Leni: [Looks at the pond.] "Ew, Lori, the swimming pool here is so gross."
Lori: "Leni, that's not a pool, that's a water hazard."
[Just then, Sergio and some ducks jump in.]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Love to party."
Raj: "We do have a bird problem, but we like to think they help us get birdies, on the holes."
Lori: [Snort laughs] "That is aesthetically the funniest thing I ever heard."
[Leni groans as they continue. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne skates up, Lincoln running after her, panting.]
Ronnie Anne: [Seeing the water hazard] "Woah, perfect, start filming." [Ronnie Anne skates over a rock into a kickflip, flies over Sergio's party, and skids the rest of the way across the pond.] "Whoohoo! Did you get it?"
Lincoln: [Sinks into the pond, but gets up.] "Got it!"
[A frog hops out of his shirt.]
[Next, Raj is showing them Par Hall.]
Raj: "This is our freshman hall," [They enter the bathroom] "You'll be sharing this bathroom with nine other women on the floor."
Leni: [Gasps] "Lori, that would be so hard, sharing one bathroom, with nine other people, who could even?"
Lori: "Leni, you do realize our family of thirteen shares one bathroom, right?" [Leni counts on her fingers, and Lori gasps when she sees something.] "Three sinks? Woah, this bathroom is a serious upgrade for me."
[Leni sighs. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne skates down the hall, Lincoln following her, still filming. Ronnie Anne sees some movers bringing a sofa into the hall, she hippie jumps over it, but her friend runs right into it.]
Lincoln: "Got it."
[Falls to the floor.]
[In the campus store, Lynn Sr. tries on a Fairway hat in front of Lola.]
Lynn Sr.: "Eh?" [Lola gives a thumbs down.] "Ah, come on Lola, you can't hate all of these."
Lola: "Maybe your head just isn't the right shape for hats." [Looks around] "How about a Fairway pencil?"
[Offers him one, and he puts it over his ear.]
Lynn Sr.: "Eh?"
Lynn Sr.: "Yes."
[Just then, Raj brings Lori, Rita, Leni and Lily into the store.]
Raj: "And here we've got a great selection of tees," [points to some t-shirts] "tees," [golf tees] "and teas." [the beverage]
[Lori and Rita laugh.]
Lori: "So funny."
[Leni takes Lily aside.]
Leni: "This day hasn't gone at all like I thought it would," [sits on a lawn chair.] "Lori wants to go to Fairway more than ever." [Leni starts to cry, Lily takes a sweater off a mannequin and offers it to Leni to wipe her eyes. The sweater and the mannequin give Leni an idea, she gasps.] "But what if Fairway didn't want Lori to go to it?"
[She and Lily like the idea. Leni takes the outfit off the mannequin, brushes her hair up, and flattens the top with a beachball.]
[Later, Leni walks into the cafeteria, disguised as Lori. She approaches the barista.]
Leni: "Hi, can I, Lori Loud, have a glass for a free cup of water?"
[Gives it to her. Leni walks over to the soda fountain and takes the lemonade.]
Leni: "Look at me, stealing lemonade, Lori Loud is such a rule breaker."
Cashier: "Oh, actually, all the fountain drinks in the cafeteria are free."
[At a table, another student finishes his lemonade and cheers. Leni sighs and puts the drink down, and sees the muffin basket.]
Leni: [Takes an armload of muffins] "Woah, looks like Lori Loud is stealing these banana nut muffins."
Leni: "Oh-no, am I in trouble? You should probably call the campus police."
Cashier: [Giggles] "No, I just wanted to tell you that it's pastry palooza week, the muffins are free. Do you want a to-go box?" [Offers her one]
Leni: [Puts the muffins in it] "Forget it, I lost my appetite." [Walks off] "What do I have to do to mess up Lori's reputation?" [She sees someone walk by, eating muffins.] "Coach Nibbles, the guy who gave Lori her scholarship, he could keep Lori from coming here next year."
[Leni follows him. Ronnie Anne skates over the table, the students applaud her, Lincoln follows her, still filming, but slips over a plate of spaghetti and falls, the students applaud him too.]
[Out on the putting green, Coach Niblick sees someone approaching.]
Coach Niblick: "Is that Lori Loud?"
Leni: "Why yes, it is her, I mean she, uh, I mean, I'm Lori Loud."
Coach Niblick: [Offers her a club] "Why don't you take the first swing?"
[Leni takes the club and goes onto the green.]
Leni: "With pleasure." [Leni swings the club and the ball goes straight into the water trap.] "Whoo! I mean, oh-no."
[Out of nowhere, a frog pops out of the water and burps the ball onto the hole.]
Coach Niblick: "You just got a hole in one Lori." [Leni awkwardly laughs. Later, she takes another shot, which bounces off two trees, sets off the alarm on a golf cart, Ronnie Anne gasps and pushes Lincoln over, using her skateboard to block the incoming golf ball, which lands in the hole. Coach Niblick gasps.] "That was the most incredible hole in one I've ever seen, you will be a credit to our fine institution."
[Leni laughs again, and groans. Later, Leni is preparing for another shot.]
Leni: "Okay, I can't risk getting another hole in one."
[Leni lets herself spin out of control on the swing.]
Coach Niblick: "Keep your eye on the ball."
[Leni lets the club fly out of her hands.]
Coach Niblick: [Gets another club] "Your hands must be sweaty from the excitement of those hole in ones." [Leni takes the club and just throws it.] "Uh, Lori, are you feeling well?"
Leni: "I think I suddenly have... amnesia, I don't remember how to golf."
Coach Niblick: "Uh, are you sure? Here take this," [Gives Leni a golf ball.] "perhaps it'll jog your memory." [Leni takes the ball and tries to eat it.] "Oh, no, that's not food."
[Takes the ball out of Leni's mouth.]
Leni: "Actually," [Picks up the club] "I don't recognize any of this stuff. Wow, if I can't do golf, maybe I shouldn't come to golf school."
Coach Niblick: "Are you certain?" [Leni nods] "Well then I'll have to make the call to offer your scholarship to another student. Oh, I was really rooting for you, Lori."
[Coach Niblick walks off, disappointed, and Leni is pleased.]
[In the parking lot, the Loud girls are loading onto the van, and Ronnie Anne is looking at the footage Lincoln shot.]
Ronnie Anne: "Wow Lincoln, this footage is amazing." [Turns to face the boy covered in spaghetti.] "Sorry if you got a little banged up."
Lincoln: "It was worth it."
[Leni, with her regular attire on, skips to the van.]
Lori: "Oh, Leni," [excitedly runs up to her] "looks what I found in the bookstore." [Holds up sixteen and a half magazine.] "I was thinking, we can set up a time to chat on the phone every night, so we can still do our magazine quizzes together."
Leni: "Won't you be too busy for that?"
Lori: [Laughs] "No of course not. And I talked Mom into getting us an unlimited texting plan, so we can still have nonstop gossip sessions."
Leni: [Feeling guilty] "Oh, cool."
Lori: [Puts a hand on Leni's shoulder.] "Leni, is everything okay?"
Leni: [Sighs] "I messed up, I pretended to be you and I lost your golf scholarship."
[Yells to the skies, where Sergio flies overhead.]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Drama."
Lori: [Angry] "Why would you do that? You know how important that scholarship is to me."
Leni: "I do, but I was worried that if you went to Fairway, we wouldn't be BFFs anymore."
Lori: "Leni, I need you just as much as you need me, we'll always be close, I promise."
Leni: [Sighs] "I totally blew it, Fairway is the perfect place for you. Don't worry, I'm getting your scholarship back." [Goes to Lynn Sr.] "Dad, I need to run back to campus."
Lynn Sr.: "Ho ho, no can do kiddo, we were supposed to be on the road ten minutes ago."
Leni: "But, I need to uh..."
Lori: "Go buy you a 'Fairway, you Dad' hat, I totally forgot to get you one."
Lynn Sr.: [Claps] "Oh, goody, hurry," [whispers] "just don't tell Lola."
[Lori and Leni run up to a student.]
Leni: "Do you know where Coach Nibbles is?"
Student: "Uh, Niblick? He just went to his office to make a phone call, he said it was urgent."
[Lori and Leni gasp.]
Lori: "We have to stop him."
Leni: [Sees a golf cart] "Don't worry, I got this."
[The girls get in the cart, and Leni drives off, backwards.]
Lori: "Ah! Wrong way!"
[They drive backwards through campus. In his office, Coach Niblick is about to make the phone call, when the girls burst in.]
[Leni throws the phone out the window, sees Coach still has the receiver and cuts the cord.]
Coach Niblick: [Flabbergasted] "What is the meaning of this!?"
Leni: "Coach Nibbles, I have something to confess, the person who you saw playing golf earlier wasn't Lori."
Coach Niblick: "What?"
Leni: "It was me, her sister Leni, I was worried about Lori going away next year, so I dressed up like her and pretended to be awful so Fairway wouldn't want her." [Lori takes Leni's hand] "But, now I know that just because we'll far apart in distance doesn't mean we won't be close, I'm sorry for what I did. Can my sister still have her scholarship?"
Coach Niblick: [Thinks] "So, Lori, do you still know how to use this?"
[Holds up a club and tosses it to Lori.]
Lori: [Catches the club] "Fore sure."
[Lori covers her eyes, and sinks a hole in one on Coach Niblick's mini golf hole.]
Coach Niblick: "Well done."
Leni: "Go Lori!"
Coach Niblick: "We'll see you next fall, Loud." [To Leni] "Now, young lady, I don't blame you, when my sister was off to university I popped the tires on her car in the hopes it might stop her from leaving, but those years apart only made us closer. Hold on, I should give her a call.
[Picks up the receiver, only to remember that the line is still cut.]
Leni: [Nervously laughs] "Let me just."
[Lori and Leni look out the window and see the rest of the phone. Which Sergio rolls over in the golf cart.]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Party bus!"
[The girls nervously laugh again.]
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