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I've tried everything to get into this trophy case.
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The following is a transcript for the episode "Don't You Fore-get About Me".
Script
[Lori and Leni are taking a magazine quiz at the Loud house]
Lori: "Okay, you answered A for nine questions, which means... the color of your aura is teal."
Leni: "Oh, it so is, look at my dress."
[Lynn Sr. comes in with the mail]
Lynn Sr.: "Hey yo! Mail call people. Lana, Mud of the Month Club." [Tosses her a muddy package, which she jumps up and catches in her mouth] "Nice grab. Charles, Bone of the Month Club." [Charles jumps and catches his package in his mouth] "Lisa, Bacteria of the Month Club." [Lisa jumps to catch her package, but it hits her in the head] "Ooh, Lori, something from Fairway University."
Lori: [Reads her letter] "Oh, this says the deadline to officially enrol for fall semester is... next week."
Luna: "Why the bum look dude? Thought you were psyched to go to Fairway?"
Lori: "I am, I think, it's just, it's such a big decision and I'm not totally sure it's the right school for me."
Rita: "I know what might help you decide. Why don't we visit the campus?"
Lynn Sr.: "Great idea hon, we could make a day of it."
[The others agree]
Lincoln: "Ooh, Ronnie Anne said her Tío Carlos has been guest lecturing there, may she can meet up with us." [Calls her]
Lola: "I'm sure you'll decide to go to Fairway Lori, moving away from this podunk town is my dream."
[THe other girls are excited for Lori, except for Leni who is rather bummed out. She knocks on Luna & Luan's bedroom]
Leni: "Hey, do you have a sec? I usually go to Lori for advice but this is about her so..." [Leni sits next to the bed and sighs] "I'm really worried about Lori going to Fairway. How am I supposed to survive without her?" [Moment of silence and Leni groans at what is revealed to be Mr. Coconuts] "You're such a chatterbox with Luan, but the one time I need you you're silent?" [Mr. Coconuts still doesn't say anything] "Fine! I'll talk to someone else." [Leni leaves. Later, she lays in the grass with someone else] "I mean, Lori and I do like, everything together, we've been BFFs since before I was even born." [Sighs] "If there's no Lori, who am I going to take magazine quizzes with? Or gossip with? What should I do?" [Leni is speaking to Lily, who is playing with miniature dinosaurs, she makes grr sounds with one and makes them both fight each other. Leni sits up] "You think I should fight Lori?" [Lily shakes her head, and turns over a rock, revealing a bunch of worms and bugs] "Ew, gross." [Gasps] "Oh, I get it, I just need to show Lori, that Fairway is actually terrible, and this campus tour is the perfect chance to do it, Lily, you're a genius."
[Lily looks at the audience, agreeing with Leni]
[Later, at Fairway University, the Louds are looking around, when a familiar parrot swoops down at them]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Reunited and it feels so good."
[Carlos and Ronnie Anne approach the Louds]
Lincoln: "Hey guys, I didn't know Sergio was coming."
Carlos: "Neither did we."
Sergio: "I'm a stowaway."
Ronnie Anne: [to Lori] "Bobby's sorry he couldn't make it, he's kind of stuck at the mercado." [Shows Lori a photo on her phone]
Lori: "Awe, Boo-Boo Bear."
[The photo is of Bobby, having knocked over the glue shelf and being stuck to the floor]
Carlos: "Great seeing you Louds, I have to get to my guest lecture on the maturation of Bermuda grass, and its utility in creating an eco-friendly golf course. I'm in Hall B if anyone wants to see it."
[No one, not even Ronnie Anne, is interested. Carlos shrugs and goes. Lynn Sr. sees something that interests him]
Lynn Sr.: "Oh, oh, who wants to check out the campus store?"
[Many of the girls are interested]
Lincoln: [Holding a video camera] "Have fun, Ronnie Anne and I are going to go make skate videos."
[The two walk off, leaving Lori, Rita, Leni and Lily. A student approaches them]
Raj: "Hi, welcome to Fairway University, I'm your tour guide Raj, we'll be puttering around the campus together." [Lori and Rita chuckle] "Now, which one of you's the famous Lori Loud?" [Lori raises her hand, and Raj offers to shake] "I heard a lot about you, Coach Niblick says you're the most promising golfer he's seen in a long time." [Lori is flattered] "Now, are you ready for the tour?" [Everyone follows Raj] "...and this to out left is Wedge Hall."
[Leni notices the other students and gasps]
Leni: "O, M, gosh, Lori, they make you wear a uniform here, and it's so ugly."
Lori: "Um, Leni, I'm literally wearing the exact same outfit."
[This is correct]
Leni: [Awkwardly laughs] "Yeah."
Raj: "Oh, that's not a uniform, it's just what the students like to wear."
Lori: "Wow, I already fit in so well."
[Leni sighs]
[Later, Raj shows them the greens]
Raj: "Fairway is a golfers dream, we've got an eighteen-hole course, par seventy-two, and three putting greens."
Leni: [Looks at the pond] "Ew, Lori, the swimming pool here is so gross."
Lori: "Leni, that's not a pool, that's a water hazard."
[Just then, Sergio and some ducks jump in]
Sergio: [Squawks] "Love to party."
Raj: "We do have a bird problem, but we like to think they help us get birdies, on the holes."
Lori: [Snort laughs] "That is aesthetically the funniest thing I ever heard."
[Leni groans as they continue. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne skates up, Lincoln running after her, panting]
Ronnie Anne: [Seeing the water hazard] "Woah, perfect, start filming." [Ronnie Anne skates over a rock into a kickflip, flies over Sergio's party, and skids the rest of the way across the pond] "Whoohoo! Did you get it?"
Lincoln: [Sinks into the pond, but gets up] "Got it!"
[A frog hops out of his shirt]
[Next, Raj is showing them Par Hall]
Raj: "This is our freshman hall," [They enter the bathroom] "You'll be sharing this bathroom with nine other women on the floor."
Leni: [Gasps] "Lori, that would be so hard, sharing one bathroom, with nine other people, who could even?"
Lori: "Leni, you do realize our family of thirteen shares one bathroom, right?" [Leni counts on her fingers, and Lori gasps when she sees something] "Three sinks? Woah, this bathroom is a serious upgrade for me."
[Leni sighs. Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne skates down the hall, Lincoln following her, still filming. Ronnie Anne sees some movers bringing a sofa into the hall, she hippie jumps over it, but her friend runs right into it]
Lincoln: "Got it."
[Falls to the floor]
[In the campus store, Lynn Sr. tries on a Fairway hat in front of Lola]
Lynn Sr.: "Eh?" [Lola gives a thumbs down] "Ah, come on Lola, you can't hate all of these."
Lola: "Maybe your head just isn't the right shape for hats." [Looks around] "How about a Fairway pencil?"
[Offers him one, and he puts it over his ear]
Lynn Sr.: "Eh?"
Lola: "Fine."
Lynn Sr.: "Yes."
[Just then, Raj brings Lori, Rita, Leni and Lily into the store]
Raj: "And here we've got a great selection of tees," [points to some t-shirts] "tees," [golf tees] "and teas." [the beverage]
[Lori and Rita laugh]
Lori: "So funny."
[Leni takes lily aside]
Leni: "This day hasn't gone at all like I thought it would," [sits on a lawn chair] "Lori wants to go to Fairway more than ever." [Leni starts to cry, Lily takes a sweater off a mannequin and offers it to Leni to wipe her eyes. The sweater and the mannequin give Leni an idea, she gasps] "But what if Fairway didn't want Lori to go to it?"
[She and Lily like the idea. Leni takes the outfit off the mannequin, brushes her hair up, and flattens the top with a beachball]
[Later, Leni walks into the cafeteria, disguised as Lori. She approaches the barista]
Leni: "Hi, can I, Lori Loud, have a glass for a free cup of water?"
Cashier: "Sure."
[Gives it to her. Leni walks over to the soda fountain and takes the lemonade]
Leni: "Look at me, stealing lemonade, Lori Loud is such a rule breaker."
Cashier: "Oh, actually, all the fountain drinks in the cafeteria are free."
[At a table, another student finishes his lemonade and cheers. Leni sighs and puts the drink down, and sees the muffin basket]
Leni: [Takes an armload of muffins] "Woah, looks like Lori Loud is stealing these banana nut muffins."
Cashier: "Hey!"
Leni: "Oh-no, am I in trouble? You should probably call the campus police."
Cashier: [Giggles] "No, I just wanted to tell you that it's pastry palooza week, the muffins are free. Do you want a to-go box?" [Offers her one]
Leni: [Puts the muffins in it] "Forget it, I lost my appetite." [Walks off] "What do I have to do to mess up Lori's reputation?" [She sees someone walk by, eating muffins] "Coach Nibbles, the guy who gave Lori her scholarship, he could keep Lori from coming here next year."
[Leni follows him. Ronnie Anne skates over the table, the students applaud her, Lincoln follows her, still filming, but slips over a plate of spaghetti and falls, the students applaud him too]
[Out on the putting green, Coach Niblick sees someone approaching]
Coach Niblick: "Is that Lori Loud?"
Leni: "Why yes, it is her, I mean she, uh, I mean, I'm Lori Loud."
Coach Niblick: [Offers her a club] "Why don't you take the first swing?"
[Leni takes the club and goes onto the green]
Leni: "With pleasure." [Leni swings the club and the ball goes straight into the water trap] "Whoo! I mean, oh-no."
[Out of nowhere, a frog pops out of the water and burps the ball onto the hole]
Coach Niblick: "You just got a hole in one Lori." [Leni awkwardly laughs. Later, she takes another shot, which bounces off two trees, sets off the alarm on a golf cart, Ronnie Anne gasps and pushes Lincoln over, using her skateboard to block the incoming golf ball, which lands in the hole. Coach Niblick gasps] "That was the most incredible hole in one I've ever seen, you will be a credit to our fine institution."
[Leni laughs again, and groans. Later, Leni is preparing for another shot]
Leni: "Okay, I can't risk getting another hole in one."
[Leni lets herself spin out of control on the swing]
Coach Niblick: "Keep your eye on the ball."
[Leni lets the club fly out of her hands]
Leni: "Whoops."
Coach Niblick: [Gets another club] "Your hands must be sweaty from the excitement of those hole in ones." [Leni takes the club and just throws it] "Uh, Lori, are you feeling well?"
Leni: "I think I suddenly have... amnesia, I don't remember how to golf."
Coach Niblick: "Uh, are you sure? Here take this," [Gives Leni a golf ball] "perhaps it'll jog your memory." [Leni takes the ball and tries to eat it] "Oh, no, that's not food."
[Takes the ball out of Leni's mouth]
Leni: "Actually," [Picks up the club] "I don't recognize any of this stuff. Wow, if I can't do golf, maybe I shouldn't come to golf school."
Coach Niblick: "Are you certain?" [Leni nods] "Well then I'll have to make the call to offer your scholarship to another student. Oh, I was really rooting for you, Lori."
[Coach Niblick walks off, disappointed. and Leni is pleased]
[In the parking lot, the Loud girls are loading onto the van, and Ronnie Anne is looking at the footage Lincoln shot]
Ronnie Anne: "Wow Lincoln, this footage is amazing." [Turns to face the boy covered in spaghetti] "Sorry if you got a little banged up."
Lincoln: "It was worth it."
[Leni, with her regular attire on, skips to the van]
Lori: "Oh, Leni," [excitedly runs up to her] "looks what I found in the bookstore." [Holds up sixteen and a half magazine] "I was thinking, we can set up a time to chat on the phone every night, so we can still do our magazine quizzes together."
Leni: "Won't you be too busy for that?"
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