The following is a transcript for the episode "Food Courting."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Open at the Royal Woods Mall. Leni puts corduroy on Tanya in the display booth at Reininger's] Leni: "Sorry you have to wear corduroy for a week, Tanya. But at least you get a cool view of the food court." [She looks over the food court and all the workers who work there.] Miguel: "Leni, you ready for lunch?" Leni: "Definitely! How about Spaghetti on a Stick?" [Miguel winces] "I'm craving skewered noodles." Miguel: "Uh, sure. But let's go to the Spaghetti on a Stick across town, or maybe one at a different town. I hear you get free marinara in Hazeltucky." Leni: "That's silly. It's right there!" [grabs Miguel] "Come on!" [drags him away]
[Now they're at the food court] Leni: "OMGosh, last night's Dream Boat was totes wild!" [Miguel grabs a menu to hide himself and accidentally bumps into a table, causing its occupant to shake his fist at him.] "First, Valine picked Victor, but then Valerio fell from the crow's nest and landed on her! It was love at first impact." [Miguel bumps into another man and crashes into a sauce cart, spilling its contents onto himself. A Spaghetti on a Stick employee grabs a hose and sprays Miguel.] Miguel: "Thanks, Felix." Felix: "You know, Miguel bumped into the carbonara cart yesterday. What's up with him? He's super distracted." Leni:[gasps] "You're right. I'm wearing new sunglasses, and he didn't even notice!" [notices Miguel staring starry-eyed at something] "Miguel, what's going on?" [waves a hand in front of him] Gavin: "Step right up! Get your skewered noodles!" [Gavin puts a skewer into a pot, stirs, and gets spaghetti on a stick, offering a free sample as guests cheer.] Felix: "That's Gavin. He just joined the Spaghetti on a Stick family." [Leni looks at Miguel, then at Gavin, then back to Miguel, and realizes that means...] Leni: "Eee!" [Miguel snaps out of his trance] "OMGosh, time for the caboose of truth!" [pushes him onto the caboose] "You have a crush on Gavin!" Miguel: "Shh! Fashion show voices. OK, yes, you're right, I do." [Leni squeals again as the train starts moving.] Leni: "Why are you being so secretive? You're a great guy, Miguel. You should totes go for it." Miguel: "You'll find this hard to believe, but I'm not always the witty, suave style icon you know and absolutely adore." [sighs] "When it comes to affairs of the heart, I'm a totally nervous klutz!" [Meanwhile Gavin tosses three meatballs and they perfectly land on the skewer] Residents: "Awesome!" [The train passes by Gavin.] Miguel: "There's no way I could ever approach someone as cool as Gavin. Did you see the height he gets on those meatballs?" Leni: "What if you didn't do it alone? What if I helped you land your crush?" Miguel: "Oh!" [starts clapping] [The train enters a tunnel and knocks Leni's new shades off] Leni: "My new sunglasses!"
[The next day.] Leni: "OK, just remember everything we talked about last night." Miguel: "Ask if the sauce is fresh, compliment his shoes, mention the latest ep of The Dream Boat." Leni: "Perfect." [She pushes him in front of Gavin. Miguel sweats nervously] Gavin: "Welcome to Spaghetti on a Stick! How can I help you today?" [Leni pushes him forward] Miguel: "Uh, nice boats. Are the shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of The Dream Sauce, huh?" [Gavin only stares confused as Miguel rushes off crying and bumps into a man in lederhosen, spilling sauerkraut on his eyes.] Miguel: "AHH! SAUERKRAUT IN MY EYE!" Leni: "Don't worry. We are not giving up." [sniffs] "And sauerkraut is actually a good scent on you." [Miguel glares at her for her ditzy insensitivity.]
[Later, Miguel revisits the Spaghetti on a Stick booth and puts on a radio microphone.] Miguel: "Testing, testing. Are you sure this is going to work?" [Cue split-screen with Leni at the Reininger's register.] Leni: "Definitely. This is legit David Steele spy gear from Lincoln. With me talking in your ear, you won't mess up with Gavin. Trust me." Miguel: "OK, bestie, I trust you." [approaches Gavin] Gavin: "Hey, Miguel! Looking stylish as usual." [Miguel laughs before covering himself.] Leni: "Thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?" Miguel: "Uh--uh, thanks. What can you tell me about the rigatoni today?" Gavin: "Excellent question! The pasta is fresh from Sicily. Well, Sicily, Michigan, but still. So, can I put in an order from you?" [Miguel only stares dreamily. Meanwhile at Reininger's, Leni is interrupted by Scoots holding fresh lavender pants in her scooter] Scoots: "Quit daydreaming, blondie! And ring these up!" Leni:[commanding] "One moment, please." [Unfortunately, Leni hasn't turned off her mic, so Miguel has overheard this, too.] Miguel:[in the exact same tone and posture as Leni] "One moment, please." Gavin: "I get it. Choosing the right pasta takes time." Miguel: "I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down and step back, please." [As Gavin stares confused, Miguel looks nervous. Back at Reininger's, Leni is bothered at Scoots waving the pants in her face] Leni: "I said, step back, please." Scoots: "And I said, I've waited long enough!" [She shakes the pants furiously at Leni. Back at Spaghetti on a Stick] Gavin: "Uh, Miguel? Is everything all right?" [Miguel laughs nervously and runs off before slipping and falling into the fountain. Felix holds up a washcloth] Miguel: "Oh, thanks, Felix." [Scoots furiously chases Leni across the mall.] Leni: "SECURITY!!" Scoots: "Get back here, blondie!"
[Leni and Miguel are now at Dairyland] Leni: "And I just happened to hear Gavin say he was spending his day off here. I mean, lucky for us, I was hiding behind his car, listening to him on the phone. Right?" Miguel: "Oh, you're the best bestie ever. So what's the plan? Ride the Curdler with him and pose stylishly for the scream cam?" Leni: "Nope." [points to Seas of Cheese, where Gavin is in line] "We're just going to get on the same Seas o' Cheese boat as him, so I can talk you up." Miguel: "Genius! And for backup, I still have all the stylish poses I practiced." [strikes several poses] [Tippy has watched the whole thing and gives a thumbs up. Cut to Leni and Miguel cutting in line] Leni: "Excuse me! So sorry. Our friend is up there." [clears throat; acting] "Gavin? What a surprise!" Gavin: "Oh. Hey, Leni. Hey, Miguel." [Miguel is shivering under the presence of his crush.] Leni: "Miguel, look! It's Gavin!" Miguel:[snaps out of it] "Grey! Sorry. I started to say 'greetings', but then I switched it to 'hey'. Ugh!" [Another teen pokes Miguel on the shoulder and points forwards. Miguel sees that Leni and Gavin are about to get on the ride, panics, and rushes to the boat] Usher: "Next boat. This one's full." Leni: "Wait, no! He's with us!" [The boat leaves. Miguel sighs in disappointment as Tippy puts an arm on his shoulder.]
[Now they're riding the Seas of Cheese.] Puppets: "♫ Dairy binds the world together, dairy binds us all... ♫" Gavin:[laughs] "I love this song! I could listen to it all day." Leni: "Me, too! My sister Luna thinks I'm totes uncool because I sing it in the shower." [gets an idea] "Ooh, you know who is cool? Miguel! Last month, he competed in a triathlon. The events were yoga, modeling a man purse, and providing fashion commentary during an awards show! He came in first." Gavin:[chuckles] "Leni, I know what you're doing." Leni: "You do?" Gavin: "Don't worry. I got the message. And it's all good because I feel the same way." [Leni squeals] "I think it's sweet that you've been so nervous about talking to me that you've been hiding behind Miguel." Leni: "Wait, what? I mean, I hid behind your car, but not behind Miguel." Gavin: "You don't have to worry. I think you're cool, too. And I'd love to get to know you better." Leni: "Oh, no, no, no. I am not cool. Miguel is cool." Gavin: "I'm sure Miguel is great, but I like you." [A blushing Leni panics and leaps into the cheese] "Leni, what are you doing?" Leni: "Uh, I dropped my phone. Sail on without me." [Gavin only stares lovingly at her as she sighs.]
[Later, a cheese-covered Leni exits Dairyland with Miguel.] Leni: "Sorry I, uh, fell out of the boat before I could talk to Gavin about you." Miguel: "Well, thanks for trying, Leni. You're a good friend - no, the best friend." [hugs her] "Now get home and wash that cheese off before your skin curdles. Ugh!" [leaves] [Leni waves back at him before looking at Tippy signing cards with kids.] Leni: "TIPPY, THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!" [the kids run off screaming] "I tried to connect Gavin with Miguel, but it turns out Gavin is interested in me. If Miguel finds out, our friendship will be over forever." [gasps] "You're right! I have to make sure Miguel never finds out." [hugs Tippy] "You're a wise cow, Tippy." [leaves] [Tippy shrugs]
[The next day at Reininger's, Gavin brings over takeout] Gavin: "Special delivery for Leni Loud! Pork ravioli skewers." [chuckles] "I made them myself." Leni:[gasps] "Ooh, my favorite!" Gavin: "I know. I asked around." Miguel:[off-screen] "Oh, I smell pork!" [Leni frantically shoves Gavin into a storage closet.] Gavin: "Ow!" [Crashes] Leni: "Um, it's just my..." [Throws a box at Gavin] "...uh..." [Shuts the door and pulls out the skewer] "...new perfume." [She lathers herself with the skewer's sauce.] Miguel:[sniffs] "Mm, bold. I like it. Wow, you and I both found new food-related fragrances this week!" [laughs] "Yay, us!" Leni:[sighs in relief] "Phew." [The door opens, and Gavin collapses.]
[At the Loud House, Leni and Miguel are going over 17 1/2 Magazine quiz questions while Charles gnaws on a bone.] Miguel: "If I were a shoe. Wow, such a personal question. Hmmm... I'd have to say an open-toed sandal. I've got nothing to hide but at the same time offer incredible support." [Suddenly "Dairy Binds the World Together" starts playing. Leni looks out the window and sees Gavin outside holding up a boombox and blasting the music at full volume.] Leni: "Ahh!" Miguel: "Is that the Seas o' Cheese song?" Leni: "Uh, it's the ice cream truck!" [shoves Miguel's head under the couch] "Look for loose change so we can buy something." [leaves] Miguel:[muffled] "Leni!" [She grabs Charles's bone and heads into the dining room, where Lynn has just finished eating a meatball sub.] Leni: "Lynn, I need your help! Think you can fling this bone into someone's pocket for me?" Lynn:[swallows] "Uh, I'm gonna ignore how random your question is and just say, duh." [grabs the bone, twirls it while opening the window, and perks up when she recognizes the song playing outside] "Is that the Seas o' Cheese song?" Leni: "Lynn, focus!" [Lynn throws the bone into Gavin's pocket, and Charles bursts out of the front door and chases him off.] Gavin: "Aah!" [runs off] Leni: "I'm really sorry!" [Back inside, Miguel finally comes out of the couch with two moldy bagels and several loose change and coughs them out.] Miguel: "Sorry about what?" Leni: "Uh, that we missed the ice cream truck. It went by really fast." [Just then Lynn snatches the moldy bagels and eats them. Miguel goes green around his face at this.] Lynn: "What? Never heard of fourth lunch?"
[Back in the food court, Leni sits alone with Tanya] Leni: "What am I going to do, Tanya? I feel terrible that Gavin is into me and not Miguel. And the worst part is I think I might sort of like him, too." [pretends to listen to Tanya and nods her head] "I know, you're right. For the sake of my friendship with Miguel, I have to let Gavin down for good. You're a wise lady, Tanya." [Suddenly Gavin appears and serenades her with a ukulele] Gavin: "♫ Leni, the pasta I'd make you is penne ♫" [as he sings, a random man collapses while eating his sandwich due to his chair falling over. His sandwich lands on top of his face, piece by piece.] "♫ You're my one and only ♫" [takes out a takeout box] "♫ Be the breadstick to my cannelloni ♫" Leni: "Oh, Gavin, you're sweet, and that penne does look delicious. But we need to talk." [Unfortunately Miguel shows up and gasps at the sight of his dream man serenading his BFF. Leni gasps upon noticing.]
[Later, they're now at the display booth of Reininger's.] Leni: "I know you're mad, Miguel, and I am so sorry. I've been doing my best to avoid Gavin because I would never want to hurt you." Miguel: "Well, I am hurt." Leni: "I understand if you don't wanna be friends anymore." Miguel: "No, silly. I'm hurt that you think I'd be mad at you. Leni, you're the kindest, sweetest person I know. I would never think you were trying to steal Gavin." Leni: "Really?" Miguel:[nods] "I'm touched that you would avoid him to spare my feelings, but I'm alright. Actually, I think you and Gavin would make a cute couple. So I'm totes cool if you want to get to know him better." Leni: "You are?" Miguel: "Of course! You're my BFF, and I want you to be happy. B-double-I-G. Oh, bring it in, girl." [They hug] "Come on. Let's go to Spaghetti on a Stick right now." [He drags her to Spaghetti on a Stick] "Hey, Gavin. So my friend Leni thinks you're kind of neat. She's my bestie, so treat her well." [seizes him by the collar] "Or they'll be serving Gavin on a stick here. Know what I mean?" Gavin:[chuckles] "Huh." [Miguel leaves as the camera cuts to Leni's perspective. Gavin is seen in a romantic vision.] Leni:[blushes and chuckles nervously] "Nice boats. Are the shoes fresh? Boy, that episode of Dream Sauce, huh?" [She gasps and they both laugh. Miguel giggles at seeing them together, only to slip on spilled water and land in the janitor's bucket. Felix hands him another towel.] Miguel: "Thanks, Felix." [He takes Felix's hand and they both chuckle] Felix: "Uh, how about lunch? The spaghetti's extra fresh today. Actually, so are the steaks." [Cut to Miguel's perspective, where Felix is in the same romantic vision. They both stare lovingly at each other and chuckle. Leni notices and squeals at Miguel finding his own love. The end.]
