The following is a transcript for the episode "Fool Me Twice".
[A bus stops in the middle of a street and Lincoln comes out, wearing a coat, a hat, and a glasses with a fake mustache, he then hides behind a dumpster, then in a tree, (which he accidentally falls out of) then he rides a scooter to a local highway.]
Lincoln: [makes a bird call] "Ca-ca! Ca-ca!"
[The Loud Family, sans Luan, appears out of their hiding places in their diguises.]
Lynn Sr.: [slowly and with an affected deep voice.] "What animal does Mary have?"
Lincoln: [also with an affected voice] "A lamb with the fleece as white as snow."
[The Loud Family, sans Lincoln, sighs in relief and they remove their disguises.]
Lynn Sr.: "Oh, good. It's really you, son. Are you sure Luan didn't follow you?"
Lincoln: "Definitely. I took four different buses. Plus, I've got Clyde doing some surveillance on her."
[At Sunset Canyon retirement home, Luan is entertaining the elders, with Clyde disguised an elder, monitoring Luan.]
Lynn Sr.: "Great! Now let's get down to business. April Fools day is tomorrow, and we still don't have a plan to stop Luan from pranking our butts off! So, who's got an idea?"
Lori: "Oh, Bobby said we could hide in the basement of the bodega, we just have to watch out for the rat traps...and the asbestos."
Rita: [unimpressed] "You're really selling it, honey."
Lincoln: "There's an island off the southern tip of Guam. You can only get to it by submarine."
Lynn: [Imitates a buzzing sound] "We don't have passports, Stinkin'!"
Lisa: "Pending some grant money, I could build a ship that could take us to Europa, one of Jupiter's moons."
Lana: "Or we can dig a system of tunnels under the house."
Leni: "Why don't we just ask Luan to stop, but like, REALLY nicely?"
Lynn Sr.: "Ugh, maybe it's hopeless!"
[A movie producer appears]
Producer: "Excuse me, do you folks mind? We're trying to shoot a movie here."
[The family walk away.]
Lola: "Yeah, guys! Outta the shot!" [Lola poses] "Okay, I'm ready for my close up!"
Producer: "Sorry, little girl, you need to get outta the shot, too. We're filming a dangerous stunt."
Lola: [Scoffs] "Your loss!"
[She walks away as well.]
[A man in a red suit and matching motorcycle come crashing through a boarded window on a high speed chase, and leaps over an area full of police cars with an explosion following suite. He crash lands to the ground.]
[The man recovers from the crash, and removes his helmet. His appearance is similar to Lynn Sr.'s.]
Lynn: "Man, that guy can really take a beating!"
Leni: "He looks just like Dad!"
Lynn Sr.: "Too bad I can't just hire him to take all of Luan's pranks for me."
[Everyone stares at Lynn Sr.]
Lynn Sr.: "I wasn't being serious."
Lincoln: "But, Dad, maybe that's the perfect plan! We hire a bunch of stunt doubles to take all the hits for us, and we get off pain free."
[The family talks it over and agrees to the plan.]
Leni: "Wow, these doubles look just like us!"
Rita: "No, honey. Those are the doubles." [Points towards the actual stunt doubles.]
Leni: "Oh, well, they're good, too."
Lynn Sr.: "So, uh, what's this gonna cost me?"
[Lynn Sr.'s stunt double hands him the bill.]
Lynn Sr.: [Gasps] "Is this in dollars?!"
Lincoln: "I don't understand. Why is my double old?"
Lynn Sr's stunt double: "You're 11 and you have white hair. I did the best I could."
Lincoln's stunt double: "I came out of retirement for this gig. These days, I mostly just sit around reading in my underwear."
Lincoln: "Never mind, he's perfect."
Lynn Sr.: "Okay, famo. Now that everyone's got a double, it's time to teach them how to look and act just like us. We gotta work fast! Luan gets home at 5, and if she finds the house empty..." [Looks at his double] "Are you picking up on this? I talk with my hands. Big hand talker right here."
[Later, the Loud Family are teaching the doubles what to do and how to act like them.]
Lana: "Really get that mud up in your face. Don't be afraid to eat a little."
Lisa: "Now in addition to English, I speak Mandarin, Latin, Swedish, and West Cost Rap."
Rita: "So, this is the novel I'm working on. In case Luan asks you about it, you probably read the whole thing tonight."
Leni: "Okay, so let's see the walk."
[Leni's stunt double attempts to imitate Leni's walking motion.]
Leni: "Almost, but you forgot part of it."
[Leni walks and crashes into the wall; Leni's double repeats this.]
Lincoln: "First thing in the morning, I usually rush to the bathroom to beat the crowd."
Lincoln's double: "Oh, same here! There're some pushy blue hairs at the senior center!"
Lincoln: "Then, before school, I'll sometimes stop for a Flipee. Watermelon Lime's my favorite."
Lincoln's double: "It's my favorite flavor of gelatin!"
Lynn Sr.: [Narrating] Okay gang, here's the plan, at Midnight, we sneak out of the house, and switch places with the doubles. They'll take it from there.[Rita and Lynn Sr. go to wake up the kids. When they go to wake up Luna, Lynn steps in to help.]
Lynn: I've got this! [Makes a paper airplane, and throws it at Luna.]
[The Louds sneak outside to switch places with the doubles.]
Lynn Sr.: Good luck to you guys! Are you sure you're ready?
Lynn Sr.'s double: Don't worry about us, we're gonna be A-Okay.
[Morning. Inside the garage, the Louds peek out the garage, Lynn Sr. is making pancakes, Lily is sitting in her high chair, and Lisa is looking over a giant monitor.]
Lisa: "Family, gather 'round." [the family walks up to the monitor.] "We can follow the action via the cameras I installed in everyone's room last year..." [the family look at Lisa with suspicion, and Lisa attempts to correct her blurt.] "Er... last night." [notices something] "Oh! We have movement in the twin's room!"
[Lisa hits a button labeled "CAM 8", and the monitor shows Lana and Lola's stunt doubles about to leave the bedroom.]
Lana and Lola: "Here it comes!"
[Lana and Lola's stunt doubles exit the room, but mysteriously, nothing happens.]
Lana: "Huh. I thought for sure Luan was going to nail them with a bucket of grease."
Lola: "Or a sock full of quarters!"
Lisa: "Old Lincoln is on the move... slowly."
[Lisa switches the monitor to showcase Lincoln's room. Lincoln's stunt double sits up, cracking his back.]
Lincoln: Oh, man, I can't watch. What's happening? Did he get injured?"
[Lincoln's stunt double walks out of the room, and still, nothing happens.]
Rita: "Well, he did hurt his back, but it seems unrelated."
Luna: [suspicious] "What's the dealio? Why aren't they getting pranked?"
Lucy: "Any why are they leaving the house?"
[On the monitor, each one of the stunt doubles is seen leaving the house. Realizing something, the family gasps, and quickly rush to the garage door, and peek out the windows, seeing the doubles head off in different directions.]
Lynn Sr.: [peeved] "What the heck?! I paid good money for them to get their butts pranked off!"
[Rita has a sudden realization.]
Rita: "Wait a minute, I get it. Luan's prank was to not prank us at all."
Lincoln: What do you mean, Mom?"
Rita: Ha! She knew we'd go crazy trying to protect ourselves, so she just let us chase our tails."
Lori: "Oh, you're right. She is good."
[The family laughs, realizing the trouble they went through.]
Lynn Sr.: "Well, I may have burned through all our savings, but at least it's over!"
Luan: [off-screen] "Over? It's just getting started!" [the family turns around, and scream in horror when they see Luan on the monitor, looking on devilishly.] "You know, family, I had a whole different plan in mind for today, but I'll save that for next year, because once I saw the amazing doubles you guys found, I was inspired to do something even better. So stay tuned, because the rest of this day is going to be doubly special!" [laughs evilly.] "Get it? You don't now, but you will."
[The monitor shuts off.]
Lucy: [worried] "What is she talking about?"
Lynn: [panicking] Ah! Ah! Ah! We gotta stop her!" [she tries to open the door, but it won't budge.] "She welded the door shut!"
[Lincoln and Lana try the windows, but they too won't budge.]
Lana: "And the windows!"
Lori: "I'll try the garage door. Who's got the remote?"
Leni: [peeking out the garage window] "Oh, Luan does, she's outside!"
[The family rush to the garage door, and peek out the windows. They scream in horror upon seeing Luan with the garage remote. Luan, on her jester's chair, turns around, revealing to have Cliff on her lap.]
Luan: "Don't look at me, look at the monitors! I put cameras everywhere so you can enjoy the show. Ta-ta!"
[As Luan rolls away, the family quickly rush to the monitor. They see Lincoln's double approaching a random house.]
Lincoln: "Ah! It's old Lincoln! What's he doing? Did he get lost?"
[Lincoln's double is seen grabbing a rock, and tossing it at one of the windows on the second floor. A silhouetted figure approaches the window, and opens it, revealing to be Mrs. Johnson.]
Lincoln's Double: "Mrs. Johnson, it's me, Lincoln. I can't get through another day of school without telling you, you are the center of my universe, and I love you!"
[Mrs. Johnson looks on with worry.]
Lincoln: [humiliated] "Oh, no!"
[Lincoln collapses to the floor. The monitor changes to something different.]
Lola: [worried] "Wait! That's my pageant studio!"
[Lola's double is revealed to be at Lola's pageant studio, standing in front of some of Lola's pageant rivals, and one of them is her biggest rival.]
Lola's Double: "Hi, Lindsay. I know I won Miss Junior Royal Woods this year, but the truth is, your neck is straighter, your hair holds curls better than mine, and your baton twirling puts mine to shame." [gives Lindsay the Miss Junior Royal Woods pageant crown Lola won.] "So here, this really belongs to you."
[As Lindsay smiles, Lola screams in utter horror, and collapses to the floor.]
Lisa: [horrified] "Oh, sweet irony! We handed Luan the perfect weapons to destroy us!"
[The monitor changes to something different.]
Leni: "Oh, no! My salon!"
[Leni's double is at the hair salon, sitting under a hardhat dryer. The dryer lifts up, revealing a perm.]
Leni's Double: "I love my new perm." [her face has a sinister look] "I can't wait to show all my friends!"
[Leni screams in horror, and collapses to the floor. The monitor changes to show a rock concert being held by Sam and her friends. Luna's double suddenly appears on the stage.]
Luna's Double: "Dudes, stop!" [the band members stop playing] "I think I want to take this thing in a new direction."
[Luna's double dons a feathered fedora, pulls out an accordion, and begins playing polka music.]
Luna: "Bogus! That's not even good polka!"
[Luna collapses to the floor, dazed. The monitor changes to a park. Lana's double is seen holding a squirming worm in front of Lana's friends.]
Lana's Double: [grossed out] "Eww, eww, eww! A worm!" [runs off]
Lana: [mad] "I wouldn't run from it, I'd eat it!"
[Lana grumbles in frustration, and collapses to the floor. The monitor changes to something different.]
Lynn: "Uh, why is my double playing against that dweeb? It's not gonna be much of a competition."
[The monitor shows Lynn's double playing a game of tetherball against Zach. Zach smacks the ball, and Lynn's double flinches in fear as the ball wraps around the pole, giving Zach the victory.]
Lynn: [distraught] "No! My 300 game winning streak!"
[Lynn collapses to the floor in defeat.]
Rita: "What is she doing at my publisher's?"
[Rita's double is seen at the publisher's building with Rita's novel.]
Rita's Double: "I know I said I needed another month to work on my novel, but I decided it's actually ready."
Rita: [horrified] "No! The ending is wrong! I wanted it all to be a dream!"
[As Rita collapses to the floor, the monitor changes to show Lisa's double at the podium at a scientific presentation.]
Lisa's Double: "Colleagues, I believe that my latest presentation will knock your proverbial socks off." [Lisa's double pulls a tarp off a board, revealing a picture of a cat. The attendees gasp in surprise.] "This is a kitty. He says 'meow'."
[Lisa, shocked to see her double present something so mundane, falls back, and collapses to the floor. The monitor now shows Lucy's double standing in front of Lucy's friends.]
Lucy's Double: "The eyes are the windows to the soul..." [grabbing the hair that conceals her eyes.] "...and it's time I bare mine to you."
[Cut to Lucy, Lori, and Lynn Sr. before Lucy's double reveals her eyes.]
Lucy: "Gasp. Those were never meant to be seen."
[Lucy collapses to the floor, and the monitor changes to a familiar place.]
Lynn Sr.: "Banger's & Mosh, the British eatery and rock venue?" [worried] "Oh, what's he doing there?"
[Lynn Sr.'s double is seen at the restaurant with a couple of Lynn Sr.'s friends.]
Quizmaster: "Welcome to the "Are You a True Englishman" trivia challenge. First question: In what city is the Tower of London?"
[Lynn Sr.'s double hits his buzzer.]
Lynn Sr.'s Double: "Oh, I got this one! Rome!"
[Lynn Sr.'s friends facepalm at their "friend" getting a question with a rhetorical answer wrong, and Lynn Sr., horrified for the same reason, collapses to the floor. The monitor changes to show Lori's double going on a date with Bobby at Giovanni Changs Italian Chinese Bistro.]
Lori's Double: "Thanks for coming all the way here to meet me, Boo Boo Bear. I just really missed you." [she suddenly lets one loose.] "Oh, that was my shoe." [she lets another one loose] "That was my other shoe." [she lets a third one loose, causing Bobby to cover his nose.] "I have some extra shoes in my bag."
[Lori, horrified to see her double humiliate her in front of her boyfriend, screams in terror, grabs the monitor, and slams it to the floor, and collapses to the floor.]
[Later, the family, having regained consciousness, sit on the floor, moping at their humiliation. Lana suddenly pops out of a hole.]
Lana: "Good news, guys. I dug us out."
Lola: [distraught] "How is that good? It's not like we can leave. We can't show our faces anywhere in Royal Woods ever again!!"
Lynn Sr.: "Well, guys, it's clear what we have to do."
[Luan returns home in her unicycle and helmet to see Rita putting "This House for Sale" sign, with the rest of the family with boxes.]
Luan: "Uh, Mom, what's going on?"
Rita: "Obviously, we're moving, honey. You should go pack your things."
Luan: "What? Why?"
Lynn Sr: "Well, it's not like we can stay! You pretty much ruined our lives here!"
Luan: "Okay, guys. Nice try! You almost had me there for a moment."
[A moving truck backs up in the driveway.]
Mover: "Is this the La-oods residence?"
[Luan sees her siblings putting their boxes inside the truck and feels guilty for what she did.]
Luan: "You guys, wait! [Her eyes start tearing up] I'm sorry for the pranking! Please, we can't move!"
Luna: [denying] "It's too late to turn back now."
Luan: "No, it isn't! I'll call everyone I embarrassed you guys in front of. I can explain everything!"
Lincoln: [still denying] "It's not gonna make any difference."
Lynn Sr: "So we'll see you in the Florida Panhandle Tuesday Morning."
Luan: [crying, remorseful] "NO! We can't leave! Royal Woods is our home! I'm so sorry! I'll never prank you again!"
[Suddenly, the family reveals that it was just a prank.]
Family: "APRIL FOOLS!!!"
Luan: [happy, relieved] "I really gotta hand it to you guys. You're really starting to the get the hang of this! But you might want to stop that truck."
[The moving truck departs]
Lincoln: "Actually, most of those boxes were empty...except the ones filled with your stuff. So you might want to stop that truck!"
Luan: [Horrified, runs after the moving truck.] "NO! COME BACK!!!"
[The family looks on with wide grins, knowing they got her good.]
| v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts