The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Lincoln and Lynn Sr. are playing a Muscle Fish video game, with Lynn Sr. holding his controller upside-down. Lincoln's character defeats Lynn Sr.'s.] Lincoln: "Oh, yeah! I gutted your halibut! That makes it 90 to zero. By the way, Dad, your controller is upside-down." Lynn Sr.:[notices his controller] "What?! Come on! We've been playing for two hours and you're just telling me now?!" [Lincoln chuckles as the doorbell rings. Lynn Sr. opens it to find a package.] Lincoln: "What is it?" [Lynn Sr. opens the package to show a Guy Grazer bobblehead.] Lynn Sr.:[gasps] "A Guy Grazer bobblehead?!" [presses the button] Guy: "Congratulations. You've been selected to compete on Kitchen Combat tomorrow night. So don't disappoint me, Chef Loud!" Lynn Sr.: "Chef Loud? Ah! That's me!" [laughs] "The bobblehead's talking to me!" [Suddenly Mr. Coconuts pops in] Mr. Coconuts: "A talking toy? Now I've seen everything." Luan: "But don't you have to sabotage the other chefs and play dirty? That isn't really your style." Lynn Sr.: "It is now, and I am ready to pulverize the competition!" [grabs Lincoln's controller and stomps on it] "Uh, sorry, kiddo. I was in the pulverize zone." [chuckles] "So anyway, Luan, grab your bundt pan and lace up that apron. You can be my sous-chef!" Luan: "I wish I could, Dad. Tomorrow I'm performing at Flip's open mic night. We tell jokes while people fill up their cars." Mr. Coconuts: "Here's hoping we don't tank." [leaves to rimshot] Lynn Sr.: "Ooh, fun! I'm sure I can find someone else." Lincoln: "Ooh, ooh!" Lynn Sr.: "Oh, Lincoln, you wanna be my sous-chef?" Lincoln: "Yes! Second choice!" [They high-five]
[The Kitchen Combat arena.] Guy:[enters the arena] "Welcome to Kitchen Combat, where two teams battle for ultimate culinary supremacy!" [the logo appears] "Let's meet our contestants. Cooking at battle station 1:" [Lincoln and Lynn Sr. appear] "Chef Lynn Loud, sous-chef Lincoln." [Lincoln and Lynn Sr. cheer and high-five] "And now to meet your competition. Cooking at battle station 2:" [Rosa and Ronnie Anne appear] "Chef Rosa Casagrande and her sous-chef Ronnie Anne." Lynn Sr.: "Rosa?!" Lincoln: "Ronnie Anne?!" Rosa: "Lynn?!" Ronnie Anne: "Lincoln?!" [They rush to hug each other] Rosa: "What a surprise!" Lynn Sr.: "I can't believe this!" Lincoln: "This is incredible!" Ronnie Anne: "I know! What are the odds my abuela and your dad got picked to be on this show?" Lynn Sr.: "So unexpected! I--I was prepared to pulverize the competition, but I can't do that to you, Rosa!" Rosa: "I can't pulverize you, either." Guy:[clears throat] "You may change your minds when you see that you're competing for... the all-new, color-changing, game-changing, knife-changing-" [realizes the prize isn't revealed and facepalms] "Matthew, pull the curtain!" [Matthew pulls the curtain to reveal...] "It's the voice-activated Thriller Chiller 5000 Refrigerator!" Crowd: "Oooh!" Guy: "Hey, fridgey, grapes, please." [The fridge activates and fires a grape into Guy's mouth. The contestants aw at this] "And only one team will go home with it. So, let's get ready for combat!" Contestants: "Yeah!"
Guy: "Your first challenge is to cook me breakfast with limited items you'll have to fight over. It's time for Ingredient Showdown!" [Matthew isn't unveiling the ingredients] "Matthew, pull the curtain!" [Matthew unveils the ingredients] "Now race over and battle it out for ingredients! Ready, set, combat!" [But the contestants walk over to the ingredients while chatting casually] Rosa: "Ooh, I love a good challenge." Lincoln: "How cool is this?" Lynn Sr.: "I'll bet we can split this up." [grabs some eggs] "Rosa, can I take these? I can make a breakfast scramble." Rosa: "Claro que si. I can make huevos rancheros from the rest." [takes tomatoes, pepper, and pancakes] "Now we don't have to fight over ingredients." Lynn Sr.: "Sounds like a plan." Lincoln and Ronnie Anne: "Woohoo!" [Guy growls at his contestants not fighting.]
[Lincoln and Lynn Sr. make a breakfast scramble while Rosa and Ronnie Anne make huevos rancheros when an alarm blares] Guy: "You know what that sound means: it's time for your kitchen curveball. This one is called: Shell-Shocked! Matthew, bring out the launchers!" [Matthew reveals egg launchers] "While trying to finish your breakfast challenge, you must prevent your opponent from finishing theirs by firing eggs at them! If you don't..." Lynn Sr. and Rosa:[deadpan] "We get eliminated." Guy: "Eggs-actly." Lynn Sr.:[growls] "I hate when puns are used for evil." Guy: "Better start launching those eggs if you want to win. Did I mention the Thriller Chiller 5000 brings the food to you?" [giggles] "It's the sous-chef you never knew you always wanted!" [Lynn Sr. imagines the Thriller Chiller 5000 cooking at Lynn's Table. Back to reality.] Lynn Sr.: "I could use an extra hand, or six. But I can't fire eggs at Rosa!" [gets an idea and holds up a frying pan] "Oh, I know! We can hold up the pans and shoot the eggs into each other's dishes!" Lincoln: "Great idea!" Ronnie Anne: "Nice one, Mr. L!" [Guy facepalms.]
[Lincoln and Lynn Sr. are manning the egg launchers and give each other the thumbs up. They fire the eggs at Ronnie Anne's mixing bowl and Rosa's frying pan and high-five. Now it's Rosa and Ronnie Anne's turn at the egg launcher. Rosa can't seem to get it to work and fires one at Lynn Sr.'s frying pan. Lynn Sr. deflects another egg off his shoulder.] Lynn Sr.:[to his son] "You know, your old man used to sling eggs like this when he was a prep cook." [gets hit by a stray egg from Rosa] "Good shot." [Rosa and Ronnie Anne giggle.] Guy: "WHY WON'T THEY BATTLE IT OUT?!" Matthew: "Aww. Their friendship's too strong for a fridge to get in the way." [Guy shoots him a dirty look] Guy: "Listen up, chefs! We're skipping breakfast. Now I'm in the mood for dinner. I'm also in the mood to up the prizes. The winner gets not only the fridge, but a whole new high-tech, game-changing, life-changing kitchen!" [shows the kitchen on a screen] Crowd: "Ooh!" Lincoln: "We can still keep this friendly, right, Dad? Dad?" Lynn Sr.: "A whole new kitchen?" [Lynn Sr. imagines himself in the kitchen, giggling at it, sniffing the new smell of the washed dishes, and caressing the oven. Back to reality.] Ronnie Anne: "The kitchen we already have is great, right, Abuela?" [A stupefied Rosa imagines herself in the kitchen] Rosa: "♫ I can make dishes for kings and queens / 'Cause this is the cocina of my dreams! ♫" [Back to reality] Lynn Sr. and Rosa: "I want that kitchen." [They glare at each other as Guy chuckles] Lynn Sr.: "Rosa, no hard feelings, but, uh, I have to win this. If you saw my restaurant's deep fryer, you'd understand." Rosa: "Yes, well, I'm working with a three-speed blender at home, and all three are broken. It's on!" Ronnie Anne: "Come on! It's just stuff!" Lincoln: "It's not worth risking your friendship over!" Guy: "And did I mention the winner also takes home the Fabulous Froyo 5000?!" Ronnie Anne: "Wait, a froyo machine?" [Matthew shows the froyo machine] Lincoln and Ronnie Anne: "I want that froyo machine!" Ronnie Anne: "Well then, may the best chefs win." [offers a handshake] Lincoln: "Oh, they will." [goes for it, but Ronnie Anne lifts her hand up, much to Lincoln's annoyance] Guy:[gleefully] "Finally, they're ready to battle! Now race over and battle it out for ingredients! Ready, set, combat!" [The contestants sprint over for the ingredients, knocking Guy over, and battle it out in a fight cloud] Lincoln: "Hey, come on!" [Lynn Sr. and Rosa burst out of the fight cloud, Lynn Sr. holding on onion.] Rosa: "Give me that onion!" Lynn Sr.: "No, I need it! Hands off!" [Rosa tackles Lynn Sr., dragging them both back into the fight cloud. The onion falls out of the cloud] Lynn Sr.: "Grab the onion, son!" [Lincoln leaps out of the cloud to get it, but Rosa strangles Lynn Sr. and shoves him back into it] Rosa: "Beat him to it, Ronnie Anne!" [Ronnie Anne leaps out of the cloud as Lynn Sr. shoves her abuela back into the fray. Lincoln nabs the onion and laughs triumphantly, but Ronnie Anne pounces on him.] Lincoln: "I had it first!" Guy:[chuckles] "Now we're cooking with gas."
[Lincoln and Lynn Sr. are now seen cooking...] Lynn Sr.: "With these ingredients, we could make my famous Lynn-sagna! No way they can beat that." [...as are Rosa and Ronnie Anne.] Rosa: "They won't stand a chance against my tamales!" Guy: "Don't forget, chefs. This is Kitchen Combat. So anything goes, and I mean anything!" Lynn Sr.: "Linc, why don't you sneak over there and loosen their salt shaker?" Lincoln: "Good thinking, Dad!" [He salutes and loosens Rosa's salt shaker before putting it back on the table] Rosa: "Mija, add a pinch of salt." [Ronnie Anne prepares to do so, but overdoes it due to it being loosened] Ronnie Anne: "Sorry, Abuela. It was an accident." [They overhear Lincoln and Lynn Sr. snickering to themselves] Rosa: "This was no accidente. Let's see how he likes my extra-spicy salsa!" [She hands the salsa to Ronnie Anne, who dons a heat mask and gloves, and adds a drop of salsa into the Lynn-sagna marinara. The drop is so spicy it explodes.] Lynn Sr.:[chops some tomatoes] "Here, give me a taste of that marinara, Lincoln." [Lincoln grabs the marinara spoon and puts it in Lynn Sr.'s mouth] "Hmm. Well, that doesn't taste right. It has a little bi-" [His face turns red as he starts breathing fire and runs around, screaming] Lincoln:[puzzled] "It can't be that hot." [He dips his finger into the pot to sample it and his face also turns red as he joins his dad in running around, breathing fire and screaming. Rosa and Ronnie Anne laugh at their prank as the two Louds return to normal.] Lynn Sr.:[gasps] "They messed with our marinara! You don't mess with a man's marinara!" [notices a bottle of oil] "I have a slick idea." [He starts laughing evilly before sneaking over to Rosa and spraying oil near her feet] Rosa: "Now help me spread the masa on the corn husk-" [slips on the oil] Ronnie Anne: "Are you OK, Abuela-AAAAH!" [slips on the oil as the masa falls on them] Guy: "Slippery kitchen! Now this is TV!" [Lincoln and Lynn Sr. laugh at their prank.] Lynn Sr.: "You know what they say, son: Oil's fair in love and war!" Rosa: "This'll teach you to oil my floor!" [She's holding six chanclas, three in each hand.] Ronnie Anne: "Yeah! Nail 'em with your chanclas!" [Rosa throws the chanclas at Lincoln and Lynn Sr., who duck. The chanclas knock over the marinara. They get up and taunt their opponents, but get hit with the marinara.] Lynn Sr. and Lincoln: "The Lynn-sagna!" Lynn Sr.:[having lost it] "That's it. You just got yourself uninvited from Thanksgiving!" Lincoln: "Yeah!" Rosa: "Well, thank you. Now I won't have to choke on your dry turkey, and you can forget about coming for Christmas!" Ronnie Anne: "Yeah!" Lynn Sr.: "Good! We don't like your soggy tamales anyway!" Lincoln: "Yeah!" Rosa:[gasps] "This friendship is officially over!" Lynn Sr.: "Fine by me! Lincoln, say goodbye to Ronnie Anne. Forever." Rosa: "You too, Ronnie Anne!" Lincoln and Ronnie Anne: "Wait, what?!" Lincoln: "I don't want that!" Ronnie Anne: "Me neither." Lincoln: "You guys, what are we doing? We're ruining our friendship just for some fancy kitchen?" Lynn Sr.: "Oh, you're right, Linc. We're being ridiculous. I'm sorry, Rosa. Your tamales are actually amazing." Rosa: "Well, thank you." Lynn Sr.: "Anything you wanted to, uh, add?" [Ronnie Anne nudges her abuela] Rosa: "Oh, yes, of course. Your turkey is delicious." Lynn Sr.: "Oh, heh. Well, stop." [chuckles] Guy: "NO, NO, NO!!!" [marches up to them] "Back to the fighting! There's a top-of-the-line kitchen at stake here!" Rosa: "No prize is as valuable as friendship." Lincoln: "Heck yeah!" Ronnie Anne: "Right on, Abuela!" [They hug] Crowd: "Aww!" [Matthew, the cameraman, and even the fridge are emotional] Matthew: "Ohh, I love happy endings!" Guy: "What are you doing?! Stop hugging! We still have a show to finish!" Lynn Sr.: "Who cares about your dumb show?" Rosa: "Si, here's a kitchen curveball for you: We quit." [They leave] Guy: "Wait! What if I up the prizes even more? Maybe a new car? A trip to Jamaica?" [grabs Matthew by the collar] "Matthew, stop them! If I don't deliver a show, the network will fire me!" Matthew: "Sorry, Guy. I quit!" Cameraman: "I quit too." [They leave with the cameraman throwing the camera at Guy] Guy: "Fine! Go! I guess now it's just me and the dumb refrigerator!" [Just then the angry fridge marches up to Guy, readying its many arms to beat him up in retaliation. The end.]
