The following is a transcript for the episode "Good Sports".
[At Loud House the in snowy weather, Lynn is on top of the staircase.]
Lynn: "Who's ready for some football?!" [Lynn charges down the stairs, Leni, Lola, & Luna are on the couch, but dive behind it when they hear Lynn coming. She jumps on the couch.] "Game time! Yeah! Whoo!
Luna: [Holds out the remote with a shaking hand.] "TV's all yours dude, just don't tackle us."
[Lynn switches to World Champion Football.]
Football Announcer: "World championship of football."
Leni: "Huh? That ball looks nothing like a foot."
[She, Luna and Lola leave.]
Lynn: "Guys, stay and watch with me, it's the world championship game, and the Lions are in it for the first time in twenty years baby!"
Lola: "Okay, I don't know what any of that means."
Lynn: "Well, all the teams compete in this league and-"
Lola: [Stops Lynn, and clears her throat.] "Ignorance is bliss sweetie."
Lynn: "Ah, come on," [Sits on the couch] "I'll share my lucky cheese puffs."
[Leni looks like she's gonna take the offer.]
Leni: [Seeing the teams] "Ew, the uniforms clash, I cannot watch this."
Luna: "Maybe I'll come back to see who's rockin' the half-time show." [Takes off] "Laters."
[Lola follows, as does Leni.]
Lynn: [Sighs, looks at Charles sitting next to her.] "Well Charles, looks like you're my sports buddy today." [Charles yawns and leaves.] "Ah, you don't know what you're missin' mutt. Okay, cheering sections down to one, time for my pregame ritual." [She jumps down and starts crab walking.] "Go Lions go! Go Lions go!" [Does a handstand and roars.] "Left side lucky!" [Sits on the left side of the couch and watches.] "Alright Lions, let's do this
[The Lions score a touchdown.]
Football Announcer: "Touchdown Lions."
Lynn: "Ah yeah! High-five Loud." [To herself] "You got it Loud."
[She high-fives herself, and suddenly hears something next door.]
Mr Grouse: "Ah yeah! Touchdown baby!"
Lynn: [Confused] "What? Mr. Grouse?"
[Lynn grabs her cheese puffs and heads next door, through very deep snow, she brushes it off and knocks on Mr. Grouses door.]
Mr. Grouse: [Inside] "Whatever you're sellin' I'm not buyin'."
Lynn: "No! Mr. Grouse it's me! Lynn Loud!"
Mr. Grouse: [Still inside] "I'm not buyin' what you're sellin' either."
Lynn: "I just thought I heard you watching the game."
Mr. Grouse: [Groans and opens the door.] "Well you thought right. What of it?"
Lynn: "Can I watch it with you?"
Mr. Grouse: "I suppose it beats high-fiveing myself. Come on in, TVs in the den."
Lynn: "Huh, you have a den?"
Mr. Grouse: "I don't have time for architectural small talk Loud, the game's on."
[Lynn enters, and is amazed when she enters the den, there's Lions memorabilia everywhere.]
Lynn: "Woah! Are you kidding me? This room is sick."
Mr. Grouse: "Well, I would have accepted comfy, but, okay. Have a seat."
Lynn: "Oh, in a sec." [Starts crab walking again.] "Go Lions go! Go Lions go!" [Does a handstand and roars again.]
Mr. Grouse: "What the heck are you doing?"
Lynn: "It's my lucky ritual."
Mr. Grouse: "Oh, brother."
[Mr. Grouse goes to sit down, but Lynn snags the spot he's about to take.]
Lynn: "Sorry, I need to sit on this side."
Mr. Grouse: "Let me guess, more luck?"
Mr. Grouse: [Sighs] "I'm already regretting this."
[The two watch the game, and Mr. Grouse starts smacking his lips.]
Lynn: [Annoyed] "Do you have to make that sound?."
Mr. Grouse: "Sorry, got a little pulled pork stuck in my chompers."
[Mr. Grouse continues, and Lynn, annoyed, turns the volume up. Later, Lynn is eating her cheese puffs, which starts to annoy Mr. Grouse, Lynn wipes her hand on the couch pillow.]
Mr. Grouse: "You're getting cheese dust everywhere!"
Lynn: "Want some?" [Mr. Grouse takes out a suck duster and cleans the couch, and Lynn's face, and accidentally sucks in Lynn's hat.] "My lucky hat." [She pulls it out and gets thrown off the couch, she gets up and puts her hat back on, annoyed.] "you missed a spot."
[Mr. Grouse cleans and looks at Lynn.]
Football Announcer: "And the Lions fumble."
Lynn: "Awe! Are you kidding me?." [Notices Mr. Grouse snoring away, and suck dusts his nose to wake him up.] "Come on man, it's the world championship.
Mr. Grouse: "Ah, get off my case, I'll just rewind to see what I missed."
Lynn: [Snags the remote] "What? we can't rewind, then we won't be live."
Mr. Grouse: "What's the difference?"
Lynn: "You know, maybe it's better if I watch the rest of the game at home."
Mr. Grouse: "Suit yourself."
[Lynn goes off, but suddenly hears the crowd, and Mr. Grouse, going wild. She runs back.]
Lynn: "What happened?"
Mr. Grouse: "We returned a kick, forty-one yards!"
Lynn: [In despair] "Oh, dang! I missed it."
Mr. Grouse: "Hold on, I'll rewind it, if Queen Lynn doesn't object"
Lynn: "Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it."
[Mr. Grouse rewinds]
Football Announcer: "They drive it with a stiff eye, but it's in the Rhino territory, finally brought down after a forty-one yard return."
Lynn: "Oh, man, that was a wicked run."
Mr. Grouse: "I know, uh, you can sit back down, if you want."
Lynn: "Yeah, sure," [sits] "maybe just for a minute."
[For the rest of the game Lynn and Mr. Grouse have a great time together, through the best of times, and the worst of times, and they even do Lynn's ritual together, but Mr. Grouse can't do a handstand.]
Mr. Grouse: "My back!"
[Soon the game is about to end.]
Football Announcer: "Ten seconds left, and the score is tied, if the Rhinos can move the ball close enough, they can make a field goal and win." [Lynn and Mr. Grouse are very nervous.] "From the shotgun." [The Rhino player passes the ball to the quarterback and he throws it, but a Lion catches it.] "It's a Lion interception, and he's running it in for a touchdown. Lions win! The World Champions!"
[Lynn and Mr. Grouse go wild, and Lynn starts shaking her butt.]
Lynn: "Don't just stand there G-man, shake it." [Continues dancing] "Dance or the Lions won't win next year."
Mr. Grouse: "What? That's out of nonsense."
Lynn: "It's not nonsense it's fun, just copy me." [Shakes her butt again]
Mr. Grouse: "Eh, looks easy enough, I'll give it a try." [Dances like Lynn]
Lynn: "Now you're doing it." [Cheers]
Mr. Grouse: "Whoo-hoo! I feel so alive!"
[Picks up Lynn's cheese puffs and shakes the bag over his head, making it snow cheese, which Lynn enjoys. Soon, Lynn gets her coat on.]
Lynn: "Thanks again for inviting me over."
Mr. Grouse: "Technically, you invited yourself, I just let you stay."
Lynn: [Notices something on the shelf.] "Woah, cool ball."
Mr. Grouse: "That? That's my most prized possession, it's from the very first Lions game Mrs. Grouse and I went to when we were dating."
Lynn: "Huh, they had football back then?"
Mr. Grouse: [Sarcastically] "Yes Miss Smarty Pants. Hey check this out, I got the QB to sign it, look at that."
Lynn: [Gasps] "He's in the hall of fame now." [Bows down] "I'm not worthy, I'm not worthy."
Mr. Grouse: [Laughs, and picks up an old photo of himself and Mrs. Grouse.] "Ah, Mrs. G was the only person I knew who was as big a Lions fan as me." [Puts the picture back] "Until now." [Admires his ball] "You know what?" [Picks it up] "I want you to have this, Mrs. Grouse would want it to be in such good hands."
Lynn: [Amazed] "Wow, thank you Mr. Grouse, this is the best gift I've ever gotten. I have to give you something special." [Thinks, she gets an idea and takes her shoe off. She offers her socks to Mr. Grouse.] "Here, my lucky socks."
Mr. Grouse: [Kind of revolted, pinches his nose.] "Wow, you wore these the whole season, didn't you?" [Lynn nods. Mr. Grouse gets a grabber and takes the socks.] "Thanks Loud."
[Lynn walks out.]
Lynn: "So, guess I'll see you next season?"
Mr. Grouse: "You betcha."
Lynn: [Gets another idea] "You know, baseball season is only a few weeks away."
Mr Grouse: "I was thinking the same thing. Opening day?"
Lynn: "It's a date." [Goes home]
[Weeks later, the snow has melted, and Lynn is wearing an orange uniform, and pumped for baseball season.]
Lynn: "Who's ready for some baseball?!"
[Lynn charges down the stairs, Leni, Lola, & Luna are on the couch, and dive behind it when they hear Lynn coming again. Luna holds out the remote with a shaking hand.]
Luna: "TV's all yours dude, just don't slap our butts."
Lynn: "Ah, thanks, but you guys can stay, I found a sports buddy so for the next hundred and eighty games, I'll be hangin' with Mr. Grouse. Laters" [Heads out]
Lola: "Hmm, guess I taped this pillow to my butt for nothing."
[Lynn excitedly hurries to Mr. Grouse's place, and knocks on the door, he answers, wearing a blue uniform.]
Lynn: "Let's go volcanos!"
Mr. Grouse: "Give 'em what for meteors."
[They realize and gasp.]
Lynn: "You're a Meteor's fan?"
Mr. Grouse: "You're a Volcano's fan? Awe!"
Lynn: "But, they're bitter rivals."
[The two squint at each other.]
Mr. Grouse: [Looking past it] "Eh, come on, we'll make it work."
[They enter the den.]
Baseball Announcer: "Welcome to opening day, and the first of a three game series, between the Volcanoes and the Meteors."
Lynn: "You and your Meteors are going down."
Mr. Grouse: "In your dreams."
[The Volcanoes are up to bat, the pitcher throws, and batter hits, Lynn and Mr. Grouse watch with anticipation.]
Lynn: "Ah yeah, base hit, game on."
[Later, the umpire catches the ball, Lynn is sad, and Mr. Grouse is excited.]
Baseball Announcer: "Strike three, there is no stopping this Meteor's pitcher." [Mr. Grouse blows raspberries at Lynn. Later, a Volcano gets a home run.] "And he's safe at home, one to nothing Volcanos."
Lynn: "Whoo! In your face, G-man."
[Mr. Grouse grumbles to himself. Later.]
Baseball Announcer: "And that ball is out of here, it's a two run homer."
Mr. Grouse: [Laughs] "In your own face, kid."
[Lynn groans. Later, they're both cringing their foam fingers, with aggravated expressions.]
Baseball Announcer: "Home run!" [Lynn breaks her finger and Mr. Grouse cheers.] "Meteors win."
[Mr. Grouse starts doing Lynn's victory dance.]
Lynn: "Hey! Get your own ding-dang moves, that's my victory dance."
Mr. Grouse: "Well you won't need it as long as you're a Volcano's fan."
Lynn: "Ooh! That does it!" [Storms off, and returns with the football Mr. Grouse gave her.] "Here, you can have this back, I don't want any presents from traitors."
Mr. Grouse: "Uh, fantastic, you can have your dumb smelly socks back to."
[Dumps them on Lynn's head.]
Lynn: "You know what? We're done here." [Storms off again]
Mr. Grouse: "We were done when you showed up in the wrong jersey."
[Lynn returns home.]
[On the day of the next game, Lynn is watching on the Loud's TV. Lola walks by.]
Lola: "Ooh, you're watching baseball here? I thought Mr. Grouse was your sports buddy now."
Lynn: "Yeah, that didn't work out," [Starts yelling] "Cause someone's a traitor!"
Mr. Grouse: [Yells back] "Takes one to know one Loud!"
Lynn: "Stay and watch the game with me Lols, I'll explain the rules to you." [Lola walks upstairs.] "See, there are nine defensive players on the diamond, and-"
[The word diamond gets Lola's attention.]
Lola: "A diamond you say? How many karats is it? Who wears it? A pretty princess in a pink gown?"
Lynn: "What? No, no, no, a diamond is another term for the field, now the pitcher-"
Lola: "Yeah, no, you should stick with Mr. Grouse."
[Lola goes upstairs, and Lynn is bummed, then sees Charles asleep on the couch, Charles sees Lynn, and goes, Lynn is even more sad.]
Baseball Announcer: "Welcome to game two of the Volcanos and the Meteors series." [Lynn looks next door, and sighs. Later.] "Ooh, that's a shot, going back, that ball's outta here, a Volcano's home run!"
Lynn: "Aw, yeah! Up high Loud!" [To herself] "You got it Loud." [High-fives herself again]
Baseball Announcer: [While the crowd cheers.] "And the fans are going crazy."
[In the crowd, a girl high-fives her father, Lynn looks at her own hands and then looks next door, she sighs. Later, she is cringing.]
Baseball Announcer: "And the Meteors turn an incredible double play."
Mr. Grouse: [From next door] "Woohoo! Give 'em what for, Meteors!"
[Lynn is annoyed at first, but then goes over to the window.]
Lynn: "Hey, uh, nice double play!"
[Lynn doesn't get an answer and starts back to the couch, when suddenly.]
Mr. Grouse: "Thanks Loud! That was a sweet homer before!"
[Lynn excitedly goes back to the TV.]
Baseball Announcer: "Strike three and another Meteor goes down swinging."
Lynn: [Goes back to the window.] "Gonna be a quick game if you guys can't hit."
Mr. Grouse: "Well I don't see your Vollame-os puttin' up any more runs."
Lynn: [Laughs] "That was pretty good."
[Later, Lynn has turned the TV in the direction of the window, and is sitting there eating her cheese puffs.]
Baseball Announcer: "The Meteors are up to bat. Home run, Meteors!"
[Lynn is bummed out.]
Mr. Grouse: "That's what I'm talking about." [To Lynn] "Awfully quiet over there, aren't ya?"
Lynn: "Just giving you a chance to celebrate, cause you aren't gettin' another."
Mr. Grouse: "Are we gonna do this all day? Grab your cheese puffs and get over here." [Lynn does so. She hurries to Mr. Grouse's.] "If only your Volcanos could run bases as fast as you."
[They go into the den.]
Baseball Announcer: "Another Meteor strikes out."
Lynn: "Whoo! I can feel the breeze from here."
Mr. Grouse: [Laughs] "That's a good one." [They share the cheese puffs.] "I know baseball season just started, but uh, what are you doin' in the fall? You like hockey?"
Lynn: "Do I?"
[The two friends high-five.]
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