The following is a transcript for the episode "Gown and Out".
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The episode starts at Royal Woods Elementary, where they are hosting the Little Miss Royal Woods Pageant.] Cheryl: "Welcome back to the Little Miss Royal Woods Pageant. Up next, we are kicking off the talent portion with Lola Loud and her famous ribbon dance!" [A spotlight shines on Lola as she twirls her ribbon in the air.] Lola: "It's Lola." [She performs the ribbon dance as her family (except Lori) cheers her on.] Lincoln: "Notice how the ribbon never touches the floor. Sign of a real pro."
[The interview portion] Cheryl: "How would you define true beauty?" Lola: "To me, true beauty means having big hair and an even bigger heart." Crowd:[touched] "Awwwwww!" Lincoln: "Yes! Perfect balance of sap and sass." Lynn: "Ok, how do you know this junk?" Lincoln: "Do you seriously not remember when I was the twins' pageant coach?" [notices something] "Shhh! They're announcing the winner!" Cheryl: "And your next Little Miss Royal Woods is...!" [The audience gasps in shock] "You guessed it." [The audience gasps again] "Lola!" Lola:[surprised] "Whaaat?" [Cheryl places the crown on top of Lola's head as the audience cheers.]
[Backstage, Lola appears in the scene and meets up with her family.] Rita: "Oh, we are so proud of you, sweetie!" Lola: "Thanks, you guys. It was nothing." Cheryl:[comes in with some papers] "I have some exciting news, sweetie. Winning this title qualifies you for the Little Miss Southeastern Michigan Pageant!" Lola:[surprised to hear this and takes the papers] "Wha-? A-A regional pageant? I've never competed at that level before." Cheryl: "Pack your bags! Cause it's a coming up next weekend!" Lola: "Wow!" Lynn Sr.: "Next weekend? I have my pastry workshop." Rita: "And I have my dental conference." Lola: "Butā¦ But it's my first shot at the big time!" [Rita and Lynn Sr. then thought of something and look at Lori.] Lori:[Holding her phone] "Are you looking at me? I can feel you looking at me. Uh, look, no offense, but being a pageant chaperone... isn't really how I planned to spend my weekend." Rita: "What if we threw in a spa package? Hmm?" [Lori perks up at the mention of that.] Lori: "You literally have a deal." Lola:[cheers at this and hugs Lori] "Thanks, Lori!"
[Next weekend comes with Lori and Lola at the Caribou Suites Hotel. Lori is carrying Lola's luggage.] Lola: "Lola Loud, checking in for Little Miss Southeastern Michigan." [Notices other pageant participants texting on their phones.] "Hi, I'm Lola. Isn't it exciting to be competing in the big leagues?" Chinah: "Well, not as exciting as nationals last year. It could be fun. Hi, I'm Chinah, with two H's." Jackie: "She holds the record for the most titles won before age 7." Chinah: "Oh, that's nothing. Jackie here does toothpaste commercials." [Jackie shows her pearly whites.] Claudette: "And my name is Claudette." Lola: "Woah! Are those sequins French crystal?" Claudette: "Oui. All of my gowns are made in Paris. Aren't yours?" [Lola chuckles nervously] Lori:[off-screen] "Come on, Lola, I've got our room key." Lola: "Heh, oh darn. Gotta run." [dashes off] "Okay, okay, stay cool, Lola. Just 'cause these girls have fancy dresses, shiny teeth, and names with extra letters doesn't mean you can't compete with them, heh!" [Groans while Lori struggles to carry the luggage, and ends up tripping backward.]
[Lola and Lori are outside Ballroom A where the pageant rehearsals are.] Lori: "Well, good luck at rehearsal. Not that you need it." Lola: "Thanks, sis. Enjoy your spa day." Lori: "Ah, believe me. I will." [Scene changes to her at the spa] "What do you mean you're full? Can't you please squeeze me in? I'll take your worst masseuse." Clerk: "Mmm, I'm afraid Greg's booked, too. We had like 12 pageant moms request deep tissue." Lori:[sighs] "Yeah, I get that. It's okay. I'll just try again tomorrow." [leaves] Pageant Mom:[off-screen] "Ow! Greg, that's my spleen!"
[Back with Lola...] Dana: "Next up, talent! Jackie, let's see your gymnastics routine." Lola: "Oh, tumbling. Cute." [Jackie begins her routine] Dana: "And there she goes! Giant swing with a full release! She spins 360 degrees and a half turn with climb, jump, and a handstand!" [She does all that as Lola watches all this incredulously and gasps in amazement] Jackie:[walks backstage] "Eh, not my best." Dana: "Next up, we have Lola performing... Oh, a-a ribbon dance. Cute." [Lola nervously walks up with her ribbon, which gets caught in a nail on the floorboard, sending her flying backward.]
[Later on...] Dana: "What is the single most significant event in human history?" Chinah: "Great question! It depends whether we approach from a socioeconomic or geopolitical perspective." Lola:[decides to bail after hearing this.] "Gah, excuse me! Excuse me!" [pushes past the other girls]
[Lori is watching The Dream Boat in the hotel room when Lola comes in.] Lori: "Oh, hey, beauty queen." [turns the TV off] "How were rehearsals? Did you kill it?" Lola:[feigns] "Uh... yeah. You know it. Crown's in the bag. Uh... I'm just gonna go steam my pores for tomorrow." [Lola walks into the bathroom as Lori turns her show back on and eats her snack. In the bathroom, Lola sighs, turns on the sink, and sulks against the bathtub as she calls Lincoln on her phone. Cue split screen.] Lincoln: "Lola, what's wrong?" [gasps] "Did your hair fall flat?" Lola: "No, it's not my hair. It's the other contestants. They're... um..." [whispers it into the phone.] Lincoln: "What was that?" Lola: "They're... BETTER than I am! What if I don't win? What if I looo... loooo... ooooo..." [retches] "I can't even say it without getting nauseous!" [End split screen] Lincoln: "Lola, you're not going to lose! You're a pageant powerhouse!" [Cut to Lola walking up to the mirror] "Now make sure you get to bed early tonight" [Back to Lincoln] "You don't want to wake up all puffy eyed and blotchy." Lola: "Yeah, yeah..." [picks up an eyeliner and gets an idea.] "Or do I...?"
[The next morning, Lori is waking up from her sleep and then sees Lola pretending to be sick by having red spots all over her face, via makeup.] Lori: "Ah!" [gasps] "Lola! What happened?" Lola:[fake coughs and imitates a scratched up voice.] "I don't know. I do feel a little under the weather, but, the pageant must go on." Lori:[lays Lola back down] "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You are clearly sick." [sits on her bed] "I'm so sorry, Lola, I know how much you wanted to compete but, you just can't." Lola:[sighs] "That's alright. I'll get over it, someday." [Her expression changes to a happy tone.] "Well, enjoy the spa." Lori: "Pssh, forget the spa. I am staying right here. Maybe a fun sister day will help cheer you up." Lola: "What?! No! Y-Y-You don't have to do that." Lori: "I know I don't have to, I want to." [hops off her bed] "Now, sit tight. I'm gonna hit the gift shop for supplies." [Lola whimpers]
[Later, Lola's bed is crowded with heart-shaped balloons and flowers. Lori enters.] Lori: "I'm back~!" [gasps] "Oh, good, the flowers and balloons arrived. First up, mani-pedis." [holds out two] "I got coral and sea foam. You get first pick. Lola: 'Whoa, these are the fancy brand." Lori: "What's money when you have a sick sister?" Lola: "Ugh." Lori:[on the phone] "Room service? I'd like two chocolate chip cookies. Warm please, with your coldest milk." Lola: "But those cookies are $5.95 each!" Lori: "What else am I going to do with my really hard earned babysitting money?" [Lola looks down sadly.]
[Lola is in a bathrobe and Lori pops out the bathroom, holding a crown made out of toilet paper and its used up rolls.] Lori: "And, the winner of the Little Miss Unsightly Skin Rash Pageant is... Miss Lola Loud!" [singing] "ā«Oh, Little Miss Unsightly Skin Rashā«" [scatting] [Lori places the makeshift crown on Lola's head, and moves her along the bed. And right then, Lola starts crying, unable to take this anymore.] Lori: "Lola! What's wrong? Is your condition getting worse?" Lola:[pushes Lori away] "No, I don't have a condition, unless you count being a terrible person." [throws the crown to the floor] "I'm not really sick. I faked all this with makeup to get out of the pageant." [sniffles] Lori: "But why? I don't understand." Lola:[sits on the bed] "Well, I've never competed at this level before, and the other girls are really talented. I couldn't stand the idea of lo--lo--lo... [retches] Lori: "Losing?" Lola: "Yeah, that thing. I'm sorry I lied. I understand if you're mad." Lori:[sits next to her] "Actually, Lols, I'm not." Lola: "Really?" Lori: "No, I get it. I almost skipped homecoming because I was worried I wouldn't win queen." [Flashback to Lori that day in her bedroom looking gloom in front of her mirror, she then looks at her dress.] "But... in the end, I sucked it up, put on my dress, and went anyway." [Flashback Lori grabs her dress. End of flashback.] "And I'm so glad I did." Lola:[Slightly confused] "But, I thought Carol Pingrey won homecoming queen?" Lori: "Oh, she totally did," [Flashback to Carol receiving her crown, and Lori looking on with disappointment.] "and it definitely hurt at first." [Just then, her beloved Boo-Boo-Bear offers her his hand.] "But, if I hadn't have gone, I would have missed out on an amazing night." [Bobby pulls his beloved Babe onto the dance floor and the two have an amazing night. End of flashback.] "The competition is going to get tougher as you get older, but you can't let it stop you from-" Lola:[Finishing Lori's sentence] "Doing what makes me happy?" Lori: "Exactly! So what do you say? You still wanna do this thing? Lola:[Remorseful] "Yes, but it's too late. The pageant starts in ten minutes and look at me, I'm a complete disaster." Lori: "Don't worry, I'm calling an expert." [Pulls out her phone, and speed dials Lincoln.]
[And soā¦] Lincoln: "Okay Lori, grab a makeup wipe, the one with the green tea extract. We don't need to be irritating the skin right now." Lori:[Following Lincoln's instructions] "One with green tea extract, check." Lincoln: "And, start warming up the curling iron while you're at it." [Lori does so, but Lincoln groans.] "The one inch barrel, not the three quarters? Have you ever heat styled before, woman?"
[That night at the pageant.] Dana: "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Little Miss Southeastern Michigan Pageant." [Starts singing] "ā«Beautiful girls, I'm talking 'bout the beautiful girrrrls.ā«" [Backstage, Lola is quivering with fear.] "ā«Just crazy for the beautiful girrrrrrrrls.ā«" Lori: "Go get 'em, Lola." Lincoln:[Through video chat] "Remember; eyes forward, chin up, tushy clenched." [Lola smiles warmly.] Dana: "Let's meet our contestants" [Lola hurries onstage to join the others; singing] "ā«Let's hear it for these beautiful girrrrrrls.ā«" [The crowd applauds.]
[Later on in the pageantā¦] Dana: "Lola Loud and her ribbon dance." [She gives Lola the stage. Lola spins her ribbon and performs like there's nothing to it.] Lincoln: "It's like she's one with the ribbon." Lori: "Literally."
[Later, it's time for the interview.] Lola: "As partial as I am to a sparkly tiara, I'd have to say that a girl's most important accessory isā¦ her brain." [The audience adores Lola.] Audience: "A good answer!" Lincoln: "Yes!" Lori: "So good."
[The pageant is almost concluded.] Dana: "Ladies and gentlemen, the results are in. Can we please bring out all our ā«beautiful girrrrlsā«?" [Said beautiful girls come out on stage, hands in hands, and the audience cheers.] "The second runner up to Little Miss Southeastern Michigan is... Claudette!" [Claudette is honored and steps up, the other girls, and Lola, clap for her, and rejoin hands when the announcer continues.] "The first runner up iiiissssssss... Jackie!" [Jackie does what Claudette did.] Lola:[To herself] "Oh my gosh, one left. I could win. I could still-" Dana: "And your next Little Miss Southeastern Michigan iiiiiiiissssssssssssssss..." [Lola gains confidence] "Chinah!" [Lola is now disappointed. Chinah goes up and receives her sash.] "She's Little Miss Southeastern Michigan!" [Lola is still bummed that she lost a beauty pageant for the first time in her entire career, but claps anyway. She then looks over to her chaperone and her coach.] Lori: "Lols." [in unison with Lincoln] "You were so great, Lola." Lincoln: "Way to go." Lola:[Feeling a lot better] "Congratulations, Chinah." [The crowd applauds.] Audience: "Good job, Chinah."
[The pageant is over. Lola slides to Lori and gives her a big hug.] Lori: "Aww, you done good out there, sis." Lincoln: "Your best work since last fall's Little Miss Fusion Cuisine Pageant." Lola: "Thanks guys. You were right, Lori. Even though I lo-, lo-." [Sighs, knowing she can't say it, and then smiles.] "didn't win." [eye twitches] "I'm really glad I did it." Jackie: "Nice job, Lola, we're gonna have to watch out for you next year." [Casually leaves] Lincoln: "Speaking of next year, Lola, I think we should add some tumbling moves to your ribbon dance, I'll-" [Lori turns her phone, and her brother, off.] Lori: "Goodbye, Lincoln. Now come on." [takes Lola's hand and the two sisters leave the stage] "You and I are going to hit the spa for some well deserved pampering. Word of advice though: do not ask for Greg."
