The following is a transcript for the episode "Homeward Bound."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The episode opens with someone setting up a "WELCOME HOME LORI!" banner] Lynn Sr.: "A little higher on the right. Little higher. Now a little lower." [The Louds are setting up decorations to welcome Lori back, with Lynn Sr. and Lana putting up the banner with Todd's help] "A little lower. It has to be perfect for Lori." [Lucy, Leni, Luna, and Luan are setting up balloons, with Lola chasing Charles for stealing her balloons.] Lincoln:[to the viewers] "It's a big day in the Loud House. Lori's taking a gap year from college and moving back home while she decides if golf is really her future. Which is awesome because Lori's always kinda been the glue that holds us together. Even Mr. Grouse is psyched." [Mr. Grouse is holding a set of golf clubs from 1974] Mr. Grouse: "Hey, Louds! I found these old clubs while cleaning out my garage. Maybe Lori can help me practice my swing." [He prepares to hit a teed-up golf ball, but he swings off-balance and lets go of his club. Lynn Sr. ducks in panic as it sails over him, and he loses balance and falls off the ladder, tearing the banner in half.] Rita: "Honey, are you alright?" [Lynn Sr. can only groan in pain. Just then honking is heard and Rita gasps] "She's here. It's her!" [The siblings eagerly rush out] Lynn: "She's back!" [Lynn Sr. stands up with half of the banner wrapped around him.] Lynn Sr.: "Lori!" [He bursts free from it and joins the rest of the family. Lori has parked Eliza on the curb with her golf clubs and several boxes tied to the roof, and is leaving with a suitcase.] Lori: "It's literally so good to be home..." [The others show up to greet her] "Huh?" Lynn Sr.: "Welcome back, sweetie!" [All the family swarms Lori and sweep her up in a familynado before dragging her inside the house. Inside, the siblings chatter over each other to Lori before Lynn Sr. shows up with a cake.] "Lori, look. I baked you a cake with a surprise inside. It's candy. D'oh, I ruined it!" Leni: "And don't worry, Lori. I made room for you in the closet. Tanya will just have to wear her winter clothes." [shows Tanya] Lana: "And I soundproofed the bathroom so you can let 'em rip. You won't have to run the faucet anymore." Lori:[scoffs] "Lana!" Lincoln: "Guys, back up. Give Lori some space." [The family does so] "She lives here now, so we'll all have plenty of time with her." Lori: "Uh... actually, about that, I'll only be staying here temporarily." [Everyone gasps, with Lynn Sr. dropping his cake] "It's just, now that I've been on my own for a while, I feel like I need my own space, so I'm gonna find a realtor to help me look for an apartment." Lynn Sr.:[breaks down sobbing] "WHYYYYYYYYYY?!" [runs into the kitchen to sob some more] "WHY-Y-YYYYYY?!" [Rita hurries into the kitchen to comfort her husband, who can still be heard sobbing in the background.] Lincoln:[feigning happiness] "That's, um, amazing. Love that for you. You know, I just realized I forgot to make my bed. Can everyone except for Lori give me a hand? Fitted sheets are so tricky." [He zooms up the stairs to his room, with the other sisters sheepishly grinning and joining him. Just then a golf ball whizzes through the windows and hits Lori in the cheek.] Lori: "Ow!" [The culprit is Mr. Grouse] Mr. Grouse:[chuckles] "Told you I needed help with my swing." [A sibling meeting occurs in Lincoln's room] Lincoln: "This is terrible!" Lynn: "The worst!" Lana: "It stinks!" Lincoln: "We just got Lori back. We can't lose her again so fast. There has to be some way to get her to stay." Lucy: "We can lock her in a coffin in the basement." Lisa:[takes out a pipette filled with venom] "Or use the numbing properties of jellyfish venom to incapacitate her." [She accidentally drops a drop of jellyfish venom on her left leg and collapses due to her left leg getting numb.] Lincoln: "Wait, Lori said she was gonna find a realtor. But what if we find her a realtor who only shows her the worst possible places to live?" Lynn: "How are we supposed to pull that off?" Lincoln: "Oh, I don't know." [knowingly to Luan] "Are there any actors in the family?" [Everyone looks at Luan, who gleefully grins at the chance to put her skills to good use.] Luan: "Luan Loud, thespian, at your service." [bows] Lincoln: "OK, Operation Sabotage Lori's Apartment Hunt So She'll Stay Forever is a go."
NEXT DAY... [Lori drives up to Luxury Living Apartments. Waiting for her is the "realtor", Sunny Holmes, who is actually Luan in disguise.] Luan:[in her natural voice] "You must be Lori." [realizes and clears throat] "I mean..." [in Cristina Pucelli's natural voice] "You must be Lori. Sunny Holmes, at your service." [shakes Lori's hand so vigorously her left arm is bent up] "If the homes aren't sunny, they aren't Sunny Holmes's homes." [laughs in her natural laugh] Lori: "Hmm. Your laugh sounds so familiar..." Sunny: "Oh, uh, that's not my laugh. This is my laugh." [laughs deeply] [Lori is disturbed by "Sunny's" laugh.] Lori: "Well, thanks for meeting with me. I still can't believe I found your flier on my car. I was literally just looking for a realtor." Sunny: "It's fate! Now, are you ready to make your apartment dreams come true?" Lori: "Yes! This place looks amazing. Are you sure I can afford it?" Sunny: "Oh, this one? Definitely not. This is my place, but don't worry. I have some real gems to show you, just a stone's throw from here, so why don't you drive? It'll give you that sense of coming home." [makes Lori take the driver's seat] "Oh, you're gonna love the first one. It's a cozy studio with a waterfront view."
[Lori drives to Tall Timbers Park] Lori: "Wow. The view is nice, but where is the apartment?" Sunny: "It's right here." [shows it's a van] "I just love the hip, retro vibe." [opens the trunk] "And look at all this natural light." Lori: "There's a hole in the ceiling." Sunny: "That's called a skylight. Very hard to find." Lori: "Uh, and where's the bathroom?" Sunny: "What better place for when nature calls than nature itself?" Lori: "Um, right. What else have you got?" Sunny: "Follow me." [As they leave, the camera pans to a nearby bush. It turns out the van is Chunk's, with Luna and Chunk peeking out of the bush.] Luna: "It worked. Thanks for letting us use your van, Chunk." Chunk: "Guess not everyone's suited for the hardcore rock n' roll life, eh?" [walks out of the bush, revealing he's wearing swim trunks and is carrying bath supplies] "Well, time for my bath." [dives into the lake]
[Sunset Canyon] Sunny: "Now, if you don't mind roommates, this is the place for you." [opens a door] "The tenant, a real sweetheart, is looking for a subletter while her boyfriend is on tour. He's a DJ." [Lori gasps in shock as she notices fake teeth in a cup of water and a DJ set at a corner. She then looks at a portrait, confirming it's Scoots and Tyler's room.] Lori: "Hard pass!" [runs off] Luan:[drops voice] "I thought so."
[Lori pulls up to the Royal Woods Cemetery] Lori: "Uh, the cemetery?" [She and Sunny walk up to a crypt] Sunny: "Just picture waking up in this one-bedroom gem." [Lori gasps at the crypt] "Isn't it to die for?" Lori: "You gotta be kidding." [Just then a swarm of bats emerges from the crypt and chases Lori away. Luan grins at this. Lucy emerges from the crypt and gives Luan a thumbs-up as Fangs lands on her arm.]
[Now Sunny and Lori are at the dumpster] Sunny: "Sure, sure, this place needs a little love, but it has oodles of potential." Lori: "Um, this is a dump. Literally." Sunny: "I hear you, I hear you. But, hey, the rental market in Royal Woods is crazy right now. And this place comes with a free mattress." [She gestures to a tattered mattress. Suddenly a rat bursts out of the mattress, causing Lori to yelp.] Lori: "You have to have something better than this." Sunny: "Hmm. Ooh, you're in luck. I do have one last listing. How are you with alligators?" Lori:[can't take it anymore] "Ugh!"
[That night at the Loud House, Lori has settled into her old room as Lincoln, Lucy, Leni, Luna, and Lily (who is sucking on her rattle) accompany her.] Lincoln:[feigning sympathy] "Oh, sorry your apartment hunt was a bust, but we're happy you're back." Lori: "Yeah, it's gonna be fine. I'll save money, and I can be with you guys." [enters her closet to put her clothes inside] [Enter Luan, who's back in her normal outfit but still has the Sunny Holmes wig on] Luan: "Hey! Hope I didn't miss anything exciting while I was definitely away at play practice all day long." [Lincoln and the sisters all gasp at Luan's wig, and Lily throws her rattle and knocks Luan's wig off. Everyone sighs in relief as Lori comes out of the closet.] Lori: "Well, I'm exhausted. I think I'll go to bed early. I could really use a good night's sleep."
[Later that night, Lori can't sleep a wink because of Leni's loud snoring] Leni:[having another fashion nightmare] "Acid wash jeans..." [snores] "Five-toed shoes..." [grunts] "Skorts..." [realizes] "Actually, those are back in." [resumes snoring] [Lori grunts in frustration and turns to the other side of her bed... only to find that Tanya is her bedmate. She shrieks at this and falls out of her bed.]
[The next morning, at sunrise, Lori is in the kitchen and having a video call with Bobby on her laptop.] Lori: "Ugh, Boo-Boo Bear, it was horrible. Thanks to Tanya and Leni, I got zero sleep last night. I literally have bags under my eyes." [shows her eyebags, but is met with silence] "Um, that's your cue to tell me I look beautiful." [More silence] "Hello? Boo-Boo Bear? Why are you making that face?" [Bobby's video is frozen before his video crashes with a "BAD CONNECTION" sign.] "Ugh! Frozen again?! What is up with the Wi-Fi?!" [leaves the kitchen] "Hey, who's hogging all the... Wi-Fi..." [Unfortunately, her siblings and Todd are hogging the Wi-Fi for their own purposes; Lynn is watching TV, Lola's on her own laptop, Lincoln's playing a video game, Todd, Lana, and Lily are on their tablets, Lisa is texting on her phone, and Leni's on a phone call] Leni: "Bye, Fiona!" [Lori groans and heads back to the kitchen.]
[That night, a car culls up and Lori gets out from the passengers' seat] Lori:[to her friends] "Bye, you guys! I had the best time. Let's make sushi Saturdays a thing." [Unfortunately, as soon as she steps on the porch, a security system activates and blares an alarm.] Security System: "INTRUDER. INTRUDER." [The system deploys a laser and shoots Lori. Lisa steps outside] Lisa: "My B. I forgot to tell you about my new security system." [Lori groans and collapses.]
THE NEXT NIGHT... Lori:[comes downstairs] "Hey, what's for dinner? I'm starv...ing..." [Unfortunately, her siblings are so hungry they're all done with dinner. Todd is trying to eat a hamburger, Lisa, Lola, and Luan are exhausted, and Lincoln is stuffing himself with chicken and is about to eat another when he notices Lori and awkwardly chuckles. Lori can only stare with her mouth agape.] Lynn Sr.: "I tried to stop them, but it was like feeding time at the zoo." [Lana is gnawing on his right arm, but he shakes her off] "There is some leftover pizza in the fridge." [A burp is heard] Lynn:[leaving] "Sorry, I ate that." Lori:[sighs] "I'll just go grab a power bar." Lynn: "Oh, yeah, I ate those, too." [Lori groans] "What? It's bulking season." Lori: "Ugh! Whatever. I'm too excited to eat. I have an interview for a job at the Burnt Bean tomorrow morning. I want to make absolutely sure I get enough sleep, which means Tanya will have to take the couch tonight." [Leni has brought Tanya with her to the dining table and gasps in horror. Tanya's head falls off and lands on her spaghetti.]
THE NEXT DAY... [Lori wakes up on a bright and sunny day. She yawns and heads down to the kitchen with a cup of coffee. Leni is on her phone while Lincoln is eating soup.] Lori: "Ah, good morning, fam." [realizes] "Lincoln, why are you eating tomato soup for breakfast?" Lincoln: "Because it's lunch." [Lori drops her mug in shock and looks at the clock. It's indeed almost 12:00 PM.] Leni: "You said you needed a lot of sleep, so I turned off your alarm and made sure everyone was super quiet all morning. You're welcome." Lori:[panicking] "NOOOOOO!!!! I'm three hours late for my interview!" [frantically rushes to the bathroom, where Lana is in the bathtub] "Lana, out! I need the shower!" Lana: "Eh, no can do. The drain's clogged. I'm snaking it right now." [And she means it literally, as she takes out El Diablo.] Lori:[yelps] "No!" [rushes to her room] "Forget the shower!" [She frantically throws out Tanya and some clothes and gets dressed before heading downstairs. Downstairs, Lynn Sr. takes out another cake] Lynn Sr.: "Surprise, Lori!" Lori:[rushing downstairs] "Dad, look out!" [runs into the cake, getting some of it stuck on her hair] "Sorry!" [leaves] Lynn Sr.:[disappointed] "Aw, it was candy-filled. Again." [Lori rushes out the door and accidentally falls into a grave Lucy is digging] Lori: "WHYYYY?!" Lucy: "The eternal question." [Lori climbs out the grave, gets in Eliza, and drives off.]
[Later, Lori comes back, still dirtied up. The other siblings gasp at her appearance.] Lincoln:[nervously] "So, how did it go?" Lori:[angry] "How does it look like it went?" Leni:[obliviously cheerful] "Ooh, a guessing game. Let's see, running mascara, ugly cry-face..." Lori: "It was terrible. I literally bombed." Lisa: "Was it because you used the word 'literally' incorrectly?" Lori:[sobs] "Let's face it, this living situation is so not working out. But there are, like, zero apartments avail. Maybe taking a gap year was a mistake." [sniffles; the siblings all groan nervously and look at each other guiltily] "Why is everyone exchanging guilty looks?" Lincoln: "Lori, there's something we need to tell you. This is all our fault. Sunny Holmes isn't real. She's Luan." [Luan dons her Sunny Holmes wig and chuckles sheepishly.] Lori:[twitches, livid] "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" [The force of her yell is so strong it causes the cake stuck on her hair to fly off, knocks off Luan's wig, and blows Lily away like a tumbleweed. She then grabs Lincoln by the collar and pulls him close.] "Explain. Now!" Lincoln: "We were so excited when we thought you were moving back, and we didn't want to lose you again. So we sabotaged your apartment hunt. We're really sorry." Lori:[sighs as she puts her brother down] "Classic. I should have known." [wipes the mascara off her face] Luan: "Oh, don't blame yourself. I gave an extremely realistic performance. In fact, I just sold Cheryl and Meryl a lakefront vacation house." Lincoln: "I guess we didn't realize how hard it would be for you to live at home again. Please don't give up on Royal Woods. New plan: We'll find you a legit realtor. Right, guys?" [The other sisters surround Lori and chatter over each other in agreement.]
[Later, outside the house, the family sees Lori off as she finishes packing.] Lori:[strains] "Ah. Welp, I'm all packed." Lynn Sr.: "I made you a couple of Lynn-sagnas to put in the freezer." [hands the Lynn-sagnas to Lori] "Your new place does have a freezer, right?" Lori: "Of course. It's really cute. You're gonna love it." Rita: "Remember, you're welcome to do your laundry here anytime." Lori: "I know. Thanks, Mom." [heads to her car] [Lynn Sr. tries to hold back his tears, but then breaks down sobbing into Rita's arms. The siblings bid Lori farewell as she drives off...] Lori's Siblings: "We'll miss you!" "Good luck!" [...only for her to pull up into Mr. Grouse's driveway.] Louds: "Huh?!" Lori: "Oh, I totally forgot to mention. I noticed Mr. Grouse cleaning out his garage, and I convinced him to rent it to me. Even better, he said I can pay him in golf lessons." [takes out a garage remote and reveals it's her new "apartment"] "This way, I can have my independence, and you guys can still see me whenever you want." [The Louds get excited and dash over to see Lori in her new garage/apartment, trampling over Mr. Grouse's flowers.] Mr. Grouse: "Hey! Mind the azaleas! Don't make me regret this, Louds!" [Iris out on his face. The end.]
