The following is a transcript for the episode "House Flip".
Note: Scenes cut off from British re-runs are underlined.
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The Loud kids are chatting with excitement while jumping in to Vanzilla.] Lucy: "I can't wait to get out of here." Leni: "Seriously, who took my sunglasses?" [Lori closes the door and, while trying not to pay attention, checks her rear view mirror. She is about to drive off when Luna's hand tries to touch the radio.] Lori:[Angrily swats the hand away] "Hey! Hands off the radio." [Lori backs out of the driveway but smashes into the garbage cans. The chatting stops. The parents and Lily come out to see.] Lynn Sr.:[Gasps] "What have you done to my baby?!" [Puts his human baby down on the porch. While she spits her pacifier out in anger, he and Rita run to the van. Lynn Sr. hugs the van, while Rita counts the dents.] Rita:[Demanding] "One, two, three, that's four new dents since last weekend." [Cut to a series of flashbacks explaining the other three dents. In the first, the kids are arguing at a stoplight, the light turns green and they drive backwards, smashing into another car. The second shows them arguing and driving backwards, smashing into the Burpin' Burger sign, and knocking it over. The third shows them smashing into Liam's chicken coop.] Lori: "Who let a chicken in the car?!" [End of flashbacks] Lynn Sr.:[Sighs] "I don't know how many times your mother and I have to say this, but when you're out there on the road, Lori, you need to be 100% focused." Rita:[Demanding] "Which means the rest of you need to keep quiet and behave. If we find even one more nick on Vanzilla you can say goodbye to your driving privileges indefinitely!" Lily's Siblings:[Gasp] "We promise." [The kids, except Lily, leave.] Lynn Sr.: "Wow! Way to dish out the discipline, hun!" Rita: "Thanks! You know, we have really got this parenting thing down to a science. We're experts!" [Rita and Lynn Sr. high five, and go inside the house. Lily is left outside, grunting.]
[Later, at the gas station, Flip finishes filling the van and goes to Lori in the front seat.] Lori: "Thanks Flip." [Gives him the money] Flip: "Oh no, thank you." [Flip heads off, and Lori turns the car on and hears rock music playing from the radio.] Lori: "Hey! Who changed the station?!" [She angrily changes it back.] Luna: "I wanna hear the top three, three!" Leni: "Top forty!" Lucy: "Today's obituaries." Lisa: "This Michigan Life!" [Everyone starts arguing over the radio and Vanzilla accidentally gets shifted into reverse, knocking over the gas meter, which knocks over a post. Cut to Flip, who is wringing out his mop until an awning falls onto him and squashes him, screaming in pain and flailing his arm.] Flip: "Ah! All I see is black! Ow! Someone help!"
[At the Royal Woods Hospital.] Doctor: "We're looking at twelve sprains, two minor breaks, and a twist." Flip: "Hey, I ain't got time for medical speak Doc, I'm sittin' on a van of old Flippees that needs movin'." Doctor: "You won't be back on your feet for at least a week. Is there someone who can take care of you?" Flip: "Nah, Flip's a lone wolf." [Howls, but then a bone cracks, causing him to yelp and scream.] "GAH! Cheese and crackers." [He continues to yelp in pain. Outside the room, the Loud kids felt horrible.] Leni: "You guys, this is all our fault. We should take care of Flip." Lynn: "But how can we do that without Mom and Dad finding out what we did?" Luan: "Yeah, we'll lose Vanzilla privileges forever!" Lucy: "We can hide him in the morgue. A few beds just opened up." Luan and Lisa:[uncomfortable about that idea.] "Ugh." Lincoln: "Or we could just hide him in our attic." Lisa: "Actually, that's not a bad idea. It's quiet, far away from Mom and Dad's room." Lori: "The attic it is. [Looks at Flip and thinks] Now we just need a safe way to get him there."
[Later, Vanzilla is driving down the road. The camera pans up. Flip yelps in pain while he is tied on the roof.] Lisa: "Alright, by my calculations, we have 37.23 minutes to get Flip in the attic before our parental units arrive home from work." [Suddenly, the light changes.] Luna: "Red light!" [Lori quickly stops, when suddenly Kotaro's car pulls up next to them. Lincoln sees Lynn Sr. in the passenger seat of the other car.] Lincoln:[gasps] "Dad! Everyone down!" [Everyone ducks] Luna:[Takes out her phone] "I know how to distract him." [Makes a call] "Hi, I'd like to make a song request." [In Kotaro's car.] Radio DJ: "Strap in and start clangin', cause we got a special request for the new 27-minute single, from Cowbell and Sebastian." [A cowbell based song starts playing.] Lynn Sr.:[Excitedly] "Oh, this is my favorite song ever." [He and Kotaro start dancing, the light turns green and the kids drive off. Flip bangs his head on the lights with a yelp, causing it to spin around.]
[They arrive home. Lynn and Lincoln work on untying Flip. The old man groans.] Lincoln: "Sorry about the rough ride, Flip." Flip: "Don't worry. Ol' Flip's tough as sandpaper." Lisa:[Checks her watch] "14.34 minutes, almost in the clear." [Suddenly they hear babbling. Rita is bicycling home with Lily. The girls gasp and Lori runs up to them, just as Flip gets dropped in the middle of the others. The rest of the siblings look at him.] Lynn:[Guiltily] "Oh, my bad." Lori: "Oh, Mom," [Turns her away from the action.] "Did I tell you about Carol's new haircut?!" Rita:[As the kids lift up Flip right behind her; uneasy.] "Oh, uh... No, I don't think you did." Lori: "She got bangs!" [Giggles] "I mean, so brave right?" [A rope gets thrown out Lincoln's window. Lola gives the go-ahead, and Lynn, Lincoln and Lana prepare to hoist.] Flip: "Pretty sure I saw a perfectly good door on the front of the house." Lana: "Nah, this is way easier." [They proceed to hoist Flip. However, they start struggling.] Flip: "Okay, but all this up and down is rattlin' my innards!" [Flip farts on the kids, causing himself to go swinging. Lynn and Lincoln drop to their knees and gag, but Lana goes flying with the rope and Flip swings into Lynn and Lincoln. Rita is about to enter the house, but Lori stops her.] Lori: "Wait! You haven't even seen the pics yet." [Meanwhile, Leni, Lincoln, and Lucy carry Flip through the back door.] Leni: "Hurry, hurry, hurry. Watch out for the door!" [Luan ties Flip to a dolly, and they wheel him away. Back on the porch, Lori's showing Rita the photos.] Lori: "Here's Carol, with a headband. Ha!" Rita:[Walks inside] "So cute." Lori: "Oh, there's more." [Lori goes after Rita. Meanwhile, Luan, Lynn, and Lana try to hoist Flip into the attic, which they manage to do. Cut back to Lori, chatting to Rita while going up the stairs.] "...and, um, here's how her bangs look pinned back. So cute right? Right?" Rita: "Okay, sorry. Lily really needs a change, Hon." Lori: "Oh, um... I'll do it, I've got it." [Nervously laughs. She takes Lily upstairs and sees the attic door close.] "Never mind, it's all you." [Gives Lily back and takes off down the stairs. Rita growls in annoyance. Meanwhile, in the attic, Luna and Lincoln carry Flip to an old couch.] Flip:[Coughs up the dust and waves his hand on his nose.] "Was the broom closet taken?" Lincoln: "This is the comfiest spot in the house." Lisa: "And you have access to my collection of antique medical equipment." [Flip picks up a stethoscope and thinks.] Lynn Sr.:[Calls from downstairs] "Who's got a hankering for takeout?!" Flip:[Starts to get up] "Eh, I could eat." Lincoln:[Sneaks in and stops him] "Woah, woah. You gotta stay off your feet. We'll bring you a plate." Flip: "Room service? Eh, Flip likes the sound of that, but no broccoli." [Lincoln salutes and goes.]
[In the dining room everyone's eating. Lana stuffs noodles in her hat, Leni hides some under her sunglasses, and Lola stuffs some inside Mr. Sprinkles.] Lana: "Well, I'm stuffed." Lola: "Me too." Lincoln: "I better get started on my homework!" Luna: "Hey dudes. Can I play that new song for you?" Lori: "I told Bobby I'd call, like, five minutes ago!" [The kids leave the table, leaving their parents watching. In the attic, Luna feeds Flip. He belches and goes to sleep. Luna gives a thumb up.]
[The kids return to the second floor, when Rita sees them leaving the attic, causing them to gasp.] Rita: "Oh, hey kids,. What are you doing in the attic?" Lincoln:[Hesitant] "Uh, just playing." Lana:[Hesitant] "With a snake." Leni:[Hesitant] "That had snake babies." Rita:[Freaked out] "Snake? Babies?!" [Rita's voice wakes up Flip. He wonders what's happening.] Lisa: "Yes, but fear not, we know you're not a fan of serpents." Luna: "So, we'll keep them up in the attic until they're ready to be released into the wild." Luan: "In approximately, uh, six days." Rita:[Backs downstairs] "Okay, just as long as I don't have to see them." [Rita returns downstairs and the kids sigh with relief.] Lincoln:[Realizes] "She bought it. As long as we keep Flip quiet, Mom and Dad will never find out about the accident." [The girls nod. But what they don't know is that Flip has Lisa's stethoscope pressed to the floor, and has heard everything.] Flip: "Oh, so that's their game."
DAY 2 [The kids are bringing food and drinks to Flip, but see that the attic door is open and gasp. They hear Flip laughing in Lincoln's room.] Flip:[Reading Lincoln's comic book.] "Boy, this Ace Savvy's something else. Ooh, what a hoot." Lincoln:[Frowning] "What are you doing in my room?" Flip: "Ah, that attic setup was hard on Flip's back. Old spine just hasn't felt right since the accident. You know the one you don't want your mom and dad to find out about." [Lincoln's sisters gasp.] Lori: "Lincoln, Flip gets your room." Lincoln:[Aghast] "What?" Lori:[Walking in] "Flip, we'll do everything we can to keep you comfortable, but you have to be reasonable." Flip: "Sure, Flip's a simple man who don't need much."
DAY 3 [Lucy is fluffing Flip's pillow as Lynn and Lola - with annoyed looks - bring a plate of food.] Flip:[Takes the plate with anticipation.] "All my Michigan favorites. Corn beef eggrolls, Coney Island dogs and Paczkis." [Dumps the plate into his mouth.] "Wait, didn't I ask for a papaya juice? Freshly squeezed?" [Lynn and Lola, unable to control their temper, give fake smiles and go to get it.] "Hey, Spooky, my big toe's been itching something fierce. How 'bout a little scratch?" [Holds his foot up, Lucy and Fangs are revolted.] Lucy: "Uh, Fangs, you wanna take this?" [Fangs squeals and flies away.]
DAY 4 [Flip is trying to use Luna's tablet, but to no avail.] Flip: "Eh, I don't know how to use these Mini TVs. How 'bout some live entertainment?" Luna: "Great, I'll grab my guitar." Flip: "Well, hold up Hippie. I had a little time to workshop some sketch during the last bedding change." [Cue a crudely made title card] The Loud House Created by Flip [Lincoln enters Luna and Luan's room wearing glasses, suspenders, a peach shirt, orange bowtie, and is carrying two pies.] Lincoln:[Deadpan] "Hope everyone saved room for dessert." [Lincoln approaches Luna and Luan, and steps on a banana peel.] "Woah." [The girls get hit in the faces with the pies.] "Oopsie-doopsie." Flip:[Laughs] "Gold! Haha, now let's do the next scene." [The kids groan.]
DAY 5 [Lori is cutting Flip's toenails, one hits her goggles. Leni is pulling on one of Flip's nose hairs, she manages to pull out the really long hair, and Flip sneezes on her.]
DAY 6 [Late at night, the kids (except Lily) pop out of their rooms when they hear the TV and go downstairs, looking angry as they see Flip laying on the couch watching TV.] Luna "You can't be down here, dude!" Flip: "A little late-night TV shoppin' keeps the mind off the pain." Lincoln:[Frowning and whispering] "We're all going to get busted." Flip: "That sounds like a you problem." [A very sleepy Lynn Sr. comes out of his room.] Lynn Sr: "What's all the racket? Everyone's supposed to be in bed." [Leni, Luan and Lola get in front of him, with nervous looks.] Lola: "Oh, hi Daddy! We just..." Leni: "Didn't wanna miss the chance to get a deal on a new barbecue brush." [There's a clinking sound coming from the kitchen.] Lynn Sr.: "What was that in the kitchen?" [The girls turn around and see the couch is empty.] Luan:[Hesitant] "Uh, maybe it's Lily?" Lynn Sr.:[Becoming annoyed and walks to the kitchen] "She better keep her cute little paws off my leftover ribs." [In the kitchen, Flip is about to eat Lynn Sr.'s ribs, when Lynn shoves him inside the fridge and Lincoln catches them. Lynn Sr. walks in.] Lincoln: "Uh, ribs are still safe, here you go." [Offers them to Lynn Sr.] Lynn Sr.: "Uh, actually, I better not. Told your mom I'd cut down on the old midnight snacks." [Goes back to his room, and the twins enter.] Lana: "All clear." [Lynn opens the fridge, and an ice block falls out with Flip inside, the kids take him away.]
FINAL DAY [Lynn Sr. whistles while he walks to the bathroom. However, he finds it to be occupied and groans. Lincoln and Lori walk along behind him.] Lynn Sr.: "Hey. Who's hogging the bathroom? I have to get to work." [Lori and Lincoln look at each other nervously.] Lincoln: "Um, I think it's Lynn." Lori: "Yup." [giggles] "Definitely Lynn." [Just then, Lynn comes out of her bedroom. Lincoln notices and becomes startled.] Lincoln: "Lynn! Uh, we thought you were in... the bathroom..." Lynn:[Realizes what's going on and starts hesitating.] "Oh, um, no, I saw Luan go in there." Luan:[Arrives from the stairs] "Go in where?" [Lynn, Lincoln and Lori - still showing nervous looks - point at the bathroom, while her father stares at her.] "I mean, uh, I think the, uh, twins are taking a bath." Lana:[As she and Lola come out of their bedroom.] "Ew, bath? I never take baths..." [The others point to their angry father waiting for the bathroom.] "I mean, uh, Leni's in there." [Leni comes upstairs.] Leni: "Oh, hey you guys." [They all point at the bathroom with Lynn Sr. growling.] "What are you waving about?" Lynn Sr.:[Annoyed] "Hey if you kids don't tell me who's in that bathroom, I am going to-" [Just then the bathroom opens. From there a large cloud of perfume covers Lynn Sr. He turns around and notices Flip.] Flip: "Eh, you'd better tell your mom she's all out of that fancy body lotion." Lynn Sr.: "Flip?!" Rita:[Shocked as she arrives upstairs along with Luna and Lucy] "Flip?!" [Angrily confronts him] "Is that my lotion?!" Lynn Sr: "Is that my robe? What's going on here?!" [The kids sigh, knowing that the beans are spilt] Lori: "We had an accident with Vanzilla and Flip got hurt." Leni: "And since it was our fault, we've all been taking care of him." Lincoln: "But we knew if you found out we'd lose our driving privileges. So we had to hide him in the attic." Lynn Sr:[furious] "Getting into another accident is one thing, but lying to us is a whole other level!" Rita:[also furious] "Your driving privileges are suspended indefinitely!" Kids:[sadly] "We're sorry." Flip: "Ah, go easy on the kids. They took good care of me. Don't let this gruff exterior fool ya, on the inside Flip's just a delicate flower that needs tending to." [After hearing this, Rita and Lynn Sr. have a change of heart] Rita: "Well, I guess indefinitely was a little harsh. Let's say, no driving for the rest of the month." Flip: "And when you get the van back, come by the Food 'N' Fuel for free Flippees." Kids:[Excitedly] "Yeah!" Flip:[Angrily] "But no refills! [Points to his cast] Now who's taking me back to the Doc to lose this cast?"
[The van parks outside Flip's Food 'n' Fuel. Flip, having made a full recovery, gets dropped off.] Flip:[Waves] "Eh, thanks for the ride." [Lynn Sr. and Rita are in the van, and Cowbell and Sebastian's 27-minute single comes on the radio.] Lynn Sr.: "This is the new Cowbell and Sebastian song I was talking about." [Lynn Sr. starts dancing in his seat and accidentally puts Vanzilla in reverse recreating the kids' accident from a week before, complete with Flip getting flattened once again.] Flip: "Ow! Someone help!"
[Later, Flip is wearing Lynn Sr.'s robe again, eating on the parent's bed with his cast. Lynn Sr. and Rita are dressed for Flip's sketch, with Lynn Sr. holding two pies.] Lynn Sr.:[trying to cheer Rita up] "On the bright side, maybe we'll get free Flippees at the end of the week." [sheepishly chuckles] Flip:[angrily] "Stick to the dang script, Lynn!"
