The following is a transcript for the episode "Hunn-cut Gems."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Royal Woods Middle School, cafeteria] Liam: "And we are live in 3, 2..." [He nods and gives a thumbs-up.] Rusty:[He is shown wearing three birthday hats.] "I'm Rusty Spokes, Royal Woods' favorite middle school newscaster coming to you live. Chef Pat is about to unveil a cake for our school mascot and birthday boy: Crikey the Kangaroo!" [Crikey steps up beside Rusty, wearing a birthday hat. Then Chef Pat reveals the cake, and Crikey hops over to it in excitement.] "Is that buttercream frosting?" [Rusty shoves Crikey aside and sticks his finger in the cake frosting. He tastes it as Crikey hops onto his feet and winds up his fist.] "Mmm, my favorite." [Crikey punches him into the cake and hops offscreen as Rusty groans in pain.] Liam:[whispers] "Should I cut the feed?" [The scene cuts to Lincoln and Clyde in the newsroom.] Lincoln: "Liam, you got to stall!" [cut back to Liam] Liam:[whispers] "I don't know, y'all. I ain't got Rusty's kind of screen presence." Clyde:[via Liam's earpiece] "Get in front of the camera!" Lincoln:[via Liam's earpiece] "We need you!" Liam:[nervously] "Uh, uh..." [He gets in front of the camera.] "H-h-howdy! Uh, fillin' in for a currently indisposed Rusty Spokes--" Rusty:[He runs away behind Liam, with Crikey chasing him angrily.] "It was only one bite!" [Crikey punches him offscreen and Rusty shrieks, then there is a crash. Liam cringes in response, and then Chef Pat begins mopping the spoiled cake.] Liam: "Umm... I'm Liam Hunnicut, and, uh--" [He grabs his phone and rapidly scrolls through it.] "Look what we just found in the Hunnicut Farm potato field! Ain't he the spittin' image of Abe Lincoln?" [He shows a picture of a potato shaped like Abraham Lincoln.] "Four score and seven spuds ago! I'm Liam Hunni--" Lincoln:[via Liam's earpiece] "You can't wrap. We still have three and a half minutes!" Liam: "Well, here I am brushin' the mats out of our mule Daisy's tail." [He shows a video of himself brushing his mule's tail. Daisy slaps him in the face twice, then kicks at the stool Liam is sitting on. He flips in the air and lands on the ground, and the stool hits him on the head.] "Ha-ha, yeah, heh." [He scrolls through his phone again and finds another video.] "Uh... Here's Mee-Maw givin' Virginia a literal piggyback ride!" [Liam shows a video of Mimi running across the field carrying Virginia on her back. Virginia is eating chips as she does so, and then she feeds the rest of the bag to Mimi.] "Just another Thursday 'round the farm." Clyde:[via Liam's earpiece] "We still have time! Keep going." Liam:[stammers nervously] "Oh, oh wait, I'm bein' told I still have a minute, um..." [He scrolls through his phone once again.] "Have you ever seen a donkey go berserk in a cabbage patch?" [chuckles nervously]
[The next day, Liam disappointedly enters the Action News Team's newsroom.] Liam: "Hey, y'all." [He walks over to the desk. Lincoln and Clyde are sitting there, looking concerned.] "I'm sorry that yesterday's segment weren't all that and a bunch of oats." Rusty:[He walks up behind Liam, now having scratches, bandages, and a black eye.] "It's okay, dawg. We can't all have this kind of charisma." [His head starts spinning.] "Uhh, another dizzy spell." [He twirls around and faints.] Stella:[offscreen] "Just a couple more steps, and..." [Stella and Zach enter the newsroom, with Zach holding a box with a large stack of letters, but Zach loses his balance and drops the box, spilling the letters. Zach groans in disappointment. The Action News Team gathers around the letters.] Lincoln: "Whoa, what's all of this mail?" Rusty: "I bet it's our fans worrying about me." [He grabs a letter and reads it.] ""Dear Liam:" That's a weird way of spelling "Rusty"." Stella:[She grabs the letter and hands it to Liam.] "No, it's not for you. It's all fan mail for Liam. They love you and think farm life is fascinating." Liam: "Really? Well, shucks. That's mighty nice." Lincoln: "Hey, maybe you should do a full segment about the farm." Liam: "Aw, that's swell of you to say, but I'm more of a work horse than a show pony." Stella: "You should try it. Besides, Rusty needs time to recover." Rusty: "I don't need time. I'll be fine as soon as this room stops spinning." [Because he is still dizzy, he collapses again.] Liam: "Well, alright. Maybe just this once."
[Hunnicut Farm: Liam is setting up a camera inside his kitchen.] Liam: "Welcome, y'all. I start every morn' with a farm-to-farm breakfast." [He dashes to the dining table.] Mimi:[She hops inside the kitchen on one leg and holding a bowl of grits. She also has no hair on her head.] "Ooh-wee, gotta stop takin' naps in the tractor. My dang leg fell asleep again." [Her leg is wobbly, so as she tries to walk on it, she trips and launches the bowl of grits onto the table. It lands in Liam's face and then onto the table, and he scrapes the grits off his face. Mimi walks over in despair.] "Oh, heck..." [She suddenly notices the camera and screams, cowering under the table.] "Liam, you didn't tell me you were makin' a movie picture, and here I am with no wig!" [She dashes away and comes back, now wearing her wig.] "Have some grits, Liam!" [She pushes the bowl toward Liam, and he begins to eat. However, Virginia jumps into the bowl and begins eating them.] "Um, bad Virginia. Not when the cameras are rollin'." Liam: "It's a slop party, y'all!" [He stuffs the bowl into his face as he eats, and Mimi grins nervously. The scene cuts to Liam setting up the camera outside by the pigpen, and he is now wearing goggles.] "After breakfast, I like to take a quick dip in the ol' mudhole!" [He runs over to the fence and jumps into the mud. Virginia belly-flops into the mud, also wearing goggles. She resurfaces, and the two of them submerge themselves back into the mud. They stick out their feet and perform dance moves. Next, the camera cuts to inside the barn, where a small foal is nervously standing.] Liam:[whispers] "And here's our youngest foal learnin' to walk." [The foal collapses as Mimi walks inside.] Mimi: "Come on, Sugar Cube. Do just like your mee-maw." [She gets down on her hands and feet and walks around Sugar Cube. She stands up on her own and manages to walk, so she trots off happily after Mimi.] Liam: "And that's all the news that makes the Hunnicut! This is Liam, signin' off. Bye now!" [The camera turns off.]
[Royal Woods Middle School: Liam is walking down the hallway singing to himself when some students stop him.] Lance: "Hey, Liam!" Student 2: "Farm life is so cool!" Emma:[She shows Liam a social media post of Sugar Cube.] "Aww, Sugar Cube's adorable!" Student 4:[Comes up beside Liam] "Have some grits, Liam! Ha, you the man!" [Liam fist bumps him, and they walk off. Liam approaches his friends.] Clyde:[He hugs Liam.] "Congrats, buddy! You're a star!" Rusty:[He scoffs, and the camera pans to him holding an ice pack to his face.] "You've seen one farm, you've seen them all. But do you remember when I won Royal Woods' 'Middle School Reporter of the Year'?" Zach: "Rusty, that's an award you made up and gave to yourself." [The screen pans back to Liam, and several students are now standing behind him.] Student 4: "So, when's the next episode of the farm show going to air?" Student 5: "Yeah, we want more!" Rusty: "Too bad. That segment was a one-off. Liam doesn't like being on camera." Students: "Aww." Liam: "Oh, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa there, I don't wanna disappoint anybody. If y'all like the farm so much, I guess I don't mind showin' 'er off a bit more." [The students all cheer--except Rusty, who growls in jealousy.]
[Hunnicut Farm: A camera has been set up by a crop field, with Daisy in the background.] Liam: "Watch me tame this here buckin' bronco!" [He jumps onto the fence within the field of the camera's view while lassoing a rope. He lassos it around Daisy and jumps onto her back, but she jumps and kicks aggressively in response. They twirl around, and Liam is seen standing on the ground with Daisy on his back. At school, the kids see Liam walking by; then they smile, wave, and take a picture. Liam turns back to wave, but he is lassoed by a girl and pulled over to her, who proceeds to take a selfie with him. Back on the farm, Liam's camera now records a sheep as Liam reveals a razor and turns it on. He gives the sheep a mohawk.] "Hey girl, this look is baaaad to the bone!" [He laughs to the sheep's annoyance, then the scene cuts back to school.] Student: "It's Liam!" [As Liam enters his classroom, he finds the students have all gotten mohawks as well. They cheer and laugh for him, then it cuts back to the farm.] Liam: "Here's how we make our famous Hunnicut boysenberry jam!" [Mimi is standing in a large wooden tub filled with boysenberries. She begins jumping and jogging inside the tub, squashing the berries with her bare feet. Suddenly, Virginia jumps off a haystack.] "Virginia, no!" [Liam runs over to stop her, but Virginia splashes into the jam tub. The three of them laugh, and boysenberry jam drips down the screen as the scene transition.] [Liam is about to enter the gym when Girl Jordan taps his shoulder. She smiles and holds a pen and a jar of Hunnicut jam up to him, which Liam takes and autographs to her delight.]
[The next day at Royal Woods Middle, Lance and Emma are smiling at a phone as Liam steps proudly up to them, wearing sunglasses.] Liam: "Have some grits, am I right?" [He walks away to the students' confusion. Meanwhile, Clyde is putting books in his locker. As he closes the door, Liam is standing there.] "So, for the next Life with Liam--that's what I'm callin' the show now--I'm gonna film Virginia's annual mudslide down Hunnicut Hill!" [Rusty smiles while the rest of the Action News Team groans.] "Y'all look more nervous than a sow at a barbeque. What's goin' on?" Clyde: "Oh boy. We have some bad news." Rusty: "Turns out your show is old news." Liam:[takes off his sunglasses] "Whaddya mean? Everyone's watchin' it, look!" [He turns toward two students in the background. They are watching a video and laugh.] Stella: "No, they're watching this." [Stella shows Liam her phone, and onscreen is a video of Crikey punching giant steaks while Chef Pat holds them in the freezer.] "Everyone's obsessed with Crikey and Chef Pat's new videos now. They call themselves the 'Beef Boxers'." [Chef Pat is flung backward by Crikey's punch, and a new logo of their show pops up onscreen as a wrestling bell dings in the background.] Liam:[despondent] "What?" Rusty: "Sorry dawg. Fame is fickle, except for the Rustman. He's timeless." Liam: "Wait, but I was just gettin' started." Zach: "Hey, look on the bright side. You had a good run, buddy." [The rest of the Action News Teams walks off, leaving Liam on his own.] Liam: "Hmm..." [grins maliciously] "I'll just have to outbeef them Beef Boxers."
[Hunnicut Farm: Liam is recording himself as he comes in front of the barn.] Liam: "Welcome to another installment of Life with Liam. Today, we're takin' a tour of the stables." [There is a bunch of loud whinnying as the ground begins shaking. Liam jumps into the air and grabs a rope, then he lands on a haybale as a large herd of horses runs out of the barn.] "Oh no! Stampede!" [The horses gallop away, and Liam reveals the stampede was staged.] "And cut. Great job, everyone. Those actin' lessons are payin' for themselves. Carol Anne, did you catch that all on the Goat Pro?" [Carol Anne is shown with a video camera strapped to her head, and she bleats in response. The scene cuts to a pumpkin patch.] "Y'all are in luck, 'cause it's harvestin' time!" [He steps to the side and gasps at a large pumpkin with an angry face. The pumpkin sprouts two bird legs, and Liam screams.] "Giant mutated pumpkin!" [The pumpkin chases him.] "Ahh! It's after me!" [Liam hops back onscreen and has his foot caught in the pumpkin's mouth, then he falls.] "And cut!" [Clarence pops his head out of the top of the pumpkin and gobbles in response. Next, the scene cuts to inside the barn as Liam and Carol Anne approach a nest with a blanket.] "Take a gander at this." [Liam removes the blanket, showing a piglet with a bird's beak and wings. The piglet squeals.] "That's what happens when a mama pig craves chicken feed while she's pregnant. It's the world's first pig-hen!" [After recording, Liam holds the piglet as he stands up.] "Once the school sees all this, Crikey will be ol' news!" [Carol Anne bleats.]
[Royal Woods Middle School: Liam opens the doors, and the students notice him.] Students: "Liam!" [They cheer.] [Liam walks down the hallway, giving high-fives and taking a selfie with the other students.] Student 6: "Oh, could you believe that?" Student 7: "That was so cool!" Student 8: "That pig-hen was sick!" Student 9: "You rock, Liam!" [Liam waves back at the students as his friends approach him in excitement--except Rusty.] Lincoln: "You did it again, Liam!" Zach: "Yeah, the Beef Boxers are dunzo! Everyone's talking about your zombie pumpkin now!" Rusty:[annoyed] "I don't know about everybody." Liam:[He leans against a locker.] "The farm never fails to deliver!" Clyde: "And it's a good thing too, because everyone wants to see what's going to happen next." [Liam isn't expecting this and gets nervous.] Liam: "Happen next?" [chuckles nervously] "Not a problem, because there is never a dull day on Hunnicut Farms!"
[Hunnicut Farm: Liam is standing beside a tractor talking to Carol Anne, Virginia, and Barb--a horse who looks similar to Daisy. Virginia is holding a rope in her mouth.] Liam: "Alright folks, this runaway tractor segment is gonna make me a legend!" [The animals glare at him in annoyance.] "And all the supporting cast, too. I'll get the tractor to start rollin' down the hill, over that ramp and towards the pond." [The scene zooms out to show that Liam and the tractor are on top of Hunnicut Hill, and a wooden quarter-pipe ramp is at the bottom near a pond.] "But right before it hits the water, I'll signal Virginia to throw me the lasso. Then I'll mount Barb and we'll speed off and lasso the tractor before it crashes. Everyone got it?" [The animals nod.] "Great. Let's roll!" [Liam aims Carol Anne's camera toward him and begins recording.] "Welcome back, Kangaroos, to another segment of Life with Liam! Today I'm showin' you the family tractor." [He leans against the tractor, and it begins rolling down the hill. Liam falls over as it rolls away.] Liam:[feigning worry] "Oh, no! I'd best go stop it!" [whispers] "Virginia, where's my lasso?" [Virginia is distracted by sniffing a daffodil.] "Virginia, what are you doin'?!" [Liam glances toward the tractor and gasps. Mimi sticks her head out from the window.] Mimi: "What in tarnation?! Oh-whoa!" [She screams in horror.] Liam: "Great gizzards! Mee-Maw must've slept in the tractor again! I gotta save her!" [He runs to Barb and climbs onto her back, then they chase after the runaway tractor. Mimi yelps in fear.] "Come on, Barb! Ride like your hide depends on it! Yah!" Mimi: "Ahh-wah!" Liam: "Mee-Maw, you need to jump! I'll catch ya!" Mimi: "I'm a-scared!" [She looks ahead and gasps as the ramp quickly approaches.] Liam: "Hurry!" [Liam holds out his hand, so Mimi grabs it and jumps out. Liam pulls her onto Barb's back, and she comes to a stop. Unfortunately, the tractor jumps off the ramp and lands in the pond, and it sinks while Liam and Mimi watch in despair.] Liam: "Are you alright, Mee-Maw?" [He climbs down while Mimi shivers, still shaken up by the experience.] Mimi:[She climbs down from Barb.] "What the heck happened?" Liam: "Ugh, I was tryin' to shoot another segment for the show, but things got a little outta control." [Carol Anne walks up next to him and nudges him, and Liam removes the camera from her head.] Mimi:[angrily] "Well, I was almost a goner there, and you'll be doin' extra chores for two years!" [Liam looks down in shame, and Mimi smiles at him.] "But I guess you got yourself one heck of a segment." [Liam, knowing what he just put his mee-maw through was wrong, realizes what he has to do.]
[Royal Woods Middle School: Liam enters the Action News Team room.] Stella:[offscreen] "Finally!" [She and the rest of the team approach Liam.] "Your fans are waiting for you!" Zach: "I don't know how you're gonna top a half-pig-half-chicken, though." [Liam shows his phone to his friends, and they look in excitement. However, all they see is Virginia lounging in the mud, and the video only has seven views.] Clyde: "Uh, is something else going to happen?" Liam: "Nope. Truth is, this is what life is actually like on the farm. It may get the views, it may not, but I ain't part of that rat race no more." Rusty: "That video's worse than dead air, dawg. Good thing my bandages are off, so I can save the day." [He pulls Zach toward him.] "Come on, Zach." [Rusty leaves the room.] "Let's go give the people what they really want." [He begins dancing backwards, but he accidentally bumps into Crikey, who is eating an ice cream cone. Crikey drops his ice cream, and he snarls at Rusty.] "Oh, no." [Rusty runs away while Crikey chases him.] "Aah, not the face! That's my moneymaker! Aahhh!" [Rusty is beaten up by Crikey again offscreen. The rest of the Action News Team laughs as the screen irises out, ending the episode.]
