The following is a transcript for the episode "InTODDnito."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[It's a bright sunny day at Royal Woods Elementary. The first graders are going about their recess activities] Girl: "Can't catch me!" [All except for Petey Wimple who has been encased in a green gelatinous substance] Lisa: "Now if this works as I hope, Petey, my patented safety salve should act as a protective wearable shield against painful dodgeballs." [Suddenly a painful dodgeball blasts right through the safety salve and sends Petey flying away. Lisa winces then takes notes] "Hmm… Interesting. Might need more corn syrup." Darcy:[Offscreen] "Hey, Lisa." [Just then, Lisa's good friend Darcy Helmandollar runs up with an envelope addressed to Lisa] "I wanted to invite you to my birthday party on Saturday. You're my bestie, you have to come." [Gives Lisa the envelope] Lisa:[Happily takes the envelope] "Of course, Darcy. That's what besties are for. At least according to the latest sociological studies." Darcy: "Yippie! Have you seen Petey? I want to invite him too." Lisa:[Points in the direction Petey went] "He's over there, recovering from his contribution to science." [Over at the sandbox Petey has been blasted right through the wooden siding] Petey:[Groans] "I'm okay." Darcy:[Skips over to Petey] "Thanks, Bestie." [Lisa opens the envelope, then gets blasted with confetti] Lisa: "Mental note: invent confetti defense shield."
[Back at the Loud house that evening, Lisa hands the invite over to Todd] Lisa: "Hey, Todd, add this event to my schedule." Todd: "FYI, "PLEASE" GOES A LONG WAY."[Lisa puts her backpack down when suddenly an alarm goes off] "ERROR: YOU HAVE SOMETHING SCHEDULED AT THAT DAY AND TIME." [Shows Lisa a holographic image of her schedule. Friday has an encyclopedia icon and is marked DR. JULIUS BROWN] Lisa:[Gasps] "How could I forget? Dr. Julius Brown the renowned gastroenterologist is being honored at the Royal Woods medical center. I've been looking forward to this for months." [Has practically forgotten about Darcy's birthday party] "I have to find something suitable to wear." [Goes to her closet and starts going through her lab coats] "Nope. Too casual. Too Formal. Gah, I hate all my lab coats." [Unknowingly tosses one of her green turtlenecks on Todd's shoulder and spare glasses on Todd's optical sensors] Todd: "SO..." [Gets a brown wig tossed on his head] "SHOULD I DECLINE DARCY'S INVITE AND LIQUIDATE IT?" [Gets his blowtorch ready] Lisa:[Sighs, remembering] "No, I can't do that to my bestie. I don't wanna hurt her feelings. Hmm. Maybe I can clone myself so I can be in both places at once." [Gasps with another idea] "Or cryogenically freeze Darcy so she doesn't age, thus eliminating the need for a birthday party. Now, where did I put my freeze ray?" [Suddenly notices Todd and gasps] "Todd, that's an even better idea! You can disguise yourself as me, and go to the party while I go live it up with Dr. B." Todd: "THERE IS JUST ONE PROBLEM. I AM WAY TALLER THAN YOU." Lisa: "Eh, a minor setback. I'll take care of that." [Takes out a drill and dons her goggles] Todd: "GULP." [Lisa gets to work. It takes all night] Lisa: "And we are finished!" [Todd is now Lisa's height and is also now dressed like her] "It's like looking in a mirror." Todd: "TWINSIES." [High-fives Lisa, but then stumbles and his glasses almost fall off] "WHOA!" Lisa: "You'd better not move around too much, we wouldn't want your disguise to fall off like that mid-party." [Gasps and takes out her tablet] "Ooh, I also cloned my voice, let me upload it to you now so you can give it a try." [Does so] Todd: "AHEM." [In a slightly robotic tone of Lisa's voice] "HI, I'M LISA. I HAVE A HIGH IQ. I THINK I'M SO MUCH SMARTER THAN EVERYONE." Lisa: "Eh, a tad sassy, but accurate. Just to be safe, I'll be monitoring you with a camera and speakers." [Activates T.O.D.D. Vision on her tablet, which suddenly shows Lisa holding the tablet which is showing Lisa holding the tablet. Both Lisa's wave at the camera] "With this tablet, I can see what you're seeing." [Puts the tablet away] "If you get into any figurative hot water I can coach you via this earpiece." [Which she takes out and puts in her ear, under her hair] "With these precautions in place it's almost like I'll be there. I'll be the virtual life of the party." [The two start laughing] Lynn Sr.:[Outside the room] "Hey, Einstein." [Enters] "I just cut some fruit if you're--" [Sees Lisa laughing with a robotic version of herself. Disturbed] "I should have knocked." [Closes the door]
[At Tall Timbers Park, Darcy's birthday party is in full swing. Darcy and two other girls are on a makeshift dance floor while the rest of the guests and Darcy's mom watch with excitement. Todd arrives just as Lisa is looking over her fecal slides] Todd: "I HAVE ARRIVED AT THE DESTINATION." Lisa: "Excellent. Mission is a go." Darcy: "Lisa! You're here!" [Runs up to what she thinks is her bestie] Todd:[Lisa voice] "OF COURSE, I COULDN'T MISS THE CELEBRATION OF THE ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR BIRTH." [Darcy excitedly brings "Lisa" into the party. Meanwhile the real Lisa is at home, satisfied] Lisa: "Ah. I couldn't have said it better myself. Now, I need to figure out which one of my fecal matter study slides I want Dr. Brown to autograph."
[Back at the party, Darcy's mom sets up the unicorn piñata] Darcy: "It's piñata time." [Grabs a baseball bat] "Lisa, you can go first." [Gives fake Lisa the bat and ushers her forward. Todd fumbles with the bat] Todd:[Lisa voice] "AH, YES, PIÑATA, SOMETHING I, A HUMAN CHILD, AM DEEPLY FAMILIAR WITH." Lisa:[Over the ear piece] "It's easy, Todd, all you have to do is use the bat to break the piñata." [Todd grows a determined look, suddenly his eyes glow red and he hits the piñata so hard a sonic boom can be seen from the edge of the park. The smoke clears and the candy comes raining down] Todd:[Lisa voice] "APOLOGIES. PERHAPS I OVER-ENGAGED MY CORE." [Everyone is shocked at first but then, despite not getting their turns, cheer for what they still think is Lisa] Lisa: "Phew, good thing they were too distracted by sweets to notice your super human strength. Just do not let it happen again." [Puts the tablet down] "Now, to rehearse my greeting." [Clears her throat and talks to her mirror] "Hello, Dr. Brown. I love your work particularly your dissertation on impacted lower intestines. Ew, everyone's gonna say that. Way to be original, Lisa."
[Back at the party, everyone on the dance floor is doing the kangaroo bop, Darcy pulls Lisa up] Darcy: "Ooh! I love this song! Let's dance, Lisa." [Runs onto the floor] Todd:[Lisa voice] "UH, BE RIGHT THERE. GOTTA GREASE MY GEARS. UH, I MEAN... STRETCH." [Normal voice] "COME IN, LISA.[Lisa is adjusting her bike helmet when she gets Todd's message] "THEY ARE DOING THE KANGAROO BOP. HOW DO I PROCEED? MY WIG WILL UNDOUBTEDLY FLY OFF." Lisa: "Hmm, use your freeze ray on them. That'll put an end to their dancing." Todd: "SEEMS A BIT EXTREME. TODD'S GOT THIS." [Rolls up to the center of the floor and uses Lisa's voice][Lisa voice] "THE KANGAROO IS SO OUT. NOW EVERYONE'S DOING THE POWER SAVE." [Demonstrated by literally powering down, the other kids seem to enjoy it and follow along] Lisa: "Excellent problem solving, Todd." [Jumps on her tricycle] "Self-drive mode, to the medical center. Pronto." Big Wheels: "Did you say, Toronto? Taking you to Canada." Lisa: "No, no, no, no. No…" [The trike takes her backwards]
[Back at the party. It's time for Darcy to blow out her candles on the cake, while the kids and Darcy's mom just finished singing “Happy Birthday”] Kids & Darcy's Mom: "♫ Happy birthday to you. ♫" [Darcy blows out all five candles] Lisa:[Over the ear piece] "Careful, Todd, the cake might clog your audio inputs, just pretend to eat." [Darcy's mom gives a piece to "Lisa"] Todd:[Lisa voice] "MMM, BIRTHDAY CAKE, MY FAVORITE." [Quickly tosses the cake and makes eating sounds] "NUM, NUM, NUM-NUM. I LOVE TO PUT CAKE IN MY HUMAN MOUTH AND DIGEST IT. IT'S DELISH." [Looks over and sees that "she" threw the cake on Petey, who gives "her" a dirty look]
[Meanwhile, at the medical center there is a line of folks with lab coats and glasses waiting to meet Dr. Brown. Lisa finally joins them] Lisa: "Whelp, looks like we've got things under control. And I am just mere moments away from Dr. Brown. See, Todd? We can do it all." [Meanwhile, Darcy is groaning, her face covered in frosting] Todd:[Lisa voice] "WHO KNEW SUCH A SMALL BODY COULD METABOLIZE SUCH LARGE QUANTITIES OF CAKE?" [Suddenly a horn goes off as Flip pulls up in a pickup truck with a sign reading 'ULYSSES UNICORNS AND UNITARDS' he is towing a mechanical unicorn] Flip: "Ulysses Unicorns And Unitards here with your rental delivery!" [Gets out of the truck actually wearing a sparkly magenta unitard] "Sorry I'm late, had to model my unitards for a potential buyer. Can you believe they ended up canceling the whole order? Anywhose, here's the unicorn." [The horn is a little crooked and suddenly the right eye pops out. Back at the medical center Lisa has heard everything and grows concerned] "Eh, don't worry his eyeball is supposed to do that." Lisa:[Fumbles with the tablet] "Mechanical unicorn? Oh no, Todd, avoid it at all costs. It'll shake your costume off and our cover will be blown." Todd: "ROGER THAT." Darcy: "Hey, Bestie! Come ride the unicorn with me." [Pulls what she thinks is her bestie to the unicorn before Todd can say anything] Lisa:[Sighs] "Okay, listen to me, Todd, I am uploading you with an excuse app. You should have enough to get you through the party." [Darcy is singing her way to the unicorn] Darcy: "♫ La, la, me and my bestie riding on a unicorn-- ♫" Todd:[Lisa voice; starts blurting out random cliché excuses] "IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A TRAIN TO CATCH. MY DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK. IT'S NOT IN MY BUDGET. MY ARTHRITIS IS ACTING UP. IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME." Lisa: "Ah, for Pete's sake Todd, slow down. You're burning through your excuses quicker than a supernova burns through gas." Darcy:[Thinks Lisa isn't keen on riding] "Pretty please? You're my best friend and riding a unicorn with my bestie is my one birthday wish." [Todd doesn't have an excuse for that] Lisa: "Oh brother, sounds like excuses won't cut it anyway. We'll have to take drastic measures. You'll have to destroy the unicorn." [Todd looks at the unicorn, Peter is clinging on for dear life but gets flung away the guests cheer] Todd: "BUT HOW? ALL EYES ARE ON THE RIDE." Lisa:[Getting annoyed, groans] "You've got four terabytes of processing power, Todd, figure it out! I have to mentally prepare myself to talk to a fecal legend." Todd:[Lisa voice; to Darcy] "OF COURSE I'LL RIDE THE UNICORN WITH YOU. RIGHT AFTER I DRAIN THE OLD OIL CAN--UH, I MEAN, USE THE LITTLE GIRL'S ROOM." [That excuse works]
[At the snack table, Todd grabs the punch bowl] Todd:[Lisa voice] "WHO WANTS PUNCH?" [Throws the punch bowl at the unicorn, at first it looks like it's malfunctioning but then starts spinning even faster. Regular voice] "OH, GREAT. I HAVE ONLY MADE IT STRONGER." [Next Todd plays pin the tail on the unicorn. Hides his eyes. Lisa voice] "OH NO, WHERE IS THAT PESKY DONKEY?" [Peeks to what he intends to pin] "MAYBE IT'S RIGHT THERE." [Throws the pin like a dart at the inflatable mechanical unicorn which pops it, everyone is sad] "OH DARN, LOOKS LIKE THE UNICORN IS NOT SAFE TO RIDE." Flip:[Shoves Todd offscreen] Outta the way, Lincoln’s sister! Eh, it’s fine. Nothing an old patch and pump can’t fix.
[Flip takes out an old bandage and covers the hole then he revs up the pump which inflates the unicorn right back up, everyone cheers, but the two Lisa's are exasperated] Todd:[Regular voice] "UGH." Darcy: "Lisa! There you are. Let's get in line for that unicorn ride." [They get in line and Todd knows he's running out of time] Todd:[Regular voice; notices something] "HUH? HMM…" [Todd is looking at the cable reading 'DANGER HIGH VOLTAGE' which is connecting the unicorn to the truck battery. Todd gets out his buzz saw attachment and whistles, casually lowering his arm only to get electrocuted] Darcy:[Notices her friend is crispy] "You okay, Lisa?" Todd:[Lisa voice] "FAIR EPIDERMIS AND HOT SUN. IT'S MY CURSE." Darcy: "Okay, well, we're up next. My birthday wish is about to come true." Lisa:[Who is also up next, heard what Darcy said via the tablet and gasps] "Up next?" Darcy:[Who still thinks she's talking to the real Lisa] "Oh, and Lisa, I just wanna say…" [Real Lisa hears and sees everything through the tablet] "I know birthdays aren't your thing, but it means so much to me that you came to my party. You're the bestest bestie ever." [Darcy's heartfelt words make Lisa realize that she's blowing off her best friend, she start to feel like the worstest worstie ever] Lisa: "Oh man, all I've been doing all day is thinking about myself. That's not what I'd call bestie behavior. If Todd goes on that unicorn his cover will be blown and Darcy will be really hurt." [Lisa takes out her fecal slide and wonders if an autograph on someone else's feces is more important than Darcy's friendship] Security Guard: "You're up. Dr. Brown will see you now." [Lisa looks at the fecal slide, and then the tablet] Lisa:[Sighs] "Give Dr. Brown my regards." [Gives the guard her slide, much to his disgust] "It's time I put friendship before feces." [Runs to her bike] "To Tall Timbers Park, on the double!" Big Wheels: "Dublin, Ireland." [Lisa realizes] "Confirmed. Activating submarine mode." Lisa:[Really exasperated] "Gah! You are so getting scrapped!" [Lisa's trike takes her away]
[Meanwhile, the last kid gets flung off the unicorn which means Lisa and Darcy are up] Darcy: "Yay! Our turn." [Leads Todd to the unicorn, meanwhile the real Lisa finally arrives] Lisa: "Oh, I'm too late. If I swap in now Darcy will see there are two of us." [Gets an idea] "Wait, unless…" [Takes out the tablet again and finds the emergency eject button. Meanwhile, Todd doesn't know Lisa's here yet and gets on the unicorn behind Darcy] Todd:[Lisa voice] "DARCY, I JUST WANT TO SAY, WHATEVER HAPPENS FRIENDSHIP IS A COMPLEX AND FRAGILE BEAST." Lisa:[Over the ear piece] "Come in, Todd. Thank you for your service today. Prepare for lift off." [Suddenly Todd gets ejected right off the unicorn, his disguise falling off, and lands right on Lisa's now unattended trike] Todd:[Regular voice] "PHEW." [The real Lisa joins her bestie for their unicorn ride] Lisa: "What I meant to say is… Let's ride, Bestie." [The unicorn starts up and gets swinging, Darcy loves it, though Lisa gets scared and grabs onto Darcy. They start spinning out of control. The adrenaline starts kicking in for Lisa] "Hey, this is quite stimulating." [The two besties start laughing together]
[Later, the sun is setting. Most of the guests have left but Lisa is still hanging out with Darcy] Darcy: "Thanks for coming, Lisa. This was the best birthday ever!" Lisa: "Of course. We are best friends after all. And I honestly had a great time." [Darcy smiles] "What do you say to another unicorn ride?" Darcy:[Grabs Lisa] "Yay!" [Takes her to the unicorn. Meanwhile, Todd is still hiding on Lisa's trike] Todd: "I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING. SELF-DRIVE MODE, TAKE ME BACK TO MY PLACE." Big Wheels:[Still misheard] "Taking you to space. Activating thrusters." Todd: "WHAT? NO!" [Blast off] "LISA!" [The wig lands on the ground, and the episode ends.]
