S1E02B Lincoln observes his empty trophy case I've tried everything to get into this trophy case.
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The following is a transcript for the episode "Kings of the Con".


Act I

[The episode starts with Clyde running with a piece of paper to Lincoln’s house. Lincoln’s sisters are watching TV while Lynn is doing squats.]
Lynn: “I got it!” [opens the door]
Clyde: “Sorry Lynn, I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s an emergency!” [Runs over Lynn and climbs the stairs]
Lana: “I don't know why he didn't just pee outside. I would if I could."
Loud girls except Lily, Lynn and Lana: “We know!“
Clyde: [Enters Lincoln's room] "Lincoln!" [Out of breath]
Lincoln: "Clyde, it's okay!" [Throws his comic] "Take your time." [Hands him a paper bag, which Clyde blows into]
Clyde: "Whoo! Thanks buddy."
Rita: [outside] "Lana, not on the begonias!"
Clyde: [Crumples up the paper bag] "Look! I got the program for tomorrow's Ace Savvy convention!" [Pulls out an Ace Savvy Con flier] "Check out the prize for best cosplay!"
Lincoln: [Reads the flier] "The con-goers with the most authentic character portrayals will be named "Kings of the Con" and win a cameo in the next Ace Savvy movie!" [Gasps excitedly] "The movie?"
[Lincoln imagines about what happened if they win the contest. Setting is in the city at night time. The ropes are lowered where Ace and Jack make an entrance."]
Singers: "Ace and Jack!"
Lincoln / Clyde [in unison] "Time to deal out some justice!"
[The silhouettes of the film crew appear, meaning that they are in a movie set.]
Director: "Cut! That was brilliant!" [Imagination ends, Lincoln breathes through his mouth with a bread bag.]
Lincoln: "We have to win!
Clyde: "I know! We're the biggest Ace Savvy fans ever! Who else can say they wrote an issue of the comic?" [glances at The Full Deck issue]
Lincoln: "Just one tiny problem..." [shows off their costumes] "Do you think our Ace and Jack costumes are good enough to win?"
Clyde: "Well... I did just upgrade my Poker-Chip blaster!" [presses it, which launches a poker chip, flying in an unexpected rate, which causes him and Lincoln to trip] "Whoops... I'll re-calibrate it."
Lincoln: "That'll definitely help. But you know, there will be a lot of Ace and Jacks at the con."
Clyde: "We need something to set us apart. Something no one else has."
Lincoln / Clyde: [both think; until they glance at the issue, and they speak in unison] "Jackpot!"

[The Loud siblings Clyde are at Lori's room. Lincoln uses a shoe as a gavel.]
Lincoln: "Thank you for joining me." [counts] "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... someone's missing?"
Lynn: [does some exercises] "What's the deali-o, Stinkin? I'm in the middle of a set!"
Lincoln: "Have a seat."
Lynn: "Yeah." [proceeds to sit]
Lincoln: "As you guys know, Clyde and I are going to the Ace Savvy Convention tomorrow."
[The Loud sisters appear uninterested]
Lori: "And...?"
Clyde: "And of course, we'll be going dressed as Ace and Jack."
Lincoln: "But we thought... why hag all the fun? Why not invite you guys to come too, as your characters from our comic, The Full Deck."
[A red background pops up, then the narrator introduces the characters, as well as what they look like, one by one]
Narrator: "The Full Deck! Featuring, The High Card, The Eleven of Hearts, The Night Club, The Joker, The Strong Suit, The Eight of Spades, The Royal Flush, The Queen of Diamonds, The Card Counter, The Deuce!" [explosion appears]
[The Loud sisters disagree on Lincoln and Clyde's idea]
Lincoln: "Wa- wa- wait! Did we mention that if we win this cosplay we get to be in the next Ace Savvy movie?"
Lori: "Movie? Like, a real one?"
Lucy: "Not the kind you and Clyde make in the backyard with your little toys."
Lincoln: "They're called action figures, and no, this is the real thing. On the big screen!"
Luna: "That's like a huge deal!"
Lola: "I will prance around at your weird convention all day for the chance to be in a Hollywood movie!"
[The Loud sisters then agree in unison]
Lincoln: "Fantastic! Okay, if we're going to win, we need to turn you into Ace Savvy experts!"
[The Loud sisters stare into each other as if they don't know about it]

Lincoln: "The Fortress of Solitaire." [picture transition] "The Ace Signal."
[picture transition] "The Bad Guys." [picture transition] "And this baby's called the High Roller. It's got 400 horse power-go indoors..."
Clyde: "And the latest in front inside, airbag technology-"
[Lincoln and Clyde hear cellphone noises, revealed to be the Loud sisters using them while they have their presentation]
Lincoln: "Hey! You guys were supposed to silence your phones. Who are you even texting?"
Lori: "Leni, that's not how you spell bored."
Leni: "Sorry guys, but we've been listening for hours. When do we get to the costumes?"
[Lincoln and Clyde both nod. At Lincoln's snap of a finger, a montage shows up with the Loud sisters dressing up as the Full Deck.]
Lincoln: "You guys look perfect! To the con!"
Luna: "Woohoo! Rock 'n roll!" [accidentally activates the jetpack, causing her to fly and crash through a wall]
Lincoln: "Nice use of your jetpack, Night Club!"

[The Loud siblings plus Clyde arrive at the Convention Center. Some of them glance around the interior of the con]
Lori: "This is actually pretty cool."
Lucy: "Wow. This is incredible."
Leni: "What's that?"
Lisa: Hmm. Interesting."
Luan: "Wow!"
Lana: "Ooh, it's a creature."
Lola: "That outfit, I want it!"
[Lincoln and Lana bump on a man dressed as Wild Card Willy]
Wild Card Willy Cosplayer: "Hey, pal! You gotta wait in line to see the Kitty, just like everybody else. No cuts!"
[Camera pans to a line of people awaiting to meet Kitty, along with a cat noise]
Lana: "Who's the Kitty? Is it a real cat?"
Lincoln: "Lana, we went over this in our presentation."
Clyde: "He's the most vicious villain in the Ace Savvy universe."
Lana: [astonishes] "Oh, I have to pet him!"
Lincoln: "Sorry Lans, no time." [drags Lana away from the line] "We gotta focus on impressing the judges. They decide who wins 'Kings of the Con', so keep your eyes peeled for two people in orange vests."
Leni: "Would you say it's a traffic cone orange, or more of a clementine?"
[They all glance at two people, eating pizzas. Arrows pop up pointing on them]
Lincoln: "Good job, Leni. Action poses, go!"
[The Full House Gang rush and pose on the judges]
Female Judge: "Oh, wow. This must be the Full Deck from Issue #415. Very impressive."
[Lincoln bows, but his cape hits Clyde's face]
Clyde: "Ow! My chip!" [accidentally unleashes the chip, hitting the male judge's back]
Male Judge: "Ah!" [grunts, looking at Lincoln and Clyde, then he, and the female judge, leave]
Clyde: "Sorry."
Lincoln: "Well, the important thing is, we got their attention, and they really seem to like your sisters."
Lincoln: "True. And when they stand out, it's good for all of us. We're one step closer to being in our movie!"
Clyde: "Wish I could just, fix this belt!" [unleashes three chips, which hit his face, then faints]

Guessing Booth Attendant: "Is anyone around here savvy enough to ace this challenge? Try this "How Much This Jar of Pokers Chips is Worth", and win a gold poker chip!"
Lincoln: "Ooh, here's the chance to impress the judges."
Clyde: "Ace and Jack are on the case!"
[Lincoln and Clyde stand in front of the attendant]
Lincoln: "So, if the green chips are worth 25 dollars..."
Clyde: "And we have to think about the volume of the jar, minus the air, plus the-"
Lisa: "That's 7,652 dollars. And if you give me a moment, I can convert it to cryptocurrency."
Guessing Booth Attendant: "Wow. You're exactly right!"
Female Judge: "Impressive work! You really live up to your name, Card Counter."
Lisa: "Thank you. Though the credit from my character belongs to my brother, Lincoln, and his compatriot, Clyde."
Clyde: "Co-authors of Issue 415!"
Lincoln: "Happy to sign a copy for you- Ugh, this pen!"
[The ink on Lincoln's pen splash on the judges, angering them while Lincoln and Clyde smile nervously in response]

Lisa: "No Thanks. They’re charging 12 bucks for a corn dog and a Cape!

Lori: "Hairballs! I thought it was Lana’s Job to deal with these."
Lana: "Save me one would you."

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