The following is a transcript for the episode "Last Loud on Earth".


[In a desolate small town, a man and his dog are running for their lives, being pursued by zombies.]
Colonel Austin: "More zombies, better put a little distance between us." [Austin slides across a puddle and grabs the leash of his dog. He throws it around a tree and attaches the other end to a tree across the road. The zombies get closer, growling and snarling, then Austin grabs the leash and uses it to slingshot the zombies away.] "Well Goldie, looks like we just gave ourselves a new leash on life."
[Goldie barks, liking the joke. The whole thing is a movie being watched by Lincoln and Clyde.]
Clyde: "Colonel Austin is such a boss! Taking out zombies, and lightening the mood."
[There's a growl on the TV.]
TV Announcer: "Swarm of the Zombies will return after these messages. And stick around, the all-night movie marathon continues with parts two through five."
Lincoln: "We're not going anywhere."
[The boys clink their juice boxes and drink when suddenly, the lights come on.]
Lynn Sr.: "Alright my little zombie heads, let's go, time for bed."
Clyde: [Confident] "Mmm-hmm."
Lincoln: "Okay, Dad. Come on, Clyde." [Walks off]
Clyde: "Wait, what?" [Follows Lincoln]
Lynn Sr.: "I said, it's t-" [Realizes] "Wow, that was easier than I expected. [The boys are heading upstairs.] Oh, wait, Clyde, I promised your dads a timestamped picture of you on your way to bed, here we go."
[He takes the photo. The boys enter Lincoln's room.]
Clyde: "I can't believe you gave up so fast, Lincoln, I was expecting a big protest with slides, and maybe even some well-timed tears."
Lincoln: "No need for that my friend, because I knew this would happen, and I have a backup plan: we're gonna sneak out and watch the rest of the marathon in Lisa's bunker."
Clyde: "Great idea, but how are we gonna break through her security system?"
Lincoln: "Oh please, the code is her birthday. Lisa may be a genius, but she's terrible at creating passcodes."
[Lincoln opens the panel behind his 'Amazing Space' poster and pulls the cord. His inflatable slide opens up, and the boys slide down it.]

[The boys are in Lisa's bunker, it's 12:15 AM.]
TV Announcer: "And now, back to Swarm of the Zombies Part Two: Runaway Brain."
Colonel Austin: "We may not be able to stop these freaks, but we can slow them down."
[He takes a barrel of toxic sludge and props it onto the door, he and Goldie run for cover. A zombie enters, but the sludge eats right through hands, and he passes out. 2:20 AM.]
TV Announcer: "We now return to Part Three: Brain Man."
[Austin is trying to hold a door shut, but the zombies are very strong.]
Colonel Austin: "Don't worry, nobody's getting into our secret hideout, Goldie." [Goldie tosses Austin a talkie, Austin stops it with his knee and kicks it up and out of the hideout, it lands a distance away. Austin talks into the other one.] "Hey zombies, got some fresh brains for you, skull to table."
[The zombies hear this from the talkie Austin kicked out and go over to where the sound came from, Goldie and Austin high five each other. 4:45 AM.]
TV Announcer: "Now, back to Part Four: Citizen Brain." [Austin and Goldie are climbing an oil tower, and kick a barrel sending the oncoming zombies over a cliff, Lincoln and Clyde high five. 6:55 AM.] "And now, back to the exciting conclusion of Part Five: Nothing Ventured Nothing Brained."
[The zombies are all stuffed into a rocket.]
Colonel Austin: [Holding the remote] "Wanna do the honors, Goldie?"
[Goldie hits the button, and the zombies are sent into space, the exhaust smoke reads 'the end..?'. Lincoln and Clyde cheer.]
Lincoln: "I knew they could do it!" [Suddenly he sees the time.] "Ooh, it's 7:00 AM, we better sneak back up to my room." [They poke their heads through the entrance to the bunker, and then the back door, and find the kitchen empty.] "Oh, good, no one's up yet."
[They continue through the house, and grow confused when they can't find anyone. They notice that Lynn and Lucy's bedroom is empty, yet a mess.]
Lincoln: "Hmm, I guess they are up."
Clyde: "Pretty early for a Saturday, isn't it?"
Lincoln: "I wonder where they are." [The boys look downstairs, and check the parents' bedroom.] "Mom?! Dad?!" [The bed is unmade, but the room is empty.] "They're gone too? I'd better call them." [Takes out his phone] "Huh, no service."
Clyde: [Tries turning on the lamp.] "No electricity either."
[They go outside and find the whole street is empty and eerily gloomy, the only sound is a window shutter.]
Lincoln: "This is weird, come on." [They run next door to Mr. Grouse's house, the front door is wide open.] "Mr. Grouse?"
[The house is in the same state at the Louds, a big mess, but totally empty.]
Clyde: "His place is empty too, and it looks like he left in a hurry."
[The boys run through the streets, checking other houses, but eventually return to Lincoln's.]
Lincoln: "Hmm, empty houses, abandoned streets, no power, if I didn't know better, I'd swear we woke up in a zombie apocalypse."
Clyde: "Ha, that's funny, it does kinda looks like it, the only thing missing is an actual-"
[Suddenly they hear growling, they look over and see a dark figure slowly approaching them, and gulp.]
Lincoln and Clyde: "Zombie!"
Lincoln: "Run!"
[The boys run for it, and hide behind a fence. The zombie is nowhere in sight.]
Clyde: "We lost it, but who knows how many more are out here?" [Gasps] "Do you think they got our families?"
Lincoln: "I doubt it, Lynn's a blackbelt and Lola's a biter."
Clyde: "Yeah and my dads are really tough. They once fought off fifty angry shoppers for antique candelabra."
[Brief silence]
Lincoln: "Listen, Clyde, we knew this day would come. Right now, let's get to our secret hideout for supplies and zombie-fighting gear."
Clyde: "Good call."
Both: [As they roll out] "Clincoln McCloud."
[The run through the streets, keeping out of sight, while looking out for more zombies. They stop in front of the Burpin' Burger.]
Clyde: "Mind if we stop at the Burpin' Burger? I need to use the bathroom, I know it's for paying customers, but I really have to go."
Lincoln: "It's the apocalypse, Clyde, I think that rule is out the window."
[The boys enter the restaurant, and find it empty.]
Clyde: "Huh, looks like everyone left here in a hurry, too."
Lincoln: [Quivers] "Or were attacked by zombies." [Sees Clyde's not next to him.] "Clyde?" [The boys enter the bathroom when there's a moaning outside.] "The zombies."
Clyde: [Zips up] "Never mind, I'll pee later!"
[The boys look around, and see the window is open.]
Lincoln: "Remember what Colonel Austin said? We might not be able to stop them, but we can slow 'em down."
[Lincoln grabs the garbage can and props it on the door, Clyde is struggling to climb through the window, Lincoln gives him a boost, and follows after him. They land outside and hear the sound of their trap being sprung, they're pleased by this.]
Clyde: [Offers a fist bump] "Clincoln."
Lincoln: [Returns it] "McCloud."
[They explode their fists.]

[Later, they arrive at Flip's, and look inside.]
Lincoln: "Okay, Flip's, looks zombie free." [They start getting stuff.] "Grab what you can, I put a ton of cheese and crackers in our secret hideout, but that was like, five years ago."
Flip: "Freeze bozos!" [The boys get startled and drop everything.] "There are no freebies in Flip's house."
Lincoln & Clyde: [Hopeful] "Flip."
Clyde: "He's alive!"
[They head for the backroom, but right when they enter...]
Flip: "Freeze bozos!"
Lincoln & Clyde: "Huh?"
[Flip's voice was revealed to be a tape recording.]
Recording: "There are no freebies in Flip's house."
Clyde: "Do you think the zombies got him?"
Lincoln: "I hope not, he's got the secret recipe for flippees."
[They gasp when they hear a moaning outside, they look and see a figure bent over behind the counter. They also see the nacho machine, Clyde gives a signal, they swing on some bunting and kick the cheese at the figure.]
Clyde: "Eat congealed cheese, zombie!"
[The boys make a run for it.]

[The boys make it to Tall Timbers Park, and keep out of sight until they find their secret hideout.]
Lincoln: "Quick! Into the secret hideout."
[He pulls some branches out from an opening to a cave hidden behind a large boulder and he and Clyde enter. In their hideout, Clyde checks the snacks, while Lincoln tunes their radio. There's a noise-making Clyde scream.]
Lincoln: [Regarding the radio] "I think we got something."
Mayor Davis: "This is Mayor Davis, if there are any stragglers out there, I urge you to please come to the mall."
Lola: "Lincoln! Clyde! She's talking to you! Get your butts down here!"
Rita: "Lola! Give that back to the mayor."
Lincoln: "Yes!"
Clyde: "Our families are okay! Now we just need to get to them." [Attempts to move the boulder.]
Lincoln: [Stops him] "Clyde, wait."
[There's more moaning outside and the boys look at each other.]
Clyde: "More zombies? What do we do? I know, throw our spiciest jerky at them and give them heartburn."
'Lincoln: "Or," [picks up their walkie talkies.] "We borrow another move from Colonel Austin." [Throws the other talkie through the opening above the boulder, it lands in the bushes outside. Two figures are there.]
Clyde: [Through the talkie] "Fresh brains over here, and you're gonna wanna munch on mine, I just aced my math test."
[They hear the zombies moving the other way.]
Lincoln: "Let's move." [They pack their gear.] "Good job on that test, by the way, I know you studied really hard." [The boys exit the hideout and run into the forest, they look back and see a figure behind them.] "Another zombie, we gotta lose it; or we'll be leading it straight to our families."
Clyde: "Quick, grab a branch." [The boys grab some low branches and pull them back, the figure approaches.]"Now!" [They let go of the branches, propelling the figure away.]
Lincoln: "Zombs away."
[They run off.]

[They run past the supermarket, and see another figure in front of them. Clyde jumps into Lincoln's arms and they run inside. They peek out from behind the crate of watermelons.]
Lincoln: [Looks around] "Quick, open that freezer door." [Clyde does so, then Lincoln tips over an icebox and ducks behind the counter. The figure enters and slips on the ice; he lands in the freezer and the boys shut him in.] "Let's get to the mall."
[They run, but slip on the ice on their way out.]

[They run into a construction site, see three figures headed their way, and dive behind a pile of bricks.]
Clyde: "Even more zombies? It's like their multiplying."
[Lincoln notices a dumpster nearby.]
Lincoln: "Come on, I've got an idea." [Pulls Clyde away. One figure points, inside the dumpster, are two pillows with construction helmets, Clyde's glasses, and the boys' shirts, the figures go over. Nearby, the real Lincoln and Clyde are without their shirts, and holding a steel girder.] "Tine to take out the trash." [The boys use the girder to ram the dumpster away, taking the zombies with it.] "Come on, let's go." [The dumpster rolls away, and Lincoln puts a new orange polo on.] "Good thing we kept backup clothes in the secret hideout."
Clyde: [Catches up with Lincoln, wearing a lavender button-down and a red bowtie.] "Yeah, but I wish I hadn't gone so formal.
[Lincoln stops, and Clyde runs right into him, the mall is right there.]
Lincoln: "There's the mall! We made it!" [Just then, the dumpster makes a turnaround, the boys look and see it headed right for them, they scream and dive into a bush.] "Dang it, we forgot the roundabout at 4th and Maple."
[The dumpster stops at the steps of the mall, and the figures climb.]
Clyde: "Oh no, we doomed our families!"
Lincoln: "It's not too late! We can still stop them from getting inside, let's gear up." [Goes into the bush.]
Clyde: "Right, brain protectors."
[They come out of the bush wearing colander helmets, and holding squirt guns.]
Lincoln: Here goes, everything."
[The boys let out a battle cry and charge. The three figures see Lincoln and Clyde running towards them, firing their squirt guns, one figure gets the juice in his mouth and falls over, the boys keep charging, their colanders fall over their eyes, another figure gets the juice in his eye and yells. All three figures walk to the boys.]
Clyde: "We're out of juice!"
Lincoln: "Forget the blasters, hand to hand combat!"
[With the colanders still over their eyes, the boys jump on the figures and start beating them up, until they hear a familiar voice.]
Rita: "Lincoln! Clyde!" [The two remove the colanders, and see all the female Louds, Mayor Davis, Mr. Grouse, and various others.] "you're hurting your fathers!"
Lincoln & Clyde: "Huh?"
[They turn around and see the figures are indeed their own fathers, who are in serious pain; they gasp at this exposition, and run up to them.]
Lincoln: [In unison] "Sorry, Dad."
Clyde: [In unison] "Sorry Dads."
Lincoln: "We thought you were zombies, we've been fighting them all day."
Lynn Sr.: [Strained] "No you haven't, you've been fighting us."
Lincoln & Clyde: "What?"
Howard: [Also strained] "We've been trying to find you, see, there was a big storm last night."
[Flashback to last night. Mayor Davis is on the TV news.]
Mayor Davis: "This is Mayor Davis, I urge all citizens of Royal Woods to evacuate to the mall," [The Loud girls frantically make a run for Vanzilla.] "we have supplies and a generator so you can wait out the storm there."
[The signal goes out. Rita is loading the girls in the van, Lynn Sr. approaches her.]
Lynn Sr.: "I can't find Lincoln and Clyde! Take the girls to the mall, the McBrides and I will find the boys."
[Rita gets in the van and Lynn Sr. takes off. End flashback.]
Lynn Sr: "We've been chasing you, boys, all over town, yelling our voices out."
Clyde: "So all the zombies we thought we attacked were really [gulps] you guys?" [The dads agree and have the injuries to prove it. The boys look at each other feeling horrible.] "Wow, we're really sorry."
Rita: "So where were you during the storm?"
Lincoln: [Meekly] "Uh, [nervously chuckles] watching the 'Swarm of the Zombies' marathon in Lisa's bunker."
Lisa: [Aghast] "What?! Impossible! How did you crack my passcode?"
Everyone else: "It's your birthday."
Lisa: "Dang it."
Rita: "Normally, we would punish you for sneaking out of the house like that, but I think you've been through enough today."
Lynn Sr.: [Aghast] "They've been through enough?! I've got melted cheese everywhere!" [Slaps some out of his ear.]
Lincoln: "We're really sorry about that, Dad."
Clyde: "And the ice at the grocery store."
Lincoln: "And the branches at the park."
Clyde: "And the garbage can at the Burpin' Burger."
[The boys sheepishly smile.]
Howard: [Confused] "I didn't go to the Burpin Burger."
Lynn Sr.: "Neither did I."
Harold: "Neither did I."
[Everyone is speechless, wondering who was at the Burpin' Burger.]

[At the Burpin' Burger, there is another figure with a zombie-like appearance and making munching sounds. The figure takes a piece of what looks like it's own head, and the lights come on revealing it to just be Flip, the zombie head being the garbage the boys dumped on him.]
Flip: [With no regrets, belches.] "Oh yeah! Free burgers! they might be cold, but Flip ain't complainin'."
[Flip continues eating, as the lightning strikes.]

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