The following is a transcript for the episode "Leni Loud".
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Leni is at the Royal Woods Mall. She's testing out the mic] Leni:[to the listeners] "Hello? Hello? Helloooooo?" [to her brother] "Lincoln, how do you turn this thing on?" Lincoln: "Leni, it is on. That's what that red light is." Leni:[cheerfully] "Oh, great! How do I look?" Lincoln: "Leni, it's a podcast. No one can see you." Leni: "Then why did I spend $70 on a new outfit? Oh well, never mind." [to the listeners] "Hey, guys! This is Leni Loud, and it's my turn to host the Listen Out Loud podcast. Today, I'm gonna give you a tour of my favorite place in the world- The Royal Woods Mall!" [a celebratory jingle plays with firework sound effects] "Those aren't real fireworks, they're sound effects, brought to you by my brother Lincoln, who's my little helper on this podcast." Lincoln: "More of a producer, really." Leni: "So this mall is basically where I spend, like, 90% of my life. I buy all my clothes here, all my presents, all my scented candles, which I give as presents. So let's just walk around and I'll tell you about all the amazing stuff at the Royal Woods Mall." [the celebratory sound effect plays again] "So we'll start at the nail salon." [a bell rings as they enter] "I once saw Patchy Drizzle getting a mani-pedi in here. He's our local weatherman and a huge celebrity. But real talk? His toenails were super flakey. Probably because he's always wearing mandals. Wait, what was I talking about?" Lincoln: "The nail salon." Leni: "I don't think anyone wants to hear about that, Lincoln. Let's move on." [they continue their tour] "This is my favorite shoe store my friends and I buy tons of shoes here they're usually marked down fifty percent unless they have a purple sticker which means they're half off." Lincoln: "Wait. What's the difference?" Leni: "Oh. There's the owner. Hey, Mr. Sherman." Mr. Sherman: "Hello, Leni. We just got a shipment of those floral clogs you like. I'll save you a pair." Leni: "Great. Daffodil, please." [they move on] "So, this is the pet store this is where my family buys toys and food for Lana." Lincoln: "And our pets." Leni: "Oh, yeah, them too." Lincoln: "Aw, look at that cute puppy in the window." Leni: "I'm sorry, Lincoln, I can't. If I make eye contact, I'll want to adopt him. Let's keep moving." [they move on. Suddenly there's the sound of police chirps] "Oh, hey Ernie!" Ernie: "Hiya, Leni!" Leni: "Everyone, this is Ernie, one of the fantastic mall cops here at Royal Woods Mall." [Lincoln plays the fireworks again] Ernie: "What was that?! A firecracker?" [into his radio] "I'm gonna need back up!" Lincoln: "No, sir, it's okay those were just my incredibly real sound effects. Lincoln Loud, producer." Ernie: "Oh, cancel that backup." Leni: "We'll see you later Ernie good luck with that blind date on Friday." Ernie:[takes off] "Thanks, kid! I'm gonna wear that sweater you picked out for me!" [leaves. Leni and Lincoln continue the tour] Leni: "Now this is the fro-yo place. My friends and I hang out here a lot. Their yogurt is delicious and they have amazing toppings. My friend Erica is obsessed with a guy who works the cash register. Before that, she was obsessed with the mall train conductor. And before that, it was a guy who turned out to be a mannequin… Wait what was I talking about?" Lincoln: "The fro-yo store. Oh. Speaking of which, maybe we should stop in there and grab a snack. I could use a little break." Leni: "Lincoln, we just started. We have a lot of ground to cover." [Lincoln sighs. They continue] "Here's the Music Store perfect for Luna's presents." [they continue] "This is the princess store, great for Lola presents…" [they continue] "Here's the health food store, great for buying Lori her local bean chips." Lincoln: "And here's the arcade, which I'm sure the listeners will want to know more about. Should we stop in and try out a few games?" Leni: "Not now, Lincoln. We're about to go to the most important stop on our tour." Lincoln: "But as your producer, I think…" Leni: "So this is our big department store. It's what we mall experts call an anchor store. But, I've never seen an anchor in here. Let's go in, shall we?" [they enter] "Chet's on piano today! Hi, Chet!" Chet: "There she is! This one goes out to you, Leni." [plays some mood music] Leni: "Don't you just feel better about life the moment you walk in here?" [sighs] Lincoln:[record needle scratch] "I'd feel better if I were blasting aliens with a laser cannon." Leni: "Lincoln, you're killing the mood." [they continue] "This is the makeup section. They have lots of product testers, which come in really handy if you have an emergency. Like if one eye looks bigger than the other." Morris:[gasps] "Hello, Leni Loud!" Leni:[squeals] "Morris!" Morris: "You look fabulous, as always." Leni: "So do you! Everyone, this is my friend Morris. He's a salesperson and the store's best stylist." Morris: "'Everyone'? Are we on TV? What's happening? Should I call my agent?" Leni: "No, we're doing a live podcast! This is my brother-" Lincoln: "Lincoln Loud, producer." Morris: "Well. hello Lincoln. So what's our podcast about?" Leni: "I'm giving the listeners a tour of the Royal Woods Mall." [Lincoln plays the fireworks again] Morris: "Ooh, a high-tech production. Well, listeners you couldn't have a better tour guide. This girl is a fashion powerhouse." Leni: "Oh please Morris you're the fashion genius." Morris: "Well, I don't know about genius… Okay genius, why not? Wait, but speaking of fashion… Lincoln we need to talk. Please pick up the blue courtesy phone." Lincoln: "Excuse me?" Morris: "You're adorable, but this look you're rocking: the orange polo, the jeans, the sneakers. The 1950's just called, you're late for your Salisbury steak dinner." Lincoln: "I have no idea what you just said." Morris: "Sweetie, we need to do you." Lincoln: "What? No, I'm fine." Leni: "Lincoln, getting Morris to give you a makeover is, like, an unbelievable honor." Morris: "Our young gent's section is right over there" Lincoln: "But…" Morris: "What about this cute top?" Lincoln: "Top? I usually wear shirts." Leni: "Let's just put it on you." [they put it on] Lincoln: "Watch the mic!" Morris: "It's a start. How about a nice unstructured blazer over that?" Lincoln: "Uh…" Leni: "Just try it, Lincoln." [Lincoln sighs and puts it on] Morris: "Hmm, what's missing?" Lincoln:[deadpan] "My dignity?" Morris: "A hat! A straw porkpie would be cute." [gets one] "There. And last but not least we need a new scent for you." Lincoln: "What's wrong with my old scent?" Morris: "Hmm. That was more of a smell. Try this." [sprays Lincoln] Leni: "Lincoln you look amazing." Lincoln: "I'm just glad this is a podcast so no one can see me." Todd: "Yo, Loud!" Lincoln: "Oh no. Hey, Todd, hey, Richie." Todd: "Didn't know you were such a fashion plate, Loud." Lincoln: "I'm not. This is just-" Todd: "Hilarious? Couldn't agree more. Let me just get a few pics so I can share with everyone at school." [takes photos] "Later, handsome. Oh, also, love the new smell." Lincoln: "It's called a scent!" [the bullies leave, laughing] "Okay, well my life is over." Morris: "Oh, they're just jealous of your sizzling new look." Lincoln: "Trust me they're not. Here Morris, please take your clothes back before anyone else I know sees me. Leni, can we just go home now?" Leni: "I'm sorry, Lincoln. I didn't mean to embarrass you. We can go." [gets an idea] "After we do one more thing, come on." [they go somewhere] Lincoln:[gasps] "We're going to the fro-yo place?" Leni: "Yep, my treat." Cashier: "All right so the total for the two fro-yos comes to $8.50." [The two Louds eat the fro-yos] Lincoln: "Thanks, Leni this is delicious. Though, I got so excited about the toppings I forgot to put yogurt in here." Leni: "You're welcome, and now we're stopping in here." Lincoln: "The arcade?" Leni: "Yep, one hour of games on me. It's to thank you for being my helper- I mean, producer- and for being such a good sport." Lincoln: "Yes! You're the best, Leni." Leni: "I don't know any other Lenis. Well, podcast listeners, thanks for tuning in. I'm your host, Leni Loud, and- oh no, I just made eye contact with a puppy. Gotta go!"
