The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Gus' Games and Grub: Rusty is playing Dance Battle: Mika's Game.] Rusty: "Oh yeah! Work it! Ooh, ah! I'm the best! Ooh! Ooh!" Mika:"FINISH."[The scene cuts to the results screen and shows Rusty's score. His player name is "Rustman12", and his score is 99,999,999.]"WOW, YOU'RE GOOD." Rusty: "Yeah, I'm pretty much the be--" Mika:"BUT NOT THE BEST. GROOVEMASTER15 NOW IN FIRST PLACE. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME."[Rusty is shown in second place.] Rusty: "What? This game is rigged, dawg!" [He kicks at the machine, which annoys the announcer. As a result, Rusty falls to 99th place.] "What?! Ugh, I need a pizza! Ugh, stupid, stupid game!" [Rusty walks by a booth where Lucy is sitting with Boris and Morpheus. Morpheus is looking in a spell book with his crow, Thorn.] Boris:[groans] "Boris has been waiting an eternity for our pizza." Morpheus:[clears his throat] "Allow me to help." [He turns through the pages in the book.] "Pillows, pinwheels, pitchforks... Ah, pizza!" [He reads the spell incantation written within the book, and the whole book begins glowing.] "'Sauce like blood and cheese that bubbles. Bring our pizza on the double!!'" [A green wisp swirls in the air, then it flies toward the pickup counter where Rusty and another customer are waiting in annoyance. The wisp picks up a pizza box on the counter, and Rusty gasps as it flies past him. But it smacks him in the face, covering him with pepperoni and mushrooms. He shakes them off vigorously.] Rusty: "Watch the hair!" [The pizza drifts over to the Morticians Club's table, then it lands and stops glowing. Boris and Lucy begin eating.] "Oh, wow! Hmm..." [He thinks for a moment, then he runs over to Lucy.] "Hey, Lucy. Uh, still gothin' it up, I see. Anyway, can I get an intro to your wizard friend?" Lucy:[annoyed] "Ugh, whatever gets you to leave me alone the quickest. Hey Morpheus, this is my brother's friend, Rusty." Rusty:[He walks over to Morpheus and bows to him.] "Oh, great and powerful Wizard of 'Za. I saw that trick you just did, pretty sweet. You wouldn't happen to have any spells that could, say, help me get the high score in Dance Battle?" Morpheus: "Ugh, normie dancing, so cringe." Rusty: "You call this cringe?" [He shows off his dancing skills, ending with a split.] "Aw, yeah!" [The Morticians Club members cringe, so Rusty stands up.] "What if I sweeten the deal: 30% off headwear at Duds for Dudes." [Thorn caws.] Morpheus: "Hmm, Thorn is in need of a new top hat. [He sighs and skims through the book's pages.] "Very well. Ah, yes." [As he begins to read the spell, the book begins glowing again.] "'Beneath the moon the dancers go, not too fast and not too slow. Banish demons of defeat, enchant this mortal's two left feet.'" Rusty:[The wisp flies out of the book and into Rusty's body.] "Huh?" [Suddenly, his legs begin glowing.] "Uhh, whoa!" [He flies over to Dance Battle, and one of his shoes flies off. He grabs a coin with his toes and places it in the coin slot.] Mika:"LET'S DANCE." Rusty: "Whah-whoa!" [His glowing legs begin dancing faster at the game to everyone's amazement.] "Yeah! Oh, show 'em! Show 'em!" [He presses a floor button, then he does a handstand.] Mika:"FINISH."[The word appears around Rusty as a tiger growl is heard, and he moves to first place.]"WOW, YOU'RE THE BEST!" Rusty:[The glowing stops, and he stands up again.] "Ha! Take that, GrooveMaster15!" [He walks back to Morpheus and slaps his back, to Morpheus's annoyance.] "Dude, major props! You know, you're alright. We should hang." Morpheus: "Why would we do that?" Rusty:[hesitates] "Uh, 'cause, y'know, we have a lot in common, like, we're both...dudes." [Morpheus is unconvinced, and Rusty relents.] "Okay, fine. I'm into the spells! Maybe we can help each other out? You scratch my back, I scratch yours?" Morpheus:[taking it literally] "Ugh, I loathe being touched by human hands. But perhaps, there's another way you can repay me: I'll grant you one day of spells if at nightfall, you grant me one favor." Rusty: "Rustman's always down to do a bro a solid." Morpheus: "Very well." [He takes a contract out of his cape.] "Sign here in blood." [A flash of lightning cracks, and Rusty shrieks, then Morpheus takes out a pen.] "Or red pen. Your call." [Rusty takes the pen and the contract, and he signs it eagerly.]
[The Spokes house: Rusty and Morpheus are in the bathroom, and Thorn has a new top hat.] Rusty: "Aw, this is gonna be so sweet! I've always wanted a cool 'stache! Now remember: thick and bushy." Morpheus:[He reads the spell book.] "'Scales of newt, mane of a bull, let the lip grow nice and full.'" [The wisp shoots out of the book and to Rusty, but he is shown with oversized lips.] Rusty:[now having a lisp] "How's it wook? Does it wook gweat?" [realizes] "Wait, something feews weiwd." [He looks in the mirror.] "Ahh! What did wou do?!" Morpheus:[He looks in the book in horror, then he realizes the problem.] "Oh, sorry. My bad, missed a word. I should have said 'lip hair.' Let's try that again." [Rusty frowns--or so it seems, as his oversized lips are stuck in a smile.]
[Duds for Dudes: Exterior] Rodney: "Looking good, son!" [The scene cuts to Rusty, who is looking in a mirror inside the store. His lips are now back to normal, plus he has a thick and bushy mustache.] Rusty: "I know." [He heads over to his dad and Morpheus.] Rodney: "Thanks for lending a hand at the summer sale, you two. We've got to sell every single piece of last season's inventory, so turn on that ol' Spokes charm! I'll man the cash register. Good luck, boys." [He walks off] Rusty: "Okay, Morphie--" Morpheus: "No." Rusty:[clears his throat] "Morpheus, I'm gonna need one of your spells to sell all this old merch. Otherwise, I'm gonna be here all day." Morpheus: "Let's see..." [takes out the spell book] "Ah, here it is: Denim desire. This should work. 'Spirits of persuasion, hear my spell, spell, spell. Make these wretched garments sell, sell, sell.'" [The wisp flies out of the book and out of the store. Once outside, it sends four smaller wisps into the heads of four people outside. Their bodies glow, and then so do their eyes.] People:[trancelike] "Must have denim." [They run inside the store, as do several more people.] "Must have denim." [Morpheus runs out of the way, but Rusty yells as he tries to get away. He is caught in a fight cloud, and when it dissipates, all he is left wearing is his underwear. He is very embarrassed, but he sees that all the denim products have been sold.] Rusty: "Oh, success!" [He runs over to Morpheus.] "Now that we did the duds, let's do the dating." [Morpheus groans.]
[Royal Woods Mall: Rusty--now having his clothes back--and Morpheus are in the food court. Rusty scans the area, then he notices someone.] Rusty: "There she is." [The screen pans to a redheaded girl at Spaghetti on a Stick. She receives an order from Gavin.] "Amber from Hazeltucky. Isn't she amazing?" [Hearts and sparkles appear in the background with a harp crescendo as she slurps her spaghetti. The scene cuts back to Rusty, who is eyeing her lovingly.] "I wanna ask her out, but I could use a boost from the spell master, if you catch my drift." [Morpheus and Thorn sigh.] "Nothing major. Just, you know, enhance my natural charm and make everything I say hilarious." Morpheus: "I'm a mortician, not a miracle worker." [He and Thorn cackle, then high five.] Rusty: "Come on, a deal's a deal! You promised me spells for the whole day! Quick, before she walks away!" Morpheus: "Calm down! I can't work under pressure." [He looks in the spell book, then he sighs and begins to read it as the book glows.] "'Calling on the spirit of Hades, make this mortal irresistible to the ladies.'" [The wisp swirls around Rusty's body and shocks him, making the sides of his hair stand up.] Rusty: "Aw, yeah! I feel the power already!" [His body glows and floats over to Amber, who is laughing with a friend. Rusty lands beside her and taps on her shoulder, so Amber turns around.] "Hey, Amber, right? I'm Rusty." [His body lets out a surge, causing Amber's eyes to glow.] Amber:[laughs] "Oh my gosh, you're so funny!" Rusty: "Really? I mean--yeah, sure. I know, humor, it's kind of my brand." Amber:[laughs] "Oh my gosh, stop!" [gasps] "We should hang out sometime. Maybe Gus's, tonight?" Rusty: "Seriously? I mean--I can probably make that happen if I move some plans around the old schedge'." Amber:[confused] "Wait, so is that a yes?" Rusty: "Yes! Totally, a thousand percent!" Amber:[She laughs, then walks away.] "See you tonight, Rusty!" Rusty:[He chuckles in admiration.] "See ya." [He faints as Morpheus walks over, then he stands back up.] "It worked! I have a date! Oh, I'd better go figure out what to wear! Thanks for the help today, dawg." [He begins to walk away.] Morpheus: "Uh, aren't you forgetting our deal? Now you owe me something." Rusty: "Oh, right. Sure, what'll it be?" [He takes out a wad of cash.] "Cash?" [He twirls around.] "Hang sesh?" [twirls again] "Pop-and-lock lessons?" Morpheus:"Your hair." Rusty:[He is taken by surprise for a second, but then laughs.] "I thought you said my hair. I was like, 'ahhh!'" [laughs] Morpheus: "I did." [Rusty is shocked, and Morpheus takes out a razor.] "I need it for one of my spells." [He turns the razor on, and Rusty shrieks in horror.] Rusty: "Dude, get that thing away from me! You can't have my hair! It's my best feature!" Morpheus: "A deal's a deal. You signed a contract, bro." Rusty:[points in the other direction] "Look! A hearse!" [Morpheus and Thorn look in the direction while Rusty scampers away.] Morpheus:[He realizes he was tricked.] "Curses! He took advantage of my weakness for motorized corpse transport." Rusty: "See ya, chumps!" [He selfishly leaves the mall.] Morpheus: "Well, Thorn, if he won't fulfill his end of the bargain, we'll just have to make him pay." [The screen narrows as Morpheus and Thorn grin vengefully. A lightning bolt flashes.]
[Outside, Rusty is running off. As he does, he passes a fire hydrant.] Rusty: "Ha! Looks like the Rustman's in the clear." [A wisp flies into the fire hydrant. As Rusty gets on his bike, the hydrant suddenly wraps itself around Rusty and grabs him. Rusty screams in fear, but then the hydrant shoots a blast of water in his face. Rusty spits out the water and gasps. On top of the mall, he can see the silhouettes of Morpheus and Thorn glaring at him.] Rusty: "Morpheus!" [Morpheus grins, but Rusty shakes off the water and slips out of the hydrant, still not wanting to give up his hair. He lands beside his bike and puts on his helmet frantically, then he gets on and pedals away. As he rides along, the reddened sky is filled with dark storm clouds.] "Stay cool, Rustman. Just focus on the date." [At that moment, another wisp makes its way into the handlebars of Rusty's bike, and the bike begins rocking back and forth on its own.] "Hey, what's happening?" [Rusty tries to control his bike, but he can't because of Morpheus's spell. He runs straight through a cactus display outside a gardening store, covering him in thorns.] "Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! No, NO!" [The bike plows straight through a fence into a construction site, where it runs through a trough of wet cement and past three construction workers.] Worker 1: "Hey! Careful there!" Worker 2: "Look what you did!" Worker 3: "What are you doing?" Rusty:[Wet cement splashes all over his shirt.] "Aw, man! My shirt!" [He looks ahead in horror.] "Watch out!" [He plows straight through a Swiss hot dog vendor, and hot dogs go everywhere.] Swiss Vendor: "Oh, no! My wieners!" Rusty:[He has wieners in his face, so he shakes them out and groans.] "Huh? Whoa!" [His bike comes to a sudden stop and throws him against a brick wall. Rusty lands in a pile of trash bags, then he pulls himself out and pants, but then he gasps.] "Huh?" [Morpheus stands in the alleyway right in front of Rusty, grinning cynically.] Morpheus:[tauntingly] "You were warned. Good luck charming your normie girlfriend without my spell." [Rusty is still hesitant to give Morpheus his hair, so he gets on his bike and pedals away--but he can't go very fast because the bike has a flat tire.]
[Gus' Games and Grub: Rusty breathlessly arrives. He parks outside and takes off his helmet.] Rusty: "I don't need spells! The Rustman is oozing with charm!" [He quickly runs inside, where Amber is waiting.] "Amber! Hey, sorry I'm late." Amber: "What happened to your clothes?" Rusty: "Nothing! Uh, I'm rockin' the destroyed look. It's super trendy right now." [He dashes over a pulls out a chair.] "Shall we sit?" Amber: "Oh, thank you." [She begins to sit down, but a wisp flies into the chair's legs and slides it away, causing her to land on the ground.] Rusty: "Oh my gosh! That wasn't me!" [He looks over and sees Morpheus and Thorn.] Morpheus:[cackles] "This can all end if you just give me your hair." [He reveals the razor and grins deviously.] [Rusty screams, still not wanting to give up his hair. He runs away and drags Amber with him. He pushes her to a booth.] Rusty: "Let's just sit over here. The booths are more comfortable, anyway." [The two take a seat as Gus gives them each a strawberry milkshake.] Amber: "Thanks. Hope you don't mind, I ordered us some strawberry milkshakes." Rusty: "Perfect, 'cause you're shaking up my life." [Amber chuckles hesitantly, but while Rusty isn't looking, another wisp flies into his glass. As Rusty takes a sip, his milkshake turns moldy. He gets sick and spits it out...all over Amber, who gasps in disgust.] "I'm so sorry! Here!" [Rusty hands Amber a napkin, which she takes as Morpheus and Thorn hide behind the booth, cackling at Rusty's misfortune. Rusty angrily shoves them down.] "I'll make it up to you..." [He notices the claw machine.] "...by winning you a prize!" [Rusty pulls Amber over to the claw machine, then he puts a coin in the slot.] "I rule at the claw machine. Come on, teddy bear." [Another wisp possesses the claw arm, then it reaches through the prize chute and grabs Amber. She shrieks as the claw lifts her into the air.] Amber: "What are you doing?!" Rusty: "It's not me!" [Rusty frantically tries to control the claw, but to his horror, it drags Amber into the machine. She screams in horror as her fingers dig into the floor. Once she realizes she is inside the machine, she is angry.] Amber: "Rusty, get me out of here!" Rusty:[He realizes that only Morpheus can free her.] "Uh, one second, Amber." [He runs over to Morpheus, who is grinning at Rusty's misfortune.] "Please, stop!" Morpheus: "Oh, is something wrong, normie?" [Rusty nervously looks back at Amber, still stuck inside the claw machine and pounding furiously on the glass...] Amber: "RUSTY, YOU JERK!" [...then back at Morpheus, who is tauntingly holding the razor. Finally, Rusty can't take it anymore.] Rusty: "YOU WIN, MORPHEUS!" [Rusty snatches the razor from Morpheus's hand and shaves his head--plus his mustache. He places all his hair on top of Morpheus's pizza.] "Take it! Take it all! All my magnificent hair! Happy now?!" [To Rusty's surprise, Morpheus only takes one strand.] Morpheus: "Thank you." Rusty:[He is surprised that Morpheus only wanted one piece of his hair.] "What, that's it? A single hair?" Morpheus: "Yes, one strand should be sufficient for my spell. Thorn wants to be a redhead." Rusty:[angry] "If you only needed one, why didn't you stop me just now?!" Morpheus: "What fun would that be?" [Rusty twitches, furious that he shaved his head and went through all that trouble for nothing.] Rusty:[He grabs his hair and places it back on his head.] "Ugh, I am so done with spells." [He notices Amber and hurries back over to her, who is now free of Morpheus's spell and struggling to get out of the claw machine.] "So where were we, my precious Amber stone?" Amber:[furious] "We were done! This was the worst date ever! I never want to see you again!" [She throws a stuffed giraffe at Rusty, which hits him in the head and knocks off his hair.] Rusty:[He takes the stuffed giraffe.] "Well, lost my hair and the girl, but at least I got this sweet prize! Rustman's still winning!" [He runs off with the giraffe, leaving his discarded hair behind, and the episode ends.]
