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The Loud House Encyclopedia

The following is a transcript for the episode "Long Shot".

Script[]

Paramount Global The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.

[Morning at Chavez Academy, and Carl is in a particularly euphoric mood]
Carl: "Ah, I love Fridays. I can already smell the weekend. Freedom. Pizza."
[Ronnie Anne and Carlota are walking behind him, feeling desolate]
Ronnie Anne: "It's Monday, Carl."
[Carl groans, joining his hermana and prima's desolation. Just then, Principal Valenzuela approaches them]
Principal Valenzuela: [Upset] "Ah, just the Casagrande I've been looking for. I need to speak to you and it's important."
Carl: [Gasps] "Principal V! She knows about my milk scam. Initiate getaway plan!" [Pounds on a locker which reveals a biometric scanner, Carl scans his hand and the locker opens revealing a teal backpack. Carl puts it on] "Arrivederci, chumps."
[Two rocket boosters emerge from the backpack sending Carl - who forgot that he's inside - flying straight up, straight into the ceiling]
Principal Valenzuela: "Relax, Carl, I'm here for Carlota. This time."
[Carl pulls himself out of the ceiling]
Carl: "Ah, thank goodness."
[Carl suddenly remembers he's on the ceiling and drops. Meanwhile, Carlota approaches the principal squealing with excitement]
Carlota: "Does this mean you're finally taking me up on my makeover offer? I'll grab my emergency kit." [Takes out a little pink box which she drops to the floor, it opens and several containers of makeup emerge from it followed by a mirror] "We'll start with the hair right?"
[Grabs spray and a brush and prepares to start]
Principal Valenzuela: "Carlota, I'm here to tell you that you're missing a PE credit, you'll have to make it up, ASAP."
Carlota: [Not liking this] "Oh, no, see… I don't love sports so I took extra art classes. That should be enough credits, right?"
Principal Valenzuela: "I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. If you don't get that PE credit you can't graduate."
Carlota: [Shocked] "What!?"
Principal Valenzuela: [Suddenly more positive] "Good news is… there's still time to join a sport." [Walks away] "Have fun."
Carlota: [To her prima and hermano] "Worst day ever! First, it's Monday and now I'm not gonna graduate?"
Ronnie Anne: "What? Carlota, you just have to join a sport. Easy peasy."
Carlota: "You don't understand, Ronnie Anne. Sports are really not my thing."
Ronnie Anne: "Not yet. Maybe you just haven't found the right one. I can help with that."
Carl: "Pfft. Good luck. Wouldn't want her on my team."
[Just then, Becky walks up]
Becky: "Cool backpack, Carl. What does this cord do?"
[Pulls it]
Carl: "No! Stop! ¡Déjalo!"
[A pogo stick emerges from the bottom of the backpack, sending Carl bouncing into and off the ceiling over and over right down the hall]
Carlota: "I'll try any sport except whatever that was."


[Later, Ronnie Anne stops a soccerball]
Ronnie Anne: Maybe soccer's your thing." [They are on the field, Carlota wearing a rather baggy purple uniform] "Abuelo watches the Gatos on TV all the time. I bet you've already picked up a tip or two from their star player, Picosito."
[Shows Carlota an image of Picosito kicking the ball]
Carlota: "Si, Picosito does make it look pretty easy. Let's kick the ball into that… net, thingy."
Ronnie Anne: "Uh… it's called a goal."
Mia: [Runs up, excited] "Awesome, Carlota. Ah, I can't wait to be on a team together. We can get matching mani-pedis on game day."
Carlota: [Also excited about that, squeals] "That is a big plus amiga. Let's sports ball!" [Later, Carlota puts the ball on the ground and looks at the goal. She lifts her leg behind her, then puts it down, picks up the ball with her hands and throws it in. She drops to her knees thinking she won] "Goal!"
[Mia and Ronnie Anne - both of whom actually know the rules of soccer - slap their faces. Later, Carlota tries to kick, but the ball bounces off the goalpost and hits her. Carlota tries to run up and kick the ball, only for her shoe the fly off with it and for her to end up on her back. The ball and shoe go flying. Meanwhile, Laird is having tea on the field and sees the projectiles heading his way. He ducks under the ball and manages to catch his saucer, the cup, and the tea]
Laird: "Phew."
[Suddenly Carlota's shoe hits him in the face, sending him flying. Meanwhile, the shoe lands upright, as does the saucer and cup, and the tea lands right in the cup again. Ronnie Anne and Mia run up to Carlota]
Carlota: "It's safe to say, I'm no Picosito."
Mia: "Pssh, who is? We can still do the mani-pedis, but skip the part where you join the team. Kay?
Carlota: [Okay with this] "Fair enough, moving on."


[Later, the two girls are at a pole vaulting crossbar]
Ronnie Anne: "This sport's a little outside the box. But it'll probably get you extra credit 'cause it's Coach K's favourite."
Carlota: [Enthused] "Ooh, good. Pero, um, what is it?"
Mrs. Kernicky: [Offscreen] "Pole vaulting." [At the beginning of the track, Mrs. Kernicky gets her pole ready and charges, she vaults right over the bar and lands on the mat] "Woo hoo."
Carlota: [Shocked] "You want me to do that?" [Ronnie Anne nods and Carlota sighs] "Está bien, I guess that PE credit isn't gonna earn itself." [Goes to the start of the track. Carlota holds up the very wobbly pole, she charges and tries to vault, but ends up clinging to the pole for dear life, which has stopped perfectly vertically. Carlota opens her eyes and notices her situation] "I'm no expert, Ronnie Anne, but I don't think I'm doing this right!" [Suddenly the pole leans backwards, then snaps back and flings Carlota forward. Laird, who is still having tea, sees her and tries to run, but Carlota crashes right on top of him] "Moving on."


[Later, Carlota is wearing a fencing get up and holding a foil]
Ronnie Anne: "You're a classy girl so… I bet fencing is more your speed."
Carlota: [Gasps] "It is fancy. PE credit, here I come."
[Mrs. Kernicky blows her whistle and the fencing students, including Becky, start practicing. Carlota looks at her helmet and puts it on, but she puts it on backwards. She picks up the foil] "Wait, Am I supposed to be able to see out of this thing?"
[She starts swinging the foil wildly and accidentally slices the netting of the dodgeball cart sending dodgeballs rolling, knocking over all the other students, except Becky]
Girl #1: "Who gave her a sword?"
[Carlota is still swinging blind. Becky ducks under Carlota's sword, or at least most of Becky does. Carlota sliced Becky's ponytail right off. The other students are horrified. Carlota sticks her sword in the floor and turns her helmet the right way around, just in time to see Becky pick up the clump of her hair and growl]
Becky: [Sword ready] "En garde! And by that, I mean I'm coming for you, Carlota!"
[Charges and Carlota panics. Carlota tries to pull her sword out of the floor but it's stuck]
Carlota: '"Vamos! Vamos! Oh, come on."
[Manages to get the foil, taking a piece of the floor with it, which sends Becky flying back, Becky lands on her feet and is even angrier now]
Becky: "Oh, it's so on."
[Becky charges again and jumps on the floor, breaking off a huge chunk that sends Carlota flying right into the girders]
Carlota: "So fencing's not my sport. Moving on!"
[The girders break, causing Carlota to plummet right onto Laird, who is having his tea on the gym floor for some reason]


[Later, the two primas are walking in the park, Carlota wearing a much cuter outfit]
Carlota: "I know what you're thinking… I'll never get that PE credit or graduate. My life is basically ruined!"
Ronnie Anne: "Actually, I was thinking we just need a break." [Pats her stomach] "And a hot dog. But, looks like Bruno's on break, too."
[At the moment, Bruno and Vito are playing basketball. Bruno takes a shot which bounces off the rim, the backboard, and bounces up to Carlota.]
Carlota: [Picks up the ball and effortlessly dribbles it between both hands] "I got it for ya!"
[Throws the ball, nothing but net. Bruno and Vito are amazed]
Vito: "Woah, Carlota, how'd you do that?"
[The ball bounces back to Carlota]
Carlota: [Dribbles it again, not even realizing] Do what?"
Ronnie Anne: "Get so good at basketball."
Carlota: [Rolls the ball over her shoulders] "Am I? I've never done it before."
[Takes a hook shot, which rolls on the rim and goes into the basket. Bruno and Vito's jaws drop]
Ronnie Anne: "Well, you're kinda doing it now."
Vito: "Eh, beginner's luck. Let's see how you do with a little defence."
[Passes her the ball and the three take to the court]
Ronnie Anne: [Takes her phone out] "I've gotta record this."
[Ronnie Anne starts filming. Carlota dribbles the ball and charges right through the defence like a bowling ball, she runs to the basket and does a reverse dunk. Ronnie Anne can't believe it. Vito passes to Bruno who shoots and Carlota jumps right up and smacks it away. Carlota jumps and throws the ball right over Vito's raised hands. She evades Bruno and takes another shot, she gets another basket and just keeps getting more. She dribbles circles around Bruno and Vito, making them dizzy, and gets another slam dunk so big it sends a sound wave blowing Vito's toupee onto Bruno]
Vito: "Oofa-doofa! What happened, Bruno? You were supposed to block her."
Bruno: "You were closer, why didn't you?"
[Meanwhile, Carlota lands with style]
Mia: [Runs up] "Wow, Carlota, cute outfit. And you're a natural."
Carlota: "Really? You think?"
[Spins the ball on her finger]
Ronnie Anne: "I think you found your sport, Carlota."
Carlota: "Yes! I'm finally gonna get that PE credit."
Vito: "Best two out of three."
[Jumps for the ball, but Carlota simply moves the ball and Vito crashes offscreen]


[The next day, The Chavez Academy girl's basketball team is getting warmed up]
Mrs. Kernicky: [To Ronnie Anne] "Are you sure about this, Ronnie Anne?"
Ronnie Anne: "Trust me, I've seen it with my own eyes."
Mia: "Carlota's really good, she's gonna help us win this game."
Mrs. Kernicky: "I'm not sure she-" [Ronnie Anne shows her the video of Carlota's slam dunk] "Holy cow! She's good. Carlota! This game's your official tryout for the team. So help us kick some butt."
[Carlota steps up, her socks dropping. Carlota sniffs her really baggy, and really green uniform and retches. She's really unsure about it]
Ronnie Anne: "Come on, Carlota, you got this." [Carlota is ready and takes to the court with Mia] "Carlota's going to earn that PE credit and knock your socks off."
[The referee blows his whistle. Carlota is ready when suddenly her pants fall down, she picks them up quickly and is suddenly thrown the ball]
Mia: "I'm open! I'm open!"
[Carlota heaves the ball in Mia's general direction, but she hits the mascot, knocking it with out of it's shoes]
Mrs. Kernicky: [Not happy] "Well, someone's socks are knocked off, but they aren't mine."
[Carlota manages to steal the ball from the girl she's blocking, she ducks as the girl tries to grab her and runs, but she's forgetting to do something rather important]
Referee: [Blows his whistle] "Travelling!"
Carlota: "Huh? Where are we going?" [Mrs. Kernicky glares at Ronnie Anne, who loosens her collar. Carlota dribbles up the court, evading all the defenders and makes the basket] "A-ha! Take that!" [Notices the other team cheering and her team glaring] "That was the wrong basket, wasn't it?"
[The visiting team now has thirty-six points against Chavez Academy's twenty-three. Half time and Carlota's teammates all groan and the referee blows his whistle]
Referee: "Halftime!"
Mrs. Kernicky: [Mad at Ronnie Anne] "I thought you said she would help us win, not the other team."
Ronnie Anne: [Takes her phone out again] "You saw the video, Carlota crushed it yesterday."
Mrs. Kernicky: "Well, now she's crushing our chances of winning. I don't think we can keep her on the team."
Carlota: [Devastated] "Paro, I knew it. Yesterday was just a fluke and now I can kiss that PE credit goodbye."
[Runs away]
Ronnie Anne: "Carlota, hold on." [To Mrs. Kernicky] "Give her another chance, I can fix this."
[Goes after her prima]


[Ronnie Anne finds Carlota sulking in the locker room]
Ronnie Anne: "You can't just give up. I know something's off with you today, but we just have to figure out what it is." [Looks at the video] "Hmm, let's see. Games the same. The ball is the same."
Carlota: "Maybe it's because I was playing two guys who eat hotdogs all day."
Ronnie Anne: "True, but that doesn't explain your insane moves."
Video Mia: "Wow, Carlota, cute outfit. And you're a natural."
Carlota: "It was a really cute outfit."
Ronnie Anne: [Suddenly realizes and gasps at the ugly outfit Carlota's wearing right now] "Carlota, that outfit."
Carlota: "I know! Right?! Puke green's so not my colour."
Ronnie Anne: "No, no, no. I mean it's the outfit that's different. When you're wearing something you're comfortable in you're way more confident and that helps you play better. That's what's been wrong with every sport."
Carlota: [Stretches out the short's waistband] "Yeah! Why are sports uniforms so itchy? This one clings to all the wrong places." [Gasps] "It is the ugly outfit's fault. I can fix an ugly outfit." [Stretches out the waistband again] "Seriously clingy."


[Later, Carlota returns to the court with a ball and a much cuter pink outfit and she is feeling much better. She approaches Mrs. Kernicky]
Mrs. Kernicky: "Carlota, I can't let you wear that new uniform." [Takes out the rule book] "Everyone on the team has to match. That's the rules."
Mia: [Offscreen] "Way ahead of you, coach." [She and the other players all have uniforms matching Carlota] "We'd rather match Carlota."
[The other girls agree]
Carlota: "Please, Coach K, let us use the new uniforms. I know you wouldn't think it, but when you look and feel good, you play better."
Mrs. Kernicky: "Well, if it'll stop us from stinking and somehow create a miracle comeback, sure. Wear whatever you want."
[The girls all cheer. The referee blows his whistle and tosses the ball straight up. Carlota wins the jump ball passing it to Mia, who takes the shot and sinks it]
Ronnie Anne: "Nice pass, Carlota."
[Carlota dribbles and is suddenly surrounded by two defenders, she jumps straight up, the defenders crashing into each other, and takes the shot, she also sinks it. The score is getting closer. Carlota takes shots left and right and gets it every time. Carlota dribbles rapidly between hands in front of a defender, making the defender dizzy and giving Carlota the chance to do another reverse dunk. Carlota soon gets the ball again and sees there are only ten seconds left and counting, them down by only a single point. Carlota charges with the ball evading the defenders like they're not even there. She soon has the whole opposing team chasing her, she jumps before they can get her. Three seconds left, and everyone watches Carlota. One second left]
Carlota: "Ball, meet net!"
[Makes another slam dunk sending another shockwave and winning Chavez the game. Everyone cheers and Mia runs to Carlota. Carlota lands with style]
Mia: [High fives Carlota] "That was awesome!"
[The rest of the team runs up to them cheering and they pick Carlota up. Ronnie Anne is also cheering as the team puts Carlota down next to her]
Ronnie Anne: "You really were awesome, Carlota!"
Carlota: [Arms extended] "Thanks to you, prima." [They hug] "You did the impossible and helped me find a sport. And I didn't even have to sacrifice my style."
Mrs. Kernicky: "That PE credit is officially yours. Welcome to the team, Carlota."
Carlota: [Squeals] "I'm so happy!" [Takes something out] "I've already started on the designs for the team's away uniform." [Just then, the team excitedly runs up to their star player with the water cooler] "Ah, ah!" [They stop. Firmly] "Never drench designer threads." [The girls sheepishly smile and toss the cooler away, right onto Laird who spits out the water and shivers] "Don't worry, Laird, I made you a new uniform too."
[Takes out a very pink and puffy shirt and puts it on Laird]
Laird: [Thrilled] "I can't get hurt anymore!"
[Just then, Vito and Bruno arrive]
Vito: "We're here for a rematch."
Bruno: "Best three out of five."
[Vito shoots the ball, but it just bounces straight off the rim and knocks Laird out of his socks. Laird crashes offscreen]
Laird: "I spoke too soon."

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