The following is a transcript for the episode "Lori Days."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[It's dinnertime at the Loud house. Lana eats her dinner and is unsure about it] Lana: "Dad, these green beans taste weird." Lynn Sr: "Well, that's because I washed them, sweetie." Lana:[Still thinking it's weird] "Okay, interesting choice." [Takes out a shaker, the label reading 'DIRT', puts it on her dinner, and enjoys it. Spitting while she talks] "Dash of dirt, anyone?" [It turns out most of Lana's dinner got spat on Lisa. She wipes her glasses, putting the dirt on Lola.] Lisa: "Sheesh. It baffles me that we share the same genetic material." Lana: "Right back at you, sis. We all saw the results of your latest failed experiment. Where's that thing supposed to live?" Rita: "I don't even want to know." Lori: "I do!" [Lori is eating dinner at Fairway while on video chat with her family] "Tell me what happened, Lisa." [Eats her Chinese food] Luna: "Never mind, Lori. You had to be there." Lori:[Kind of disappointed] "But I am there. Just not in person. The whole point of these video chat dinners is so that I don't miss any…" [She starts glitching and the screen on the Loud's end freezes] Leni: "What, Lori?" [Keeps eating] "What?" [The phone is still frozen] "Lori, what?" Lori:[Realizing] "Hello? Hello? Talk to me. Talk to me. I need to know what happened!" [Yells in frustration. Meanwhile, Lori's roommate was practicing her putt, but Lori makes her throw her club out the window, setting off someone's car alarm] Marisa: "You okay, Lori?" Lori:[Looks at Marisa] "No! Ever since I started college I feel like I'm missing out on everything with my siblings." [She hears her family all laughing and looks back at the screen. Leni is covered in gravy. Then she loses her connection again] "Wait, why are they all laughing? And why is Leni covered in gravy? I have to know!" Marisa: "You know what Coach Niblick says. 'You can't read the green, unless you're on the green'." Lori:[Laughs] "Yeah, classic Niblick. Wait, what does it have to do with my problem?" Marisa: "What I mean is… Go home and spend time with your family, Lori. It's the weekend." Lori:[Gasps] "You're right. That's literally a great idea." Golf Cart Girl:[Outside the window] "Hey! Who did this to my brand new golf cart?!" [Lori and Marisa know who] Lori:[Whispers] "I'll turn out the lights." Marisa:[Also whispers] "I'll lock the door." [Marisa shuffles to the door. Lori turns off the lamp and sinks out of the window's view]
[The next morning, Lori's car, Eliza, pulls up in front of the house and Lori excitedly runs to the door] Lori:[Enters the house, excited] "I'm back!" [The only one here to greet Lori is Cliff, who just coughs up a hairball] "Huh, was kind of hoping for a bigger reaction." [Suddenly, Lynn runs right past her] Lynn:[Not even noticing Lori] "Can't catch me, chumps." [Lana is chasing her with a soccer ball, as is Lola, riding Charles] Lori: "Wait! Is this a new game? Somebody explain it to me." [Lincoln runs by and actually notices Lori] Lincoln:[Casually] "Ooh. Hey Lori. When did you get here?" Lynn Sr.:[Upstairs; having overheard Lincoln] "Lori?! Did someone say Lori?!" [Over the moon, Lynn Sr. hurries down the stairs and trips. He bounces down on his rear and lands with a bellyflop on Cliff's hairball. He gets up and hugs his eldest] "I can't believe it! My little Lori-Lou! And she's not on a screen! Oh!" [Hugs her tightly] Lori:[More satisfied] "Now that's the reaction I was looking for. Thank you, Dad." Rita:[Also happy to see Lori] "What are you doing home, sweetie?" Lori: "I just came back to get in a little in-person family time." [Rubs her brother's head] "So, what are we gonna do today?" [Lincoln cringes, followed by Lori's five oldest sisters. Luan sheepishly chuckles] Lynn: "Uh..." Lori: "What? Is this another inside joke that I'm not a part of?" Leni: "No, we're all totes excited that you're here. It's just that…" Lynn: "Game day." Lincoln: "Video game tournament." Lucy: "Funeral." Luan: "Sorry, Lori, we didn't know you were coming home. All of us already have plans. And we don't wanna be..." [Whispers to the others] "Someone hand me two books." [Someone does] "...double-booked." Lori: "[A little disappointed] "No, no, no, that's totally fine. I can tag along. It'll be like I never left." Lily: "Hello." [Offers a handshake, not even recognizing her eldest sister] "I'm Lily." [Lori sighs]
[Sometime later, a man is being cornered in an old wooden room] Disemboweler: "They say you don't need your appendix." [It's revealed that this is a movie Luna and Sam are watching] "But I do!" [The Disemboweler is about to strike. Luna and Sam are each holding the other's hand and shaking. Suddenly, Lori pops up between them, which almost gives them both a heart attack] Lori: "So, how's school going, Luna?" [Winks at Sam] "Any drama? What's new with the band?" Luna: "Dude, we're trying to watch the movie. Can we do this later?" Lori:[Realizes] "Oh, right. Sorry. Just trying to catch up. I'll go visit Luan." [Lori ducks away and Luna and Sam get a little closer, and get scared by the movie again. Then Lori pops up again] "Mind if I take a little popcorn for the road?" [Sam offers it to her] "Thanks." [Ducks away again, and pops up again] "Actually…" Luna: "Dude!" Lori: "Sorry, sorry. I'm usually not a milk chocolate girl, but those just look so good." [Someone throws chocolate-covered raisins in Lori's face] "Thank you." [Lori leaves]
[Back at the Loud house, Lori sees someone] Lori: "Hey, guys." [Luan and Benny are doing mime practice and see Lori] "Love the outfits." [Luan happily walks up to Lori, but walks right into an invisible wall. Lori cringes. Luan gets up and shakes it off, but sees no way out of her invisible box] "Ah, mime practice. Well, that's okay, guess I'll just talk to…" [Notices Luan and Benny zip their mouths shut] "Or, see you later. I guess."
[In the bathroom, Lucy is doing a funeral for the Fox quintuplets goldfish] Lucy: "For the two days he was on this earth, Stewart was a beloved goldfish. He will be missed." [Pam starts to cry, Lana, and Pam's brothers hold their heads down as Boris plays his keyboard. Lori interrupts] Lori: "How many funerals have you done this year, Luce? By the way, love the new veil." [The Fox quints all shush her] "We'll catch up later. My deepest sympathies." [Leaves] Lucy: "Please, do the honor of the final flush." [The quint in white flushes. Everyone lowers their head, when the toilet overflows] "Oh no, not again. Somebody quick, hand me the plunger." [Pam cries even harder]
[Later, in the living room, Lana and Lincoln are playing Total Trash Takedown] Lana: "Nice work with the sewage canon. But save your power-ups, team, we need them for later." Lori: "Hey, guys, you busy?" [They can't see or hear Lori, with their headphones] Lana: "Down! Now!" [Lori thinks Lana's talking to her and crouches] "All the way down!" [Lori sits on the floor] Lori: "Right. So, how's school?" Lincoln: "Slower!" Lori:[Talks slower] "How is school?" [Lincoln and Lana's characters get buried in garbage] Lana: "Ah! The worst!" Lori: "Yeah, been there. You wanna talk about it?" Lincoln:[Still playing the game] "Look out for that giant rat!" Lori:[Gets up] "What?! Rat?! Where?!" [Lori panics and runs. Meanwhile, Lana and Lincoln lose] Lana: "No! Ugh, I can't believe we lost in the second round. We should have just blown off the tournament and hung out with Lori." Lincoln: "Yeah, I wonder where she is, I haven't seen her all day." [Lana shrugs, having no idea where Lori is either]
[Later, at the Royal Woods Hotel and Spa, Lola is getting a massage] Lola:[Sighs] "Thanks, Edna. Your magic fingers never disappoint. Second grade is so stressful." [Lori appears under Lola's table] Lori: "What's so stressful about it? Tell me everything." Edna: "Ma'am, no talking in the zen den." Lori:[Scoots out from under Lola] "I'm just trying to spend time with my sister." [Returns to Lola] "Anyway, so what were you saying?" [Edna sets off the wind chimes] "You know for a masseuse, she's pretty uptight." [Just then, a very big security lady grabs Lori and snorts at her. The security guard escorts Lori out, Lori shaking her fist] "You know, this doesn't feel very zen!"
[Later, Lynn is kicking a soccer ball and passes it. Lori comes out onto the field] Lori: "Hey, Lynn. Great game." Lynn: "It's still going! Get back in the bleachers!" [The ball rolls up to them, followed by heavy vibrations. Lori looks and the entire team tramples her] Lori:[Dazed] "Maybe we can catch up at dinner."
[Back at the house, Lori is in the bathroom, talking to Marisa on video chat] Lori:[Sighs] "So far this weekend has been a total bust. I'm back home, but I feel more distant than ever." Marisa: "Well you know what Coach Niblick says. ‘When you're in the rough, adjust your swing.'" Lori: "Look, I'm thrilled you're getting your money's worth out of that Niblick quote a day calendar, but can you just tell me what you mean?" Marisa:[Sighs] "Why don't you see if your siblings are free tomorrow. Then you can all hang out together." Lori: "Yes, great idea." [Lori takes off]
THE NEXT DAY [The Loud siblings are loaded up in Vanzilla] Lori: "I literally have so many fun things planned for our big day together." [Her siblings all cheer, except Lola, who cringes at her schedule] Lola: "Little scheduling conflict, I do have a caviar facial later." [Sees her siblings glaring at her] "Which I can definitely move." Lori:[Backs out of the driveway] "First up, minigolf." [They drive off]
[At Hole in One-derland, Lori is giving Lola putting advice] Lori: "You can see the greens break slightly to the left of the dinosaur's tail." [Lola prepares to take her shot, holding the putter like a baseball bat] "Uh, Lola, that's not how you hold the club to putt." [Meanwhile, the three teens behind them are getting impatient] Male Teen: "Ugh! It's not that hard! Just hit the little ball into the big dinosaur." [Lynn doesn't like the guy's tone] Lynn:[Gets in his face, mad] "You're gonna be dino-sore when I'm done kicking your butt, buddy!" Luan:[Highfives Lynn and gasps, liking her pun] "Nice one." Lynn: "Look, my sister's a professional golfer, so stop rushing her or you're gonna have to deal with me." [Bends a golf club and ties it in a knot. The teens back away scared, one falls in the pond, followed by the second, and the teen who yelled at Lori gets his shirt caught on the windmill and lands on the pond too] Lisa:[Sighs] "That was my club." [The course worker glares angrily at Lynn] Luan:[Comes out of a bush] "Oh, let me guess, you want us to get our putts out of here." [Luan laughs, and the worker glares at her next and she ducks back into the bush. Later, everyone leaves, Lori dragging the club-bender and the pun-cracker] Lori: "I think that's enough puns for today."
[Next, they are at Dairyland Amoosement Park, riding the Fondue Falls] Lori: "Nothing like Dairyland for some guaranteed fun." [All the siblings are crammed into one car] Lisa: "The signage for Fondue Falls clearly states no more than three passengers per cheese log." Lori: "Yeah, but today is about us being together. And those signs are just a suggestion." [The ride up the hill, the very tall hill, and go down the other side really fast, creating a tsunami of fondue when they land, covering everything and everybody. Including a park worker and Tippy the Cow, who usher for them to get out, fondue falling off Tippy's arm] Luan: "Ah, I think they want us to asia-go." [Laughs as Lori glares] "Oh, sorry, Lori, I couldn't resist."
[Later that evening, Vanzilla pulls up to, just below, the top of the hill at Tall Timbers Park. The siblings all have takeout bags] Lori: "This will be perfect, we can catch up with each other, have a little Burpin' Burger, soak up the sun..." [Gestures to the sunset, which gets replaced with big, grey, storm clouds. Devastated] "Seriously?!" Lana: "Oh well. Gimme them chicken tendies." Lola: "Back off! They're mine!" Lana: "How dare you!" [Lana and Lola start fighting] Lynn: "If anyone touches my meatball shake, it's over!" Leni: "If anyone touches my salad, it's over!" Luna: "Who orders a salad at Burpin' Burger?" [They start squabbling over Leni's bag, which rips launching salad all over Lisa and Lucy. Lucy throws the tomato off her hair, Leni and Luna duck under it, and it hits Lincoln in the back of his head. Lincoln likes where this is going, but Lori doesn't] Lori: "No, no, no, no, no! Not a…" Lincoln: "FOOD FIGHT!" [Everyone starts throwing food at each other, with Leni doing a warcry.] Lori: "Hey, come on, guys!" [An empty drink cup hits the gear stick, moving it from PARK to NEUTRAL. No one notices, including Lori] "Today was supposed to bring us closer, but instead…" Lucy: "We're going backwards." Lori: "Yes, that's exactly how I feel." Lucy:[Meaning the van's movement] "No, you're actually going backwards." [Lori notices. Everyone screams as the van rolls backwards down the hill. In the pond, a family of ducks hears the commotion and looks, thy flee as Vanzilla crashes into the pond] Lori: "Hang on, I'll get us out of here." [Lori shifts the gear stick into DRIVE and tries to roll out of the mud, but the back tires just continue spinning and won't move.] Leni: "What do we do now?" Lori: "You guys push, I'll steer." [Outside, the siblings start pushing, except for the twins. Lana lets Hops enjoy the mud, and Lola is just grossed out] Lola: "I'm walking in mud. There is nothing more disgusting!" Luna: "Come on, everyone, PUSH!" [They push, and the tires start spinning again, splattering mud all over Lola] Lola: "I stand corrected." Lana: "Awe, lucky." Lola: "You want it? You-- got it!" [--Splatters mud in Lana's face] Lincoln:[Gasps] "MUD FIGHT!" [The siblings all enjoy another fight, with Leni doing another warcry. Lori gets out of Vanzilla, getting annoyed] Lori: "You guys! Cut it out!" [Lori dodges another mudpie, but slips and falls in the deep mud. She starts to tear up. The siblings are still fighting, but then notice Lori crying, they go over to her] Leni: "It's okay, Lori. We'll get Vanzilla out of the pond." Lori:[Upset] "No, it's not that, Leni. This whole weekend was a bust. I came home to reconnect with you guys and nothing went right. You were all off doing your own thing and then, when we did spend time together it was a disaster." [Gets up; still upset] "I feel like I'm not even a part of this family anymore." Lynn:[Aghast] "What?! That's nuts." Lisa: "Today was not a disaster. In fact, I would call it a normal Loud family Sunday." Luna: "Yeah, dude. What's more Loud than getting kicked out of places? Luan: "Or rolling Vanzilla into a pond?" [Lori laughs, and wipes away the tears] Lincoln: "And even though you're not with us every day, you're always gonna be part of this family." [Lucy places her hand on Lincoln's shoulder, startling him] Lucy: "Even in the afterlife." [Lincoln nervously chuckles at Lucy's comment] Lori:[Sighs] "Thanks you guys, I really needed to hear that." Leni: "Group hug." Lori: "No! No, I'm already dirty enough." [Her siblings don't care about that and hug her anyway, until they all fall in the mud. Then they all start laughing. Lori throws mud at Leni and they all continue their fight]
[At the next dinner, Lori is back on the screen] Lynn Sr.: "Kay. Who wants ice cream for dessert?" [Looks at it] "Oh, I guess it's a little melty. Sorry about the soggy vanilla." Luan: "It's better than the soggy Vanzilla." [Everyone laughs, except the parents, who don't know what that means] Rita:[Tries to laugh, but doesn't get it] "Wait, wait, wait, I don't get it. What does that mean?" Lori: "Sorry, Mom, you just had to be there." [The entire family laughs] Lynn Sr.: "I have no idea why we're laughing!" [They continue laughing anyway] "Seriously, why are we laughing?"
