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[The special begins. The camera is recording.] Lincoln: "Good morning Royal Woods Middle School!" Clyde: "How's it hopping, Kangaroos!" Lincoln: "Today, we have an exciting action news special planned for you that you definitely won't want to miss." Clyde: "We'll be looking at highlights from the sporting career of our eighth grade classes, very own MVP, Lynn Loud!" Lincoln: "But first, here at today's top stories. Clyde?" [Shows an image of Chef Pat and Stella cooking] Clyde: "A large chili spill has closed down the Southeast hallway, causing major backups throughout the school, I would advice taking the main hallway by the photo lab to avoid the traffic, Lincoln?" [Shows an image of Mr. Bolhofner] Lincoln: "This week, Mr. Bolhofner is celebrating his 10th anniversary at Royal Woods Middle School. When asked for a comment, he said, and I quote: 'Go away! Can't you see I'm trying to eat my microwaved trout?'" Clyde: "Truly an inspiration to to us all." Lincoln: "Indeed, and now for our Action News Team special." [An newscaster music is playing, then an slideshow Lynn's images and footage show up] Lincoln: "From an early age, Lynn Loud Jr. was an champion, her life has been centered around sports. She could skate long before she could walk and sing her favorite team's cheers before she could even talk. Her love of Sports is rivaled only by her love of meatball subs. Of her countless accomplishments, she's probably proudest of being the youngest athlete with a FLIBBR." Clyde: "Gesundheit." Lincoln: "Thanks Clyde, but a FLIBBR is actually a championship win in Football, Lacrosse, Ice Hockey, Baseball, Basketball, and Roller Derby." Clyde: "Right, I knew that." Lincoln: "And so today, we celebrating Lynn Loud as a teammate, a coach, a competitor, and a superstitious star." Clyde:[sobs] "I know we rehearsed that, but it gets me every time." Lincoln: "Thanks buddy, Want to kick off the show with a clip?" Clyde: "You know it, Lynn asked me to make sure I showed a classic LJ GOAT moment, So here is the best one I could find." [Cut to a clip from "Cow Pie Kid": Lynn hears a goat baaing] Goat Wrangler Kid: "Billygoats! Billygoats!" [The goat bleats again, but Lynn hallucinates it speaking.] Goat: "Baaaaad pitcher!" [echoes] "Baaaaad pitcher!" [Lynn can't take the goat's alleged taunts anymore and throws the ball at the goat, hitting it. Then it cuts to Lincoln and Clyde.] Lincoln: "Uh, Clyde, I think she meant GOAT as in 'Greatest Of All Time'." Clyde: "Ah." [Clyde chuckles a bit] "Well in that case, I need to make a quick call to Liam's farm, and cancel Carol Anne's surprise appearance, Carol Anne the goat, as in goat, not as in the GOAT." Lincoln:[Lincoln laughs] "Well, it certainly takes a team to run that farm, just like it takes a team to win a championship game, Speaking of, Here are some of the best moments of Lynn as a teammate." [Cut to a clip from "Hero Today, Gone Tomorrow", the teams take the field, Paula takes the throw in to Margo, and nearly falls doing so, Margo gets the ball and gets it to Lynn, but four of the Beaverton Bees surround her.] Lynn: "Quadruple teamed?! Are you kidding?" [Seeing that there's not much time left, kicks the ball straight up.] "Take the shot, Margo!" [Margo runs to where the ball is going to land, steadies the ball, and executes a perfect bicycle kick, which makes it past the goalie and wins Royal Woods the game. The crowd goes wild cheering for Margo.] Margo: "I...I can't believe it." Lynn:[Shakes her] "That was incredible!" [The whole team, except Lynn and Paula, pick Margo up and carry her off.] Everyone (except Paula): "Margo! Margo! Margo!" [Then it cuts to an clip from "Net Gains", Maya is dribbling up the court, passes it to Lynn, who then passes it to Amy, who takes a shot, but it's intercepted by a Brie Thrower.] Lynn:[Clapping] "Nice try Amy. You almost had it." Announcer: "Diane dribbles up court, [Diane passes to Maya] "passes to Maya, who takes a shot," [the ball rolls along the rim] "Ooh, it's rolling around..." [Paula, using her crutch, tips it in.] "Ooh, Paula taps it in from below!" Lynn:[Clapping] "Ah, crutch play, Paula." Announcer: "Diane and Amy run the ball up court." Lynn: "Amy! I'm open! I'm open!" [Diane throws Lynn the ball.] Announcer: "She passes to Lynn, Lynn Loud with the ball, alley-oop!" [Lynn makes the alley-oop.] "The Jerkies are really hustling out there, but will it be enough Pep? Will it be enough?" Pep: "Ooh, don't spoil it for me." Announcer: "Lynn's got the ball." Lynn: "Maya, catch!" [Lynn passes to Maya.] Announcer: "Maya's got it," [Maya yawns] "Oop, getting sleepy there," [Maya takes another nap, using the ball as a pillow.] "Making herself comfortable." Lynn: "Maya! Wake up! Clock's running out!" [Maya snorts and wakes with a start.] Announcer: "Maya wakes up. Maya's on the move, but the Brie Throwers are on her. And with time running out the Jerkies gotta make a move." [Maya takes a shot. It bounces off the rim, but goes in, as the buzzer goes off. The Turkey Jerkies go wild, Then it cuts to a clip from "Singled Out".] Roller Derby Announcer: "And the Royal Woods Roller Queens have done it again!" [Lynn and her roller derby team stop skating and cheer for themselves.] Girls: "We crushed it again!" "Yes!" Lynn:[Howls, takes her skate off, and smells.] "Mmm... The sweet smell of victory." Margo: "Yeah, great win guys. Should we go celebrate at the Burpin' Burger?" [Then it cuts to an clip from "Friday Night Fights"] Lynn: "Blue-22! Blue-22! Hut-hut!" [is passed the ball] [Lynn goes long and Margo catches. Then it's with Maddie, who is unstoppable as she touches down for the Roosters, winning the game.] Announcer: "ROYAL WOODS WINS! ROYAL WOODS WINS!!!" [Lynn and Lisa are ecstatic; they have finally won a match. This brief celebration is stopped by Margo, Maddie and Paula dousing them with a barrel of sports drink as the Louds, joined by Lori, watch nearby.] Lisa: "I would have preferred a victory pat to my posterior." [Then it cuts to Lincoln and Clyde.]Clyde: "Wow, What a goal, or basket? What a hoop? Sorry, antiquing with my dads is the closest I got to organized sports, Also, where did we get all this great footage?" Lincoln: "All of today's footage has been provided by Lisa Loud, She has cameras everywhere, but she promised me they're not always recording." [Then it cuts to an clip from "Tough Cookies".] Clyde: "How many more orders do we have to make for tomorrow?" Lincoln:[Checks] "10 orders for a total of 15 dozen cookies, which will take, um..." [His phone rings. He picks it up.] "Lisa?" Lisa: "60 hours or 2.5 days. And that's with no potty breaks." Lincoln: "You were listening? How? I'm at Clyde's house. [Angrily] Your surveillance measures have gone too far." Lisa:[On the couch, next to Lincoln's walkie talkie.] "I heard it through your walkie talkie, you boob." Lincoln: "Huh?" [Lincoln looks at his foot and discovers that he's standing on the other walkie talkie.] "Oh! Well... Thank you." Lisa: "You're welcome. Here's another tip. Hire employees. If two nincompoops can make a dozen cookies in four hours, think how many cookies six or seven nincompoops could make in that time." Lincoln:[Offended] "Hey!" Lisa: "One last tip. Maybe look for a bigger work space." Clyde: "How do you know the layout of my kitchen?" [In her living room, she is surrounded by monitors of the McBride's house.] Lisa:[Gasps] "Gotta go." [Loses the phone, then it cuts to Lincoln and Clyde] Lincoln: "I believe her.. I think." Clyde: "While we check the newsroom for hidden cameras, Enjoy these great Coach Lynn clips." [Cut to another clip from "Cow Pie Kid", the rooster is screeching] Lynn: "OK. Now just pretend that you're throwing a cow pie, and aim for that egg. That's the magic strike zone." [Liam grins and throws the ball, but it ricochets off the tractor, a tree, the weather vane, and lands in the chicken coop. He winces.] "Your speed is incredible, but your control could use some work." Liam: "Well, baseball's feel mighty different from cow pies." [sniffs his hand] "But they sure do smell better." [Later, Liam tries again, on the mound. He hits a cow, which moos.] Lynn: "More to the left." [Liam moves his position to the left and throws. It hits and breaks something.] "Uh, more to the right." [Liam moves right and grunts as he throws. He hits and smashes something. Lynn groans.] "Don't think so much. Just pitch." [Liam takes a breath, throws, and Virginia catches it. Liam is amazed and Lynn put a ball cap on him] "Welcome to the team, Cow Pie Kid!" Liam: "Whoo-hoo! [Playfully elbows Lynn.] A celebration like this calls for a pig pile! Ha-ha! Woo-hoo!" [Liam jumps into the mud. Virginia and another pig jump on him. Lynn joins in and lands on top of them and laughs.] [Then it cuts to another clip.]" Announcer: The ninth inning and things are not looking good for the Royal Woods Kangaroos. They are down eight to one against the Hazeltucky Hockers!" Lynn: "Quiet, chump! You got this, Margo!?" [Margo spits in her glove and throws the ball. It ricochets across the batting cage and breaks a hole in the Flippee machine] Flip: "Huh?" [The machine sputters and rattles. The Flippees fly out. Three kids in the audience catch the Flippees into their containers with one of them using a baseball cap. Flip notices and grumbles in anger while he points at them.] "Hey, you still gotta pay for that!" [more Flippees spill on him, making him scream and faint. He gets up covered in Flippees and angrily points to one of the baseball players.] "One of you Kangaroos owes me big!" Umpire: "That's ball four!" Lynn: Ugh! Time, time!" [Runs over to Margo] "Alright, you're done. Time to bench it. [Calls to Paula in the distance] Paula, look alive! You're pitching!" [The Kangaroo mascot is currently signing Paula's cast. Paula gets up and uses her crutch and uninjured foot to slowly make it to the mound.] Announcer: "Team captain Lynn Loud is making her fifth pitching change." [Paula attempts to pitch, but slips and the Hocker at bat hits a home run] "That ball is outta here!" Lynn:[Dismayed] "Oh..." [Flip is wheeling the Flippee machine out of the stadium when it gets hit by the baseball. The lids bust open and more Flippees rain all around the parking lot.] Flip:[Angrily] "Aw, come on!" [He bangs his head repeatedly on the machine, Then it cuts to a clip from "Sitting Bull".]
Lynn: "When I blow the whistle, you guys run to the center and whrestle. [Blows the whistle, and the kids walk to the center of the ring, and hug.] "Guys, Lucha Libre is a contact sport. This time, Caleb, you bounce off the ropes and come back at Camille with an angry possum! Like so. [has Caleb bounce off the ropes but he ends up getting tangled on the other side of them.] Caleb: "I'm stuck!" Lynn: "I guess you guys aren't ready for wrestling yet." [Camille sighs in relief] "'Cause first you have to get into shape!" [Later in the McCauley's living room, Lynn brings out some condiments and frozen foods from their fridge.] Lynn: "Your parents have a serious lack of exercise equipment, so we'll have to improvise. Camille, let's do some curls with these kosher dills." Camille:[She tries to do one curl with them, but falls to the floor.] "Ow! I heard something pop." Lynn: "That's totally normal, walk it off." [Camille whimpers as she tries to limp it off] "Kay, Caleb, your turn. Let's see you dead lift this turkey." [Lynn puts the turkey in front of Caleb and he groans, Minutes later, Lynn and the McCauley kids enter the kitchen, Caleb now having his back sore.] Lynn: "Important lesson for you guys: After a good workout, you always want to replenish those proteins." [opens the fridge and pulls out a carton of eggs.] Caleb: "Ooh, eggs. May I have please have scrambled?" Camille: "I like mine hard boiled." Lynn:[imitates the buzzer again] "Cooking takes too long, your body needs that protein now!" [Lynn cracks two eggs each for two cups then gives them to the McCauley kids. Caleb starts to whine.] Camille: "Don't show weakness. It'll just make things worse." [They drink the raw eggs and they try not to throw up after swallowing it but burp instead, Then it cuts to a clip from "The Loudest Yard".] Lynn:[To Lincoln] "You forgot that you've got a secret weapon: me. I'll teach you everything you need to know about Football." Lincoln: "Um..." Lynn: "Good! Now drop and give me 20." [Lincoln gets down on the ground and takes out his wallet and a five dollar bill.] Lincoln: "I've only got a 5." [Lynn realizes it's not gonna be easy. She shows her brother how to step by running through tires which he trips over and gets rolled off by. She shows him how to drink raw eggs for protein. He tries it only to throw up in the toilet. She shows him how to pass by tossing a ball through the center of the tire swing. He misses and gets pegged in the back of the head by the ball. She takes him for a jog around the neighborhood. By sunset, she makes it back and Lincoln took a bus back home much to her disappointment. She shows him how to punt with Lucy as the ball holder. Some Peanuts style music starts to play and Lincoln charges at the ball, but Lucy pulls it away just like in the comic strip.] Lincoln: "ARGH!!!" [lands on his back] [At Ketcham Park, they're practicing receiving.] Lynn: "Hike!" [passes the ball to Lincoln] [Lincoln gets decked in the eye and crashes, then it cuts to Lincoln.] Lincoln: "Lynn's coaching really leaves you with a mark, and sometimes a bruise, and maybe a twisted ankle, Anyway, let's check in with Clyde as he gets ready for our next segment, Clyde, Can you hear me?" [Then it shows footage of Clyde in the hallway.] Clyde: "Loud and clear buddy, I'm on my way to the- Oh no, I forgot about the chili spill!" [The footage is glitching while Clyde groans.] Lincoln: "Clyde, are you okay?" Clyde: "There's chili everywhere!" Lincoln: "While I check on Clyde, Let's take a break, We'll be right back!"
[After the commercial break, the special continues, and cuts to Lincoln and Clyde at Burpin' Burger] Lincoln: "Welcome back, Kangaroos. We now go live at the Burpin' Burger where Clyde McBride is on the scene. Clyde?" Clyde: "After an extensive chili cleanup, testing the limits of my stain removal kit, I'm standing here at the Burpin' Burger, Where they're about to unveil a new menu item, named after Lynn." Lincoln: "What's it called?" Clyde: "The Lynner Lynner Double Burger Dinner, It's an standard Double Belcher with extra pickles, extra onions, and triple diablo sauce, Let's try this bad boy out". *[Clyde eats it] Lincoln: "Wait, did you say Triple Diablo Sauce? That sounds intense." Clyde: "Yeah, you can hardly taste it though, Oh wait, there it is." [Clyde realized it, he is also panting and screaming, the camera is glitching, then it cuts to Lincoln.] Lincoln: "Ooh, that looks like it hurts, well, while Clyde battles that burger, Here's a few highlights of Lynn as a battle ready competitor." Clyde:[Off-screen] "Ow, ow, ow!" [It cuts to a clip from "Lynner Takes All", Lincoln grabs some milk from the fridge and chugs it.] Lynn: "I can chug faster than you!" [chugs the whole thing down, belches in Lincoln's face and smashes the carton on her forehead.] "I win! In ya face, Milk-coln! WOO!" [Leni is heading upstairs, but...] Lynn: "Race you to the top!" [charges upstairs and shoves Leni.] Leni: "Ow!" Lynn:[makes it to the top] "WOO-HOO! I win! Ho ho, you went down hard!" Leni:[stuck to the wall and still trying to walk.] "I thought I was going up." [Lily is building with blocks, and Lynn has built a tower with some of her own.] Lynn:[dancing] "Yes! I win. I stacked more blocks than you." [twerks right on Lily's blocks, making them fall on her.] "Uh-huh! Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh!" [dances away] [Lily comes out of her blocks and blows a raspberry at Lynn in anger. Lisa is mixing chemicals, but so is Lynn who makes hers explode.] Lynn: "BOOM! I win! Made an explosion first." Lisa:[Provoked] "I wasn't trying to make an explosion!" [her chemicals explode anyway] "Dang it." [Lynn and Lucy are washing the dishes.] Lynn: "I can wash faster than you." [starts washing the dishes rapidly.] [Lola is brushing her teeth and Lynn appears.] Lynn: "I can brush faster than you!" [brushes insanely quick with multiple toothbrushes, shows her pearly whites and loses a tooth much to Lola's disturbance.] [Later that night] Lynn: "I CAN GO TO SLEEP THE FASTEST!" [her siblings groan] "I CAN ALSO SNORE THE LOUDEST!" [snores obnoxiously. Her siblings groan again, then it cuts to another clip from "Singled Out".] Lynn: "Alright, time to scout myself a date. Let's see who can keep up with Lynn Loud." [She looks around and notices some boys on the track getting ready to race. She joins them.] "On your mark, get set," [blows an airhorn] "Go!" [She speeds off, but stops when she realizes that the boys are still at the starting position.] "What?" [She brakes to a halt and looks back.] "Huh?" Tween #1: "Forget this, there's no way we can beat her." [He and another boy get up and go, and the third just falls over.] Lynn: "Huh, guess I gotta try something else." [Later, several boys are rubbing their sore arms, and Lynn is arm wrestling with another guy, and yawns while he struggles. She pins him.] Lynn: "Ah, come on man. Were you even trying?" Tween #2: "Ugh, I'm sorry. You're just like, really really strong." Lynn: "Thanks, I never skip arm day." [The guy walks off] "Okay, well. This isn't working, time to change up my strategy." [Then it cuts to a clip from "Undie Pressure", Lynn imagines it as an basketball] Lynn:[images of basketballs appear in her eyes.] "Basket...ball..." Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lisa: "DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!" Lynn:[hits the bundle into the basket.] "TWO POINTS!" [throws the remaining sock bundles in rapid succession.] "TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! TWO POINTS! YAAAAAAY-AH!" [jumps into the air for a victory pose; a red "X" appears over her face, and a buzzer sounds.] Lincoln: "Buh-bye."
[Cuts to a clip from "Health Kicked".] Lynn: "My favorite exercise is rock climbing. It's a great way to get in shape and a total head rush."
[chest bumps her dad who is in pain from the impact.] "Hoo! Let's do this!" [She gets them climbing and rapidly climbs past them as they struggle to get up a few rocks.] "Lynn Loud! Lynn Loud! Lynn Loud! Lynn Loud! Yeah!" [reaches the top] "Come on, guys! Engage your core!" [The parents keep trying to climb but end up falling and screaming and ultimately get tangled up in their cables.] Lynn Sr.:[panting] "Are we in shape yet?" [The kids on the ground shake their heads, Then it cuts to a clip from "On Thin Ice", Lynn gives him a thumbs up, but then looks over to see the other ushers ready waiting, she looks the other way.] Fern:[Eyes red with anger.] "Get her!" [Lynn escapes from the moving resurfacer and runs onto the ice, away from Fern and slipping past several security guards. She slides by the Jellyfish players’ bench, high-fiving the players and past a trio of fans—who each raise a “10” card, one of which is scratched out for an 11. Eventually, Lynn finds herself on the scoreboard.] Announcer: “Check it out, this fan moves like a penguin! Give it up for the Penguin!” [Lynn makes penguin motions to the delight of the crowd. Suddenly, Fern tackles her from behind; the crowd boos, Then it cuts to another clip from "Lynner Takes All".] Lynn: "Oh yeah, baby! I win! Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!" Leni: "I thought we were having salmon." [Lynn plays and wins another game.] Lynn: "YES! I WIN! HA!" [flips the board off the table - scattering the counters and cards everywhere - and leaves.] "Losers clean up!" [End flashback, then it cuts to Lincoln and Clyde] Lincoln: "How are you feeling Clyde?" Clyde: "Once my taste buds healed, much better." Lincoln: "Think you're up for our new segment" Clyde: "Let's do it, It's time for the..." [Then it cuts to the Action News Team Playbook logo.] Lincoln and Clyde:[Off-screen] "Action News Team Playbook!" Lincoln: "Where we break down and analyse great sporting moments, I'm still Lincoln Loud." Clyde: "And i'm still Clyde McBride, roll it." [Then it cuts to a clip from "Space Invader", Lincoln yawns.] Lincoln: "Would you look at the time? Let's just turn in and get this night over with." Lynn: "What do you mean, It's still early and you have a fun new roommate." Lincoln: "Yeah, i-" [Lynn gives and wears a Lucha Libre mask to Lincoln] Lynn: "Lucha Libre!" Lincoln: "I can't see anything!" Clyde:[Off-screen] "Now walk us through what we're seeing here Lincoln. Lincoln: "Well Clyde, To be honest, I couldn't see much of anything in that mask, All I knew was that in that moment, I was in trouble." Lynn: "Lunatic Lynn off the third turnbuckle!" [leaps off the foot of Lincoln's bed] Lincoln: "What? What? I can't hear anything, either!" [Lynn lands on top of Lincoln and starts wrestling him.] Clyde: "Ooh, that one must have hurt." Lincoln: "You have no idea, But look at that form, Now that's a proper flying elbow from the top rope." [Then she continues punching him to the ground and pins him down.] Lincoln: "See, That's a wall suplex into an elbow drop." Clyde: "Now how does the elbow drop feel in comparison to the flying elbow drop?" Lincoln: "Very similar Clyde, very similar." Clyde: "Well, we thank you for your insight, What an athlete, This has been..." [Then it cuts to the Action News Team Playbook logo again.] Lincoln and Clyde:[Off-screen] "The Action News Team Playbook!" Lincoln: "I was lucky to make it out of that match alive, and speaking of luck, Let's turn the spotlight on some of Lynn's wildest sports superstitions." [Cuts to another clip from "On Thin Ice", Flashback of Vanzilla driving down the road, absolutely reeking of jellyfish. The smell is so rancid that a passing butterfly withers from being near it. Inside the van, Lynn has brought bags of jellyfish with her, and is completely immune to the stench. Rita holds her breath while Lisa has her mask.] Lisa: "It reeks of hot jellyfish in here!" Lynn:[grabs a bag of jellyfish] "It's good luck for the team." [Flashback. Lynn is painted golden on her right and red on her left, doing the team dance.] Lynn: "Bring the sting! Bring the sting! Bring the sting!" [The twins are also watching the game, disinterested, and are also painted golden and red; Lynn pokes Lola in the eyes as she dances.] "It's good luck for the team." [Flashback. Lori is texting on a cellphone.] Lynn: "Lori, get up with our mascot and do the Wiggle!" Lori: "Please don't make me do this." [Lynn forces Lori to dance, shoving her out of her seat. Lori proceeds to dance the Wiggle, only to be humiliated in front of the audience, causing her to cover her face out of embarrassment.] Lynn: "It's good luck for the team." [Flashback ends, then it cuts to another clip from "Net Gains, She unties her shoes with one hand each, then reties them in the same manner, she then throws three dirt clots over her left shoulder.] Lynn Sr.:[Waiting in Vanzilla, as Lynn starts running around the front of the van, and jumping aroung the back.] "Uhh, you ready, honey?" Lynn: "Hup, hup, hup. Not yet." [She runs around the front of the van, then starts jumping around the back.] "Hup, hup, hup. Okay, now I'm ready." [Lynn gets in the van, and she and her dad drive off.] Lynn Sr.:[While Lynn is adjusting her seat up and down.] "Wow, honey. I know you always have your superstitious rituals before a tryout, but they seem more... intense than usual today." Lynn: "Can't take any chances. It's for my FLIBBR." Lynn Sr.: "Your what?" [Then it cuts to a clip from "No Such Luck".] Baseball Announcer: "Well, it's a beautiful day at the park. Isn't it, Pep?" Pep:[unenthusiastic] "Oh, sure it is." Baseball Announcer: "It's the bottom of the ninth with the Royal Woods Squirrels up 3-nothing. Could this be another shutout for star pitcher Lynn Loud?" [The crowd cheers for Lynn. Lynn waves to the people and her family and they all root for her. She then starts doing some things to prepare for her pitch. She lifts her leg, turns her cap, tosses some dirt over her shoulder, and pats her right cheek.] Baseball Announcer: "Loud is performing her signature good luck rituals." Lynn:[doing a Cossack dance] "Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut!" Baseball Announcer: "Hey, Pep, you believe there's anything to these kinds of superstitions?" Pep:[not caring] "I don't know." Baseball Announcer: "Well, here's the windup and the pitch." [Lynn winds up and pitches, but the opposing batter slams it out of the park.] Baseball Announcer: "Ooh! Looks like the softball gods did not love that Cossack dance." [Cuts to another clip from "On Thin Ice".] Lynn:[High fives everyone] "What's up, my tentacle troopers? Whoo-hoo-hoo!" [Attempts to high five the security guard, but she doesn't budge. Aggravated.] "How you gonna do me dirty like that on game day, Fern?" [Fern turns her head with a slow crackle, she and Lynn stare each other down, sharply at pushpins.] "They call her Stern Fern. She's the most feared usher in the league. One time, she kicked out the mascot for sneezing too loud." [The mascot nods in agreement.] "Fern takes this hockey stuff way too seriously." [Notices Luan and gasps.] "Luan, no! You can't sit like that, pretzel style only on game days, it's good luck." [Luan sits with her legs crossed.] "You too, Pops, crisscross applesauce." [Lynn Sr. tries to cross his legs but is unable to, so Lynn Jr. does it for him.] Lynn Sr.:[His legs tied in a knot.] "If I'd known, I would have done some pregame stretches." Luan: "Looks like this pretzel's a little salty." [Laughs] Hot Dog Vendor: "Hot dogs, funnel cakes. Get your hot dogs and funnel cakes!" Lincoln: "Ah, the reason I'm here. I..." Lynn: "Stop. You can't order food from him. He's a mush. bad luck. Hey, Vikki!" [Vikki looks] "Let me get two porksters and a couple of doughboys, goofy foot style!" [Vikki nods and gets them ready.] "That's your standard hotdog with powdered sugar, and funnel cake with mustard, it's good luck for the team." [Vikki gets the unusual delicacies prepared and tosses them to Lynn. Lynn Sr., Luan, and Lincoln are less than appetized. Suddenly Lynn knocks Lincoln over.] "Rowdy McQuads is on a breakaway!" [On the ice, Rowdy has the puck and is charging down the rink, he shoots, and the goalie falls backwards from the impact.] "He puts the biscuit in the basket!" [Clutches her brother, who has funnel cake and mustard all over his face.] "See? I told you these were lucky." [Takes some off Lincoln's face and eats it.] "Ah, tastes like luck." [Second period starts] "Okay, second period is starting. Time to change." Lincoln: "Change?" Lynn:[Puts on a bigger hockey jersey.] "Yeah, I have a first-period jersey, a second-period jersey, and a third-period jersey. Now get in." [Puts the jersey on Lincoln, and they share it, then it cuts to Lincoln and Clyde] Lincoln: "Do you have any superstitions Clyde?" Clyde: "I always keep a lucky handkerchief with me whenever I go." Lincoln: "Ooh, can we see it?" Clyde: "Sure, It's right..." [Then he realized that it's gone] "Uh oh, where did it go?" Lincoln: "While we look for Clyde's missing handkerchief, We will be right back." [Then it cuts to an Spunk E. Pigeon's commercial] Announcer:[narrating] "Spunk E. Pigeon's Pizza Palooza Paradise! Starring your favorite video games! Your favorite toppings! And your favorite hits!" Spunk E.:[metallic tone] "♫Ooh, girl, if I could-♫" Animatronic Fish: "♫Ooh, girl♫" Spunk E. and Fish: "♫Give you the world, girl♫" Announcer: "Spunk E. Pigeon's Pizza Palooza Paradise! You'll lose your mind!" [End commercial, then it cuts to Lincoln and Clyde] Lincoln: "Welcome back, Kangaroos, What a broadcast, We found your lucky handkerchief, cleaned a massive traffic stopping chili spill and tried Lynn's new burger all in one show." Clyde: "Never a dull moment for the Action News Team." Lincoln: "Before we say goodbye, there's one last thing we want to show you, No sports special is complete without a few bloopers, so here are some totally wacky ones featuring Lynn and some of my other family members, Enjoy." [Cuts to another clip from "Friday Night Fights", Lynn halts her hustle, and she is creamed by three of the opposing team.] Lynn:[Angrily] "Oh, come on! Who was supposed to be covering my blindside?!" [Two of the players point towards each other, Then it cuts to a clip from "Deal Me Out", Lincoln goes for it.] Lincoln: "Hey, I'm doin' it!" [High fives Clyde on the other side.] "Give it a try, Clyde." Clyde: "Here I go!" [But then, Clyde slips from his skateboard, Lincoln slips from his own as well, and both crashed each other at the back of their heads, making their helmets break, Then it cuts to another clip from "On Thin Ice", Lynn farts, and her family tries to escape the stink.] Lynn: "No, no, no, you gotta stay in it, it's good luck for the team." [Then it cuts to a clip from "Making the Case".] Lynn:[bouncing a Soccer ball off her head] "57...58...59..." [steps on the rake and gets hit] "Ouch!" [The ball bounces off a pole and onto her face, sending her flying onto a trampoline where she bounces off and lands in the soda pool, Then it cuts to a clip from "Snow Bored" Suddenly, snowballs are thrown towards him. Lincoln closes one of his eyes and steers the sled to avoid them, however his sled crashes into a tree. He gets up and holds his sore head until a pile of snow falls onto him, Then it cuts to a clip from "Racing Hearts".] Sam: "All we gotta do is make it across the pond, Luna. Hoist the main sail." Luna:[Not knowing what that means] "Um, yeah, uh, the main sail." Sam:[Confused] "Right by the boom?" [Luna still has no clue.] "That pole." Luna: "Right, the pole." [Luna works on the knot, but she lets the rope go and the sail starts spinning freely, the girls duck the first round, but on the second round Luna finds herself hanging from the boom, and lands on Sam, the sail then starts spinning faster and the whole boat launches them into the pond, then it cuts to a clip from "Driving Ambition", Lori places her ball on the tee, does a hip wiggle and takes her shot, which goes straight up and lands just a few feet away, the team gasps at this.] Coach Hutch:[Gives her another ball] "Take a Mulligan, try again, we'll call that a warm up shot." [Lori takes her shot again, this time it goes straight out, bounces off a tree, and whizzes back at everyone, Lincoln and Coach Hutch duck and the ball flies right through her clipboard, the rest of the team ducks, and the ball hits a man off-screen, making him scream.] Lori: "What is up with my game today?" Coach Hutch: "Ah, don't worry about it, champ. Just keep a cool head." [As the day continues, Lori hits a ball into the lake, Lincoln puts on some big rubber boots and goes to get it, but gets his hand bitten by a turtle and runs away. Later, Lori hits her ball onto a moving golf cart, the driver loses control and crashes into a fire hydrant, which sprays Lincoln away. Later, Lori is stuck in the sand trap, trying to get her ball out, but all she is doing is burying her brother in a pile of sand, who by the way is holding a sign saying "Quiet, Please", Then 8t cuts to a clip from "Hero Today, Gone Tomorrow".] Lynn: "Wait up!" [The ball hits her in the back and she falls to the ground. She catches up to her friend again while having the ball.] "Margo, I know I can be really competitive-" [Another opponent player steals the ball from underneath, having Lynn trip and crash offscreen; becomes angry.] "Can you guys lay off?! I'm trying to apologize here!" [Then it cuts to another clip from "Snow Bored".] Lynn: "Representing Royal Woods in the World Bobsled Finals, it's Lynn and Lisa Loud!! Oh, yeah!!" [starts the sled on the slope.] Lisa: "Woah, woah, woah... Stop!!!" Lynn:[slips and accidentally lets the sled move away.] "Uh-oh." Lisa: "I can't see this ending well." [Lisa goes really fast. It soon approaches a ramp and takes her up in the air. She screams in panic as the bobsled and her helmet fly off. She falls in deep snow. Her siblings gasps, then it cuts to another clip from "Deal Me Out", Clyde suddenly gets a bite on his rod.] Clyde: "Whoa! I think I got something!" Lincoln: "Reel it in! That's our lunch!" [Clyde does so and reels in a large, monstrous fish. The boys shriek in terror as Lincoln swats the fish off the boat.] Clyde: "Get it out!" [The boat topples over as Lincoln and Clyde gasp up to the surface.] Lincoln: "Well, the important thing is, we caught one." Clyde:[Sees the floating sandwiches] "Yeah, and we still have our sandwiches for lunch." [Just as he says that, the fish emerges and eats them, Then it cuts to a clip from "Garage Banned".] Yoga Instructor: "Now, gently rock forward as we go into Crab Pose." [Lori tries to get into the pose as well, but she farts and trips over to her annoyance. Now she's in bed. She sighs bored, then it cuts to Lincoln and Clyde] Clyde: "Well, that about does it, Thanks for watching." Lincoln: "From all of us here at Action News, Have a hoppy day Kangaroos!" [Lincoln and Clyde are laughing]
