The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
Luan: "Hello, listeners." Mr. Coconuts: "Welcome to the Mr. Coconuts Show. Today's special guest… me, me, me!" [He and Luan start wrestling over the mic] Luan: "Mr. Coconuts! Give me back my mic! Hi, listeners. He's just kidding. It's me, Luan Loud, with another Listen Out Loud podcast! Mr. C will be assisting me and providing the occasional sassy quip." Mr. Coconuts: "Aw. I liked it better as the host." Luan: "On my last podcast, I taught you about pranking. Today, you'll be listening in on a comedy workshop I'm teaching here at the Royal Woods Community Center. And get this, Benny's co-teaching with me!" Mr. Coconuts: "Her co is also her beau! Speaking of, is Benny boy bringing the Appleblossom of my eye?" Luan: "Of course, he never leaves home without her. Now, Mr. C, remember to control yourself. I know you get nervous and act weird when Mrs. Appleblossom comes around." Mr. Coconuts: "I act weird? What about you?" Luan: "I'm perfectly calm. You're the one…" [a car pulls up] "Oh, my gosh! There's Benny! I can't breathe!" [her teeth start chattering] "Oh, oh, oh!" [drops Mr. Coconuts] Mr. Coconuts: "Ow! Neither can I! Think she'll notice this dent in my head?" Luan: "Oh. I'm sorry, Mr. C." Mr. Coconuts: "Ooh! Is that a '94 Windstar? I love the wood panelling!" Luan: "Oh, here he comes. How's my hair?" Mr. Coconuts: "Oh, is that your ticker making all that racket? Way to play it cool! Oh, my gosh! Is that my lady? How's my hair?" Benny: "Hey, Luan." Luan: "Hi, Benny. Put it there!" Benny:[shakes Luan's hand, and gets electrocuted] "Woah!" Luan: "Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that." Benny: "That's okay." [Gets zapped again] "Oh! You got me!" Mr. Coconuts: "Don't worry, Luan, I'll smooth this over for us." [To his ladyfriend] "Hey, Mrs. A! I'm pretty, you're cute. Together we'd be pretty cute! What do you say?" Mrs. Appleblossom:[giggles] "Oh! Oh, Mr. Coconuts! You have such a way with words!" Mr. Coconuts: "See that, Luan? Saved it!" Benny: "Well, should we go set up?" Luan: "Oh, sure. Let me just get my supplies." Benny: "Here, let me get that for you." Luan: "Wait, Benny! Watch out for my spring-loaded…" [too late] "boxing glove." Benny: "It's okay. Actually, it hit Mrs. Appleblossom." Mrs. Appleblossom: "Oh, I'm fine. I was a champion boxer in the marionette division." Mr. Coconuts: "Ooh! My lady can tell jokes and throw a punch. Be still, my beating heart!" [They enter] Benny: "This place is way bigger than I thought! So many classes going on." Luan: "I know! Basketball, woodworking..." Mr. Coconuts: "Yowzers! I'll pass on that!" [Mrs. Appleblossom is scared also. Suddenly, they hear bleating] "Is that seniors' goat yoga?" Benny: "Wow, Seymour's really flexible! His legs are behind his head!" [a cracking is heard] "Oh, that didn't look good. Shake it off, Seymour!" Luan: "Oh, here's our classroom, Benny." [They enter] Benny: "Shall we set up?" [They get setting up] Luan: "Oh, yes, that's perfect." Benny: "Look how I set the horns up." Luan: "Yep, I would put those over there, though." Benny: "I kinda like it." Luan: "We're ready. Oh, the students are arriving! Wait. Leni, what are you doing here?" Leni: "Well, I don't understand your jokes at home, so I thought I'd come here to learn! First question: When am I supposed to laugh?" Luan: "Aw, that's so supportive, but hold all the questions until the end." Leni: "Luan, you're hilarious!" Luan: "That wasn't a joke." Leni: "See? That's why I'm here!" [just then, Flip appears and starts sniffing] Flip: "I smell pie, is it free?" Luan: "Flip, it's only for the students taking our comedy workshop." Flip: "Then sign me up! When's pie time?" Luan: "Not yet. Take a seat." [Suddenly a coffin rolls in] Flip: "Whoa! Dead guy coming in hot!" Benny: "Why is there a casket in here?" [The casket opens, everyone is scared, then the casket's owner pops out] Boris: "Is this the comedy workshop?" Luan: "Oh! It's just Boris! Lucy didn't mention that you were taking the workshop." Boris: "I was going to take woodworking to make a bigger casket. Lately, I've been going through a growth spurt. Anyway, that class was filled up, so I am here now." Benny: "Well, we're glad you're here!" Mr. Coconuts: "Really? I vote we put him back in his wooden box!" Luan: "Mr. Coconuts!" Mr. Coconuts: "What? We're all thinking it!" Luan: "Okay everyone, let's go ahead and get started." Leni:[laughs] "Oh, Luan, you crack me up!" Luan: "Not yet, Leni! But I love your enthusiasm." Benny: "Wait, I think I hear another student coming..." [hears naying] "on a horse?" [Suddenly, the lights go out] Luan: "What happened to the lights?" Mrs. Bernardo: "Ladies and gentlemen, fresh off her directing debut for Sunset Canyon's Afternoon Dinner Theater, I give you… Mrs. Bernardo!" Mr. Coconuts: "And she brought her horse! Look at the size of those chompers!" [Mrs. Bernardo dismounts] Luan: "I'm so honored that you're taking our comedy workshop, Mrs. Bernardo!" Mrs. Bernardo: "Well, since I'm already a master of drama, I figured I'd try dipping my toes in the fountain of comedy!" Luan: "Great. Let's get started! Today, we'll be teaching the three P's of comedy… pratfalls, props and puns." Benny: "Uh, first up is pratfalls. Luan's gonna demonstrate." [plops something on the floor] "Luan! Watch out for that banana peel!" Luan: "Huh? What banana peel… Whoa!" [Luan does a pratfall, everyone laughs] Leni: "Oh, no! Luan! Are you OK? Someone call an ambulance!" Luan: "No, Leni! That's what a pratfall is! I just pretend to be injured. Leni: "Oh! So, do you need an ice pack?" Benny: "Now it's your turn, class. Let's see your best pratfalls! Mrs. Bernardo, do you want to show us how it's done?" Mrs. Bernardo: "It would be my pleasure. Could the tall, sensitive man in back play me in?" Boris: "She must mean me." [plays his keyboard] Mrs. Bernardo:[with lots of dramatic flair] "I'm walking! I'm walking! I think I'm going to fall!" [Mrs. Bernardo falls] "I have fallen! I'll never walk the stage again!" [Mrs. Bernardo finishes] "Well, are reviews in?" Mr. Coconuts: "I've got a review for you, my tiny shoe is funnier than you, toots!" [Mrs. Bernardo is aghast, but Mrs. Appleblossom giggles] Luan: "Mr. Coconuts! What did we talk about?!" Mr. Coconuts: "What? Made my lady laugh!" Mrs. Bernardo:[upset] "Listen, you little stump, do you know who I am?! The Royal Woods Gazette gave my one-woman show five stars!" Mr. Coconuts: "Was that out of twenty?" Mrs. Bernardo:[gasps] "No one insults Mrs. Bernardo!" Luan: "No, Mrs. Bernardo, please don't leave! Mr. C didn't mean it!" Mrs. Bernardo:[gets back on her horse] "Come on, Hamlet! Let's blow this dump!" [they leave] Luan: "Mr. Coconuts! I know you're showing off cause Mrs. Appleblossom is here, but you can't say things like that! You'll drive everyone away!" Mr. Coconuts: "Oh, I'm sorry, doll. I promise to keep my big yap shut." Benny: "Why don't we move on to the next part of our comedy workshop?" Luan: "Good idea, Benny. Section two props. My favorites are my squirt flower..." [sprays it, right at her boyfriend] "Whoops!" [laughs] "Sorry, Benny!" [returns to teaching] "My gag glasses… my rubber chicken… and my whoopie cushion." [plays it] Flip: "Who needs that! I got the real deal right here!" [demonstrates] Mrs. Appleblossom: "Oh, no! Oh, good heavens!" Benny: "OK, moving on..." [getting sick to his stomache] "Oh! Oh! Oh, geez. Luan, can you take over?" Luan: "Sure. Let's just turn a fan on in here. Oh, that's better. Now, if you don't have any comedy props, you can make your own! Benny and I are going to show you how with these balloons!" Benny: "When shaping balloons, the first thing you want to do is let out a little air, like this." [lets some air out] "This makes the balloon softer and easier to twist." [twists the balloon] "And, done! Look, I made a hat!" Luan: "And I made a duck! Okay, everyone. Now it's your turn. We've got balloons on the table here, so just grab a few! And listeners, that means you, too! Time to start twisting!" [the remaining students start] Benny: "Uh, hey Boris, what are you making?" Boris: "Human innards. It's a special present for mother's birthday." Mr. Coconuts: "Yeesh! Well, that's one way to ruin a birthday!" Boris:[hurt] "The little wooden man has hurt my feelings. I will go." Luan: "No, Boris! Please, don't leave!" [too late] "Mr. C, what did I tell you about shutting your big yap?" Mr. Coconuts: "Oh, I'm sorry, toots. I'll try harder! Big yap shut." Benny: "Okay, everybody, now we're going to move on to the final section of the workshop puns!" [laughs] "Luan, can you give the class an example?" Luan: "Certainly, Benny. Hey, guys, why did the pig's sister get mad at her during dinner? Cause she was hogging all the food!" [she and Benny laugh] " Okay, now it's your turn. Let's hear your best puns. Flip, you wanna start us?" [Flip has fallen asleep] "Never mind. Leni, how about you start us off?" Leni: "Uh, uh. Sometimes at night I eat cookies and watch the Dream Boat. Get it?" Benny: "Okay, that wasn't really a pun, but, interesting story." Mr. Coconuts: "Would we call that interesting? No wonder old fart pants is snoozing!" Leni: "Mr. Coconuts, stop being mean! Sorry to bail, Luan, but I can't take anymore. See you at home." Luan: "Leni, wait! Mr. Coconuts! Why do you keep doing this?" Benny: "Uh, Luan, I think Mrs. Appleblossom and me are gonna go. This workshop isn't going very well. I mean, Mr. Coconuts is kinda driving everyone away. Honestly, I'm scared to hear what he thinks of me." Mrs. Appleblossom: "Salutations. Come on, Benjamin." Luan: "No, wait! Please! We're not done!" [furious] "Mr. Coconuts! I hope you're happy! You ruined the workshop!" Flip:[wakes up] "Hey, is it pie time?" Luan: "Flip, don't touch that pie! Mr. C, come on! Let's grab Benny and Mrs. Appleblossom before it's too late!" [the go down the hall] Mr. Coconuts: "Oh! There they are by the exit!" [they run to them] Luan: "Benny, wait! I just wanted to say…" [some people howl] "What I'm getting at is…" [more howling] "What is that?! I'm trying to apologize here!" Benny: "That's the Royal Woods Werewolf Enthusiast Club. My neighbor's the pack leader." [someone howls again] "That's him. Looks like they're done now. You were saying?" Luan: "I'm sorry for all the mean stuff Mr. Coconut said. We just got… I mean, I just got a little nervous." Benny: "What do you have to be nervous about?" Mr. Coconuts: "What are you, dense, kid? She likes you, you like her. I like her and I hope she likes me. Do I need to spell it out for you, Benny boy?" Mrs. Appleblossom: "We accept your apology and I like you, too." [kisses Mr. Coconuts] "Oh! I got a splinter!" Mr. Coconuts: "Hot dog! Let's get some steaks!" Luan: "Hang on! We have a workshop to finish. Podcasters, we'll be back in a few. Mr. C has some apologies to make for running his chompers." [they go to make those apologies] "Okay, we're in the classroom now and everyone's back for our last exercise." Benny: "We're gonna introduce you to the fourth P of comedy… Pie!" Flip: "Finally!" Benny: "We're gonna be throwing these pies at Mr. Coconuts while we roast him!" Mr. Coconuts: "Well, that's not a good idea. I'm practically firewood!" Luan: "No, no, no. In comedy, "roasting" is when you make jokes about someone. Now, normally, that's not very nice, but when it comes to roasting, everyone knows it's in good fun! And I think we can all agree, Mr. Coconuts has it coming." Benny: "Mrs. Appleblossom, why don't you go first and show us how it's done?" Mrs. Appleblossom: "It would be my honor. Mr. Coconuts, I thought of you the other day. It reminded me to take out the trash!" [everyone laughs] "Nice one, toots! A beauty and a comedian!" Mrs. Appleblossom: "Here comes the pie!" [throws it] Mr. Coconuts: "Hmm! Rhubarb!" Mrs. Bernardo: "Mrs. Bernardo is ready to do the roasting now! Mr. Coconuts? More like Mr. Bananas! Because I don't understand your a-peel!" [laughs] "Pie!" [throws it, everyone laughs] Leni: "Oh! A peel! Like a banana! I totally get it!" Luan: "Great job, Leni. You're going to graduate! Flip, you're up!" Flip:[too busy eating his pie] "Pass! Is there any more pumpkin?" [an alarm goes off] Luan: "Okay, class! That's all the time we have. I hope you all had fun at our comedy workshop." Benny: "Yeah. Thanks for coming, everybody! And feel free to take some pie home. We got plenty of extra!" Flip: "I will be taking you up on that!" [everyone starts leaving] Leni: "It was just the best day ever! I totes wanna come back!" Luan: "Well, podcasters, thanks so much for joining us today! I hope you enjoyed it!" Mrs. Bernardo: "Hamlet, time for our departure." [gets back on her horse] "You, there, we need exit music." Boris: "I've got you, Mrs. B." [Plays some jazzy music, suddenly Mrs. Bernardo falls] Leni: "Ah! Nice pratfall!" Luan: "No, Leni! I think she's really hurt!" Mrs. Bernardo: "No, no! I'm okay! 'Twas simply a comedic pratfall!" Flip: "Lady, your horse is hogging all the lemon meringue!" Mrs. Bernardo: "Hamlet! Get away from the pie bar! Come help mommy, won't you?" Luan: "I should probably go! Well, until next time, podcasters. Keep laughing!"
