The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
Lucy: "Greetings, fans of the macabre, Lucy Loud here, It's the most wonderful time of year, i am of course talking about, Halloween, The only time my parents don't ask me to put away my Coffins and Skeletons, when they see them in the living room." Haiku and Lucy: "Goth perks." Lucy: "To celebrate, I'll be sharing my family's top ten scariest moments with a few excerpts from my poerty book, The spooky countdown starts up when, I tell this tale of number ten". [It cuts to a clip from "Jeers for Fears", Lincoln opens the door. They both become scared. They step forward. The hallway is shown to be dark as well with red lights coming from each sisters' room.] Lincoln: "Uh... it doesn't look so bad." [The boys smile nervously at each other before walking down the hallway. Unbeknownst to them, a huge shadow appears on the wall behind them. As they keep walking, two hands grab the boys' shoulders.] Lincoln: "Thanks for the encouraging pat, buddy." Clyde: "You too." Lincoln & Clyde:[realizes] "That's not me..." [The boys look at their hands before turning around to see a giant hooded figure standing right behind them.] Sisters except Lori:[Pop out of the hood at once.] "BOO!" [Lincoln and Clyde scream and freak out, run right into the walls. They become dazed, then they pass out on to the floor. The girls take the hood off and notice the boys on the ground. They look at each other guiltily.] Sisters except Lori: "Whoops." [The boys are now wrapped in blankets. Their teeth chatter while they are shaking terrified. Lucy approaches them.] Lucy: "This is my fault. I gave you too much fright too soon." Lincoln:[his voice vibrating] "It's okay." Clyde:[his voice also vibrating] "You meant well." [Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "We'll dial the scares back a little for round two." Lucy:[sighs] "Some of my best work, Let's keep reading, Number nine features a spector's host, when Lola encounters a spooky ghost." Lucy: "Ready, everyone? I have a feeling the ghosts will be very active this evening." [Lola gulps] "Spirits, give us a sign you are amongst us." [...nothing] "I said, give us a sign." [Inside a crypt, Fangs hears this call sign and turns on a radio with ghostly moans (clearly Lucy's voice recorded onto tape), which starts to play. Lola is terrified!] Lucy: "Our spirit must be in that crypt." [points to crypt as the ghostly moans continue to play] "I'll go inside and coax it out." Haiku: "I swear, if it's Principal Huggins again, I'm outta here." [Lucy enters the crypt...] Lucy: "Quick, Fangs. Costume me." [Fangs drops a tattered robe onto Lucy, disguising her. She takes out two more costume items to use. Outside, the crypt opens with green smoke coming out of it.] Lucy:[In disguise; raspy] "Lola Loud, I was once a young and beautiful pageant queen like youuuuuu. I must devour your youthful essence." [Runs for Lola. Now Lola is TERRIFIED beyond belief; she takes off running, her tail between her legs, before she trips on a protruding tree root. The "spirit" continues to pursue Lola... Suddenly, a crow notices this and dives down to rescue Lola. Lola screams as the spirit closes in, then the crow attacks it] "Shriek!" [The crow takes Lucy's costume off] Everyone else: "Gasp!" [Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "You'll notice a theme for story number eight, eight legs and eight eyes for my sister to hate." [All the sisters who are not Leni bid farewell to her.] Lincoln: "I'll miss you, Frank, but I'm glad things are gonna be back to normal around here." [In her room, Leni is brushing her hair.] Leni: "20...21...22...23..." [However, ominous music plays as an egg sac appears in the vents; A horde of baby spiders hatch and scurry through the vents into Leni's room. The camera cuts to Lincoln, closing the front door and holding the cage with Frances inside. He has a guilty look on his face.] Leni:[Off-screen screaming] "AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! SPIDERS!!!" [Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "Gasp, Cobwebs, The perfect Halloween decoration, I'll have to get some while i'm up here, My next poem tells the story of two pranksters with a fear of their own." [coughs] "When bullies run wild on Old Hallow's Eve, It was up to us to get them to leave." Lucy: "The crimes you have committed this night shan't go unpunished. You reap what you sow." [She slashes a rope with her scythe, dumping a bucket of fake blood on them, making them scream.] Hank: "Blood!" Hawk: "I'm gonna puke!" Hank: "If you're gonna puke, I'm gonna puke!" [As they run out screaming, Lucy gives a small smile of satisfaction.] Hank:[nauseous] "We're not...coming back here...again..." [He and Hawk run off.] Luna:[finishing her song] "♫ You got...tricked! ♫" [Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "Hmmm, Next time i'm adding more fake blood to my scythe, I should go get it from the fridge before Dad finds it." [Then she hears and realized that Dad is screaming after opening the fridge.] Lucy: "Too late." [Lincoln nervously gulps and opens the door to the basement. He tries to turn the light on, but it doesn't work.] Lincoln: "Seriously?" [goes down the steps and hears a voice.] Voice: "I will get you..." Lincoln:[screams] "Who said that?" [notices he's stepping on a talking doll.] Doll:[in a deep voice] "I will get you..." [in a happy tone after Lincoln takes his foot off] "...another cup of tea." Lincoln:[sighs] "Get a grip, Lincoln. It's just a doll." [gets to the bottom, walks into a giant cobweb, falls into a few things that sets a Hockey stick to come at him, screams and gets out of the way as the doll's head comes off and rolls on the floor.] "THE HARVESTER!!!" Lynn Sr.:[from upstairs] "Lincoln, come back up! I just remembered the pumpkins aren't in the basement." [Lincoln rushes back upstairs, Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "The Basement, One of my happy places, Just like this attic, Here's a preview of our next spooky moment, While at college, Lori soon discovered, Spirits were present, who roamed and hovered." [She puts a book on Lori's stack, which proves to be too much for her. Lori collapses, and the other students shush her. Later, Lori places her books down at a desk, but one of them begins to levitate and opens, scattering dust all over Lori.] Lori: "What. Is. Happening?!" [runs to librarian] "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" [The librarian glares.] "Oh, I know, I know, I know. Shh." [returns to the desk, only to find a gigantic pile of books on there. She panics as another books levitates itself on top of the pile, and the stack falls on Lori. She emerges from the pile to find the glaring librarian.] "It wasn't me!" [the final book lands on Lori] "Ow." [Lori is now at a bar] Lori: "It's just nerves. A little iced tea and a little lemonade, and I will be fine. Hello? Anyone here? I just wanted to get an Arnold Palmer." [A drink pushes itself towards her. She's once again horrified as the drink collapses, and she comes face to face with a janitor.] "I'm sorry!" [she runs out of the room, Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "I think i would make a good spirit, My family says i already have the haunting down." [It shows some footages of Lucy scares Luna and she jumps.] Lucy: "I'm trying to write here." [Lincoln walks and sees Lucy>] Lucy: "What are you doing?" [Lincoln screams and falls over.] Lucy: "You forgot me. [Lincoln jumps on the couch and falls over.] Lucy: "You forgot me. [Lincoln falls over.] Lucy: "Nice going." [The Loud sibling are screaming.] Lucy: "Nah, I don't really see it, Haunting is also the theme of my next poem, Without permission, Lola did steal, A doll of mine that made her squeal." [She moves Mr. Sprinkles out of the way only to see Rosie further behind the shelf as lightning crashes; this causes her to gasp and scream.] "Rosie! How did you get back up here?!" [points a finger at Rosie] "We put you in the crawlspace!" [Lola stops and takes a few steps forward, rubbing her chin, trying to rationalize the situation.] Lola: "Maybe I just dreamed it. Yeah! It was probably that cheese I ate right before bed, always gives me nightmares!" [Later that night, Lola, in a pink hoodie, enters the backyard, looks around, and grabs a shovel with Rosie in her pocket. She goes behind Charles' doghouse, digs up a hole, drops Rosie inside it, and fills it back up. Charles comes out, confused by what Lola's doing. She notices and glares at him.] Lola: "You saw nothing." [She heads back inside and Charles goes back into his house and whimpers, again.] [Dawn rises, again...] Lola:[giggles as she walks into her room with Mr. Sprinkles.] "I know! And it's like, 'Just because you have a beautiful mane does not make you the fashion police, am I right? I'm right!" [As Lola pours tea for her dolls, she spots Rosie at the table, prompting her to spill the tea, drop her teapot, and scream.] "What are YOU doing here?! [standing on an empty chair, pointing her finger.] "I buried you! And that was not a cheese dream!" [gasps as she realizes a pattern; in a small, prolong voice.] "You're haunted...!" [Cut to Rosie with thunder clapping.] Lola: "Of course you are... you belong to Lucy!" [gets off the chair] Well, my little friend... you picked the WRONG person to haunt!" [She puts Rosie in a garbage bag and tosses her in one of the trash cans outside the front yard, Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "The only thing better than a Victorian Doll, is a Haunted one, actually, a haunted anything is always better, This next poem is one of my favorites, Two pranksters came by to stop all our fun, so Luna sang a song to make them both run."
Luna: When darkness falls on the house of Loud Around every turn, new terror abounds You don't want to lose your head! Ha ha ha!
♫ You can run, but you can't hide ♫ ♫ They know that you taste better alive ♫ ♫ I don't think that they've been fed ♫ ♫ In a long, long time ♫
♫ Every corner, every floor ♫ ♫ Watch out, they ain't herbivores ♫ ♫ Ghastly ghouls out for blood ♫ Sorry, bud ♫ You got tricked ♫ ♫ You got tricked ♫
♫ You got punked and pranked with a spooky twist ♫ ♫ Before you wet your pants, better get out quick ♫
Tricked, tricked, tricked You got...tricked
♫ Beware of fangs and bloody fur ♫ ♫ A Loud House chainsaw massacre ♫ ♫ There's no chance that you'll get out ♫
♫ Ghosts writing your eulogy ♫ ♫ Heads are rolling literally ♫ ♫ So, who needs their mommy now? ♫
♫ Spilling guts on the floor ♫ ♫ Clean up on aisle four ♫ ♫ Why you running off so soon? ♫ Sorry dude ♫ You got tricked ♫ ♫ You got tricked ♫
♫ You got punked and pranked with a spooky twist ♫ ♫ Before you wet your pants, better get out quick ♫
Tricked, tricked, tricked You got...tricked!
[Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "I have a few ideas for this year's maze, I should call Dante and see if he still has that snake in a jar, Only a few poems left, When the boys awake slowly from resting their heads, They find Royal Woods swarming with the walking undead." [They go outside and find the whole street is empty and eerily gloomy, the only sound is a window shutter.] Lincoln: "This is weird, come on." [They run next door to Mr. Grouse's house, the front door is wide open.] "Mr. Grouse?" [The house is in the same state at the Louds, a big mess, but totally empty.] Clyde: "His place is empty too, and it looks like he left in a hurry." [The boys run through the streets, checking other houses, but eventually return to Lincoln's.] Lincoln: "Hmm, empty houses, abandoned streets, no power. If I didn't know better, I'd swear we woke up in a zombie apocalypse." Clyde: "Ha, that's funny. It does kinda look like it, the only thing missing is an actual-" [Suddenly, they hear growling. They look over and see a dark figure slowly approaching them, and gulp in fear, with dramatic music playing.] Lincoln and Clyde: "Zombie!" Lincoln: "Run!" [The boys run for it, Then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "The time has come for our scariest moment, I can hardly contain my excitement, Lincoln and Clyde try to make their way through, A Haunted House on a dare by Chandler and crew." [He and his cronies casually continue towards the house, with Lincoln and Clyde following behind, nervously. The coffin-shaped doors open themselves, and Chandler gestures inside.] "After you." [Lincoln and Clyde gulp and nervously walk in followed by Chandler and his friends.] Lincoln:[nervous] "Sure is dark in here." [Evil laughter can be heard followed by two men running out of the house screaming. The boys continue on and they reach the end of the hallway leading off in two directions.] Chandler:[Smugly] "We'll go this way, you chumps go that way." [Backing into the corridor with his Richie and Trent.] "See you chickens at the exit." [Lincoln and Clyde nervously look at each other. They enter their corridor and are greeted by a huge scarecrow with crows flying out of his mouth, they run off in fear down another hall into a giant mutant with eyes all over and holding a scythe, the mutant swings at them but they run off, they stop in a dark room to catch their breath, when suddenly.] Zombies: "Braaaiiinnns." [The lights come on revealing the boys to be surrounded by zombies, the boys scream and run again, through the rest of house.] Lincoln: "We gotta find that bail out door!" Clyde: "My thoughts exactly." [Cuts to the bail out door, where a terrified Chandler, Trent, and Richie jump right out of, then it cuts to Lucy.] Lucy: "I leave you with one last poem, I hope you've enjoyed these moments of fright, Have a happy and terrifying Halloween night."
