Lynn desperately wants to win a basketball championship, but gets drafted onto a terrible team.
Lynn is getting ready for basketball tryouts, because there's a championship game in a few days. She is desperate to win, having won the championship game in each sport in her "FLIBBR" (Football, Lacrosse, Ice hockey, Baseball, Basketball, and Roller derby) except for basketball. Upon arriving at the gym, the referee announces that each team has one available spot, and their sponsor will decide on who goes to which team. Lynn wants to join the Brie Throwers, which is the best team attending. However, Flip--who is sponsoring a team called the Turkey Jerkies--chooses Lynn, causing her to scream in despair since the Turkey Jerkies are the worst team competing.
The next day, Lynn arrives at the gym to train her teammates. There's Maya, who has a tendency to fall asleep every so often, Paula, who has an injured leg and is required to use a crutch, Amy, an overweight girl who frequently gets calls from her mother, and Diane, whose palms get sweaty when playing. When Lynn tries to train them, they're unsuccessful at doing anything well. Noting this, Lynn comes up with a new strategy and orders them to pass the ball to her whenever they grab hold of it. During the first game against the Garlic Nets, Lynn ends up scoring all the points, while Maya, Amy, Paula, and Diane just watch from the opposite side of the court. Despite winning the game, Lynn's teammates are not happy with her, since they didn't get a fair amount of play time. During the second game, the Abscessed Molars discover Lynn's strategy and use that to their advantage, causing the Turkey Jerkies to lose.
When trying to figure out what to do next, Amy answers a call from her mom, prompting Lynn to tell her to "turn off [her] dang ringer." This causes Lynn to get the idea of getting a ringer--which is another basketball player, but more talented. When Flip is unsure about this, Lynn convinces him that if his team were to win the championship, it might improve business sales; he subsequently agrees to Lynn's plan. After a whole lot of searching, Lynn finds two players from Beaverton named Megan and Morgan. During the third game, Megan and Morgan end up doing all the work, while Lynn doesn't get a chance to play. Realizing that she just went through what her teammates went through, Lynn apologizes to her teammates, stating that she was so blinded by winning the championship that she forgot the real reason why they play basketball: to have fun.
During the fourth game, the Turkey Jerkies play against the Brie Throwers, and Lynn allows her teammates to play along. When the game ends, the Turkey Jerkies begin celebrating--despite the fact that they lost 50–12. Nonetheless, they still congratulate Lynn for letting them play and have fun. Flip decides to celebrate by giving them a free Flippee (by which he means give them a single Flippee, and a straw for each one of them).
‣ Sucker Punch - Heinz Hotter [Title card.]