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[Royal Woods High School: The Theatre Club are in the gym dressed as mimes and performing different actions. The scene pans to Luan, who is holding an imaginary punching bag with Ruby punching it. Mrs. Bernardo hurries over.] Mrs. Bernardo: "Now that is how you mime, girls! I can feel the weight of that punching bag in my very soul!" [Luan and Ruby nod, then Mrs. Bernardo turns to Spencer, who holds an imaginary medicine ball and drops it on his foot.] "Don't forget to bend those legs, Spencer! Here, let me show you. I'll take the medicine ball." [Spencer hands it to her, and she breathes rapidly as she tosses it to Shannon. She cartwheels backwards out of the gym to Spencer's horror.] "Alright, people, warmups are over! Gather round!" [The other members gather up.] "Welcome to the Varsity Mime tryouts! Those of you who succeed will receive their varsity beret!" [She reveals the beret as two mime angels appear beside it. Luan stares in awe at the beret, and her eyes light up with stars.] "This beret shows that you are among the elite of the silent arts community, the best of the best! So let the tryouts commence. Places, people!" [The tryouts start with Luan posed for a running race. She paints two mime lines down her eyes with her fingers as the screen pans out to reveal Shannon, Ruby, Rex, Spencer, and Amy. Mrs. Bernardo stands on the other end of the gym at a finish gate.] Mrs. Bernardo: "Act one of our two-act tryout is the physical test. Students who complete the obstacle course in under five minutes will advance. On your marks... Get set... GO!" [The club members take off while Mrs. Bernardo provides documentary.] "And they're off. Ruby leads the pack, but Spencer is skating his way up the outside! Oh, the drama!" [Spencer skates forward while Rex runs up alongside Ruby and Amy swims while running. Mrs. Bernardo pushes an imaginary fan up to the finish line.] "Time for the wind fan!" [She pulls down the imaginary lever--which actually makes a sound. Amy, Ruby, and Benny stop and are blown back by the imaginary wind, but Shannon fights her way through it with an imaginary umbrella.] "Ah, an umbrella. Way to commit, Shannon!" [However, the wind is too strong for her, and Shannon is blown back and crashes. However, Luan keeps going. Mrs. Bernardo kicks an imaginary barrel of oil over--which also makes the sound of hitting the floor.] Mrs. Bernardo:[feigning worry] "Oh no, I seem to have spilled this very slick barrel of oil!" [She cackles as Luan slides forward while Amy and Spencer collapse, but Ruby slides past them. Mrs. Bernardo gasps in shock.] "Gasp! Watch out for that wall!" [Luan hits the imaginary wall--again making the corresponding sound--as do Amy, Rex, Spencer, and Benny. They fall backward.] "Why, that's no wall! It's a box! A Bernardo bait-and-switch!" [The members feel around, but then Luan finds an imaginary door and opens it, running toward the gate. Spencer follows her and closes the door, causing Rex to hit the imaginary door and fall back. Luan crosses the finish line first as Shannon, Rex, and Benny all follow breathlessly.] "And...time! Bravo!" [chuckles] [Spencer crosses the finish line breathlessly, but his face turns green as he gets sick, and he runs out of the gym. He retches offscreen to Mrs. Bernardo's disgust.] Mrs. Bernardo: "Something tells me that was not mimed." [to everyone else] "Now that you all passed the physical test, it's time for the mental one! Your challenge is to remain silent for the rest of the day! Now, according to the rules of the official mime codebook..." [She reaches down and struggles to pick up the imaginary book.] "Benny, a little help?" [Benny bends over, and Mrs. Bernardo places the imaginary book on his back.] "That means no texting, writing, or communicating in any form other than mime!" [The club members get nervous.] "So good luck and goodbye!" [Benny struggles and collapses.]
[Loud house: The school bus stops and Luan gets off, saluting to the bus driver as the bus drives away.] Lynn Sr.:[offscreen] "Heya, kiddo!" [The screen cuts to him and Kotaro loading crates of lobsters into Kotaro's minivan.] "We're off to the restaurant for the big lobster boil tonight. There's a good shell-ection on the menu." [He chuckles, and Luan mimes laughter at her dad's joke.] "Ah, you trying out a silent laugh? Cool." [He turns around and grabs one of the crates, but a lobster has gotten loose and crawls up his back. Luan is alarmed, but she cannot vocally warn him, so she instead motions and points to her back and mimics snapping claws. Lynn Sr. turns around after putting the crate in the van, but he does not understand.] "Bye, sweetie! Miss you too!" [The lobster pinches his bottom.] "OW!" [He runs around, shrieking painfully.] "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Kotaro:[He gasps and grabs a frying pan.] "I'm coming, buddy!" [He runs over to Lynn Sr., but he is still moving around in pain.] "Lynn! Hold still!" [The lobster jumps onto Lynn Sr.'s head, and the scene cuts back to Luan. She cringes as Kotaro hits her dad with the frying pan offscreen.] "Oops!" [The scene cuts back to Lynn Sr., who now has a lump on his head.] Lynn Sr.:[dazed] "I'm...ready to take your order, ma'am." [faints] [Kotaro drags Lynn Sr. to the van, leaving behind his cell phone. Luan runs over and grabs it, then she motions to them to try to get their attention, but Kotaro drives away. Luan looks at her father's phone and shrugs, knowing she can't call or text Kotaro.]
[Luan takes the phone inside and places it on the dining table. She goes into her room and takes off an imaginary hat, then she walks over to her bed and places her backpack on it, but then the door opens.] Lola: "Luan! I need to practice my hairstyling on someone for the Little Miss Safety Scissors Pageant. What do you say?" [Luan is horrified and tries to mime no, rubbing her hair and clutching her ponytail as well, but Lola misinterprets it.] "You're saying your ponytail is outdated and you need a new hairdo? Couldn't agree more." [She chuckles and grabs Luan, who is still trying to say no without speaking, and she snatches her out of the room.] "Let's go!" [Lola is seen cutting Luan's hair. She stops and glances at her sister's new hairstyle.] Lola: "Lola Loud, what can't you do?" [Luan's hair is now stylized into curls, smaller ponytails, a tuft in the center, and even a carousel braid. She is also shown with bows and several accessories inside it. Lola spins her around, and when Luan sees her hair, she is horrified.] "She's speechless! A reaction all too common for moi." Lynn:[She grunts offscreen and shoves a weight through the wall to Luan and Lola's shock.] "Hey-o! I need someone to help me with the deadlift set before my pre-workout wears off. Can one of you spot me?" Lola: "Actually, you can spot me...leaving this conversation." [walks off] Lynn: "How 'bout it, Luan?" [Luan shows her arm muscle drooping and tries to deny it, but Lynn misinterprets it.] "You need to build up those noodle arms. Ah, couldn't agree more. Let's do this!" [She grabs Luan, who still tries to mime no, and snatches her away, discarding all the hair accessories.] [In Lynn's room, Luan's hair is back to normal as she stands by Lynn's bed with her arms held out. Lynn lifts a heavy barbell, then she holds it above her head and yells. However, she drops it backwards onto Luan.] Lynn: "I can lift anything! Thanks for the spot, Luan!" [She runs off, leaving Luan pinned down by the barbell on her chest. She reaches out painfully, but Lynn smashes through the door as Lisa and Todd come up.] Lisa: "Who wants to be a test subject for my experiment?" [Luan reaches out for help, and Lisa misinterprets this.] "Ah, love the enthusiasm, Luan. Follow me." [Luan points painfully toward the weight. Lisa groans.] "Luan, I don't have time for tomfoolery. Todd, if you'd please." [Todd effortlessly lifts the barbell off of Luan's chest, then he drags her out of the room.] [Inside Lisa's room, Todd places Luan on a stand next to a monitor, and a glass pod lowers itself around her.] Lisa: "Thank you, willing participant. Todd and I are testing the limitations of the human body. In just a few moments, you'll experience a series of harsh and extreme conditions." [A microphone lowers to Luan's mouth, and she tries to mime that she's not allowed to talk, but Lisa does not pay attention.] "There's a mic inside the pod, so just give me a shout if anything becomes too intense. Capiche?" [Luan is distraught.] "Todd, proceed." Todd:[turns on the machine] "COMMENCING PHASE ONE: SUBZERO TEMPERATURES." [A heap of snow drops upon Luan, and she shivers.] "PHASE TWO: DESERT-LIKE CONDITIONS." [It becomes extremely hot inside the pod, making Luan swelter, but she is still unable to say she wants out.] Lisa:[gasps] "Fascinating, not a proverbial peep. Time to crank it up a notch, Todd." Todd: "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED." [He cranks a knob up to maximum power, and then Luan is struck by lightning, caught in a tornado, submerged in water, shrunken, and returned to normal size. Then her hair grows long enough to cover her entire body, and a green gas fills the pod.] Computer: "TEST COMPLETE." [Luan is finally released from the pod, but she is so stunned that she falls over.] Lisa: "Incredible! Now, let's just do that one more time to confirm the results, and you'll be on your--" [The door opens.] "Huh?" [Luan, not wanting to go through that anymore, has run out of the room. Lisa sighs.] "Why do they always run away?"
[Luan is shown hiding under the dining table, rocking back and fourth in a fetal position, worried about how she can complete her test with her sisters' antics.] Rita:[offscreen] "Kids! Anyone wanna join me at the mall?" [Luan peeks out from under the table, and Rita is shown holding Lily and having several bags around her.] "Gotta make a few returns." [The other kids hurry down the stairs and out the door in a fight cloud. Rita takes Lily off her head and grabs the bags.] "I'll take that as a yes." [notices] "Lynn! Please put Vanzilla down!" [She hurries out the door, leaving Luan all alone.] [Luan gets out from under the table and sees Vanzilla drive away, and Luan is relieved to finally be alone to complete her test. Suddenly, her dad's phone rings, and she notices a series of texts from his fish lady.] Fish Lady Deb: "Mr. Loud! Fish Lady Deb here! Listen, we've got a crustacean situation: I just found out the lobster I sold you this morning went bad sometime over the Long Island Sound. It's just so hard to tell, y'know? It all smells like fish! Anywhoose, make sure nobody eats that lobster, if you're catching my drift." [Three vomit face emojis pop up] "Vomit face emoji." [Luan is horrified, and she imagines the outcome of her dad's customers eating the spoiled lobster. They all run out of Lynn's Table in disgust.] Fantasy Lynn Sr.: "No, no, wait! Please! Please come back!" [sobs] "I'm ruined! If only someone had given me the message! [shrieks] [Back to reality: Luan realizes she has to get to Lynn's Table and warn him, and she becomes determined. She kicks open the door and glances around, then she sees Mr. Grouse in his garden, whistling.] Mr. Grouse:[He notices Luan running toward him and waving her arms.] "Oh, don't make eye contact. Maybe she'll go away." [Luan taps on his shoulder, so he sighs and stands up.] "What do you want?" [Luan mimes a lobster, then eating it and getting sick. Mr. Grouse doesn't understand.] "I'm not in the mood for charades, Loud." [He walks toward his house, but Luan stops him and mimes a steering wheel. Mr. Grouse glances toward his car.] "What is it, y-you need a... What, a ride?" [Luan smiles and nods, then she mimes eating a meal.] "Oh, to a restaurant?" [Luan nods] "Well, I guess I could nosh. Alright, hop in." [Mr. Grouse tosses away his hat as Luan grins, and the two of them enter Mr. Grouse's car.] "Where to?" [Luan mimes the lobster again, but her miming makes Mr. Grouse annoyed.] "Great, more games."
[Burpin' Burger: Mr. Grouse pulls up to the drive-thru, which is obviously not where Luan wanted to go. She is worried about not making it to her dad's restaurant in time, so she tries to mime that to Mr. Grouse.] Mr. Grouse: "You're kidding me. No Burpin' Burger, either? You've said no to three restaurants already!" [Luan tries to mime that they need to drive away.] "Well, I don't know what you want, but I'm having this." Burpin' Burger Employee: "Welcome to the Burpin' Burger! How can I help you?" Mr. Grouse: "Still deciding, hmm... Let's see, ah, the double belcher combo sounds good, but do I want that with chips or fried reflux rings? Ahh, maybe you should go first, Loud--" [The door opens, and Mr. Grouse sees Luan running off.] "Huh?"
[Lynn's Table: Luan arrives at the restaurant and sees there are a bunch of customers already there. Scoots and Tyler are sitting at a table with lobster bibs.] Scoots: "Waiter! Where are the lobsters? Despite my youthful appearance, I ain't gettin' any younger!" [Luan hurries into the kitchen and sees the spoiled lobsters stacked on the counter. She smiles and hurries over to them, grabbing a garbage can as well. But then, Lynn Sr. enters the kitchen and sees Luan jumping on the lobsters to dispose of them.] Lynn Sr.:[gasps] "Luan! What are you doing?!" [Luan jumps down and tries to mime how Mr. Grouse had driven her here, using her ponytail as a mustache, but her dad is confused.] "Uhh...right. Can you just talk to me, because I don't know what you're trying to say?" [Luan grabs a lobster and mimes vomiting, which offends her father so much that he snatches it back.] "Huh, you may not like my lobster, but plenty of other people do!" [Grant passes by the window, carrying a lobster on a tray. Luan is alarmed and hurries out of the kitchen. She sees Flip about to take a bite of one, so she runs over and smacks it into his face. She proceeds to smack the spoiled lobsters from three other customers, then catapults two more off another table, which shocks the customers.] Customer: "What the what?!" Kotaro:[He gasps, and Luan looks back to see she has knocked one of them onto his head.] "Luan! Cut that out! What are you doing?!" [He chases after her.] "Hey!" [At that moment, Mrs. Bernardo of all people is brought to a seat by Grant.] Mrs. Bernardo: "Thank you, dear boy." [She takes a seat and puts on a bib as Luan and Kotaro run behind her.] Kotaro:[He is trying to pull Luan away from another lobster...] "Luan, stop!" Scoots:[She is revealed to be the one whose lobster Luan is taking.] "Let go, missy!" Tyler: "I got you, pooky!" [Luan snatches Scoots's lobster and holds it up, slamming it down...] Mrs. Bernardo: "Ah, magnificent!" [Grant hands her a lobster. She grabs its claw and begins to eat it, which horrifies Luan. She leaps over the tables to stop her Theatre Club teacher, to the other customers' shock, but she slips in a jell-o mold and lands face-first in a bowl of cranberry sauce. Luan sees Mrs. Bernardo about to take a bite, and realizing she has no other option...] Luan: "MRS. B! DON'T EAT THAT LOBSTER! IT'S GONE BAD!" [Mrs. Bernardo stops, and everyone is surprised.] Lynn Sr.:[gasps] "Huh?" [He sniffs one and is repulsed by it, holding in vomit as he hurries off. Tyler, Scoots, and Kotaro are also repulsed by the lobster.] Mrs. Bernardo:[She pushes away her plate and is shocked that Luan spoke up.] "Luan! Do you know what you've just done?!" [Luan walks over in disappointment.] Luan:[sighs] "Yes, I spoke. I broke the cardinal rule of miming, and now I'm breaking it again by telling you about it. I guess I'm not cut out for the Varsity Team." [She begins sobbing.] Mrs. Bernardo: "Dear sweet baby child, what are you talking about?" [Luan stops crying.] "Let me read you something from the mime codebook." [She swipes away her tray and places the imaginary book on the table.] "Lucky for you, I never leave home without it." [She opens the "book", and Luan watches nervously.] "Alright, let's see... Ah, here it is: 'Mimes are to remain silent at all times... Unless another person is put in harm's way'! Luan, you did follow the rules! You spoke to save me! You're a hero! And definitely, worthy of this..." [She reveals the varsity beret and places it on Luan's head, and the mime angels appear around her.] "Your varsity beret!" Luan: "I'm on the team?" Mrs. Bernardo: "Of course!" [A tearful Lynn Sr. walks over and sobs proudly.] Lynn Sr.:[hugs his daughter] "I'm so proud of you, kiddo! And thank you for saving my behind. Well, I guess all of our behinds. Lynn-sagna on the house for everyone!" [The customers cheer, and Lynn Sr. hurries to the kitchen.] Mrs. Bernardo: "Now, let's get to school. It's almost rehearsal time!" [Luan mime whistles and waves to hail an imaginary taxi.] "Oh, hailing a cab. Excellent idea!" [The two squat and scuffle past Scoots and Tyler.] "Cabbie! Royal Woods High School, and step on it!" Tyler: "Hey, how did they get a cab so quickly?" [The episode ends.]
