The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[It's a sunny day at the Fairway campus cafe. Suddenly, Lori exits looking frantic, followed by Ewan, Marisa and Raj. They are all carrying drinks and chips] Marisa:[Losing her drink] "No, my Arnold Palmer!" Raj:[A little annoyed] "Don't worry, I got it." [All over his face. She shakes it off] "Why couldn't this emergency practice wait until after lunch?" Lori: "I don't know, just hurry! Niblick's email says to meet him ASAP." [They pick up their paces and drop their stuff on the green as they arrive] "Okay, we're here, and ready to practice, Coach." [Suddenly, they realize the coach isn't here] "Coach?" [No answer] "That's weird. Wait." [Takes out her phone] "Has the coach's email address always been TheNibster@HahaChumps.Prank?" [Suddenly a balloon full of pudding lands at Lori's feet. The adolescents look in the direction it came from just as another splatters Lori, followed by the rest. Suddenly they get bombarded by balloons and buried in pudding. Two more adolescents, wearing golf outfits with purple accentuation as opposed to Fairway's blue colors, approach them laughing and tossing the last of their balloons] Brooke: "Yes! Ten points for Sand Trap U." [Writes that down and high-fives her friend. Lori and her friends come out of the slime] Lori: "My blowout is ruined! Why are you throwing pudding at us?" Chet: "You don't know, frosh? Every year, our teams challenge each other to the most epic, week-long, college competition ever…" Chet & Brooke: "The Prank War!" Brooke:[Gets in Lori's face] "As the reigning champs, we get to kick it off by striking first. It's your move now, Fairway." [Does the classic nose tap gag with Lori and high-fives Chet again. They leave, laughing] Raj:[Who's been through this before] "No! Not the Prank War! It is the bane of my existence every year. No matter how hard we try we never even come close to beating the Sand Trap team." [Groans] "They're just too good!" Ewan: "The worst part is that the losing team has to clean the winners toilets for a month." [Flashback to flies buzzing as Ewan is trying to plunge one of Sand Trap U's filthy stalls. The plunger snaps on him and he just tosses it among the other broken plungers surrounding him] Lori: "Well, save your plungers, people, because Lori Loud cleans no one's toilets. I literally come from the prankiest family ever. I can so win this for us." [Makes a quick call home]
[Later, Lori has her friends in the lecture hall] Lori: "Raj, Marisa, and Ewan, this is Luan, my little sister and the best prankster I know." Luan: "Hiya, Lori's golf friends! Listen to me, and you'll be pranking like champs in no time, no ifs, ands, or putts about it." [Ducks out of sight and suddenly appears behind everyone, much to their fright. She has a box of props] "Anyway, I've prepared a special prank boot camp that can help you beat Sand Trap U." [Hurls the box at Ewan] "But first, say hello to my tough as nails assistant, Mr. Coconuts!" [Takes out Mr. Coconuts, who is dressed as a military commander] Mr. Coconuts: "That's Commander Coconuts to you." Ewan:[A little unsure] "Um, hello?" Mr. Coconuts:[Gets in Ewan's face] "Are you eyeballin' me, grunt? Huh?!" [Ewan nervously laughs] Luan: "Easy, Commander. They're just kids. Now, it's time to learn the three basic prank types." Mr. Coconuts: "Number one, things that go splat!" [Shoves a pie in Ewan's face and laughs]
[Later, on the green, oddly realistic cutouts of Brook and Chet, which Fairway somehow acquired, have been set up among piles of sandbags, barbed wire and a sign reading 'PIE ZONE'. Someone throws pies at the cutouts but misses. Raj tries to throw but the pie just slips out of his hands and lands at his feet] Mr. Coconuts: "Your aim is off, grunt! Drop and give me ten…" [Raj gets on all fours] "..dollars. Pies don't grow on trees, you know." [Raj takes out his wallet, takes out a ten dollar bill with his mouth and gives to to Mr. Coconuts who takes it. Raj misses his ten. Marisa throws her pie with two hands] "Throw it overhand, not underhand. This isn't a beanbag toss!" [Ewan, is just licking the icing, until Mr. Coconuts gets in his face, making Ewan drop the pie on himself] "And you, stop licking the pies. This isn't amateur hour." [Luan and Mr. Coconuts go over to Lori, who is loading a pie on a spring loaded platform, but it just splatters onto the ground] Luan: "Lori, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. Your pie springboarding technique is half-baked. Watch and learn." [Reloads the board and places two pies on it. She lets them go and they splatter the cutouts perfectly] Mr. Coconuts: "Bullseye! Right in the pie hole." [Lori tries again, but misses the cutouts. Meanwhile Coach Niblick is innocently walking along] Coach Niblick: "Ah, what a relaxing afternoon stroll." Raj: "Oh, no! We can't prank Niblick!" [Clings to Lori as Marisa and Ewan gasp] Coach Niblick: "Oh good heavens, my shoe is untied." [Bends down to tie his shoe, not even noticing the pie fly right over his head. Suddenly a gopher pops out of the ground, and becomes the victim to the pie. Lori and her friends are relieved]
[Later...] Luan: "Prank type number two: Things that go splash." Mr. Coconuts: "I hope you grunts were taking notes. Now, let's see what happens when someone steps through the lasers." Luan: "Chet and Brook are not gonna know what hit 'em." [laughs] [Mr. Coconuts presses a button on his remote control. The cutouts of Brook and Chet are placed near a field of sprinklers, and a the remote activates several lasers that aim at the cutouts.] Security Voice: "MOTION DETECTED. SPRINKLERS ENGAGED." [The sprinklers activate, lifting the cutouts before dropping them. The gopher is dusting itself from the pie when it gets hit by the cutouts, much to its dismay.] Luan: "Good job on rigging those sprinklers, Commander." [Mr. Coconuts salutes] "Prank type number three: things that go kablam!" Mr. Coconuts: "For this one, we need a volunteer." Ewan: "Ooh! Pick me! Pick me!" Mr. Coconuts: "You, muscles." [points at Ewan] "Right this way." [Ewan follows Luan to a golf tee placed at the center of a target marked KA-BLAM ZONE. Luan places a seemingly ordinary golf ball on the tee.] Luan: "All you have to do is hit this completely ordinary golf ball." [Mr. Coconuts hands Ewan a golf club, and Luan flees the scene. Ewan readies his shot, and then strikes the golf ball. The "ball" is actually a glitter bomb, and it detonates with Ewan's strike. The pink explosion is so big, it can be seen from the campus parking lot. Ewan is completely covered in pink glitter and blinks in confusion from what just happened. Luan and his teammates approach him, glad the demonstration worked... but then it turns out the gopher from earlier has also been hit by the explosion. It angrily squeaks at them and then chases them off.]
[Later, everyone is in the lounge clinking their drinks and sipping] Luan: "Congratulations, team. You survived boot camp and are ready to prank. I always knew you had it in you." Mr. Coconuts: "Hey! That's not what you told me." Luan: "Shh! Quiet, Commander." [To everyone] "Now, before I go, I wanna leave you with something." Lori:[Excited] "Ooh! Whoopee cushion? Exploding pie? Fake poop?" Luan: "All hilarious, but no. A little advice… Now that you know the pranking basics, remember, anything can be a prank. And I mean anything." Mr. Coconuts:[Takes out a small bomb] "Even an exit!" [Mr. Coconuts drops the bomb, releasing a puff of green smoke. Lori and her friends gag] Ewan: "Ugh, stink cloud." Lori:[Still loves her sister] "Ugh, typical Luan. But she's right. We're ready. So let's go win this thing."
[Later, at the Sand Trap golf course, Lori and her friends are loading pies into a golf cart glove compartment] Lori: "There. As soon as the Sand Trap team hits a bump, splat! They'll be pied and glitter bombed." [They all start laughing, when suddenly the cart's engine turns on and drives backwards, then forwards, all at high speed. Lori looks at the person behind the wheel] "Marisa, now is not the time for a joyride!" [They crash through a sign] Marisa: "It's not me!" [They crash into the gopher] "The cart's driving on its own!" [The cart drives all over the place] Ewan: "Look out!" [They are headed for a tree. They scream as they crash. They then get splattered with their own pies as they are approached by Brooke, who has an RC remote, and Chet, who has a scorecard, both chuckling] Brooke: "Nice try, Fairway. But we're one step ahead of you." Chet: "Ten points for us." [They high-five again and walk away laughing. Lori and her friends groan, then a glitter bomb goes off]
[Later, Ewan is filling a large hole with water] Ewan: "Great plan, Lori. this will be sure to cause a splash." Lori: "And now we just cover this with fake grass." [Places a grassy blanket over their pit] "Perfect. Come on, let's go hide. I can't wait to see them fall in." [Without realizing, they walk over a suspiciously square section in the grass. They all fall into another pit of water. Brooke walks up to them with a shovel, chuckling] Brooke: "Sorry, chumps. One step ahead of you again. And this time, we did you one better." [Calls offscreen] "Back it up!" [Chet backs up a golf cart and dumps golf balls on top of Lori and her friends. Then he takes out the scorecard again] Chet: "Ten points for us, plus an extra five for the golfballs." Brooke:[Sighs] "We are so good." [She hops in the golf cart and they drive off laughing. Lori and her friends get up]
[Later, Lori ais filling a water pipe with pudding] Lori: "There. All they have to do is trigger the motion sensors on the sprinklers and tapioca will go everywhere!" [Laughs] "We finally got them…" Coach Niblick:[Whistling offscreen] "What a marvelous golf course!" [Their coach is present] "Why it's almost as nice as Fairway's." [He's headed for the motion sensors] Ewan: "What? Why is Coach Niblick here? That-that's not part of the plan!" Raj: "Ugh, forget the plan! We're gonna prank our coach at our rival school with his least favorite dessert?" Marisa: "Quick, turn it off!" [Lori tries to disable the sprinklers, but the wheel breaks off] Lori: "We'll just have to trip the sprinklers ourselves. Run!" [They all charge right past their 'coach', and offscreen] Motion Sensors: "Motion detected. Sprinklers engaged." ['Niblick' cringes as Lori and friends get blasted with tapioca] Marisa: "From now on, tapioca is my least favorite dessert." Coach Niblick: "What in the world is going on here? This is not how I expect my team to behave." Lori: "Sorry, sir. I can explain." Coach Niblick: "No, I'll do the explaining." [Takes his head off, revealing himself to be Chet] Chet: "You just fell for the old coach fake-out prank!" [Laughs hysterically. He tosses the mask away as Brooke arrives with the scorecard] Brooke: "Wow. we've hit a new scoring record, and your team still has a whopping zero. Good luck catching up now." Chet: "Don't worry, we'll get those plungers ready for ya." [They high-five again and walk away laughing. Lori and her friends groan]
[Later they are back in the lounge, dreading the inevitable plunging] Lori: "I'm so sorry, everyone. I thought with Luan's help we could win. But Brooke and Chet are just too good, and honestly, a little terrifying." Raj: "Yep. They've got all the moves." Marisa: "And we've got nada, zilch, double zilch… in other words, nothing." [Lori sighs. But then remembers what Luan said] Thought Bubble Luan: "Remember, anything can be a prank. And I mean anything." [Lori's thought bubble pops, but she keeps thinking and suddenly gasps] Lori: "Guys, I know how we can beat Sand Trap U!"
[Later in the night, Brooke and Chet are chilling in their lounge, toasting to the victory they assume their gonna have] Brooke: "We did it again. Not like beating Fairway is ever a challenge." Chet: "Here's to another year of not having to clean out toilets." [They clink their glasses together when suddenly they hear Lori outside] Lori:[Outside] "We have this prank war in the bag!" Raj: "Yeah, this is gonna be epic!" [Brooke and Chet go over to the window, letting their drinks spill on the floor, and see Lori and her friends covered in dirt carrying a ladder, shovel, drill and rubber chicken] Lori: "Shh. Come on. We don't want Brooke and Chet to know about the outrageous booby traps we set up all over their golf course." Ewan: "Oh, boy. I wouldn't wanna be them when those bad boys go off." [They all walk away laughing. Brooke and Chet aren't buying this, at least they think they aren't] Brooke:[Scoffs] "I'm not worried." Chet: "Me neither." [They try to laugh this off, but their grins have been wiped off their faces. They hurry off]
[As the sun rises, the Sand Trap golf course looks like a minefield. Brooke and Chet are driving themselves crazy digging holes] Chet:[Can't take anymore] "Where are they?! Where are the pranks?! The gags?! The booby traps?!" Brooke:[Also losing it] "We spent all night tearing apart our golf course, and we've found nothing!" [Suddenly they hear laughing as Lori and her friends approach] Lori: "That's because there is nothing." Brooke & Chet: "What?" Lori: "A wise prankster once said, anything can be a prank. And I realized if that's true, maybe they best prank of all can be nothing." Marisa: "And you guys fell for it. Boom!" Chet: "That is the best prank I've ever seen!" Brooke: "Compose yourself, Chet! Fine you got us. That doesn't mean you have enough points to win." Lori: "Well, let's see." [Has the scorecard] "We get ten points for every prank. And since we basically tricked you into pranking yourselves on all eighteen holes of your course, that's a hundred-and-eighty points." Raj: "Sounds like a new scoring record." Brooke: "Fine, you win. Come on, Chet." [Grumpily drags Chet away] Ewan: "Bye! We'll see you later today for our toilet cleaning. Let me know if you need any tips!" Raj: "We did it, you guys!" Marisa: "All thanks to Lori!" [They carry Lori over their shoulders] Ewan, Marisa & Raj: "Lori! Lori! Lori! Lori! Lori!" [Suddenly the gopher reappears and whistles, alerting all his gopher friends] All four: "Uh-oh." [They run for it as the gophers chase them. The end]
