The following is a transcript for the episode "Prize Fighter."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[At Royal Woods Elementary, Meryl- disguised as Cheryl- is filing her nails when Lola enters with a stack of papers] Lola: "Good morning, Cheryl! Here are the attendance records." [realizes something, drops the papers, and sniffs closely] "Wait... you're not Cheryl, you're Meryl!" Meryl: "What are you talking about, sugarplum? It is me! It is Cheryl!" Lola: "You wear Cute Country Critters No. 5, and your sister wears Honeysuckles and Hayflower No. 2." Meryl: "Wow, there's no fooling you, crumbcake! I'm pullin' double duty and fillin' in for Cheryl. She's off with the other judges deciding the Minnie McFiggle Award for a lifetime achievement in pageantry!" Lola: "How have I never heard of this award? And more importantly, how have I never won it?" Meryl: "Well, appletart, it's only the highest honor in pageantry!" Lola:[excited] "Tell me everything, Meryl!" Meryl: "Listen, I can't stay and gab. I need to get back to the middle school before Principal Ramirez notices." [Cut to Meryl's office at Royal Woods Middle School, where she's set up a pillow with her face on it and a beehive wig on top. Back to Royal Woods Elementary.] Lola: "I'm happy to drive you, Meryl." [Meryl puts an identical pillow on her chair.] Meryl: "What are we waiting for?!" [They both raise their arms in victory.]
[Lola drives her jeep with Meryl riding shotgun and screaming, startling two students with a corgi leaping into its owner's arms.] Lola: "So, tell me about this award." Meryl: "Well, from what Cheryl says, it measures not only pageant accomplishments, but contributions to the community." Lola: "Contributions to the community?!" Meryl:[gasps] "Lemonade stand!" [Lola dodges a lemonade stand, causing the owner to duck.] Lola: "Aw. At least Cheryl's not shouldering the burden alone. You said there were other judges?" Meryl: "Two of them! Dana Dufresne and Howard McBride." [gasps] "Tow truck!" [Flip is about to tow a car on his truck when Lola's jeep drives up the ramp and flies off.] Lola: "Cheryl, Dana, and Howard, huh?" [They land near Royal Woods Middle School, but Lola keeps driving] Meryl:[realizes] "Wait, girl, that's my stop!" [Lola brakes and reverses back to the middle school] Lola: "Oopsie. Sorry." [Meryl exits the jeep] "Time to go show the judges all my contributions."
[Mr. Grouse is at the crosswalk holding groceries when Lola shows up, startling him.] Lola: "Hi, Mr. Grouse. How'd you like to make twenty bucks?" Mr. Grouse: "Twenty bucks? That depends. Do I have to be a corpse again for your spooky sister?" Lola: "Ew, no. All you have to do is let me help you cross the street. Deal?" Mr. Grouse: "Hmmm... Alright, deal. But only if you sweeten it with a couple of coupons from your dad's restaurant. I'm talking the ones with no expiration date." Lola:[sighs] "Fine." [Suddenly she hears Cheryl walking down the other side of the crosswalk whistling a very familiar tune] "NOW!" [shoves Mr. Grouse onto the sidewalk, spilling his groceries. Feigning sweetness] "Let me help you across this very busy street, Mr. Grouse!" [helps Mr. Grouse cross the street and notices Cheryl] "Cheryl, what a coincidence! I was just helping this poor, old man." Mr. Grouse: "Hey, now-" Lola:[socks Mr. Grouse in the gut] "Look at him, he's so frail!" Cheryl: "Oh, he's so lucky you were there to help him, little pickle. That was mighty considerate of you. Toodles!" [crosses the crosswalk] Mr. Grouse: "Hey, are you gonna help me clean up this mess or what?" [His groceries are still rolling on the road.] Lola: "Sorry. Busy." [A truck drives by and runs over an orange, spilling its juice on Lola. Mr. Grouse laughs at her misfortune.]
[Lola is now at Tall Timbers Park, spying on Dana eating yogurt. She splashes dirt on her face.] Lola: "OK, time to pick up the trash!" [hoists a trash bag on her back. She drops an apple core near Dana] "La la la... It feels so good to clean up Mother Earth." [She picks up the core and puts it in the bag.] Dana: "It's Lola Loud!" Lola: "Dana, darling, I haven't seen you since you hosted the Little Miss Lil' Ol' Me Pageant!" Dana: "That's right. What's a star like you doing picking up trash?" Lola: "Oh, I just believe in doing my part. No need to commend me." Dana: "Well, I give you a solid 10 for dedication. Here, I just finished my yogurt cup." Lola: "Oh, what am I supposed to do with- oh, right. Thank you so much." [nervously chuckles as she puts the yogurt in the bag. She hoists the now full bag before the bag breaks and its contents spill out before the wind blows them away. A stray piece of paper hits Lola in the face] "OH, COME ON!"
[Sunset Canyon] Howard: "Have fun with Nana Gayle, Clyde! I'll pick you up at 6." [turns around to catch Lola wheeling a cleaning basket] Lola:[feigning shock] "Mr. McBride, I didn't see you there!" Howard: "Lola, I didn't know you worked at Sunset Canyon!" Lola: "Actually, I'm volunteering as a candy striper. There's nothing I wouldn't do for these sweet old folks. As a volunteer. On my own personal, invaluable time." Howard: "I must say, I'm impressed." [leaves] Lola[wipes sweat] "Phew. I don't need this anymore." [Suddenly an employee shows up] Employee:[frantic] "Come quick! Mr. Arnold had an accident at the pudding machine! There's tapioca everywhere!" Lola: "Wait, I'm not-" [The employee grabs Lola and drags her to the scene.]
[Royal Woods Elementary, Cheryl's office. Meryl is still posing as Cheryl when a badly bruised Lola shows up] Lola: "Meryl, the attendance records." [drops the papers and prepares to leave] Meryl: "Ooh, wait up, tater tot! I've got news." [Lola eagerly waits] "Ooh, but Cheryl says I've gotta keep the beans in the can, so I can't say." Lola: "Sweetie, I'm running on five hours of sleep, there are apple cores in my hair, and I smell like week-old tapioca. I'm not in the mood!" Meryl: "OK, OK. Keep your Friday night open, girl, 'cause you're getting the Minnie McFiggle!" Lola: "I am?! I did it! The biggest pageant award there is, and it is mine!"
[At the Royal Woods Mall, Lola is shopping] Lola: "Thanks for helping me shop for a new gown Eunice. I intend to dazzle when I accept this award." Pageant Girl #1:[Offscreen, talking to her friend] "Can we just talk about the Minnie McFiggle award?" [They pass by Lola who quickly grabs sunglasses and a hat off a mannequin and hides, placing Eunice on a t-shirt display] Pageant Girl #2: "I heard through the pageant grapevine that Lola Loud is getting it this year." [They look around] "Poor girl. Everyone knows the award is cursed." [Lola doesn't like the sound of that] Pageant Girl #1: "Remember Mia and Sophia? They both won the McFiggle and never won another pageant ever again." Pageant Girl #2: "I guess that's the end of Lola Loud's career." [Lola is horrified, but stays in hiding until the girls leave] Lola:[Takes off her disguise] "I can't win a cursed award! I refuse to be washed up at seven." [Grabs Eunice] "We need to find a way out of this before the ceremony tomorrow night. Wait if I won this for being a model citizen maybe I could lose it by being a monster. We all know I'm great at being a monster." [Looks at Eunice and scoffs] "You didn't have to agree so quickly, Eunice."
[Later, Lola's car is parked at the Burnt Bean. Lola is sitting at the counter] Burnt Bean Manager: "Uh, triple espresso for Dana!" [Dana walks up to the counter] Dana: "It's Lola Loud." [While Dana gets the cream Lola tips Dana's coffee on the floor] Lola: "Oopsie." [Next, Howard is preparing to trim his prized flower bushes when a car horn sounds and Lola drives right over them] Howard:[Gasps] "My prize winning petunias!" Lola:[Calls back] "Oopsie!" [Drives on. Later, Cheryl and Meryl are walking along, minding their own business] Meryl: "Now did you remember to record the season finale of Southern Hospitality?" Cheryl: "Sister are you crazy? How could I forget?" [Lola comes out from behind a lamp post] Lola: "Whalen picks Montana." [Cheryl and Meryl scream, having been spoiled, and walk away] "Oopsie."
[Later, Lola and Eunice are at Auntie Pam's Parlor for an ice cream break] Lola:[Sighs] "I forgot how being a monster works up an appetite." [Licks her ice cream then dives into the bushes when the two girls walk by again] Pageant Girl #2:[To her friend] "Girl, can we talk about the Minnie McFiggle award?" [Lola grabs Eunice] "I heard the judges reversed their decision. Lola Loud is out and Diana Sherwood is in." Pageant Girl #1: "Poor Diana, thanks to that curse her pageant days are numbered." [The two take their ice cream and go. Lola and Eunice come out of the bushes] Lola: "Yes! Eunice, we're in the clear." Cricket: "In the clear for what?" Lola:[Gasps] "Cricket, darling, boy you just came out of nowhere didn't you?" Cricket: "Oh I just had to stop off here. J'adore Auntie Pam's." Lola: "I was just telling Eunice how relieved I am to not be winning the Minnie McFiggle award." Cricket: "What? But why?" Lola: "The curse, of course, after Mia and Sophia got the award they never won another pageant." Cricket:[Who knows more than the two girls] "That's because Mia's parents are astronauts and they moved the family to mars, and Sophia became the youngest mayor in North Dakota's history." Lola: "So wait, the Minnie McFiggle is a good thing?" Cricket: "It's the highest pageant honour there is." Lola: "Dang it. I've gotta reverse that reversal before the ceremony tonight." [Heads off to do so]
[Back at the mall, all three judges are eating lunch, Lola spying on them through binoculars] Lola "Now to re-dazzle them as fast as I can." [Looks around] "But how?" [Sees Flip fishing coins out of the fountain] "Eh, I can work with that." [Goes to Flip] "Hey, Flip!" Flip[Jumps out] "Huh!? What?! No it's not what it looks like." [Sees Lola] "Oh, it's you it is what it looks like then. What do you need, kid?" Lola "How'd you like to make twenty bucks?" Flip "Bud Grouse says the going rate is twenty bucks and two coupons for free dinners at your dad's place." Lola: "Ugh! Fine! Here's what I need you to do… wait a minute then fall down in the fountain and splash around like you can't swim. I'll come rescue you." [Flip doesn't say anything, he just holds his hand out for payment, Lola obliges. Lola goes to get into position when she runs into someone] "Diana Sherwood?" Diana: "Hi, Lola. What are you doing here?" Lola: "What are you doing here? And with all those seniors? You don't need to impress the judges anymore, Diana, you already won the Minnie McFiggle award." Diana: "The Figgy, what? I just love volunteering. I've been doing it for years it makes me happy to spend time with seniors. Ooh, they're about to get on the kiddie train, I gotta go." [Heads off] Lola:[Not buying it] "She puts on a good act." Diana:[To the seniors] "Sorry, guys, but you know the rules, no riding the kiddie train..." [The seniors are bummed out] "...without me!" [The seniors cheer as Diana gets in] Lola: "Ha! She's such an amateur. The judges aren't even watching." [Looks at the judges] Cheryl:[To the other judges] "Did you two see Dream Boat last night?" [Lola looks back at Diana] Elderly Woman: "Diana! You rule!" [Lola changes expressions and looks back at the judges taking a selfie. Her unimpressed expression goes back to Diana] Diana: "I really love hanging out with all of you." Lola: "Wait, Diana isn't doing this to impress the judges? Maybe she really doesn't know what the McFiggle is, which means she really is a good person." [Realizes something] "And I'm a terrible person." [Feels bad. Lola goes to the judges] Dana:[Sees Lola] "Brace yourselves! It's Lola Loud." Cheryl: "If you hear about the Minnie McFiggle award, our minds are made up and you can't change them." Lola: "I don't want to. I just came over to tell you I think Diana is an excellent choice." Howard: "It's a trap!" [Gets under the table] Lola: "No I mean it. She deserves it way more than me. The McFiggle is about serving the community, the only person I've been serving is myself. I'm sorry about the way I behaved." [Walks away and the judges are relieved] Flip:[Offscreen] "Flip's going down!" [A splash is heard] "Someone save me!" Lola:[Walks past] "You can stop now, Flip. Game's over." [Leaves] Flip: "Well I'm still keeping the coupons."
[Back at Sunset Canyon, Lola is being a candy striper for real] Howard: "Lola, it's nice to see you back." Lola: "It's nice to be back, Mr. McBride, and this time I'm here because I want to be." Howard: "That's wonderful. You know I'm on the Sunset Canyon volunteer committee and I heard you stepped in when Mr. Arnold almost drowned in rancid tapioca the other day." Lola:[Laughs] "It was nothing." [Howard whistles and Scoots, Albert, Bernie and Seymour appear] Howard: "For going above and beyond the call of duty I'd like to present you with the golden bedpan award." [Takes out a little gold trophy shaped like a bedpan] Lola: "what? For me? This is so unexpected. I don't even have a speech prepared. JK I always have something ready." Male Candy Striper: "Lola! Mr. Arnold got swept away in a tidal wave of arthritis lotion, he's not in any pain, but it does need rescuing!" Lola: "I'll give my speech later. Right now, I've got work to do." [Sets off, but then returns] "Actually, on second thought, I'll just take this." [Takes the trophy] "Bye."
