The following is a transcript for the episode "Purrfect Gig".


[At the Loud house, Luna is on her bed practicing her guitar, when her Mick Swagger poster starts talking to her.]
Mick Swagger: "Luna love, am I gonna see you at my concert this weekend?"
Luna: "Ah! I hope so, I just need to figure out how to get enough money for a V.I.P pass."
Mick Swagger: "Well you never know when opportunity comes a-knockin'."
[Just then, there's a knocking at the door. Luna slides down the railing to answer and finds the McBride family. Howard hyperventilating into a brown bag.]
Luna: "Ah, hey McB's. How goes it?"
Howard: "It's like a waking nightmare!" [Keeps hyperventilating]
Harold: "Deep breaths Howie."
Luna: [To Clyde] "Dude, what's going on?"
Clyde: "We were about to leave to pick up Nana Gayle for the annual McBride family reunion. Nana and I are the reigning sack race champs four years running. This one time, Nana started hopping, and..."
Harold: "Clyde, Honey, short version, I've got twenty pounds of Amish potato salad out in the trunk, and it's threatening to turn on me."
Clyde: "Oh, right. So in a nutshell, our catsitter cancelled at the last minute."
Harold: "Luna, is there any chance someone here could come and watch Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti?"
Howard: "We pay forty dollars."
Luna: "I don't know. Lori's gone, she hit the golf course early and; Leni's already at work so she can't help."
[Howard has a panic attack and faints. Luna imagines Mick Swagger talking to her.]
Mick Swagger: "Luna love, you should take the gig, you still need some more cash for that V.I.P pass to my concert. I heard Sam's already got hers."
[Luna has another thought bubble of Sam.]
Sam: "Come on Luna, it'll be rockin'."
[Sam and Mick play their guitars, and Luna follows along on air guitar. Thought bubbles close.]
Luna: "McB's, I could catsit for you."
Harold: "Ah, Luna, you're a lifesaver." [Throws Luna their housekeys] "Here's our housekey, uh, we left all our kitty care instructions on the kitchen table and... Oh, and just one rule, we ask that you please don't have anyone else over, our babies get anxious when they're faced with more than one stranger at a time."
Clyde: "Dr. Lopez is working with them on their trust issues."
Luna: "No prob, dudes."
Harold: [Holding Howard's arms] "Okay Clyde, you know the drill."
[Clyde takes his dad's feet and they carry him away. Harold and Clyde throw Howard into the back of the van and shake it out.]
Harold: "Thanks again Luna, we'll be home at six sharp."
Luna: "Sounds good, and don't worry, your fur babies are in good hands."

[At the McBrides' residence, Luna enters the kitchen.]
Luna: [Whistles] "Cleo, Nep, Auntie Luna's here. Okay, let's find those kitty care instruct-" [Sees the book] "Yow!" [She picks up the very heavy book and falls to the ground. She gets up and reads the title.] "McBride Guide to Feline Care, with index and annotations, revised sixth edition." [Gulps] "Yikes, this looks like a lot of..." [Luna then has a fantasy of meeting Sam at the concert, Sam greeting her with a cuddle.] "But, it's worth it." [Luna hugs the book and nearly drops it. She puts it on the table.] "Okay, let's see." [Opens the first page] "The girl's mid-morning snack is in the refrigerator. Warning! they're on a strict feeding schedule. Food must be served at promptly ten or they get cranky." [Luna doesn't like the sound of that and checks the time.] "Oh, ten o' two, I better get on that." [Opens the fridge and grabs the canned fish.] "Hang tight kitties, I just gotta open this." [Luna struggles to open it, and the cats immediately meow with impatience. Luna looks on top of the fridge and sees the angry cats. Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti jump on her, causing her to fall, the cats then lick the tuna off Luna.] "I guess dinner's on me." [Sheepishly laughs]

[Later, Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti are fighting to get off their leashes, while Luna reads the instructions.]
Luna: "Attach leashes to harnesses and keep a firm grip. The cats may... pull!" [Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti make a run for it, Luna being dragged behind them. Up ahead, a baker takes a cake out of his truck.] "Make way brah! No kitty brakes!" [They fly past the baker, his cake goes flying, but he catches it. Until Luna and the cats come back the other way and he spills the cake on himself.]

[Back at the house, the cats are under the table, Nepurrtiti licking frosting off herself, and Cleopawtra playing with Luna's untied shoelace. Luna is sitting, looking through the book.]
Luna: "Meal Portions, Medical... Messes! Bingo! If the cats get messy prepare a warm soothing bath." [The cats do not like the sound of the word 'bath' and make a break for it.] "No, no, no, no, no, come back!" [The cats jump over a table holding flowers and a goldfish, Luna saves both. The cots go into the master bedroom and Luna follows after them.] "Ah, come on dudettes." [Luna notices orange and purple shapes behind the curtains.] "Ah-ha!" [Luna opens the curtains, only to find orange and purple flowers in the window, she groans. She checks under the bed, and two bloodshot eyes look back at her, she gasps.] "Here we go."
[Luna dives under the bed and tries to grab the cats, but they escape from the other side and jump over the bed, while Luna jumps after them, but lands on the bed. She chases them through the house, and eventually, the cats end up in the bathroom, where Luna comes out from behind the shower curtain and tries to get them in the tub, but she ends up the one in the bath while the cats escape. Luna gets up, spits out the water, and has another thought bubble of Mick.]
Mick Swagger: "Hey Poppet, how goes the gig?"
Luna: "Bad, I am so overwhelmed Mick, I haven't made a dent in everything I'm supposed to do, and the McB's'll be back in a few hours."
Mick Swagger: "Well you better get crackin' if you wanna catch my show with Sam."
Luna: [Gets an idea and gasps] "Sam! She's great with cats. Thanks, Mick." [Prepares to pop the bubble.]
Mick Swagger: "Wait, love, let's not do anything too hasty."
[Yelps as Luna pops her thought bubble. Luna gets her phone out.]

[There's a knock at the door, and Luna opens for Sam. The cats are nervous.]
Luna: "Sam, you're the best." [Hugs her] "How'd you get here so fast?"
Sam: [Goes to Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti, and offers them her hands.] "I was around the corner picking up Simon from his gamer's club meeting, so we came right over." [The cats cuddle Sam.]
Luna: [Confused] "We?"
[There's another knock, and Luna opens to what is revealed to be Sam's younger brother playing on a console.]
Simon: "Hi Luna."
[The cats run off, scared. Luna slams the door and blocks it.]
Sam: [Displeased] "Hey! That's harsh."
Luna: "Sorry, I didn't mention it on the phone, but I'm not supposed to have anyone else over, the cats get anxious, I mean, I figured you'd be okay cause animals love you and all."
[Simon knocks on the door again, a little harder.]
Sam: "Well, we can't leave my little brother out there."
Luna: "It is nice weather."
Sam: [Miffed] "Luna!"
Luna: "Right, right, okay, we just need to make sure the cats don't see him."

[Later, the cats and girls cross paths, and formally nod at each other. The cats take off, and the girls turn around, revealing to be carrying Simon behind their backs.]
Simon: [Jumps down when he sees the room their taking him to.] "Cool," [the girls follow him] "what is this place?"
Luna: "The McBrides' entertainment room, you can hang out here while Sam and I take care of the cats."
Simon: [Sees something] "No way! A Dreamwalker 3 Virtual Reality System?"
Luna: "Uh, well, just promise you'll be careful. Okay? That's Clyde's."
Simon: "Promise." [Starts playing]
Sam: "Alright, let's take care of those cats."
[The girls take off.]

[In the bathroom, Sam reads the cats a story while Luna finally manages to give them a bath. Later, Sam is giving Nepurrtiti a pedicure while Luna gives Cleopawtra a massage. Later, Luna has her face to the wall and turns around.]
Luna: "Ready or not, here I come." [Luna goes looking for everyone, and passes by the menagerie shelf, seeing one extra kitty figure.] "Gotcha!"
[Nepurrtiti jumps down into Luna's arms. Later, Sam and Luna are playing with filters, they make themselves unicorns, walruses, and cats. They giggle and put Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti in front of the phone, Luna gives the confused cats a human filter, which is rather disturbing. Later, Luna is strumming her guitar.]

♫"Sleep furry babies in kitty dreamland."♫
♫"With visions of yarn balls and tuna fish cans."♫
♫"When you awake, the day shines anew."♫
♫"And morning shall greet you with a bright and happy mew."

[The cats go to sleep. Luna looks at the book as she and Sam walk out the back door.]
Luna: "Phew, Sam I owe you big time."
Sam: "Pfft, please, I'm just psyched we're gonna get see Mick together. I better duck out before the McBrides get back." [Walks off]
Luna: "Alrighty, see you Sam."
[Closes the door. Sam walks along, casually glances into a window, but stops gasping. She takes a better look and realizes she forgot something inside.]
Sam: [Freaks out] "Simon!"
[Sam makes a run for the door and tries to open it, but it's locked. Panicking, she goes around the front and is about to knock, when she hears a car pull up, the McBrides have returned, Sam sees this and dives into the bushes before the headlights hit her. The McBrides walk up to the door.]
Howard: [To a rather bitter Harold.] "Well I thought your potato salad was delicious."
Harold: "Then why did everybody go for Aunt Brenda's? Hmm? And she wasn't even supposed to bring any, she signed up for dessert."
Luna: [Opens the door] "Hey McB's, welcome home."
Howard: "Luna, how did it go with our precious fluff angles?"
Luna: "Flawless. They had snacks, they went for a run-" [realizes] "Oh, I, uh, walk. We even played-" [Gets a text, reads it, and also freaks out.] "Simon!" [Sees the McBrides looking at her.] "Says, we played Simon Says."
Harold: [As Howard gives Luna the money.] "Well, we're so grateful you could help us out in a pinch. Thanks so much, Luna."
[They enter their home, and Luna thinks quickly.]
Luna: "Wait!"
Howard: [Confused] "Is everything okay?"
Harold: "Hey, uh, did you wanna take some potato salad for the road?"
Luna: [Looks around] "Shoot, I just realized I lost, a guitar pick somewhere in the house."
Howard: [Not knowing that Simon is behind them.] "Oh, well, we'll keep an eye out for it and have Clyde bring it over."
Luna: "No, no, no, no, no, it's my lucky one, I can't jam without it." [Escorts the McBrides into the bathroom.] "I bet, we'll find it in no time if you dudes just help look, why don't you check in the bathroom, and I'll just look out here."
[Closes the bathroom door and calls Sam.]
Sam: [Comes out of the bushes] "Luna, did they see Simon?"
Luna: "Not yet, if you can sneak around the house to the back door, I'll find him and hand him off to you."
Sam: "On it." [Sam ducks into the bush, and uses it as a disguise, but walks into a birdfeeder.] "Yah! Ow."
Clyde: [Hearing that] "Huh?" [Shrugs it off]
[In the hallway, Harold exits the bathroom and enters Clyde's room. Simon, still wearing the virtual reality system, runs past Howard as he's reading a book titled 'Where to Look' followed by Luna. Clyde goes from his room to the bathroom. Simon runs into Clyde's room as Harold and Luna cross paths, she waltzes him into another room. Just then Simon runs past, Luna grabs him and carries him away.]
Simon: "Hey! What the?"
Howard and Harold: [Come out of opposite rooms. To each other.] "Did you say something? Wasn't me, Are you sure? What? Nevermind."
[Luna has Simon in the kitchen, Simon rather displeased.]
Simon: "Ah, come on Luna! I was about to defeat the final boss!
Luna: [Covers his mouth] "Shh, sorry bro, you gotta bail."
[Sam appears in the window and gestures to Luna. Luna is about to put Simon down, when suddenly.]
Clyde: [From the entertainment room.] "Dads! Have you seen my VR gear?"
Harold: "Try the kitchen honey!"
[Sam ducks out, Luna panics and throws Simon into the storage closet.]
Clyde: [Enters] "Hey Luna." [Sees his gear on the floor.] "Oh, here it is."
[Takes his gear, and hears a knocking sound.]
Luna: [Knocks on the cabinet] "Just, uh, checking for termites. It comes complimentary with my, um, uh, catsitting services."
Clyde: [Silent at first] "Nice."
[Walks away. Luna opens the storage closet, where Simon is dangling from a hook, has a bucket on his head, and spits out a scrub brush.]
Luna: "Sorry bro, you gotta go. Right now" [Luna tries to get Simon out the window, but he doesn't fit.] "The window's stuck."
[Sam tries to pull her brother out the other way.]
Howard: [Offscreen] "Luna where are you? I found your guitar pick."
Clyde: "She's in the kitchen Dad."
[Luna pushes harder, but the McBrides enter.]
Howard: "Oh, nevermind, it's just a tiny tortilla chip."
[The McBrides enter the kitchen, and the Sharps fall into the window, Howard passes out.]

[Later, Clyde and Simon are playing Virtual Reality together while Luna, holding Sam's hand, explains to Howard and Harold.]
Luna: "So, that's why Sam and her brother are here, I'm so sorry for breaking your rule." [Takes out the money.] "Here, I don't deserve this."
[Gives it back.]
Harold: "We appreciate your honesty."
Howard: "But we do have to say, when we checked in on our fur babies just now, we have never seen them sleeping so soundly."
Luna: "That was all Sam, she's a total cat whisperer."
Sam: "Wait Lunes, it was your idea to sing them a super sweet lullaby." [To the McBrides] That's what got them to sleep so peacefully."
Howard: "Well Hare-Bear, I don't know about you but I'm impressed."
Harold: "More like, me-wowed." [Laughs] "It sounds like you girls made a great catsitting team, so..." [Takes the money back out.]
Howard: "Why don't you split the forty dollars."
[Harold gives both girls twenty dollars.]
Sam: "Well, I already know what I'm doing with my half." [Gives it to Luna, who is astonished.] "What are you waiting for? Hurry up and get that VIP pass."
Luna: "Are you sure?" [Sam nods and Luna kisses her on the cheek.] "Wahoo!" [Luna and Sam hug, when suddenly there's a groggy meow. Luna's cheering woke up the cats.] "Whoops, my bad."
Sam: "Don't worry Mr. and Mr. McBride, we'll get 'em back to sleep."

[Luna plays her guitar again.]

♫"Sleep furry babies in kitty dreamland."♫
♫"When you awake, the day shines anew."♫
♫"And morning shall greet you with a bright and happy mew."

[The cats are asleep, as are the McBrides, Simon, and Luna's thought bubble of Mick Swagger.]

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