The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[As Lynn Sr. drives Camperzilla through the midwest, Rita finishes writing an article on her laptop and sends it over to Jesse.] Rita: "Ah, there." [closes her laptop] "I just finished my article on 'The Raddest Restaurants of Route 66'." [peeks out of the driver's den] "Fun title, huh, kids?" [Nearly all of her kids are completely exhausted from having eaten so much and weakly give thumbs-ups while groaning.] "Hmm. Maybe eating at ten diners in a row was a little bit ambitious." [Lynn is the only one who isn't exhausted from all that eating and closes the fridge.] Lynn: "I mean..." [pats her gut] "I could go for more." Luan: "Oh, not me. I'm so stuffed I could be a Thanksgiving turkey." [She burps so hard, all of her siblings and parents are grossed out. Some of it even leaks out of Camperzilla.] Lincoln: "Gross!" Luna: "Not cool, Luan!" Luan: "It wasn't me! It was Mr. Coconuts!" [speaks for Mr. Coconuts, not realizing he's not on her hand] "You know I can't resist the all-you-can-eat coleslaw bar." [looks at her hand, realizes he's not there and screams in panic. It's enough to jolt Camperzilla, freaking out the parents.] "Ah, where's Mr. Coconuts?!" [lifts the couch in panic] Luna: "All right, chill, dude. Where's the last place you remember having him?" Luan:[puts the couch down] "At the last diner. I ordered a wood-fired pizza, and I'll never forget the look he gave me." [enters the driver's den] "We have to turn back!" Lynn Sr.: "Oh, jeez, sweetie, that... that diner is 50 miles in the other direction--" Luan: "Dad, he's a member of the family!" Lynn Sr.:[changes his mind] "No Loud left behind!" [sharply U-turns and heads back in the other direction]
[Camperzilla returns to the Greasy Spoon Diner, the last restaurant Rita had reviewed for her article. Luan kicks the restaurant's door open] Luan: "Everybody, freeze!" [The patrons all stop what they're doing as the other Louds enter] "Has anyone seen a short man with a wooden body, and even more wooden punchlines?" [The patrons have no reaction as some contents of a man's hoagie fall out of it, and resume their business.] "Looks like we'll just have to tear this place apart." [The kids, save Lily who is in Rita's arms, all rush into the restaurant.] Rita: "Kids, you know she means that figuratively, right?" [A chair is then thrown in her direction, meaning Luan does mean that literally. Lynn lifts up a stool, with a biker sitting on it, and looks under. She puts it down.] Lynn: "All clear here." [dashes off] [Leni is at the service window and looks under trays of people's orders of food, and then tossing them aside the second a chef puts them out. She looks over and notices Lori has her face covered in a burger's contents.] Leni:[not knowing it's Lori] "Oops. Excuse me, sir? Have you seen Mr. Coconuts?" Lori:[annoyed] "Ugh." [A waitress walks by, carrying a bucket of dirty dishes. Lily surfaces from the bucket, a tin bowl on her head and holding a spoon in one hand. much to the waitress' unexpectance.] Lily:[holds up a plate in the other hand] "Bah." [Lincoln and Luan search near a trucker, who is looking at them confusedly while sipping his drink.] Luan: "Hmm..." [Lincoln then inspects another biker that is about to take a bite of his burger. The biker notices and moves his burger away from Lincoln. Lynn pops up and steals a bite of the burger, catching the biker off guard.] Lynn: "No puppet meat in these burgers." [The waitress from before is now watching TV. Lisa approaches as the waitress channel surfs from The Dream Boat, and Vampires of Melancholia, before switching to footage of a security camera, the camera pointing at Lisa.] Lisa:[gasps] "Eureka." [waves] "A security camera." Luan:[steps in] "Ma'am, we have to see today's security tapes. It's an emergency." [The waitress shrugs and hands Lisa the remote before walking off. Lisa changes the channel to another camera showing outside footage of a person wearing a fedora and a trench coat, walking to his car. The person also has Mr. Coconuts.] Luan:[gasps] "There he is! I didn't lose Mr. Coconuts. He was... puppet-napped!" [Lisa goes through the cameras' angles to find a close-up shot of a bumper sticker reading, "DUST IS A MUST".] Lisa: "'Dust is a must'?" [looks at her phone and gasps] "Aha! It appears that bumper sticker refers to the slogan for Dusty Springs, a small town just southwest from here." Luan: "So, if we find the town, we'll find Mr. Coconuts." Lola: "Ugh, this is gonna be our whole day, isn't it?" [Luan and Lisa look at Lola after a beat.]
[Later, Camperzilla pulls up to Dusty Springs. A sign advertises it as the world's 34th largest spring, referring to a literal uncoiled spring placed on a pedestal.] Rita: "This is certainly off the beaten path." Luan:[looking left and right at her parents.] "It’s time to spring into action and save Mr. C!" [The Louds hop out of Camperzilla, walking toward the 34th Largest Spring, with her leading the way. She hops onto the spring.] "Okay, here’s the plan." [jumps off the spring] "We’re gonna knock on every dusty door and look under every dusty rock. We are not leaving until we find him. Here, these posters from our recent gig at the Chuckle Condo will help the locals identify him." [hands the posters to Lola, who takes one and passes it on, taking a look at the poster.] "Now, let’s get to work." [In a nearby home, someone looks through their window, looking and hearing the plan Luan has told her family, heavily breathing at the same time.]
[The Louds start to hand out the posters to the people living where the 34th Largest Spring is, including Lynn and Lincoln giving a poster to an elderly couple, who shake their heads as in no, while Luan gives a poster to a sheriff, as he shakes his head no, then he shows the poster to a bandit he tied up, and he shakes his head no as well. Soon, the Louds find a hippie and ask him about Mr. Coconuts, Luan showing him the poster.] Hippie: "Yeah, he looks familiar. His aura is near, but I sense distress." Luan: "Oh, no!" [Meanwhile, the puppet-napper breaks into the driver's den in Camperzilla and releases the parking brake.] "What are we going to do?" [Camperzilla is seen passing by the Louds.] Lynn Sr.: "Ah, dang it! I must have forgotten the emergency brake!" [The Louds chase after the RV, panting heavily as Lynn Jr. takes a lasso.] Lincoln: "It’s headed for that gulch!" [Camperzilla crashes into the stop signs, heading for the gulch.] Lynn: "Oh, no, it's not!" [throws the lasso towards the back of the Camperzilla, securing the handle.] "Yoink!" [Lynn slides on the ground, still holding on to the rope. The family spots her, and grabs ahold of her, sliding on the ground as well. They successfully stop the RV in the process. The Louds sigh in relief, before walking to the back of the RV and find something that surprises them. The back window has been vandalized with a message reading, "STAY AWAY!".] Leni: "'Stay away'?" [starts to move Lori and Luna along] "Come on, guys. The RV totes needs some alone time." Luan: "No, Leni." [walks closer to the RV] "This is a warning from the puppet-napper. He knows we're here, and he wants to keep us from finding Mr. Coconuts. We must be close." Lisa:[looking through a pair of binoculars] "Close, indeed." [The Louds see a car speeding by, Through the binoculars' view, Lisa finds the same bumper sticker from the security footage. It is the puppet-napper's car. The family gasps in shock.] Luan: "Don't worry, Mr. Coconuts! We're coming to save you!" [The Louds climb into Camperzilla.]
[The chase is on. Lisa is in the driver's den with her parents, looking through her binoculars to find the puppet-napper driving towards a barn.] Lisa: "He's heading towards that barn." [Lynn Sr. determinedly revs the engine of the RV, going faster, and they stop at the barn.] Luan: "We've got him cornered. Come on, you guys!" [The Louds get out of Camperzilla. Luan throws open the barn doors and they look inside.] Lucy: "On a creep scale of one to ten, I'd call this a nine." [Indeed, the interior is dark and desolate, filled with creepy dolls and puppets and menacing tools.] "Correction: 900." [The Louds head deeper into the barn, when a marionette comes down and starts playing his banjo.] Luna: "Banjo solo. Never a good sign, dudes." [Spotlights turn on and illuminate a series of marionettes on strings that start moving, causing the Louds to gasp. Another spotlight shows the heads of a bear, chicken, fox, and bunny, which also start moving.] Chicken Head: "Stay away!" Fox Head: "Leave!" Bear Head: "Get out!" Bunny Head: "This is your last chance!' [Luan looks up and see the marionettes are puppeteered by the puppet-napper.] Luan: "It's him! Nice try, puppet-napper, but it'll take more than a few marionettes to scare us away!" [Creepy laughter is heard, and more marionettes surround the Louds.] Lola: "Speak for yourself, Luan!" [The marionettes tie up the Louds, and the puppet-napper slides down the strings, pushing up the Louds before making a getaway.] Puppet-napper: "Sorry, large family. This isn't personal." [leaves and slams the doors] Rita: "Yes. It. Is. Nobody ties up my family in a dusty barn. Good thing Lily's teething." [holds up Lily] "Go to work, sweetie." [Lily nods, and then chomps the ropes binding the Louds together, releasing them and dropping them into a haystack.] "Lynn, give me the keys to the RV."
[Rita is driving Camperzila and chasing the puppet-napper.] Rita: "You're mine, puppet-napper!" [puts the pedal to the metal] [Luan is riding shotgun and tracking the puppet-napper via binoculars.] Luan: "Mom, there's his car!" [Rita closes in on the puppet-napper, who has Mr. Coconuts in the shotgun seat. Seeing Camperzilla closing in, the puppet-napper makes a sharp turn to the left off-road into the dirt, and Camperzilla follows suit. The dust generated by the puppet-napper's car is obscuring Rita's vision.] Rita: "I don't have a visual!" [brakes hard] [The puppet-napper makes a getaway on the road, far from the Louds' view.] Luan: "He's too far away! We'll never catch up now!" Lisa:[enters the drivers' den] "Inaccurate. We still have one more trick up our proverbial sleeves." [gets the remote] "Activate rocket mode!" [She presses the button and deploys Camperzilla's rocket boosters, which roar to life and boost through the desert. It's so fast, it hits a collapsed skeleton, which lands back in the shape of the animal it was in life. Camperzilla zooms past the puppet-napper's car] Luan: "Wait! Go back." [Rita makes a hard U-turn and faces the puppet-napper, activating its headlights. The puppet-napper is blinded and crashes his car on a rock formation, causing one of his tires to roll off. He bursts open his shotgun door, Mr. Coconuts in hand.] Puppet-napper: "You'll never catch me!" [runs off laughing, but trips over a spring and lets go of Mr. Coconuts] "Oh, curse these Dusty Springs' dusty springs." [Luan reclaims Mr. Coconuts and hugs him tight as the rest of the Louds join her.] Luan: "It's over, puppet-napper!" Puppet-napper:[gets up] "Stop calling me that! I could never puppet-nap him, because I'm..." [rips off his trench coat and fedora to reveal that he's the elderly spitting image of Mr. Coconuts] "...his father, Calvin Coconuts." [The Louds look at Mr. Coconuts, then at Calvin, and gasp when they realize who he really is.] Luna:[disturbed] "I had a nightmare about this once." Luan: "I... I don't understand..." Calvin: "Years ago, I, a renowned puppet maker, created Calvin Jr. to look like the most handsome man I know: me." [His eyes roll around, and the Louds could only stare, confused] "Soon we were touring the country as a father-puppet banjo act. It was the perfect life until fate brought us to Royal Woods." [Flashback to around seven years ago. Calvin and Mr. Coconuts are performing a father-puppet banjo act at Tall Timbers Park. When they're done, their act is met with applause, but suddenly, a bird swoops in and snatches Mr. Coconuts. Calvin is quick to be in pursuit.] Flashback Calvin: "Stop! Please stop!" [trips and lands on his face as the bird flies out of his reach] "Mr. Coconuts, come back!" [sheds a single tear] [The bird keeps flying with Mr. Coconuts in its talons when it suddenly runs into a kite, dropping the puppet. The kite is revealed to be flown by an eleven-year-old Lori at the front yard of the Loud House. Meanwhile, a bored eight-year-old Luan is sitting on the front steps when Mr. Coconuts lands right next to her. She notices a note strapped to his rear reading, "HI! I'M MR. COCONUTS!", gasps in joy when she realizes that she's finally got her own friend, and puts him on her hand.] Young Luan: "Well, it's nice to meet you, Mr. Coconuts." Mr. Coconuts: "Likewise, toots." Calvin:[narrating] "I thought I'd never see my boy again, until earlier today." [Flashback to earlier. Calvin walks into the Greasy Spoon and gasps upon seeing Luan and Mr. Coconuts enjoying a milkshake together.] Flashback Luan: "Oh, too much milkshake. BRB, Mr. C." [leaves for the bathroom] Calvin:[narrating] "When I saw him, something came over me, and I just couldn't bear to lose him again, so I did what I had to do." [Calvin swipes Mr. Coconuts and runs off. Back to the present, where he blows his nose in sadness.] Luan: "So all of this means..." [gasps] "Mr. Coconuts was never really mine." [takes one long look at her cherished dummy and makes a decision] "Calvin, I think Mr. Coconuts should stay with you." [Her family gasps.] Lynn Sr.: "Luan, are you sure?" Luan: "Yes. I have to do the right thing." [sniffles and tries to hold back tears] "This is for the best." [The Louds all hug her before she goes over to Calvin and hands Mr. Coconuts back to him. Calvin is quick to kiss Mr. Coconuts.] "Uh, before I go, um, here's his favorite whoopee cushion." [hands the whoopee cushion over] "And his toothbrush. And actually, I have his travel suitcase right here." [places the toothbrush, and the suitcase on the whoopee cushion, making a deflating noise. As she returns to her family, she gives one last smile at Mr. Coconuts.] "Oh, here's looking at you, toots." [She quickly returns to being dejected as she leaves.]
[That night, Leni and Lori enter Camperzilla. Luan is sitting at the dining table as Rita and Lynn Sr. comfort her.] Rita: "I am so proud of you, Luan. I know that wasn't easy." Luan: "Thanks, Mom. I can't believe I'll never see Mr. Coconuts again. I'm gonna miss his jokes, his smile, his pine-fresh scent..." [Suddenly, Calvin and Mr. Coconuts pop up inside Camperzilla.] Mr. Coconuts: "Hey, what about my boyish charm?" [Luan gasps with joy.] Rita:[to Lynn Sr.] "We have to start locking the RV." Calvin:[to Luan] "You left this poster behind," [shows the Chuckle Condo poster] "and it looks like you two have a good thing going." [hands it back to Luan] "I think Calvin Jr. should stay with you." Luan: "Really? You mean it?" Calvin: "Absolutely. I'm retired, and my performing days are behind me, but you two are just getting started. I trust you'll help my boy share his talents with the world, or at least greater Michigan." [He puts Mr. Coconuts back on Luan's hand.] Luan: "Oh, thank you, Mr. Coconuts Sr. You can come visit Mr. C anytime. Oh, and bring your marionettes, too. We have plenty of room." Calvin:[pops up next to Luan] "It's a deal." Lynn Sr.:[raises a finger to object] "Uh..." [Rita puts it down, and he glares at her in disappointment.] Calvin: "Now, what do you think, Junior?" [takes out his old banjo] "One song for old times' sake?" Mr. Coconuts:[takes out his own banjo] "You read my mind, Papa." [They engage in one last banjo performance. Cut to outside Camperzilla.] Lola: "Ugh, this is gonna be our whole night, isn't it?" [The end.]
