The following is a transcript for the episode "Rocket Men".
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Somewhere in the far reaches of the galaxy, a crystal is in the claws of a fish alien.] Captain: "That peace crystal belongs to the people of Galganon, I'll give you one last chance to return it." Fish Alien: "Never." Captain: "Fine, then we'll take it back ourselves. Petra! Fire the photon ray." TV Announcer: "The exciting conclusion of Starship Groupers will be coming up, right after these messages." Lincoln:[Who's watching the show with Clyde.] "Dang it, commercial break." Commercial Announcer: "He-hey, kids," [the TV shows a boy with a jet pack.] "ever wanted to live and train like a real astronaut?" [The boys gasp with intrigue, as some kids on the TV do a moon jump.] "Then we've got the camp for you." [A boy is driving a moon rover.] "The Space Cadets Experience is a week-long sleep-away camp;" [Some girls collecting moon rocks.] "where you'll learn everything about being an astronaut." [Some kids watching a shooting star.] "Ask your parents now if you can join the adventure." Lincoln:[Him and Clyde in awe.] "Wow, that looks so fun. Clyde, we have to go to this camp." Clyde: "Absolutely, I'm gonna go home right now and ask my dads." [Races off, but returns, with tissues.] "Well, after we finish the movie, I always cry when they restore the peace crystal to Galganon."
[Later, Lincoln is wearing his blue suit, and giving a presentation to his parents in the living room.] Lincoln: "...And that's why I really wanna go to the Space Cadets Experience." [Rita and Lynn Sr. look at each other.] Rita: "Uh, sounds great sweetie, but also kind of expensive." Lincoln: "But Mom, when you do the math, it's actually a great value, think about how much money you'll save on food while I'm gone." [This intrigues Rita and Lynn. Meanwhile, at the McBride's residence, Clyde is giving his own presentation.] Clyde: "So I really think this camp will be a good opportunity for me." Howard: "We're glad you're interested in trying new things honey, and, you look so dashing in that suit." Harold: "But it's a whole week away from home, are you sure you're ready?" Clyde: "Yes, Dr. Lopez and I have been working on stepping outside my comfort zone." Harold: "Okay son, if you're sure you can handle it..." [Split screen with Lynn Sr.] Lynn Sr.: "Well Lincoln, if you really wanna go..." Lynn Sr. & Harold: "The answer is yes." [The boys cheer in excitement, do a salute, and walkie talkie each other.] Clyde: "Cadet Lincoln, all systems are go!" Lincoln: "Same here, Cadet Clyde. We have lift off!"
[At the Space Cadets Experience entrance, Lincoln and Clyde are waiting to be let in.] Automated Voice:"FRONT GAME, COMMENCING, OPENING SEQUENCE." [The boys watch with amazement as the gate opens.] Lincoln:[Seeing the camp] "Woah." Clyde: "Ooh." [The camp looks like a playground, with young kids riding on swings that look like airships, a tube slide, and a climbing frame inside a rocket. The boys come in and squeal with excitement.] Tarreyn:[Approaches Lincoln and Clyde.] "Welcome, space cadets! My name's Tarreyn, and I'll be your camp counsellor. Ready for your first activity?" [The boys' nod] "You'll be hunting for moon rocks in real space suits." [Cartwheels off] Lincoln:[Gasps] "Moon rocks!" Clyde: "Space suits!" [They squeal again as they head off. The boys zip up their space suits, and begin jumping around in a low gravity room made to look like the moon, as the Blue Danube Waltz by Johann Strauss II plays in the background. Clyde bumps into a star and floats in mid-air.] Clyde: "Phew, this is a lot more tiring than it looks on TV." [Takes out his inhaler and tries to use it, but he loses his grasp first time and then it bounces off his helmet. Clyde gasps as the inhaler flies out of his hands.] "My inhaler!" Lincoln: "I got it." [Lincoln tries to grab it, but misses, and bumps into Clyde, and they land in some craters.]
[Later, the boys are in the multi-axis trainer.] Clyde: "Alright, human gyroscopes." Lincoln:[To the operator of the machine.] "Eh, just so you know, we're like pro thrill-seekers, so don't be afraid to turn it up to eleven." [The guy shrugs, does so and starts texting. Lincoln and Clyde are spun on all three axes of rotation.] "This is a little more intense than I thought it'd be!" Clyde:[Getting the snot spun out of his nose.] "Same here!" [To the operator.] "Could you please take it down to a nine?!" [The guy presses a button, but accidentally makes it go faster. The boys scream louder and a skull and crossbones are seen in the whirlwind.] Male Counsellor:[Realizing his mistake and presses another button, turning it off.] "Whoops, wrong button, sorry dudes." [He presses another button. The cadets are ejected from their gyroscopes, falling to the ground face-first. They are now dazed and nauseous.] Clyde:[Trembling in sickness] "Where's the little astronaut's room? [Lincoln runs off] We'd like to freshen up." [In the restroom, Clyde splashes some water into his face and turns off the sink.] Lincoln:[Inside the stall] "Woah, Clyde, you gotta see this," [Opens the stall] "check it out." [A futuristic-looking toilet is shown, shining in all its glory.] Clyde:[Amazed] "Wow, a real life space toilet." Lincoln: "I wonder how you flush it?" Clyde: "Oh, I think it's this handle." [Clyde uses the handle. A current sucks his foot into the toilet. He spins around at blinding speed.] "Ah! Help, the space toilet's got me!" Lincoln:[Grabs Clyde's head and tries to help him out] "I got you!" [Lincoln manages to pull Clyde out of the toilet and the boys tumble out of the stall. Lincoln lands face first while Clyde hits his backside on the opposite wall. The latter looks at his right foot, and notices one of his shoes is missing.] Clyde: "It ate my loafer."
[He blinks as a droplet falls from his foot to his glasses.]
[Later, in the cafeteria, the two boys are holding trays with glasses of milk.] Clyde: "How excited are you for our first space dinner?" [The server puts gelatinous green stuff on Lincoln's tray. Lincoln is disgusted.] Lincoln: "Maybe a little less excited now." [The boys go to a table.] "Well, there's no way it can taste as bad as it looks." [The boys try it, and spit it out. They both cough.] "Wow, [Clyde shivers] I was so, so wrong." Clyde:[Sighs] "This is honestly one of the most disappointing moments in my life."
[Just then, the girls sitting next to them start talking.] Girl #1: "I'm having a blast. Can you believe in less than twenty-four hours, it'll be our turn in the flight simulator?" Lincoln: "Flight simulator? That sounds cool." Girl #2: "It's the most intense activity at camp." Girl #1: "Yeah, some kids went on it today, and three of them passed out." [The boys become nervous] "So hardcore, I can't wait." [The girls squeal with excitement, and the boys gulp with fear.]
[That night, the boys are in sleeping bags.] Lincoln: "Okay, there's no denying it. Camp is horrible! We can't stay here." Clyde: "And we definitely can't face the flight simulator." Lincoln: "We have to ask our parents to come and get us." [Clyde nods. They open their sleeping bags, and fall upwards to the ground. The sleeping bags are revealed to be hanging upside down.] "Man, I hate these space sleeping bags." [One kid hushes them. The boys step outside their cabin which looks like a spacecraft and call their parents. The door closes behind them.] Clyde: "Hey Dads, I'm just calling to..." Lincoln: "Hi, Mom and Dad. I have something I need to tell you." Lincoln & Clyde: "Camp is awful. I wanna come home." Rita: "Awe, I'm surprised to hear that. You sounded so excited about it." Harold: "But it sounded like something you would love." [Their husbands join the conversations.] Lincoln: "It's just not anything like I thought it would be." Clyde: "Turns out, it's not fun at all." Lynn Sr.: "I'm sorry to hear that, buddy." Howard: "It's a real shame." Rita: "But your dad and I think you need to give camp more of a chance." Harold: "You should spend more time there before giving up on it." Lynn Sr.: "I'll bet if you stick it out, you might even find you like it." Lincoln: "I'll give it more time. Night, Mom and Dad." Clyde: "Bye Dads." [They all hang up, and the boys sigh.] "Well, I'm stuck here. Lincoln: "Me too. Our parents don't get how bad camp is, and it's only going to get worse." Clyde: "I can't do that flight simulator, Lincoln." [Shakes his head in fear] "I won't survive it!" Lincoln:[Determined] "Well, there's only one thing to do; we have to escape. We can take a bus to Liam's and hide out in his barn for the rest of the week." Clyde:[Flops down] "That plan's completely nuts, [Gets up confidently] and I'm totally in!" [They fist bump.]
[Later, they are wearing camouflage, and sneaking around.] Lincoln: "The front gate's the only break in the fence; that's our way out. How'd you know to bring camouflage?" Clyde: "I pack for every occasion, and yet I forgot my backup loafers." [They get to the front gate.] Lincoln:[Looking at the control panel.] "Uh..." [Presses a button, and nothing happens.] "Hmm, maybe it's a different button." [Lincoln tries another button, which sets of green light and an alarm.] "Whoops! Not that one." [Tries another one.] Clyde: "Not that one either! Turn it off! Turn it off!" [Just then, Tarreyn comes up and turns it off.] Tarreyn: "Cadet Clyde, Cadet Lincoln, what's going on?" Lincoln: "Uh, we're looking for our cabin. Got lost on the way back from the, uh, little astronaut's room." Tarreyn: "Wow, you guys got really turned around. Come on. I'll show you." [They all walk off. On the way, Lincoln notices something.] Lincoln: "Hey Tarreyn, what's that?" [Points to a vehicle.] Tarreyn: "That's the moon rover. You guys will get to take it for a spin on day three." Lincoln:[Whispers to Clyde] "We could use that to crash through the front gate." [They get to the cabins.] Tarreyn: "Here's your cabin," [gives them a map.] "and a map so you don't get lost next time." Lincoln: "Thank you." [Tarreyn cartwheels away, and Lincoln crumples the map.] "There won't be a next time, cause we're gettin' out of here." [Fist bumps Clyde, and tosses the map towards the trash, but misses.] "Dang it." [Picks it up and puts it in the trash.]
[Later, the boys sneak up to the rover, and hop in.] Lincoln: "We'll be gone before anyone realizes we're missing. Buckle up, Clyde." [Lincoln puts the pedal down. The rover travels very slowly to Clyde's annoyance.] Clyde: "Floor it, Lincoln." Lincoln: "It's already floored." [Clyde groans and Tarreyn walks up to them.] Tarreyn: "Uh, what are you guys doing?" Clyde: "We... were just so excited to drive the moon rover, we couldn't wait." Tarreyn:[Stops the rover with one foot] "I get that, but, it's the middle of the night. Come on. Back to your cabin." Clyde: "Can you, uh, point us in the right direction? We don't have the map."
[Back at the cabin, the boys are looking at the map more thoroughly.] Lincoln: "Okay, back to square one." [Sees a building on the map.] "Hey, check out this recycling building at the edge of camp." Clyde: "Wow, their commitment to recycling is very impressive." [Brief silence, then Clyde realizes something.] "Oh, I see. The back door lets out into the forest." Lincoln:[Grabs his bag] "Let's go."
[The boys arrive outside a building.] Lincoln: "This is the place." [Works on the panel, while Clyde covers his ears; the door opens.] "We're almost free." [The boys enter the building, it's very dark inside, Lincoln trips over his own feet.] Lincoln: "Oof!" Clyde: "Hang on. I think I found the light switch. [The lights come on.] Lincoln: "Whoa, even the recycling building is space themed." [Suddenly, the room turns on.] Automated Voice:"WELCOME, TO THE FLIGHT SIMULATOR." Lincoln:[In fear] "Whaaat?" Clyde: "We really need to work on our map reading skills." Lincoln: "Let's get out of here before it starts." [The boys try to escape by forcing the door open, but it stays closed.] Automated Voice:"DOOR LOCKS, ENGAGED. PREPARING FOR TAKE OFF. PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS[Seeing no other option, the boys hurry into their seats and buckle up, sweating heavily. They also grab a steering wheel. The male counsellor, not even looking up from his phone, turns the simulator on.]COMMENCING COUNTDOWN:"[The simulator rises up.]"3, 2, 1, BLAST OFF." Lincoln & Clyde:"WOAH!" [They are thrown back into their seats by the G-force.] Automated Voice:"YOUR TASK IS TO SAFELY NAVIGATE THROUGH THE ASTEROID FIELD. OR YOUR SHIP WILL BE DESTROYED." [The boys freak out when they see the asteroids and grab the steering wheels.] Lincoln: "Right! Left! Right! Oh no, sharp left, sharp left!" [They swerve, but the asteroid hits them.] Automated Voice:"DIRECT IMPACT! SEVERE DAMAGE TO CORE. LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEM WILL SHUT DOWN, UNLESS IT'S REPAIRED." Clyde: "How are we supposed to do that?!" Automated Voice:"PUT ON YOUR SPACESUITS AND EXIT THE SHIP. LOCATE THE BLINKING PANEL. DISABLE IT BEFORE TIME EXPIRES TO COMPLETE THE MISSION." Lincoln: "Okay Clyde, we can do this." Automated Voice:"60 SECONDS REMAINING. 59, 58, 57, 56..." [The boys disengage their seat belts and put on their space suits. They look out the shuttle.] Lincoln: "There it is! The control panel!" [The boys go to it.] Automated voice:"...20, 19, 18..." [Clyde starts spinning out of control as Lincoln breaststrokes.] Lincoln: "Cadet Clyde, initiate code leapfrog!" Clyde: "Roger that." [Lincoln leaps off Clyde's back to gain speed, and pulls Clyde's cord to bring him along.] Automated Voice:"...3, 2, 1."[The boys flip the switches. The red lights turn green and the boys celebrate their victory.] Lincoln & Clyde: "Woo-hoo! We did it!" Automated Voice:"MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. DEACTIVATING ZERO GRAVITY." [The boys realize, and scream as they fall. They are now dangling by their cords. The camera zooms out. The two boys appear very small, lonely and a long way from the ground in a large room.] Lincoln: "Uh, can somebody help us get down now? Please?" Male Counsellor: "Huh?" [Sees them on the monitor] "Oh, be right there." [Goes off][Later, the boys exit the simulator, full of pride.] Clyde: "The part where you leapt off the side of the ship, that was crazy!" Lincoln: "I can't wait for tomorrow when they let us try out the jet packs." Tarreyn:[Walks up to them] "Hey, Cadets Lincoln and Clyde, [Grows sad] your parents just called to say they're coming to get you, they should be here soon. [Starts sobbing] I... I'm so sorry camp wasn't right for you." [Tarreyn tears up, and leaves. The boys are sad now too, and take off their helmets.] Lincoln: "Aww man. I was actually starting to like it here." Clyde: "Me too, but I guess we have to leave." [They sigh, and walk off.]
[Early morning, outside the entrance to the camp, the boys despondently wait.] Howard:[As he and Harold run up and hug Clyde.] "Oh, my baby! Are you okay?! We're so sorry for leaving you here!" Rita:[As she and Lynn Sr. calmly walk up to them.] "Hi boys." Lincoln: "Hi Mom, hi Dad." Rita: "We had a parent huddle and realized we never should have made you stay." Lincoln: "Actually, you guys were right. After a little more time, we realized we like camp. We shouldn't have given up so quickly." Clyde: "Yeah. And to be honest, now we're sad to leave." [They take their bags.] Lincoln: "But we asked you to come, and you drove a long way to get us, so..." Rita: "Sweetie, don't worry about us. If you wanna stay you can stay." Lincoln: "Really? Are you sure?" Howard: "Yes, we're proud of you. It seems like you both learned an important lesson about sticking things out." Lynn Sr.: "Plus, we passed a twenty-four-hour pancake house, that I would not mind trying on the way back." Harold: "That sounds mighty delish." [The parents hug their sons and take off.] Howard: "Have a great rest of your week, cadets. We'll see you Saturday." Clyde:[In unison] "Bye Dads! Lincoln:[In unison] "Bye guys!" Clyde: "Woo-hoo!" Lincoln: "Woo-hoo!" [The boys celebrate getting to stay, then Clyde looks at his foot and realizes something. He calls his parents.] Clyde: "Dads, wait!" [Runs after them] "Do you have any backup loafers?"
