[Waltz music is playing at the McBride's residence. Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti are dancing together, as are Howard and Harold]
Harold: [Calls Clyde] "Hurry, Clyde! You're missing Waltz Night." [Dips Howard] "It's your turn to choose what's up next."
Clyde: [Approaches his dads wearing a foam finger and cap] "Actually, I'm really sorry, Dads. But, I have to miss our weekly Waltz Night. I'm going to the school football game with Lincoln and the gang. I hope that's okay."
Harold: "Yeah, of course. Go have fun with your friends."
Howard: "Go, Kangaroos! Hope they dunk a lot of home runs."
Clyde: "Thanks, dads." [Sets off] "I love you guys!"
[Clyde exits the house. Howard and Harold look at each other and drop, sighing]
Harold: "Howie, we're losing our baby. Ever since Clyde started middle school, he's been spending more time with his friends and less with us."
Howard: "Oh, believe me, I know." [Picks up a photo of Clyde] "Before long, he'll be off to an ivy league college, marry a chiropractor, become a world-renowned pastry chef, and move to Bordeaux and we will never see him." [Starts hyperventilating into a paper bag, then dials his phone] "I'm calling Dr. Lopez. This is an emergency."
Harold: [Gasps] "That won't be necessary. If we want to see more of Clyde, we just need to convince him and his friends to hang out here. And I know just how to do it."
[Howard is intrigued]
[The next day, at the McBride's, Clyde's friends ring the doorbell. Clyde answers]
Lincoln: "Hey, Clyde. All set to go?"
[Something offscreen catches everyone's attention. Clyde's dads approach the gang, wearing togas]
Howard: "Are you all sure you don't wanna hang out here tonight?"
Zach: "Uh, for a pyjama party?"
Harold: [Laughs] "No, we're recreating our favourite renaissance paintings. Fun, right? Here's a photo from last time we did it."
[Shows the gang a photo of them recreating The Creation of Adam. The gang just finds it weird]
Howard: "So, are you kids in?"
Clyde: "Uhhh... sorry, dads, but we already made plans to go to a new zombie-themed cafe, [Shows a creepy pose] The Un-dead Diner."
Zach: "The first fifty customers get a free brain burrito."
[The kids leave]
Stella: "Thanks for the offer though. Maybe another time." [Leaves]
Rusty: "It's too bad, I look pretty sweet in a toga. Shows off my quads."
[Howard closes the door on Rusty]
Harold: [Takes the chaplet off] "Of course they don't wanna recreate renaissance paintings. They're probably more into surrealism."
Howard: "Face it Hare-bear, we're totally out of touch with what kids like. If we want to persuade them to hang out here, we have to do some research."
Harold: [Gets an idea] "Oh, we can check out the places they usually go. We'll just make sure they can't see us."
Howard: "Great idea Hare-bear. Well, we know they go to Gus' after school, so let me check their hours on the website."
[Looks at his phone and scrolls the page. Meanwhile, Harold takes his phone out and finds the hours instantly]
Harold: "They open up at eleven tomorrow."
Howard: [Hugs Harold] "Never leave me!"
[The next day, Howard and Harold are checking out Gus' Games & Grub]
Howard: [Playing Dance Battle] "These games are a blast. And a great workout."
Harold: [Riding the flight simulator] "Yeah, no wonder why Clyde and his friends like it here so much." [The planes land] "Look, Howard! I'm a top gun!"
Errol: [Approaches] "Um, you have to put a token in the slot to start this game."
Harold: "Oh, right."
[Suddenly, the door chimes go off and some familiar voices are heard entering. Harold looks and gasps. Clyde and the gang enter]
Clyde: [To Lincoln] "You're not faster than me."
Harold: "Howie! Clyde's here!"
[Howard gasps and dives next to Harold. He pulls Harold out of the machine and they crash offscreen. The gang doesn't see them and just sit in their favourite booth]
Clyde: "Boy am I starving."
Stella: "I have a crazy craving for spaghetti pizza."
Howard: "They're out of school already?"
Harold: "How did we lose track of time? Come on, we can't let them see us."
[They run in the opposite direction, past the ice bar, where Gus is carrying a refill tub of ice. He looks as Harold runs past him, and neither he nor Howard see as Howard crashes into him. Gus spills the ice and falls onto the bar. And his ice sculpture falls on him and breaks. Gus sees and is sad]
Howard: [Sees what he did] "Sorry. Take this for the damage." [Gives Gus a wad of cash] "And here's the card for my ice sculpture repair guy."
[Gives Gus a business card]
[Later, Clyde and the gang are at Flip's Food & Fuel, drinking flippees, unaware that a pair of binoculars is being aimed at them from the bushes, more specifically aimed at Clyde]
Harold: "Aha, they're drinking flippees." [The gang walks off] "Come on, the coast is clear."
Howard: "Ooh, I love all this spy lingo." [Suddenly, they hear barking. A dog approaches the bush they're hiding in, sniffs, and raises its back leg. Howard and Harold don't like where this is going] "Shoo! Shoo!" [Meanwhile, Clyde thinks he hears something, he looks around. Howard is still swatting at the dog] "Shoo!" [Harold looks and sees Clyde is suspicious, he covers Howard's mouth and they sink into the bush. Clyde looks at the bush but doesn't see anything unusual. He shrugs it off and goes back to his friends. Howard and Harold enter Flip's. To Flip] "Two cherry flippees, please."
Flip: "You got hands, don't ‘cha?"
[Points to the flippee machine. Harold gets a cherry flippee followed by Howard. They look at each other and drink]
Harold: [Disgusted] "Ugh, it's like some kind of, synthetic slimy fruit paste."
Howard: [Get a brain freeze] "Oh, brain freeze." [Falls over like a stick, Harold catches him]
Flip: [Kind of offended] "Hey, flippees are loaded with real artificial cherry-ish flavour."
Howard: "We need to triple Clyde's veggie intake, ASAP." [Takes out his phone] "I'll adjust his hourly food chart."
Harold: [To Flip] "We're doing research on what our son, Clyde, and his friends like. Is there anything else we should buy?" [Flip's eyes turn to dollar signs] "Uh, Flip?"
Flip: [Shakes his head quickly and grabs a shopping cart] "Oh, yeah!" [Takes Harold into the aisles and starts throwing things into the cart] "Ah, kids also like those magazines, and this tire pump, and some gauze pads and pretty much everything in aisle five."
[Pushes Harold to aisle five. He returns to the register and prepares to wring the McBrides up. Harold arrives with a cart full of stuff. Flip starts the check out]
Harold: "Um, do you rent out that machine?" [Points to the flippee machine, which coughs and drips.]
Flip: "I'll rent you anything you need, pal. Well, except for my new assistant."
[Points at a raccoon bagging everything]
Howard: [To Harold] "Wait, you really wanna rent that thing?"
Harold: "Isn't it worth it if we can get Clyde and friends to hang out at our house?"
Howard: "Hmm, I suppose. As long as I never have to drink a flippee again. No offence, Flip."
Flip: "None taken, chief." [The McBride's leave with the stuff they bought, and the flippee machine. Flip and the raccoon wave goodbye to the; Angrily to the raccoon] "Next time don't double bag, Nacho, you're costin' me money."
[Nacho snarls at Flip and goes into the trashcan]
[That night at the McBride's, Clyde opens the door as he and his friends are about to leave]
Howard: [Enticingly] "Before you kids head out to the mall, there's something we wanna show you."
[The dads take the kids out to the backyard, Clyde gasps, followed by his friends, as they see all their favourite things]
Clyde: "Flippees? Food from Gus'? What's all this for?"
Rusty: "Ah, crud, did I forget your birthday again?"
Harold: "Oh there's no occasion. You know us, we just like to mix things up and have a little fun."
[Everyone enters the backyard]
Lincoln: [Gasps] "It's all our favourite things, in one place."
Zach: [Suspicious] "It's like you guys got into our brains and figured out all the things we liked. You're not following us around and spying on us, are you?"
[Howard & Harold laugh this off]
Harold: "Good one, mister, your conspiracy theories are adorable."
Liam: "Forget the mall, y'all! I say we hang out here tonight."
Lincoln: "Yeah."
Stella: "Let's stay here."
Rusty: "Dibs on the garlic knots."
Clyde: "Who wants to challenge me on a dance battle?"
Howard: "I do."
[The gang runs to get their night started. The dads high five and join]
[At the end of the night, Clyde's friends leave with gift bags]
Harold: "Okay, gang, enjoy your party favours."
[The gang looks in their bags]
Stella: "Ooh, extra garlic knots." [Eats it]
Zach: "Oh, Rip Hardcore temporary tattoos."
Rusty: "I got… a tire pump?"
Howard: "So since tonight was so fun, what do you kids say we do this again, tomorrow night?"
Clyde: "Oh, sorry, we already made plans to go to the movies."
Harold: "Okay, how about the night after?"
Stella: "We can't, we're going roller skating that night."
[The gang starts to leave]
Zach: "But it was great seeing you guys."
Liam: "Yup, y'all take care now."
[The gang leaves and Clyde goes back inside]
Howard: "We just got our baby back and now we're gonna lose him again!"
Harold: "We've got to figure a way to get the kids to hang out here again." [Gets an idea] "Oh, and I've got a new plan."
[Th next night, the gang is back at the McBride's]
Howard: [As he and Harold lead the gang outside again] "So I was saying to your dad during pilates… Harold, why should we go out to a movie tonight when we can watch one, right here?"
[The kids gasp as Howard gestures to a giant inflatable movie screen]
Clyde: "Impressive."
Howard: "We're watching The Brain Eaters of Oklahoma."
Clyde: "Wow, I'm shocked that you two are into horror movies."
Harold: "Oh, we love them."
Howard: "The gorier the better."
Stella: "Cool, can we hang out and watch with you guys?"
Harold: [He and Howard acting like that wasn't their intention] "Oh, I don't see why not. Our ushers can show you to your seats."
[Claps for said ushers. Who are Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti wearing bowties. The cats go over to the seating area, the kids follow after them. Later, they are all watching the movie, something horrific is shown]
Rusty: "Ew, is that his brain?"
Zach: [Unaffected] "Rusty, pay attention, that's clearly his face. See? He's chewing on his lips."
[Rusty is horrified and covers his eyes. Meanwhile, Cleopawtra and Nepurrtiti are eating popcorn next to Howard and Harold, who are holding each other, shaking]
Harold: "As long as we're spending time with Clyde…" [Shakes] "It's all worth it."
Zombie: "Hey, save some of the face for me."
[Howard and Harold pass out, the cats run away]
[The next night, disco music is playing. Scoot's boyfriend Tyler puts the record on his DJ booth, which is in the McBride's entertainment room. As are Clyde and the gang roller skating on a wooden floor mat]
Clyde: [Skates up to his dads] "You were right, dads, rollerskating at our house is way more fun than the rink in town."
Lincoln: "Yeah, and it doesn't smell like sweat and feet."
Harold: "We're just happy that you kids are enjoying yourselves."
Rusty: [Offscreen] "Hey, guys…" [Doing a handstand on his skates] "Check this out." [Bumps into a vase, Howard catches it before it drops, but stumbles into a cabinet with two more vases, which Harold catches. They are relieved, until Rusty skates into them and they crash offscreen] "I'm alright, I don't know if your vase is though."
[Howard sighs]
[The next day, Howard and Harold are repairing the shattered vase. Clyde walks past them with his swimming outfit on]
Harold: "Oh, where are you off to, pumpkin?"
Clyde: "I'm meeting the gang at the water park. Rusty's cousin, Derek, is an assistant towel boy, and he's gonna get us into the new tidal wave pool."
[Harold groans, followed by Howard]
[Later, a beachball is floating in water]
Clyde: "Cannonball!" [Clyde lands in the water, he laughs, Stella, Zach, Lincoln and Liam float up to him] "This is the best waterpark ever!"
[They are swimming in what is revealed to be the McBride's backyard, which has been completely flooded by Harold from the fire hydrant outside their house. The gang cheers. Rusty does a cannonball from off the roof and dives past the backdoor. Howard walks past the door from inside and doesn't like what he sees]
Howard: [Gasps] "Hare-bear it's leaking into the house."
Harold: [Realizes and tries to shut the hose off] "No, no, no, no, I, I can't turn it off."
[Suddenly a big gush comes out of the hose and Harold falls in. Howard tries to block the leak with his hands, but the water smashes the glass and the entire house gets flooded. The gang rides their floater up to Howard and Harold, laughing and cheering]
Clyde: [Sees his dads] "You guys okay?"
Howard: "Oh, just went for a little dip." [Laughs]
Harold: "Hang ten, surfs up."
[The dads pass out again]
[Later, Howard is putting blackout shades over the broken glass door]
Clyde: [Offscreen] "No way! I'm definitely in. Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, bud." [Hangs up his phone]
Howard: "So, what's the big plan, kiddo?"
Clyde: "The gang and I are going to a building demolition tomorrow. They're knocking down the old froyo place to build a new froyo place. I'm more interested in the permit battle but the demolition will be fun too."
[Howard and Harold look at each other]
Harold: "Oh, that sound's exciting."
[The two parents don't like where this is going]
Clyde: "Yeah! I can't wait."
[Walks off. Once he's gone, Howard and Harold look at each other thinking the same thing]
Harold: "We need to demolish our house."
[Howard agrees and they take out their phones]
Howard: "We did wanna remodel anyway. But, where are we gonna rent a wrecking ball?"
[The next day, Howard and Harold lead the gang outside the front door and they gasp at what they see. Flip drives a wrecking ball up to the house, crushing the bushes]
Clyde: "What's going on?"
Harold: "We're just knocking down the house. Fun, right?"
Clyde: [Horrified] "Wait, what?!"
Howard: "Do you and your friends wanna stay and watch? I made kettle corn."
[Clyde chokes on his words and goes over to the crane. Clyde turns the crane off]
Clyde: "Okay, McBride family meeting!" [Jumps down from the crane, his dads join him] "This is bonkers. What's going on with you two? A roller rink? A water park? Letting Rusty use your vintage bidet? And now a wrecking ball?" [Flip shrugs] "Are you really gonna ruin our beautiful mid-century home that was once featured in Modern Michigan magazine?"
[Howard and Harold look at each other, and at their beautiful home]
Howard: [Gasps] "What are we thinking?!"
Harold: "You're right, son. Your father and I have gone off the deep end."
Clyde: "I don't understand, why?"
Howard: "You've been spending so much time with your friends lately and… we were scared of losing you."
Clyde: "That's what all this is about?"
Harold: "Yes, but we're just going to have to accept that this is part of life. You are growing up. And we can't stop time."
Clyde:" Guys, I'll always want to spend time with you. You're the best dads in the world. In fact, I'd love to join you for Family Waltz Night."
[Howard and Harold are touched by this]
Harold: "We'd love that."
[Family hug]
Howard: "Can we dress up?"
[Clyde agrees and they continue their hug. The gang is also touched]
Rusty: "It's just so beautiful."
[Lincon comforts Rusty. The McBrides end their hug]
Harold: "Dr. Lopez will be so proud of us, we really broke down some walls here."
Flip: [Still behind the wrecking ball, turns it back on] "Break down the wall? You got it, chief."
[Flip proceeds forward]
McBrides: "No! Flip! Stop!"
[Flip doesn't hear them, and swings. And breaks a hole in the wall. Everyone runs up and gasps]
Harold: "Well, we always said we wanted more natural light."
[Howard passes out again]
