The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount Skydance and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[Breakfast time at the Loud House. Lynn Sr. serves pancakes in front of Lily.] Lucy: "Save some for me." Lynn: "Yum yum yum yum yum! Oh! Dibs on the one that looks like Lily!" [takes the Lily-shaped pancake] Lana: "Hey, no fair! I wanted the Lily one!" [Lily looks annoyed as Lynn laughs and eats the Lily-shaped pancake.] Leni:[takes the rest of the pancakes] "I guess I'll just help myself." [Suddenly, Lincoln shoves Lisa out of her seat and then covers the pancakes with a cloth.] Lincoln: "Now you see them..." [removes the cloth, revealing the pancakes are gone] "Now you don't! Shazam!" Leni:[stares in shock] "Thanks! That was delicious!" [As Leni leaves her seat, humming, Lincoln reveals he had actually taken the pancakes while she wasn't looking.] Lincoln: "Dang it, Leni! Wait, I wasn't done with my act!" Leni: "But why am I still hungry?" Lincoln:[throws a smoke bomb in front of Leni] "I hope you’re ready for more magic! The middle school talent school is this week and I need to keep practicing." [He throws another smoke bomb. When it dissipates, his clothes are gone. Leni gasps in shock; he looks down, realizes he's in his underwear, and throws another smoke bomb to get back in his clothes. Leni can only stare in confusion. Back at the table, he takes an egg out of Lucy's hair] Lincoln: "Ta-da!" Lucy: "Surprised gasp!" Lola: "Hey, Houdini! Where are the pancakes?!" [Shows the empty plate] Lincoln: "It wasn't me that time!" [A sudden thud shakes the table. They look under the table and find Lana eating the pancakes.] Lana: "Lincoln's not the only one who can make stuff disappear."
[Royal Woods Middle School. Lincoln's friends are playing dodgeball.] Rusty: "Not the face, not the face!" Stella: "Oh, guys! The talent show's this Friday and we still haven't figured out our act! This is our big chance to show the school how cool we are." [gets hit by a dodgeball] Clyde: "Well, what's cool? Barbershop quartet? Tap-dancing? Glass-blowing? Augh, there's too many options!" [gets hit by a dodgeball] Liam: "Tell ya what, nothing's cooler than rodeo!" [gets hit by a dodgeball] Rusty: "No can do, dawg. I cannot have a bull kick me in the moneymaker." [gets hit by a dodgeball] Zach: “What if we sing and dance to a really cool song?” [gets hit by a dodgeball, with all five friends in a pile.] Stella: "Hey, that's a great idea, Zach! We could sing and dance! What do you all think?" Clyde: "Sounds good to me!" Rusty: "I'm game!" Lincoln: "Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late. These new jock straps are confusing. Dodgeball already over?!" Clyde: "Lincoln, good news! For the talent show, we're gonna sing and shake our groove things!" [starts dancing] Rusty: "But, like, in a cool way." Lincoln: "Actually, guys, I had a solo act in mind. It's time Royal Woods Middle School was introduced to Lincoln the Magnificent!" [snaps his fingers and wills a fedora on his head] "Eh?" [His friends all stare dumbfounded.] Liam: "A fedora? Ain't nothing cool about that." Stella: "Shield formation!" [they all swarm Lincoln] Lincoln: "Hey, what are you doing?" Rusty: "Saving your life, dude! You can't be doing magic in front of the whole school!" Lincoln: "Why not? What's wrong with magic?" Stella: "Sorry, Linc, but top hats and card tricks? Isn't that a little young?" Zach: "Immature, really." Liam: "So fifth grade." Clyde: "We're just trying to look out for you. This is your middle school reputation on the line." Lincoln: "Um, what could be better for my reputation than this?" [doffs his fedora and a dove comes out] "Cool, right?" Rusty:[the dove pursues him] "Not the face!" Lincoln: "Sorry, guys. Gotta go. That's my only dove!" [runs off] Stella: "Guys, as Lincoln's friends, we can't let him do this magic thing." Liam: "He's like a piglet during breach birth. We just need to turn him around." Clyde:[his stomach rumbles] "Oh, I don't know if I can do this. It sounds like scheming. You know scheming hurts my stomach!" Lincoln:[performing to other students] "Ladies and gentlemen, I, Lincoln the Magnificent, will make this dove disappear!" [dons his fedora and taps his wand, but ends up in his underwear] "Ta-da..." Clyde: "I'll live with the discomfort."
[The hallways.] Stella: "Alright, gang, what's our plan with Lincoln?" Zach: "Oh, I got it! How about mind control or brainwashing? No, this is it. Subliminal messaging." Liam: "I'm just gonna flat out nab his magic kit." Clyde:[stomach growls] "Is that really the best i-" [notices Liam has vanished.] Zach: "And he's already gone." [Liam sneaks to Lincoln's locker and gets it open. He notices an endless handkerchief.] Liam: "Not today, dark arts." [He tries to get the prop, but it falls on him.]
[The cafeteria. Rusty, Clyde, Stella, and Zach are eating when Liam, tangled up in the endless handkerchief, approaches.] Stella: "Uh, where's the magic kit?" Liam: "I didn't get it. It got me." Zach: "Now can we use mental manipulation?" Rusty: "I have a better idea." Zach: "You are going to let Zach use mental manipulation now." [notices Rusty has vanished] Stella: "And Rusty's already gone." Rusty:[approaches Lincoln] "Hey, L-Rock. Before you go all in on this magic thing, you might want to see the sweet dance moves I got planned. Hit me with that beat, Chef Pat!" [Chef Pat takes out a boombox and plays music] "Aw, yeah!" [starts dancing] "Hmm, not doing it for you yet? Then how about this?!" [hits Lincoln with a dance move] "Did it work? Hey, where'd he go?" [A student points to Lincoln in the trashcan.] Zach: "OK. Now we're trying it my way. Clyde, I'm gonna need your help." [Clyde can only groan.]
[Lincoln and Clyde are near a vending machine.] Lincoln: "Thanks for buying me a snack, Clyde. You have no idea how much it costs to feed and house a dove." Clyde: "You bet. Just two best friends sharing some dried apples! Nothing unusual at all." Meryl:[Passes by] "Those are some healthy choices, boys!" Zach: "Hey, guys. Fancy running into you here." Lincoln: "At school?" Zach:[takes out a pocket watch] "Behold, this antique pocket watch. Look closely at it and relax your mind." Lincoln: "Zach, why are you showing me an old watch?" Zach: "Shh. Just focus on the watch. Let's talk about dancing. It's so cool. You want to dance. You need to dance." Lincoln: "Nice try, Zach, but I'm sticking with my magic act." [walks away] Zach: "I don't understand why it didn't work." [They walk away. Meanwhile Meryl is staring blankly in the direction Zach was standing, her eyes now pink swirls, and starts dancing out of nowhere] Meryl: "I wanna boot-scoot! I need to boot-scoot! Aw, yeah, aw, yeah!" [Meryl boot-scoots away, while two students just stand confused]
[Outside the school.] Liam: "What happened? We just saw Lincoln leave and that feller wasn't dancing." Zach: "Stupid dollar store pocket watch." [throws the watch; a cat yowls] Stella: "Don't worry, guys. I think I know someone who can help us."
[Later, Lincoln leaves Gus's Games and Grub humming to himself when he notices a boy dressed in Swiss garb and blowing on an alphorn.] Yodel Boy: "Yoo-hoo. Any requests? I'll yodel any song you like." Lincoln: "Uh, no, I'm good. Cool horn." Yodel Boy: "Oh, thank you. The name's Yodel Boy. Pleased to meet you." Lincoln: "Lincoln Loud." [shakes Yodel Boy's hand] "Yodel Boy? That's unique." Yodel Boy: "Well, that wasn't always my name." [Blasts the horn, fading to a flashback of a past Royal Woods Middle School talent show.] "I had a normal name: Johann Johananananananan. That was before the middle school talent show. My friends tried to warn me. They said yodeling wasn't cool, and there's a reason it's only done alone on mountaintops." [Yodel Boy yodels on stage, and the audience laughs.] Girl in Audience: "Is that guy yodeling?" Yodel Boy:[narrating] "One day, you're just another sixth-grader, and the next, you're..." Boy in Audience:[laughs and starts chanting] "Yodel boy! Yodel boy!" Audience:[chanting] "Yodel boy! Yodel boy!" [The audience keeps chanting, forcing Yodel Boy to flee the stage and trip on his alphorn. Back to the present.] Yodel Boy: "That one talent show ruined my entire reputation. It haunted me all through middle school." Lincoln: "Hmm, reputation... Boy, am I glad I ran into you. You saved my butt! Thanks, Yodel Boy." [leaves] [Rusty, Clyde, Zach, and Liam come out from behind] Rusty: "Great job, Yodel Boy." ["Yodel Boy" removes "his" wig, revealing "himself" to be...] Stella: "Danke." Meryl:[Still dancing under hypnosis] "Whoo-hoo! Can't stop this here train, y'all!"
[Back in the halls of middle school.] Rusty: "Why do people keep calling me a redhead? Clearly I have strawberry blonde." Lincoln:[Runs up to them] "Guys! I'm glad I found you. You know, I've been thinking. I'm gonna join your dance thing. I think you'll do better with an even number of dancers." [Rusty looks at the others.] Liam: "What about magic?" Lincoln: "Magic will always be there. That's the magic of it." Rusty: "You've got a lot to catch up on. How strong is your somersault game?"
[The talent show.] Stella: "All right, guys, bring it in! OK, we all worked really hard, so let's go out there and be cool! But don't let them know that we know we're cool because that's... that's not cool." Rusty: "Got it. Be cool." Clyde: "Oh, I almost forgot! I bedazzled us some headbands!" Stella:[panicking] "Clyde, not that locker!" [Clyde opens a locker, and finds that's where Stella hid her Yodel Boy disguise, which falls out. Stella hastily tries to hide it, but it's too late] Lincoln: "Hey, that looks like Yodel Boy's horn and lederhosen." Stella: "No, those are my lederhosen. They, uh, hold my pants up." Lincoln: "You've never worn them before. What's going on around here?" Clyde:[stomach growls] "I can't take it anymore! Lincoln, we created a fictional Swiss goat herder with an ear for music and a tragic backstory to stop you from doing magic and ruining your reputation!" Lincoln: "What? Why?!" Zach: "We did it because we're your friends." Rusty: "Yeah, man. We couldn't just let you go out there and embarrass yourself in front of everyone." Lincoln:[feeling betrayed] "Wow, I guess middle school really changes people, even the ones you thought were your best friends. If you all think I'm so embarrassing, then maybe I should just go." [Lincoln angrily storms off, and his friends sit dejected.] Stilt Boy:[shows up on stilts] "You guys are up. Hah, good luck toppling my act." [slips and falls]
[On stage, Rusty and the others start dancing, but Clyde is nervous.] Clyde: "I can't do this!" [The others stop. Jared coughs. The others nod and Clyde approaches the microphone.] "Hi, everyone. We had a dance routine prepared, but we're actually not going to perform it." Stella: "Because of us, our friend didn't get to perform his magic act." Liam: '"That magic show was really important to the feller. So Lincoln, if you're here, we're really sorry." [The audience starts booing and laughing at them.] Rusty: "Guys, I don't think he's coming back." Clyde: "Okay. Sorry, I guess that's the end of the talent show." [The others leave, when suddenly...] Lincoln: "No, it's not!" [appears in a puff of smoke] "Now, who's ready for some magic?" [The audience stares bored] "Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Lincoln the Magnificent!" [pushes his friends back on stage] "And these guys in the shiny pants are my volunteers. Their methods may be questionable, but they're always looking out for me." [His friends smile] "Chef Pat, kick it!" [Chef Pat takes out her boombox and plays music. A montage of Lincoln's magic acts occurs. First he saws Stella in half. Clyde faints from shock, and Zach laughs, only for Lincoln to pull an Ace of Hearts from behind Zach's ear, step from behind, make the card appear in his hand in a puff of smoke, and shuffle the deck, and finally catch the same card. The audience likes it. For the finale, Lincoln takes out a hat and pulls Liam in a bunny suit out of it.] Lincoln: "Ta-da!" [The audience applauds Lincoln's act. He gestures to his friends and teleports them all backstage in a flash of smoke.] Zach: "Lincoln, that was amazing! You sure proved us wrong!" Rusty: "Yeah! Who knew magic was so cool?" Clyde: "I'm sorry we tricked you, buddy." Stella: "We're all sorry. We should've believed in you more." [The others agree.] Lincoln: "Yeah, it's all good. C'mon, bring it in!" [The friends hug, but cheering is heard.] Stella: "I thought you were the last act. Who's performing now?" [The last act is Meryl, still hypnotized and dancing.] Meryl: "I'm a-booting! I'm a-scooting! I'm a-" [trips, breaking the hypnosis. She gets up, looks around, and sees where she is] "Now how did I get here?!"
