The following is a transcript for the episode "Scoop Snoop."
Script[]
The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
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[The scene starts at Royal Woods Middle School. We cut to a recording camera's view of Stella holding a microphone. The lens adjusts.] Liam: "Okie dokie. We're recording!"
Stella: "This is Stella Zhau reporting." [Suspiciously] "Someone's been letting their pet go potty here on the school field and not cleaning it up. Well, the Action News Team are here to reveal the poop-etrator." [She gasps and looks ahead.] "Here they come now!" [To the right there's a 'dog' with their owner, both wearing identical disguises as they walk on by. Back to Stella.] "Kangaroos, time to bust some scum."
[Stella and Liam run there, but are outsped by Katherine Mulligan and a cameraman, causing them to collide with the children and send them to a dizzy spin, landing on their backsides. She gasps.] Liam: "What?"
[Katherine Mulligan appears on recording with the suspect.] Katherine: "This is a Katherine Mulligan news exclusive. I'm unmasking the serial pet pooper." [Takes the hat off the owner, revealing to be Vic] "The owner is Vic. And the pet pooper is Gilly!" [Gilly, on a leash, runs away and takes Vic with him.] Liam:[Confused] "Jumpin' jackalopes. How in the world did she steal our story?"
[Inside Sunset Canyon Retirement Home, Zach is recording footage of Rusty, wearing smart clothes.] Rusty: "The Action News Team has received a tip that somebody famous is hiding out here disguised as an old lady." [He moves aside and gestures to the 'lady', wearing a gray wig and writing on a piece of paper. Both boys stand next to 'her', continuing their recording.] "Prepare to have your minds blown." [Just as he's about to remove the wig, Katherine's team pop up.] Katherine: "I'm Katherine Mulligan" [Cut to the 'lady', with an angry Zach and Rusty behind 'her'.] "exposing this 'Little old lady' as..." [Pulls the wig/mask off, revealing Mick's face, and making Zach and Rusty even more angry.] "Mick Swagger in disguise." [Hyperventilates in excitement] "He's holed up here as he writes songs for his new album, 'Mick or Treat'."
Zach:[Annoyed] "Hey, that was our scoop."
Scoots:[Wheels in and points at Mick, causing him to flinch.] "Nobody punks us, Brit boy. Pudding him!" [Everyone gathers around Mick. The background rumbles while a Loud splatting sound is heard, scaring some birds away.]
[The Action News Team are on their bikes.] Lincoln: "This is the story of the century."
Stella: "It's cool of Gus to tip us off he's discontinuing spaghetti pizza."
Clyde:[Sobbing] "It's a dark day for the culinary world." [He and Lincoln bump into the back of the NEWS 3 van and fall off.] Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Stella and Liam: "Oh, no!"
[Cut to Katherine, holding the last bite-sized piece of spaghetti pizza.] Katherine: "This is the last bite of the last slice of the last spaghetti pizza Gus will ever serve."
[She eats it. The camera zooms out, revealing that she and a cameraman are inside a restaurant with the banner R.i.p. Spaghetti Pizza. She continues reporting; while holding a mouthful] "I'm Katherine Mulligan reporting that you'll never know just how delicious that was."
Stella:[Annoyed] "I don't get it." [To Lincoln and Clyde] "How does Katherine Mulligan keep scooping us?" [Cut to Liam, Rusty and Zach, the latter eating a burger.] Rusty: "Someone has to be leaking to her. My cousin Derek's studying to be a plumber." [Takes the straw off his drink and pierces the bottom with it.] "He says you have to find a leak and plug it or it gets worse." [The purple drink pours over Zach's burger, giving the latter a furious look back.] Lincoln:[Miserably] "Rusty's right. If we don't do something, this could be the end of the Action News Team." [He and Stella sulk, until they hear Clyde.] Clyde:[Upset] "Wait. Can we have a moment of silence..." [Goes watery eyed and sniffles] "For spaghetti pizza?" [The rest of the Action News Team stand in silence. Lincoln, Stella and Zach close their eyes and put their hand on their heart.]
[The School Bell rings for lunchtime.] Girl Student:[In Background chatting] "And then he totally ate my science project. Can you believe it?"
[The camera pans to a girl in the foreground taking a tray to her table. At Lincoln's table, Rusty stares angrily at something.] Lincoln:[Suspiciously while eating] "The leak has to be somebody here at school, someone who's eavesdropping on us."
[Zach suddenly gasps and sees Meryl in the distance.] Zach: "Do you think it's Meryl?"
[Meryl pulls out a tray of goodies from her beehive. She pulls out her drink and starts drinking.] Liam:[Gasps] "Betcha it is." [Whispering to Zach's ear] "Why, she's probably sneaking out our stories in that beehive."
Stella: "What do you think, Rusty?" [Realizes he's not there. She and Lincoln move aside, revealing Rusty playing on his phone; calling] "Rusty."
Rusty: "Huh? Sorry. My dad's texts are blowing up my phone. He's going on a date tonight with his new mystery boo, and he wants to know what he should wear. This, [Shows Zach and Liam his first photo, his dad wearing a dark green jacket, bright green T-short with jeans, and holding a red rose.] "Or this." [Flicks to the next photo, in which he's wearing a Blue tuxedo with a white shirt and bow-tie.] Zach: "Uh, I'd go for the turtleneck."
Liam: "With that jawline? I reckon he's better off with the tux."
Stella: "Guys! Focus." [Is shown the phone, realizes] "Oh, no. Liam's right. The tux for sure."
[Clyde gasps as he sees Chef Pat in the distance, wiping a table.] Clyde: "Psst." [He points under the table. The Team hide underneath it.] "Chef Pat seems to be always wiping that table when we're eating lunch."
Lincoln:[Suspiciously] "So that means Chef Pat is probably the leak. But we need to find out for sure. Follow my lead." [They rise back to their seats; Normally] "You guys, I just got a hot tip. There's a meatloaf shortage in Royal Woods."
Liam: "Ooh-wee, that sounds like a [Shouts louder with each word.] Mighty! Exclusive! STORY!"
[Chef Pat gasps and moves out. The Team gasp and look at each other.]
[The chef is then seen answering the phone.] Chef Pat: "Yeah, that's it. Okay--" [--the door opens.] "Oh!" [She turns around. The team arrive and confront her suspiciously.] Stella: "So, Patricia. Who ya callin'?"
Clyde: "Could it be--oh, I don't know." [Goes face to face and points at the chef's face] "Someone with the initials KM?"
Chef Pat: "Actually, yeah. Kielbasa Mark, my meat guy. If there's a meatloaf shortage, he can hook me up."
Lincoln:[Snatching the phone off the chef and answering it.] "Then I'm sure you won't mind if I talk to him. Tell me, Mister [Air quotes] Kielbasa, what's the going rate for meat?" [Indistinct talking heard over the phone] "Mm-hmm, and that's wholesale?" [Continue listening] "Wow. Boneless chuck roast is 3.87 a pound. Mark says that's a steal." [Chef Pat growls, demanding her phone back. He obliges, guiltily.] "Heh-heh. We'll show ourselves out." [He zooms off.]
[In the locker room, the team continue their discussion.] Lincoln: "So, if it's not Chef Pat, who could be tipping off Katherine?" [They see Mr. Mu putting a poster up on the wall. The team gasp.] Stella: "Mr. Mu, the art teacher. He was on Clyde's Culture Corner last week demonstrating paper missions."
[The team show suspicious feelings again.] Clyde: "That's right. And I saw him scooping out our studio while he was raiding the complimentary snacks table."
[Mr. Mu looks back in annoyance and leaves.] Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Stella and Liam: "Hmm..."
[In the art classroom, Rusty is posing on stage, wearing a white toga, flip flops, and leaves above his ears. The others are painting a portrait of him.] Rusty: "Drink it in. Roman Rusty is the hizz-ouse."
[Mr. Mu looks at Stella's painting, holding a pencil.] Mr. Mu: "Hmm, an interesting interpretation of Rusty, Miss Zhau."
[Stella's painting is revealed to be a worried sweaty Flip with his mall floating above him on wings with a halo on top. The caption TOO SOON!! is written on the left side.] Stella: "Gosh, sorry, Mr. Mu. I can't get this exclusive story out of my head. The Food n' Fuel's closing."
[Lincoln and Zach hold up their paintings.] Liam: "Me too."
Lincoln: "Same."
Zach: "The story is huge."
[Clyde displays his painting to Mr. Mu. He gasps and goes starry eyed in astonishment and claps. Stella gasps and starts to feel jealous.] Clyde: "Sorry. I got swept up in artistic passion. Rusty's such a great muse." [Cut to a gleaming Rusty. A white bird lands on Rusty's finger.] Mr. Mu:[To Stella] "Uh, keep creating, mes petits artistes." [Walks away] "I need to make a call." [Stella hears this and signals the rest of the team to come with him.]
[Back in the corridor, the team gather around the door outside where Mr. Mu is calling. Liam hoists Rusty up to the vent above the door.] Mr. Mu:[On phone] "I've discovered something you'll be very interested in, I promise you.--" [--Rusty nods and give a thumb up to the rest of the Team.] "Is there any room left in your art exhibit? One of my students just painted a masterpiece." [Rusty turns to the team and shakes his head, causing them to groan and walk off. As they do so, Rusty is left hanging on to the vent, wriggling his feet. He falls off and lands on his back.] Rusty: "Whoa! Ugh!" [Groans]
[The Action News Team poster is stuck on the door outside the locker room.] Clyde: "We're never gonna find the leak at this rate. There are too many people at school to investigate."
Rusty:[Having grapes] "We shouldn't be following the rat. We should wait at the nest."
Liam:[Raising his head from the desk] "What in the manure pile does that even mean?"
Rusty:[Chucks his grape] "Katherine is the nest, dawgs! If we follow her, the 'leaker' or 'rat' is gonna come to her." [Has a grape.] Lincoln: "Then we'll have our culprit. Rusty, that's a brilliant idea! Looks like it's time for an Action News Team undercover investigation." [The team strike their poses.]
[At Katherine Mulligan's house, Katherine is having breakfast, holding her mug and eating a danish as it pops out of the toaster. Lincoln, Clyde and Stella, going undercover, peep through the bushes, showing suspicious looks.] Lincoln: "8:02. Katherine takes a bite of Danish."
Stella: "Roger that."
Rusty:[Also popping out from the bushes.] "'Sup dudes?"
Stella:[Annoyed] "Rusty, you're late." [Her team sniff and suddenly hold their noses.] "Ugh, what's that awful smell?"
Rusty: "I was helping my dad pick a cologne to wow his gal pal. We-- landed on Undersea Daydream." [--He stretches his arm out to the trio and rubs the scent on it. The scent releases a green gas, causing them to gag. They then gasp and hide behind the bushes, with Lincoln forcing Rusty down. Katherine is outside the house - humming a tune - and walks into her car. She drives off.] Lincoln: "Suspect's on the move. Let's go." [While Rusty, Lincoln and Clyde move out, Stella waits and calls somebody.] Stella: "Come on, Zach."
[Part of the bush rises and runs off, the shoes are revealed to be Zach's.]
[At Burpin' Burger, Katherine is having lunch with one of her crew members. The camera cuts to the trash can. A hand with a phone pops out of the lid and records the footage.] Liam: "Rusty, ya got your knee square in my gizzard."
[The trash can shakes.] Rusty: "Then stop moving around, dawg."
Liam: "Shh."
[The phone is pulled back in as Katherine and her friend empty their trays into the trash can.] Rusty: "Augh! Horseradish in the eye. Ugh."
Katherine: "Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did this garbage can just talk?" [She shrugs, and walks off. As soon as she's out of sight, the Trash can tips over, revealing an exhausted Liam and Rusty.] Liam and Rusty: "Ugh!"
[At the bowling alley, a man bowls the bowling ball and knocks down 10 pins.] Patchy Drizzle:[Announcing] "Yahoo! Today's forecast: a hundred percent chance of winning for Patchy Drizzle."
Katherine: "I'm getting some developing news. It ain't over till the last frame." [As she's about to pick up her bowling ball, Lincoln and Clyde, disguised as their respective grandmothers, interrupt her.] Lincoln:[imitating Myrtle] "Don't mind us, sweetie. We're just a couple of senior ladies bowling."
[Zach, still in bush disguise, records the footage on his phone, but he wobbles and collides with the two 'ladies', rolling them across the alley and knocking down the pins.] Katherine: "Katherine Mulligan wants to know, did that bush just bowl a strike?" [Zach gasps in panic and hides himself in his disguise.]
[A bird rests on top of the Tall Timbers Park. At the Park, Katherine is sat on the bench tapping her foot. The Action News Team are sat high up the tree, waiting in boredom.] Stella:[Annoyed] "Ugh. We've been following the nest all day and not one rat." [A squirrel appears to the right of Clyde, clenching his eyes.] Lincoln:[Miserably] "Well, guys. Guess we might as well call it a day." [Sees something and becomes alert] "Wait, look who's coming." [Principal Ramirez appears and confronts Katherine.] "What is Principal Ramirez doing here?" [They whisper to each other. A moment later, a hand with a phone sneaks in front of the viewers and records the footage.] Zach:[Annoyed] "Ugh, I can't hear them."
[Katherine gives a letter to the Principal. They wave.] Principal Ramirez: "See you here next week."
[The Action News team gasp in horror.] Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Stella and Liam: "Principal Ramirez is the leak?!"
Liam: "Never woulda pegged her for a squealer." [Angrily engages in a fighting pose] "I'm gonna give her a good ol' what for."
Lincoln: "No, wait. She'll just deny it. What we need to do is get some concrete evidence, and I think I know how. Action News Team poses!"
[They strike their signature pose.]
[Outside the school, the Team peep from behind the car.] Lincoln: "Okay, so Stella made a notebook of some" [Air quotes] "'hot news leads', but they're all" [Air quotes] "fake. We [Air quotes] 'accidentally' drop it here by Principal Ramirez' car. As the [Air quotes] 'rat,' she [Air quotes] 'finds it' and takes it to [Air quotes] 'the nest'." [to the rest of his team] "Any questions?"
Clyde: "Can you go over that one more time? I got lost in all the air quotes."
Lincoln: "I'll explain as we hide."
[Lincoln and the rest of the boys hide back in the car as Stella walks along holding a Secrets book. She stops by the blue car, looks to see if it's clear; then she drops the book and hurries off. Principal Ramirez walks to the car, but notices the book. She picks it up and reads.] Principal Ramirez: "Hmm..."
[She gets in the car and drives off. The team look at each other with confidence, knowing that their plan is working.]
[Back at Tall Timbers Park, Principal Ramirez goes to Katherine again, holding the secrets book.] Katherine:[Happy] "Oh. Principal Ramirez." [the Team peep from the bush] "Glad you could make it."
Lincoln: "Gotcha." [Shouts] "Principal Ramirez!" [The two women gasp in horror as Lincoln and the rest of his team angrily run towards them, holding their recording equipment.] "Action News Team!"
Katherine: "Excuse me."
Lincoln: "Principal Ramirez, how much has Katherine Mulligan been paying you to steal our news stories?"
[Cut to the footage being recorded by Liam.] Principal Ramirez: "I don't know what you're talking about."
Clyde:[Sneaks in and puts the microphone up the Principal's face, causing her to wobble and drop the book] "We're asking the questions here." [She falls in the water, causing a splashing sound.] Rusty: "The jig is up, Katherine 'Shady Shader' Mulligan." [Goes to the Principal, who is soaked, and shows her the book.] "The book Principal Ramirez was going to give you is a bunch of phony news leads we planted. Bam!" [Reads the title closely] "'Passion Under the Pompeii Moon?' Uh oh..."
Principal Ramirez:[Angrily snatching the book from Rusty] "You bet your 'uh-oh'. Ms. Mulligan and I are in a book club together. Now someone get me out of here." [The team lose their suspicious looks.] Katherine: "That's the story. We've been meeting to swap novels we're reading."
Stella: "So you weren't leaking our stories?"
Principal Ramirez:[Angrily to Rusty while brushing the water off her skirt] "Of course not! Is this what you spend your time on, making false accusations?!" [Rusty backs off, away from the puddle and joins his team, who are all feeling guilty.] "I have half a mind to shut down the Action News Team."
[The team yelp in shock.] Stella: "Please don't."
Rusty: "No, dawg."
Lincoln: "We're sorry."
Liam: "Give us another chance."
Katherine:[Steps in front of the Team, to the Principal] "I'm Katherine Mulligan, and I agree with these children. Sure, they got the story wrong. But they've got real drive." [Giggles] "It reminds me of me when I was starting out. I say they deserve a second chance."
[The Team show pleading expressions.] Principal Ramirez:[Still wet and annoyed] "Fine."
[The Team jump and share a high five in celebration.] Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Stella and Liam: "Whoo hoo!" "Yeah!" "All right!"
[The Principal exits the lake, brushing more water off of her hair.] Principal Ramirez:[Wagging her finger.] "But no more wild goose chases, or knocking principals in lakes."
Zach: "Promise."
Lincoln: "We swear."
Rusty: "It was Zach."
Lincoln: "Thanks, Ms. Mulligan. But we have to know, how the heck have you been able to scoop us?"
Katherine: "With help from my boyfriend. He's a real sweetie with even sweeter leads. But I had no idea he was getting them from you." [Sees her boyfriend and starts waving] "Oh, look, he's here to pick me up now."
[The Team look back and gasp as Rodney appears from behind the tree, waving back.] Rodney: "Hey, my little Mull-berry." [Walks and hands her a bunch of flowers.] [The Team except Rusty are startled.] Stella: "Rusty, it's your dad. Why didn't you say he was dating Katherine?"
Rusty: "Dude, I didn't know. He said he was seeing someone but just called her his 'news boo.'" [Realizes something] "Oh. Now I get it."
Katherine: "Hot Rod, you didn't tell me those great tips you've been giving me were from your son. I've been accidentally scooping his news team the whole week."
Rodney: "Great tips? I thought Rusty was just giving me some good gossip." [To Rusty] "Sorry, Rust-man. I only shared it with my news boo when I ran out of convo starters."
Rusty: "Eh, we're cool, Dad." [Rodney and Katherine give each other a snog in front of the children. They flinch, groan and gag at the scene.] "As long as you never do that in front of me again."
Katherine: "Kids, let me make things up to you." [Brings Rusty towards her.] "I noticed you're using phones for your reporting." [They wrap arms around each other] "How about I donate some equipment from our news room to your Action News team?"
[The team punch the air in celebration.] Lincoln, Clyde, Zach, Rusty, Stella and Liam: "Yeah!" "Awesome!"
[Clyde picks up his phone, which has an alert.] Clyde: "Guys! I got a hot lead. Flip's painting packing peanuts yellow and selling them as cheese puffs."
Lincoln: "Wow. That sounds big enough to be a joint scoop." [To Katherine] "Ms. Mulligan?"
Katherine: "Katherine Mulligan is happy to report she's in."
Lincoln:[Posing] "Action News Team pose!"
[The rest of Lincoln's team join in to pose, including Katherine.]
