The following is a transcript for the episode "Shop Girl".
[The episode begins early morning at the Loud House, the siblings, except Leni, are in their pajamas eating cereal and watching TV.]
Leni: [Offscreen] "Hey guys, anyone seen my bus pass?"
Lori: "Did you check your purse?"
Leni: "Thanks, I got it. Did someone take the credit card?"
Lola: "Check your purse."
Leni: "Oh, right. Wait, my shopping list."
Lisa: “The purse, woman!”
Leni: [Walking in] "Culottes, jeans, pom-pom sweater."
Lincoln: "Going shopping, Leni?"
Leni: "Not just shopping. Reiningers is having a huge two day, 25% off blowout sale, and I made up a dream shopping list for it. Yay, new wardrobe!" [Leaves, as her siblings bid her ado.] "Shoot, where did I put my purse?"
Leni's Siblings: "Check your arms."
[They return to their breakfast. A few hours later, they are in their regular clothes eating lunch.]
Leni: [Offscreen] "I'm back."
[The siblings look in shock to see that their sister has been beaten up as she is shown with her messed up dress, a cracked lense on her sunglasses, and is missing her left sandal.]
Lana: "Are you okay, Leni? Did you wrestle a bear?"
Lynn: "Where's your stuff?"
Leni: "I didn't get any of it."
Lori: "What? Why?"
Leni: "Well, you know how shoppers can be. Sometimes, they can be a little grabby and pushy. And clawy and shovey."
Lola: "Ah, wait, did you let a bunch of greedy bargain hunters take your stuff?!"
Leni: "I don't mind. I'll just make new clothes with my old ones. Yay!" [goes upstairs]
Lori: [Takes out the remote] "Poor Leni. This always happens. She's too nice for her own good."
[Lola takes the remote from Lori and starts channel surfing.]
Lisa: "It's true, her submissive nature makes her easy prey." [Lucy takes the remote from Lola.] "Much like the baby wildebeest of the serengeti."
Lana: "She needs to learn how to be a little tougher."
Lola: "A little meaner." [Gets into a fist fight with Lucy over the remote.]
Lynn: [Joining the fight] "More aggressive."
Lola: [To Lucy] "I WANT THE REMOTE!"
[The other sisters, except Lily, join the fight.]
Lori: "Give me that remote back!"
Lincoln: [Who also wasn't in the fight, but manages to grab the remote anyway and use it.] "More like us."
[Cuts to Leni sewing something in her room while her siblings come in.]
Lincoln: "Leni, how would you like to go back to that sale tomorrow, and get everything you wanted?"
Leni: "That's okay. I'm fine. [Shows what she's sewing] Look! I turned this nightgown into jeans! [realizes] Oh, wait. Now I don't have a nightgown. [Gets some other jeans] "Ooooh, I can make one out of these other jeans!"
[The siblings shake their heads.]
Luan: "Leni, [sits Leni down] You need to learn to stand up for yourself."
Lana: 'Yeah, you don't wanna be wilted-beets in the spaghetti!"
Lisa: "Meh, close enough."
Lori: "But don't worry, we're to teach you how to become a more assertive, decisive person!"
Leni: "Well, okay. If you guys want. I'm just happy when you're happy."
Lincoln: [facepalms; sighs] "We have a lot of work to do."
[Later, outside the bathroom.]
Lincoln: "Tomorrow, you're going back to that mall as a new Leni. And the new Leni, doesn't let people cut ahead of her in line." [Leni nods, and Lincoln calls out to everyone.] "Ten, hut."
[The other sisters are lined up along the wall, Luan approaches Leni.]
Luan: "Now, you're number one in the bathroom line. Don't let anyone make you number two. [Laughs] Get it?"
Leni: I don't. But don't worry! No one's gonna cut!
Lynn: [acting; groans] "I'm feeling the surprise part of Dad's taco surprise! Oh, you gotta let me cut, Leni!"
Leni: "Oh, you poor thing! Go right ahead!"
[The other siblings groan.]
Lola: "Alright. Step aside and watch a pro do it. Lori, your assistance."
Lori: [clears throat; acting] "I'm in a hurry, Lola! Let me cut!"
[Lola growls; Lori tries to cut, but Lola starts attacking her.]
Lori: "Ow! How are you so freakishly strong?!"
Lola: [pinning Lori down] "I HOPE YOU LIKE THE TASTE OF FLOOR!!"
Leni: [taking notes] "Tackle, pin, catchphrase. Got it!"
[Cuts to out in the backyard. The kids, minus Leni and Luna, pile some clothes on a table.]
Luna: "Second lesson, the new Leni isn't afraid to go after what she wants." [pointing to the table] "There's some rockin' threads on that clearance table, but you got major peeps blockin' your way. What are you gonna do, dude?"
Leni: [With determination] "I'm gonna get those threads!" [Marches up to the table with a serious look on her face, and politely taps Lynn on the shoulder.] "So sorry, would you mind moving?" [Tries to find an opening] "No? I can wait until your ready." [Walks away, as her siblings at the table sigh]
Luna: [Pushes Leni back. And to Lynn.] "Yo, LJ, show her how it's done."
Lynn: "With pleasure." [Runs off, and returns wearing her football helmet.] "Hut, hut." [paints black lines on her face.] "Take a hike!" [Rampages her siblings like football, spins a sweater over her head to celebrate, and starts doing a victory dance on it, much to Lori's charging.]
Lori: "Hey! Bobby gave me that sweater!" [Shoots Lynn a dirty look.]
Leni: [Taking notes] "Run, block, do a dance. Got it!"
[Cuts to the kitchen.]
Lucy: "Third lesson, protecting your property." [Hands Leni a phone charger, which Leni takes.] "The new Leni doesn't let greedy shoppers steal her stuff."
Lana: "That phone charger is the only working one in the house. Your goal is to hold onto it, no matter what."
Leni: [Still missing the point of these training sessions, gets up.] "Oh, it's okay," [gives Lana the charger] "I can use the land line."
Leni's Siblings: [Annoyed] "Leni, no!" [put her back in the chair.]
Lana: "Put yourself first!"
Lori: [Takes the charger, sighs, and goes to the other side of the kitchen.] "I'll show you how it's done. I've been protecting my junk from you guys for seventeen years." [wraps the charger around her under arm.] "The key is to use a good, firm armpit grip." [To her other siblings] "Alright, come at me."
[They attack her while Leni remains seated.]
Leni: [Taking notes] "Armpit tuck, fall on floor, protect vital organs." [Leaves without saying anything else.]
Lori: [Not realizing that Leni has already left.] "Got it yet, Leni?! Ow! Leni!"
[The next day, Leni and her siblings are waiting in the line at Reiningers.]
Leni: "Thank you guys for all of your help. I'm so excited about the new Leni! Just one question: Where did the old Leni go?"
[Just then, Miguel shoves in front of Leni like she's not even there. Her siblings are not happy.]
Luna: "Hey dude! Bogus!"
Leni: [Clenching her fists, and making a face.] "I got this creep." [Attacks him the same way Lola did to Lori the day before, pins him to the ground.] "I hope you like the taste of flan!" [Turns to her astonished siblings.] "Was it 'flan' or 'floor'? I heard flan."
Lola: "Doesn't matter. You're a queen!"
[The guy runs away. Meanwhile, one of the store employees nervously opens the doors, and everyone starts rushing in. Leni makes a determined face, and rushes in as well. She makes her way to a swimsuit section, but sees a bunch of other woman taking the swimsuits.]
Leni: "Hut, Hut. Take a hike!"
[Leni shoves the women out of her way to reach the swimsuits. She gets one and starts doing a dance, with Lincoln and Lynn joining in.]
Lynn: "Woo! All day long, baby!"
[Next, Leni grabs a sweater of the rack, and some lady tries to steal it from her, but Leni grabs it.]
Leni: [Struggling] "Hey! It's mine! Don't even think about it!" [Hip checks the lady into a pile of clothes]
[Cuts to a montage of Leni grabbing clothes before others could get to them and puts them in her bag. The sibings watch Leni dragging two girls for a sweater, who also has a grip on it, but Leni takes it from them. The girls start attacking Leni, but she ends up winning and is twirling the sweater around.]
Leni's Siblings: "Yaaaay!"
[Leni is now at the check-out line. Her siblings walk over.]
Luna: "You rocked!"
Luan: "Yay, Leni!"
Lana: "You crushed it!"
Leni: "A new wardrobe! I can't believe it."
Lynn: "Ah, we gotta celebrate. Pretzels and sodas. On Lincoln."
Lincoln: "Wait, why me?"
Leni: "Thanks, Lincoln. Meet you guys at the food court."
[The siblings leave while a guy cuts in front of her, the obnoxious guy who cut in front of her earlier addresses this.]
Obnoxious Guy: "I wouldn't do that." [points to Leni]
[The guy who just cut Leni turns around, sees Leni preparing to bull charge him, and makes a run for it, Leni smiles at this, while the obnoxious guy just keeps to himself. Cut to the siblings at the food court.]
Luan: "Wow. Leni really malled the competition."
Lucy: "People are going to think twice before crossing her."
Lola: "We changed her life." [raises her soda] "To us!"
Siblings: "To us!" [clink their sodas together]
[Cuts back to Leni.]
Leni: [going through her clothes] "Hmm." [pulls out a top] "This top is perfect for a cozy Saturday." [pulls out the sweater] "And this sweater will look so good with my new nightgown jeans." [puts it back]
Mrs. Parker: "Are you sure you don't have any more of those polka-dot swimsuits?" [The clerk shakes her head.] "That's all my granddaughter wants. Well, that and for me to live forever but I can't promise that."
Leni: [Seeing that she had one, calls to Mrs. Parker.] "Here!" [Mrs. Parker walks up to her, and Leni takes her suit out.] "You should take mine."
Mrs. Parker: "Oh!" [Takes it] "You angel. Amy will be so happy."
[Mrs. Parker walks off, and another woman walks past but notices Leni's sweater.]
Woman: [Admires the sweater] "That sweater is so cute, where'd you get it?"
Leni: "I think this was the last one."
Woman: [Disappointed] "Oh, it's hard finding sweaters that won't give me what my doctor calls 'Category Five Rashes'." [Laughs] "That's me, allergic to almost every fabric." [Starts off] "Well, enjoy it."
Leni: "Wait! I can't imagine how awful that would be, " [offers her the sweater] "here, take mine."
Woman: [Happy] "Aw, that is so sweet." [Takes the sweater] "Thank you."
[Just then a guy runs past and drops his credit card. Leni picks it up.]
Leni: [to the guy] "Excuse me, is your name "American Bank"?"
Tie Guy: [comes back] "Oh my stars, I am so stressed about finding a tie for my anniversary, that I must've dropped it! [Leni gives it back to him.] 25 years, it's a big one."
Leni: "You know, I'd be glad to help you."
Tie Guy: "But you'd lose your place in line."
Leni: [grabs her bag and gets out of the line.] "That's okay. This is more important."
[She and the guy leave to find a tie. Meanwhile back at the food court...]
Lincoln: [drinking his soda] "Yep. Today could be the start of a whole new life for Leni."
[Starts fantasizing about Leni's future. Starting with her being the CEO of a major fashion corporation, and giving a presentation.]
Leni: "The ABCs of being a CEO."
[Next, fantasy Leni is signing a books titled "Taste the Flan" written by herself. Then they fantasize Leni being on a talk show.]
Interviewer: "Ms. Loud, you're the head of a fashion company, the best-selling author of 'Taste the Flan', and a role model for young women. To what do you attribute your success?"
Leni: "Well, I really owe it all to my siblings, see, there was this two-day blowout sale..."
[The siblings continue fantasizing, completely unaware of what Leni's doing back at Reiningers.]
Leni: [Giving a dress to a teen girl] "Problem solved, now you'll have something to wear to the dance." [They hug. Next, she gives a woman a blouse.] "You came all the way from Cheboygan for a flutter sleeve blouse? You should have it." [Giving some guy her culottes.] "Please, there'll be other culottes." [Giving a lady some pants.] "Send me a picture, I wanna see how those gaucho pants look in you."
[Leni finally gets to the front of the line, and puts the only thing she has left on the counter.]
Cashier: "This is a great find. I wish I had time to browse the racks."
Leni: "Oh, well, why don't you take it?"
Cashier: "Oh, oh, I couldn't do that, this is all you have and you've been waiting in line for so long."
Leni: "It's okay, I wouldn't even be shopping here, if it weren't for people like you working so hard."
[Leaves, while the cashier smiles, and gives the obnoxious guy who cut in front of her earlier a salute, he yelps and takes cover. Meanwhile, back at the food court...]
Lola: "No, the castle Leni's gonna live in, will have three swimming pools!"
Lincoln: "Oh, and a chocolate fountain!"
Lana: "A zoo!"
Lola: [noticing Leni] "There she is!"
Leni: [as her siblings cheer] "Hey, you guys!"
Lincoln: [noticing something] "Uh, Leni, where are your bags?"
Leni: "Oh, I didn't buy anything. I gave all my clothes away."
Lynn: "What?! After all our training?!"
Lincoln: "What happened to the new Leni?!"
Leni: "She wasn't really me. I'm sorry, you guys. It did feel good to get what I wanted, but it felt even better to give other people what they wanted."
Luan: "Leni, we're worried about you. How are you going to make it in life if you keep putting yourself last?"
Lori: [holds up her phone; Bobby is on the other line.] "Boo-Boo Bear and I cannot support you forever."
Mrs. Parker: [Walks up to Leni] "Oh, there you are, dear!" [holds up a present] 'I got you a little something to say thanks."
Leni: [takes the present] "Awwww, you shouldn't have! I hope your granddaughter loves the suit."
Mrs. Parker: "I know she will." [walks away] "I wish more young people were as sweet as you are."
Lola: "Presents are nice, but you know what's nicer? All those clothes you gave away!"
[Just then, a waiter comes in with a cart of fries.]
Waiter: "Excuse me, Miss, we have the number three combo, with fries, for everyone in your party, courtesy of that woman over there."
[The woman from before waves to Leni, and gestures to the sweater Leni gave her.]
Leni: [Applauding, while Lola takes the fries.] "Yay! You look great! No rashes."
[Just then, the tie guy and his wife walk up to Leni.]
Tie Guy's Wife: "Excuse me, Miss." [Her husband loves the tie] "Thank you so much for helping my hubby, he has never looked so cute."
Tie Guy: [Pulls out a gift card] "We got you a gift card to the fro-yo shop."
Leni: "That's so sweet of you, that's my favorite place." [The lovely couple starts off.] "Happy anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Bank."
[The couple has no clue what that means.]
Lori: "Leni, it's great that all these people are doing nice things for you," [eats a fry] but I still think it's more important that you-"
Ms. Carmichael: [Walks up to Leni and shakes her hand.] "Excuse me, I wanted to meet you. I'm Ms. Carmichael, I'm the manager of Reiningers, and I've been hearing such wonderful things about you. You know, we could use a sales employee with great customer service skills."
Leni: "Great, let me think about it, and get back to you with some names." [Her siblings clear their throats and gesture to her, and Leni realizes.] "Oh, you mean me."
Ms. Carmichael: "Hours are flexible, and employees get a fifty percent discount on all merchandise."
Leni: [Touched] "It's like there's a blowout sale happening in my heart."
Ms. Carmichael: "I'll take that as a yes." [Leni's siblings smile] "Stop by whenever to fill out paperwork."
Leni: [As she and Ms. Carmichael leave.] "I'll see you back at home, guys."
Lincoln: "Wow, we were so wrong about Leni."
Lynn: [Eating her fries] "Yeah, guess we don't have to worry about her after all."
Lola: [Looking at her fries] "Hmm, if being nice does that much for Leni, I wonder what it could do for me. [She gets up from her seat holding her fries and walks up to the obnoxious guy.] Hey, mister! How would you like my fries?"
Obnoxious Guy: "Oh, no thank you. I’m trying to watch my cholesterol."
Lola: "Go ahead. Take them."
Obnoxious Guy: "No, really. I'm good."
Lola: [Threateningly] "TAKE THE FRIES!"
Obnoxious Guy: [Screams] "What is up with this mall?!" [As he runs off in fear, Lola glares at him.]
Lincoln: "Maybe stick to what you know, Lola."
| v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts