The Loud House Encyclopedia
The Loud House Encyclopedia

The following is a transcript for the episode "Silence of the Luans."

Script[]

Paramount Skydance Corporation Logo The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.

[At the Loud House kitchen, Charles is sleeping, but is interrupted by Lincoln marching across the kitchen.]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "You may be wondering why I have my David Steele squirt blaster loaded full of gravy." [fires the blaster, Charles eats the gravy] "I'm on guard duty. Today's April Fool's Day." [Screen darkens and zooms in on Lincoln] "Yes, April Fool's Day, a.k.a. a living nightmare led by a rampaging lunatic named Luan." [cut to a yearbook list of Luan's class] "Okay, she doesn't look like a rampaging lunatic in her school photo, but trust me, that changes on April 1st." [The Luan photo begins to look more evil as the camera gets closer, and it starts chuckling. Back to the kitchen.] "Luan uses this holiday as an excuse to torture our family with prank after prank. There was the Great Mustarding of three years ago."
[Flashback to the Great Mustarding. Mustard pours out of the Loud House's front door, sending the family sailing out.]
Lynn Sr.: "Oh no! It's spicy brown!"
[Back to the present]
Lincoln: "The Mass Hair Waxing Disaster - ugh, I can't even show you that flashback, but I can play you the audio." [plays audio of that event, featuring the sounds of a shaver and the rest of the family screaming. He cringes.] "And who can forget when she floated our house down the Kalamazoo River?"
[Flashback to that prank. The Loud House is floating down the river. The kids are heard screaming, and the parents are on their bed as the house is flooded.]
Lynn Sr.: "It'll be OK, it'll be OK, it'll be OK..."
[Back to the present]
Lincoln: "But this year, things are going to be different. We've taken the most drastic security measures ever." [presses a keypad carefully, revealing an expensive door. He gets inside a staircase.] "Lisa created a highly secure containment cube, complete with 25-ton blast-proof doors. No one in the world is capable of escaping." [gets near the containment cube] "In the past, we've tried trapping Luan the night before, but it's made no difference. So this year, we locked her in a week ago. Don't worry. We gave her a friend to keep her company." [The friend is Walt, who eye-rolls.] "She's doing fine."
Luan: [in a raspy voice] "Lincoln..."
Lincoln: [yelps, crashing] "It's okay, Lincoln. This is what you trained for. Do not let her get in your head."
Luan: [raspy voice] "Could you get me-" [coughs; in her normal voice] "Sorry. I'm really thirsty. Could you get me a juice, or just let me out already? I told you guys, I'm done with pranking. I'm a mature gal; I'm way too old for childish pranks."
Lincoln: "You've been saying that all week, and we still don't believe you."
Lynn Sr.: [from upstairs] "Someone else wanna go down? Anybody? Triple dessert for a week!"
Lola: [from upstairs] "Not worth it. Get down there!" [shoves Lynn Sr. into the doorway]
Lynn Sr.: "Lola! No pushing!" [heads downstairs with a sandwich] "Hey, Luan. I have your breakfast."
[He and Lincoln nod at each other and take keys. They insert it into the locks, and a tray slides open for Lynn Sr. to put Luan's breakfast. She pushes her face on the glass, breathing heavily, clearly not appreciating the treatment she's been getting, and Lynn Sr. runs off screaming, which calms her down.]
Luan: "Sorry. He just makes it so easy."
Lincoln: [heads to the stairs; to the viewers] "Luan's really done a number on the family, but this year, Dad can kiss those worry ulcers goodbye. April Fool's Day has been officially neutralized." [a salami on a string hits him] "Luan, you hard salami'ed me!"
Luan: "It wasn't me! How could I have done that from in here?"
[An explosion rocks the house.]
Lincoln: "Dang it, Luan! Way too old for childish pranks, huh?" [runs off]
Luan: "Lincoln, wait! It's not me, honest!"
Lincoln: [heads up the stairs] "Oops! Watch out, Charles!"
[He reaches the living room, but an explosion knocks him on his back. When he comes to, everything is in slow motion and his family is getting pranked left and right.]
Leni & Lynn: [in slow motion] "We've been gooped!"
[Lincoln makes his way to the couch, but an explosion sends him and Lucy flying.]
Rita & Lynn Sr.: [in slow motion] "We've been PB and J'ed!"
[Lincoln snaps out of it, restoring everything back to normal.]
Lola: [Screaming] "I thought we locked up that lunatic up!"
Lincoln: "We did! She's still in the basement! I was just down there!"
Lola: "Then, how is this happening?!"
[Another explosion occurs]
Luna: [Emerges from the kitchen; her face is smokey] "Do not go in the kitchen, brahs."
Lisa: [falls down the chimney, screaming] "Or anywhere near the fireplace."
[Lynn Sr. babbles in fearful gibberish]
Rita: [Understanding him] "Your father's right. Quick, everyone, to Lisa's bunker!"
[The family goes to the bunker.]
Lynn: "Can someone turn on a light?"
Lisa: "Hold your horses, I'm looking for the switch."
[She turns it on, but they find Lisa's robots tied up.]
Todd: "WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED. RETREAT. FOR THE LOVE OF TRANSISTORS, SAVE YOURSELVES."
[Another explosion happens, covering the bunker in goop. Lynn Sr. bursts out and babbles again.]
Rita: "To the garage!"
[The Louds reach the garage, but a flock of pigeons bursts out, covering them in feathers.]


[The Louds approach Luan's cell.]
Rita: [coughs up feathers] "Luan, stop this right now!"
Luan: "I keep telling you I'm retired! There's another prankster afoot!"
[Lynn Sr. babbles]
Rita: "Your father's right. She's clearly lying. Let's get out of here."
[The family begins to leave.]
Luan: "No, that's what the prankster wants you to do. I know how they think."
Lincoln: "What if Luan's telling the truth?"
Lola: [annoyed] "Are you kidding me?!"
Lincoln: "Think about it, those pranks didn't seem like her style."
Leni: "What are you talking about? We're all covered in gross goo!"
Lincoln: "Yeah, but Luan hasn't used fresh whipped cream since the twins were in diapers. Usually she uses the spoiled stuff to draw in raccoons. Maybe we should let her help us stop whoever the real prankster is."
Rita: "We'll keep your room untouched as a memorial."
[The family leaves]
Luan: "Thanks for believing me, Lincoln."
Lincoln: "Don't make me regret it. So how do we stop the real prankster?"
Luan: "I need to examine the pranks that have been going off to see if I can tell whose style they are. So..." [raspy voice] "You have to let me out of here." [coughs; normal voice] "Sorry, I'm still waiting on that juice."
Lincoln: "Uh, let you out? Oh, I'm sorry, Luan, I don't know if I can-"
Luan: "Look, I don't want to scare you, but whoever the real prankster is, they're leading up to a grand finale. It's April Fool's 101! I can't stop that if I'm in here."
Lincoln: "Ugh, fine. I'll let you out. But I've got a few conditions."


[Lincoln heads upstairs lugging Luan wearing Lynn's hockey mask and sweat bands and tied to a dolly.]
Luan: "Ugh! Did you have to use Lynn's sweat bands and hockey mask? They stink!"
Lincoln: "It was all I could find, but you're right. The mask is cruel." [He takes off the mask, but Luan falls] "Ooh." [bursts into the bathroom with Luan] "OK, no one went in the bathroom yet, so I'm guessing there's some pranks waiting to go off in here."
Luan: [raspy voice] "Perfect, unstrap me!" [coughs; normal voice] "Sorry. I'm still waiting on that juice."
Lincoln: "Uh, I don't know."
Luan: "Do you want me to find the real prankster or not?"
Lincoln: "OK, fine."


[Charles sniffs around in the bathroom.]
Lincoln: "Shoo, Charles! It's not safe in here!"
Luan: [checks the toilet] "Hmm. Check this out!" [flushes the toilet]
Lincoln: "But-" [Luan puts up a finger. The toilet has been rigged to explode] "Whoa-" [Luan shushes him, then checks a trap involving eggs] "So have you figured it out yet?"
Luan: "Nope. Whoever set this up, they're good. They didn't leave behind a single clue. C'mon, let's keep looking."
[Lincoln accidentally activates the prank, sending eggs careening on him.]


[Vanzilla rides down the street.]
Rita: "Ah, safe at last."
Lynn Sr.: "Who wants to go to Burpin' Burger?!"
[The kids, except Lily, clamor yes]


[Back at the Loud House, Luan and Lincoln head down the stairs.]
Luan: "Stop! Something's not right."
Lincoln: "What? Where?"
Luan: "Look at the couch."
[They find "Charles" sitting like a human and drinking apple juice.]
Lincoln: [completely oblivious] "What? Charles is just sipping from a juice box. Totally normal."
[Luan gets annoyed by Lincoln's obliviousness]
Luan: [approaches "Charles"] "Charles, come here a moment."
Fake Charles: "No!"
Luan: "Now."
[Fake Charles gets off the couch and stands like a human.]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "OK. Well, I've never seen Charles do that before."
Luan: "That's because it's not Charles, Lincoln." [Fake Charles realizes that "his" cover is blown and tries to leave, only for Luan to tackle "him" and grab "him"] "It's..."
[She unmasks "Charles" as...]
Lily: "Lily!" [laughs evilly]
Lincoln: "Wait, Lily is the prankster?" [does an aside glance to the viewers in confusion]
Lily: "Duh." [tries to escape from Luan's grasp]
Luan: "Wow, this is all really impressive, Lily. The whipped cream, the toilet rocket..."
Lincoln: "Luan, focus!"
Luan: "Oh, right. Sorry. Lily, you've gotta call off your grand finale right this minute."
Lily: "No, don't want to." [presses a button on her bone, revealing the family]
Luan: "A dog bone remote? Well played."
Lincoln: "Luan, focus!"
Luan: "Right, right. Lily, please, you have to stop."
[Back in Vanzilla.]
Lynn Sr.: "Alright, kids, here we are." [stops at Burpin' Burger]
Rita: [gets a message] "I just got a text from Luan. Lily is the prankster?!"
Lynn Sr.: "What? But Lily's right here! And she's such a little cutie!"
[He removes "Lily's" mask, revealing Charles. The family screams. Back at the Loud House.]
Lily: [laughs] "Watch this!" [presses the remote button, sealing the doors in Vanzilla.]
Lola: "We're locked in!"
[Vanzilla starts moving in a loop, much to the family's horror.]
Luan: "Oh no! She rigged Vanzilla to drive around in an endless loop!"
Lily: [menacingly] "Forever."
Luan: "That's really dark. Funny, but dark. Sorry, Lily, but Lincoln and I are here to shut it down." [Lily farts so hard she blinds Lincoln and Luan. They cough and gag, and when the gas clears, Lily is gone. They find her laughing and crawling upstairs.] "Hurry! She's getting away!" [heads upstairs] "She's in the attic!" [Lincoln and Luan head up the attic and find that Lily has set up a video monitor of their family screaming from the loop.] "Wow, she truly is a pranking genius!" [Lily pedals in on her tricycle holding a smelly diaper and laughing.] "I gotta shut down the console. Lincoln, distract her."
[Lincoln and Lily charge at each other. He fires his blaster, but she throws the diaper at him, tackles him, and starts biting him.]
Lincoln: "Luan, hurry! Her little teeth are so sharp!"
[Luan heads to the console, but steps on a booby trap and falls out of the attic.]
Luan: "Dang it. Should've seen that coming."
Lincoln: [still fighting Lily] "Luan, hurry, I can't hold her off any longer!"
Luan: [hops to the console] "Oh, hey, there's that juice I've been looking for." [drinks the apple juice]
Lincoln: "Luan, come on!"
Luan: "Right, right!"
[She squirts the juice on the console, and Vanzilla stops. Lily is disappointed her prank failed, but Rita and Lynn Sr. vomit, and she giggles.]


[Evening, the family is gathered at the living room.]
Lana: "I think I hate cars now."
[Lincoln, Luan and Lily approach. Lynn Sr. babbles]
Rita: "Lily, you're grounded until you're 16." [a torrent of water lands on the family] "Make that 21."
Leni: [tastes the water] "Ugh, it's onion water."
Luan: "Actually, that one was me." [Lily smiles while everyone else groans] "I swear, I really was retired, but after today, Lily has reignited my passion for pranking."
Lily: [fist-pumps] "Yes!"
Luan: "Hey, wait. Lily, that's why you did all this? To get me out of retirement?"
Lily: "Duh."
Luan: "Aw, thanks, you get me." [they nuzzle]
[Cut to outside the Loud House.]
Lynn Sr.: [horrified] "Two of them... we've somehow raised two of them..."

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