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The following is a transcript for the episode "Sister Act".
[In her room, Lola is giving a lecture]
Lola: "Applying ribbon glitter requires intense concentration," [revealed to be talking to her stuffed animals] "I'm gonna need you to all silence your phones." [Suddenly, a bunch of tin cans knock the glitter onto the table] "Lana!"
Lana: [On a pile of tin cans] "Oh, sorry Lols, I'm just trying to get organized for the town recycling challenge," [shows Lola the flyer] "first place gets free ice cream at Auntie Pam's parlor. But, no more noise, I promise."
Lola: "Thank you, I have a lot to prepare for."
[Picks up the glitter jar, when their father calls from downstairs]
Lynn Sr.: "Kids! Dinner's ready, make a dash, dishin' out, leftover hash."
Lana: [Excited] "Oh yeah, wonder what's in it this time. Let's see, we had liver and onions Monday, squid with sauerkraut Tuesday, lima beans-"
[Lola retches, she uses her blowdryer to clean up the glitter, but misses the trashcan, and accidentally blows it all into her twin's face. Lana coughs it up]
Lola: "Whoops, sorry Lans."
[The two look in the mirror]
Lana: [Annoyed] "Ah, all this glitter and now I look like you."
Lola: [Laughs] "You do look like me, which you know, bonus for you." [Gets an idea] "Wait a minute Lana, that gives me a brilliant idea."
[Later, everyone except Lola is in the dining room, Lana finishes and takes out a rating card]
Lana: "Okay, leftover hash, let's see; A-plus for presentation, A-plus for smell, and A-plus-plus for texture, delicate, but chinky."
Lynn Sr.: "Wow, thanks kiddo."
Lana: "Gee, I can't imagine what's keeping Lola, let me go check."
[Lana runs upstairs to their room and runs behind Lola's screen, Lola joins her with one of her dresses. Lana runs back downstairs dressed as Lola]
Rita: [Thinking it's the real Lola] "How was your day sweetie?"
Lana: [With Lola's voice] "Oh, um, you know, uh, pageants, and uh, glitter, and um, crowns, probably."
Lynn Sr.: "Ha, just another day in the life of Lola." [Gives her the hash] "Here you go."
[Lana excitedly shoves the bowl in her face, but then remembers that she's supposed to be Lola, and proceeds to eat with a spoon, pinky out, and uses a napkin. Later, she gives her dad the rating card] "Wow, a clean plate and an A-plus for texture? Last time I served leftover hash you ate the rating card and told me it tasted better. You feeling okay?"
Lana: [Still as Lola] "Oh, um, uh, I meant F." [Eats the rating card]
Lynn Sr.: "Yup, that's my Lola."
[Back in their room, Lana tosses Lola's tiara on the ground and takes off the dress]
Lana: "Lols, that worked awesome, no one suspected anything." [Belches up the rating card]
Lola: "Well, if I can ever return the favor, just let me-"
Rita: [Outside the room] "Lola, Lana, it's bath night. I"ll be inspecting fingernails, and ears."
Lana: "It's favor time."
[Later, Rita is waiting outside the bathroom]
Rita: "Nail inspection, Lola, come on out." [Lola comes out and shows Rita her nails] "Good job as always sweetie. Go tell Lana it's her turn please."
Lola: [Heads off] "Of course Mommy."
[Lola goes to their room and goes behind the screen, Lana joins her with one of her coveralls. Lola runs to the door dressed as Lana when...]
Lana: "Lola." [Tosses mud in Lola's face] "Sorry, gotta make it believable."
[Lola goes to the bathroom]
Lola: [With Lana's voice] "Sup Mom, ready for my bath."
Lana: [Offscreen] "Lola."
Lola: "I mean... Do I gotta? I like all this mud, and filth and grime."
Rita: "Bath." [Fourteen minutes later, Lola comes out] "Wow, Lana you're sparkling."
Lola: [Still as Lana] "You know it." [Realizes] "I mean, uh, don't get used to it, I got plans to hang out with some... worms... later."
[Lola hurries back into their room, where the real Lana approaches her]
Lana: "This plan was genius Lols."
Lola: "I'd say it's nothing, but we both know modesty doesn't suit me."
Lana: "I was thinking... Why stop now? We can switch places whenever we want."
Lola: [Gasps and takes Lana's hands] "We'd never have to do the things we don't like ever again."
[The twins are excited about the idea]
[At school the next day, Lana is swinging on the rope in gym, while Lola sits on the bleachers filing her nails. Coach walks up to her]
Coach Pacowski: "Get changed Princess, the rope is waiting."
Lola: "And it will continue to do so Coach P."
Coach Pacowski: "This is thirty percent of your grade kid."
Lola: "Uh." [Looks at Lana, still swinging, and smiles] "I mean right away Coach."
[Lana jumps down, and Lola clears her throat]
Lana: "Uh, I gotta pee Coach, uh, P."
[Takes Lola away]
Lola: "So do I."
[Later, Lana comes out of the changeroom with her Lola face on]
Lana: "Okay everyone, move it! Royalty comin' through." [Lana goes to the rope, and the real Lola watches from the changeroom] "If this damages my nails, you will be hearing from my attorney. Alley-oop!"
[Flies up the rope, rings the bell, and flies back down]
Coach Pacowski: [Amazed] "Wow, Lola, I've never seen that kinda hussle from you before."
Lana: [Tries to think of an excuse] "Oh, right, um, I'm in training for a Miss... Survivalist pageant."
[Hurries back to the changeroom]
[Later, they are sitting in the back of their math class]
Lana: [Lifts up the desktop, and whispers to Lola] "Ah, crud, I know Ms. Allegra's gonna call me to the board and I'm gonna beef it."
Lola: [Lifts up the desktop] "No you won't, I got this." [To Ms. Allegra] "Ms. Allegra, may I please use the little ladies' room?"
Ms. Allegra: "Of course."
[Lola winks at Lana and goes off]
Lana: "Actually, I need to go too, must be a twinsie bladder thing."
[Laughs and follows Lola. Later, they return dressed as each other]
Lola & Lana: "We're back."
Ms. Allegra: "Fantastic. Lana, why don't you come to the board and solve this problem, hmm?
Lola: [As Lana] "There's nothing I'd enjoy more, except maybe gross stuff, like eating boogers." [Goes to the board] "Marker please."
[Ms. Allegra gives the marker to what she thinks is the real Lana. Lola solves the equation and Ms. Allegra applaudes]
Ms. Allegra: "Well done, Lana."
Lola: "Oh, thank you." [Curtseys]
Ms. Allegra: [Noticing] "Oh, a curtsey? If I didn't know better, I'd think you we're Lola." [Lola looks at Lana and gasps, Lana does the same with her real voice, and Lola gasps again, also with her real voice. She nervously looks at Ms. Allegra, puts the marker down, and armpit farts] "Haha, Lana, you're so gross."
[Lola sighs with relief, followed by Lana]
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