The following is a transcript for the episode "Snow Way Out".
[The Loud House on a snowy day. Inside the house, Leni turns on her dryer and points it to a pot of goulash, as her way of defrosting it.]
Leni: "Dinner's almost ready, guys!"
[The camera zooms out, showing the Loud siblings (except Lana and Lily) watching what Leni is doing.]
Lincoln: "Uh, Leni, what are you doing?"
Leni: "Defrosting the goulash Dad left us."
Lori: "Maybe you should try the stove."
Leni: "Good idea. I was worried this would give goulash split-ends, anyway."
Lana: "Forget the goulash! My favorite racecar driver Bobbie Fletcher is holding a contest tonight at the Burpin' Burger!" [Fantasy of Lana winning the wrapper appears.] "Whoever finds a burger with a tire mark wrapper gets to be an honorary member of her pit crew!"
Bobbie: [In Lana's imagination, opens the window of her car and the window of her racing helmet.] "I see you got the winning wrapper! Welcome aboard, Lana!"
[Lana, in a racing outfit, holds a burger wrapper with tire tracks that reads WINNER. End fantasy with Lana in the same pose.]
Lana: "I know what you're gonna say. Mom and Dad left us plenty of food to eat while they're away for the weekend, but-"
[The horn on Vanzilla honks. Lana notices her siblings left and are now in the car.]
Lincoln: "You had us at "Burpin' Burger"!"
Lana: [eagerly grabs her coat] "HOPS! JACKET JUMP!"
[Hops hops right into Lana's jacket and winks at Lana.]
Lana: [rushes out the door] "Whoo-hoo! Yeah!"
Lisa: "Siblings, I'd like to call your attention to the rapidly descending ice crystals, street name, snow!"
Lana: "Fine, Lis. You can stay here and eat the goulash."
Lisa: "I call shotgun!" [rushes in]
[Burpin' Burger. Lori parks Vanzilla and the kids get out to the promotion stand.]
Announcer: "Please welcome racing champion, Bobbie Fletcher!"
[Bobbie's car comes up onto the stage with the crowd cheering. She gets out and takes off her helmet.]
Lola: "There she is!"
Bobbie: "Thanks for coming out, racing fans! I wanna give a huge thanks to my sponsor, Burpin' Burger. Let me tell ya, you can't get past the starting line without quality fuel, and mine is right here." [holds up a burger] "The Big Belcher with extra pickles." [takes a bite]
[The crowd cheers some more.]
Bobbie: "I can't wait to have one of you folks on my pit crew! All you gotta do is find the burger wrapper that looks just like this." [holds up the wrapper with tired tracks that reads WINNER] "Ladies and gentlemen, start your stomachs!" [waves the green flag]
[A horn blares and the crowd rushes into the restaurant, but Flip cuts right to the front.]
Flip: "Give me a dozen burgers, and try to make one of them the winner!"
Grant: "A dozen? Wow. You must really want to be on that pit crew."
Flip: [sarcastic] "Oh, yeah. Bippity Fletchman, huge fan."
Grant: "Actually, her name is-"
Flip: "Don't care! Just gonna sell the winning wrapper to some sucker for big bucks."
[Grant brings him his burgers.]
Flip: "Come to Flippy!" [starts opening up his wrappers.]
Lana: [begging with her fingers crossed] "No wrapper, no wrapper, no wrapper!"
Flip: "Dang it! All losers! Keep those burgers cookin', slim, 'cuz I'll be back for more once I scratch up some moolah."
[Flip leaves and the Loud Kids are next.]
Lana: "We'd like ten Big Belchers and one Baby Belcher, please."
Grant: "Okay, that'll be twenty-five dollars."
Lana: "Uh, don't worry, guys. I got this." [rummages through her pocket and picks out a gross wad with a bunch of stuff stuck to it.] "Let's see. My gum collection...banana peel...owl's foot...ah, here it is." [gives the employee a coupon]
Grant: "Oh. One of our Kids Eat Free coupons. Great." [beat] "Wait. Did you just say "owl's foot"?"
Luan: "Yeah! Isn't she a hoot?" [laughs]
Grant: [Unimpressed] "Next."
[The others are waiting and Lana brings them their burgers.]
Lana: "Alright, guys, dig in."
[The kids chow down on their burgers. When they finish, Lana looks for the wrapper, but none of them are the one.]
Leni: "Sorry we didn't find the winning wrapper, Lana."
[Hops wipes a tear from Lana with his tongue. Lisa is observing the snow.]
Lisa: "The frozen precipitation is accumulating rapidly. I suggest we skedaddle."
Lana: "Wait! Don't you guys want another round?"
Lynn: [Astonished] "We can have seconds?"
Lincoln: "How are we gonna pay for it?"
[Lana peeks out from behind the trash bin and notices the coupon still jutting out from the register.]
Lana: "Hops! Sticky snag."
[Hops grabs the coupon with his tongue.]
Lana: [Snatches it] "Bull's eye." [goes to the counter] "I'll take eleven more burgers, please. And I have another coupon." [Gives it to Grant.]
Grant: [Groans with the coupon stuck to his hand.] "Why is it so sticky?"
[Lana and Hops wink. Another round of burgers later, everyone except Lana looks queasy from eating their seconds. Lola belches.]
Lana: "Ugh. Still nothing. We have to order more burgers!"
Lisa: "Uh, in light of the worsening meteorological conditions..." [burps] "...perhaps we should follow the lead of the other patrons and amscray."
[The others are leaving]
Hefty Blonde: "Come on! Hurry, hurry, hurry!"
Unknown Woman: "I do not like the look of that sky."
Lana: "Oh, let them leave. That'll make our chances even better! Come on, you guys, one more round!"
[The others groan in nausea.]
Lincoln: [Queasy] "I can't eat anything else."
Luan: [nauseated] "I can't even joke about burgers right now."
Lana: "You don't have to eat 'em. Hops and I will take them home for breakfast."
[Hops burps and the others sigh.]
Lana: "Great. Be right back. Don't move!" [Grabs Hops and steps on Leni's legs out of the booth, waking her up.]
[Lana is behind the bin again and the coupon is still jutting out. Hops fires his tongue, but this time, Grant puts a meal on the counter, causing his tongue to hide the shake dispenser, pouring shake on the floor and making Grant slip and fall.]
Lana: "Let's try that again, buddy."
[Hops lands his tongue on the coupon this time, but Grant grabs it.]
Grant: "Hey, you little sneak!" [Tears up the coupon] "You want more burgers, you gotta pay for them!"
Lana: [Nervous] "Okay, um, not a prob." [Gathers up loose change under the booths, in the potted plants plus a worm for Hops, under the table with some gum, and in the ball pit; pours little change and some junk on the counter.] "Eleven more burgers, please."
Grant: [Grossed out] "Jeez." [Reaches for one of the pieces of junk.]
Lana: [Grabs it] "Whoops. That's my chicken beak."
[Grant, disgusted, takes the rest, puts it in the register, and gives Lana the burgers.]
Grant: "Are you guys almost done? I wanna get outta here. I rode my bike to work."
Lana: "Don't worry. We'll be leaving soon. I got a great feeling about this batch."
[All the wrappers are unwrapped.]
Lincoln: "Sorry, Lana. I don't have it."
Luna: "Me neither, dude."
Luan: "Same here. I guess that's a wrap!" [laughs and realizes the bad timing.] "Oh. Sorry."
[Only one wrapper left. Lana opens it up, and it's not the winner.]
Lana: [Heartbroken] "Dang it. I guess I'm not gonna be on Bobbie Fletcher's pit crew."
Leni: [Grossed out] "Ew! Someone wrapped my burger in this dirty old rag!"
[She's actually holding the winning wrapper.]
Lana: [overjoyed] "LENI! YOU FOUND IT! YOU FOUND IT!" [Takes it and laughs]
Grant: "Finally!" [puts on his helmet and closes up the counter.]
Lana: [laughs some more] "Finding this wrapper means the world to me! Thanks for all your help, guys."
Lynn: "Alright, now let's get home so I can let 'em rip in privacy."
Lucy: [gags; to Luna and Luan] "Can I bunk with you guys tonight?"
[They're about to leave. Leni opens the door and walks into some white stuff, making her siblings gasp.]
Leni: "Oops. This must be the closet where they keep their snow."
Lincoln: "No, Leni. We're snowed in."
[Outside shows that they are indeed trapped.]
Luna: "Aw, man. Are we gonna be stuck here all night?"
Grant: [Devastated] "No! I just worked a twelve hour shift! I can't take another second in this greasy dungeon!"
[He tries to cycle his way through the snow, but it's useless. The kids pull him out and put him in a chair.]
Luan: "Sorry, buddy, there's snow way out!" [giggles]
[Grant starts crying. Suddenly, a loud engine is heard and some tires screech, causing a thud, and it turns out to be Flip.]
Flip: "Guess who just earned a bunch of cheddar digging stranded suckers out of the snow?" [holds out his money] "Lay a dozen burgers on me, bicycle boy!"
Lana: "You can save your cheddar. I already found the winning wrapper."
Flip: "What?! Bull hockey! That baby was gonna make me a fortune! I'm out!"
Lincoln: "Flip, wait! Can you give us a ride home? We're stuck here."
Flip: "Stuck, are ya? I can help you out...for a price. Let's say, uh, I don't know...one winning wrapper?"
Lana: "What? No way! Guys, we worked so hard for this. I'll get us home, I promise!"
Flip: "Suit yourself, but this offer expires the second that door hits my keister."
[Grant latches onto Flip.]
Grant: [frantic] "Wait! I'll give you anything! My employee discount!"
Flip: "Throw in a jumbo sack of curly fries and you got a deal!"
Grant: [Grabs the sack and runs out.] "I'm free!"
Flip: [To the kids] "Catch ya on the Flip side!" [leaves]
Lori: "Well, I hope you know what you're doing, Lana, because I am literally not sleeping on hamburger wrappers."
Lana: "No worries. Flip's truck cleared the path, so we just need to make it to Vanzilla."
[Flip's truck backs right into the restaurant.]
[As he drives away, more snow falls and blocks the exit, making the kids groan.]
Lana: "Guys, I got this. Trust me. I'll get us out." [looks behind the counter and finds some fry scoops.] "And I know just how to do it."
[Lana is digging through the snow with the fry scoops and smells something.]
Lana: "Leaking gas and old string cheese." [sniffs some more] "We're close to Vanzilla. Charles has been giving me bloodhound lessons." [digs all the way to one of Vanzilla's doors.] "There you are, old girl! I'll have you out in a jiffy." [unearths Vanzilla] "Hey, guys! We're going home!"
[The kids are now in Vanzilla.]
Lori: "You literally did it, Lans!"
Lana: "Thanks!" [the others cheer for her] "Ha! And you guys wanted me to give my wrapper to Flip."
[Lori tries to start the engine up, but it doesn't start.]
Lana: "Hmm...better check out the engine block..." [opens the hood] "of ice?"
[The others groan]
Lola: "If you'd just let Flip give us a ride, we'd be home by now!"
Lori: [groans while looking at her phone] "There's no signal here! I'm gonna warm up inside and use the landline!"
[The others go back in the restaurant.]
Lana: "Don't worry, Hops. We'll figure this out." [Gets an idea] "I know just the thing." [Goes inside and brings back something] "Burger warming lamp!"
[She turns it on, but it short circuits and causes a blackout in the restaurant.]
Lana's Siblings: "Dang it."
[The kids are shivering in the dark.]
Lori: "No signal. No landline. Bobby has no idea where I am. I feel so alone."
Lola: "Bobby is the least of our problems! I'm so cold I can't feel my tushie!"
Lincoln: "Come on, guys. We need to stay positive. We could be here all night."
[Hops notices this, hops to Lana, and gets her attention while she's trying to defrost the engine.]
Lana: "Hops, not now. We'll play later." [Hops grabs her and leads her back to the restaurant.] "Hops!"
[Hops shows Lana the condition her siblings are in. Lily starts coughing.]
Lori: "Oh, poor thing. I'll keep you warm."
Leni: [with napkins she put together] "I made cute shawls. Who wants one?"
Lola: "I'd rather freeze my tushie off than be seen wearing n-n-napkins!"
Lucy: "If we huddle together and conserve our dwindling body heat, we may be able to stave off hypothermia."
[They all huddle up]
Lucy: "I forgot how much I hate huddling."
Lana: [guilty] "Aw, man. I've been so selfish." [crawls back]
[Later, a rumbling occurs and in comes what looks like a snow monster, making Lana's siblings scream in horror, but it shakes and reveals to be Flip.]
Lincoln: "Flip? What are you doing here?"
Lana: [appears behind him] "I tracked him down. I just followed the smell of curly fries and B.O."
Lisa: "You went out in these conditions? You could have lost a digit to frostbite."
Lana: "I had to. I couldn't let you guys suffer all night because of me. So now Flip will take us home."
Flip: "Right after I get that wrapper."
[Lana reluctantly hands the wrapper over to Flip, to everyone's shock.]
Lincoln: "We know how much that wrapper meant to you. Thanks for giving it up and getting us out of here." [hugs Lana]
[The others join in]
Lynn: "Thanks, Lans."
Luna: "Mighty dece of you."
Luan: "We know how much this means to you, Lana."
[Flip's truck is pushing through the snow when they notice someone else out there.]
Flip: "Well, lookie here, another sucker."
[It's revealed to be Bobbie Fletcher, and Flip just drives right past her.]
Flip: "Sit tight, chief! I'll be back for you later!"
Lana: "Wait! That's Bobbie Fletcher! Stop, Flip! We have to help her!"
[Flip sighs and backs up to Bobbie's car and Lana gets out to her hero.]
Lana: "Excuse me, Ms. Fletcher? What happened?"
Bobbie: "Engine died. This baby can hit two-ten in the straightaway, but throw a little snow at her and she conks out."
[Lana looks at the engine.]
Lana: "Mind if I-"
Bobbie: "It's all yours."
[Lana is working on the engine.]
Lana: "See if she'll turn over now."
[Bobbie tries it and it works.]
Bobbie: "Dang! My pit crew isn't even that fast. What's your name, sport?"
Lana: [proud] "Lana Loud."
Bobbie: "Well, thank you, Lana Loud;" [gives Lana her business card] "give me a call when you're eighteen. I could use someone like you on my team."
Lana: "Wow! Thanks!"
[Lana goes back into Flip's truck, her siblings cheer]
Lori: "Way to go, Lana!"
[Flip is unimpressed and rolls down his window.]
Flip: "Hey, Bippity Fletchman! She may have fixed your car, but I'm the one who brought her here. How about a little something for me?"
Bobbie: "Coming right up, pal."
[Bobbie revs up her engine and speeds off, blasting some snow all over Flip.]
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