The following is a transcript for the episode "Sofa, So Good."
Script[]
[In the Loud House living room, Rita and Lynn Sr. are by the stairs] Lynn Sr.: "Kids, can you come here a sec?" [Nothing happened] "Well, that's weird. Where is everyone?" Rita: "I've got this, honey. Oh, kids! We have a surprise!" [Their kids rush to the living room couch while accidentally spinning their Dad] Lola: "You were saying about a surprise for me?" Lynn Sr.:[Facing the opposite direction] "Your mother and have been talking..." [His wife turns him back the right way]
"Oh, hey everybody. And since it's been seven days since we had any house or life-threatening disasters..." [He runs off and comes back with a calendar; Rita marks off today with an X] Rita: "We thought you all deserve a big surprise." [The kids gasp] Lynn Sr.:[leaves] "Just keep that streak going a little bit longer." Rita: "And we'll be back with the surprise by 4!" [She leaves and closes the door] Lincoln: "I bet it's an indoor pool." Lucy: "I bet it's a family burial plot." Lana: "I bet it's a Clydesdale." Lynn: "I bet it's tickets to Jelly Wrestlefest 1 15!" Lincoln:[Knowing what Lynn will do] "No. No. [Lynn does a wrestling jump and landed on Lincoln as he groans] Lisa:[clears throat]"You can call me the proverbial wet blanket, stick in the mud, resident sourpuss but,[pulls out calculator] based on statistical averages,[shows the result] there's a 98.3% probability that we're going to mess up before the day is out." Luan:[in disbelief] "You're joking, right?" Lynn:[in disbelief] "No way!" Lucy: "Sigh." Lisa: "Mmm, it's the immutable law of the Loud house. [puts away calculator] Past behavior is correlated to future behavior. [shows the result] Just like I know that Lynn will rebut this proposition with flatulence.[points at Lynn]" Lynn: "Pssh.[jumps away from Lincoln]You know what I think of that?"[farts as her siblings look away in disgust. Lynn laughs as Lincoln moves near the lampshade] Lincoln: "Look guys, maybe there's some truth to what Lisa is saying. But, if we just sit down and chill out, that indoor pool is as good as ours. What do ya say?"[The sisters agree] Lana: "So it's gonna be a Clydesdale. But, whatever."[Lynn and Lincoln sit down] Lynn:[feeling discomfort] "Ugh. Lana, move over." Lana: "I can't! Lola is on my leg." Lola: "I'm not on your leg, Lana. I'm stuck in the disgusting butt groove Lynn put in the couch" Lana: "Who's on my leg?" Lynn: "Move over!" [All except Lisa begin a small quarrel] Lisa:[calling it]"And here it comes." [Everyone begins fighting as an enveloping smoke covers the screen while Lynn's hand grabs Lisa into the fight cloud while also revealing the mess they have caused in the living room. The Loud siblings are exhausted and a mess afterwards.] Lincoln: "Uh, Luan, what's going on up there?"[Most of the siblings look up to the ceiling, revealing Luan stuck whilst sitting.] Luan: "Looks like we've got a sit-uation." [The couch legs begins to break] Leni: "Why are we like this?" Lucy: "We're never getting that surprise." Lincoln:[determined]"Yes we are! Mom and Dad won't be home until four. We can wash the furniture, put it outside to dry, and fix the rest of this mess before they get home! Who's with me?"[Lincoln puts his hand in the middle] [The sisters all agree as Luan falls down while still sitting. She clears her throat as she puts her hand in the middle.] Lincoln:[everyone puts their hands in the middle]"Team Clean on three! One! two! three!" Siblings:[they all raise their hands off-screen]"Team Clean!" [Lincoln performs a magic trick to clean a lamp, Lucy uses her hair to clean the frames, Lola wipes the couch with a rag, Lynn brings the furniture outside, Lana is using Cliff to clean spilled milk, Luna and Leni put the frames together while giving thumbs up, Lynn fixes a door, and Lily seals the crack on the ceiling as Todd helps her get down] Lincoln: "We did it! All we have to do is bring the furniture back in." [The siblings show up outside where Lynn threw the furniture when they discover...] Lincoln: "Uh, guys, where's the furniture?" [After a moment of realization, the Loud siblings begin to panic along with Todd releasing a siren.] Loud siblings: "Where is it? Oh no. Where is it? Where is..." Luan: "There it is! [pointing at the garbage truck which took all their furniture] Stop that truck!"[they all chase after it] Loud siblings: "Wait! Stop!" Lynn: "I'll get his attention!"[they all halt] Lana: "Huh?" [Lynn then proceeds to grab Lana and take her shoe, throws it aiming at the truck only to hit Mr. Grouse instead, knocking him unconscious. The Louds only look on in slight surprise] Lynn: "Huh. Okay then. We should head down to the dump. [she runs off first, only to tell her siblings to go.] Like, right now.[they all head off.]"
[Cut to the Louds at the Royal Woods Dump searching for their furniture.] Lana:[emerges out of the pile of trash, sighs.] "I don't get it. Our stuff should be here." Lynn: "Hey, check it out. [pulls something out.] Found our cushion! I recognize my butt grooves anywhere, dude."[They all gather near her.] Luna: "But where's the rest of the couch? And everything else?" [Suddenly, a truck passes by them carrying all their furniture. The Loud siblings all gasp at the sight of their furniture. Lincoln takes notice of the truck's name that reads...] Lincoln: "Dom's Driving and Dumpster Diving?" Lola: "And he's got our stuff!" [Gasps as Lynn grabs her upside-down] Lynn: "I'll get his attention!" Lola:[Lynn then takes off Lola's shoe...]"No, no, no, no,"[...then throws it at the truck]"NO!" [The shoe hits the truck's signboard and falls off, revealing another signboard that says Flip's Food and Fuel 555-01X0. The Louds all gasp knowing who took their furniture.] Lincoln:[with a mean look]"Flip. We shoulda known."[points at him while looking at his sisters]"To the Food & Fuel!" [All of them run off to Flip's.]
[At the Food & Fuel, Flip is combing his moustache when the Loud kids enter] Lincoln: "Flip! You hauled off all out furniture from the dump and we need it back." Lynn: "Yeah, we're this close to getting jelly wrestling tickets from our parents and if we lose our stuff it ain't happening." Flip: "Woah, woah, woah. I don't know what you're talking about." [Smiles] "Oh, you must be looking for Dom." [Presses his remote, activating one of his side hustles] Lola: "Tucker's Tix & Tux?" [Flip panics and tries the remote again] Lana: "Pat's Pawn & Prawns?" [Flip starts pressing the remote with frustration, setting off all of his side hustles] Lisa: "Fascinating, I've never seen someone in the throws of an active identity crisis before." [Flip keeps trying, but smashes the remote in frustration, ironically setting off the side hustle he was going for… Dom's Driving & Dumpster Diving] Flip: "Ah, now, where were we? Oh, right. Old Domo don't got your stuff." Loud kids: "What!?" Flip: "I sold them to some locals, my guess is it spread out all over Royal Woods by
now." [The kids sigh]
[Outside, Lincoln spreads out a crude map of Royal Woods] Lincoln: "Thanks to Lola we got the list of people who bought our stuff from Flip." [They look inside the Food & Fuel, where Nacho is holding up a mirror, in which Flip is admiring himself with a tiara on] Flip: "Yeah, you know you're right, it really does complete my look." Lola:[Takes out another crown to put on] "It's fine, that's just my third place crown from the Little Miss Fertilizer pageant, I never was able to get the smell off it." Lincoln: "Anyway, I marked the locations on this map. Luna and Luan, you'll bring back our armchair." [They give a thumbs up] "Leni and Lola, you'll get our floor lamp." [They high-five] "Lana and Lucy, the TV is yours." [They fist bump] "Lisa and Lily, you're on end table duty." [Lily hugs Lisa, who enjoys it] "Lynn, you and I got the coffee table." [Lynn gives a thumbs up. Lincoln takes out some cash] "Everyone have their allowances?"
[Almost everyone takes out some cash. Lucy has a bejewelled skull, Lily her bottle, and Leni a candy bar]
[Later, someone is throwing stuff into an industrial wood chipper. It's Mr. Bolhofner, who is listening to music on headphones and dancing. He takes a dresser] Lynn: "Look there's our coffee table." [She and Lincoln are watching from behind a tree] Lincoln: "I can't believe Bolhoffner bought our table just to shred it." Lynn: "That's probably how the Hoff de-stresses. Quick, now's our chance." [They grab their table, when suddenly, Mr. Bolhofner starts shimmying uncomfortable close to Lincoln, seemingly deciding to shred whatever he touches next. Lincoln dodges Mr. B and Lynn throws a watermelon into his hands. Mr. Bolhofner goes back to his shredding.] Lincoln: "Nice save there, Lynn." [Takes out his cash] "Now let's leave the money and get outta…" [The watermelon gets all over Lincoln. He groans and Lynn is amused]
[At Chateau Royal Condos, Lana and Lucy are on the top balcony, listening in on Cheryl and Meryl] Cheryl: "Oh, Mery, Mery, I sure do love our new tub TV." [Lana and Lucy enter the opened balcony door. Cheryl and Meryl are in their bathtub, watching Crime Time TV on the Loud's TV which has been placed on the toilet] "We're livin' our best life, girl." [Outside the bathroom, Lana nods to her snake, sets it loose, and joins Lucy behind the potted plant. Cheryl and Meryl are heard freaking out. They run out of the bathroom together] Meryl: "Snake!" [Lana and Lucy run into the bathroom and get their TV] Lana:[Seeing her snake exit the tub] "Good job, buddy." [They leave and place the cash on the toilet]
[Next, at the Royal Woods Auction House] Auctioneer: "Our next item is this beautiful floor lamp." [Leni and Lola take their seats] "Let the bidding begin at five dollars." [Lola raises her paddle] I have five dollars, do I have ten? Looks like I have ten." Lola:[Confused] "Ten? From who?" [Raises her paddle again] Auctioneer: "Looks like I have twenty, do I have thirty? Looks like I have thirty, do I have forty? Lola:[Getting mad] "What!? Who else is bidding!?" Leni:[Waving her paddle in front of her face] "Wow, this fan really cools you down." [Lola growls]
[Back at the house, the kids rush in with all the furniture they re-collected. Lincoln takes a breath] Lincoln:[In their almost complete living room] "We pulled it off." [They all cheer and prepare to take a seat together, only to land on the floor, having forgotten one thing] Luan: "We forgot the couch! Who did Flip sell it to?" Lincoln:[Takes out the map] "He didn't say." Luna:[Looks out the window] "Huh? That's cause he has it, dudes!" [Flip is driving his tow truck right outside the house, pulling the Louds' couch, with Scoots and Tyler sitting on it] Lincoln:[Growls] "Dang it, Flip!"
[Flip is driving along, when Lincoln catches up with him on foot] Lincoln: "Hey, Flip, what are you doing?" Flip: "Ain't it obvious? I'm given' romantic couch rides around Royal Woods. I put the love in loveseat." [Tyler is massaging Scoot's feet] Lincoln: "Flip, we need our couch back, now." Flip: "Uh-uh. I'm not giving up this new business opportunity, I even made hearts out of sausages. It goes down as the heart comes out as a fart. Hit it, Nacho!" [Nacho starts playing romantic accordion music and Flip pulls away as Lincoln stops to catch his breath. His sisters walk up to him] Lisa: "Negotiations didn't go well, I take it." [Suddenly, Leni gets a text] Leni: "It's a text from Dad." [Her siblings gasp] "Oh, he just wants me to take chicken out of the freezer." [Her siblings sigh with relief, then Leni gets another text] "Also they're on their way home." [Everyone gasps again] Lucy: "RIP to our surprise." Luna: "Bummer, dude." Lana: "We're never getting that Clydesdale." Leni: "Why are we like this?" Lincoln: "We're not giving up now. If Flip doesn't want to give us our couch back we're gonna take it back."
[Lisa's drone is in the air] Lisa: "My drone has Flip going due East down Monroe Avenue." [Lincoln and Lynn are on their bikes] Lincoln:[Into his walkie talkie] "We're on it, Lis." [He an Lynn turn a corner. Flip drives down the road followed by Lisa's drone. He makes a sharp right with Lincoln and Lynn in hot pursuit] Lisa: "Lola, Lana, he's headed your way." [Flip passes a shrub. The twins burst out of the shrub in Lola's jeep] Lana: "We have a visual." [Suddenly the twins gasp and Lana slams the brakes] Lola: "Holy high heels, we got a problem." [Flip is headed for an intersection where Vanzilla is waiting, with Lynn Sr. and Rita rocking out inside. Lincoln and Lynn pull up] Lincoln: "Oh no, Flip is gonna drive right by Mom and Dad. They'll see the couch." Lynn: "Lana, go. I'll get their attention." [Lana drives and Lynn goes for her brother's shoe] Lincoln: "Oh no you don't. Use your own shoes." Lynn: "Pfft. Well you're no fun." [Takes her own shoe off instead and throws it. Lynn Sr. and Rita are rocking out when they hear something and turn around. The action happening on the road goes right past them unnoticed] Lynn Sr.: "Was that your sick bass drum or did a shoe just hit Vanzilla?" [Rita's not sure. Meanwhile, the twins have gained on Flip. Lola takes out her safety scissors and cuts the towing line, which sends the lovebirds flying. They land unharmed and the twins pull up] Lola: "Tour's over, lovebirds." Tyler: "Hey, that's not fair we still have ten minutes." Lola: "How about a refund?" [Takes out more cash]
[Back at the house, Lynn patch up any damages on their couch, Lily finds a heart-shaped sausage and attempts to eat it, but someone takes it away. Finally Mr. Coconuts does a light dusting. The kids pant with exhaustion around the not-so-perfect couch] Lynn Sr.: "Kids, we're home." [He ands Rita enter] "And we've got the surprise." [The kids are all sitting innocently on the couch] Rita: "Oh look at them, Lynn, all sharing the couch like a bunch of… sweaty angels. Why are you all so sweaty?" Lynn: "Waiting on a surprise is hard work." Lola: "Yeah, gimme, gimme." Lynn Sr.: "Well, like we were saying earlier you kids have been so good around the house lately we just thought--" [Suddenly, there is a rabid gnawing sound. Nacho suddenly bursts out of the couch, leaving a giant hole. Suddenly the legs buckle and the springs pop, and a chuck of the ceiling falls on the coffee table, breaking it. The parents look at the kids suspiciously] "What the heck is going on in here?!" [The kids look at each other and sigh] Lincoln: "We really messed up." Lynn: "Yeah, after you guys left we busted up the living room." Leni: "Then we tried to clean up but lost the furniture and ended up running all over town to get it back." Lisa: "Hence our overactive eccrine glands, street name…" Lynn Sr.: "Sweatiness, we know. Look, I'm not jazzed about the cover up. But at least you guys tried to make things right." Rita: "And this is a big family, mishaps come with the territory. It's the law of the Loud house." Lisa: "Preach, Mother, preach." Luna: "Still, we're so sorry about the couch, dudes." Rita:[Looks at Lynn Sr.] "Maybe you should come see what's outside." [The kids look and gasp with delight. The surprise is revealed to be a brand-new couch that looks exactly like the old one.] Lincoln: "A brand new couch?" Rita: "We thought it was time for a new one." [The kids, minus Lynn, come out to enjoy it] Luan: "It's beautiful." Lisa: "Impressive." Leni: "Fabulous." Lana: "Wow this material is definitely puke resistant." Lucy: "Yet soft enough for an eternal nap." [Lies down on it] Lincoln: "It's not an indoor pool, but we love it." [Lynn Sr. and Rita are satisfied.] Lynn: "Guess we won't be needing this anymore." [She's carrying the old couch on one shoulder and throws it right onto the curb. Flip immediately shows up] Flip: "Eh, couch rides are back on!" [Drives off, towing the couch again]
