[Inside a basketball court, a basketball is rolling along the floor. It rolls up to the foot of a basketball player, Kai Kelly, who grabs it and begins dribbling it as she runs along. She throws it at the screen, and then the screen shows a closeup of her sneakers.]
Announcer: "Do you want to sky like Kai?" [She rockets out of the arena with her sneakers, and she is rocketing off the moon into space.] "The Crossover 2s will make you jump higher..." [A cheetah is shown running and roaring.] "...run faster..." [Kai runs past the cheetah backwards.] "...and change direction on a dime." [She stops by a dime, then dashes off in smoke. The smoke fades to reveal her twirling her basketball on her finger.]
Kai: "With my new signature shoe, you can sky like Kai. That's me!" [She makes a backhanded basketball shot, and the basket explodes.]
Announcer: "Crossover 2s release tomorrow in all fifty states. Commercial stunts were performed by a professional. Do not attempt to jump into space or race a cheetah." [Her sneakers are advertised.] "Sky like Kai. Shoot for the sky."
[As the advertisement finishes, the camera zooms out to reveal the commercial on the Louds' TV, which Lynn has been watching.]
Lynn: "I want those shoes!"
Leni: [She is sitting on the couch, filing her nails.] "They are super cute. But, they're gonna get scuffed up if she keeps running and throwing that ball."
Lynn: [grabs Leni] "That's the whole point, Leni! That's Kai Kelly, star forward for the Great Lakes Holy Mackerels!"
Leni: "Huh?"
Lynn: [annoyed] "Kai Crossover? Queen of the Court? The Great Slambino?! She's the basketball GOAT!"
Leni: "They let goats play basketball?"
Lynn: "Okay, stay with me, Leni. My point is: I've got the biggest tournament of the year coming up, and I've been wearing the same beat-up kicks for months now." [A closeup of her shoe on the table is shown, with a blown raspberry sound effect.] "Kai's shoes would give me the edge I need to win!" [She dashes off, then comes from the dining room with a bunch of food.] "I'm gonna go pack a bag and post up at the mall so I can be first in line for tomorrow's release."
Leni: [stands up] "I'm coming with! I need to explore this new and exciting world of basketball fashion!"
[The next morning, Lynn and Leni have a tent set up. Lynn pokes out of the tent and rubs her eye, yawning as she comes out. But she hears growling and sees a bunch of other people standing behind her in annoyance.]
Lynn: "That's right! First in line, baby!"
[Leni peeks out of the tent and yawns, and Lynn grabs a grill and places it on the ground. She takes off the lid to reveal three bratwursts.]
Lynn: "Alright, time for some breakfast brats." [She squirts ketchup and mustard onto them.] "We're gonna need the protein for some power shopping." [She tosses away the ketchup and mustard, then she sucks the three bratwursts into her mouth like a vacuum, swallowing them whole. Then, she belches out flames. She is satisfied, but then her stomach gets uneasy.] "Uh-oh." [to Leni] "I gotta hit the can!" [She begins to run off, but Leni stops her.]
Leni: "You can't go now! Everyone knows the first rule of shopping... Wait, actually, the first rule is always check the return policy. But the second rule is never leave a line."
Lynn: "Hmm, well, maybe I can tough it out." [But her stomach rumbles, and the seat of her pants bubble up.] "Nope. Not gonna make it." [checks her phone] "The store doesn't open for a few minutes. I-I'll be right back." [She dashes off, but just then...]
Store Manager: [into a bullhorn] "Good news, everybody: Sneaker Seekers is opening early today! Come and get your Crossover 2s!" [The line approaches.]
Leni: [She tries to stall for time.] "You can't open the store yet. We need to wait for my sister."
Manager: "Miss, there's a huge line of people trying to get their hands on these shoes. Let's move." [He heads inside.]
Leni: "No, she just ran to the bathroom!" [blocks the entrance] "She'll be back any second." [The crowd begins to grumble.]
Man: "She broke the second rule of shopping!"
Leni: "I'll call her right now." [grabs her phone] "But until I get in touch, no one is going in--" [The crowd runs past her, and she screams. As the crowd passes, she is spun around like a top. She stops, dizzy.]
Lynn: [She comes back and grabs Leni.] "Leni, what happened?!" [Leni mumbles incoherently, so Lynn picks her up and puts her aside. But before she can go into the store, the manager places a sign at the entrance reading "Sold Out of Crossover 2's".] "Sold out?! Already?!" [exhales] "Stay calm, LJ. There are a bunch of other shoe stores nearby." [She dashes past Leni, spinning her around again. Leni mumbles as she stops, so Lynn takes her hand and runs off, leaving behind one of Leni's shoes.]
[Inside the mall, Lynn and Leni enter another shoe store called Rick's Kicks.]
Lynn: "There! I see the display!" [The sign advertising the Crossover 2s is shown, but there's a fight cloud brawl below it. Lynn runs over to it and jumps into the brawl, and she pokes out of the top.] "I got a pair!" [But as the other customers run away, Lynn is shown to not be wearing the Crossover 2s, but instead a pair of fuzzy sheep slippers. She falls to the ground, looks at the slippers, and a sheep bleating is heard.] "Dang it!"
[Lynn and Leni approach Laces and More, and they approach the checkout register.]
Lynn: "Do you have any Crossover 2s left?"
Cashier: "Hey, you're in luck. We have one pair." [He points to the box, and it sparkles. The box is on top of a display case with basketballs and other shoes.]
[Lynn grins, but then another girl walks up beside her, just as eager to get the shoes. They notice each other, then they glare at each other. They run toward the display, and Lynn begins climbing it. She reaches the top and is about to grab the last pair of Crossover 2s, but the other girl bounces off a trampoline and grabs them first.]
Lynn: "Hey!" [loses her balance] "Whoa-oh-oh!" [She falls to the ground, and the basketballs hit her on the head.]
Leni: [She is wearing a pair of glasses and gasps.] "Ooh, do you think these basketball glasses come in a cat-eye style?"
Lynn: [whines] "I need those shoes!" [stands up in anger] "Is that too much to ask?!" [She kicks a basketball, which is launched right through a mannequin, destroying. Lynn and the cashier approach its stand.] "Oh, uh, sorry about that." [The cashier puts the mannequin's body back on its legs.] "We've been looking all over for those shoes, but they're sold out everywhere." [She hands the mannequin's head to him.]
Cashier: "Huh, they are a hot ticket item." [places the head back on] "And to think...Kai just tosses out the pair she wore after every game."
Lynn: "Wait, really?"
Cashier: "Yeah! All the pros do." [Leni approaches, wearing three pairs of the basketball glasses.] "I-I read about it on a sneaker blog. Somewhere in the Great Lakes Arena are a buttload of lightly used Crossover 2s."
Lynn: [gasps in awe] "Hmm..." [She gets an idea.]
[The scene transitions to the Royal Woods Arena.]
Leni: [She is wearing a Mackerels jersey and sweatpants.] "Wow! The Mackerels Merch Store is amaze! How cute is this jersey?"
Lynn: "The players are on the court for warmups. Come on, this way!" [A restricted alleyway is shown. Down the hall, Lynn peeks out from the corner, and she and Leni come out.] "There's the locker room. Time to nab me some lightly-used Crossover 2s. It's game time!" [She and Leni stack hands.] "And...break!"
Leni: [She rips off her sweatpants, revealing basketball shorts underneath them, and she yells loudly.] "WHOO! Go team!"
[The two sisters tiptoe up to the door, but before they can enter the door is kicked outward, knocking them back. They stand up in a daze, and they hide behind the corner. Lynn peeks out and sees Stern Fern emerge.]
Stern Fern: [into her radio] "Fern here. Locker room secured."
Lynn: "Crud! That's Stern Fern! She's the most feared arena security guard in the biz!" [gets nervous] "Let's just say she and I have a, uh, dicey past."
[Flashback: Stern Fern slides on the ice hockey rink as Lynn slides past the security guards.]
Lynn: "Ha-ha! See ya!"
Travis: "Ooh! Stern Fern is not liking this."
[Lynn begins huffing, but Stern Fern pounces on her as the crowd cheers. End of flashback.]
Lynn: "If Fern even gets a whiff of me, it's game over and I'll never get those shoes! We need to call an audible."
Leni: "Lynn, years of customer service has taught me how to handle these kinds of people." [She cracks her fingers and walks up to Fern, whistling.]
Stern Fern: "Hey, blondie! Stop that whistling! Only I'm allowed to whistle in these halls."
Leni: "OMGosh! Has anyone ever told you that you have amazing eyelashes?"
Stern Fern: [blushes] "I got 'em from my dad, Stern Vern."
Leni: [holds up a mascara stick] "I have a mascara that could really take your icy glare to the next level."
Stern Fern: "Well..."
Leni: "Now...close your eyes." [Stern Fern shrugs and does so, and Leni begins applying the mascara. As she does, she gestures to Lynn, who sneaks behind them and into the hallway.]
Lynn: "Training room, no. Film room, no. Laundry room..." [Her phone buzzes, and it's Leni.]
Leni: "So I stalled Fern for as long as I could. But be careful, she's on the move again."
Lynn: [She hears Fern whistling.] "Oh, no!" [She looks back and sees Fern's shadow approaching.] "Uh... uh..." [She notices a laundry bin and jumps into it. Fern, who now has blush and icy blue eyeshadow, approaches and stops.]
Stern Fern: "Hmm..." [Lynn whimpers quietly inside the bin, and Fern looks at herself in the mirror. She smiles and pats her hair, and she walks away. As she does, Lynn starts to climb out of the bin.]
Lynn: "Phew."
Coach: [offscreen] "Alright Mackerels, you know the drill." [The team comes into the locker room.] "Sweaty towels, socks, and anything else that stinks, in the bin." [Lynn quickly hides inside it again, and the players drop their sweaty clothes into it. Lynn groans under the smelly clothes.]
Lynn: [pokes out her head, panting] "Huh?"
[The coach is pushing the bin. She opens the door to the laundry room, which has a mountain of smelly uniforms, and throws the pile inside. As she closes the door, Lynn pops out, coughing and gasping for air. She pushes against one nostril, and she blows a pair of shorts out of her nose. Then her phone buzzes again.]
Leni: [She now has a headband and foam finger.] "Did you find the locker room yet?"
Lynn: [walks out] "Ugh! No dice. I need to find a way to blend in so I can move more freely." [Suddenly, she notices the mascot costume walking by.] "Bingo." [She takes out a half-eaten corn dog and some cash.] "Twenty bucks and a half-eaten corn dog should get me that costume."
[Lynn is shown wearing the costume, but she's still carrying her money.]
Lynn: [stunned] "Can't believe she only wanted the corn dog." [She puts her money away and puts on the mackerel head, and she walks off. But as she opens a door...]
Fan 1: "Look, everyone! It's Holly!" [A group of kids run over to Lynn, cheering. Lynn tries to back away, but she slips on the costume's tail and flops like a dry fish. The fans surround her and cheer as she stands up.]
Fan 2: "I want an autograph!"
Fan 3: "I want a selfie!"
Fan 1: "Does this hurt?" [She bites the costume's eye.]
Stern Fern: "Hey!" [pushes through the fans] "Mitts off the mackerel!" [The kids dash off, and Fern approaches Lynn. Fern is suspicious] "Hmph, you look shorter than when I saw you earlier." [Inside the costume, Lynn gulps.] "Your gulp is different, too." [She reaches for the costume's head, but then they players come back in.]
Fan 4: "Whoa! It's the team!" [They dash past Fern and cheer, and she's shocked. As the team walks past, they give the kids high-fives. But then the kids notice someone and gasp.]
Lynn: "Huh?"
[From the doorway comes a silhouette twirling a basketball. As it enters the locker room, it is revealed to be Kai Kelly herself. Kai approaches Lynn in the costume.]
Kai: "Oh-ho! There's my girl, Holly. Secret pregame finshake?"
Lynn: [gobsmacked] "Oh..."
Kai: [grabs the costume fin, confused] "Okay, let me just--" [She fist bumps the costume's hand.]
Lynn: "Huh?" [She giggles and goes along with the handshake.]
Kai: [She approaches the arena and performs a ball trick.] "Whoo! Who's ready to watch us ball out?"
[The fans cheer and follow her out, with Stern Fern pursuing them.]
Stern Fern: "Hey! No touching the athletes!"
Lynn: "Yes! Finally, the locker room!" [She opens the door.] "Uh-huh..." [She scans the lockers.] "Equipment locker!" [She takes off the head of her costume.] "Bingo!" [She approaches the locker, throws the costume away, and opens the locker. A bunch of Crossover 2s fall over her, but she holds up a pair.] "Victory!" [sniffs them] "Ah, nothing like that semi-new shoe smell."
[As Lynn sneaks back out of the hallway, she holds the sneakers by the laces. She stuffs them under her shirt and approaches Leni.]
Lynn: "Leni!" [As Leni turns around, she now has face paint.] "Love the team spirit," [pushes Leni away] "but we gotta jet before Fern realizes I took Kai's shoes."
[Suddenly, they bump into none other than Stern Fern herself.]
Stern Fern: [She towers over the two and growls.] "Lynn Loud."
Lynn: [She scuttles backward in fear, but then she stands up.] "Fern! The In-Ferno! Fernilicious. My old bud. How, uh, long have you been standing there, pal?" [The shoes fall out of her shirt, and she chuckles sheepishly.]
[The scene cuts to the security office, where Fern has handcuffed Lynn and Leni to the chairs.]
Leni: "Fern, has anyone ever told you, you have amazing cheekbones?"
Stern Fern: [flattered] "Thanks. I got 'em from my great aunt, Laverne Fern--" [realizes] "Wait a minute! Nice try, blondie. And as for you, Lynn Loud, I'll be taking these." [She confiscates the sneakers and walks off.]
Lynn: [sighs, disappointed] "Sorry for dragging you into this, Len." [looks up] "And I'm sorry for taking your shoes without asking, Kai." [Leni gasps as the screen pans out to reveal Kai standing there. But then, Lynn realizes--] "Wait, Kai?!"
Kai: "So you're the girl who swiped my shoes?" [holds them up]
Lynn: [stammers] "Uh, uh... I..." [Leni elbows her.] "Huh?" [Lynn sighs.] "I'm so sorry. I have this huge tournament coming up and my squad is playing an undefeated team. I thought if I had a pair of your shoes, I'd be able to smoke anyone, like you do."
Kai: [chuckles] "Despite what my commercial says, I don't play well because of my shoes. It's not about what's on your feet." [points to her heart] "It's about what's in here." [points to her head] "And up here."
Leni: [gasp] "Ooh, the haircut..."
Lynn: "No. She's saying it's about heart, drive, and confidence in yourself."
Kai: "You know, I'm gonna ask Fern to cut you two loose. No harm, no foul." [She walks off, but looks back.] "And Lynn, these are yours if you want 'em." [She tosses her shoes to Lynn, and then she winks at her as she leaves.]
[Lynn looks down at the shoes, and thinks about it.]
[Royal Woods Middle School: It's Lynn's tournament.]
Travis: "Well folks, it's high drama at the Mackinac Classic. Beaverton is up a point with five seconds to go." [The score is 97 to 98.] "Can ya feel the tension, Pep?"
Pep: "I can feel my tension headache."
Travis: "Love to hear it." [On the court, Margo has the basketball, and she passes it to Lynn, who isn't wearing the Crossover 2s after all.] "Margo Roberts inbounds to Lynn Loud." [Lynn bounces the ball so hard it flies upward, then she twirls around and catches it.] "What a move! But now she's guarded by Lanky Franky at the top of the key!" [Lynn fakes around Lanky.] "Loud fakes left..." [Lynn launches through the air...] "Then straight ahead, and..." [She dunks the ball, twirling around the hoop, and the crowd cheers as she wins the game.] "What a finish!" [He grabs Pep and shakes him.] "Royal Woods wins! Royal Woods wins!" [Lynn smiles in triumph.]
Margo: [runs up] "You pulled it off, Lynn! And all without those new shoes!"
Lynn: "Well, Margo, as my close personal friend, Kai Kelly says... 'It's not about the shoes.'" [They walk off together.] "Besides, they're being put to good use."
[Outside, it is revealed that Lynn has given the shoes to Leni instead. She is wearing them and showing them to Tanya.]
Leni: "These really tie the whole look together! And they're comfy, too!" [A basketball rolls up beside her. She glances back at a group of students playing basketball.]
Student: "Hey, you wanna hoop with us?"
Leni: "And scuff up my new shoes? No way!" [She tosses the ball away, and it makes it into the basket to the students' shock, ending the episode.]
