The following is a transcript for the episode "Space Invader".
Script[]
[The girls are all in the bathroom getting ready to go to bed; Leni is brushing her hair, Luan is flossing, Lola and Lana are brushing their teeth, Lily is taking a little bath in the sink, Lori is applying dabs of ointment on her face, Luna is rubbing some purple facial cream, Lucy and Lynn are fighting over the toothpaste, and Lisa is jotting down notes.] Luna:[singing] "♫ I'm washin' my face, 'cause it makes me feel so beautiful. ♫" Luan:[gets floss stuck in her braces] "Hey, look! I'm at a floss for words!" [laughs] Leni: "I brush my hair exactly 50 times a night to keep it beautiful. 34...35...36..." Lori: "Hey, Leni, how old was that boy that asked you out?" Leni:[losing count thanks to Lori] "16...17...18..." [Lori smiles slyly at the viewers because of her little joke] Lynn: "Hey! I had the toothpaste first!" Lucy: "No, I did." Lynn: "Keep your spooky hands off it!" [While the girls get ready, Lincoln pops in and looks around and snatches the toothpaste out of Lynn's hand.] Lincoln: "I'll take that." Lynn: "Hey! Learn to share!" [Lincoln accidentally dabs toothpaste on Lily's head and hands the tube back to Lynn.] Lincoln:[to the viewers] "Space...the final frontier. As you might imagine, with ten sisters, space is limited." [notices he missed his toothbrush and gets the paste off Lily's head.] "Everywhere you go, you gotta deal with the crowds. But being the only boy in the family comes with a perk." [enters his room and pauses] "You hear that? Me neither. While my sisters all have to share bedrooms, I get my own. Sure it's just a converted linen closet, but it's my own space. My own little oasis in the sands of the Loud House. And I wouldn't give it up for the world." [Before he starts brushing his teeth, at that very moment, a loud thud is heard, Lincoln goes up to Lynn and Lucy's room where the other girls are listening; Lynn and Lucy are having a fight.] Lynn: "You're always Miss Gloom and Doom! Like, would it kill you to smile once in a while?!" Lucy: "It would." Lincoln: "What's going on?" Lori: "Lucy and Lynn are going at it. Again." Luan: "I'd make a joke about fighting, but I can't think of a good punchline." [laughs] "Get it? Get it?" Lisa:[recording] "Human subjects seem to be proving Charles Darwin correct." Leni: "I can't bear to watch!" [puts cucumber slices over her facial mask] "That's better." [A jock strap comes flying out of the room and the others duck in time to avoid it.] Lori: "I'd hate to get in the middle of this one." Lincoln: "I totally agree." [goes back to his room while the jock and goth of the family continue their quarrel; to the viewers.] "Another perk to having my own room? I don't have to get involved." [Before he starts to brush, someone's knocking on his door and it's revealed to be Lynn holding a pillow.] Lincoln: "Hey, Lynn. What's up?" Lynn: "There's no way I'm staying in the same room with the Duchess of Darkness. Can I bunk in your bedroom tonight?" Lincoln: "Uh...I'd say yes, but it's not really a bedroom, per se. There's barely enough space for me; tiny, small, cramped." Lynn:[downtrodden] "Ugh...I guess I'll just go sleep in the bathtub." Lincoln: "That's a great idea! Problem solved. Goodnight." [Right before he closes the door, Lynn gives him puppy eyes.] Lincoln:[relieved] "Aah..." [guiltily sighs and opens the door] "All right, you can stay. But just for one night." Lynn: "Thanks, Lincoln!" [busts out fist] Lincoln:[flinches] "Ah!" Lynn: "Two for flinching!" [playfully punches his arm twice and goes in, laughing.] Lincoln: "It's just for one night. What's the worst that could happen?" [goes in] "Okay, we'll have to establish a few ground rules. One, keep your hands off my..." [notices Lynn is using his toothbrush.] "...stuff." [Lynn spits out the toothpaste into his wastebasket and hands them to him; Lincoln tosses his toothbrush in there now that someone else has used it.] Lincoln: "As I was saying-" [sees Lynn playing with his giant robot action figure and stops her.] "Let's just set this down." [Lynn messes with his doodads.] "Careful!" [Lynn touches his clock.] "Please don't!" [Lynn tosses Bun-Bun in the air.] "Bun-Bun!" [catches him] "You okay? Did the mean girl hurt you?" Lynn:[looking around] "You know, I'm noticing a complete lack of balls in this room." [Lincoln makes a discomforted face at that remark.] "No soccer balls, no footballs, no baseballs, no balls. Good thing I brought my own!" [dumps sports balls out of her pillow case onto the floor.] Lincoln:[yawns] "Would you look at the time? Let's just turn in and get this night over with." Lynn: "What do you mean? It's still early, and you have a fun new roommate!" Lincoln: "Yeah-" Lynn:[puts a wrestling mask over Lincoln's head] "Lucha Libre!" Lincoln: "I can't see anything!" Lynn: "It's Lunatic Lynn off the third turnbuckle!" [leaps off the foot of Lincoln's bed] Lincoln: "What? What? I can't hear anything, either!" [Lynn lands on top of Lincoln and starts wrestling him to the ground and pins him down.] Lynn: "One, two, three! You're out. Yeah! Lunatic Lynn is El Campeón del Mundo!" Lincoln:[fatigued and bruised] "Can we just go to sleep? There's less pain involved." Lynn: "Not when you're a sleep fighter like me!" [busts out fist] Lincoln:[flinches] "Ah!" Lynn: "Two for flinching!" [playfully punches his arm twice and laughs; Lincoln sighs.] [Later, the two are ready to go to bed; but as Lincoln turns off the lights, Lynn starts ricocheting a tennis ball off the wall.] Lincoln:[irritated] "What are you doing?" Lynn: "What? It helps me fall asleep." Lincoln: "Well, it doesn't help me. Can you knock it off?" [Lynn throws the ball at Lincoln's head and, as they're starting to sleep, Lynn lets out a big fart from under the covers and laughs.] Lincoln: "Ugh! Lynn!" Lynn:[pulls the covers over Lincoln.] "DUTCH OVEN!" [laughs as Lincoln cries in distress over the gas she let out; sets him free as he breathes heavily.] "Goodnight, Lincoln." Lincoln:[agonized] "Goodnight..." [Later, Lynn is snoring so loud and drooling so much, Lincoln just can't get any sleep and gets out of bed and takes his pillow with him.]
[The next morning, Lori wakes up and goes into the bathroom and gets ready to take a shower, but as she turns on the water, someone is already in there and screams over the wet awakening; Lori opens the curtains to see that it's Lincoln who took Lynn's idea of sleeping in the bathtub.] Lori:[irked] "Lincoln! What are you doing?" Lincoln:[more irked] "Getting my room back." [leaves the bathroom] Luan: "Mornin', Linc. Wet's up?" [laughs] [Lynn is getting out of bed and feels refreshed and sees Lincoln.] Lynn: "What a great night's sleep. You look terrible." [Lincoln starts pushing her] "Hey!" Lincoln: "Thank you for staying at Chateau Lincoln, where we have a one night maximum stay. Thank you." [pushes her back into her own room and goes into his; but off in the distance...] Lucy: "What are you doing here?" Lynn: "What am I doing here?" [gets kicked out] Lucy: "Get out!" Lynn: "What do you mean "get out"? Fine! I'll just stay in Lincoln's room again! He's a way cooler roomy, anyway!" [goes back in Lincoln's room] Lincoln: "But-" [Lynn closes the door] "Lucy! Please make up with Lynn!" Lucy: "I'd rather wear pink." Lincoln: "But-" [Lucy closes the door and Lincoln sighs.]
Lincoln:[walking to school with Clyde] "What do I do, Clyde? I can't just kick her out. She is my sister, but she's invaded my space." Clyde: "Can you blame her for staying, Lincoln? You're just too good a roommate." Lincoln:[getting an idea] "But...what if I was a bad roommate? I've got a plan!" [runs back home] Clyde: "Wait! But we still have school." Lincoln:[turns around back to school] "Right. I'll just execute my plan after school."
[Lynn enters Lincoln's room and notices there's something different about him.] Lynn: "Lincoln?" [Lincoln is now sporting a goth attire akin to Lucy's.] Lincoln:[despondently] "Hey, Lynn. Wanna hear my new poem? It's called "Space"." [starts reading] "Space: deep, black, endless, like my heart. Space, mine invaded. Torn apart. This is the real me, Lynn. I can understand if you don't want to be my roommate anymore." Lynn:[upset] "Oh..." [suddenly laughs, surprising Lincoln] "Oh, that is the best impression of Lucy ever!" [wraps him around her arm] "You are so funny, roomy!" [laughs some more] [Lincoln chokes under her wrap; another sleepless night for him; the next night, as Lynn enters...] Lincoln: "Campeón del Mundo! Loco Lincoln!" [sneak-attacks Lynn with his wrestling mask on and pins her down.] "One, two, three! You're out! Yeah! Rah! Whoo!" Lynn: "Hey, that's cheating. I like the way you think!"[laughs] [Lincoln sighs and has to put up with her some more; later, the two are in bed when he farts like she did before and subjects her to his own Dutch oven.] Lincoln: "DUTCH OVEN!" [laughs as Lynn cries in distress this time.] Lynn:[furious] "That is it!" [gets out of bed and leaves, making Lincoln smile in belief that his plan finally worked and he has his space back, but then returns with all her stuff; cheerful.] "You really are the best roommate ever! I'm moving in! Permanently!" [Lincoln will now have to endure sleepless nights with Lynn as his roommate forever.]
[The next morning, another showering awakening occurs courtesy of Lori; Lincoln goes out the bathroom and notices Lucy ricocheting one of Lynn's balls across the wall.] Lucy: "Sigh..." Lincoln: "Good morning, Lucy." Lucy:[denying] "Ball? What ball?" [tosses the ball away and it hits her head and she doesn't react] [Lincoln starts to get suspicious and finds Lynn sighing sadly while reading Lucy's poetry.] Lincoln: "Good morning, Lynn." Lynn:[denying] "Book of Lucy's poems?" [tosses the book away] "What book of Lucy's poems?" [The book hits her head and she doesn't react; Lincoln is extra curious about this.]
Lincoln:[walking with Clyde now more exhausted] "I know they miss each other. I just need to figure out a way to get them to make up." Clyde: "Nothing brings two opposites together like a nice dinner. Good food, good conversation, romance is in the air..." [has one of his Lori fantasies] Lincoln: "Romance?" Clyde: "Huh? Oh. I was just daydreaming about a date with your sister, Lori. What were you saying?" Lincoln: "That's a great idea, though, minus the romance. They'll be so caught up in dinner, that they'll forget all about the fight, make up, and I'll get my room back! Time to execute my plan! [runs back home, but then turns around] After school. Right."
[Later that night, Lincoln executes his plan; he slips two little invitations into specific spots: one in Lucy's poetry book and the other under his door; as he goes to hide, the two get the invitation and know why they're there and decide to get the dinner over with; after a long pause.] Lucy & Lynn: "I'm glad you finally wanna apologize to me." [angry] "What? Me apologize to you? You're here to apologize to me!" [Lincoln realizes his plan is now going south from there as they are about to go at it yet again.] Lucy: "You are absolutely crazy." Lynn: "What? Are you crazy? Absolutely not!" Lucy: "I don't understand why you think this is my fault!" Lynn: "I mean, really!" Lucy: "You are absolutely wrong." Lynn: "Just respect the space!" [The commotion grabs the attention of the other sisters.] Lori: "Yikes. I'd sure hate to get in the middle of that." Lincoln:[realizing what he must do] "Yeah, but...sometimes, you have to." [goes in their room] Lucy: "It's just ridiculous." Lynn: "I'm not the one who started it! You're the one who started it!" Lucy: "Please." Lynn: "Don't even get me started!" Lincoln: "HOLD IT!" [gets their attention] "Guys, I made this dinner so that you two would make up." [The feuding roommates feel offended.] Lynn: "You did this?" Lucy: "Why?" Lincoln: "Because I realize even though it must be tough to have to share a space all the time, I know you miss each other. But you're just too stubborn to admit it." [The two then see what he means.] Lucy: "I guess I do have trouble sleeping without a ball banging against the wall." Lynn: "And I guess I do miss hearing you sigh heavily as you write your poems." Lincoln: "See? Now you two make up, because if I have to spend one more night with "Snorezilla" over here, I'm going to go insane!" [Lynn throws a meatball at him.] Lucy: "Ha! Nice throw." Lynn: "You like that?" [throws another one at Lincoln.] [Lincoln throws it back and Lynn ducks and it hits Lucy instead and Lynn laughs at it and Lucy hits her with one into her mouth.] Lucy: "Ha ha." [The two of them grab some spaghetti and look like they're about to take their fight to a whole new level.] Lincoln:[worriedly] "Uh-oh..." [But the fight is more for their enjoyment than their frustration and they start laughing. Lincoln joins in on the fray.] Lori: "Well...I'm outskies." Luan: "Yeah. It's way pasta our bedtime." [laughs] [The other sisters just sigh at Luan's pun as they head off to bed; the food fight is now over and the jock and goth are satisfied.] Lynn: "So, I can move back in?" Lucy: "Nothing would make me happier." Lynn:[busts out fist] "Two for flinching!" [but Lucy didn't flinch] "Dang! It never works on you." [They hug] Lucy: "I'm glad we made up, but there's no way we can sleep here tonight." [They made quite a mess from their food fight and it got all over their beds.] Lucy & Lynn: "Lincoln?"
[Lincoln's room] Lincoln:[to the viewers] "Space...the final frontier. Sure, I'm lucky enough to have a room to call my own, but in the Loud House, we all know when we need to share." [It's revealed that both Lynn AND Lucy are sleeping with Lincoln in his room tonight until they have time to clean up the mess they made.] Lincoln: "But just for one night!" [slips on his Loco Lincoln mask] "Buenas noches!"
