The following is a transcript for the episode "Store Wars with the Casagrandes".


[Bobby is working in the bodega.]
Margarita: "Aye, mijo, I need to know where you Abuelo gets this salsa verde from, it's the best I've ever had."
Bobby: "Sorry, Margarita, it's a mercado secret."
Margarita: "Maybe this will change your mind?" [Gives Bobby a coupon.]
Bobby: "Buy ten haircuts, get one free. Oh thanks, but I'm good, my girlfriend Lori cuts my hair."
Margarita: [Sarcastically sighs] "I can tell, muchacho."
[Margarita leaves and Bobby has very mixed emotions, Ronnie Anne runs in.]
Ronnie Anne: "Bobby, come on! They're finally opening up that mystery store across the street!"
[Bobby leaves the attendant counter.]
Bobby: "Ooh, I hope it's a gym. I really want to get ripped." [Flexes, while his sister is unimpressed.] "Or a movie theater, 'cause just sitting is fine, too." [The siblings go across the street to a giant sheet that says 'Grand Opening', where a man and woman, with straight faces, and green spandex clothing, do an aerobic dance.] "Nice, I was right, a gym." [The woman jumps of the guys arm and pulls down the curtain, revealing what the store actually is.] "Hi 'n' Buy? Oh it's a supermarket, that's not good."
Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry, I'm sure they don't have anything the mercado doesn't.
[The dancers roll out a red carpet.]
Bobby: [Drops to his knees.] "We don't have a red carpet." [The siblings enter the store and see what else their is.] "Or a magic piano, or any of this."
Ronnie Anne: "You could fit like, five mercados in this place." [Sees something] "Woah, check that out."
[At a nearby kiosk, a man throws a squash up and sticks a knife through it, slices it in half and catches both halves on another knife, puts them on the table and dices them, the customer is amazed.]
Female Samples Employee: [Comes up to them] "Neat, huh? We'll chop any veggie you purchase free of charge." [Takes out a tray with water.] "Care to sample our spa water? Today's flavour is eye line sky."
Ronnie Anne: "I didn't even know that was a flavour."
Female Samples Employee: "How about a cocktail weenie with a plight of dipping sauces."
Ronnie Anne: [Her pupils and mouth taking heart shapes.] "Ooooooohhhhhhhh."
Bobby: "Okay, I've seen enough."
[Bobby takes his sister away, they walk to the exit, Ronnie Anne is kind of disappointed, a male checkout employee greets them.]
River: "Hi there, I'm River, and I'll be your check out buddy."
Bobby: [Not interested] "Sorry, we were just leaving."
River: "Oh well, here's your parting gift," [Takes two pennies out of his apron pocket and gives them each one.] "a good luck penny, you can keep it, or make a wish in our fountain."
Bobby: [Looks at his penny, and hears a splashing sound.] "Huh?" [Looks behind him and sees that his own sister made her wish, he turns around with aggravation.] "Well, I hope you wished for this place to close, there's no way the mercado can compete with it."
Ronnie Anne: "Don't worry Bobby, we have the most loyal customers in the wor-"
[The two look over, and at the self check-out, one of their Abuelo's best customers and personal friend is there.]
Bobby: [As he and Ronnie Anne approach him.] "Vito?"
Vito: [startled by their presence.] "Hey kids, I was just looking around."
Ronnie Anne: "And buying half the store?"
Vito: "I'm sorry, but they got a whole aisle of gourmet taffy, and look," [scans the item] "it makes a little beep every time you scan an item, oh, I feel so alive."
[Bobby growls]
Ronnie Anne: "Chill, one of our customers shopping here is no big deal." [They go to the exit, only for Maybelle to walk in...] "Or two." [...followed by Mrs. Kernicky. Ronnie Anne is exasperated.] "Oh, come on!"

[Back at the apartment, Bobby is holding a family meeting.]
Bobby: "We're in trouble! The new supermarket is stealing our customers, we gotta make changes, or else, the mercado will be history."
[Everybody gasps]
Hector: "Hang on Roberto, the mercado's not going anywhere, we've been going strong for decades."
Bobby: "Trust me Abuelo, I had a lot of jobs back in Royal Woods, and I saw tons of family stores get crushed by bigger chains. I worked at a Corndog Hut that went under when a Corndog House moved into town, but then, Corndog House bit the dust because of a Corndog Mansion, pretty soon, a Corndog Palace came in and-"
Sergio: [Squawks] "We get the point."
Rosa: "We can't lose our business, this place is our home."
Frida: "Think of the blood, the sweat, the tears that went into building it, oh it's too much to bear." [Faints on the couch.]
Maria: "The mercado was my first job."
Bobby: "And I want it to be my job for the rest of my life, we gotta fight back."
Hector: "Mijo, if you think we're in danger of losing the business, I'll do anything to save it."
[The others ramble in agreement.]
Bobby: "Alright, here's my plan;" [Bobby puts up a poster at the bodega.] "first, we put up a sign advertising the 'New and Improved' Mercado Casagrande." [CJ helps Hector stock 'Fancy Gourmet Ketchup'.] "Stock new merchandise," [Carlitos helps Carlota set up a babysitting area.] "And offer our customers new services." [Rosa is running a 'Free Samples' booth, and gives Ronnie Anne a tray to pass out.] "From the moment our customers enter, we have to give them the shopping experience of their dreams." [To Sergio] "That means no sarcastic comments to the customers. Okay pal?"
Sergio: [Squawks; sarcastically] "Okay, pal."
Bobby: "That still sounded sarcastic."
[Bobby pridefully opens the bodega.]

[Later, a man walks in, and Carlitos offers him a basket, and mumbles a little.]
Bobby: "He says, 'Welcome to the mercado'." [Carlitos pridefully points to himself and mumbles some more.] "Oh, and let him know if you need anything."
Male Mercado Customer #1: "Ooh, how precious."
[Bobby and Carlitos wink at each other. In the aisles, CJ is helping using a grabbing pole to help Becca get a can.]
Becca: "Thanks, CJ."
CJ: "I'm here to help."
[Meanwhile, Ronnie Anne rolls by with her, now empty, tray, to her Abuela's 'Free Samples' kiosk to get more samples.]
Ronnie Anne: "Your flauta samples are going fast." [Skates off while a customer enjoys the samples.]
Rosa: "Good right? Better than the samples at the Bye bye store."
Male Mercado Customer #2: "Actually, I think it's called-"
Rosa: [Stuffs more taquitos into the guys mouth.] "Eat, eat."
[Meanwhile, at Carlota's babysitting area, a man with a prosthetic leg collects his daughter.]
Male Mercado Customer #3: "Thank you so much for watching her, you cut my shopping time in half."
Carlota: "So glad I could help, we're proud to be the only store in the neighborhood that offers a free babysitting service."
[At the shelves, Bobby is helping another customer.]
Bobby: "It's gourmet ketchup, made with the finest heirloom tomatoes, your hamburgers will never be the same."
[The customer takes some. Meanwhile, Maria is running her own kiosk, and servicing the mercado's toughest customer.]
Maybelle: "Free fruit peeling? Hmm, what's the catch?"
Maria: "No catch, just one of the many perks of shopping at the mercado."
Maybelle: [Places a bag on the counter.] "Make sure you get the stringy bits, they get stuck in my dentures."
[Maria gets peeling. Meanwhile, Carlos walks over to Vito in line.]
Carlos: "Greetings, I'll be your line friend. Can I make your wait more enjoyable with a fun fact?" [Vito shrugs, and Carlos regards the candy Vito's eating.] "Liquorice, huh? Did you know that Caesar was one of it's earliest fans?"
Vito: [Intrigued] "Ah, you don't say, I do love the man's salads."
[Hector is standing near the line next to a paper bag.]
Hector: "Self checkout right here, no line."
Mrs. Flores: [Confused] "Where's the scanner?"
Hector: [Takes an item out of her basket.] "Cereal: beep, three ninety-nine. One can of tuna: beep, dollar fifty."
[Maybelle is about to leave, when she opens the door, Frida suddenly takes her picture.]
Maybelle: "What the?"
Frida: "A parting gift for you, of this moment in time."
[Maybelle takes the photo, and it fades into appearance, of her looking surprised.]
Sergio: "Yikes." [Maybelle and Bobby give him dirty looks.] "Uh, I mean; wow, work those angles, girl."
[Frida nervously looks at Maybelle as she leaves, and subtly growls at Sergio who flies off as Frida closes the door. At the end of the day, the Casagrandes are cleaning the mercado, and a sweaty Carl comes in with the mercado bike.]
Bobby: "Hey, how did the deliveries go?"
Carl: "Awesome! But the next time someone on the fourth floor orders kitty litter, you're carrying it."
Bobby: [Offers a high five] "You got it."
Carl: [Not interested in high fiving Bobby.] "You're high fives are useless to me."
Bobby: "Oh right, you're more of a hugger." [Carl yelps as Bobby hugs him, looks at Bobby with annoyance, and wriggles his way out of the hug. Bobby turns the closed sign.] "You guys, all the changes we made really worked, this was our best day in months."
[The family cheers and Hector hugs Bobby.]
Hector: "Thanks, for taking charge, mijo."
Bobby: "Thank you, you guys worked so hard today, go to bed, I'll close up."

[Bobby comes out of the mercado with a plastic crate, he puts it on the ground and stands on it to put the gate down, when he sees Vito with another purchase from Hi 'n' Buy.]
Bobby: "Vito?"
Vito: [Startled, jumps] "I'm sorry, but I had no choice; I needed my bedtime cookie and the supermarket is the only place on the block that's still open."
Bobby: "Well I don't know why they are, no one else shops this late."
Stanley: [Approaches] "Oh I do, I can grab a snack before my midnight shift."
Cory: [Also approaches] "You talkin' about that new market? Love it, as an insomniac I finally feel seen."
Bobby: [Getting panicky] "Well, uh, didn't you guys know that we're open twenty-four hours too?"
Vito: "Then why are you closing the gate?"
Bobby: "Cause I, uh, uh, I was just cleaning it." [Starts wiping the gate with his apron, but the gate retracts back up taking Bobby with it.] "Yup, open all night."

[Later, Bobby has his very sleepy family in the mercado, giving them all hot chocolate.]
Ronnie Anne: "Bobby, this is crazy! We can't work all night, no matter how much hot cocoa you dish out."
Carlos: "If I don't get ten hours of sleep, I turn into a real grouch."
Frida: "Mmm-hmm, he does."
Bobby: "Sorry guys, but this is about survival, if the new place is open all night, we need to be too. Eventually we'll take shifts but for now, I need all hands on deck."
Rosa: "Vamanos, I'll make something to keep our energy up."
Carl: "Don't need it, I'm a night owl."
Rosa: "Really? Then I shouldn't save a churro for you?"
Carl: [Who likes churros, looks around and whispers to his Abuela.] "Uh, can you put it in my room?"
CJ: "Yay, this is gonna be fun."
[The family is excited to be pulling an all nighter.]
Bobby: "Thanks fam, to your posts."

[At around 1:25 am, Maria's fruit peeling gets really slow, and CJ falls asleep trying to reach for a can. At 2:30 am Carl is asleep on the handlebars of the bike, and falls off. Meanwhile, Rosa and Ronnie Anne are outside making churros.]
Rosa: [Sleepy] "More sugar, Ronalda."
[Ronalda looks at the bowl of ingredients, but she's so tired she picks up the salt by mistake, and neither one notices. Hector is still playing self checkout.]
Hector: "One blan of bleans, I mean blean of hans: beep, two ninety-bling."
[Carlota is asleep, when a woman approaches her.]
Female Mercado Customer: "Hi, is this the babysitting area?"
Carlota: "Oh, yup."
Female Mercado Customer: "So you'll look after any baby?"
Carlota: "Uh, yes."
Female Mercado Customer: [Pleased] "Great. Clara! Anthony!" [Whistles and two raccoons run up to Carlota and jump on her, she uncomfortably smiles.]
Bobby: [Getting a phone call] "Casagrando, how I help you."
Carlos: [With the raccoon lady in line; grouchy.] "Ooh, well you've heard that fact before, well excuse me."
[Throws his hand backwards, splattering pulp all over his sister, she gives him a dirty look.]
Bobby: "Carl, CJ, look alive, Maybelle called in an order; I need a dozen mangos, no bruises, three cans of mango pulp, two packs of mango gum, one pint of mango sorbet, and a roll of toilet paper."
[The boys get on that. Ronnie Anne rolls in, with a tray of churros, her entrance scares the daylights out of Frida who drops her camera, the flash goes off scaring Carlitos, Frida picks him up. Suddenly Clara and Anthony run by, Carlota chasing them, and they knock over a bag of flour, which covers Carlota. Carl comes by with the mangos, but the raccoons knock him over, CJ is following Carl, but he steps on a mango and drops his bag, the mango pulp and toilet paper splatters all over the customers, they all get annoyed and go to leave.]
Bobby: "Wait, don't go! We have churros."
[Ronnie Anne tosses everyone a churro, they eat, and are disgusted.]
Male Mercado Customer: [Retches] "These are salty!"
[Clara and Anthony are also disgusted.]
Female Mercado Customer: [Grabs her babies] "Ugh! My babies have high blood pressure."
Bobby: "Forget churros, we have, uh, uh, uh."
[Everyone leaves]
CJ: "This is bad, right?"
Bobby: "Yes, and it's my fault, no matter what we do, we'll never be able to keep up with Hi 'n' Buy, they're too big, we're just the little guy."
Hector: [Puts his hand on Bobby's back.] "It's okay Mijo, I'm proud of you for trying, I'm just sad we're not gonna be around much longer."
Rosa: "Let's all get some sleep."
[Everyone leaves, Maria puts her hand on her son's back, when her brother slips on the mango pulp and lands offscreen in a likely uncomfortable position.]
Carlos: [In a high voice] "A little help."
[Maria goes to help him, and Bobby sadly goes over to the door and changes the sign to closed. Suddenly Par knocks.]
Par: "Fruit delivery." [Bobby lets him in] "Woah, what happened in here?"
Bobby: "Don't ask Par, and just so you know, this will probably be your last delivery to us, I think we'll be going out of business soon."
Par: [Horrified] "No! Where am I gonna get my hair wax? You guys order that specially for me."
Bobby: "Sorry Par, but...[gets an idea] Wait a minute!" [grabs Par by the shoulders] "You just gave me idea about how to save this place."
Par: [Calm] "Cool."

[The next day, Bobby takes down the 'New Mercado' sign, crumples it and puts it in the trash, he hears the mercado bell and runs inside to help the customer.]
Bobby: [Handing Mrs. Flores her groceries.] "Here you go Mrs. Flores, I set aside your morning paper, and your favorite breakfast; Abuela's homemade chocolate concha."
Mrs. Flores: "Oh, you know me too well, gracias Bobby."
[Mrs. Flores leaves, enjoying her sweetbread, and passes the family as they come in.]
Bobby: "Hey, hope you guys caught up on your sleep."
Ronnie Anne: "Bobby, where's our kiosks? Why'd you change everything back?"
Bobby: "Because I realize we don't need to be more like that other market, we need to be more like ourselves."
[Just then Margarita shimmies in.]
Margarita: "Morning Casagrandes. Thanks for the call Bobby, so you got more of my salsa verde?"
Bobby: "You bet."
Margarita: "I better take two." [Laughs] "Oh, what would I do without this mercado." [Exits]
Bobby: "See? We've got something that other stores will never have, we know our customers better than anyone else could."
Becca: [Pops in] "Bobby, I got your message, you got in more of those amazing tamarindo balls?"
Bobby: "Right in the usual spot."
Becca: "Noice!"
[Goes to get them. Mr. Nakamura comes to the register.]
Bobby: "Hey Mr. Nakamura, I found one of my Abuela's special elixirs for Nelson's gas problem."
[Nelson barks]
Mr. Nakamura: "He doesn't like to talk about it in public." [Nelson farts] "You know, this is the only place around here that still feels like a neighborhood store."
Bobby: "Thanks, though we like to think of of as a family store."
[Just then, Vito walks in.]
Hector: [Slightly irate] "What's the matter Vito? Did Hi 'n' Buy run out of gourmet taffy?"
Vito: "No, but it gave me the-" [hiccups] "the nastiest case of-" [hiccups]
Bobby: "Psst." [Gives Hector a bottle.]
Hector: "Perfecto, try this agua mineral, it's my special hiccup cure."
Vito: [Drinks the mineral water.] "Ooh, it worked." [With a twinge of guilt.] "Uh, so about me shopping across the street, I just wanna say,"
Hector: [Reassuringly] "Let's pretend it never happened."
Vito: "Yeah okay, I'm good." [Leaves]
Hector: "You know, I think we're gonna be in business for a long time, right Bobby?" [Doesn't get an answer and turns around.] "Bobby?"
[Bobby is now catching up on his sleep.]

v - e - d The Loud House episode transcripts
v - e - d The Casagrandes episode transcripts
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