The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[At Camp Mastodon, one of the cabins is filled with singing little girls who are having a lot of fun]
Girls:
🎵"At Mastodon we ramble on." "All day long our silly song." "It's so much fun to swim and play." "La la la, la la la la." 🎵
[Lisa however is just sitting at the table, with earmuffs on, suddenly she gets a notification on her laptop] Lisa: "Fellow Puffins! Cease with the racket." [Tosses the earmuffs away] "I've just received electronic mail from Counsellor Lydia. Come gather." [Darcy and the other puffin girls do just that as Lisa reads the email] "Hey, Puffin girlies. Just got my wisdom teeth out. Thanks for the heads up, Lisa." [Elaborates to the others] "I told her they looked impacted." [Returns to the email] "Doctor said swelling should go down soon. Sent a pic." [The other girls gasp at the photo of their counsellor with swollen jaws. Lisa continues reading] "Won't be back this summer, frowny face, but your new counsellor should be there any…" [Just then the door is kicked open. The Puffins look and see Lynn] Lynn: "'Sup, Puffins." Lisa: "Lynn? Are you lost again? The mess hall is two cabins over." Lynn: "Nope, you are looking at your new bunk leader." [All the Puffins, minus Lisa, cheer for this] "Well, shall we get this Puffin party started? First, I'm thinking belly-flop contest." Puffin Girl 1: "Whoo! Belly-flop!" [Attempts to do one right off the top bunk. Lynn catches her before she hits the wooden floor] Lynn: "I meant in the lake. But love the enthusiasm. Follow me everyone." [All of Lisa's cabinmates exit the cabin cheering] Puffin Girls: "Belly-flop! Belly-flop!" [Lynn looks back and sees Lisa isn't moving] Lynn: "Let's see some hustle, Loud." Lisa: "Pass." [Relaxes in her bed] "These short legs are not meant for hustle. I'll be in my bed reading." [Pulls out a magazine] "Gotta catch up on 'Unpopular Science'." [Gets reading] "I hear February's fungi issue is a page turner." Lynn:[Tosses the magazine] "Come on, I've got an epic day planned. We're gonna hike, swim, climb." Lisa: "And I shall be doing none of those." [Sighs] "I thought Lydia would have briefed you. Between the viral germs, poison oak, lake fungus and the zero point zero, zero, zero, two percent chance of a cicada tornado there's just too much risk for me to leave this cabin." Lynn:[Can't believe Lisa right now] "A zero point zero, zero, zero, two percent chance? That's like, uh, ninety-nine percent not gonna happen and like fifty percent not even real." Lisa: "Yeah, that's not how percentages work, dear sibling." [Jumps down] "You can be on your way." [Ushers Lynn to the door] "I'll be fine." Lynn: "I'm not taking no for an answer. As your counsellor…" [A flag waves behind Lynn] "..and your sister, I don't want you missing out on any of the fun. Give me one day to prove all your fears are bogus" [The sound of a closing window is heard, followed by the flag dropping] Lisa:[Who closed the window, sighs] "I foresee your can-do spirit not letting this go so, um, fine. But when you're wrong should I just say 'I told you so', or write a dissertation on it?" [Gets smug, then gets a pair of swim shorts thrown in her face] Lynn:[Offscreen] "Just put some swim trunks on."
[In the lake, Darcy and the other Puffin girls are merrily splashing around. Lynn is keeping an eye on them. Suddenly a shadow looms over her] Lisa:[Offscreen] "Okay, fifth-born sibling." [Is wearing a swimsuit and floaties and is inside an inflatable hamster ball] "I am ready for the lake." Lynn: "What are you wearing?" Lisa:[Thinks Lynn is referring to the swimsuit] "Polka dots. I know, a departure from my usual aesthetic but it's all Darcy brought as a spare." Lynn: "No, the giant hamster ball." Lisa: "Oh, this? Why, it's an inflatable walking sphere of course. It protects me from all the horrors of the outside world. Allow me to demonstrate." [Rolls the ball right over Lynn and jumps into the lake then runs out to join her friends, who she just splashes away. Lynn groans and gets into the lake, then she simply walks over to Lisa, who isn't looking at her] "It's waterproof, fully insulated, UV repelling, and most importantly, prevents me from touching the squishy floor of the lake…" [Lynn isn't even listening, she just tries to pull the tab on the ball, but she can't] "..which could have flesh eating bacteria that travel through your feet pores and into your bowels." [A small stick floats by Lynn, she picks it up, assesses its pointiness, and pops Lisa's ball. Lisa flops right into the lake and flails around in panic, but then realizes she's perfectly fine] Lynn: "See? You're a hundred and fifty percent fine." Lisa: "Well, once again mathematically impossible but you are indeed correct. I'm okay? I am okay!" [Swims around Lynn and loves it] "I'm canine propelling. Street name… doggy paddling." Lynn: "Yeah, Lis. Let's keep this party going."
[Later, Lynn and the Puffins are on the volleyball court] Lynn: "Alright, the game is beach volleyball." Lisa: "Oh, no. Volleyball's the most injury-prone sand activity in history. You could suffer jammed fingers, jumper's knee." [gasps] "Whiplash." [Lynn blows her whistle] Lynn: "Darcy, you serve first." [Tosses Darcy the ball. She serves it perfectly. It goes over the net and in Lisa's direction] Lisa:[Observes] "If the ball is travelling at approximately twenty miles an hour with zero point eight five newtons of drag force that means I need to… RUN!" [Dives out of the way of the ball. Lynn cringes. Lisa landed upside-down in a sand pile. Lynn pulls her out by one leg. The sand empties out of Lisa's glasses and she spits it out of her mouth. Lynn drops her] "Well, that was a fun little experiment until I was flattened." [Takes off] "I'll be in my cabin." Lynn:[Cuts Lisa off] "Give it another try, Lis." [Shows Lisa how it's done] "Okay, keep your hands out like this and when the ball comes, hold steady." [Lisa is really unsure about this. Lynn blows her whistle. Darcy serves again, this time Lisa stands still, but looks away. The ball simply bounces off her fists and flies over the net. Darcy's teammate dives but misses] Lisa:[Gasps] "I did it! Oh, what a rush." Lynn:[Offscreen] "Yeah, Lisa!" [Gives her two thumbs up. The ball is rolled to Lisa who is much more enthusiastic] Lisa: "Look alive, ladies! One serving one."
[Later, the Puffins are having a boat race. Some of the girls row their boats slowly and steadily. Then Lisa and Darcy's boat flies past. Darcy is paddling and Lisa is navigating. They go so fast a fish gets flung into Lynn's mouth] Lisa: "Yeehaw! Put your back into it Darcy! Victory is at hand!" [Lynn spits out the floppy fish and looks on]
[Later, the Puffins are preparing to have a tug of war in a mud pit] Lisa:[Joins her team] "Tug of war's all about force distribution." [Picks up the rope] "So this balanced setup all but guarantees our victory." Lynn: "Pull!" [Immediately Lisa and her team get dragged into the mud. Lynn goes over to Lisa] "Lisa, are you okay?" [Helps her up] Lisa: "I'm muddy." [Lynn gets a bad idea of where this is going] "And, having the time of my life!" [Lisa lets herself fall backwards and makes mud angels]
[Later, the Puffins are having a waterballoon fight. The girls chase each other around. Darcy has a water balloon in her hand, a determined look on her face, and her bestie on her mind] Darcy:[Wants to nail her bestie] "Where are you, Lisa?" [Lisa is behind a log, wearing jungle camouflage] "I know you're around here somewhere." [Lisa's log is behind Darcy, and Lisa has the same intention as her bestie] "Come out, come out, wherever you are." [Lisa loads her water balloon into a slingshot and fires, nailing Darcy right in the back of the head. Lisa snickers and suddenly gets a balloon in the back of her head too. She looks and sees her fellow science club member with a devious look. Lisa runs from her, laughing]
[Later, Lisa and Lynn and just casually strolling] Lisa: "I, uh, suppose apologies are in order, athletic sibling. You've helped me realize all my fears are unfounded. Or bogus as you call it." Lynn:[Satisfied] "Hey, hey." [Fistbump] "That's what counsellors, and big sisters are for, right?" [Calls the other girls] "Okay, Puffins! Time for the final activity of the day! The zip-line." Lisa: "As Albert Einstein once said; 'Let's do this thang!'" [Immediately, Lisa and the Puffins are at the top of the structure ready to go. Lisa gives a thumbs up to Lynn, who gives her one right back. Lisa jumps] "Woohoo! Elevated heart-rate, epidermal hairs upright, by all indications I'd say I'm amped at camp." [Suddenly the zipline stops] "Uh… Lynn! Little problem here!" [Lynn comes over and sees] Lynn: "This happens all the time!" [Looks around for a solution] "Oh, I'll be right back! Gotta run to the mess hall!" [Takes off] Lisa:[Getting scared] "Yeah, uh, poor time for a snack!"
[Lynn returns with a bucket full of balloons, all covered with a yellow substance] Lynn: "Butter balloons! These will grease the line!" [Meanwhile various woodland creatures have perched on Lisa] Lisa: "Oh, thank goodness. I was beginning to worry you'd come up with a ridiculous plan!" [Lynn throws two balloons at Lisa's line, followed by the rest, but all that does is pile butter on the zipline, which then slops all over Lisa. She wipes it off her glasses and tries to move] "It's not working. I fear it's a mass issue. As in I don't have enough." Lynn: "Ha ha. Well I got plenty, I'll dislodge you with my bulk." [Flexes her really large muscles] "Be right there!" [Lynn climbs to the top of the zipline tower and get on a harness and helmet. But before she can go, she hears a buzzing sound] "Huh? What is that?" Lisa:[Horrified] "That would be the unmistakable chorus of…" [One of Lisa's fears has arrived. Lisa freaks out] "A cicada tornado!" Lynn: "I'm coming, Lisa!" [Takes off on the zip line] "Hold on!" Lisa: "I should have stayed in the bubble!" [The cicada tornado sucks Lisa in and takes off, just as Lynn gets there] Lynn: "Lisa!" [The cicada's take Lisa into the woods]
[Meanwhile, Leonard is on his boat, playing chess with a squirrel, when Lynn arrives] Lynn: "Gramps!" [The other Puffins jump on board with a sack of water balloons] "Lisa's in trouble! All hands on deck! Hoist the sails!" Leonard: "This is a motorboat, but aye aye, Captain." [Sees the cicada tornado] "Oh no. Lisa." [The cicadas take her across the lake] Lynn: "After that cicada tornado!" [Leonard launches his boat and they chase after the cicadas] "Water balloon me." [Someone hands her one. She and two other Puffins are ready to throw] "Steady… aim… fire!" [They throw the balloons at the tornado. The cicadas disperse and Lisa inflates her life vest before she drops into the lake] "Booyah! See ya lata, cicadas." [To Lisa] "You okay? We'll swing around and pick you up. Stay right there." Lisa:[A little miffed] "As if I have a choice!" [They approach Lisa in the boat and Lynn tosses her a life ring, but just as Lisa is trying to grab it a mosquito lands on the line attached to her life vest, a big fish sees the mosquito as food and jumps for it. The mosquito gets away, but grabs Lisa's line and tows her away] Lynn: "Oh, come on! What are the chances?" Lisa:[Being pulled away] "Zero point zero, zero, three, four percent!" Lynn: "Follow that fish!" [Leonard grows a determined look and casts off. The fish is still dragging Lisa when the boat pulls up to her, Lynn ready with a net] "A little closer! I almost got her!" [Suddenly she hears an eagle. The eagle swoops down and grabs the fish] Lisa:[To the audience] "Well, I fear this is bad news for old Lisa." [The eagle into the peaks, with Lisa in tow] "Aah! I hate being right!" Lynn: "It must be taking her to its nest! Come on!"
[They pull up to the shore and Lynn hops off] Lynn: "Gramps, you take the girls back to camp. I got a mountain to climb." [Lynn climbs the mountain one ridge at a time, she runs up a mesa and finally arrives at the top of the mountain, struggling] "Don't worry, Lisa. I got you." [Gasps. She's at the nest but it's empty] "Lisa?" [Looks around but she's all alone] "LISAAAA!" [Lynn screams so loud, inside the nest, that birds fly out of the trees] "I gotta find her." [Suddenly she feels the nest tipping] "No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" [Screams as the nest slides right back down the mountain]
[Meanwhile, back at camp, Leonard is finishing his chess game with the squirrel when Lynn slides up] Lynn: "Gramps! I couldn't find Lisa. We need to form a search party. I'll need ten expert trackers and at least a dozen blood hounds." Leonard: "Woah, woah. Drop your anchor, Minnow. She came back." Lynn: "Wait, what?" [Looks over and sees Lisa, wrapped in a blanket, chilling on a log with Darcy as if nothing happened. Lynn gasps] "Lisa! You're okay!" [Hugs her as Darcy gets up to leave] "How did you get back so fast?" Lisa: "Artemis the eagle, of course. I did a quick study on his communication patterns and politely asked for a ride down. He's a very affable bird." Lynn: "Lisa, I am so sorry. Every junked up thing that happened to you today is my fault. I understand if you wanna spend the rest of camp in your cabin." Lisa: "Oh, well, I won't be doing that." Lynn: "What?" Lisa: "I learned something today, from you actually. The worst case scenario happened and I'm still okay. Turns out I'm more capable thanI thought. I just had to tap into my inner Lynn." [Laughs] "I flew on the wings of an accipitridae for Pete's sake. Plus I made some fascinating discoveries about the weight capacity of a cicada. Win-win." Lynn: "So you're not afraid anymore?" Lisa: "Eh, let's just say the chances of what happened today occurring again are zero point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, two percent. I'll take those odds. Hey, wanna take Artemis for a spin? He's gotta be home by six though, his wife is serving regurgitated earthworms for dinner." Lynn: "Heck yeah! Let's ride." Lisa: "Artemis! To me!" [Artemis returns and picks up Lisa, Lynn grabs on and enjoys the ride]
