The quotations in the following transcript are owned by Paramount and are an exception to The Loud House Encyclopedia's CC-BY-SA license. This transcript is provided in full as a source of review and reference, which likely falls under fair use.
[The episode opens on an exterior shot of Camp Mastodon. By the welcome sign, Vanzilla drives up, its windshield covered in bugs. The bugs are wiped away by the windshield wipers, revealing the Loud family inside the van.] Lynn Sr.: Ha ha! We're here, kiddos! Everyone out! [The family steps out of Vanzilla, and it's revealed that Clyde is with them, but Lola's the only one who's not all-smiles about this trip.] Lincoln: We made it! [Enter Leonard.] Leonard: Here they are! [scoops the kids up in a big hug] Welcome to camp, family! Settle in! Lincoln:[walks up to his family's pile of luggage] My family and Clyde are spending the summer at Camp Mastodon. [tries to pull out his orange suitcase, only to cause the suitcases on top of the pile to collapse on top of him; sticks himself out from under them] My older sisters get to be camp counselors... [Nearby, Leonard is handing counselor uniforms to Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan.] Leonard: Here. You each get a special T-shirt that lets the kids know you're in charge! [Luna rips the sleeves off of her T-shirt] Luna! That was brand new! Luna: Now it has style! [Lynn Sr. walks by, carrying his cooking supplies.] Lincoln: Dad's gonna be the camp cook... [Meanwhile, Rita enters a camp office.] Lincoln: Mom wants to revive The Mastodon Minute. [Cut to a close-up of the last new installment of the camp newspaper in question. Rita reads the headline:] Rita:New invention hits mess hall: The toaster. [Cut back to Lincoln, having now gotten his suitcase out.] Lincoln: The rest of us get to be campers. We're all so excited! Lola:[walks by with her overstuffed suitcase, clearly NOT excited] Ugh, unbearable. It's 10 AM and I'm sweating already! [sees a mosquito buzzing in front of her] AAAHH! BUG!! [sprays it] Lincoln: Well, most of us. Come on, Clyde! Let's find our bunk!
[One screen-wipe later, Lincoln and Clyde, now wearing camp uniforms, are reading the bunk assignments.] Lincoln:[takes one of the attached clipboards] All the bunk names are so cool! The Sabre-Tooth Tigers, the Apex Predators, the Megalodons... Clyde:[takes the clipboard] Oh, here we are. We're in the... Ticks. Uh... no big deal. I'm sure there are other... Nope, we're the only bugs. Lincoln: Oh well. Let's meet our bunkmates. [Clyde nods and they head to the bunk. Inside, one of said bunkmates, Marshall, is putting up Rip Hardcore posters. The camera zooms out to reveal he's on the other bunkmate Iggy's shoulders.] Iggy: Marshall, are you done? My neck's going numb. [Lincoln and Clyde enter.] Lincoln: Hello, fellow Ticks! [Iggy stumbles a bit, causing Marshall to fall backward onto the nearby bed.] I'm Lincoln, and this is Clyde. [notices the Rip posters] Holy hardcore! You guys are Rip fans too? [Lincoln and Clyde zip over to their new bunkmates, and they all imitate bird calls.] Marshall: Only hardcore hardcore fans can do Rip's macaw call! Welcome to the Tick bunk. I'm Marshall. That's Iggy. Iggy: I'm a Rip Hardcore collector. Check out my latest score: A wooden recorder that Rip whittled out of the bark from a mango tree! Lincoln and Clyde: [awestruck] Whoa... [Iggy starts playing a tune of the recorder, which sounds really bad as Marshall's reaction shows.] Clyde: Oh, that reminds me. A present my dads gave me: [puts said present on the nearby dresser] Rip's Tips of the Day mini-calendar! Marshall:[flips the calendar open to the current month] Check out today's tip: "You can make a sail out of underpants." Clyde: Does it specify whether that's boxers or briefs? Ah, doesn't matter; I'm wearing both!
[Outside, Lola is now in her camp uniform too and pushing her suitcase around.] Lola: Ugh, an entire summer in the Woolly Mammoth cabin, AND I HATE WOOL! [opens the door and screams in dismay]These are my living quarters?! [jumps onto one of the bunk beds] What IS this thread count, zero?! Lana:[entering with her other bunkmates] Hey sis! This is Summer and Mimi, our bunkmates. Wanna go play? Lola: No, thank you! I am busy grieving the state of our room. The depressing lighting is giving me a migraine! Lana: You mean the sunshine? [Summer and Mimi giggle] Well, if you change your mind, we'll be at the mudhole playing restaurant. [Lana, Summer, and Mimi leave the cabin. Immediately after, another mosquito flies in Lola's face.] Lola: AHHH!
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